[Art/Writing] Jairus: Merry Christmas

[Jairus]

It is actually kinda neat.. And many of the areas, like the Tower, the Arena and the Abandoned Mine, are quite recognizable.

It doesn't suck man.  It's actually not that bad at all.  Keep at it.

Well, okay, I'll keep working on it... though I think I'll start over from scratch and figure out ahead of time where everything is going so I can get the scale right. Draw a map, if you will.

[Mao]

It is actually kinda neat.. And many of the areas, like the Tower, the Arena and the Abandoned Mine, are quite recognizable.

It doesn't suck man.  It's actually not that bad at all.  Keep at it.

Well, okay, I'll keep working on it... though I think I'll start over from scratch and figure out ahead of time where everything is going so I can get the scale right. Draw a map, if you will.

Just make sure that the arena is only a little bit above the abandoned mine.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Yeah. If you're throwing things into it, you might as well make sure it's good and close. ;-]

[Jairus]

Just make sure that the arena is only a little bit above the abandoned mine.

Yeah. If you're throwing things into it, you might as well make sure it's good and close. ;-]

I will keep this and previous (and subsequent) advice in mind over the weekend as I draw this thing. It actually might end up as an actual map of the Clockwork Mansion (I'm thinking Clockwork Town, led by Lady Damaris and Dame Williams and Sir N'n'daCorna and the rest of the mods) before I draw a perspective image. We'll see.

[Jairus]

Okay, first concept for a map of Clockwork...

Township of Clockwork, map concept 1

Um, do a full look so you can read the location labels.

Okay, how's that? If I missed any of the moderators down there at the bottom, I apologize: point it out and I will fix it immediately. Also, if you can't read my notes at the top, the compass when done will look like six gears piled on top of each other and running off of one another. Any ideas for moving buildings and locations? Remember, this is just a concept before I start inking and fixing my mistakes.

EDIT: Added Zina's name. Forgive me!

EDIT 2: Added the subforums.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Erm. If you want a list of the mods, have a look at the rules page.

You missed one.

Edit:

Also, you appear to be skipping the sub-boards. Deliberate choice on your part? Or just an oversight?

[VSMIT]

You left out Zina!  You monster!

Other than that, it's really good.  I like how everything kind of fits together.

Merchant's Corner?

[Jairus]

Erm. If you want a list of the mods, have a look at the rules page.

You missed one.

Zina. Crap. I'll fix that. Give me five minutes. Any other comments?

You left out Zina!  You monster!

Fixing!

Other than that, it's really good.  I like how everything kind of fits together.

Merchant's Corner?

Outside the inner side of the castle, between the Outer Fortress and the Village Square, which is where merchants would set up their shops: travelers would have to pass them to get to the rest of the town.

[VSMIT]

Oh.  I didn't see it there.  Cool.

[Ren Gaulen]

That's a really nice map, and I believe that you'll be able to make a picture of the Clockwork Town too. However, this has to be done. I hope you know what it originated from.

[Jairus]

That's a really nice map, and I believe that you'll be able to make a picture of the Clockwork Town too.

Picture?
...
Oh, right. Forgot about that.

However, this has to be done. I hope you know what it originated from.

Well, that looks like Peach or whatever her name was from Mario, but aside from that, no idea.

[Jairus]

Also, you appear to be skipping the sub-boards. Deliberate choice on your part? Or just an oversight?

An oversight on my part. I'll see what I can do, okay?

EDIT: If I retitle the "maps+message board" The Info Kiosk, will that count as one of them? As for the Long Library, I can imagine it being either what is currently The Treasury (I'd just draw a new wing at the back of the Mansion) or draw a new building next to the Half Moon Theatre or the Tower of Art.

EDIT 2: The map has been fixed... and I combined the "Arena" and the "Colosseum" into one area called the Colosseum Arena. I had no idea how else to pull it off. So, how's it look now? Incidentally, I think the viewpoint I'm going to go for is over the lake, so that I can catch most - if not all - of the buildings.

[Cogidubnus]

This is actually very well done. You're doing quite well with this cartography-blueprint sort of thing. The subject is also very amusing and very nice. I like your interpretation of where everything fits and how everything here would work, were it actually a township of some medieval, Arthurian land. - The Castle Keep in front, the info kiosk right there where one can easily find it - most of the landmarks are put together in a way that betokens forethought and cleverness.

Is very nice, sir. I like it lots.

[Jairus]

Thanks. Hm, maybe after I'm done with this I should work on Crater Lake, which I think might be just a modified version of the Clockwork Town map, with the exception that I build up the streets and houses a little bit and turn the mansion into the Academy. Or I'll just start from scratch on the Crater Lake Town map, and see where it goes.

