Corrupt a Wish, Part Deux

[Valynth]

Granted, you now have premenant angst, depression, and acne.

I wish humans could eat, digest, and gain nutrition from rocks.

[Caswin]

I wish humans could eat, digest, and gain nutrition from rocks.

Granted.  Soon, they become standard fare.  Restaurants, cafeterias and such are full of 'em.  "Rock or nonrock?", they say.
And then some genius declares a food fight...

I wish real-life stage comedians were as funny as the Internet people who make those cat pictures.

EDIT: Booyah!  1k!

[Zedd]

Granted, Now stand up comandy is preformed by cats and people all fall asleep and die by the radio waves

I wish I had all the tools on my computer to make a simple video game and none of it was broken,smashed or lost or cause my computer to blow up or otherwise

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted your soul however now belongs to Disney and you are responsible for the worst movie of all time second only to "santa clause versus the martians"


I wish for a clock radio.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You now have a radio that changes channel every second.



I wish I'd been in bed hours ago.

[Caswin]

granted your soul however now belongs to Disney and you are responsible for the worst movie of all time second only to "santa clause versus the martians"

Objection!  How is that relevant to the wish being corrupted?

I wish I'd been in bed hours ago.

As a result, you fail to make this wish.  You get pulled apart by a paradox; bye-bye.
Now go to sleep.

[GabrielsThoughts]

yor wish for nothing has been granted, however the reason you wished such a thing in the firstplace, was because you have been stranded in an airport terminal for the last two days.

I wish for girls jumping on trampolines.

[e_voyager]

granted you not have a movie of troll girls workout volume 2: trolls on trampolines

I wish it were a little hared to corrupt a wish

[Zedd]

Granted, You suddely realize as you are reading this wish grantment your computer turns into granite stonelike slabs and your tools are soild hard as bricks and to get any messages you have to live like the flintsones with tiny smart animals inside who speak and say..."Its a living..."

Wish I had sweeter and fresher smelling burps and farts

[Snuggles]

Granted, but now everytime you fart and burp it destroys the O-Zone layer...

I wish i had control over any Cat, big or small, to do with what i want.

[Valynth]

Granted, the world dies due to solar radiation.

I wish I could make an entertaining comic.

[Caswin]

Granted, the world dies due to solar radiation.

OBJECTION!!

[GabrielsThoughts]

caswin, your a wish to be a forum nazi has been fulfilled. take your prize and and behold my one fingered salute as I banish you from participating in our wishmaking services.

I wish caswin would be turned into a little girl with pigtails and dollies.

[Nikki]

Granted, but now she clings to you constantly, and you are expected to do everything

I wish i had some fish

[Angel]

Granted. You have sharks. And you're bleeding. In the water. (Someone else make the Jaws joke, please?)

I wish global warming would stop. And DON'T say it doesn't exist, please. Humor me.

[Zedd]

Granted...It stops and starts to suddly become cold and peoples nipples almost fall thanks to your wish and now people suffer like barbie dollsand now your dad wants you  go out with him and hunt some carroibu

I wish I had the heart to tell my dad I am "really" gay

[e_voyager]

granted but you dad has and even bigger surprise for you.

i wish that i could change forms as easy as beast boy doe  but with out the greed skin condition.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

*starts humming "doe, a deer, a female deer..." *

Granted. You now become a bambi. Unfortunately, changing back is rather harder - in fact, terrifically hard, and before you manage it, you get turned into bambi steaks by a passing hunter.

I wish I had a slice of nice, tender venison....

[Caswin]

I wish I had a slice of nice, tender venison....

Mm, delicious.  Of course, it's only later that you find out you just ate a chunk of Rudolph.  Millions of Christmas special fans are now out for your blood - but before they can get it, the Rudolphlesh turns out to have a few odd side effects, most notable among them the lighting-up of your shiny, light bulb-esque nose.
You, ah, do have a nose like a light bulb, don't you?  No?  Well, then, you just received a fatal electric shock.
Sure tasted good, though.

I wish pie was less fattening.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, pie is less fattening but only because you are now Garfield the cat and John has decided to take you to the vet because you swallowed something that didn't agree with your tummy, you discover you were alregic to something in your lasagna that will keep you vomiting for days...enjoy your life as king Ralph, I mean Garfeild.


I wish for the smpsons to be made into a live action movie.

[Tiny crested flint]

Granted and the costs of production come out of your wallet and the movie bombs leaving you in overwhelming debt.

I wish to successfully climb Mt. Everest

[Valynth]

Granted, unfortunately you run out of supplies so you end up unable to get down.

I wish I could inject logic directly into a person's brain.

[e_voyager]

granted but every time you do you loss some of you own logic until you are in need of an injection yourself but no one can help you as only you have the power.

i wish i had few enemies

[Caswin]

i wish i had few enemies

Ah, quality over quantity.  Excellent choice.
Bang... and you're dea-no, wait, they just pistol-whipped you while pretending to shoot you.  Now you're tied to a chair and undergoing all manner of nasty procedures.  You have strange enemies.

I wish I could circumvent the "Fool me once..." rule and just not be fooled at all.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you are now a knowitall a subspecies of human that everyone hates for no apperent reason.


I wish for free money.

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. You get $2000 Puerto Rican dollars. Have fun with that exchange rate, now...

I wish I was a robber baron.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted, however, due to a strange misunderstanding, you are transmuted to a rubber baron, and bounced out of range.

Have fun, Stretch.


I wish I hadn't slept in quite so long this morning.

[Caswin]

I wish I hadn't slept in quite so long this morning.

Instead, you got no sleep at all - and judging by how you originally slept in, you certainly needed it.  By the time you regain full consciousness, you are covered in bruises, are wearing two pairs of pants, both of them on your arms, and have what appear to be toaster burns on your hand.  Right on time!

You know what?  I wish all the sociopaths were dead.  Not my problem. (Yes, excluding me...)

[Cogidubnus]

Unwittingly, you have killed the only group of people that were absorbing all the the anti-social energies in the world, thus causing all of that anti-socialness to fall on the one person you decided to spare: yourself.

I wish I could move in all dimensions. Even the theoretical ones.

[e_voyager]

granted but the power is not fully under you control so you get lost quite often just stepping out side of you house. on the down side( yes i know you thought that was the down side)  many of the dimensions are hazardous to all forms of life especially yours.

i wish that i could control my power of literal translation better. ( i can't believe i copied beetle juice)