Story begining: GunBunny (Warning voilance)

[thegayhare]

hello all

I've had this story on Ice for awhile now and wanted to know if you folks thought I should finish it.

I have the  outline worked out but I'm not sure I'm all that good at writting action.  Basically I want to do this in stages to hopefully perfect it as time goes by.

anyway here is the story start...

______

The jungle surrounds him as he moves stealthily through the brush.  His fur subtly shifts to blend in with the lush jungle growth as he moves closer to his target.  Some where in the recesses of his mind a conversation is playing out.

"Are you sure he can't hear us?" says the first voice.  It's a deep voice, some one used to giving commands. The voice of some one who's more at home to shouting then talking.

"No sir, what I'm saying is that it dozen't matter if he hears us." This second voice is a thin weedy sort of voice.  "The test subjects original personality was completely expunged.  So even if he can hear us there is no one there to remember it."

However the weedy voiced man is wrong.  Somewhere this conversation is getting filed away.  The rabbit crouches on a cliff looking down over what appears to be a military compound hidden in the jungle.  The sensor array implanted into his skull to replace his eyes switches into thermal mode and he spends a moment watching the patterns of the guards on patrol.

"There seems to be some static over the visual feeds..." Grumbles Deep.

The Weedy voice pipes up. "That's just a momentary lapse sir.  The transmission is switching from one satellite to another.  It should be cleared up momentarily."

From his perch the Rabbit has analyzed the weakest point in the patrol pattern.  He unholsters his MPSG and takes aim.  The laser designator in his faceplate marks his target as the on board computer adjusts for drop and wind resistance.  The weapon is silenced so there is barely a sound as the guard drops to the ground her life oozing onto the jungle floor from the holes in her throat and her heart.  The rabbit drops to the ground making no more noise then his weapon.  He quickly gathers up the dead guard and drags her out of sight before continuing his infiltration of the base.

"Hmmm nicely done, nicely done."  Deep mutters grudgingly.

Weedy ignores him, "Simons, please make a note he hesitated or a moment before pulling the trigger, we'll run a diagnostic once the subject is back with us."

The rabbit moves slowly through the compound now.  His fur still reacting with his environment, the colors shifting to match his surroundings as he makes his way towards his target.

"Why has he slowed down so much?"  Growls Deep starting to get impatient.

"Well sir," answers Weedy. "His directives state that stealth is the most vital part of his current mission.  If he's spotted or his target is blocked he'll break cover and kill but till then He's doing his best to stay unnoticed.  And it takes time to analyze the best possible routes with least chances of being seen."

Deep with in the jungle the rabbit has finally reached his objective.  The outside of the command building is unguarded but there is a single security camera covering the approach.  It's simple enough to dash forward when the camera pans away and huddle in the blind spot as the rabbit slips threw the doorway.  He scans the corridor ahead of him.  His sensors picking up two heat signatures fairly close and a larger cluster a little further into the building. 

"Now General," says Weedy almost gushing with excitement, "you've seen the prototypes snipping capabilities already, and since this is a chance for use to show you just what this model can do his combat priorities will now switch over to close combat."

As the rabbit creeps down the hall he reaches back undoing the buckle that holds his sword in place.  There are two men guarding the door, talking back and forth about nothing of import.  He's on them in a second his sword coming down in a precision cut slicing through the first mans throat before he can react leaving nothing but a soft gurgle and shower of blood.  The second guard manages to bark a sharp "Hey!" before the tip of the blade slides between his ribs and into his lungs.  With a hard kick the door flies open knocking an investigating officer back into a heavy piece of equipment.  The rabbit follows quickly.  Most are too shocked to react and die before they realize what is happening.  However the base commander manages to draw her side arm and fire once before blade stops her heart.

"Now he's done it.  That gunshot is going to draw a crowd.  I bet your little tinker toy can't handle that now can he," grumbles Deep you can almost hear the grin in his voice.

"Never fear sir," says Weedy. "We planned for all occasions.  Simons send the command code to switch him from infiltration to combat/demolition."

