The Clockwork Mansion

The Grand Hallway => The Outer Fortress => Topic started by: Cvstos on April 07, 2007, 12:24:19 AM

Title: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Cvstos on April 07, 2007, 12:24:19 AM
... and I'm not kidding.  A couple days ago a coyote walked casually into a restaurant.  Specifically a Chicago Quiznos.  It strolled up to the cooler and hopped in for a sit.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17950832/

That's a link to the story.  There's a video there as well.  Too bad Quiznos doesn't serve road runner. ;)
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Jim Halisstrad on April 07, 2007, 12:34:05 AM
Thats pretty amusing.
And the coyote wasn't hurt, that makes me happy :3
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: xHaZxMaTx on April 07, 2007, 12:38:25 AM
I didn't even know coyotes were native to Chicago. :P
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Paladin Sheppard on April 07, 2007, 12:58:03 AM
That be one cool Coyote! :3
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Aridas on April 07, 2007, 01:00:27 AM
They should've left him alone to keep cool.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: superluser on April 07, 2007, 01:02:26 AM
``And I'll also have a SoBe...no, that's all right, you keep it.  I'll just do without.''

Quote from: Paladin Sheppard on April 07, 2007, 12:58:03 AMThat be one cool Coyote! :3

Five minutes in the punalty box!
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: thegayhare on April 07, 2007, 01:04:27 AM
Quote from: superluser on April 07, 2007, 01:02:26 AM
``And I'll also have a SoBe...no, that's all right, you keep it.  I'll just do without.''

Quote from: Paladin Sheppard on April 07, 2007, 12:58:03 AMThat be one cool Coyote! :3

Five minutes in the punalty box!

Is that the one with the coyote in it?
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: xHaZxMaTx on April 07, 2007, 01:11:29 AM
Quote from: superluser on April 07, 2007, 01:02:26 AM
``And I'll also have a SoBe...no, that's all right, you keep it.  I'll just do without.''

Quote from: Paladin Sheppard on April 07, 2007, 12:58:03 AMThat be one cool Coyote! :3

Five minutes in the punalty box!
Nah, he's just chillin'.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Jim Halisstrad on April 07, 2007, 01:13:49 AM
These puns are all bark and no bite :<
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Saist on April 07, 2007, 03:54:30 AM
Well, that Coyote certain has something to howl about now.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Valynth on April 07, 2007, 04:20:16 AM
phe, thats nothing.  Down here deer run though stores and actually cause damages due to their running.  And hopefully I've broken this thread's puny ways.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: llearch n'n'daCorna on April 07, 2007, 05:22:12 AM
Quote from: Valynth on April 07, 2007, 04:20:16 AM
phe, thats nothing.  Down here deer run though stores and actually cause damages due to their running.  And hopefully I've broken this thread's puny ways.

I doubt it. We're pretty much all incorrigible punsters, here. After all, who would we incorrige, otherwise?
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Zedd on April 07, 2007, 05:25:09 AM
I rember when a male buck ran through a spencers once breaking everything
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Faerie Alex on April 07, 2007, 08:56:53 AM
I head one about a cougar in Central Park (Manhattan). I'm still surprised it was able to cross a bridge without anyone noticing.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Illusionist on April 07, 2007, 10:54:50 AM
A fox walked into M&S (in Bluewater) recently.

It went to sleep in one of the window displays.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Aisha deCabre on April 07, 2007, 01:47:15 PM
Aw, sleeping in the cooler, that's so cute!  :U  You gotta love it sometimes when there are animals who show no fear of humans.  Always fascinating.

'Course the closest kinda experience we get where I am is a possum walking across someone's yard.   :rolleyes
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Tapewolf on April 07, 2007, 01:53:35 PM
Quote from: Illusionist on April 07, 2007, 10:54:50 AM
A fox walked into M&S (in Bluewater) recently.

Neat.  Have you got a news article about that?

