[art, comic, game design, movie] Santa Vs Chiplets script part 3 25ps 5-31-08

[GabrielsThoughts]

post has been deleted...

[GabrielsThoughts]

ok, so I thought I'd make a really stereotypical Christmas movie... that was a parody of all Christmas movies. 

Join Calvin, Mimas, and Agador, as they venture on a quest to kick an evil  Santa's ass.



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/santa-vs-calvin.jpg



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/svc1.jpg



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/SVC-heirchyochallenges.jpg



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/svcmenu.jpg



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/svcscreenshot1.jpg



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/svcscreenshot2.jpg



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/svcscreenshot3.jpg

[Tapewolf]

Communist chipmunks?  I can't describe how much that rocks.
I just hope you're going to use it to its full potential rather than have it as a one-off gag...

[GabrielsThoughts]

SANTA CLAUS VS THE CHIPLETS
by Gabriel R Lopez

For : Introduction to Game Design and Development
Prof. James Cho
Nevada State College

Santa Claus Vs. the Chiplets is a strategy game for the new  Playstation 9. As such,  Santa Vs the Chiplets will be  the first game developed and released with the PS9 in 2078. With Sony's revolutionary technology  utilizing its electronic nano-spores to tap straight into one's adrenal glands, the gamer will become immersed in the game play.  Because Santa vs. the Chiplets is not just one game but many. With its unique levels of game design  SVC is a multiplayer strategy, action, platform, real-time, first person shooter, role playing game. Featuring puzzles, and challenges like no other game before it.

When you play SVC,  You enter the game as Calvin the leader of a band of chipmunks , or you can play as one of his brothers Mimas and Agador. The system supports up to three players. Each character has its unique handicaps, for example Mimas is slower than the others,  Agador is blind, and Calvin has limited defense capabilities on his own. In order to pass the first level the player will have ten minutes to collect all fifteen magical exploding acorns and fill their pine tree before the evil elves of Santa chop it down. During the first boss battle the player must use five of the magical exploding acorns to take down Frosty the snowman. Whether or not the gamer(s) defeat frosty their home gets chopped down by the evil elves and is hauled away.

Once the player has liquidated Frosty, they are treated to an fmv sequence explaining the rules for the next challenge. In the second level of play, the player must master the new air guitar dance revolution karaoke system. Only through simultaneously mastering the power of the air guitar hip hop, while lip-synching to a variety of  pop music , wile also avoiding the vicious snow bunnies who wallop them with their giant candy canes of doom, can the player hope to pass this level. Once you rescue the record producer, your on your way to level three.

After completing the second level, the players are once again treated to an fmv sequence wherein the record producer they saved has an offer they can't refuse. Having witnessed the Chiplets abilities at air guitar dance revolution karaoke. The producer offers them a job as an boy-band, and as a token of good faith invites them to live with him in his suburban home. There's only one problem, the producer has a dog...a big one. Despite protests, he leaves the boys alone with the monstrous beast appropriately named Dante. The dog should  be wearing reindeer ears and a red collar with a bell to keep it Christmassy.

The challenge for the third level is to collect all of the Dante's chew toys laying around the house, and find his box of dog biscuits before Dante Chomps you. A difficult task considering the new house is a maze where making the wrong turn could cost the gamer their life. the only guide in this maze is a trail of cheese puffs that increase the avatar's  stamina. Once the cheese puffs have been eaten however, they can no longer guide the player.  For each chew toy the gamer  finds, they get an additional thirty second reprieve from Dante's wrath. After that the gamer must outrun Dante until they either  find one of  his other chew toys or they find his box of dog biscuits. Once the player finds the Dog biscuit's the level is completed.       

There will be a short fmv sequence and wherein one of the chiplets holding a dog biscuit  is running away from Dante in fear. The chiplet will then get swallowed whole by Dante. This will give the players an optional mini trivia game wherein the gamer has the option of navigating his way through the dog's digestive track, or not. The trivia quiz will be a group participation game.  After both options have reached their ultimate conclusion, another fmv sequence will occur. In this fmv sequence the dog will be seen trying to wrap his mouth around a chiplet, before finally  collapsing to the ground from exhaustion. The chiplets will think they killed the dog, when he is in fact merely unconscious. There will be an argument wherein the trio debates over who is to blame for Dante's death. Then one of them comes up with the idea that Santa owes them a favor for stealing their Christmas tree/home. Who better way to bring someone back from the dead than Santa Claus?