I think that the Mansion is on a slight hill, but I'm not sure. It is in the original drawing.


EDIT: I forgot to post this yesterday. I wrote this during my "Women in Literature" final exam... which probably explains why I only get C's and B's most of the time. Anyway.

In death, all becomes
Equal. This is the way of
Life, and what happens.

[Jairus]

Remember how I said "No more song parodies?"

Well, I lied.

I present Jyrras singing "Two Perfect Guys," set to the tune of "Two Perfect Girls" from Pokémon (one of Brock's image songs, if you don't remember.) Brain bleach set? Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin.

And yes, it doesn't fit the original song perfectly. I had to fudge a few things. Obviously.

"Two Perfect Guys"

A one-cubi man's what I wanna be!
Stay by his side soooo faithfully!
I would if I could...
But it's just no good...
Cuz there's two perfect guys for meee...
Hahaha! Alright!

Abel! Oh Abel!
Dan! Oh Dan!
A one-Cubi man's what I wanna be!
But there's two perfect guys for me!

Oh yeah!

Incubus Abel!
Oh can't you tell!
You've got my mind wrapped up in your spell!
Abel! If my love means I'm not well!
Then take me now and let me yell!
Your cute little butt is simply the best!
And you're presence here has just left me stressed!
But before I up and join your clan...

I'm head over heels!
He's head over heels...
Head over heels for a boy named...
Dan!

Woo!
Abel! Oh Abel!
Dan! Oh Dan!
A one-Cubi man's what I wanna be!
But there's two perfect guys for me!

All Right!

Oh Dan!
Can't you please!
Kill this demon with such great ease!
Oh Dan!
An adventurer's what I need!
When I see your face...
I just want to plead!
That you'd take me away!
Past the beasts and far away!
A hero's sword and a lover's heart,
Oh why oh why can't our love just start!

So why am I in love?
Why is he so in love?
Why am I in love?
With wonderful Abel!

Yeah!
Abel! Oh Abel!
Dan! Oh Dan!
A one-Cubi man's what I wanna be!
But there's two perfect guys for me!
Hahahaha! Alright! Swing it!

Woo!
A one-cubi man's what I wanna be!
But there's two perfect guys for meeeee...

Oh! I've tried... and I've tried...
And I've searched way deep inside...
From these two, I won't choose...
I can't stand the bad news...
About the name of the guy that I'm gonna lose!

This can't go on! Enough is enough!
I've gotta pick one, no matter how tough!
It's time for eenie-meenie-minie-moe!
But wait a second!

Wait a second!
Wait a second!
Com'on and wait a second!
What's her name?

(sees Kria)

I've just gotta know!
I've just gotta know!

Oh Abel! Oh Abel!
Dan! Oh Dan!
A one-cubi man's what I wanna be!
But there's one, no two!
These two perfect wonderful guys!
Two perfect guys for mee-eeeee!
Alright!

...

I'm going straight to hell, aren't I?

Hope you liked it! If I do another one, it'll be a Jarras (Janus Bond and Doctor Jyrras). That's a big if, though... especially since every time I post one of these I probably cause someone brain damage.


Haiku time!

I said I wouldn't,
And yet I did. Why do these
Songs appeal me so?

A rose in bloom, so
Pretty, and yet it's crushed by
The big orange truck.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I could point out that you're missing one of the forums, but you're not allowed to know that it exists, so...


;-]

[Ren Gaulen]

*listens to his song* Never before was I so delighted and wanted to stab myself in the ears with knives (or, rather, claw out my eyes) at the same time so much! ..Nah, I'm lying. That's not so bad. You should actually make more of these parodies, Jay.

[Jairus]

That's not so bad. You should actually make more of these parodies, Jay.

Consider it done.

This is less modified than the last three, but it doesn't really need much. This is based off of "Home" from Beauty and the Beast Broadway, and it's sung by Belle after she trades her for her father. I feel that it fits Abel's situation after Aniz leaves him at SAIA quite well.

"Home"

Yes, I've made my choice.
For mother, I will stay.
But I don't deserve to lose my freedom in this way,
You monster!
If you think that what you've done is right, well then
You're a fool!
Think again!
Is this home?
Is this where I should learn to be happy?
Never dreamed
That a home could be so loud and bold.
I was told.
Ev'ry day of my childhood:
Even when you've grown old
Home should be where the heart is.
Never were your words so true!
My heart's so far, so far away.
And home is too.
Is this home?
Is this school what I must learn to believe in?
Try to find,
Something good in this brand new place,
Just in case.
I should stay here forever,
Held in this unknown place.
Oh, that won't be easy,
I know the reason why.
My heart's so far, so far way.
Home's the same.
What I'd give to return
To the life that I've now lost.
But I know now I can't.
All my problems staying here.
Is this home?
Am I here for a day or forever,
Shut away
From the world until who knows when?
Oh, but since
My lfe has been changed forever once,
It can change again.
Build higher walls around me.
Change ev'ry lock and key.
Nothing lasts, nothing holds
All of me.
My heart's so far, so far way.
Home and free!