And yeah, nice one with the coyote.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: thegayhare on April 07, 2007, 02:48:47 PM
last fall a moose walked threw my yard to watch football practice
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: EvilIguana966 on April 07, 2007, 02:59:33 PM
Coyotes are nearly genetically identical to domestic dogs.  This one was apparently even more so than most.  He was hot, so he plopped down by the nearest human-created cooling device and took a little nap.  Mine do that all the time, so who knows, maybe he wouldn't have minded if the patrons gave him a few scritchies on the neck and behind the ears.  Of course, being a wild canine he would be the one who decides when YOU start and stop serving him, but otherwise he's (almost) just like Fido!

Seriously though, coyotes and wolves tend to get portrayed as a lot more ferocious than they really are.  Not that I recommend testing them too closely.  Their main conflict with us anymore is that they appreciate a lot of the same foods that we do, only a bit rarer. 
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: GabrielsThoughts on April 07, 2007, 03:34:57 PM
that poor deluded coyote. honestly Quizno's sandwiches are disgusting, as anyone who has eaten their prime rib can tell you. the meat they use (at least in the few sandwiches I've eaten at one particular store) isn't lean. meaning it is mostly processed  animal fat, possibly 45% meat,  and tastes positively disgusting. I don't care how toasty their sandwiches are, that's no excuse for poor quality meat.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: bill on April 07, 2007, 05:44:49 PM
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on April 07, 2007, 03:34:57 PM
that poor deluded coyote. honestly Quizno's sandwiches are disgusting, as anyone who has eaten their prime rib can tell you. the meat they use (at least in the few sandwiches I've eaten at one particular store) isn't lean. meaning it is mostly processed  animal fat, possibly 45% meat,  and tastes positively disgusting. I don't care how toasty their sandwiches are, that's no excuse for poor quality meat.
You are tripping, I assume. Quizno's subs are amazing.  :U
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: xHaZxMaTx on April 07, 2007, 06:06:45 PM
Subway > Quizno's

'Nuff said.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: bill on April 07, 2007, 06:07:40 PM
Quote from: Hazzy on April 07, 2007, 06:06:45 PM
Subway > Quizno's

'Nuff said.
Fail.  :cry
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Saist on April 07, 2007, 06:54:07 PM
Quote from: BillBuckner on April 07, 2007, 05:44:49 PM
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on April 07, 2007, 03:34:57 PM
that poor deluded coyote. honestly Quizno's sandwiches are disgusting, as anyone who has eaten their prime rib can tell you. the meat they use (at least in the few sandwiches I've eaten at one particular store) isn't lean. meaning it is mostly processed  animal fat, possibly 45% meat,  and tastes positively disgusting. I don't care how toasty their sandwiches are, that's no excuse for poor quality meat.
You are tripping, I assume. Quizno's subs are amazing.  :U

I dunno... I've eaten at Quizno's on both the east and west coast.  The west coast subs have always... well... they don't taste the same really. I've always figured it was my imagination playing tricks on me.

A lot of the food quality is also dependent on the quality of the store. If you have an owner or a set of managers who don't care about the food, Quizno's can be as bad as Subway. (yes, I went there).

If you have an owner or managers who do care, then you can get a great tasting sub.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: bill on April 07, 2007, 07:30:07 PM
The Ultimate Italian subs at the one I go to (Nashua, NH) are amazing.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: superluser on April 07, 2007, 10:58:17 PM
Quote from: thegayhare on April 07, 2007, 02:48:47 PMlast fall a moose walked threw my yard to watch football practice

Did anyone try to carve their initials in it?

Quote from: Evil.Iguana on April 07, 2007, 02:59:33 PMThis one was apparently even more so than most.  He was hot, so he plopped down by the nearest human-created cooling device and took a little nap.

Here's the thing, though.  How would he have known that the inside of the cooler was cold unless he'd done it before?  Also, it's not very hot out right now.  The coyote would probably be more likely to find a steam grate to lie down on.

Also also: as to subs, can we all agree that Blimpie subs are the worst?
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: llearch n'n'daCorna on April 08, 2007, 04:30:05 AM
I've had Subway in the UK and NZ. NZ beats anything else, hands down - the UK ones just have inferior ingredients.

