[comic] Gabriel, pg.6 [02-08-'10]

[WhiteFox]

The only thing that strikes me is that it looks pretty deserted for a shopping center... And the stairs in the last panel look a tad too short for masses of people to easily walk on. In other words, it needs longer steps.

I haven't even tried drawing crowds yet. It's on my to-do list, tho.

I'm always trying to develop my skills, but comments like these help me prioritize what I should be focusing on. Thanks.

The place they're in right now isn't a high traffic area, actually (there was going to be an establishing shot, but script editing pushed it over to the next page).

Ooh, so she didn't just slap down Felix and move on... eeenteresting

Of course not... there's scheming to be done. 

Love how felix shifts his/her wings into tentacles to aid in getting back on their feet, cool touch.

I like to add little interesting bits like that. I don't like to flaunt the characters powers, and being subtle is much more fun.

I was worried it wasn't clear what Felix was doing in that panel. Thanks.

[Tapewolf]

I was worried it wasn't clear what Felix was doing in that panel. Thanks.

No, that was quite clear.  It was a nice touch.

[WhiteFox]

DSOF #61
Emeline just keeps digging herself in, doesn't she?

Whoo boy. Where to begin...

First, larger format! More then twice as much drawing area.I like it. It's a much more comfortable size to draw at. Unfortunately, it makes the big empty spaces stand out that much more.

The backgrounds are still inadequate. I can sketch architectural stuff just fine... as soon as I have to polish it up, it looks like crap. Blarg

I'm still trying to figure out how I fubar'd so many lines in panel one. India Ink is a harsh mistress, but I love her so.

Comments and critique appreciated.



Regarding the website...

tl;dr version: still working on it.

Laugh-at-my-Pain Extended Directors Cut version: Got tired of sorting out technical issues with the hosting I'm borrowing from Dad, so I signed up for some of my own.

Since I don't have a credit card, I had to use moms. Mum said to the ISP: "Put it on my card, but in WF's name."

They put it in her name.

So, I don't actually have full control over it, and I've got all the problems I had originally plus a few new ones. Now I have more hassling to go through with the ISP, I'm still borrowing space from one of my parents, and I'm out 40 bucks. Yay!

[Drayco84]

*Hugs Emeline's 'twins'.*
What? Why are you looking at me like that for?

Anyway, just to check, have you already registered a domain name, and what webhost are you using? (If it's Dotster.com, I can help.)

EDIT: Also, what kind of server are you using? Linux or Winsuck? (Yes, I'm biased. Linux is also slightly cheaper per month.)

[WhiteFox]

*Hugs Emeline's 'twins'.*
What? Why are you looking at me like that for?

Because you must be a sad, desperate little man.

Anyway, just to check, have you already registered a domain name, and what webhost are you using? (If it's Dotster.com, I can help.)

Yes, I have. No, it's not.

EDIT: Also, what kind of server are you using? Linux or Winsuck? (Yes, I'm biased. Linux is also slightly cheaper per month.)

I dunno... it's a serving server, I guess.

I made sure it was a red one. I'm pretty sure they go faster.

[Drayco84]

Because you must be a sad, desperate little man.

I take offense to "little". I'm six feet tall and I've hit enough stuff with my head to be reminded of that.
"Sad" and "Desperate" are totally spot-on, though.

EDIT: Also, what kind of server are you using? Linux or Winsuck? (Yes, I'm biased. Linux is also slightly cheaper per month.)

I dunno... it's a serving server, I guess.

I made sure it was a red one. I'm pretty sure they go faster.

HURK! Nnnnnnnnnn... GrrrrraaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHH! *Head asplodes.*

EDIT: Fixed quote.

[Shachza]

EDIT: Also, what kind of server are you using? Linux or Winsuck? (Yes, I'm biased. Linux is also slightly cheaper per month.)

I dunno... it's a serving server, I guess.

I made sure it was a red one. I'm pretty sure they go faster.

HURK! Nnnnnnnnnn... GrrrrraaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHH! *Head asplodes.*

He's got a point, the red ones go faster.  Adding the "Red Paint Job" upgrade to any Ork vehicle in Warhammer 40,000 gives it +1 inch of movement every turn.

[WhiteFox]

Shachza: So... nothing to say about the comic, then?

[VAE]

Shachza: So... nothing to say about the comic, then?

