[comic] Gabriel, pg.6 [02-08-'10]

[WhiteFox]

I'm hypersensitive to criticism, and since I can't draw, any and all suggestions I make don't have any experience what-so-ever behind them. Thus, since I haven't been down that road, I'm aware that it's easy for me to make profoundly stupid suggestions. And I still can't understand why I thought I was fit to offer "help" in the first place... Although, it did take me about an hour or so to compose...

I took three hours to write the response. 

There's a few things I've learned about a critique. Criticism is hostile. A critique is excessively neutral. It's easy to confuse one for the other.

Really, a matter of tone. Using words like "frig", excessively apologizing for sounding harsh, and "talking down" (eg.:"I'd google a few tutorials") really isn't necessary.

Suggestions are actually not the most important part of feedback; it's the observations. That being the case, you don't need to be an artist to make observations. I wanna know what you think,

... Who's Felix, again?

hapless would be right.
Felix would be the gray cat, who almost got fried by Jade, ,mindscrewed by Theo, and pushed over by Emeline. If that doesn't ring a bell, Felix also switches genders on one or two occasions.

I have less then half a dozen characters. How hard can they be to keep track of?

I tried! Dang, I tried! I had a hunch it was a weak point, artist's sunburn, and/or raw nerve and I tried to avoid sounding like a jerk. (That last line really blew it, which I see now...)

It's really hard. I was a pretty big jerk when I started posting feedback here, till I figured out a few guidelines.

In the end, though, it is the effort that matters. I can tell you weren't trying to be mean, so you didn't blow it. The feedback was very good to know, too.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I have less then half a dozen characters. How hard can they be to keep track of?

How often are the names mentioned? Seriously?

I remember the chars, I just don't necessarily have the names attached correctly - at least partially my fault, being somewhat occupied with other things.

[Drayco84]

I took three hours to write the response.  neko 2

There's a few things I've learned about a critique. Criticism is hostile. A critique is excessively neutral. It's easy to confuse one for the other.

Really, a matter of tone. Using words like "frig", excessively apologizing for sounding harsh, and "talking down" (eg.:"I'd google a few tutorials") really isn't necessary.

Suggestions are actually not the most important part of feedback; it's the observations. That being the case, you don't need to be an artist to make observations. I wanna know what you think,

To self: Learn the meaning of "tone" and how to use it.

As for what I think... I think I need to stop looking in the fridge for my cereal... (I'm not kidding, I did this earlier today... And no, I don't use milk on my cereal.)

hapless would be right.
Felix would be the gray cat, who almost got fried by Jade, ,mindscrewed by Theo, and pushed over by Emeline. If that doesn't ring a bell, Felix also switches genders on one or two occasions.

I have less then half a dozen characters. How hard can they be to keep track of?

Oh! The one that's shaping up to be an antagonist, possibly a humorously incompetent one at that. I have to hide behind (In) boxes, but llearch has a point. The use of names is kinda rare, and without a cast page, it's harder for readers to associate a name with a character.
........................
And I -would- try to rack up a list of times that names are mentioned, but Firefox has suddenly decided to try and open the php script with Bluefish Editor. (Yet, it's not doing this to DMFA... The heck?!) And so is SeaMonkey... And so is Konqueror... (Installs Opera...)  AND SO IS OPERA?! Holy-AAAAAARGH! (Although in Konqueror and Opera's case, they're just not opening the php script and are instead trying to find some other program to open it with.)  Great... Now I gotta find out what's going on with my system... I switched to Linux to AVOID garbage like this!

Is anyone else having this problem, or just me?

It's really hard. I was a pretty big jerk when I started posting feedback here, till I figured out a few guidelines.

In the end, though, it is the effort that matters. I can tell you weren't trying to be mean, so you didn't blow it. The feedback was very good to know, too.

*Exhales in relief.*

EDIT: I may have bad news... I tested out a php script on my own site http://dragonoftwilight.net/comments/comments.php, which has worked quite well ever since I first got it working, and that's opening up normally as well. I prefer to WAIT until someone else reports the same problem before I would say that you might an issue with the server. AGAIN, since it's only me, it MAY NOT be the server. Or, it could ALSO just be that the server is just down for maintenance.