There will be a Frogger style mini game as the chiplets cross a one way street, a two way street, and a four lane highway before they reach the mall of America. Santa has gotta' be in there somewhere. Once the chiplets reach the mall there will be a short fmv sequence going over the rules for the puzzles and challenges of the level. After the tutorial, there will be a puzzle the Chiplets have to solve before they enter the mall. Once the chiplets enter the mall they discover Santa is on the other side of the mall. The goal of the level is to find a map and defeat the various enemies ranging from Elves with exploding gift boxes,  to living tube socks, and  avoiding the undead mall employees working in the food court who throw rat burgers and fries at you. In the mall, gamers are defenseless without their weapons, and must fight weaker enemies with only their natural kung fu ninja action skills. The gamer must find weapons in the mall in order to win their struggle against Santa's evil minions.

The weapons the team must aquire  are a pair of scissors, a spyglass, and a hula-hoop.  The first weapon they will find is the scissors, which is divided into three parts. The individual halves of the scissors and the bolt. The individual halves can be used as a katana by individual chipmunks, but only until they find the bolt at the end of the level, at which time the scissors can only be used by Mimas alone.  The next item is the spyglass which is also divided into three parts, the handle, the lens, and the bolt. Once the handle is found it can only be used by Agador as a bo staff, once the lens is found Mimas gets both halves of the sword and Calvin will use the lens as a Frisbee that bounces off enemies and returns. Once the bolt is found the gamer has the option of giving the bolt to Mimas or Agador. Giving the bolt to Agador will transform the spyglass into a laser and a club, and giving it to Mimas will give the team  a working pair of scissors. If they choose the scissors, the trio's current defense will be weakened by half. If they choose the spyglass their defense is cut by a third, but their speed increases by half.  Once the team finds the hula-hoop, Calvin can use it in the same fashion as the spyglass, as a boomerang, and to perform a whirlwind attack. The team's defense doubles as a result of this discovery. The final challenge of this level will be to use the scissors to cut a fuse, while using the hula-hoop to knock over a can of oil off a ledge, and finally using the spyglass to light the fuse.

After completing the level and starting a small fire the gamer is treated to another fmv sequence where it is revealed that Santa and the record producer are one and the same evil man. This may come across as a shock to younger gamers...be sure to play up the fact that Santa Claus is a lie. Santa will be a master DJ, have a turn table, and will throw his  LP's and explosive cookies at the Chiplets. Five cookies or two LP's will effectively kill a chipmunk. The only way to pass this level is for the team to use their boy band skills at air guitar dance revolution karaoke. The level ends when the team reaches the other side of the dance floor. There will be another fmv showing Santa's escape, followed by a the Chiplets performing a rap video.

Santa Claus vs. The Chiplets will be rated T for teen because of comic mischief, arson,  and fantasy violence. The teenage mutant ninja chipmunks concept will appeal to males of all ages, and the avatars cute factor should also market well with the ladies. In short, the marketing department should have no problems. There may be some legal issues, but considering it's a parody of an existing franchise, the legal controversy should boost game sales astronomically. Also, there appears to be a shortage of about 90,000  Playstation 9 consoles being shipped to the U.S. which should increase sales exponentionaly in key cities such as Los Angeles and parts of southern Nevada.     

Remember, as the first game for the PS9 console  Santa Claus vs. The Chiplets must display the full capabilities of the innovative new system. The mechanics of the individual levels and fmv sequences must blend seamlessly. Also bear in mind that the marketing for Santa vs. the Chiplets and the  Playstation 9 will be directly linked by the movie as directed by Ed Wood Boll, grandson of legendary director Uwe Boll. Mr Boll  has assured us  that the movie will be an independent masterpiece unlike any other. Unfortunately, since  we have no idea what the movie is about at this time we must ensure the game is an unwarranted success.
                       

[GabrielsThoughts]

Santa Claus vs the chiplets
Rough draft was here...