In the field the rabbit goes very still as a new list of directives loads in his head.  He can see the heat signatures as the guards come rushing drawn to the sound of gunshots.  Within moments he's in motion again.  He slaps a satchel charge on the command terminal before leaping through the open doorway.  He catches the first group of soldiers off guard as a burst of automatic fire from his silenced weapon cuts down the front row.   The rabbit backpedals as the soldiers return fire. There sharp retorts drowning out the soft chuffing noises from his gun.  At the end of the he palms another small satchel charge and slaps it on the wall out of sight.  The rabbit pauses his gun suddenly roaring as the built in grenade launcher fires an explosive round down the corridor.  The soldiers that survive the blast retreat and regroup outside as the rabbit charges down the corridor slapping a third charge into place midway and the forth at the bend.  He scoops up an assault rifle from a fallen guard.  With a weapon in each hand he makes for the outside before the charges bring the whole building down around him.

Somewhere, half a continent away, the horrific scenes of death and carnage are watched across several screens.  Technicians are watching banks of monitors, taking notes on the impassive killing machines vital signs.  In the center of the room a large bear in a crisp military uniform towers over a rat in a business suit.  The bear turns away from the screens and fixes his gaze on the timid man before him.  His milky glass eye seeming to stare even harder then the real one.  "Hmmm it looks like your toy can deliver as promised." comes the deep growl of the general. "Retrieve him once the base is gone and run your tests.  If everything checks out I'll authorize full production."

[Nikki]

*claps* i luff it! you MUST finish it!

[Tapewolf]

That's pretty good, in a dark sort of way.

[Zedd]

Dark maybe..But good writiting..

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I read it earlier, and...

well, it brings into mind a book called "Weapon" by.. by... nuts. I last read it over 13 years ago. Let me see if Amazon can help, here...

Ah. Robert Mason.

Now, Robert takes a different approach, very different, and I'll be interested to see what *other* parallels you bring up.

I'll leave it at that, since I don't want to pollute you with other stories until you've got this one organised, or at least started a bit more :-) I still want to see where you're going.

[Paladin Sheppard]

TGH this rocks I can't wait for more 

[thegayhare]

I read it earlier, and...

Yeah I did post it before to the nice forum but I wanted to start work on it again

well, it brings into mind a book called "Weapon" by.. by... nuts. I last read it over 13 years ago. Let me see if Amazon can help, here...

Ah. Robert Mason.

Now, Robert takes a different approach, very different, and I'll be interested to see what *other* parallels you bring up.

I'll leave it at that, since I don't want to pollute you with other stories until you've got this one organised, or at least started a bit more :-) I still want to see where you're going.

Realy? never read it I'll have to look it up some time


The basic Idea for this story was sometihng I had orriginaly thought up t be a short film.  So I know where I want it to go from here no worries there.

I've noticed a few things I think I'll change in the story though.  just a few small details.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I read it earlier, and...

Yeah I did post it before to the nice forum but I wanted to start work on it again

I meant earlier today, actually. I was just thinking about it before posting. :-)

... well, that and I was going to pm you a couple of typos... :-)

[thegayhare]

Ohh Sowwy
*sheepish grins*

[Boog]

Cool story TGH. Can't wait to see where it goes. The narrative kinda reminds me of the Bolo books a little, the way it only says what happens; no signs of personallity from the narrator.

Memo to self; check out this Weapon book Llearch mentioned.

[luiqui]

I really liked it! That was a very nicely done action scene, and it's gotten me hooked and ready for more.

[thegayhare]

again edited by llearch
*hugs*

part two

Shortly after the transport chopper touched down, the tactical unit marched the rabbit on board.  Six men surrounded him, the soldiers equipment and armor doing much to conceal their species.  Five of the soldiers held positions, with their weapons focused on the rabbit, as the sixth attached the restraints.  Massive steel manacles that encase each forearm from the elbow up, these are then fastened to a chest piece.  Shackles are placed over the legs to hobble him, before the final precaution is put in place.  A small but powerful electro static generator is strapped to the prototype's back, a power cord is then slipped into a socket fitted into the back of the rabbit's skull.  With the push of a button, the killing machine can now be brought down.