[hapless]

Code Select Expand

HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Date: Wed, 03 Mar 2010 20:02:32 GMT
Server: Apache/2.2.13
Last-Modified: Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:07:41 GMT
ETag: "363e4a9-10cd-46e8a45b6e940"
Accept-Ranges: bytes
Content-Length: 4301
Keep-Alive: timeout=5, max=100
Connection: Keep-Alive
Content-Type: application/x-httpd-php


Yeah, confirmed.
Seems that mod_php5 is unloaded for some reason.

[WhiteFox]

hapless: I have no idea what any that means.

Regardless, my archive seems to no longer be working. Given the unprecedented amount of crap I've been through, I'm going to find a corner to sit in a corner somewhere and have a nice, quiet, complete breakdown.

[techmaster-glitch]

Yikes...this does suck, man. Take whatever time you need to get things sorted out, we'll be here for you.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

hapless: I have no idea what any that means.

It means the webserver no longer supports php.

If it's your webserver, then you have a problem you can fix. If not, you can ask the person who runs it why they no longer support php, and look at moving the whole lot off.

[WhiteFox]

DSOF #58

Not my best work, and long overdue. Comments and feedback appreciated regardless.

PHP still isn't working. Calls to the ISP are being made.



Almost ten years ago, I got out of high school. Once I got home, I took a one gallon jug filled with four years of leftover lunch money. I counted it all up, and had almost a hundred dollars. I went down town, and bought a scanner.

It's outlasted three computers, two Waccom tablets, four versions of Photoshop, a year at college, and five changes of residence. It was the first piece of computer hardware that I had ever bought for myself, and probably the best thing I got out of high school.

Last week it refused to turn on, and has shown no signs of life since.

I should be able to get a new one, but I don't think I'll ever be able to replace it.

[Drayco84]

Yeowch... Sucks about the scanner... For some bizarre reason, I've never had anything computer-related "die" on me... (Might have something to do with the fact that stuff gets replaced somewhat frequently.)

If you're looking to buy, check out Newegg, if only for their customer reviews. Read them carefully, do your research, and hopefully you won't get a defective unit shipped to you. (I've ordered two netbooks so far, RAM upgrades for them, and a router. Soon, I might be buying a new game comp piece by piece.)

Anyway, on to feedback...
Yaaaaaay! Color blending! It makes Theo's "chameleon" ability look a bit more plausible/obvious/in the foreground, rather than just having different colors every panel.

Nitpicks...
Forgot Theo's wings in the middle panel and the last one, but the last can be forgiven since it'll block off our view of Theo and/or his uncle. Calden's headwings are missing in the second-to-last panel.
The rocks and waterfalls, while very scenic, would probably look better as part of a mountain that rises above the panels. The rocks that make up the stream look too flat, (In other words, too much like a plateau shape.) especially in the last panel. Besides, the overall area they're in makes it look like they're near a hill or in the middle of some hills and valleys.
Sorry, I just happen to live hear the Hocking Hills area of Ohio and it reminded me of the landscape there. Have you seen any pictures of the area? If not, you should. (It's a nice place, to put it mildly.) Although, bushes are kinda uncommon there... At least, compared to the massive number of trees, anyway... But anyway, the more rocks in the background, the less trees and bushes! (Eh, not much of a tradeoff, is it?)

So... Tired... Brain... Fighting... Sleep... Won't... Shut... Up... Eyes... Heavy... Holy crap! It was 12:30am when I started this... How'd it become 2am?!

[Tapewolf]

What kind of scanner is it?

As for the comic, I'm not entirely sure I understand Cal's complaint: only two of the structures actually seem to have been destroyed.

[Drayco84]

Yeah, but I'd be pretty peed about a bunch of paladin squatters holed up in a place I built, myself. (Hypocritic jerks...) Heck, in that case, I'd probably prefer for it to be razed to the ground.

And as for flying castles/cities, they sure worked for the good guys in Lunar, rite? And remember, those were the good guys, not "villians". If a villian uses it, odds are excellent that it'll crash with the villian still inside it. (Obviously, the heros, sidekicks, sickenly cute little pets, and love interests escape unscathed.) But, bear in mind, Theo's father probably ran into some "technical difficulties" and can't even get it off the ground.