[GabrielsThoughts]

A GRIM TRAGEDY
by
Gabriel R. Lopez

Gabriel R. Lopez
gabbygt@z6.com
(address withheld)
Henderson, NV 89009







EXT. BUS STOP

A young DRUG DEALER, about 20 years old tries to sell drugs to a 14 year old girl, but stops when a dodge pickup pulls up.
The DRUG DEALER seems to recognize the driver. The driver looks thin and doesn't appear to shave regularly. The driver is wearing a stained T-shirt, Black Jeans and ratty looking black sneakers.


1.


DRUG DEALER
Hey Danny!

DANIEL
Hop in.

DRUG DEALER gets into the dodge pickup, DANNY and the DRUG-DEALER drive off.

INT. DODGE PICKUP

DRUG DEALER
What up Danny? (sniffs, the Drug dealer seems to have a bit of a head cold and coughs) You need anything.

DANIEL
Yeah man, you know where I can find Lenore?


EXT. PICKUP

DANIEL
(V.O.) I wasn't always like this. I had a good job, a life, family. But that all changed when I met Lenore....

FADE OUT

INT. BEDROOM -SUBURBAN HOME

Victor is half dressed,  standing in front of a window looking out into a suburban setting through vertical blinds, a young man is mowing the front yard...a small 3ft by 5ft patch of grass surrounded  by a two foot border of pebbles, large rocks, and a small squirrel shaped statuette. Victor then closes the blinds.



2.


MELISSA is pregnant, she is laying in bed looking at the ceiling fan, laying across her lap is a child. Melissa strokes  child X's head as child Y is sitting Indian style, staring blankly at the television set... both children are 5-10 years old and are  watching the big bird movie.

VICTOR an MELISSA are not married, Melissa is still married to DANIEL. The two  are separated and Victor is her live in boyfriend.



VICTOR
Las Vegas is the city of lights. America's playground.  The one location where you can find everything you've ever wanted, and you're worried about some jackass that cheated on you,  destroyed your family, and exposed your children to drugs.

MELISSA
Oh, come on Vic. He's not that bad.

VICTOR
Your not seeing the whole picture here darling. He's charmed you into believing that he's become a new man. You can't see the truth because you've known him for so long that you ignore-

MELISSA
Ha! You're jealous.

VICTOR
No, I  just don't want him to hurt you again. Can't you see,  he doesn't really love you, he's just using you.
 


3.


MELISSA
Victor. When you love someone, you don't stop loving them. The love just stops growing. When Daniel got hooked, it set a bad example for our children, it put our family in harms way, and it may have...  Just how do I put this?  But, Just because Daniel uses drugs, doesn't mean he doesn't love our kids, it just means he got hooked.

VICTOR
Oh, Come on Melissa. If he cared about you he would have signed the divorce papers. He would have let me be their (the children's) father. He's selfish.



MELISSA
Who isn't?   I've known him for twelve years. We went to high school together. He may not be the best father, but he's better than mine was.


The phone on the nightstand rings. Melissa answers the phone and discovers Daniel, her estranged husband, is in the hospital from a drug overdose.

MELISSA
I understand...I'll be right over. [Claps her hands] All right time to get dressed.

The children leave, one of them complains.

VICTOR
What's wrong?


4.


MELISSA
The hospital they... It was about Daniel.

FADE OUT

INT. HOSPITAL - EMERGENCEY ROOM/FRONT DESK.
MELISSA is talking with a nurse. She is carrying X and holding Y by the hand.

MELISSA
Hello, my names is Melissa Becker. My husband was brought in recently for a drug overdose.


NURSE
Ok, you're going to have to fill out a few forms.

Find some legitimate reason a nurse would allow the following.

NURSE
But, you can see him right now.

An orderly  passes behind the nurse at the counter.


Nurse
Stacy! Could you take miss ...


MELISSA
Becker.

NURSE
Stacy, Could you escort Miss Becker to 16-A.

FADE OUT




5.


INT. HOSPITAL - BEDROOM
STACY escorts Melissa into the room alone.
DANIEL is attached to an IV, and looks pretty beat up.

DANIEL
(groggy) heeey!

MELISSA
(sighs) how you feeling?

DANIEL
(sarcastic) Great! How's the kids?

MELISSA
Their doing pretty good, Kevin's made the honor roll.

DANIEL
Did he now...pretty smart, like his father.

MELISSA
Dan, I...I need you to sign over you paternity rights to the baby.

DANIEL
No...let me be his father. I'll be the baby's father.

MELISSA
He's not yours.

