Corrupt a Wish, Part Trois

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. But you foolishly didn't realize that this would cause a space-time paradox, and the universe anihilates 'both' of you to simplify things.

I wish I was a Protoss.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. 2 seconds -before- you took you out, you took you out as well, in a suicide attack.

Whoops.

Oh, and you've discovered that the 72 virgins remain virgin. And you can't do anything with them. Not to mention they're all shrewish, and you're locked in a room with them for the next, well, until the end of time, really.

Granted. The Zerg overrun your base and eat you, with ketchup.


I wish I'd brought some lunch with me today.

[Angel]

Granted. It's a lamp on a bun. Yum!

I wish I had a decent Alucard cosplay.

[lucas marcone]

granted. you are then beat up by all the cool kids.

[techmaster-glitch]

(oh gods how many times has this happeded with various people already?)
I wish Lucas wasn't an idiot and follows the rules! He forgot to make a wish!

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but then he makes a truly evil corruption to one of your wishes which affects you so badly that it makes you spend the rest of your days huddled in a closet, waiting for the corruption to actually happen.

I wish I could make gold bars appear out of thin air.

[Angel]

Granted. My little brother and I sue you for copyright infringement.
Sorry, but Liz's power was our idea.

I wish I had a few DVDs of Family Guy. And don't break or scratch 'em.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but they're all in vietnamese.  Good luck trying to understand what's being said.

I wish I could kidnap Liz and use his powers to my own evil ends.

[e_voyager]

granted but two weeks late Liz escapes and oh my i hope you have a good hiding place.

i wish that i was able to get rid of the part of me that gets in the way of me achieving my goals

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted...as a  result you loose all sex organs/programming, unfortunately you no longer have the desire do anything with your life and the result is the same.

I wish to have an A on the math exam I took today as well as an  A on my (not telling) exam tomorrow.

[lucas marcone]

granted but you do so well that the teacher figures out that you've been cheating, and they are really into the whole naughty school boy/strict teacher role play



i wish i had enough money to take care of current bills and health care woithout any illegal or humiliateing activities.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but you spent it all on porn video games anyway.

I wish I could be a successful ninja. 

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. But Rammenstien, hating you for eternity for making that wish, (because it's his wish) hires an entire clan of uber-elite ninjas that come down and ninja you so bad tha no one ever finds your body.

I wish that a line of robotic toy Mows were created, like Furbies.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but like the Mows in the comic, they're mindless, indestructible, swarm together, flutter, murr, and eat all clothing in sight.  While that's good for some people, there are other people in the world that really, really, really need to keep their clothes.  But since the Mows are mindless, they don't understand that, and the people who really should remain clothed make all the rest of us go blind.

I wish I had the ability to get something from nothing.

[Roureem Egas]

Granted. From the void, you can pull...shoes!

Wish modified since I now know why I was sick. New wish: I wish I didn't get food posioning.

[lucas marcone]

granted. you're just allergic to all of it.


i wish i were able to sleep.

[Boog]

Don't we all?
However, since I have to grant it, have fun explaining to your boss at work why you were too sleepy to remember things like a shave, a tie, pants, or which end of the coffee pot should be facing up when you put it down.

I wish I hadn't skipped on buying some of the materials I need for my pre-college cartooning courses. It was stupid of me.

[lucas marcone]

granted. you are now completely bankrupt.




i wish for a rabid flying unicorn with lazer beam eyes airplane wings lots of missles and really bad diareea that only obeyed me.

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted, you are one of the four horseman of the apocalypse... if only the end of days had a consistent deadline you would finally be able to use the darn thing.

I wish for lots 7-11 would give out free slurpees...

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but it's just a ruse to get rid of their most unpopular flavor: "Sweaty Redneck"... which, according to rumor, actually tastes like the backside of a sweaty redneck.

I wish I could create a zombie horde that only had a taste for producers of reality tv shows and upon eating said producers would go back to their graves until a new batch of reality tv producers appears, at which time the process begins anew.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted, however you get inveigled into producing a reality show about your efforts, and, in a moment of inattention, accept the offer.


I wish I had lunch today.

[lucas marcone]

granted it was a batch of fresh, large, uncooked jallepanios.....have fun passing THAT out of your body.




i wish for the pure unbridled power of rock to be harnessed for the ability to power the entire world......thanks all be to al gore for the innovateive idea

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but Al Gore takes all the credit for it until the RIAA gets involved and quickly bankrupts the entire project from their newest set of fees and lawsuits that come from the fees not being paid, afterwards Al Gore reneges on his statements of taking credit for the idea and then all blame for the project failing is placed squarely on your shoulders.

I wish I could live for another 10,000 years.

[lucas marcone]

granted.... the earth however lasts for another two. have fun being immortal floating in space.






i wish my chemistry summerschool packet were easier.

[Angel]

Granted. The packet is suddenly at a third-grade level, but so are you. And you finish it so easily because you're a nerd. Ouch. Good luck having to hand over your packet to the bully down the street.

I wish I could go see Lordi perform.

[lucas marcone]

granted.

so ya
thought ya
might like to
go to the show
to feel the warm thrill of confusion
that space cadet glow
well i got some bad news for you sunshine
lordi isnt well he staied back at the hotel
so they sent us along as a surrogate band
it's time to find out where you fans really stand!


i wish i could go see pink floyd in the flesh.

[Boog]

Insert the zot of a teleporter misfire and an unpleasant squelch here.

I wish for Chuck Norris to vanish. Or just the jokes about him. Either's good.

[lucas marcone]

granted. all jokes about chuck norris vanish. but all those who are fans of the joke trace the wish back to you. and seeing as chuck is among them expect pain.





i wish i were the one to discover the next thing more awesome than rockin kirby 

[Feroluce]

Granted! however, an italian research team make the same discovery approximately 1/100th of a second after you, tying both of you up in lawsuits for the next twenty years, the legal fees alone putting you in more dept then you can possibly pay off over your entire life.




I wish I could, at will, turn water into a high quality alcaholic beverage of my choice.

[lucas marcone]

granted. youre now an alcoholic and push everyone you ever loved away because of it.





i wish for one fish red fish.