Justacritic's C D & S's Theater

Started by justacritic, October 05, 2013, 08:19:26 PM

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justacritic

Hey, I haven't posted things here in a long while and after much self reflection I realize I need to learn how to pace and keep moving forward even if I get stuck. I haven't done anything much with Cain G'ian my cubi character and left him and his life story pretty much empty. So for practice, fun and entertainment I'm posting short drabbles from the life of Cain, Daryil and Simeon as they go about their long life spans. I hope you enjoy the ride and without further ado let the C D & S's Theater begin!

It wasn't a lie
"Cain where did you send him?" Simeon Kaye asked the feline incubus that was smiling happily. The colorfully winged wolf incubus had taken another bodyguarding job, one that had to protect the son of a merchant dealing in precious gems. The merchant would be away trying to negotiate a cushy contract with some mines and of course there would always be parties taking askance at that. It seemed to be routine, deal with a spoiled son of new rich, fight off some kidnappers, and wait until his employer came back. Of course as always there were complications.

One of them was Cain G'ian, a mutual friend of Simeon's boyfriend Ikaarion Daryil. Constantly in debt to the love of his life, Simeon met first Cain by being involved on a rescue mission that the wolf took a long time ago. Introductions were in order once Daryil found out. Now currently Cain was on the same contract as Simeon was but that wasn't the main factor that the situation warranted the wolf's question.

The other complication on the other hand was a dragon that had just attacked. It was Kedrick Rroyner, a rather infamous dragon well known for his obsession for gems. The most likely reason for this attack was to gain an advantage in the gem trade so that he could add to his hoard. Sadly both Simeon and Cain would never be able to defeat a dragon in direct combat. So Simeon grabbed the kid and both had to flee the area. Kedrick closed in swiftly however and it seemed like everything would be lost when the dragon landed in front of the cubi. Cain pulled out something inside a fannypack that he had on this job and threw at the dragon. Smoke erupted from the bomb that Cain through and when it dissipated the dragon was gone. And that came back to Simeon's question.      

"I gave him cake and grief counseling" Cain answered with a straight face.
"And....?" Simeon said, as a chill ran up his spine at that line.
"And we get hazard pay!" Cain replied making Simeon stumble over at that.
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Meanwhile in a therapist's office
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"MOTHER NEVER LOVED ME!" Kedrick dove into the supplied black forest cake while sobbing into it. "ALL SHE CARED ABOUT WAS HER GOLD, GOLD GOLD FAE DAMNED GOLD!!!!!"

The therapist nodded and gestured for the dragon to continue assured of a very sizable bill to come in the future. The grief counselor kept a note to write another commission check to that Cain G'ian. Ever since they came to their little agreement he kept on bringing in the business. The grief counselor turned his attention back towards Kedrick who was now ranting about how his mother went into the alchemy business.  

Tapewolf

It was a little short.  It feels like something I'd have used as a sketch inside a larger chapter.  Otherwise, so far, so good.

J.P. Morris, Chief Engineer DMFA Radio Project * IT-HE * D-T-E


justacritic

These are short drabbles detailing interactions between the three cubi. Mostly on Cain since he's mine.

So the gift of giving keeps on giving, even when what you get is a big headache.

Special Edition Dark
"Dar did you put these chocolates on my pillow?" Jakob Pettersohn, timber wolf incubus and chief executive officer of Jayhawk Cybernetics held out the offending extremely expensive confectionery treats. While Jakob's clan leader did have a long standing attraction for the timber wolf usually Daryil gave him roses in that tradition the fox had started up. Chocolates were something unusual and what was unusual was up Daryil's alley.

   "Really you got chocolates?" And Daryil answered, though the response wasn't what Jakob was expecting. "How did you get them?" The gray fox clan leader narrowed a bit in comedic jealousy and then broke out in a seductive smile. "You haven't been holding out on me have you?"

   "Dar you didn't get me these? Then who put them on my pillow?" Jakob asked. And at Daryil's shrug a bit of chill went up the timber wolf's spine. The timber wolf incubus turned and rushed to one of the security centers for the wing of the building that monitored Jakob's rarely used bedroom. As to why Jakob had a bedroom and why it was monitored, well the timber wolf would be well prepared if anything lucky managed to happen but until then, it was a safety hazard that needed to be observed.

   Jakob pulled up the video files for the room and skimmed through them till he found something unusual about one of them. He went and played the recording for last night and it went something like this. In the room there was absolute stillness, then literally out of thin air with no disturbance or distortion of space dropped someone into the room. It appeared to be an incubus, because there was only one species that had a pair of headwings and the shape of the body was that of a feline male. This incubus or maybe succubus, you could never know with cubi, descended down from where he had appeared on a rope he clung to, wings outstretched. From his pose and dress he seemed to look like one of those infiltrators from the ceiling from those spy thriller movies. In his other hand was a box of chocolates, the same box of expensive chocolates that Jakob had found in his room.

   "So Cain must have really appreciated that Christmas card you've mailed him" Daryil commented, making the timber wolf incubus jump. "I'm rather jealous, but he always did give very good gifts." The fox poked Jakob in the shoulder.

   Jakob face palmed, he had been told a bit about his clan leader's friend and added him to the Christmas card list as a courtesy. "Really and the fact that he broke in without triggering any alarms doesn't worry you?" The feline intruder looking like a cardboard cutout in his stiffness was lowered to the bed and left the box on Jakob's pillow. He rose up again and vanished in the same way he appeared.

    Daryil shrugged and waved the concern away "I wouldn't worry too much about him, if you're that worried I'll ask him about any teleporting abilities he'll develop you could ward against. Won't do much good though, he comes up with things like." And Daryil listed all the strange transportation antics that his friend could get up to. Jakob could only face palm yet again at how much aggravation warding the property was going to be, at least the chocolate was good as he began to snack on it.


VAE

Hmm. It's kinda rare that I say this, but this tidbit goes on for a bit too long without having much of a point - I'm tempted to say sort of the opposite of the previous one where you kinda skimmed on all the interesting bits IIRC.

When you think of it, nothing much really happens asides from the chocolates being put there. If at the very least, the method would have been stupidly inventive (say, Cain stuffing himself inside one of those cutting-through-space-teleporting androids, possibly with at least inconvenient consequences (not being able to seep out, and the thing still standing somewhere there)) . . .
Or maybe if at the end, Daryil named a couple of the methods, which'd inevitably result in "Wait, why didn't we ward the place against all of those?" from Jacob, (to which I can't help but imagine Daryil's reason being somewhere between "You didn't explicitly ask to" and "Well, how would [Furrae Santa equivalent] get in?", or possibly something out of the left field completely . . .

Other than that, there's bits like " As to why Jakob had a bedroom and why it was monitored, well the timber wolf would be well prepared if anything lucky managed to happen but until then, it was a safety hazard that needed to be observed.
" that are probably intended as filler, but IMHO insult the intelligence of the reader just a little by flash-of-the-obvious means.

Also, facepalm is one word IIRC.

That said, definitely better than the earlier bit. With enough practice your writing style and technique will sure get better and you got ideas.

What i cannot create, i do not understand. - Richard P. Feynman
This is DMFA. Where major species don't understand clothing. So innuendo is overlooked for nuendo. .
Saphroneth



justacritic

Thank you for your comments, they are a great help and pointed out what I should edit. I'll be working on the fix for the previous snippet. Watch this space for the edited version.