Hmm , i am a common N00b but since you want some input and i am procrastinating, i shall provide you with some
Firstly, you say that you cannot do architecture : Bollocks, it looks fine! Certainly the backgrounds are more elaborate than one would expect of a background.The comic seems fine - i haven't read all of it yet, so i don't exactly get the last part, but the jokes i did see,  for example adventurers "eating" project i loled at. Visible that unlike me you are not a devotee of silly humor, but where you put some it goes well.
Although i feel bad for criticising it, since i myself suck at drawing faces (in my case ,making them consistent) i would say that the faces are something that looks the worst, at least to me. They are kind of.. blank.. i don't know whether is the eyes (probably) or the three dimensional drawing, or the fact you are trying to make them look more realistic... maybe is just that it is a style of drawing i don't like much... but then Gabriel Cartwright or how is he called (from Steam and steel) looked fine...

Anyway . that's all for me so far... i figured that since you have been helpful too, i shall at least try to do the same

[WhiteFox]

Hmm , i am a common N00b but since you want some input and i am procrastinating, i shall provide you with some

Urgh. I hate it when people assume that because they themselves can't draw, they aren't qualified to comment.

Bull. Pretty much anyone who views a piece of art can form an opinion about it, and those opinions are all good to know. Stuff like anatomy and perspective I can study out of a book. Hearing what people do and do not like about my work... that's valuable data.

I really need to finish that critiquing tutorial I started.

Firstly, you say that you cannot do architecture : Bollocks, it looks fine! Certainly the backgrounds are more elaborate than one would expect of a background.

See, that right there. Good to know. What's right or wrong isn't the same as what people do or don't like.

For the record, I said the backgrounds were "inadequate." Panel one has no shading, and panel 3-5 are just gradients. Not to mention, a lot of perspective lines got messed up. I'm working on it.

The comic seems fine - i haven't read all of it yet, so i don't exactly get the last prt, but the jokes i did see,  for example adventurers "eating" project i loled at. Visible that unlike me you are not a devotee of silly humor, but where you put some it goes well.

DSoF is supposed to be a serious story, but I don't like it getting super dark and heavy. So, I have to balance things a bit. The characters are, for the most part, dead serious people, and I don't like having them break character just for a punchline. Black humour and deadpanning doesn't break character, tho.

Plus, I like to slip in clever or quirky bits. Theolonius' and Maltorius' business robes, for one, or Theonor's "She's honest. I like that." quip.

Although i feel bad for criticising it, since i myself suck at drawing faces (in my case ,making them consistent) i would say that the faces are something that looks the worst, at least to me. They are kind of.. blank.. i don't know whether is the eyes (probably) or the three dimensional drawing, or the fact you are trying to make them look more realistic... maybe is just that it is a style of drawing i don't like much... but then Gabriel Cartwright or how is he called (from Steam and steel) looked fine...

Huh... guess I'll have to meditate on that one. There's a number of things about the characters faces I'm not happy with, and I think most of it is because I'm clumsier with a pen then I would like.

I'm constantly shifting the balance between human and animal for the faces. It might be something to do with that. Gabriel has much more animalistic eyes, for one.

Anyway . that's all for me so far... i figured that since you have been helpful too, i shall at least try to do the same

Much appreciated.

[Shachza]

Shachza: So... nothing to say about the comic, then?

I don't have a lot to critique.

You're pretty good with poses, especially wings, and expressions.  Your work on backgrounds are good as well, and shows a lot of thought about the little things that are simply there wherever you are.  I like seeing the more detailed shading that you're trying.  I was going to mention your ability to do elbows, but that was from the first couple of comics and I think you've really improved since then.

If you want me to be nitpicky, then I would say that your shading needs to transition to deeper shadows as it's a bit light right now, and keep working on the neatness of your lines (ex: the edges of Emeline's dress are a little squiggly).


P.S.  You forgot to color Emeline's headwings in the last panel of 61.

[WhiteFox]

Shachza: This is all good stuff to know. Much appreciated.

[WhiteFox]

The new archive page is finally done!

...Okay, so it's mostly done.

The HTML and CSS is complete, but I still have to get the PHP coding done. So, the nav buttons don't work and there's only one comic page up (for testing purposes).

V.3 Archive for DSOF!

Also, there's going to be another navigation bar for the entire site, but since I don't have any other inside pages, there's not much point to including it just yet. Those shouldn't take too much time to do, though.

Regardless, I thought I'd put up the new page here for comments on the design, and cross-platform compatibility testing. I'm worried about a couple of things in particular;

• The formatting is done in .css with div tags, which can screw up in spectacular ways.
• I played with the formatting of the links in .css, which should be done judiciously.
• The background image changes shade between Safari and FireFox. Either shade looks okay, but I have no clue why it's doing that, or how if it looks okay in other browsers.
• On top of the above, colour balance changes between monitors and OS.
• I used border decorations a fair bit, and I hope they don't look too obnoxious.

So, comments appreciated.