As for food in the states? Well... I've only eaten in Maui, so I dunno about fast food over there, but I hear it's pretty substandard. I -do- think the mangoes are nice, particularly when you pull them off the tree yourself...
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: bill on April 08, 2007, 08:30:15 AM
Fast food is actually pretty good as a substitute for actual food.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Brunhidden on April 08, 2007, 08:58:34 AM
this brings back bad memories of my youth. coyotes were a big problem, being one of the only animals around that approached our house. not only did they approach, they also looked in the windows, and of course on the dark extra creepy nights they would paw at the bedroom window and make very hungry sounding noises.

coyotes are a bit odd, their lack of fear for human establishments mean they get lots of territory other animals don't get, they have access to a wide variety of small domestic animals, other predators leave them alone, all the garbage they can eat, and oh yeah the guns.

it says something about a predator when it can have its but whupped by an 8 year old boy who does not have a firearm, what it says is not very positive but it says it nonetheless.

QuoteI came, I saw, I got the T-shirt
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Kenji on April 08, 2007, 10:41:41 AM
Reminds me of that one comedian who had that joke that was along the lines of "If I was working at a store and a duck come in and took a loaf of bread..... I'd let him go." >.>
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Destina Faroda on April 08, 2007, 07:03:17 PM
I'm actually more appaled by the behavior of the customers than by the coyote.

I know you can't run from a coyote, as that would trigger it to chase you and kill you.  But to actually take pictures and finish their meals instead of either immeditately getting away and/or shooting that animal is like draping a "sucide" sign around your neck.  Don't they know that the coyote might have been stopping in there to make a meal out of the customers?  Or even if it was full, that it would attack a person for any reason it deems provocation?

A coyote is a wild animal and a danger to the public.  Why don't people realize this?
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Aisha deCabre on April 08, 2007, 07:10:44 PM
I wouldn't be so quick to assume that.  Coyotes are kinda small wild dogs, smaller than wolves, and though they aren't as shy around humans you hardly hear of attacks on them for prey.  If you watched the news video you'd have seen animal control dragging it off.  It's too small to actively prey on a person.

Especially when coyotes only really prey on smaller mammals.  And there was only one of it, outnumbered by people so many times more to one.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: superluser on April 08, 2007, 07:26:01 PM
Quote from: Aisha deCabre on April 08, 2007, 07:10:44 PMCoyotes are kinda small wild dogs, smaller than wolves, and though they aren't as shy around humans you hardly hear of attacks on them for prey.  If you watched the news video you'd have seen animal control dragging it off.  It's too small to actively prey on a person.

Especially when coyotes only really prey on smaller mammals.  And there was only one of it, outnumbered by people so many times more to one.

I gotta disagree.  A chimpanzee has an average mass of 40-60kg(*), and it could easily kill a man in an unarmed fight.  Coyotes have an average mass of 35kg(+).  If you get into a fight with a coyote, you're probably liable to require reconstructive surgery at the least.  Plus rabies, worms, fleas, &c.

On the other hand, it was in the drink cooler with the door closed.  Not too threatening.  If it advances, you just stick a broom through the handles.


(*) http://pin.primate.wisc.edu/factsheets/entry/chimpanzee
(+) http://www.dec.state.ny.us/website/dfwmr/wildlife/wildgame/coyconfl.htm
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: xHaZxMaTx on April 08, 2007, 08:41:44 PM
There's no door on the drink cooler. ;)
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Cvstos on April 08, 2007, 08:55:16 PM
Destina: Coyote and Wolf attacks are exceedingly rare, even more so when rabies isn't involved.  These aren't as big as you'd think, and coyotes rarely attack things bigger than it.  Only wolves go after large prey.  Coyotes are only concerned with stuff smaller than it. 

In fact, if you were to take the wolf and coyote attack list and remove everything caused by rabies and people provoking the animal, the list would be extremely short. 

In California, about one person per year is bitten by a coyote, and of those very few actually cause anything even requiring stitches.  Most of the time the attacks will involve very small children (again, they look for things smaller than them), but even then you're looking at only a handful of incidents nationwide.  To put this in perspective, millions of kids a year are bitten by domestic dogs.  Now which animal is a problem again?

Wolves are larger, more powerful, and potentially far more dangerous.  However, they don't live where we do.  Urban coyotes are common.  Wolves require areas largely left untouched by humans.  Urban wolves are really only found at zoos.  Hence, actual human-wolf contact in an uncontrolled environment is extremely rare.