The precautions in place, the soldiers let their guards down, and manhandle the rabbit into one of the choppers many benches, quickly strapping him in before getting ready to take off.  One of the soldiers sits down across from the nearly naked rabbit, staring at the face plate.  "The damn thing creeps me out, Sarge." His voice comes out muffled by the face plate of his helmet.

The sergeant, a big, tall man, fairly broad across at the shoulders but, oddly, bearing no symbol of rank, turns to the soldier who spoke, "Shut it now, trooper!" he shouts.

"But Sarge," the first man gripes, "Just look at it.  It hasn't moved an inch on it's own since we got here.  Hasn't said a damn thing either.  I mean it was just standing there, in the middle of the base, like a statue in a graveyard." 

"I said shut it, trooper!" The big man marches over to stand over the unlucky soldier, the full weight of his anger radiating out from his eyes. "And show some respect.  He's a person not an it.  And if you're damn lucky, he'll be your replacement."

The soldier cringes in fear before speaking up again. "What the hell do you mean, Sarge?  If I'm lucky, that thing replaces us, we'll all be out of a job!"

The big man growls now, lowering his voice, just a bit. "Yeah,  but you'll be alive and you'll still be you.  If you're unlucky, you'll end up dead, or worse, just like this poor bastard.  Look at his right shoulder, thats an airborn tattoo. He was a soldier once, just like us.  So, I say, shut it and show some fucking respect!"  That last line was delivered at a full throated roar, screaming down at the now cowed soldier.

Somewhere, deep in the back of the rabbit's mind, this was just another conversation, filed away for later use.

The rest of the trip was uneventful.  The squad sat in a sullen silence, just waiting for this mission to end.  After hours of waiting, it finally did, as the transport set down at the top secret research lab.  Most of the squad immediately disembarked, fanning out in a perimeter, making sure no one dared approach the ship as they waited.  On board, the Sergent unbuckled the rabbit and pointed him down the ramp.  Marching two steps behind the prototype, escorting him into the base.  At the bottom of the ramp, the rabbit turns his head quickly, visually scanning the horizon for any threats the soldiers might miss.  He resumes his forward march, walking purposefully toward the facilities main gates, but half way there the rabbit stops, his sensors focus intently on something in the jungle.  A sharp push from the Sargent gets the prototype moving once again, but he doesn't notice.  His mind is working overtime, trying to process what he just saw, his threat database comes up empty, the same with personnel, and any known form of aircraft.  However, there is another reaction, deep inside the blank mind of that killing machine, something is growing.  The sight of a simple little butterfly has thrown the computers into turmoil, long enough for that feeling to grow louder.  He doesn't speak, he still can't just yet, but the soldiers escorting him in don't notice his mouth struggling to form a word, even though he can't make a sound.  With the vision of that butterfly fluttering through his mind, the word "pretty" seems to be on the killing machine's lips.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Nuts. I knew I was going to look something up on www.dict.org when I got to work.

it's "sergeant". I knew it looked wrong somehow. :-/

[Zedd]

Nice page twoness TGH...You win a popeyes butter biskut

[Tapewolf]

I kind of thought it would take longer for that to start happening.  Nice work, though.

[mini-lion]

this would be sweet illustrated, my mind can only go so far

[e_voyager]

i guess i ams lucke to be bless ore is it cures wit ha vivad imanagation

[thegayhare]

this would be sweet illustrated, my mind can only go so far

Its odd you shoud say that for two reasons

one the story I worked out for this was actualy a short film Idea

and second  I actualy did coble together a image to illustrate what I wanted him to look like.  I asked my sis to draw the bunny but she never got round to it



Like I said just a cobble job

[LionHeart]

'Tis a good story, TGH.

I did a bit of tinkering with your pic there. See what you think...

[Paladin Sheppard]

LH! Nice work man!

[Zedd]

Killer! Thats fucking awsome how people reedit pics like that