speech class is makeing me do a "process speech" wich is where i explain how to do something and i need ideas as to what i should ramble on about.
Set the time on a VCR.
How to perfectly cut your toenails so they are all the same length. Make sure to have a lengthy presentation.
I had to do something like that once... we all had to explain how to make a penut butter and jelly sandwhich... and the teacher would exactly follow our instructions
I screwed up because I forgot to explain you take the knife out of the jar before applying it to the bread
How to think of a boring topic for a presentation. (It really can work.)
Are you people serious?! :erk
This would... in the swedish school system... that'd... Is anyone expecting intelligence?
How to preform triple bypass surgery without anesthetic. Ask for volunteers.
Oh dear god, I had to do one of those once. Mine was about making orange juice, the concentrated kind that comes in a can. But apparently unlike in TGH's instance, it was presumed that the reader would have some level of intelligence, so you didn't have to go through every action like you were talking to a computer.
Quote from: HaZ×MaT on November 20, 2006, 05:37:19 PM
Set the time on a VCR.
That would actually work pretty well, especially if the VCR must be unplugged and brought in.
Or maybe a LEGO model. Even just a tiny one would create a massive paper. "Place the light grey brick that is one peg long by four pegs wide upright and centered perpendicularly over the lengthwise side-most pegs on the dark grey plate that is two pegs wide by six pegs long. Press the light grey brick down onto the dark grey plate." Damn, I should have used that back in elementary school...
I had to do that twice, once in HS and once in college. For the former I chose "how to recover control of your car when it hydroplanes", and for the latter I chose "how to make your house energy efficient".
I went into much more detail that either my teacher or prof expected, particularly with the WHY you do something.
But then, I'm an excellent public speaker.
Quote from: BillBuckner on November 20, 2006, 06:28:05 PM
How to preform triple bypass surgery without anesthetic. Ask for volunteers.
*evil grin*
Alternatively, speak for one minute, and one minute only, without hesitation, repetition, or deviation, on the subject of "the inside of a pingpong ball" starting now.
I have but one thing to say; the similarity between Llearch and pingpong balls is staggering! There is only one difference in material.
And shape. :P
And size.
Still sticking to your example?
And content.
Now, that last one was wrong, I'm sure.
Oh, give up, Styg.
True few ping pong balls are full of monkies
but I do know nine tenths of the human brain is used for storing pengiuns
You mean the ninety-nine percent of it that people mostly do not use?
(I am ragingly fishing for gibleeeeets!)
Last I checked, 9/10 is not equal to 99%.
No, the XBox 360 uses the rest of your brain to store saved games.
To somewhat link that back to the actual topic... explain in detail how to play a specific game. Alternately, explain how to obtain a PS3.
My splendid hyperactivity seems to be completely lost at this. I am going to take a shower and a cup of tea, all the while explaining to myself how I am doing it and why. Maybe that'll slow me down...
Quote from: DigitalMan on November 20, 2006, 08:47:24 PM...explain how to obtain a PS3.
Step 1: Kill current owner of PS3.
Step 2: Abscond with said PS3.
"I shall demonstrate. Would any PS3 owner in the audience raise their hand?"
Quote from: Stygian on November 20, 2006, 08:43:49 PM
You mean the ninety-nine percent of it that people mostly do not use?
(I am ragingly fishing for gibleeeeets!)
Exactly yes...
I bet no one knows the book I took that referance from
Huh...I think I remember having to do the same thing for my speech class. Not sure. It was way back in my Freshmen days, and I'm a Junior now... :mowtongue
I remember our professor did a demonstration on how exactly to make peanut-butter cookies. Fairly easy process actually. And tasty. You could do that, and bring cookies to class for everyone. Earn yourself points. :mowcookie
Vore Parties.
You guys fail :[
Explain how to fold underwear into a perfect square. Or make a paper crane... yeah....
Explain how to square the circle.
Process speech is very similar to the biochemical protocol papers we had to index for a time at my old job. Every tiny detail, manufacturers of ever single piece of equipment and chemical, even water, had to be included along with each and every painstaking step of the process. They were torment. They took so long to do that we had a different quota per day when we worked on them. The normal indexing quota was 75 articles indexed per day... with the protocols, the quota per day was 12.
