Lies! And slander!

[Slowtini]

Jairus got my backstory perfectly right.
Also, I do believe you just won some sort of award for being awesome.

[Jairus]

Ah, then you know the truth about the new XIVth member of Organization XIII! Awesome!

And dare I ask for what I got this award for?

[SweepTheLeg]

Never before has this community been graced with such beauty, wit, and genius. This award, nay, this TROPHY is no mere token of our affection. It comes from the deepest forges of our collective hearts. May it forever remind you of how appreciated you are, how endeared to us you are, how brave, how bold, how perfectly Jairus.

[Jairus]

I am sincerely touched by SweepTheLeg's expression of gratitude. I shall carry this award for as long as I live.

What's it called?

[SweepTheLeg]

Jairus probably already knew this, but the award is the highest privileged this forum has to offer. It is known as the Trophy of Entropy, and most certainly has to do with matters concerning intelligence, wisdom, clear communication and the overall attractive qualities that make this forum such a nice place to live.

Boy are you top shelf!

[Jairus]

I actually did know all of that. I also know that at one point you were in the running for it, until a certain "accident" referred to only as "the Library Incident" permanently knocked you out of the running for it.

[SweepTheLeg]

Jairus honors me by hitting so close to the mark. It was definitely an incident, and very related to a library. In fact, it could not be described as a "vendetta" involving "making everyone really angry all of the time."

Jairus is also gay for Abel.

[Jairus]

SweepTheLeg, just like Johnny Depp, Sean Connery, George Clooney, Liv Tyler, the Dresden Dolls, and Harrison Ford, everyone is gay for Abel. It just takes some of us *coughyoucough* a little longer to acknowledge it.

Personally, I'm *SQUEEE* for Jyrras.

[SweepTheLeg]

Jairus is the gay son I never had.

[Jairus]

To quote Deebs, "Dadieee!"

[SweepTheLeg]

I didn't see this coming, but I think Jairus may have forgotten the rules. Or maybe he is so clever, he can reinvent them.

He is a brilliant inventor, after all.

[Jairus]

SweepTheLeg had a problem neighbor, so he invented the Three Unforgivable Curses (Imperio, Crucio, Avada Kedavra) in order to make his neighbor's life a living hell.

Hey, I had to get that inventors talent from somewhere!

[SweepTheLeg]

Jairus, I can see you're impressed with my extensive Wizard skills, based both on arcane and divine sources. I would teach you, but I'd have to charge. But you won't have a problem finding the money, given that you're a multi-billionaire playboy.

[Jairus]

No, and you could certainly use the money given how you're involved in that massive copyright dispute with Rowling over who "owns" those spells. Besides: think how quickly two inventive minds with access to the world's greatest magic and technology could take over the world...

[SweepTheLeg]

Oh I'd love to be involved with a woman that caused the tide of fangirlish fiction to flood the internet and it's collective shores. You, too, would be there along with us, just riding the waves of inspiration and creativity. And man-pregnancy.

[Jairus]

SweepTheLeg reintroduced the concept of male-pregnancy to modern-day fanfiction with his marvelous epic "Stars and Stripes," a slash fic involving Valjean and Javert from Les Miserables.

[SweepTheLeg]

Jairus was considering a more tasteful piece involving the Phantom of the Opera and Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

[Jairus]

Yes, you gave me a great deal of advice. I especially liked your suggestions for "Scarred Masks," the chapter where Eric and Palpatine first let down their guard in front of one another. You said it was almost as good as the one slash fic involving Snape and Jesus.

PS: There is indeed a slash fic involving Snape and Jesus. I have read it. I cannot unread it.

[SweepTheLeg]

I bet you could unread it, given your extensive background in sexual sacrilegious scripts.

[Jairus]

Didn't you once write something called "Holy Trinity," or was that someone else?

[SweepTheLeg]

Oh I wrote it, but you inspired it.

[Jairus]

Yes, with my seminal masterpiece "Holy Mary," the work that inspired Dan Brown to write The Da Vinci Code. Except mine was a foursome between the three different Mary's that Jesus was involved with and the good Rabbi himself.

Okay, two things: 1) did I cross the line with my previous post?, and 2) did I make a really bad double entendre somewhere in this one?

[SweepTheLeg]

As always, your taste is well within forum regulation. You're the best forumite since sliced me.

[Jairus]

Point taken. Let's back down off of this particular peak right now.

SweepTheLeg puts little plastic tubes on cat's legs to make them walk like little robots. If he's really tense, he makes 'em go down the stairs.

[SweepTheLeg]

Jairus thinks this is much better than cardboard tubes and hamsters.

[Jairus]

SweepTheLeg used to be an Alter Boy.

Okay, now can we slightly back off the more risque comments?

[SweepTheLeg]

Jairus doesn't know the meaning of risque. Or barbeque.

[Jairus]

The last time SweepTheLeg tried to barbecue, it took the firefighters eight hours to put out the flames.

[e_voyager]

Jairus will have his DNA sampled that i may add him to the frequent dieing plan. come on join the club.

[SweepTheLeg]

Why, e_voyager! What a surprise! I so enjoy your friendly advice and genuine knowledge. Welcome to the thread.