corrupt a wish yet again

[Inumo]

Granted. You get a model skyship that's 10,000 feet above sea level. And you're on it (at least, one foot is).

I wish I saw a boom.

[Captain]

Granted but it was only a sound-effect in a comic strip.

edit: oh I forgot to wish 

[Inumo]

Granted, you're sucked into a magical dimension of sensory depravity. You can do nothing but think. In time, you are driven mad from the lack of contact and interaction. You start to create personalities, and imagine feeling. When you finally are removed from the dimension, you can no longer speak English. You may as well be in a coma for all of your input on the world. You eventually die, alone but for the world in your head, in a padded cell in a mental asylum.

I wish I could think up stuff like that more often.

[e_voyager]

granted but now there are very few chances for you to use things.

i wish that i had more chances to warp minds when i was younger.

[Lysander]

Granted, but warping their minds to other dimensions doesn't help much from being unable to trace where you warped their minds to.

I wish for a cute butt. 

[Suwako]

granted, however for it you are turned into a baby.

I wish for the rain to stop here today.

[Inumo]

Granted. It stops raining right over "Here" at 108 Stokes Croft, Bristol.

I wish I had a tentacle growing out of my back.

[Forycles]

Congratulations. Now a load of biologists want your preferably unharmed body. Enjoy captivity!

I wish that my summer projects could write themselves. Decently.

[Suwako]

Granted, but it is written in a long lost language.

I wish that the sky would turn purple every day before bad weather.

[e_voyager]

granted but now everyday is bad weather day and the world blames you.

i wish for the New York Yankees  annual budget to be mine to play with and do as i please.

[Captain]

Granted but it is now 1/10th of what it used to be.

I wish for massive inflation.

[Caswin]

You swell up like a big balloon... and suddenly release it all out the back.  Boy, aren't you embarrassed.

I wish for more time.  Just... more time. (Have fun.)

[Inumo]

Granted. You have all the time in the world; after all, you are immortal now. No matter what happens, you cannot die, per se. Your cells can separate, but will remain linked. So, some whitecoats take you apart and look through your cells in an attempt to discover the magic holding you together (ish).

I wish for whirled peas.

[bradypodidae]

Granted, but they most stay in the pot, nine days old.

I wish for teh mad gaming skilz.

[e_voyager]

granted your skills are to good what what 1337 speak spelling is to British English spelling

i wish i could build my own robot

[bradypodidae]

Granted, but the robot you build is you, causing all sorts of paradox quandaries.

I wish I had a better all-in-one printer.

[Inumo]

Granted. It's sentient and takes over your computer, followed by the rest of the internet.

[Caswin]

...but it relinquishes its grip to digitally disembowl your computer for not making a wish.

I wish there was less preventing me from communicating my thoughts -- on paper, through word of mouth, over the Internet, whatever.

[Inumo]

Granted. You now have what is in essence diarrhea of the mouth, and can't stop communicating.

I wish I could control my eyebrows better.

[Captain]

Granted but they become very attention-consuming and you become irrationally obsessed with them.

I wish that my earlier post was not misinterpreted.

Except that one can't be granted so I'll find a new wish.

I wish that pigs lived underwater.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted, it's now the year three thousand, and not much has changed.

Oh, and your great great great grand-daughter is a bit of a pig, actually.


I wish these oranges were easier to peel...

[e_voyager]

granted you oranges not peal like human skin and the taste eww

i wish for a fully functional super speed connection to the speed force.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. It comes with an automated spellcheck. Sadly, the spellcheck is fixed on Hungarian, and the ignore and skip and close buttons are disabled, so you have to take the options it provides.

... Fortunately, nobody notices the resultant increase in your understandability. ;-]


I wish I didn't have to package this application.

[Caswin]

Granted.  It is impossible to package this application.  As such, for a given definition of "package", there is no feasible way to make all those zeroes and ones and abstract software do anything useful.

I wish I had gotten back into reading sooner.

[Captain]

Granted but you were sent back in time to somewhere where there are no libraries and you have to pay outrageous fees for them.

I wish to stop judicial activism and make the economy worse.

[e_voyager]

granted but nobody notices the difference.

i wish for a rabbit in a hat with a bat and six point maller.

"i wish i had Charles Atlas super powers"

[Caswin]

Granted.  From concerted bouts of lethargy, you become (for all intents and purposes) superhumanly lethargic.  However, this means that you become too lethargic to maintain your own lethargy, so you cease to be superhumanly lethargic and become simply lethargic again.  It was fun while it lasted, though.

I wish for a rabbit in a hat.  With a bat.  And... I don't know what that last thing is, but I wish for that, too.

[e_voyager]

granted but the rabbit hits you with the bat and the six point mallar lands on you

i wish people would stop stealing my wishes. 

[Inumo]

Granted. Instead, they have the exact same thought process as you and post the same wishes anyway.

I wish that life was more exciting, while still being survivable. That, or I wish I could feel some more emotion.

[theflanman]

Granted, life is an exiting horror movie, unfortunately you must now live your life in fear.

I wish I had more disposable income.