Corrupt a Wish, Part Trois

[Ryudo Lee]

Here's how it works:
1. Someone makes a wish. Example: I wish I were not a Bishy Kitten

2. The person who replies, must corrupt that wish in some way. Example: You're not a Bishy Kitty! Primarily because you have just been assigned as the Deity of Cuteness

3. Then that person makes a wish to be corrupted.

Original thread is: HERE


Just one thing, you can only corrupt a wish that hasn't been corrupted.  So it helps if you quote the wish you are corrupting.

And so we begin!

<end edit by Damaris>


Granted, I "fixed" it, but you've been volunteered test it for me llearch.  C'mere, it'll only hurt for a second.

I wish I could be in a good mood more often, but not at times where being in a good mood would be socially unacceptable.

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted, you are in a good mood, except for times when being in a good mood would be socially unacceptable...now your just erotically horny at times when being in a good mood would be socially unacceptable.

I wish I could fly.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I wish I could fly.

Granted. Just sit down in this nice, comfy armchair. Yes, right here. No, don't worry. Here's your in-flight meal (popcorn) and your in-flight drink (open paper cup of coke), and your in-flight movie will be.. let me see... Oh, yes. "Learning to Fly". What's that? Catapult? Hah! Would I do that to you? Of course not!

... Now, a trebuchet, on the other hand... *twang!* Oh, too late. Never mind. Enjoy the flight. :-]


I wish I'd gone to bed hours ago.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but you woke up moments after falling asleep, so no help there.

I wish to have the most comfortable pair of shoes that never wear out, never get too small or too big, provides enough grip so that I will not slip 'n fall, never falls out of fashion, is always socially and workplace acceptable, never gets stolen or lost in some form or another, and that I have the only pair in existance.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Your feet are cold, though, since they have holes in them.


I wish I had more evil ideas...

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. Unfortunately, you grow a very long mustache and a goatee because of it. You are mocked by your peers for the unruly growth.

I wish I had a legal monopoly on cheese.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you now live in Wisconsin and own every cheese factory in the United States, Canada, Europe, Asia, Aulstrailia, and Antarctica. unfotunately you had a nasty accident with a meat slicer and now the crazy Howard Hughs  guy of the dairy industry.

I wish I had wings

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, they're tiny little gnats wings that constantly get crushed whenever you put on a shirt.

I wish I could fly like Superman, and that there would be no way to remove or weaken this ability.

[Angel]

Granted. Unfortunately, you are forced to fly upside-down. Gonna need to land a lot if you don't want blood rushing to your head.

I wish I had Saw II and could watch it right now, uninterrupted.

[GabrielsThoughts]

ok, granted. unfortunately in order to obtain your copy of saw II you had to watch 50 hours of sponge bob square pants. you could watch Saw II  uninterrupted if you had resisted the compulsion to jabbed forks in your eyes and hadn't knocked yourself senseless by beating your head against a wall..


I wish for an A on my English paper.

[e_voyager]

granted you now have 420 A on you English paper too bad they are all form your writing it. the paper it self only score a D

i wish i had less reason to be repressed on this day of all days.

[Zedd]

Granted now you depressed,so depressed your now taped to the ceiling by a large pair of bolts and large sheets of dalekenium so the only way if you get down if only luck might save you.

I wish some people wouldnt leave there phones on so much while in the movie theader in the seat behind me or front of me

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, now they take the people who they would normally talk to on the phone to the movies and just shout at each other obnoxiously during the movie.

I wish I could actually get a tan instead of getting horrible sunburns.

[e_voyager]

granted but you only tan if you stay out of the sun other wish it's vampire burn time.

i wish i had a job that gave me plenty of time to come here.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, now you're working with llearch as his own personal PFY.

I wish I could have a Ph.D. in something that'd actually be useful for the rest of my life.

[Angel]

Granted. You have a Ph.D in breathing. Excelsior!

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted, only not quite yet. Maybe tomorrow.


I wish I had more time with my wife.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted... unfortunately you now are your wife's twin sister and have no memory of ever being a cardboard box.


I wish I was the happiest man on earth.

[Boog]

Granted. The pleasure centers of your brain are stimulated to the point that you're unable to function properly. You have fun with all three days you have until that starts to be an issue.

I wish for a compendium of knowledge on that incomprehindible creature known as "girl".

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but when you try and read it you suffer a complete and total information overload, your brain completely shuts down and you become a vegetable for the rest of your life, or until the supreme court decides to pull your feeding tube... whichever comes first.

I wish to be psychic.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you are now psyduck a psychic pokemon...an completely incapable of putting two thoughts together, which ironically are mostly "psy" and "duck"


I wish for a cherry turnover.

[Valynth]

Granted, unfortunately it's in the middle of a cement cube of 100 yard dimensions.

I wish I had something to do down here in Alabama.

[Caswin]

I wish I had something to do down here in Alabama.

Have fun running from the zombie hordes.  Wait... no, they're that way, too.  Hm.  Well, at least you won't be bored for the rest of your life.

I wish I had Mow-level durability.

[Eibborn]

Bam, you're a mow.  I hope you enjoy all it entails. Your intelligence may take a slight dip.


I wish for a yellow umbrella. With ducks on it.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. The ducks leave a terrible mess on your coat.


I wish I were slightly more observant at times.

[Zedd]

Granted, Your are now blessed with many eyes on your body,All red and bloodshot and you cant even close them cause they contain no eyelids. Best luck keeping them all perfectly moisturized!

I wish Yogi bear would go away from my mind! His game on the SNES scared the heck outta me and caused so much anger!

[GabrielsThoughts]

hey boo boo, your wish is, like granted. As soon as I finish stealing this pickanick basket, and bopping you on the head with this basey ball bat.


I wish people would accept that I rock at pong.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but at everything else, your performance is always sub-par.

I wish I had time to eat breakfast every morning.

[Caswin]

I wish I had time to eat breakfast every morning.

Yum, yum.  Great way to start the day.  Now you're up and ready to face... um... dearie me, you seem to have lost any employment, educational, or any of those other all-day time constraints you may have once had.  (It only seems like a good thing at first, trust me.)

I wish there were more faithful book-to-screen adaptations.  Like Redwall.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I wish there were more faithful book-to-screen adaptations.  Like Redwall.

Granted. The first one up is Grunts, by Mary Gentle. After that, the public outrage is so extreme, everyone goes back to what they were doing previously.


I wish I had a better work environment.