If there's one thing I like about the design, it's that it's much cleaner. The CGI graphics were pretty much a cop out, since I wasn't confident doing them in Photoshop or by hand at the time. I managed to cut down he number of images, per page, from 16 to 3 (not including the comic itself)... I'm sure that'll do nice things for the load times and bandwidth.

I'm glad I finally got to use the logo at a decent size. I spent a solid week designing it on paper and making it in Flash... and never actually used it. Bastard Gothic fonts are fun.

DSOF #62 goes up tonight or tomorrow. Or at least, it should.

[EDIT] Special thanks to llearch for some very handy links to .css and .html how-to sites.

[Drayco84]

The design is indeed simple, clean, and looks nice, especially compared to my own code. (Don't look at the code on my website... DON'T LOOK AT THE CODE ON MY WEBSITE!)

The menu text is black when using Opera with PCLOS, though. (This is probably because you don't have a "color" property in the Style Tag.) If you recognize the site, it's one you referred me to some time ago. (No doubt Llearch mentioned it already.) And just in case you need it, here's HTML color codes.

Currently though, are you using stylesheets yet? (I never could figure out how to get those to work, BTW. On the other hand, I have divs in my iframe pages... Yeah, it took me long enough.) Nvm. You're planning on using PHP.

[WhiteFox]

The menu text is black when using Opera with PCLOS, though. (This is probably because you don't have a "color" property in the Style Tag.)

I have colour properties set for the <a> tag and it's variations. The links should be yellow, underlined  when moused over, and dark grey if visited.

And just in case you need it, here's HTML color codes.

I have Photoshop. It does me fine.

Plus, I'm getting to the point where I can look at a code and figure out what colour it is. Approximately.

Currently though, are you using stylesheets yet? (I never could figure out how to get those to work, BTW. On the other hand, I have divs in my iframe pages... Yeah, it took me long enough.) Nvm. You're planning on using PHP.

I'm using CSS right now. It will define any attribute for any tag, not just font styles. I use it to set the height, width, position, and border styles of the div tags.

The PHP (when it's done) fills in various elements of the HTML depending on the URL. If you go to comic #27, for example, it'll calculate the page numbers for the Back and Next links, and put "27" in the image tag for the actual comic. It will also automatically check what the most recent comic is to fill in the "Today" link, and check if there is an easter egg for the comic.

(Update: The PHP is coded, now I just have to figure out how to get it working on my site.)

[Drayco84]

I have colour properties set for the <a> tag and it's variations. The links should be yellow, underlined  when moused over, and dark grey if visited.

I got this off of your css page...

a:link {
   font-size: large;
   font-weight: bold;
   text-decoration: none;
   font-family: Georgia;

a:active{
   font-size: large;
   font-weight: bold;
   text-decoration: none;
   font-family: Georgia;

Yeah, I'd say that regular links and active links are missing color... (The others DO have it though.) And before you ask, no, I don't know the difference.

The PHP (when it's done) fills in various elements of the HTML depending on the URL. If you go to comic #27, for example, it'll calculate the page numbers for the Back and Next links, and put "27" in the image tag for the actual comic. It will also automatically check what the most recent comic is to fill in the "Today" link, and check if there is an easter egg for the comic.

Yeah, I had enough of a hard time trying to get fixed-posiiton tables and drop-down menus to work as it was without trying to wrap my head around PHP... On the other hand, I'm still amazed that the stuff I've "borrowed" and affixed with super glue actually works...  (And through the creative use of iframes, I have drop-down menus that only need to be updated in one place.

(Update: The PHP is coded, now I just have to figure out how to get it working on my site.)

MySQL, aka Databases, are a key point here. My borrowed comment system uses PHP and it MUST have that database. Anything more than that I'd have to research.

[hapless]

I think I may know why the background changes shade - you used Photoshop to make it, which embedded an "ICC color profile" inside the file. Most browsers ignore that, but one of these two (I don't remember, but probably Webkit, i.e. Safari/Chrome) actually reads it and applies the "correction".

Check out these articles, if you have a minute.
http://www.viget.com/inspire/the-mysterious-save-for-web-color-shift/
http://www.viget.com/inspire/save-for-web-simply/
http://www.gballard.net/psd/save_for_web_embed_ICC_profile.html

Also (mostly @ Drayco84):
"a {}" applies to all clickable links. It's a good place to put all common stuff.
"a:link {}" are links that hadn't been visited yet (are not in browser's history).
"a:visited {}" is the other half - the ones you've been to already. In "plain HTML" with no formatting, a:link are usually blue, and a:visited hmm... dark purple?
Finally, "a:hover {}" for when mouse is on top of them. Honestly, I don't remember if there's yet another one that applies WHILE you're clicking on a link... might be, but then it might be just all the Flash work I've been doing messing up my memory.