[WhiteFox]

So... Tired... Brain... Fighting... Sleep... Won't... Shut... Up... Eyes... Heavy... Holy crap! It was 12:30am when I started this... How'd it become 2am?!

I've accidently stayed up until 7am working on art stuffs.

The rocks that make up the stream look too flat, (In other words, too much like a plateau shape.) especially in the last panel. Besides, the overall area they're in makes it look like they're near a hill or in the middle of some hills and valleys.

There's two types of region I use for image reference, the first being tropical, broad leaf, and temperate rain forests. For the most part, they're very, very uneven ground.

As for the rocks being kind of flat, that's somewhat on purpose; backgrounds have a low priority in terms of detail. Too much detail makes the background distracting, and would take a lot of time.

Still... It probably wouldn't be hard to rough up the surfaces a bit.

Sorry, I just happen to live hear the Hocking Hills area of Ohio and it reminded me of the landscape there. Have you seen any pictures of the area? If not, you should. (It's a nice place, to put it mildly.) Although, bushes are kinda uncommon there... At least, compared to the massive number of trees, anyway... But anyway, the more rocks in the background, the less trees and bushes! (Eh, not much of a tradeoff, is it?)

Sounds plesant. I'll have to look it up.

What kind of scanner is it?

CanoScan N607U. It used to be the only scanners I could get were Canon or Epson, because I'm on a Mac.

As for the comic, I'm not entirely sure I understand Cal's complaint: only two of the structures actually seem to have been destroyed.

I had a list of about a dozen structures and various ways they met their doom... I only had room for a few. "Squatting paladins" gave me a mental picture of a bunch of college frat boys in armor loafing around.

Cal actually has two complaints; One, structures he makes for the clan rarely go well, and two, adventurers keep messing up all his hard work.

I'd be pretty peed about a bunch of paladin squatters holed up in a place I built, myself. (Hypocritic jerks...)

You're going to love Sebastien. I can tell.

...He's not in the comic yet.

But, bear in mind, Theo's father probably ran into some "technical difficulties" and can't even get it off the ground.

GM Rule of Thumb: I do not need to tell the players everything I know, nor do I need to correct any assumptions they make.

Edit: Whatever made my scanner stop working seems to have disabled one of my brand new computers USB ports. Yay.
(Before you ask, I did try using different ports and cables with the scanner, to no avail.)

[techmaster-glitch]

I stilllll can't wait to see what Theo is actually going to ask his uncle to do! *suspense!*

[LionHeart]

Almost ten years ago, I got out of high school. Once I got home, I took a one gallon jug filled with four years of leftover lunch money. I counted it all up, and had almost a hundred dollars. I went down town, and bought a scanner.

It's outlasted three computers, two Waccom tablets, four versions of Photoshop, a year at college, and five changes of residence. It was the first piece of computer hardware that I had ever bought for myself, and probably the best thing I got out of high school.

Last week it refused to turn on, and has shown no signs of life since.

I should be able to get a new one, but I don't think I'll ever be able to replace it.

Sounds like you got your money's worth, at least.

[Tapewolf]

CanoScan N607U. It used to be the only scanners I could get were Canon or Epson, because I'm on a Mac.

I have two scanners from 1998, the main one is my Dad's old HP Deskjet.  I've never tried it on the Mac, and in any case bridging SCSI to USB is liable to be a bit of a fiddle.  Also it may amuse you that one of these 1998 scanners - the A3 one - was bought new in 2008.  I was all "I didn't know they still made those!" and then "...oh.  They don't." when I finally opened the box 

But yeah, it's a shame when a workhorse like that finally breaks down.  I dunno if it's bus-powered or has its own power supply, but it wouldn't surprise me if one of the capacitors has died, they usually have a 10-15 year lifespan.

[WhiteFox]

I'm most worried that I'm going to buy a piece of crap cheap scanner thats gonna break in a week. All the "nice" scanners are 3-in-1 devices with printers, or fax machines, or coffee dispensers I don't really want.

Actually, what I really want is an affordable scanner that's larger then 8.5 x 14. That would be nice. I'll have to look into that.

