[Art/Writing] Jairus: Merry Christmas

[Jairus]

You know, re-reading all that to identify where you changed one word is very annoying, Jubblies.

Just FYI...

Apologies. Would you rather I just made a post with a correction?

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

It'd make things better, I think. Certainly it'd mean not re-reading lots of the same data again, trying to remember what was there previously...


Of course, it's your thread. You can do what you like. *grin*

[Jairus]

It'd make things better, I think. Certainly it'd mean not re-reading lots of the same data again, trying to remember what was there previously...


Of course, it's your thread. You can do what you like. *grin*

"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" sort of deal? Fair enough.

For the record, I altered a few things regarding Eisensoldats, mentioning that frequent memory wipes are used because even though they become a lot more effective the more they remember and know, their emerging personalities have a tendency to slowly drive them nuts. It's a very rare occasion when an Eisensoldat emerges with a personality of its own and remains stable... well, as stable as a normal person is, anyway. However, I also talked about how those memories are saved in a sort of "read only" file, so the unit can still call on past knowledge but it lacks the immediacy for a personality to develop.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" sort of deal? Fair enough.

No, not at all. I meant that I was merely suggesting as a friend - as distinct from laying down the law as a moderator.

Honestly, do what you like. I just thought you might like to know some of the issues I'd run across as a reader when ploughing through large posts, is all.

[Jairus]

Oh, how bored must I
Be that I would write haiku
For this lonely thread.

Or how about some
Random thoughts. I'll just see where
They take me right now.

"Wolf"
The icy wind cuts like a blade,
And howls throughout the valley's length.
No snow shall fall this winter's night,
As moon shines on this frozen land.
Within the trees, a silent glade,
Where gray wolf stands with graceful strength.
His fur shows marks of long gone fights,
Scars stand out like burned in brands.
And from this land he's meant to fade,
He's wandered far o'er land's full breadth,
And now he'll sleep 'neath full moon's light,
But 'fore he sleeps, this final stand.
A howling cry answers the wind,
And faithful winds reply in kind.

Well, that was strange. I
Should write more of it, but I
Am tired. Good night!

EDIT:
A frozen blade is
Not very comfortable.
Ouch, I've got blisters.

Magical swords are
All the rage, but the damned things
Won't shut the hell up!

If you are going
To break the rules, then do so
Quiet thoroughly.

Magic is a tool,
Not an answer. You can't just
Wave a magic wand.

[Gabi]

Well, "Wolf" is not a haiku, but it's a very nice poem.

[Ren Gaulen]

An awesome poem, bro. Great work. You create quite powerful imagery.

And the haiku are funny.

[Jairus]

Well, "Wolf" is not a haiku, but it's a very nice poem.

Thanks, Gabi. Glad you enjoyed it.

An awesome poem, bro. Great work. You create quite powerful imagery.

And the haiku are funny.

Funny? My Haiku are
Not funny. They are silly.
Big diff'rence. Kumquat.

Haiku are so fun.
But also so easy. Hm.
Perhaps I should knit?

Oh, and inspired by Pagan's little greeting of "Welcome to the Mansion" for the newbies over in the Villa, I present to you a little extra...

"Welcome to the Mansion"
We welcome you, new person here,
To Clockwork Mansion's forum.
You'll not get lots of nifty gear
Or swag when to this place you come.
Instead, we offer lots of fun,
And crazies up to our necklines.
And when all has been said and done,
You'll fit right in, whate'er your kind.
The mods are nice, the people great,
And though we've got our foibles,
You'll learn them all, or most, I'll state,
But never fear, I'll ne'er spoil.
Your stay here has but just begun!
Oh, and Welcome to the Mansion.

Sorry, had to force it a little. It might work better in pentameter, but I'll try that later.

[Pagan]

Hehe, very nice, Brother. Though a little too cheerful and inviting for me. Whenever I used that line, I always imagined a creepy butler which would disturb visitors.
Still, pretty cool.

[Jairus]

Hehe, very nice, Brother. Though a little too cheerful and inviting for me. Whenever I used that line, I always imagined a creepy butler which would disturb visitors.
Still, pretty cool.

I shall solve this problem... tomorrow.

"Ignore the screams and horrid cries:
To do so, sir, would be quite wise."

[Jairus]

Just a random thought I had for a series of Haiku...

"978"
Tentacles claw at
The unyielding door. His foe
Is beyond his reach.

Yes. A haiku for each new DMFA and Abel's Story update. I am weird.


A battle betwixt
Two eternal foes. Would you
Pass the popcorn, please?

[Jairus]

"979"
Behind these doors lies
Foe's own body. Shall it rise?
Only time will tell.

Canadiacti!
The Canadian catci!
Beware it! Beware!

EDIT: And because I promised Pagan...

