BWEEP! BWEEP! Nooblet alert! Nooblet alert!

[Illusionist]

Yeah, I'm new here.

I'm actually feeling quite proud of myself for going 5 minutes without putting my foot in it.

[Suwako]

  HI, welcome and enjoy yourself here.

watch out for evil boxes. 

[Faerie Alex]

Welcome to the forum of 1000 emotes (not really, but it seems like it).

The following emote shall warn you of another danger.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

You should probably watch out for me, too.

I have it on good notice that I'm not evil, I'm just painted that way.

Welcome to the forum, watch out for anyone who tells you to watch out for things, because they're not to be trusted, and are probably a dirty commie, and I'm going to jump out of this hellhole of networks and punch them in the nose....

[Jim Halisstrad]

HAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

Another new person!
Time to break out the extra frilly clothing.

[xHaZxMaTx]

Step in what?  An evil box?  Yeah, that probably wouldn't be too good.   I doubt you'd get your foot back.

[LionHeart]

*appears in a flash of blue light*

Hi! Welcome to this place - a dimension of sight and sound, but mostly of mind.

If you have any sanity, please be sure to leave it in the secure storage provided, and be sure to hang on to your claim ticket.

Beware of stuff. Never take the box seriously. Avoid the squirrel-borne muffins.

Have a welcome gift. *gives the new person a souvenir coffee mug*

Enjoy your time here, where the insanity fun never ends!

*waves, and vanishes in a shower of coloured sparkles*

[Zedd]

Enjoy your life as it was good..But not long....*evil cackle and lightning strike* 

[bill]

Why hello there!

Since nobody did it already...

[Stygian]

Why hello there!

Since nobody did it already...

I concur. Also, I happen to have cake. Maybe that can be just a little bit of consolation. But hopefully not too much.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Suits me. I always have a hankering for cake after raping newbies.

[Illusionist]

I thought the cake was for me?

[ITOS]

Greetings. I am 7 Itos Atio, monitor of installation 00.

I thought the cake was for me?

Most newbies get things like coffee cups, sticks and muffins (haven't seen RJ in a few days though... ). Oh and here is one of the mentioned sticks. It can be used to poke things from a distance to see if they explode. If they do, you die.

Have a nice day.

[Illusionist]

I got a stick! I feel loved!

Slightly.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

... and not just sticky?

[bill]

... and not just sticky?

[Illusionist]

Well, the stickiness goes without saying.