DANIEL
I know, but I love you. And, if he's your baby he'll be mine too.
A DRUG COUNCILOR enters the room.

D.C.
Mrs. Becker, may I have a word with you in private?

MELISSA looks at Daniel.

6.



DANIEL
I don't mind. Go.

EXT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR
MELISSA and the DRUG COUNCILOR are discussing ways to help Daniel  with his addiction.

MELISSA
I just don't know what to do anymore.



D.C.
Have you ever heard of tough love?

MELISSA
What's that?



D.C.
Normally, individuals who are chemically dependent find support from friends and family members, and this enables them to continue destroying themselves. What I'm suggesting is that you  withdraw your support from the person...Daniel.  He can't live with you , he can't contact you, your  family, or his friends.

MELISSA
He's already staying with his mother, and we still share a joint bank account.

D.C.
Then you'll have to open a new bank account and get his mother involved somehow.

7.


FADE OUT

DANIEL is leaving the hospital. He is wearing a blue denim jacket, a red T-shirt,ratty black jeans and matching shoes. Daniel is holding a bouquet of flowers. There is a TAXI  waiting near the exit. Daniel exit's the hospital, gets into the passenger seat of the Taxi and rides off.

The camera then cuts to the Taxi pulling up the driveway of a thirty year old trailer home.
Daniel  pays the driver shakes his hand and then exit's the vehicle with the bouquet. Daniel then approaches the door. He knocks on the door...no one answers.

EXT. TRAILER HOME

DANIEL
YO! Mama , it's me Daniel.

Daniel knocks on the door again


DANIEL
Mama! You there?

An elderly woman exit's the trailer home.

DANIEL
Grandma?

BITA
You can't come here Daniel, you're not welcome.

DANIEL
Where's Mama?

BITA
(slaps Daniel) Your mama's asleep. You kept her up all night worrying about you. And,  Melissa dropped by with the kids after trying to help you. You ought to be ashamed of you self;



8.


BITA
(continued)
having a pregnant worrying about you. Now you get your ass in that Taxi and leave, before I call the cops.

DANIEL
Aw, c'mon  Bita.

Bita enters the trailer home, pulls out a shotgun. Bita then primes the gun. Daniel see's the gun, backs away and falls on his ass.

BITA
Hit the road Jack.

Daniel pulls himself to his feet, stands up and raises his hands and backs away to the taxi.


DANIEL
Chill! I know where I'm not wanted.

DANIEL crawls into the taxi.
FADE OUT

INT- HOTEL LOBBY
DANIEL walks up to the registration desk. The clerk's name is CASEY, as this can be seen on her nametag.

CASEY
Can we help you sir?

DANIEL
Yeah, I need a room for the night...

CASEY
(typing into the computer) Would you like a room overlooking the pool?

9.


DANIEL
Don't care.

CASEY
Ok, we'll need your drivers License and a credit card.

DANIEL pulls his wallet out of his pocket

CASEY
Would you like to buy some insurance? It comes with a room discount.

DANIEL
What's it for?

DANIEL fishes out his drivers license and a credit card from the wallet.


CASEY
For a small fee of ten dollars, you get the piece of mind that
comes with the knowledge your room is safe.  That, and you won't be charged for any damages that may ... 

DANIEL
Whatever, How much is the discount?

CASEY
Five dollars.

DANIEL
No, I think I'll take my chances.

CASEY
All righty.

CASEY continues typing into the computer

10.


CASEY
That's strange...according to this your credit card has been canceled.

DANIEL hands her another credit card.

CASEY
We're sorry, this one appears to be canceled also.

DANIEL
How's that possible?

CASEY
We wouldn't know sir, we just work here.

DANIEL
No, I mean that's my debit card. It's linked directly to my bank account.
CASEY
If you'd like we can contact the bank for you.

DANIEL
Who the hell is this "we" you keep referring too? Do you got a mouse in your pocket?

CASEY
Are you implying something?

DANIEL
No I'm just wondering, Is there some magical fairy floating around the room that I can't see?

CASEY
Sir, I'm afraid that we're going to have to ask you to leave. Vagrants aren't welcome here.


11.


DANIEL
Listen lady, you do not want to fuck with a working man.


CASEY
Well, if you were a working man you wouldn't have any trouble paying for your room.