"Welcome to the Mansion, The Slightly Creepy Version"

Enter, now: please do not dawdle.
Through the doors into the forum.
Expect not a hug or coddle,
For it's not our fault you've come.
Beware the mods, for they see all.
Those who advise, oh, trust them not.
And evil hides in shadowed halls.
Keep quiet now, obey the rules,
Ignore the screams and horrid cries.
And know your place, or we'll be cruel.
To do these things would be quite wise.
Your stay here has but just begun.
Oh, and Welcome to the Mansion.

I'll fix it later.

[Pagan]

Very nice, Brother.

[GabrielsThoughts]

all hail the bard of furrae... making use of Amber's hidden cameras to tell the tale with bluster an whimsy.

[Jairus]

all hail the bard of furrae... making use of Amber's hidden cameras to tell the tale with bluster an whimsy.

"Bard of Furrae?" I think I'll have to write the romantic comedy Jyrras and Abel before I can be properly called that. And The Adventurer of Lost Lake. Maybe Aniz. Or A Midsummer Night's Muffin!

...
I'll stop now.

The red squirrel runs down the tree.
He stands right there, and looks at me.
I do not move, for fear he'd run.
But he goes on, the moment's done.

Why yes, that was quick.
And short. And stupid. I know.
Please stop judging me.

The cake is a lie.
It's actually a pie.
The cake is a pie.

Not my idea, I read "The Cake is a Pie" and had to write a haiku about it... actually...

The Rat Man said that the cake was a lie,
No matter how long old GLaDOS would cry.
Well, it turned out he's right,
Some new stuff's come to light.
And now we all know that the cake is a pie.

Why did I just write that? I don't know.


It seemed the simplest thing in the world. A wonder that nobody else could hear it. A quick deep breath, and he dived right in, past thought, past mind, past everything else.

Okay, I don't know where that's going. Something about the "heartbeat of the world." Can't write it right now.

[Jairus]

I need a better system for naming my haiku for Abel's story.

"Abel, 2-47"
Son of a student,
Now comes to the school. What shall
Start from this meeting?

Does she desire
Revenge on one who fell? Or
Something else or more?

Also, I have worked up the basic plot of A Midsummer Night's Muffin, which just proves how weird I am...

Alexsi and Pyroduck are attempting to put on a Midsummer party. Mab, Pip, Merlitz, and Wildy decide to put on a show based on the adventures of Janus Bond called "The Man with the Golden Muffin", and retreat to the recently regrown woods to practice. Albanion and Nutmeg are having a row because Nutmeg is afraid that Albanion will drop their baby, causing Albanion to recruit Azlan to find a love potion so that Albanion can play a trick on Nutmeg. The two couples for the play are Jyrras and Abel and Dan and Matilda, who end up also going into the woods to have a long and engrossing talk. Thanks to Azlan and Albanion's interference, Dan ends up falling in love with Jyrras and Abel falls in love with Matilda, while Jyrras is still pursuing Abel and Matilda is going after Dan, and Jyrras knows that something is screwed up because Dan isn't gay and Matilda is confused because she'd pegged Abel as having a crush on Jyrras. Meanwhile, Kria and Lorenda are having a mother/daughter walk in the forest, and thanks (again) to Azlan we end up with Jyrras falling madly in love with Kria and Matilda falling madly in love with Lorenda. And Azlan decides to get back at Wildy for the whole "slave for a week thing" (because he's a Fae and contradictory like that), leading to Wildy having the head of a girl scout that Nutmeg (thanks to Azlan) falls in love with...

But it all works out in the end, and we have a happy ending with the couples spending the night under the midsummer night's moon, and Albanion dispenses his curse of a long and healthy life to Jyrras (who secretly likes calling in sick so that he can riff over really bad movies)! The end!


*phew* Okay, that was really stupid. To make up for it...

A flash of steel, the blossom falls.
The swordsman's hand flies swift and true.
The rose's scent to true love calls,
Under the sky of midnight blue.

There, feel better?

[GabrielsThoughts]

sounds like fanfiction... and if you really want to make peoples heads explode, you should set it up so it's the story of you or  your avatar collaborating with Darkmoon to write a story about  Amber, who's  writing about Mab,  who's colaborating with Nutmeg and Charlene and Alondro, on a midsummer night's muffin, which is a story about Dan, Alexi and  the gang working together to produce  "man with the golden muffin"

and then.....at the very end......reveal that everything, the universe and everything was created by "FI!" and Dan or Alexi is looking at him funny while he's sitting in front of the computer screen giggling like an idiot.



trust me, you want peoples heads to explode. It's what I go for when I write/create stories.   