Thus, the list of wolf attacks on humans is even shorter than that of coyotes!  This is especially true in North America, and as rabies declines the attacks get rarer and rarer.  You are thousands and thousands of times more likely to be hit by lightning than injured by coyote or wolf attack. 
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: superluser on April 08, 2007, 10:02:02 PM
Then there are the dingoes.  I hear the ones around Ayers Rock can be especially dangerous. (There was a tourist at a rock; a dingo ate her baby.  D-I-N-G-O, D-I-N-G-O, D-I-N-G-O, a dingo ate her baby.)
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Boog on April 08, 2007, 11:22:01 PM
A Curious Coyote Cantered into Quizno's. The Canny Customers couldn't bother avoiding the calm carnavore, and instead comenced clicking cameras.

Alright, I'm done. Back to the amusing mental image of Wile E ordering a road runner wrap to go.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: GabrielsThoughts on April 09, 2007, 12:52:31 PM
Coyotes are adorable. With fully functional teeth when they are born, they are probably hell on their momma's titty; but I've seen no evidence that they're any more dangerous than a Toy poodle or a Fox. Not to mention there are Coydogs Coyfoxes and Coywolves in the wild
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Cvstos on April 09, 2007, 01:54:37 PM
Actually foxes can only interbreed with other foxes.  The Vulpes genetic makeup is closer to cats than dogs, as I understand it.  They just can't mix with canines.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Alondro on April 09, 2007, 04:04:17 PM
Heh, these people actualy gained my respect a bit by NOT freaking out.  Here in Jersey we have huge numbers of city-bred twits migrating into the woods who are afraid of squirrels, groundhogs, and vultures.

Not to mention, coyotes are quite small compared to the animals I've worked with.  And if I can handle those, I think a coyote would be no problem at all.  I worked with tigers for a year.  Tigers.  24 of them.  I hardly think a little doggie-like critter is a match for me.

If you can't take the wild, stay in the city and choke to death on yer damn smog!  The critters an us ge5ts along jes fine.   :B
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Destina Faroda on April 10, 2007, 12:30:17 AM
Quote from: Alondro on April 09, 2007, 04:04:17 PM
Heh, these people actualy gained my respect a bit by NOT freaking out.  Here in Jersey we have huge numbers of city-bred twits migrating into the woods who are afraid of squirrels, groundhogs, and vultures.

Not to mention, coyotes are quite small compared to the animals I've worked with.  And if I can handle those, I think a coyote would be no problem at all.  I worked with tigers for a year.  Tigers.  24 of them.  I hardly think a little doggie-like critter is a match for me.

If you can't take the wild, stay in the city and choke to death on yer damn smog!  The critters an us ge5ts along jes fine.   :B

What the heck?

Maybe you've been trained to work with animals, but you're an exception to the rule.

I've seen what happens to people when wild animals lose their fear of people.  Even "cute" herbivores like rabbits and squirrels will gang up on people, rummage through their stuff, steal food, and scratch and bite.  If the animals ever decided to gang up and turn against people, we'd be so screwed that we'd have to nuke the planet to make sure they didn't win.

The fact is that that animals not only naturally have more muscle mass (as mentioned before, an average unarmed chimpanzee could easily kill even a proferssional athlete in a one-on-one match), but they have things like fangs, other oversized teeth, claws, and disease to end a human's life very quickly.  Coyotes are one of these animals.  And saying they aren't much more dangerous than dogs is faint praise, given how many deaths and injuries can be attributed to domesticated dogs.

And as far as people staying out of the wild, the coyote came into the restaurant.  It's a tragedy someone wasn't packing heat and didn't shoot that bastard on sight.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Aridas on April 10, 2007, 12:42:55 AM
People go out into the wild. It's tragedy when animals aren't packing heat and don't shoot those bastards on sight.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: superluser on April 10, 2007, 12:57:15 AM
Quote from: Destina Faroda on April 10, 2007, 12:30:17 AMIt's a tragedy someone wasn't packing heat and didn't shoot that bastard on sight.

Yeah.  Real tragedy.  Do you know how much blood those things have in them?  If you want to clean that up while observing biohazard standards for handling of blood (so that you don't lose your license to the Health Board), be my guest.

