Favorite Quotes!

[Kogitsune]

Now, 'cause I feel like it, I made this thread for all to post their favorite quotes! Meh, I thought it would be fun. Anyway,

"Martivir thric gixustratt tundar."-- Dungeons and Dragons, Draconomicon, the Book of Dragons

(yes, I play dungeons and dragons. Please don't criticize me for it.)

I will translate the quote if anyone needs it... But for now, I'd just like to see who knows what it means... 

[Kogitsune]

another quote!

"Jeez Pearson, why are you always in Mexico when I need you?!" -- Robert (friend of mine)

[Netrogo]

"He's a coffee boy at the daily planet. HE'S A COFFE BOY AT THE DAILY PLANET! WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING ON THE MOON???" - Superman is a Dick http://www.superdickery.com

[Zina]

another quote!

"Jeez Pearson, why are you always in Mexico when I need you?!" -- Robert (friend of mine)

Use the "modify" button to edit your posts to avoid double posting.

[Cogidubnus]

Use the "modify" button to edit your posts to avoid double posting.

Hey! I think you quoted Llearch!

[superluser]

[Thanatopsis] was written in 1817, when Bryant was 23. Had he died then, the world would have thought it had lost a great poet. But he lived on. -Bergen Evans

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. -Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

A little learning is a dangerous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring;
For shallow draughts intoxicate the brain
And drinking largely sobers us again. -Alexander Pope

And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains -Percy Bysshe Shelley

Use the "modify" button to edit your posts to avoid double posting. -Zina

Lord Uxbridge: By God, Sir. I've lost my leg.
Duke of Wellington: By God, Sir. So you have.

[Cogidubnus]

And all men kill the thing they love,
          By all let this be heard,
        Some do it with a bitter look,
          Some with a flattering word,
        The coward does it with a kiss,
          The brave man with a sword! - Oscar Wilde

[Shadrok]

"The die is cast." Julius Caesar

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

"You, sir, are drunk!"
"And you, madam, are ugly, but I'll be sober in the morning."

"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."

Lady Astor and Winston Churchill. They don't make 'em like they used to.

[Metal Juggernaut]

Hee...this one made me laugh

"Shut up and sit down you big balled f***"

and another

"Sweet mother of a sweaty penis,what have I done?!"

[Ryudo Lee]

Some of my favorite quotes from Jerome K. Jerome

"It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar."

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me; the idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart."

"One cannot enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do."

"But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses."

"It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so."

"The weather is like the government, always in the wrong."

"There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do."

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Hee...this one made me laugh

Do me a favour, MJ. Have a look at the rating on this particular board before you post again.

[Netrogo]

Some of my favourite Russel Peters lines about his dad and punishing kids.

"My Dad's theory was 'If I get rid of one I'll just make another one. Then I'll tell the new one what an idiot the last one was.'"

Next one's a bit long, hope I can quote it right....

"So I the next time my dad's about to beat me I decide to follow my buddy Ryan's advice, I turn to my dad and say 'Don't do it! I'll phone children's aide'... You ever had your parent's call your bluff? 'You'll do what?' 'I'll phone children's aide' 'Ohhhhh, brrrr well let me get you the phone tough guy.' 'W-what are you doing? If I call you'll get in trouble.' 'I might get into a little bit of trouble, but I know that it's going to take them twenty three minutes to get here. In that time SOMEBODY gonna get a hurt reeeeal baad.'"

[Metal Juggernaut]

Hee...this one made me laugh

Do me a favour, MJ. Have a look at the rating on this particular board before you post again.

Oops,I'm sorry guys I accidentaly looked over that

"Hey guys,what if red was new blue and black was the new pink,what would the new tan be?"

[techmaster-glitch]

FINALL! I've been waiting for someone to start a thread like this! Now I can quote whole conversations! Here we go!

COLONEL ALLOY: Hey Krunk, were you able to repair our mystery-bot here?
KRUNK: Of course I f***ing fixed him! He was a huge pain in the f***ing waist-pan, 'cuz he's some kinda coustom-jobbie! But nuthin' I couldn't handle. Some of his memory chip were fried, so we'll need a new data upload. But after that he should be as good as f***ing new!
COLONEL ALLOY: Hah, does his I.D. chip still function?
KRUNK: Yeah, says his name's "Gi-i-i-itch"
COLONEL ALLOY: Alright, glitch, welcome to the droid rebellion.

Dammit! the bell just rang. Gotta go!

[Arcalane]

Firefly quotes!

    *Horse-mounted bandits accost a Conestoga wagon-like raft, driven by Jayne and a hunched-over woman.*
    Bandit: "You gonna give us what's due us. And every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus."
    Jayne: "Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature."
    *The "woman" looks up — it's Mal in a dress.*
    Mal: "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?"
    Jayne: "If I could make you prettier I would!"
    Mal: "You are not the man I met a year ago!"
    *Mal and Jayne get the draw on the bandits.*
    Mal: "Now think real hard. You been bird-doggin' this township awhile now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now, you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you."