And I confirm that the menu displays black or very dark gray in Opera. But then,

The links should be yellow, underlined  when moused over, and dark grey if visited.

it might be that Opera sees that they (temporarily) lead to this very page, archive2.html, and says "Oh hey, I'm on that page already! I'll use the visited style for the links!"

Good luck.

[WhiteFox]

I think I may know why the background changes shade - you used Photoshop to make it, which embedded an "ICC color profile" inside the file. Most browsers ignore that, but one of these two (I don't remember, but probably Webkit, i.e. Safari/Chrome) actually reads it and applies the "correction".

Check out these articles, if you have a minute.
http://www.viget.com/inspire/the-mysterious-save-for-web-color-shift/
http://www.viget.com/inspire/save-for-web-simply/
http://www.gballard.net/psd/save_for_web_embed_ICC_profile.html

You have my undying gratitude, good sir.

it might be that Opera sees that they (temporarily) lead to this very page, archive2.html, and says "Oh hey, I'm on that page already! I'll use the visited style for the links!"

That's what I was thinking, actually. Do the grey links underline when hovered?

Also, theres "a:active". I believe that's the one that defines the mouse-down state.

Drayco84: My PHP archive doesn't actually need a database. Which is nifty.

Also, I did define the a in CSS, and it's link, visited, hover, and active states.

[hapless]

You have my undying gratitude, good sir.

Glad to be of any use around here...

That's what I was thinking, actually. Do the grey links underline when hovered?

Yep, sure they do!

Also, theres "a:active". I believe that's the one that defines the mouse-down state.

Good to know.

[LionHeart]

The links are in black for me. They do have underline when hovered, but they don't appear to change colour when clicked on.

I'm using FF 3.6.3 on Windows 7.

[WhiteFox]

It lives! Bwa ha ha haaa! At long last.

The New DSOF Archive

Many thanks to:
llearch, for instrumental assistance in trouble-shooting.
Mechanisto, for the PHP code.
Everyone who commented on the preliminary design. The feedback was much appreciated.

I did make a few cosmetic changes based on said feedback, particularly the colours for the links: the standard yellow for unvisited, a light yellow for hovering, a dark yellow for clicking, and a light grey for visited links. The new scheme is more in line with standard link colour conventions: it changes colour when moused over, and "blinks" when clicked on. I used a lighter grey because it worked better with the hover's lighter yellow then the dark grey.

Next up, I'm going to start developing character biography pages. After that, I'm building a main page.

Given the amount of time all the site development is taking, DSOF is probably going to be bi-weekly for a while.

[EDIT] Finally, I can get rid of that huge list of links on the first post for all the individual pages.
Also: I think I'll reboot my sketchblog on the new site. When I have time for posting sketches.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

btw, strip 7 is much larger than the others.

Like, unreadably large.

Other than that, I've got as far as 33 before finishing lunch...

[WhiteFox]

btw, strip 7 is much larger than the others.

Like, unreadably large.

*Fix'd*

The horror. The badly drawn horror.

[Suwako]

It looks good, though still rather skeletonized it works well as well and does what it is supposed to do, I like it

[WhiteFox]

Ty: The site will flesh out once I have more content for it. Even so, I'm a fan of clean designs so I doubt there will be much clutter.

[Suwako]

Aye, one things I have against comicpress is that it is rather cluttery, I was thinking more like a header and personalized buttons, really. And of course the tabs you already mentions; Iow: Character Tab. 

[WhiteFox]

DSOF #62 (NSFW: Lanugage)

Don't you hate it when speech bubbles cover up the art?

The backgrounds just weren't working, so I decided to just take 'em out. The lighting is inconsistent between panels because I was tweaking my colouring methods on the fly... I don't think it hurts the comic as a whole, so I put it on my "Do it right next time" list and left it as is.

To relieve some ambiguity; in my mind Felix is a she. When writing scripts, I use "Felix" as a unisex name. For the most part, that's about all I'm going to say on the matter since the subject is a significant element of the comic.

At any rate... comments and critique appreciated.
Free cameo appearance if you can guess his name.

[Drayco84]

Excellent use of speech bubbles to cover up the features of the passerby. You could've "borrowed" a character from pretty much any other webcomic and still maintained plausible deniability. (Hey, it made me lol.) Unfortunately, it was kind of a serious scene...

[WhiteFox]

Excellent use of speech bubbles to cover up the features of the passerby.

He's not a random passerby, as the dialog for that panel suggests.

[Lisky]

So is it safe to assume Felix is actually female?  Or perhaps recently underwent a true sex-change operation?  It seems s/he is talking as if s/he has experienced both being a "mother" and having a "husband"