But process speech is very useful for things like animation, where you actually do have to plan every movement of everything beforehand, even a twinkling star or a falling raindrop, or a random tossing of the leaves in the wind. I have to think about those sorts of things alot, since I'm the director of an independent animation project.
You could give a process speech on something thhat most people never think about at all! Like breathing, or a heartbeat, or the firing of a neuronal action potential! :3
Quote from: HaZ×MaT on November 20, 2006, 08:49:40 PM
Quote from: DigitalMan on November 20, 2006, 08:47:24 PM...explain how to obtain a PS3.
Step 1: Kill current owner of PS3.
Step 2: Abscond with said PS3.
Is your process approved by the ISO 1400 Quality Control Division?
:paranoid ...Yes.
Quote from: HaZ×MaT on November 22, 2006, 12:03:11 AM
:paranoid ...Yes.
What about the We Are Teams Process Initiative? And have you gotten permission from Griffin?
Uhh... Sure, why not.
Pfft...who needs silly things like "approval" or "permission" when new electronics come out?
Yeah, I'm only saying that cuz I don't have one yet.
Quote from: HaZ×MaT on November 22, 2006, 12:06:21 AM
Uhh... Sure, why not.
How about the Yodeling Woodchuck Documentation? And the Director of Product Enhancements? And the -ACK!- (is captured and strangled by disgruntled engineers.)
Quote from: Alan Garou on November 22, 2006, 12:04:55 AM
And have you gotten permission from Griffin?
Ted Griffin from accounting, or the mythical one?
Quote from: RJ on November 22, 2006, 12:12:29 AM
Quote from: Alan Garou on November 22, 2006, 12:04:55 AM
And have you gotten permission from Griffin?
Ted Griffin from accounting, or the mythical one?
Whichever is harder. :giggle
How to properly implode a building not unlike your school (preferably with al the teachers still inside), and get away with it. :bat
(in case anyone hadn't noticed, I really, really hate schools)
here's a good subject:
The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything
... aka 42
:)
How about creating the ultimate question to the ultimate answer?
Quote from: Gornemant on November 22, 2006, 01:39:12 PM
here's a good subject:
The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything
... aka 42
:)
I wonder why it HAS to be 42...it can't be Infinity? 'Cause everything just goes on, and on, and on...and on...
(slap)
Erm, anyway. Hey, that's one. How to calculate the mathematical improbability of infinity. :3
:O U R STEELIN MY STYLES! THIS IS POST 42? LOL?!?!
...no, seriously. Have fun with that one.
Oh, and the mathematical improbability of infinity is not improbable. It is. Because we are.
Unless you divide by zero, of course... Then it all just shrinks together like a little raisin and disappears straight into its own navel. D:
sty i devide you by ZERO!
*trisects an angle with a compass and straightedge*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*schlurp!*
*poff!*
Phew! I am so glad that my mind protects me from that kind of...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*schlurp!*
*poff!*
Okay, now I sense a disturbing kin...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
*schlurp...!*
How to get into somone's base, to kill their dudes.
Quote from: Stygian on November 22, 2006, 03:16:55 PM
:O U R STEELIN MY STYLES!
...no, seriously. Have fun with that one.
Oh, and the mathematical improbability of infinity is not improbable. It is. Because we are.
Unless you divide by zero, of course... Then it all just shrinks together like a little raisin and disappears straight into its own navel. D:
it's not infinity, because you see, you can relate just about anything to 42, like, you got reply #42
and the answer to infinity can also be, 42 :)
Quote from: Gornemant on November 22, 2006, 04:58:24 PM
Quote from: Stygian on November 22, 2006, 03:16:55 PM
:O U R STEELIN MY STYLES!
...no, seriously. Have fun with that one.
Oh, and the mathematical improbability of infinity is not improbable. It is. Because we are.
Unless you divide by zero, of course... Then it all just shrinks together like a little raisin and disappears straight into its own navel. D:
it's not infinity, because you see, you can relate just about anything to 42, like, you got reply #42
and the answer to infinity can also be, 42 :)
Well...at least 42 is an even number. Even numbers are good. :)
If you want to do something with math...how about a speech on how one can simplify Calculus to simple terms?
Limits... (shudders). :sweatdrop