If you had a tranquilizer, you could down the coyote without spilling a drop of blood, and get away with simply spraying some germicidal cleaner.  The coyote could be destroyed elsewhere.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Destina Faroda on April 10, 2007, 01:24:43 AM
That's true.  Maybe they could put some antifreeze in a Fido's bowl and give it to the coyote, then shoot it with a tranquilizer.  Then again, since it's so cold, they might actually need the antifreeze...
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: xHaZxMaTx on April 10, 2007, 02:10:49 AM
Animals are stronger, have claws and teeth, etc., etc., but humans have animals outnumbered in brain power a billion to one (not literally, but you get my point).
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Cvstos on April 10, 2007, 02:40:22 AM
Again, coyotes rarely go after things larger than themselves, and coyote attacks on humans are exceedingly rare.  You're far more likely to be bitten by a domestic dog than a coyote.  In fact, coyotes are rather small and weigh only about 35 pounds.  A healthy adult human with their wits about them could beat a coyote senseless, which is exactly why coyotes avoid attacking things larger than them.  I'd image the thought patterns of the coyote going into the restaurant were something along the lines of: "Hey, it's nice in here.  Good smells, too.  Oh, humans, that's cool.  Wow, it's really nice 'n refreshing in this big black thing.  I'm gonna hang out here for a while."  

My little sheltie weighs about 25 lbs.  (He's big for a sheltie.  Beyond show spec.)  That means that a coyote isn't that much bigger than he is.  My Golden Retriever is about 70 lbs, which is far heavier and larger than a coyote.  I'd imagine that when he was in his prime he would be more than a match for a coyote.  That is, if he wasn't the sweetest, most forgiving pile of pudding you ever saw.  He might just let a coyote eat him and forgive him for it.  

German Shepards, used for decades by police and the military, average around 80 lbs and are far more dangerous than a coyote.

To put this in contrast, a timber wolf, one of the largest of all wild canines, ranges from 70 to a whopping 135 pounds.  This means that a runt of a wolf will outmass an average coyote by a factor of two.  In fact, if you hear coyotes howling, playing a recording of a wolf howl will likely stop them and scatter any coyotes in earshot.  Why?  Wolves sometimes prey on coyotes.  (The only wild canines that are larger are variations of the Timber Wolf - the Russian Wolf and Tundra Wolf.  At least, so far as I know.  There might be others, but I think that even if I did miss a larger variant, these are very close to the largest.)

(Wolves and coyotes both prey on foxes, which top out at about 15 lbs.  Foxes are very light, almost cat-like.  In fact, that have the same vertical pupils as cats do.)
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Alondro on April 10, 2007, 04:55:27 AM
I always think it's hilarious when the little woodland creatures gang up on people.  Geese are notorious for that.  Watching grown men run screaming from a bunch of honking birds is simply a wonderous sight.

Those people need to grow a pair.  We scientists have developed artificial hormones to help with that very thing!

That, and to develop hyper-steroided attack animals to destroy the inferiors of the human race so only the Illuminate remain.   >:3
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: llearch n'n'daCorna on April 10, 2007, 06:34:53 AM
Quote from: Cvstos on April 10, 2007, 02:40:22 AM
... A healthy adult human with their wits about them...

Aye. And therein lies the rub...
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: thegayhare on April 10, 2007, 08:52:27 AM
Quote from: Alondro on April 10, 2007, 04:55:27 AM
I always think it's hilarious when the little woodland creatures gang up on people.  Geese are notorious for that.  Watching grown men run screaming from a bunch of honking birds is simply a wonderous sight.

Well to be honest hon Geese are nasty, mean, and vicous birds.  Prone to attack anything intering there territory.  Some places use them as guard animals.  Plus goose bites hurt like hell or so I've been told.

Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Kasarn on April 10, 2007, 08:57:05 AM
One time, long ago, I fed the geese at my school. NEVER AGAIN! >:O

(p.s. just thought I'd add that I was only 12 at the time :P )
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Jim Halisstrad on April 10, 2007, 09:49:35 AM
(http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n192/jimdarkwolf/Coyote_Stretching_On_Roadway_9371.jpg)




I'm sorry that you were apparently molested by wildlife when you were a kid :<
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Tapewolf on April 10, 2007, 02:32:10 PM
Quote from: Destina Faroda on April 10, 2007, 12:30:17 AM
And as far as people staying out of the wild, the coyote came into the restaurant.  It's a tragedy someone wasn't packing heat and didn't shoot that bastard on sight.

If I were to do something like that in the UK, I would be crucified.

Say I was a farmer with a shotgun license (as you probably know, guns are highly restricted in the UK).  If a fox or a stray Alsatian (which is far and away more dangerous than the coyote) strolled into a restaurant and I blew its head off there and then, the RSPCA would go positively apeshit.  They'd throw the book at me.

I'd probably be looking at at least 10-15 years for just that, to say nothing of any civil lawsuits brought about by the restaurant owners, distraught onlookers, parents of traumatised children and so forth.  The public outcry alone could bring it up to 20 years in pokey.  People would probably lay flowers or hold a vigil or something where the beast was shot.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Cvstos on April 10, 2007, 02:54:45 PM
Translation for Americans: According to wikipedia, Alsatian = German Shepard
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: superluser on April 10, 2007, 03:41:59 PM
Quote from: Tapewolf on April 10, 2007, 02:32:10 PMIf I were to do something like that in the UK, I would be crucified.

To be fair, it's the same in the US.  It varies from state to state, but in Illinois, that would probably be 720 ILCS 5/24‑1.2 Aggravated discharge of a firearm(*), a class 1 felony, carrying a sentence of up to 50 years and $50,000.  At the very least, it would be Reckless discharge of a firearm, class 4 felony, up to 10 years and $20,000.

Don't know what it's like wherever Destina is.


(*) A person commits aggravated discharge of a firearm when he or she knowingly or intentionally discharges a firearm at or into a building he or she knows or reasonably should know to be occupied and the firearm is discharged from a place or position outside that building;
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: llearch n'n'daCorna on April 10, 2007, 05:20:44 PM
So... if you check to make sure there's nobody in the line of fire and that there's a solid backstop and minimal risk of ricochet... you can still get done for reckless discharge of a firearm?
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: superluser on April 10, 2007, 05:43:32 PM
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on April 10, 2007, 05:20:44 PMSo... if you check to make sure there's nobody in the line of fire and that there's a solid backstop and minimal risk of ricochet... you can still get done for reckless discharge of a firearm?

If you fire it indoors in a public area without the threat of imminent bodily harm, probably.  You're not even supposed to discharge a weapon at all in Chicago--it's a $250-500 fine.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: EvilIguana966 on April 11, 2007, 10:45:39 AM
Quote from: Destina Faroda on April 10, 2007, 12:30:17 AM
Quote from: Alondro on April 09, 2007, 04:04:17 PM
Heh, these people actualy gained my respect a bit by NOT freaking out.  Here in Jersey we have huge numbers of city-bred twits migrating into the woods who are afraid of squirrels, groundhogs, and vultures.

Not to mention, coyotes are quite small compared to the animals I've worked with.  And if I can handle those, I think a coyote would be no problem at all.  I worked with tigers for a year.  Tigers.  24 of them.  I hardly think a little doggie-like critter is a match for me.

If you can't take the wild, stay in the city and choke to death on yer damn smog!  The critters an us ge5ts along jes fine.   :B

What the heck?

Maybe you've been trained to work with animals, but you're an exception to the rule.

I've seen what happens to people when wild animals lose their fear of people.  Even "cute" herbivores like rabbits and squirrels will gang up on people, rummage through their stuff, steal food, and scratch and bite.  If the animals ever decided to gang up and turn against people, we'd be so screwed that we'd have to nuke the planet to make sure they didn't win.

The fact is that that animals not only naturally have more muscle mass (as mentioned before, an average unarmed chimpanzee could easily kill even a proferssional athlete in a one-on-one match), but they have things like fangs, other oversized teeth, claws, and disease to end a human's life very quickly.  Coyotes are one of these animals.  And saying they aren't much more dangerous than dogs is faint praise, given how many deaths and injuries can be attributed to domesticated dogs.

