College Crunch Time, a few (retroactive)helpful hints on staying sane...ish.

[Jim Halisstrad]

For me finals are next week, and since people are asking me all the time Coach Z Jim how you (Yes this *Edit* IS intentional llearch :p)  stay so calm

I figured I would toss word parts out trying to explain my cool demeanor.

Warning, may not be helpful advice.  Consult the hooker in the back ally for more information.

1.)  Drink heavily. A wise person once said, if your senses are addled it is impossible to contemplate how F**CkED you really are.  My personal poison of choice is Whiskey (Jim Beam to be exact.)

Of course maybe you are one of those sissies who worries about "Liver Failure" or "Hangovers" or "The ability to stay awake during class"

Fine.
Wuss.

2.)  Douglass Adams really said it best, Don't Panic.  Seriously, stressing about the HIDEOUS pile of homework, exams, and essays isn't going to do you any good.  Relax, just do it.

3.)  Join a study group.  Well, this is more help for the next semester, but it's a good idea and if you have any social skill at all usually works.  This does however follow along the same lines as my next point.

4.) For the love of God ask for help if you need it!  If your teacher blows big salty balls and you are left utterly confused then DON'T struggle on your own.  Your College is probably FILLED with teachers (They seem to collect there) so there has to be another one who teaches your class.  Find them and Ask them questions.  If they don't help you they usually will point you in the right direction.

5.)  You are not crawling in your skin, your wounds will heal.

6.)  Take thirty minutes out of your day and RELAX.  (Now if you're reading this, you probably do this step anyway_

7.)  Study sooner rather then later.  Sure, it sucks if you're working a job and going to school but studying a little now is going to do you a lot better then trying to cram for two tests in one day.  Although right now I don't have room to talk much on this subject, I'm very part time right now.

8.)  Eat healthy and if so inclined take vitamins.  Yes, yes I'm the size of a walrus right now but I feel fit as a fiddle!  Healthy mind, healthy body and all that.  Seriously though, ever since I started taking a multi vitamin and vitamin C I feel fanf**kingtastic.

9.)  If you absolutely have to cram for a test because you follow rule one too often, cram smartly.  Try and be well rested before the insanity starts, try to keep your distractions down to a minimum (Though take breaks when needed), take advantage of the fact that few people actually study and cram with a partner or two.

10.)  Don't let one bad grade get you down.  Make no mistake, mistakes happen.  There is a large chance you will screw up and or shit will happen.  If you're GPA is still good enough to keep that glorious financial aid coming then keep at it.  Don't let it get you down.  Reach down inside like all those cliche  made for T.V. movies and find your inner strength.  Learn from your mistakes, etc.

And last of all, have fun.  Just because your entire future rests on your education and without it you could end up homeless in a box selling your body just to maintain your drug habit is no reason to 'Freak Out'.

Thank you for your time
This post was proudly brought to you by Idiot Power Industries.

[Jigsaw Forte]

11) Your Cell Phone has an alarm clock system, USE IT. Half of you probably jump at your phones when they go off anyway and it's likely the best line of defense from oversleepage as you can get. (as a bonus, it's always on your person, so even if you crash at the frat house you can still wake up on time.)

This goes double for daily meds (like birth control)

[superluser]

1.)  Drink heavily. A wise person once said, if your senses are addled it is impossible to contemplate how F**CkED you really are.  My personal poison of choice is Whiskey (Jim Beam to be exact.)

F**CkED?  Two letters?  Flecked?

Also, stay away from anyone who tells you that Jim Beam is your friend.  Laphroaig is a much better friend.

2.)  Douglass Adams really said it best,

``I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.''?

[King Of Hearts]

-If you are feeling sleepy, then sleep. There is no use trying to study if your body is not going to take it.

-Do memory exercises at odd times, like in the shower, on the toilet or in a bus at random intervals.

-dont study more than an hour straight, pull off a ten minuite break every hour to clear your head.

-As yourself "What's the worst that could happen" then tell yourself "At least I'll live."

[RJ]

My uni doesn't have study groups...

Good thing the only subject I have with a "test" this semester is a take-home one for media studies. Whoo.

RJ's Tips:

• If you live with distracting people, ie. friends/family, change your sleep routine so you can have time alone. This also lets you have less time with those distracting people so you don't have to worry about their problems that they like to load off onto you at inappropriate times.
• Cut down on the coffee and start drinking hot cocoa instead- it's known to lower blood pressure and leave you feeling happy and sparkly.
• Don't listen to music, or at least not your favourite stuff, when you're studying. You'll end up distracting yourself when you start singing along or dancing.
• Study in a still environment if you can- meaning nothing moving around, or stuff like fans blowing wind into your eyes. The last thing you want is sandpaper eyes.
• Ignore everyone else's ideas on the assignment. You'll start to worry yourself thinking you're doing it wrong.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Neat, Jim. Although DNA only has one S in his first name.


BTW, where did you get the intentional llearch?

Also, stay away from anyone who tells you that Jim Beam is your friend.  Laphroaig is a much better friend.

My brother tends to prefer Lagavulin, although I'm not sure that's not just because it's not available in the country he's in...

[Jim Halisstrad]

You've got me at least twice that I know of on Grammar and/or spelling ;p


And I STILL FAILED.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Should I point out the back ally that the hooker is in? I thought hookers mostly stayed in alleys...

I'm wondering whose ally it is...

And you didn't close the parenthesis in part 6...

[superluser]

Don't listen to music, or at least not your favourite stuff, when you're studying. You'll end up distracting yourself when you start singing along or dancing.

That's why I like Györgi Ligeti.  You can't groove to it, and you wind up spacing out.

Unfortunately, Ligeti wasn't very prolific with this type of music, and so you start listening to the same three pieces.  Fortunately!  It appears that Penderecki (see ``De Natura Sonoris'') did very similar stuff--so similar that I've been confusing the two.  And it has a name: Sound mass.

It's great background music for studying/working.

[Mel Dragonkitty]

Check around your college. Where I work we have an entire department devoted to this. They coordinate study groups, arrange tutoring, teach study skills, time management, and de-stressing workshops.  Earlier in the year they test students to find out what their learning style is so they can develop customized study skills plans that will work best for the individual and not just hand out a list of ideas.

Put these people to work helping you. Your tuition is paying for the service.

[Jim Halisstrad]

Should I point out the back ally that the hooker is in? I thought hookers mostly stayed in alleys...

I'm wondering whose ally it is...

And you didn't close the parenthesis in part 6...

Thats it, next semester I'm sending you my English comp 2 essays and letting you proofread them :p

[rabid_fox]

When I was at University (well, my first trip through University) I tended towards getting very drunk, wearing purple shirts and shaving when it became possible to weave my pubic hairs into my beard and strum 'em like a harp.