2009-09-19 [PF #79] "Dream surfing for the win"

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I think you're way off base, there, madmann. I mean... everyone knows Daryil gets straightened out by the love of the perfect woman. Any other result is just... it just wouldn't fit with the Daryil we know and love, you know?

[Amber Williams]

As a somewhat more serious critique:
One of the big downsides to turning a story into a comic...especially one that is more serious...is that the pacing will often suffer from it.  Frankly speaking, from a pacing perspective, Project Future really suffers in that its a week of waiting just to get to the next round about set of dialogue that doesn't really push anything forward. So an exchange of dialogue between two characters that takes about four pages to get to any resolution in actuality takes a month.

It's been incredibly so in the most recent chapters with Ashford.  In some ways...its brutally boring to spend page after page of Ashford going on and on with no real result in sight. And really, it probably doesn't help that since this is the first real appearance of Ashford and Keaton outside of a flashback...the fact that their main introduction is so dismal and monotonous makes me as a reader want this section of the story to finish up so it can get back to what feels like it should be the main plot and the important thing.  I don't really care about Ashford or Keaton and I find myself wondering why Joshua is even there in the first place...because I cannot recall anything in the story giving reason for him needing to return.

It feels like these chapters are supposed to be informative...but the result to me is that they are just dragging along.  The characters Ashford and Keaton feel like little more than a means to introduce some antagonist out of left field. And while I'm sure the actual written story itself better presents it...the transition to comic format feels off.  This feels like one of those chapters that would have probably been better presented in a large batch of 3-4 comics than just one a week.

[Tapewolf]

One of the big downsides to turning a story into a comic...especially one that is more serious...is that the pacing will often suffer from it.  Frankly speaking, from a pacing perspective, Project Future really suffers in that its a week of waiting just to get to the next round about set of dialogue that doesn't really push anything forward. So an exchange of dialogue between two characters that takes about four pages to get to any resolution in actuality takes a month.

Yes.  This is one of the slack parts, to be honest, and this page in particular feels rather empty.  I wasn't all that happy with it in terms of writing - one of the big problems is that they're recapping what we already know, though drawing different conclusions from it.
IMHO it does start to pick up quite rapidly afterwards, though.  It's also a transition point in the writing in that I start adding a bit more humour to the mix, though we haven't quite got to that point yet.

The flipside to this kind of pacing is that, as you said of Abel's Story, it's tempting to add a shock or hook every week which then makes the thing really weird to read when you go back through the archives.

...the fact that their main introduction is so dismal and monotonous makes me as a reader want this section of the story to finish up so it can get back to what feels like it should be the main plot and the important thing.  I don't really care about Ashford or Keaton and I find myself wondering why Joshua is even there in the first place...because I cannot recall anything in the story giving reason for him needing to return.

That would be the whole 'disciplined soldier' thing.  He's not going to want to spend his whole life stuck in the Arctic, but if he doesn't, word is eventually going to get back that he's alive in which case he'd technically be a deserter which is Not Good.  

FWIW, starting from chapter nine, the story tends to flick back and forth between Joshua at Starfire and Dorcan at the Arctic complex.  Chapter 10 is a 50/50 split.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

And I was off all weekend, so I didn't get a chance to chime in and annoy you all.

So to rectify that.....

Something's odd about Ashford. When he's coming back in the morning to the office, (or whatever) he's still getting dressed, and at the end of the strip, he doesn't have a jacket on like he did during the previous day. Does he live at the Starfire intelligence base? Combine it with the last page, and the first thing that sprung to mind was that the "Liz" that he was talking to was some secretary or something he was having an affair with.

Also, in a minor critique of the art, it's a little jarring to see Ashford in the fourth panel apperantly buttoning his shirt, when his shirt doesn't seem to have any buttons....

Although him almost perfectly mirroring Joshua's reaction to the news of a total conversion beam is kind of funny. Do they teach paranoia courses or something?

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Although him almost perfectly mirroring Joshua's reaction to the news of a total conversion beam is kind of funny. Do they teach paranoia courses or something?