--

And a following scene;

    Inara: "So... explain to me again why Zoë wasn't in the dress?"
    Mal: "Tactics, woman. Needed her in the back. Besides, them soft cotton dresses feel kinda nice. There's a whole... airflow."
    Inara: "And you'd know that because...?"
    Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I am a mystery."
    Inara: "Best keep it that way. I withdraw the question."

--

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I still liked the big guy and the motor of the Firefly.

"Now, will -you- take this message back?"

[Angel]

YAY FIREFLY! But now, time for other TV shows, and my brothers too.

"Oh s***, there's a bike in my car!"
-My older brother


From an RP session with my friends (for those offended, I am sorry):
Scott: "Ivanna sees something shiny in the bushes. Being an elf, she's the first to notice it."
Me: "Oh, so the elves are Jewish now?" (slaps her hand over her mouth)
Everyone else:  (hysterical laughter)

(Note: At least three people there were Jewish, so it was acceptable.)

From TV/Movies:

"Why didn't you just drink the blood, you idiot!"
-Alucard berating Seras in Hellsing OVA I

(Hiro's about to teleport to Sylar, holding his sword)
Ando: Hiro?
(Hiro turns)
Ando (in Japanese): You look badass.
Hiro (in Japanese): Really?
- Heroes. Duh.

[Tapewolf]

The entire 'student bloopers' article is dead funny, but I think these about sum it up:


"[Abraham] Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands"

"Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead."

"Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large."

[techmaster-glitch]

Lesse, I'm back, and continuing the earlier quote:
After Glitch(you) gets a new data upload, (basicly just the backstory for Metal Arms) this next scene starts up, with Glitch awakening to an alarm that is sounding through the Droid compound:

P.A. ANNOUNCER: Attention! Attention! Mil Troops have broken through the mines! All Droids report to the command cenetr immediatly! Attention, Attention....
*Glitch walks through some corridors, camera changes to an assembly area, where Colonel Alloy is giving a speech*
COLONEL ALLOY: Alright, listen up! I need some badass can-lickers, front and center! The Mils have busted through to our side of the mines, and are about to march their rusted metal chassis into Droid Town.  Someones gotta go down there and seal those mines, pronto! So, where are my heroes? Which of you brave troopers is up to the task? *looks around*
*lights slowly turn on*
*there are only two droids*
COLONEL ALLOY: Your kiddin' me. You two are all that's left?
DROID: Uh, sir, yes sir. All the others are alrady out in the firefight sir, or the've been um...destroyed...
*Alloy smacks forhead*
*glitch walks in*
GLITCH: Yo, you got room for one more?
ALLOY: You got a screw loose, kid? What the hell do you know about fightin' Mils, newbie?
GLITCH: Nah, but you got any other options, chief?
ALLOY: Yeah, well... Learn fast or die tryin'.
Ok, *points to the two Droids* Stick with Hosed and Screwed here...(yeah, those are the actuall names of the droids, lmao)

Several levels later, you are chasing down a Mil Grunt who managed to get in and out of Droid Town without getting scrapped by you, and he is trying to rush back to a Mil Compound to transmit the location of your one safe haven to General Corrosive(the bad guy). After a racing level through the Wastelands on a R.A.T. (Rapid Armored Transport) You stop at a chasm with a small bridge that the Grunt, Vlax, is running across.

VLAX: You'll never catch me, you rust-busting rejects! Nyehahahahaha!
KRUNK: C'mon! We gotta keep after that rusty-nutted f***pile! Everyone out!
GLITCH: I can move faster on foot without you guys! Take he RAT around the far side of the chasm, and try and head him off at the pass.
KRUNK: 'Head him off at the pass'? Who the hell says that? Is he some sort of f***ing cowboy? *starts driving off with the RAT* You better be right aout this, screw-boy, because if you don't stop Vlax, I will personnaly weld your exhaust pipe to your ball bearing!!

[Kryptic]

Einstein wins.   

"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

"What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world."

"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."

"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours that's relativity."

"If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants."

[Fuyudenki]

"You have a zombie infested city, and you're worried about stuff inadvertently being set on fire? Man, I would love to have your worries. "
-Dr. B

"Looking for?  Screw that.  I was trying to make a big mess"
-Teekay Ahr

"Yeah, like it's my fault your hair's flammable?"
-Black Mage(8-Bit Theater)

...this is where I wish I had my quotes file from my Toshiba e330.  The screen died, and I haven't replaced it yet.  Maybe I can use my mom's PDA to copy everything over from my backup card.[edit]haha, dug up the file.

A lot of these aren't going to make bloody much sense.  The main thing you need to know is that Kurook is an orc, Kane is a werewolf, and bloody NOT the wrestler, and many, many entertainment franchises were butchered to create these quotes.

Logan: Project D?
Kane: Yeah, you know.  Successor to Project C, precursor to Project E...
Logan: Ah.  I've had problems with things that were 'Title-Letter.'  Department H, Weapon X...
Kane: better than 'Weapon-Why?' I hate pacifists.
Kurook: me too.