Fa'Lina:
Cheer up, Abel.
It will turn out al'right in the end, you'll see.
I hope that we'll be friends
Though I don't know you well.
If anyone can make the most living here,
Abel, it's you.
And who knows?
You may find
Home here, too!

So, just a few words changed around, some names and events slipped in. Nothing too brain bleach worthy here Next it's either a JaRras (Janus Bond and Doctor Jyrras) or one from just Jyrras. Maybe a Dan-centric one.

[Ren Gaulen]

Good work. Now do that JaRras one. *cracks a whip*

[Jairus]

Good work. Now do that JaRras one. *cracks a whip*

Well, I have currently have 4561 songs on my computer, so I'm currently looking for something. I have currently pruned my selection of parody-worthy songs down to 3200, and shall continue working. In the meantime, glad you liked it.

Am I the only one a little weirded out by the fact that the portmanteau couple name I came up with for those two is close to my own screen name?

[Ren Gaulen]

Am I the only one a little weirded out by the fact that the portmanteau couple name I came up with for those two is close to my own screen name?

Heeeeeeeee-y!... It all makes sense now!! ..Now get back to work. *cracks a whip again*

[Jairus]

Am I the only one a little weirded out by the fact that the portmanteau couple name I came up with for those two is close to my own screen name?

Heeeeeeeee-y!... It all makes sense now!!

Don't think about it too much... or else you'll look like this guy.

..Now get back to work. *cracks a whip again*

I know I promised Ren that I'd do a JaRras one next, but I saw this song in my collection and it's just too perfect not to do right now. Sorry Ren, maybe this will make up for it. The song is "That's How You Know" from Disney's Enchanted (there's the link if you haven't seen it), and in the song is sung by Mab and the people of Lost Lake. Why Mab? She's a fairy, and would probably be the only character insane enough to actually do a crowd song using her magic. Also, Ariel in my setting is wont to doing stuff like this (breaking into song and leading the people of Crater Lake in a perfectly choreographed song and dance sequence without prior warning or rehearsal), so consider this a crossover.

And yes, Jyrras cannot understand why everyone is breaking into song, despite the fact that he has so far done so twice. And there is a simple explanation for this divergence from previous reality: it's funnier this way. And obviously they are singing about Abel.

"That's How You Know"

Mab:
How does he know you love him?

Jyrras:
Ah ha ha, no.

Mab:
How does he know he's yours?

Jyrras:
Mab, people are looking. Don't sing, it's okay. You know what, let's just walk. Can we walk, okay?

Mab:
Well, does he?

Jyrras:
I don't know.

Dan:
How does he know that you love him?

Jyrras: (said over the next few lines)
You know this song too? I've never heard this song... alright, really nice work, alright that's it. Good, okay, let's go.

Mab:
How do you show him you love him?

Dan and Mab:
How does he know that you really, really, truely love him?
How does he know that you love him?
How do you show him you love him?
How does he know that you really, really, truely love him?

Mab:
It's not enough to take the one you love for granted
You must remind him, or he'll be inclined to say...
"How do I know he loves me?"
(Dan: How does he know that you love him?
How do you show him you love him?)
"How do I know he's mine?"
(Dan: How does he know that you really, really, truely love him?)

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey? Heyy!
He'll find a new way to show you, a little bit everyday
That's how you know, that's how you know!
He's your love...

See?

Jyrras:
I've seen quite enough. Let's go.

Mab:
*sharply inhales* Ooh, a ball!

Jyrras:
Yeah.

Mab:
Oh, that would be fun!

Jyrras:
No that would not be fun!

Dan:
You've got to show him you need him
Don't treat him like he's absorbed in!
Each day do something to need him
To believe you love him!

Mab:
Everybody wants to live happily ever after
Everybody wants to know their true love is true...
How do you know he loves you?
(Dan: How does he know that you love him?
How do you show him you need him?)
How do you know he's yours?
(How does he know that you really, really, truely-)

Well does he take you out dancin' just so he can hold you close?

Jyrras:
I don't dance.

Mab:
Dedicate a song with words in
Just for you? Ohhh!

Jyrras:
And I really don't sing.

All:
He'll find his own way to tell you
With the little things he'll do

Mab and Matilda:
That's how you know

All:
That's how you know!

Mab:
He's your love
He's your love...

