Corrupt a Wish

[Shadrok]

Your wish has been granted...
But you find out that control is only an illusion and that you have no control over your powers.

I wish for the Sea Duck.

[CutMan]

You have your Sea Duck, but it migrates away to have its children in a far away land.

I wish for some Jack Skellington merchandise.

[e_voyager]

granted but you find out that t is all stolen and counterfeit while you get the blame. you wind up in jail for a crime you did not commit.

i wish i could remember why i hate photographic memories.

[Suwako]

Granted but you remember it in sound with lots of Ramnstein music through it and you can't make up what is said.

I wish to have a scary cat 

[Trevor]

Granted, here it is    

It,s make my kitty scared     
I wish for fire emblem : path of radiance 

[Lysander]

Granted, but the frightened kitty mauls the disk beyond repair.

I wish for worlds of spiders to explode out of nothing, only so they can crawl over my while I'm tryng to sleep...like their angry. I can't stop laughing.

[bill]

Fine, when you sleep, you get run over by a fleet of Maserati Spyders.


I wish I had a private jet.

[Vidar]

It doesn't come with a pilot, or fuel, or any guaranty of safety.

I wish the government would stop ripping up the roads. I need them for my car to drive over.

[Rowne]

Granted, the Government stop ripping up roads but they don't lay any new roads either.  Instead they begin a 'Cleaner America' initiative and ban all forms of automobiles, train tracks are laid out across the country and the US enters a new era of enlightenment.

... I wish to play Bermuda Triangle, an old PC game, again after having been reminded of it by my response to Bill's wish.

[And the aforementioned response, since I don't want to delete it.]

Granted!  You have a private jet and with all the mod-cons to boot.  It's one of the most splendiferous jets anyone could ever dream to lay eyes upon.  It even has a robotic pilot equipped with sustenance-serving capabilities and hyperintelligent mood-detecting systems empowering a mood-music playing digital 5.1 system.  Not to mention the jacuzzi or the 50in plasma screen television.

Of course, the robotic pilot happens to be running Windows XP and it isn't long before he picks up a virus, a virus of mysterious origins and your jet plummets to your demise above the bermuda triangle, at least that's what the official story was and you're never heard from again.

[CutMan]

Wish granted! However, you have to buy it from some guy on E-Bay for your life-savings money. After playing it for 3 minutes, you realize how much it sucks, and you lose your mind to a senseless game. What's more, you have no money to get into that college you always wanted.....

I wish for a dictionary.

[e_voyager]

granted but but it is in achent dawfish.

i wish i was not in such a rush right now

[Suwako]

Granted you are unrushed and jobless.

I wish I could control time!

[tenlaius]

granted, but you fall asleep, freezing town..time stopping..and you never waking up

i wish for my own drake-thing..or whatever Pip is

[e_voyager]

granted but he treats you the way pip treats dan. enjoy.

i wish i had a job, one that pays reall money.

[tenlaius]

granted, but the business's practices are illegal, so they are destroyed, leaving you without a job again


i wish for come coffee and a wine or 2..to finish what dan started experimenting with!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You get to experience the results of drinking coffee and wine - throwing up while buzzing like a fly in a microwave, unable to sit still and heave into the great white telephone.

I wish for some networks that just worked.

[Kitsune Ascendant]

granted. however, they violate the laws of nature, and because of this reality begins breaking down just about everywhere. results include various parts of your body moving through time faster than others. ouch.

I wish for an infinately powerfull weapon.

[CutMan]

Congrats! You now have the most powerful weapon ever conceived! However, you don't know how to use it the right way, and you end up totaling an entire city. The police catch you and you're sent to jail for a very long time.

I wish I had a book telling easy ways to rule the world with. Easy ways that a standard human could accomplish.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, gives you a copy of the necronomicaon

I wish it took less time to make food than to eat it. 

[CutMan]

Wish granted. You no longer cook your beef, and you end up with tape-worms living within your bowels. Creepy.

I wish the next person's wish would benefit me in some positive way.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, I wished you were a Calf. It benifits you because you no longer have to worry about working... however the down side is my friends and I are going to eat veal for supper in a few nights.

I wish I was superman!

[CutMan]

Not a problem. Unfortunately for you, Kryptonite is the latest designer jewelery, and everyone is wearing it. Even me.

I wish I became my normal human self again.

[Rowne]

Granted!  You submit the paperwork in order to become your normal self again and all seems to go well, there's a waiting period of 4-6 weeks in order for a reality shift to occur.  Unfortunately, somewhere along the paper-chain there was a bit of a hiccup and instead of ending up with your normal self, you end up with somebody else's normal self.  You're now a bean-counter, complete with suit and tie and a man who leads a very mundane existance.  You even find that your sock drawer is organized by colour and alphabetically.

I wish that there were a sequel to Cave Story because soon, I will have completed the hard route and one of the best games I've played since Fahrenheit will be lost to me, unless of course I decide to play it again, which I just might.

[bill]

Granted, Plato releases Cave Allegory 2: Revenge of Cave Allegory, which confuses you to hell.


I wish that they made CD jewel cases that didn't break when you drop them.

[Rowne]

(You actually made me laugh with that one, Bill.  It's a rare occurance that I guffaw at anything, good job.)

Granted, you have your unbreakable CD cases.  They're from the future [echo] and made of some form of tritanium.  Unfortunately, they have a bug wherein they seal and cannot be opened and even dropping rubber nuclear warheads upon them wouldn't see them revealing their prized innards.

I wish that I had Storm's capabilities so that I could randomly make it snow.  I want to make anthropomorphic snow entities in July.

[Suwako]

Granted however you havev little control of your power and kill yourself with a bolt of lightning

I wish I had a 'smart' car 

[e_voyager]

granted but your car is to smart and falls in love with you pulling a charline.

i wish i ken more about pop culture but it bores me

[Roureem Egas]

Huh? Um...your wish is granted except society deteriorates to Stone Age times? I can't make out what you're saying.

I wish the dungeon I'm going through didn't throw so many Data Bugs at me.

[roninfoxtail]

The data bugs stop. Instead, you face monsters that have the ablity to attack relentlessly, knocking your party out within mere seconds.

I wish I people would find a way to conserve energy when using fans, AC, etc.

[Rowne]

Granted!  You move to one of the countries supporting the Kyoto protocol, where these forms of technology are indeed more efficient.

I wish I knew what game it is that Egas is playing.

(Also, I think I understand e's wish.  I think the crux was 'ken' but 'ken' actually refers to know/knew.  So he's wishing he knew more about pop culture.)