And as far as people staying out of the wild, the coyote came into the restaurant.  It's a tragedy someone wasn't packing heat and didn't shoot that bastard on sight.

You have a very grim view of wildlife.  Now, I value human life above animal life in general.  I make exceptions of course for people whose impact on the world is fully negative.  I value the life of my dogs far more than I value the life of a militant Muslim terrorist for example.  However, I don't think people should shoot every wild animal they see because it has a minuscule chance of possibly maybe causing them harm.  Aside from the moral arguments, there are some very pragmatic functional arguments to be made as well.  We aren't so technologically advanced that we can replace or even completely understand the roles of every creature on the planet.  So just wiping out every animal that has bitey teeth and slashy claws would be a mistake. 

I certainly grant people the right to defend themselves from a wild animal.  But as others have pointed out that is a rare situation.  Most of the time when people and animals clash it's due in large part to the person simply not using his head.  Most animals do their best to avoid conflict with people.  Problems typically arise when a human forces the animal, intentionally or otherwise, into a situation where it has to interact.  A bit of knowledge is the best medicine in most cases.  Almost no animals would choose to eat a human over anything else.  As it turns out we are too much effort for too little reward and any creature that may have had us as a dietary staple long ago died out.  Animals are the ultimate pragmatists, they have to be to survive, so they prefer prey that provides the most nutritional value for the least amount of effort.  Humans don't fit that bill, so only desperate or sick beasts would kill a person to eat.

The diners did the correct thing.  They were never in any mortal danger and quite rightly took the opportunity to document a rare occurrence.  If the coyote had shown more aggression it would have been different.  Life would be really boring if you eliminated every tiny risk.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Alondro on April 11, 2007, 12:50:09 PM
Not to mention humans apparently don't taste very good.  ;)  Some sort of metabolic byproduct we harbor in our muscle which is bitter, if I recall.  I read that in a Nature journal article years ago... shoulda saved that one.   :B

And with sharks, it's almost always the case that the shark spits the person out after the first bite.  Sharks want prey with lots of fat, and since most surfers are very skinny or muscular, they're not what the sharks are after:  seals, which a swimming surfer mimics on his board, and the gangly movements are like those of a sick/injured seal... which says to the shark "Dinner Time!"  Then CRUNCH!  Ack!  What's this bony thing!  Bleah!   :mowtongue
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: EvilIguana966 on April 11, 2007, 01:11:56 PM
The thing about being a shark is, if you happen to be curious about what ANYTHING you see is, you only have one way of exploring it in detail.  A little exploratory bite from a great white is no minor thing for a human.  But you're right about shark attacks.  The fact of the matter is that if the sharks really wanted to eat the people they bite nobody would survive longer than a few seconds because they'd be ripped apart and swallowed not mutilated and left alone. 
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: thegayhare on April 11, 2007, 01:46:46 PM
Funny story I heard about sharks

Aparently the color yellow that most inflatable life rafts were made out of is now what shark biologists call Yum Yum Yellow.

Since for some reason to a sharks brain that particulare color just screams "FOOD!!"  and then along come humans who make all there emergancy flotation devices that color.

I think thats why there has been a shift to blaze orange
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: GabrielsThoughts on April 11, 2007, 04:44:50 PM
http://www.apetsblog.com/pets-journal/coydog-coyote-dog-hybrid.htm

and

http://www.jesseshunting.com/site/iframe.html?href=http%3A//www.jesseshunting.com/photopost/showphoto.php/photo/939/cat/503/limit/views

althogh the Coyfox looks more like a Coydog to me
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Cvstos on April 11, 2007, 06:51:52 PM
Foxes simply cannot interbreed with canines.  They're just too different.  Vertical pupils, semi-retractable claws, all kinds of physical differences.  The differences between wolf, dog, and coyote are far less drastic.  Although supposed dog-fox hybrids have been reported there has never, ever been a confirmed hybrid.  Most of the so-called "hybrids" have actually just been purely dog.  The cosmetic changes the canine species can go through are so vast that it's possible to make them kinda look like a fox - but so far no one has put forth a confirmed dog-fox hybrid.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canid_hybrid
http://ozfoxes.com/aafoxes.htm#DogFox
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Zorro on April 12, 2007, 12:35:48 AM
Large Cats, mainly Tigers and Lions are known to become Man-eaters in the wild.
Title: Another rant (a.k.a. I hate animals)
Post by: Destina Faroda on April 12, 2007, 09:43:20 AM
I thought sharks were colorblind.

