The inverse law of Ninja strength

[thegayhare]

http://www.netjak.com/review.php/1199

In college, I once found an amusing post card that said one of the simple truths of life. Namely, "24 highly-trained ninjas are no match for one man." Now, I know some people are going to claim this is a big pirate joke, but think about it for a moment. In martial arts movies, a lone man will easily clear the room of dozens of ninjas. I pondered this for a long time, especially in the realm of video gaming. It was certainly strange that I've probably taken out thousands of ninjas in my two and a half decades of video gaming, isn't it? Aren't ninjas supposed to be nigh unstoppable? Hey, they are every time I ever control a ninja in a video game. But thinking of my own escapades controlling ninjas made everything clear - I discovered the Law of Inverse Ninja Strength.

Now, the Law of Inverse Ninja Strength is quite simple. Quite simply, the strength of any one ninja is inversely proportional to the number of ally ninja able to assist the original ninja. For the most basic example, let's consider the Shinobi games. Your solitary ninja takes out the entire ninja population of Japan in the various Shinobi games - that's obviously only possible if the solo ninja is that much more powerful than the massive group of ninja. Even better, look at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle games. At most, you have four ninjas on your side, counting yourself. And you have a whole host of wimpy ninjas that can't take nearly the number of hits you can take. However, as you eliminate more of them, they start taking more hits. Finally, when it's just down to the Shredder, he's the only ninja left against four of you, and suddenly you're succumbing to one-hit kills and taunts about becoming soup.

This is really borne out in role-playing games, though. Think, in games where you don't get to choose your party members, you only get one ninja. For the longest time, it was thought it was to increase the "cool" factor of the character, a la Edge or Shadow in the Final Fantasy series, Nel in Star Ocean 3, or Scias in Breath of Fire IV. However, the simple fact is, too many ninjas is a sure-fire recipe for disaster. Look at Final Fantasy Tactics, for example. If you make a party of all ninjas, you're only going to defeat the most incompetent of foes. But if you only bring one ninja, you'll discover that he can deal with so many things nobody else can handle.

Video games are just the tip of the iceberg, really. Look at movies. How many stories have talked about a ninja clan that was almost completely wiped out by rivals, only leaving one survivor? Well, it's easy to do that, as the Law of Inverse Ninja Strength clearly shows that the clan members gathered in one spot are sitting ducks. But yet one manages to be apart from his clan members, and wreaks bloody vengeance for his fallen allies. I'm sure the cliche would have you believe that it's due to the strength he finds in his purpose. Not at all; he just gains strength by being the last of his kind.

Of course, if you want the ultimate proof of the Law of Inverse Ninja Strength, one source stands head and shoulders above the rest - The Tick, in his original comic book incarnation. When the Tick dealt with the Night of a Million Zillion Ninjas, who do you think came out on top? Naturally, the Tick did. But it wasn't his nigh-invulnerability, his apparent insanity, or any of those factors. Quite simply, when you gather a million zillion ninjas together, they're going to be as effective as a wet sponge against global warming.

I've been over and over this, and every time, the Law of Inverse Ninja Strength holds true. Heck, even in Gotcha Force - only a fool would build a team out of all Ninja Borgs in that game, despite the fact that they're incredibly sweet. And when even robot ninjas fall under this law, you know it's powerful indeed. Heck, they even wrote it into Naruto - the ninja stay in very small teams, and all the duplication techniques they use seriously weaken the user.

Now, the important thing is not just to know of the Law's influence, but to use it well. Never leave one enemy ninja alive - take them all out in one shot, while they're all weak. The last ninja standing will gain immense power. Never bring many of your own ninja - one if you can get away with it, no more than two or three if you can�t settle for just one. And always be ready to cut out another ninja on your side at the earliest convenience. After all, if they're going to run a cliche into the ground, you might as well abuse it.

You know this strangly makes alot of sense

[techmaster-glitch]

I have GOT to make sure Rammenstien sees this...

[Ryudo Lee]

Posted that to my gaming group's Yahoo! Group.  Thanks for that TGH.

[Reese Tora]

you know, I have noticesd this... in Final Fantasy Tactics:Advance, I can send my lone ninja character(a viera assassin) into combat with no support, and she takes out each enemy with ease.  Of course, I don't have any other ninjas to test the inverse with...

oddly, my human ninja isn't capable of sweeping the battle field by himslef so easily... perhaps an addendum to the law of inverse ninja power is that a hot chick ninja will have more power than an equivalently trained male ninja.

[lucas marcone]

pirates arn't bound by that law. and a damn good by themselves. so who is the better here?

[Ryudo Lee]

Giant robots.

[thegayhare]

Giant robots.

giant robot ninjas piloted by cannibal zombie pirates

[Ryudo Lee]

No no, they can't be ninjas.  Giant robots usually work solo or in groups of two to five, and then the law of inverse ninja strength would come into play.  So they would have to be normal giant robots piloted by cannibal zombie pirates.

[Catffeinated]

No, no... Just have an OMFG-sized robot ninja piloted by a cannibalistic zombie pirate. OMFG- sized robots are SO huge, two couldn't fit on a continent, so it's perfect!

[lucas marcone]

but then it's weakened by everyother ninja robot on the continent. because it works by relitive closeness. not just if they work together or not.

[thegayhare]

but then it's weakened by everyother ninja robot on the continent. because it works by relitive closeness. not just if they work together or not.

not exactly
if that was true then the examples of a few ninja defeating a whole clan wouldn't work because then the solitary ninja would be as weak as his foes

the law states that the more ninja allies the ninja has the weaker they are individualy

[Fuyudenki]

I'm quite familiar with this fact.  I'm just glad nobody else in my group is Ninja.  Even I only try, so the law of inverse Ninja strength is now working in my favor.  That is, since I constitute fewer than one Ninja, but am attempting to use the ninja strength, so the equation has a 0<N<1 on top, yielding an actual increase in my Ninja potency!

Ninjas emit a ninja supression field that doesn't work on them.
-Zoria.

Giant robots.

yes.

[lucas marcone]

exactly hare,,,,if they are allies they dont have to be fighting side by side. i mean look at the war on terror how many of the US's(before you start bashing i Am an american...) allies are still helping out?

[Brunhidden]

There has been speculation as to if zombies follow the inverse law of ninja- the theory being that a horde of zombies is incredibly easy to slay to the point of small children with sticks racking up massive body counts while small groups or lone zombies being able to take down entire cities.

i theorize that the zombies have their own law, a parabolic law of zombie- a single zombie is nearly as useless as a thousand zombies, but a group somewhere between ten and thirty zombies seems to be nigh invincible.

this however begs the question- what, if anything, actually IS strongest in quantities of two hundred or more?

Do ents get morning wood?

[Ryudo Lee]

Collosal robots.

[RJ]

What about SPAAAAARTANS? (I think the law works there too...)

Oh, and Vikings. Vikings are cool. But they'd probably get beaten up by Amazons pretty easily. The Law of Perversion means the Vikings will be pointing and staring until they get clobbered over the head and fall over.


Hmm, I think I've been thinking too much into this.

[Alondro]

Oh, and Vikings. Vikings are cool. But they'd probably get beaten up by Amazons pretty easily. The Law of Perversion means the Vikings will be pointing and staring until they get clobbered over the head and fall over.

Hence the Sexy No Jutsu.   

[Reese Tora]

this however begs the question- what, if anything, actually IS strongest in quantities of two hundred or more?

Lead shot