DANIEL grabs his license and credit cards off the desk.

DANIEL
Bitch!

DANIEL leaves the hotel.

FADE OUT
INT. WHITE DODGE PICKUP
DANIEL Pulls up to a bus stop. Rolls down the passenger window. The DRUG DEALER recognizes Danny.

DRUG DEALER
Hey Danny!



DANIEL
Hop in.

DRUG DEALER
What up Danny? (sniffs,the Drug dealer seems to have a bit of a head cold and coughs) You need anything.

DANIEL
Yeah man, you know where I can find Lenore?

DRUG DEALER
I know where to find her. She's kickin' it over at Las Brisas' off of Maryland.

12.


DANIEL
Shit. She still trying to kill herself?

DRUG DEALER
Friend, I don't want to talk about her any more. What about you?

DANIEL
What about me?

DRUG DEALER
What you up too?  You look like you been sat on by an elephant.

DANIEL
Mama kicked me out. I had  to spend the night at a chapel.

DRUG DEALER
Harsh...you believe in god?

DANIEL
What do you care?


DRUG DEALER
Just making conversation.

DANIEL
Need me to drop you off somewhere?

DRUG DEALER
Since you're heading out there anyway, you may as well drop me of at  Lucky's.

FADE OUT
INT. APARTMENT COMPLEX

DANIEL enters the apartment complex belonging to LENORE.  Lenore's apartment is  a 450sqft  one bedroom  apartment. Lenore is sharing the apartment with two room mates and a dog. Daniel  knocks on the door and waits impatiently, fidgeting. Lenore peeks through the peep hole unlatches  the door.

13.


LENORE
Hey Daniel.

DANIEL
Whatever.

INT. APARTMENT
DANIEL brushes past Lenore and heads for the kitchen. He pulls out a carton orange juice from the refrigerator. The dog follows him around wagging its tail

DANIEL
How's Cathy?

LENORE
She's doing good.


DANIEL
She still a stripper?

LENORE
No, she's a nurse now. She's working over at Desert Shadow. So, how are your kids?

DANIEL
They're fine.

LENORE
You doing ok?

DANIEL
(sips orange juice)Yeah.

LENORE
You look like you've been run over by a steamroller.



14.


DANIEL
(irritated) I said I'm fine.
DANIEL moves to living room and sits in a green sofa. The dog hops on the sofa and Daniel scratches it between the ears.

LENORE
You sure?

DANIEL
(grinds his teeth) I told you already I'm FINE.

LENORE
You don't sound fine.

DANIEL
I was up around 2:30 last night. I spent the night on a chapel floor and I've been up since they opened the doors at 4o'clock.
LENORE
What were you doing at the chapel?

DANIEL
(lays back, shuts his eyes and falls asleep)

FADE OUT

A GUNSHOT is heard DANIEL wakes up immediately.  His eyes dart around to find the source of the sound. His eyes fall to the sight of  LENORE'S body. The dog barks. Lenore shot herself in the chest, and the blood is leaking out over her shirt. Daniel rushes to her body to check for a pulse. He holds her limp body for a while and starts crying before calling the police.

FADE OUT

INT. INTEROGATION ROOM
DETECTIVES are interviewing DANIEL.

15.


DETECTIVE A
You expect us to believe this wasn't the first time she tried to commit suicide.


DANIEL
Look, I don't care what you believe. All I know is she suffers...suffered from clinical depression. When I first met her she walked  into the path of a city bus. The girl isn't exactly on the level.

DETECTIVE B
And so you bought her the dog to keep her occupied?




DANIEL
Yeah, I thought if she had something to take care of, she wouldn't ...

DETECTIVE A
Last week she was in the emergency room for an aspirin overdose.

DANIEL
Hey, I had nothing to do with that. I wasn't even with her. A week before that she tried to drown herself in the bathroom toilet. And about a week before that she tried to asphyxiate herself with the cord of a hair dryer. And a few days before that she tried to electrocute herself with the office toaster.


16.


DANIEL
(continuing) 
Oh, and about a month before  that she jumped into one of the shark tanks at Mandalay Bay.


DETECTIVE B
I see, and you expect us to believe you had nothing to do with her previous suicide attempts?

DANIEL
Why do you think I started using drugs? Look, if you're going to book me, then book me. I
Don't care anymore.