DSOF is gonna be late for sure. Big surprise. I did get a lot of work on cast profiles and stuff this week, tho.

Anyway... Here's the CCC pic I did for Basilisk. It's already gotten more comments and faves then all my posted stuff combined. I am filled with fear.

Also: did a little comic for Gabi. For someone who runs a gift swap, she doesn't get enough love.

[WhiteFox]

Yay, double post.

Finally finished colouring my character pic for the OSaS RP:

Gabriel Cartwright

Doing the canvas pants was... fun.

[Drayco84]

I can tell...

You've pulled it off very well, though.

[Kipiru]

Nice shading on the pants Fox, looks super realistic. Cool character- mechanic no doubt.

[WhiteFox]

Cool character- mechanic no doubt.

Three parts mechanic, one part enchanter. I had a very fun time coming up with... alternative ammunition for the gun.

I've been working on my shading technique for a while now... I think it's almost at a point I'm happy with.

[WhiteFox]

DSOF #59 Yes, concrete.

Had to forego shading this time around. I hit my maximum stress tolerance.

I've come to realize something... I find working on a computer to be intolerable. It's arduous from start to finish. I'm seriously considering staying with flat colours (which takes hardly any time), or even going to B/W. The more I can do on paper, the better. I'd rather focus on improving my inking anyway, to be frank.

Comment and critique appreciated, as usual. Archive still not working.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Interesting. Concrete isn't something that occurs in nature, which means that the entire mountain range? Artificial? Leftover from some sort of ancient civilization perhaps? Magical construct.


I'm wanting to see where this goes.

[WhiteFox]

The mountain range is primarily limestone, which is used to make cement. Cement, plus aggregate, makes concrete.

[Drayco84]

You remembered everybody's wings except Jade's in the last panel, and Theo's right wing in 3 and 4. (If I really wanted to be picky, then I'd throw in Calden's wings on panel 6 since they normally extend above his head when folded.) Theo's left headwing in panel 2, as well as his right headwing in panel 3 and 7, looks obscured, but reasonably so. And... Yeesh! I'm counting 35 37 wings altogether! (A grand total of 45 if you were showing all of them!) No wonder you're forgetting some... (And probably also hate wings... So, I can't blame you.) Hmmm... Maybe that's why Amber's cubi hide their headwings...

It's a minor thing, but Calden's eyes really need that white spot in them like you have in comic 57. Otherwise, they look kinda... Zombie-like and dead... (Since the white spot is there mostly when he's angry or surprised, I'm guessing it's an emoting thing, though.) Calden's mouth looks like it's missing in panels 4 and 6, and Theo doesn't have his rodent teeth. (This wouldn't be a problem to most, except for the fact that it really irked me on commercials for the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, and your chars are 90% furry. Plus, when you get bitten by rodent-like creatures, you remember the teeth!).

However, the mountains and other scenery looks pretty good. The many, many folds in Theo's robes are well done, and other than the above, I don't have any complaints. More importantly, if I wasn't actively looking everything over for stuff to comment on, I might not have even noticed most of the nitpicks above. (Well, except for maybe Calden's eyes...)

As for the drawing, do you use a tablet? Not the Tablet PCs, but a connectable tablet like one of the ones here: http://www.newegg.com/Store/SubCategory.aspx?SubCategory=296&name=Tablets? Nevermind, if you'd rather work on your inking, then it's entirely up to you. (Plus, tablets are expensive! The absolute cheapest was over $50, US! And it even used USB1.1!) However, what program do you use to do your coloring?

EDIT: I forgot! You already hate wings! *Facepalm.*
EDIT 2: Forgot an 't...
EDIT... Oh, fuggit...

[WhiteFox]

You remembered everybody's wings except Jade's in the last panel, and Theo's right wing in 3 and 4. (If I really wanted to be picky, then I'd throw in Calden's wings on panel 6 since they normally extend above his head when folded.) Theo's left headwing in panel 2, as well as his right headwing in panel 3 and 7, looks obscured, but reasonably so. And... Yeesh! I'm counting 35 37 wings altogether! (A grand total of 45 if you were showing all of them!) No wonder you're forgetting some... (And probably also hate wings... So, I can't blame you.) Hmmm... Maybe that's why Amber's cubi hide their headwings...