Although probably humans don't smell or taste good enough to warrant killing en masse, I wouldn't trust any relatively large hungry predator or scavenger around me, even a coyote.  (Edit: Then again, I don't trusts larges hebivore around me either, since they'd probably trample me to death.  That makes killing them a pre-emptive strike.)  I don't think it's right as a society that we build up all this crap about not scaring or offending animals.  If a person were to attack another person, he'd go to jail -- and most people would agree with that's right.  But when an animal attacks another person, it's the human's fault.  Sometimes it is, of course (Roy Horn, Steve Irwin, etc) , but the worst part about it is thar even people who supposedly "know" the animals they're working with get injured, if not killied by them.  That's what makes animals dangerous.  Unlike humans, you can't communicate with them.  When an animal actually talks to me in intelligible, clear English and tells me its demands, then I'll change my stance.   Until then, I feel cities are a human habitat that disease-ridden animals have taken advantage of for far too long.

See the thing is that I value all human behings, including that of a terrorist.  That doesn't mean that terrorists may not have to be killed as a result of their actions against me or someone else, but that does mean that if there were a terrorist in the room chained to the wall, and a dog in the same room chained to the other wall and I had to kill one, I'd kill the dog without hesitation.  Any life other than human life means nothing to me.  The act of murder is nothing more than determining that a person is an animal.

And here's the saddest thing of all.  We're not supposed to provoke animals and such.  However, we don't dare extend that same courtesy to people.  When we're offended or brutalized, other people tell us to get a thicker skin and deal with it.  Why dismiss a person who is your equal and elevate an animal that is your inferior?
Title: Re: Another rant (a.k.a. I hate animals)
Post by: superluser on April 12, 2007, 11:11:53 AM
Quote from: Destina Faroda on April 12, 2007, 09:43:20 AMI thought sharks were colorblind.

I don't know what sort of colorblindness sharks are supposed to have, but they are probably able to see differences in value.

Quote from: Destina Faroda on April 12, 2007, 09:43:20 AMI don't think it's right as a society that we build up all this crap about not scaring or offending animals.

I make it a point to startle off any sizable non-domesticated animal that I see in an urban setting.  Mainly because I'm afraid that they'll run into people like you who might kill them.  Any animal that has lost its fear of humans is a danger to itself and to humans.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: xHaZxMaTx on April 12, 2007, 12:57:08 PM
Quote from: Destina Faroda on April 12, 2007, 09:43:20 AM
...I feel cities are a human habitat that disease-ridden animals have taken advantage of for far too long..
Well what do you expect when people invade their home and make their own home over it?  Relocating isn't always an option; a lot of animals are very particular about the surrounding environment.  So it's either stay where they are and be forced to interact with humans at one point or another, or die.  Though I'm sure you'd say the latter is more beneficial, since the animals are 'inferior' and apparently don't deserve a second thought.
Title: Re: So a coyote walks into a restaurant...
Post by: Cvstos on April 12, 2007, 02:05:01 PM
Didn't you just get through saying animals are hard to communicate with?  Humans are smarter than animals, and can reason.  Humans have a higher expectation of self control because we're, you know, humans!  That's why provocation isn't a very good defense for a human attacking another human, but a very logical defense for a human attacking an animal, wild or not.

And many animals do us a huge favor by living in cities.  Foxes and coyotes alike have settled into our urban areas, and feed mainly on things like rats, mice, and other small rodents that we find to be a much larger nuisance than the predators.  Foxes in particular are very good at working behind the scenes.  Most people in the US don't realize that they're now present in almost every major city, having a range of nearly the entire US and Canada, excepting the arctic circle (which belongs to the arctic fox), as well as nearly all of Eurasia!  (The coyote and red fox are a couple of animals who have adapted extremely well to human expansion.  Foxes in particular.  It's done so well that it's grown to have the widest range of any terrestrial carnivore!)