They might, but they can't tell you about it.

[ChaosMageX]

Tape I just thought of something.  The Synthetic bodies, do they weigh the same or similar to bodies of non synthetics or are they heavier?

Depends on the amount of shielding.  A lot of work went into ensuring the bodies were an acceptable weight.  For the likes of Joshua or Dorcan, they weigh a bit more than they did previously but not significantly so, just a few extra kilos.
The idea is to enable them to resume their former lives, which isn't going to work out too well if they suddenly weigh a quarter of a ton.

That is an interesting fact, which makes me think their design is closer to Ghost in the Shell prosthetic bodies than Terminator combat bodies.
Since they are so light, are they able to swim with those bodies as well?

There are other, more heavily-armoured models which are discussed later, they weigh more than a normal human or Being would do.  The panthers are heavy, but then so is a real one.

Really, so there are already synthetic bodies with hyper-alloy combat chassis skeletons like the Terminator 800 series?

Or do you mean something more exoskeleton-like when you mean heavily armored bodies?

[Madmann135]

I think you're way off base, there, madmann. I mean... everyone knows Daryil gets straightened out by the love of the perfect woman. Any other result is just... it just wouldn't fit with the Daryil we know and love, you know?

I figured I was not even in the ball park but the thought was given.

[Zedd]

It's nice you guys got updated but...

[Tapewolf]

Something's odd about Ashford. When he's coming back in the morning to the office, (or whatever) he's still getting dressed, and at the end of the strip, he doesn't have a jacket on like he did during the previous day. Does he live at the Starfire intelligence base?

Yes.  It's a quasi-military organisation, they provide accommodation.

Also, in a minor critique of the art, it's a little jarring to see Ashford in the fourth panel apperantly buttoning his shirt, when his shirt doesn't seem to have any buttons....

That might need fixing.

That is an interesting fact, which makes me think their design is closer to Ghost in the Shell prosthetic bodies than Terminator combat bodies.
Since they are so light, are they able to swim with those bodies as well?

Joshua couldn't at first because he still needed to breathe then, and he was in fact unable to hold his breath which would have caused him to drown quite quickly.  Now, assuming that all his access ports are correctly sealed, he would be able to swim indefinitely (we see something a bit like this in a few chapters).

Really, so there are already synthetic bodies with hyper-alloy combat chassis skeletons like the Terminator 800 series?
Or do you mean something more exoskeleton-like when you mean heavily armored bodies?

I think they're still in the late planning stages at this part of the story.  It will be a year or so before they turn up.

[LionHeart]

I think you're way off base, there, madmann. I mean... everyone knows Daryil gets straightened out by the love of the perfect woman. Any other result is just... it just wouldn't fit with the Daryil we know and love, you know?

Yeah, in chapter 37 of the story, he gets married and settles down with his new wife, Mary Sue.

[Tapewolf]

Hmm, LG have made Jakob and Ashford's watch:

http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2009/09/22/review_phone_lg_gd910_watchphone/page3.html

[Ren Gaulen]

Hmm, LG have made Jakob and Ashford's watch:

http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2009/09/22/review_phone_lg_gd910_watchphone/page3.html

Eat your heart out, James Bond!

[Madmann135]

Hmm, LG have made Jakob and Ashford's watch:

http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2009/09/22/review_phone_lg_gd910_watchphone/page3.html

Eat your heart out, James Bond!

"There is no discrete way to answer a shoe phone"


Random thought... does the fully synthetics like Joshua need to sleep?

[Tapewolf]

Random thought... does the fully synthetics like Joshua need to sleep?

No, but they can if they choose to.

[Tapewolf]

Just as a heads-up, we may be running late again this week.  Family thing, so I'll be a bit preoccupied on Saturday and probably tidying the house Friday evening.

That means that we may have to update Saturday evening instead, depending on when I get the lineart.  We should have Simeon's Story updating on schedule, though.

**EDIT**

[Pagan]

I suppose you'll be wantin' a fancy new thread for that one too... Give me a second ta read the thing.