-somewhere else in the area of Lost Lake...-

Kria
Jyrras?
I've been dreaming...
-gets run over by Lorenda in her carriage from Comic 775-


All
That's how you know
(la la la la la la la la)
He loves you
(la la la la la la la la)
That's how you know
(la la la la la la la la)
It's true
(la la la la la)

Mab
Because he'll wear your favorite color
Just so he can match your eyes
Rent a private picnic
By the fires glow-oohh!

Mab and All
His heart will be yours forever
Something everyday will show
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know!

Mab:
He's your love...

Dan:
That's how he knows that you love him
That's how you show him you love him.

Mab:
That's how you know...
(Dan: You've got to show him you need him
Don't treat him like he's absorbed in!)
That's how you know...
(All: That's how you that you love him,
That's how he knows that you love him!
It's not enough to take the one you love for granted)
He's your love...

Voila. Next one should be Jarras (Janus Bond and Doctor Jyrras). Enjoy!

EDIT: Fixed a few errors that crept through

[Cogidubnus]

I keep imagining this sung in a Gospel style.

It's amazing.

[Ren Gaulen]

*in Palpatine's voice* Good, good! The Farce is strong with you, young Jairus!

Seriously, it was nice. And I can actually see Mab singing it. Not Dan, though.

[Jairus]

Yeah, well, I figured that Dan could do something. I did like placing Kria in the Prince's place... mweeheehee. I'm glad you both liked it.

Anyway, I've figured out what song I'll do for my Jarras version, and I'll do it after I get my haircut. Yes, I'm getting a haircut. It's been two months or so since the last one.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I think it's a bit off to have Lorenda run over her mother, myself...

[Ren Gaulen]

I think it's a bit off to have Lorenda run over her mother, myself...

It was obviously an accident. And Kria's fault to boot.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I think it's a bit off to have Lorenda run over her mother, myself...

It was obviously an accident. And Kria's fault to boot.

Oh, of course.

[Jairus]

I think it's a bit off to have Lorenda run over her mother, myself...

It was obviously an accident. And Kria's fault to boot.

Oh, of course.

The correct answer is yes, it was an accident. And Kria was also at fault because she shouldn't have tried to start singing another song inside Mab's: that's just rude. The second part of the answer is that in the movie, the Prince gets run over by some cyclists, and I wanted to recreate that, but at the time I was writing it I couldn't recall any other ground vehicles that could be used for that scene.

Working on the next one... Jarras this time, I promise!

[Jairus]

Yay! It's the Jarras one! For those who don't know what "Jarras" is, it is the Portmanteau Couple Name to describe the pairing of Janus Bond and Doctor Jyrras. I don't care if I'm the only one who uses it, it's the portmanteau couple name. Anyhoo... Here's the Jarras song! Also known as "Nobody Else But You," adapted from the song of the same name from A Goofy Movie. Yes, I bastardized a Disney song about the platonic love between a father and his son into a song about the love between a secret agent and an evil genius. I have no shame.

Listen to the song as it goes along, it'll help you catch the beat. Or scar you forever. One of the two, I forget which. Anyway, just the names changed and a few words changed, but still...

"Nobody Else But You"

Jyrras
There are times you drive me, shall we say, bananas
And your mind is missin', no offense, a screw

Janus
None taken.

Jyrras
Still, whatever mess I land in
Who is always understandin'?
No body else but you.

Janus
Oh, your madness is now and then, bewilderin'.
And your values may be, so to speak, askew.

Jyrras
Gesundheit.

Janus
Thanks.
Who deserves a hero's trophy as we face each cat-a-strofee?
Nobody else but you

Both
Nobody else but you...
It's just our luck
We're stuck together.
Nobody else but you
Is crazy enough to believe we'll come through.

Jyrras
So your clothes are all, let's face it, reject stock.

Janus
And your death rays frighten other nations.

Both
But when life becomes distressin'
Who'll I be S.O.S'in?

Jyrras
If you're having trouble guessing, here's a clue
Though he seems conflaberated,
He's just highly animated!
And he's nobody else but

Both
Nobody else but you
We've turned into a true-blue duo
Hard times, we've had a few

Janus
Like you're thrown in the clink

Jyrras
Like we've blown up the town!

Both
But when I start to sink, than I'd rather go down
With nobody else but
Y-O-U!

*SMOOCH*

Jyrras
Ah, Bond!

There. My third session of mind scarring for the day. I have at least one more in mind... but I've got such a large collection I could do this for quite a while. I think that three is enough, don't you? Any ideas for the next topic?

PS: Incidentally, I've got an idea for a video, and I don't know if I have a video maker (like Windows Movie Maker). Any suggestions for a Mac... never mind, I have iMovie. Time to fiddle!