[Jairus]

sounds like fanfiction... and if you really want to make peoples heads explode, you should set it up so it's the story of you or  your avatar collaborating with Darkmoon to write a story about  Amber, who's  writing about Mab,  who's colaborating with Nutmeg and Charlene and Alondro, on a midsummer night's muffin, which is a story about Dan, Alexi and  the gang working together to produce  "man with the golden muffin"

and then.....at the very end......reveal that everything, the universe and everything was created by "FI!" and Dan or Alexi is looking at him funny while he's sitting in front of the computer screen giggling like an idiot.



trust me, you want peoples heads to explode. It's what I go for when I write/create stories.   

Fanfic works for me. I'm not out to make people's heads explode, and besides, having multiple layers like that just gets confusing. Though, now that I thik about it, Fluffy might make a better Puck character than Azlan... I'm not sure. And Amber is dressed like William Shakespeare.

"980"
A dark foe strides from
A darkened room. The loincloth
Ruins it a bit.

Oh, such a smug smirk!
It was so lovely to see
It leave us that fast.

So, what happens now?
A duel 'twixt two foes to death?
Maybe something else...

Destania sent
Dan to kill Aliph. Maybe
He's a threat to her.

Okay, how about a
Silly one now? Banana,
Banananana.

[Jairus]

"981"
One target knocked out,
The other still on his feet.
Dan's still got his head.

Aliph knew about
Destania. What else might
This demon know? Hm...

A titanic fight
Between these two foes. Who shall
win, and who shall fall?

The comic has no
Punchline, because Amber fails
At life. Not really.

Spring is in the air.
Blossoms bloom, and the rains come.
The springtime sun shines.

Also, Regina's still
Down. Yes! Down with the stuck-up
Spoiled demon girl!

I need to find a
Better silly word instead
Of that word "banana."

There is really not
Much more I can do with these
Haiku. Such is life.

But I shall keep on
Writing them, as they are such
A simple pleasure.

That means that you shall
All suffer from more of my
Haiku. Mwahaha!


...
In slightly more serious news, I'm currently thinking about writing something about Elian Cidney, Nick's former adventurer father. Or something about Joshua, but that is highly unlikely. We'll see what happens.

[Jairus]

"982"
Dan really does not
Know the limits of his new
Powers. Which sucks hard.

And dear old Aliph
Knows how to fight Cubi too.
Not a good combo.

I think that Dan will
Need a save. Lorenda, Fi,
Kria, Abel... who?

But on his shoulder,
What's that I see? A Cubi
Clan mark might just form.

And now for a bit of silliness inspired by Brunhidden... (thank you Brun!)

"Ode to a Donut"
Oh, glist'ning cake of deep-fried dough,
That I eat here to break my fast,
Just how I hate and love you so,
Because of how your fat e'er lasts.
Dipped in choc'late, glazed or sugar,
Whether plain or done with sprinkles,
Jelly filled and bit so eager,
With each bite your coating crinkles.
So many types and diff'rent shapes,
Old-fashioned, bars, and grizzly paws,
Spiral twists and Frenchman's crepes:
All these have passed 'tween eaters' jaws.
But there's but one that is my goal,
That donut is the Donut Hole.

There, silliness complete. Huzzah!

[Jairus]

"DMFA 983"
A critical blow,
But Dan's not out yet. A quick
Response, and he's back.

Stupid Aliph: you
Told Dan that his wings were the
Hardest part of him.

Meanwhile, mother
And daughter watch. Kria can
Often make me laugh.

The Lord of Lightning:
A hero beyond measure, who
Travels the whole world.

An inventor with
Enough guns for an army.
Clearly, he is smart.


Eh, I'll admit I'm a little bored, and will have no real incentive to post anything over the next two days. Anyone got any subject requests for haiku/poetry they'd like to see me write? I'll give it a shot if you do.

[Pagan]

Yes, I've got a request or two...
Something Jyrbel-y. The Clockwork Mansion (that township you drew up once, I mean). Oh, hehe, do a haiku about badfic.

[GabrielsThoughts]

if you were in the same room as Dan and the others this would be very annoying... and I mean that in the Repeat everything the computer says on galaxy quest and the guitarist in there's just something about Mary kind of way...


I mean the poetry is so good I am imagining you following Dan around in robin hood costume carrying a lute.

[Jairus]

if you were in the same room as Dan and the others this would be very annoying... and I mean that in the Repeat everything the computer says on galaxy quest and the guitarist in there's just something about Mary kind of way...


I mean the poetry is so good I am imagining you following Dan around in robin hood costume carrying a lute.

Bravely bold Sir Daniel, rode forth from Lost Lake Inn!
He was not afraid to die,
O brave Sir Daniel!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Daniel!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Daniel!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his penis split...

...

Sorry that it's annoying. I'll stop if that's the general consensus. Well, what can I say? I'm bored. Though I'd love to write something about Elian... I'll have to work something out at some point.

Yes, I've got a request or two...
Something Jyrbel-y. The Clockwork Mansion (that township you drew up once, I mean). Oh, hehe, do a haiku about badfic.