In the future, you can just mention that I forgot a few wings. You don't need to go through the whole list.

In some cases, like theo's far headwings in panel two and three, I didn't forget them. They're just not visible at that angle. (Most of the time, though, I forgot them or couldn't draw them properly.)

It's a minor thing, but Calden's eyes really need that white spot in them like you have in comic 57.

I add shiny spots in the rendering stage, which I didn't actually do this time around. They would have been worth the time, tho... Thanks for pointing that out.

Calden's mouth missing was deliberate. It's a comic... convention... thing. The expression looked better without.

His jawline looks totally messed up, though.

Theo doesn't have his rodent teeth.

I don't draw Theo with large incisors anymore... I couldn't find a decent looking way to do so. Every now and then I do a few sketches to take another shot at it, but I've never had luck with the results.

Man... I wish I had a pet rat.

However, the mountains and other scenery looks pretty good.

Cool. I was hoping that would come out well.

As for the drawing, do you use a tablet?

I have an Wacom Intuos3, 6x8. It was 168$ new-in-box on eBay. I still prefer to do my drawing on paper, though.

However, what program do you use to do your coloring?

Photoshop CS2. I'll be upgrading to CS4 relatively soon. My mom is a professional graphic designer, so I get a copy of whatever she's using (Thank you, Adobe, for multiple installs).

[Drayco84]

In the future, you can just mention that I forgot a few wings. You don't need to go through the whole list.

Sorry...

I don't draw Theo with large incisors anymore... I couldn't find a decent looking way to do so. Every now and then I do a few sketches to take another shot at it, but I've never had luck with the results.

Man... I wish I had a pet rat.

I understand, trying to combine animal and human dental features require a lot of artistic license.

I've never had rats, but I've had hamsters and worse, bunnies. Not small, dwarf bunnies that are the size of rats, but bunnies. Large, heavily muscular beasts that are as longer than my forearm when hunched up, and even longer when lying on their sides. We're currently into our third generation. First ones were raised by someone else, second gen was raised by us from birth, and the new gen are the sons and daughters of an Arnold Schwartza-bunny who, when he got to run out in the yard, zig-zagged all the way up the freaking hill, stopping and waiting for the sucker on the other end of the harness to get somewhat close before bounding off again...

But anyway, I still have a scar on my left hand from when the grand-pappy bit me... It was a cold day, I came in from taking care of "his" hunnies, so I figured the least he could let me do was let me put my cold hands on his tummy. After all, my sister was holding him at the time, and he didn't dare to (Censored) around with her... (Obviously, THAT was dead wrong...) I had to pry his jaws open with my right hand in order to free my left hand... I still remember the feel of his whiskers and his fur while trying to do so...

[WhiteFox]

DSOF #60

I decided to forego shading most of the page. It doesn't really add all that much to the story, and I just want to move on at this point.

This page was a lot of experimentation, and not much of it came out well. The perspective is shot all to hell in places, and the inking was atrocious (what you see here is the cleaned up version. You don't want to see the originals).

There are a few things I like about the page, tho. I had to redraw one of the panels, and it ended up being the best panel I have ever inked in my life. The shading on the last panel was... well, whole new levels of effort (I cheated, actually. Just a tiny bit). I think it paid off, tho.

The archive problem has been sorted out. It should be back online... whenever I get it back online, I guess. By the next update. Probably

When I started DSOF, I don't realized how much face-time Felix was going to get.

Anyway... comments and critique would be very much appreciated.

[WhiteFox]

(Note to self; Edit and Quote are two different buttons. I do not need to quote my first post, I need to edit it.)

Edit: Did you want me to remove this post, just to make things cleaner?
  -- llearch

[Drayco84]

The only thing that strikes me is that it looks pretty deserted for a shopping center... And the stairs in the last panel look a tad too short for masses of people to easily walk on. In other words, it needs longer steps.

If it were me, I'd take the lazy way out and lampshade the lack of people in the next comic. Nvm, that sounds rude and harsh. Sorry.

[techmaster-glitch]

Ooh, so she didn't just slap down Felix and move on... eeenteresting

Love how felix shifts his/her wings into tentacles to aid in getting back on their feet, cool touch.