Dilemma

[Michaelangelo]

I've spent some time thinking about things. About how I tried to reform. I spoke to someone and it got me thinking. Did I really need reform, or did I just compromise myself to fit in. I wanted to think I grew as a person. But now I'm not so sure anymore. Its a struggle in a battle with myself. Who I am. Who I realise I am. I just am very confused at this point. Am I the solution? Or part of the problem? I just don't know anymore. Am I truely a better person now than I was before? Or was I always a good person and just never realized it? Or was I always a bad person? And no matter what I do I'll always be this bad person? And reform or trying to reform is meaningless. Its questionable. I just don't know who I truely am anymore. I feel in a way I've lost my identity and am having an identity crisis. Its weird in a way. What am I truely about? What do I stand for? Its things I just don't know anymore.

I looked at the definition of good. Its defined as:

Worthy of respect; honorable.

But in which interpretation. What is the honorable thing to do? What makes one worthy of respect?

Then theres the definition of bad. Its defined as:

Being further from a standard; less desirable or satisfactory.

But does not following the standard always make you a bad person. If you're less desirable personality-wise to some but others think you are great should you change? Are you really a bad person cause some people don't desire to get to know you. To understand you. Then lastly theres satisfactory. If you don't satisfy people with the actions you take or don't take does this make you a bad person? And if you can never satisfy someone will you always be a bad person. Can you never have a change to be good? And would you really want to be good?

Its all theoretical. Confusing. Can't be answered. And I'm having a tough time making sense of all this.

[Xuzaf D]

Being below standards means that you just don't live up what is expected of you by society or others. For example, you can be bad at a lot of things, but this doesn't mean your a bad person. I think the question your after is "Do I have bad people skills?" or maybe your searching deeper with something like "Are my unpopular characteristics a sign that there is no value to my life?"

These are crappy questions to be asking yourself, since self-doubt will just ruin attempts to improve upon you. You need to look at what you know to be positive (and not neccesarily popular) traits about yourself and use this as a base for your interactions with people. If these things that are positive about you are disliked by others, that is their problem, and you should not dwell on those who simply can't apreciate who you are. Others who do understand these things that make you a good person will obviously be easier to befriend or atleast talk to.

Let's look at this at a different angle:

It is impossible to have 100% unlikeable traits, and though many can say that of others, it is definitely not true. It can be true that a person only shows there negetive traits to others making the idea seem true, but it ultimately it isn't. This is why it is important to display as many positive traits as you can if your goal is to make friends. As stated before, if people just don't like what you have, don't bother with them and don't change who you are since it can't truly be done. Also, you should not try to convince others that the traits they do not like are somehow positive.

Now before I write a self-help book, I'll just say that it is important to know what is good about you first, and then go from there. Look for something like a skill or trait that you have that you know is a good thing. This is what makes you a good person. Those bad traits you have you will just have to deal with either by yourself or with others.

(arg... posting all my thoughts made my head hurt... I think I pulled something)

[Destina Faroda]

But what about those of us who have no such redeeming features?

[Xuzaf D]

But what about those of us who have no such redeeming features?

It is impossible to have 100% unlikeable traits, and though many can say that of others, it is definitely not true. It can be true that a person only shows there negetive traits to others making the idea seem true, but it ultimately it isn't.

[Destina Faroda]

I read that, and I disagree.  Some people, like me, don't have anything.   Don't believe me?  Name some positive attirbute or ability that I have that is exceptionally beyond the realm of my peers.

[Xuzaf D]

I said that a person must find their own positive factors and I most certainly did not say that a person should find things they can hold over everyone's heads. It's not possible to be the best at everything ever, life just doesn't work that way.

[Destina Faroda]

I didn't say I was the best at everything.   Still, it is possible to be worse at everyting than nearly everyone else, which makes you a worse person.

[Xuzaf D]

Well that's just the equally impossible opposite of being the best at (almost) everything. It can't happen within the laws of human existance we live under, so discussing it would make about as much sense as a fight between Mighty Mouse and Jesus Christ.

edit: 50 on the J-man!

[Destina Faroda]

You're saying my existence is impossible?

[Sin Ominous]

It boils down to self-confidence. If you aren't confident about whatever abilities you have, how can you expect others to feel confident in or about you?

By your habit of self-defeatism, it frankly makes it increasingly difficult for others to acknowledge what you say or accomplish when you knock yourself down all the time. It's quite a quagmire.

That's why I worry about you so much.

You're only human, Destina. You'd have to be a deity to be able to exist entirely without error.

[Xuzaf D]

You're saying my existence is impossible?

You know, if your going to be that way, there is no point in me posting in this thread.

[ilpalazzo]

Well your existence is possible, you are a carbon based life form, you have thought and motor functions..... you exist.

[Destina Faroda]

First you write,

By your habit of self-defeatism, it frankly makes it increasingly difficult for others to acknowledge what you say or accomplish when you knock yourself down all the time.

Then...

You're only human, Destina. You'd have to be a deity to be able to exist entirely without error.

How did you get from one to the other?  Are you saying I think I'm perfect or that I think too harshly of myself?  Sorry, this doesn't compute.

[Nimrods Son]

You're saying my existence is impossible?

Rap:
Heading for the best on planet castlevania
your existence has been summoned for your own sake on my plane, yo
Bang yer head against against the wall this is ba-by-lon-don callin',
bang yer head this is Mardukh c-c-callin'

woo, I feel cool now. Don't take yerself and others too seriously. 80% of our brain is unused, or so. We aren't the kind of species that has to be perfect, or errorless, or successful. Just go & get a life, or have fun sharping your intellect.