Wait, you mean this old thing? Dang, it has been a while since I looked at that. However...

"Badfic"
This fanfic pairing
Makes me weep. What is wrong with
These bloody fangirls?

The two boys hate each
Other. So why are they now
Banging? Argh. *facepalm*

Canon is no match
In the face of the yaoi
Fangirl. My fandom.


Jyrbel and Clockwork Mansion will have to wait a bit. Although...

"Clockwork Town"
I pass by walls of dusty stone,
Now warmed by rising sunlight's glow.
The mighty gates creak with a groan,
That speaks of ages long ago.
To Castle Keep I enter now,
A place where games are played and rule.
Where born from knights and sacred vows,
Come cyber stats and net-based duels.


Hm... it needs a little more work. And a four-line stanza for each section of the town. This might become my nightly ritual in place of those DMFA/Abel's Story haiku, if people don't like those.

[Jairus]

What can I say? Things got weird during a chat I had with Ren and Pagan, and resulted in this...

For those of you who don't know who Dr. Weird is, shame on you. (there are three links there)

"Gentlemen and LEEROY JENKINS, behold! Just as planned, I herd u liek my hair in ur internetz, bright slapping your base belong to us and making ur babby in SPARTA!!! Unlimited G ZA WAURDO Caramelldansen time paradox works!!!! It's over NINE THOUSAND additional pylons In America! Nazi science sneers as I take a GAR, and "BEFRIEND" IT!!!! Screw the rules, I have OBJECTION!!! Dramatic chipmunk is in your base CHARGIN MAH LAZER WHOOP barrel roll! The Companion Cube and Abel will make you gay! Ceiling cat is a lie, but ur doin it wrong!!!!!!"

[Ren Gaulen]

..Apparently, Leroy Jenkins was excluded from the gentlemen after that trick he pulled..

[Jairus]

..Apparently, Leroy Jenkins was excluded from the gentlemen after that trick he pulled..

That would be the "And Zoidberg" trope at work. So, yeah.

[Ren Gaulen]

Gentlemen, I like memes.

Gentlemen, I love memes.

I like new memes. I like old memes. I like overused memes. I like obscure memes.
I like Sparta. I like Mudkips. I like Longcat. I like Caramelldansen.
On 4chan. On FurAffinity. On YouTube. In Clockwork Mansion. At home. At the University. In the street. With my friends. With my foes.

I love every aspect of memes that take place on the Internet.

I like blowing away the enemy with a thunderous roar of my lazor. When the enemy runs in terror as my lasor is being charged, my heart dances.
I like crushing my foe with a road roller. When I stopped the time with ZA WARUDO, my heart leapt.
Seeing Leeroy Jenkins running to his doom and dooming his comrades along with him was unendurably exciting. Seeing them all being torn apart by dosens of dragons as Leroy talked about his fried chicken was spectacular.
I like when my opponent's power level gets over nine thousand. Being crushed by a Falcon Punch and and having to crawl around on the ground like a pesky insect is the ultimate disgrace.

Gentlemen.. I desire a meme that is like hell.
Gentlemen, my companions in the battalion, who follow me...Gentlemen, what do you desire?
Do you desire meme as well? Do you desire a meme of no mercy?
Do you desire a meme that stretches the limits of forums, image boards, galleries, and people themselves to the limit, one that will kill all the trolls on this planet?

...

Very well. Then we shall have a meme.

Here we go...

Gentlemen.

..With apologies to Kouta Hirano for mangling Major's speech.

[GabrielsThoughts]

you like meme's do you.... have you read my web comic Let's Scare Melissa and Project one from outer space is full of them. But can you spot them all? -

mu hu wah ha ha ha ha !

[Jairus]

I might be crazy. Picture the following, if you will...


An army of hot-blooded badass-longcoat wearing undead demon robot pirate ninja penguin-monkey orks with laser chainsaw katanas and sunglasses! Riding winged motorcycles shaped like beetles painted red with smiley faces painted on the front and armed with gatling guns. And the motorcycles are on fire! But the penguins don't get burned because their hearts burn hotter!

And their enemies, the totally cool-headed cyborg angel samurai cowboy sea leopard elves with revolver railguns that shoot blessed silver stakes and also wear badass longcoats and sunglasses! And they ride into battle on giant armoured polar bears composed entirely of nanomachines, armed with flame throwers and axe launchers, and are surrounded by lightning and can fly through the power of electromagnetism!


...
Why yes, I do believe that I am crazy.


"Abel Part 2, 49"
Betrayed by a
Former student, the teacher
Plots out her revenge.

She will destroy him,
Mind, body, and soul. And she would
Like his son to join.

If that's not what the
Son desires, then he must
Stand out of her way.

There, hopefully that makes up for the nuttiness. It won't, but I can dream.