I'm going to be the first GM in the world to have to worry about what Heartless taste like.
-Nathan Hullcrew

Pegus: *being keelhauled along the ground* Thiiiiiiiiiiiiis suuuuuuuucks.
Kurook: *sees Tekkaman being all mopey.*  You know, it's hard to be cool and mopey when your robot's going like this.  *waves hands in air in imitation of Pegus*

Kurook: Bald!
Prof. Xaviar: Yes, I am bald.  People should not be so quick to judge those different from them, however.  For example: green.

Ios: He looks better with the hole.
Kane: How do you think he'd look in the belly of a big, green sea serpent?
Ios: That is cruel and inhumane!  What did that leviathan ever do to you?

me: I'm going in a zigzag pattern, with myhead kept low.
GM: as suspiciously as possible, then.  With your headlights on?
me: ABSOLUTELY!
(I do not remember this event.)

Galactic Guardsman: I need to see your identification.
Zebo Krug: I'm with the Bothan Spynet.  We don't have IDs.
GG: I have heard the Bothan Spynet use fake IDs.  Can i see your fake Identefication?
Zebo: you want to ID me by my fake ID.
GG: yes.
Zebo: *hands over his real identification* OK, here.  I'm currently posing as a bounty hunter.

Antony: I think dropping the ceiling on us was a bit aggressive!
Nick: did it hurt?
Antony: no, because I'm smarter than the ceiling!

Shaedok: so what do you think these droids are worth, anyway?
Zebo Krug: more than you!
Shaedok: Next time you say that, I'm going to leave you to the Force-Lightning-shooting creature.

Kurook: Teleport us back down.  And can you do something with this dead monkey?

[superluser]

If we're doing video game quotes, here are a couple of mine:

Love is a slippery sled that flips over and pins you to the slope.  And then, at night, the ice weasels come. -Bonn the Pirate (this is funny for other reasons)

So this is the power of the Granasaber... It fights evil and has plenty of leg room.

Please ignore these numbers and letters: 293ntg

[techmaster-glitch]

ROOT: Oh, stop quoting and give me something to shoot.
FOALY: Suit youself... *pulls what looks like a fake finger off the equipment rack*
ROOT: What's that?
FOALY: A finger. What does it look like?
ROOT: A finger...
FOALY: Yes, but it's no ordinary finger...*glances around, makes sure no one is watching* The tip contains a pressurized dart. One shot only. You tap the knuckle with your thumb and someone goes beddie-bye.
ROOT: Why haven't I seen this before?
FOALY: It's a covert kinda thing...
ROOT: And?
FOALY: Well, there have been accidents...
ROOT: Tell me, Foaly.
FOALY: Our agents keep forgetting they have it on.
ROOT: Meaning they shoot themselves.
FOALY: *nods miserably* One of our best sprites was picking his nose at the time. Three days on the critical conditions list.
-Artemis Fowl

[King Of Hearts]

"If I want to hear an ass, I'll fart."
-Madman

[gh0st]

"my mother never realised the irony in calling me a son of a b@#$h" unknown famouse dude

"i'm not suffering from insanity... i'm enjoying every minute of it"

[bill]

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat."

[Angel]

"When you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation."
-What's Her Face, Teen Girl Squad

"I fear that one day I will meet God, He'll sneeze, and I won't know what to say."
-Ronnie Shakes

"For the love of God, Montresor!"
"Yes... for the love of God!"
-The Cask of Amontillado

More later.

[TheGreyRonin]

 I have an entire chunk of a webpage devoted to interesting quotes. What to choose, what to choose...

"Life is pain, one long stretch of it, dotted with moments of pleasure and joy. The wise learn to ignore the pain, and string the dots together." - Stalker

"People who hang up on your answering machine without leaving any message-not even an apology for wasting your attention-are the most cowardly of pickpockets." - Long-Drink McConnigle

"Ask the next question. Keep on asking questions and don't stop, and sooner or later you'll be asking intelligent ones. If you live long enough." -Theodore Sturgeon

"Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor." - Lazarus Long

RADIATION EXPOSURE:
  Half a mile from Three-Mile plant during the flap.....................83 millirems
  At the power plant..............................................................1,100 millirems
  During heart catheterization for an angiogram.................45,000 millirems
   ...Which I underwent 18 months ago. I feel fine. - Robert A. Heinlein

"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of. But do it in private, and wash your hands afterward." - Woodrow W. Smith

"Wherever in the world you go....there you are." - Buckaroo Banzai

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

And I'll stop for now with my personal favorite:

"Whatever you've done, whatever you've been, is all, totally, one hundred percent, your own fault. All." - Dr. (colonel) Richard Colin Campbell Ames

[Unreliabel Dragon]

How bout 5 cross yo lip. Stanford

You could pick your nose and you could pick your friends but you cant pick your friends nose

Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer. Homer Simpson