DANIEL gets up and leaves the interrogation room.

FADE OUT
EXT. MELISSA'S SUBURBAN HOME
DANIEL pulls up the driveway in his dodge pickup. He sits quietly, looking mildly depressed he sighs, then exit's the vehicle.

EXT. DOORWAY SUBURBAN HOME.
DANIEL knocks, adjusts his jacket, sniffles, coughs,  then rings the doorbell. A woman answers the door, she Identifies herself as the BABYSITTER.

DANIEL
Um...is Melissa home?

BABYSITTER
She's at the hospital with Victor. I'm just looking after kids until they get back.

DANIEL
Oh...um. Would it be alright if I see my kids?


17.


BABYSITTER
You Daniel?

DANIEL
Yeah.

BABYSITTER
They're asleep, and I was told that you weren't welcome here.

DANIEL
Could you tell them ...my kids that I love them.

BABSITTER
Don't count on it.

DANIEL
I understand.

DANIEL gets into his pickup and leaves.

EXT.  TRAILER HOME
DANIEL has returned to his mom's trailer home. It's late, the lights are on but no one appears to be home.

DANIEL
Mama! Listen to me. It wasn't my fault. It was Lenore. I swear I would have never done anything like that on my own. She tied me up mama. You have to believe me I would have never done that on my own...I- I'm sorry mama. I just wanted you to know I still love you. And I... I miss you mama.

DANIEL returns to his pickup and leaves.

INT.  TRAILER HOME
Danny's mom is crying.




18.


EXT. A LONELY STRETCH OF ROAD IN NORTH LAS VEGAS
DANIEL sits alone in his pickup. He stares blankly at the light as it turns red. As he waits for the light to change. He is alone and grieving...the radio starts playing a sad country song. Daniel closes his eyes and tears well up into them and he begins to weep. As he weeps there is a tap on his window.

The tap is followed by another, the sound is that of a gun being tapped against the windshield or drivers side window by a CAR_JACKER.

DANIEL chuckles and leans across the steering wheel laying his head across his forearm . At this point  Daniel  no longer cares what happens to him anymore.

CAR_JACKER
Get out of the car asshole.

DANIEL opens the truck's door slowly at first and then quickly snaps it into the carjacker, pushing the man off balance.

The CAR_JACKER falls to the ground and drops the gun. The carjacker regains his footing and starts running as  Daniel gets out of his truck.

DANIEL gets out of the truck chases the carjacker, stops, picks up a large rock the size of a baseball and hurls it at the carjacker. It was a direct hit.

The CAR_JACKER falls to the ground after being hit by the rock.

DANIEL returns to his truck picks up the gun and drives off.

EXT. PARK BENCH
DANIEL is sitting alone. He is drowning in the depths of despair. Daniel is hunched over, he still has the gun. Using the palm of his left hand he wipes the tears form his eyes. Daniel stifles a chuckle. Gun in hand pointed to the ground. We hear a click as Daniel pulls back the hammer.

19.

DANIEL sniffles once before he brings the gun to his head and releases the trigger.

BANG!!!

FADE OUT

INT. HOSPITAL DELIVERY ROOM.
We discover Melissa has given birth to twins. A nurse is asking her a few questions.

NURSE BETTY
So, what you going to name them?
MELISSA is completely unaware that Daniel has committed suicide.

MELISSA
I want to name them after their father.

NURSE BETTY
Victor and Victoria?

MELISSA
Oh, Victor isn't their father. Their names are Dan and Danielle.

FADE OUT
THE END

[GabrielsThoughts]

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/unholyrp46.jpg

Although I can't remember what it is about it in the first place

Quentyn is (c) RH junior.  author of Hard Onions and Tales of the Questor

and Tapewolf belongs to some completely anonymous and entirely obscure individual...

[Zina]

Gaberialthoughts, please keep all your art posts to one thread. If nothing else, stop making a new thread for every single piece of new art you make/find.

[bill]

thanks we have to make a new rule now and i have to make effort writing it


god dammit

[GabrielsThoughts]

since I'm sure this is going to come up anyway

http://clockworkmansion.com/forum/index.php/topic,607.0.html

and since at least one person other than myself thinks all my raccoon/cat looking things I draw look all the same I assume that is true for more than one... as you can see,  RH junior character  is more pudgy and has more human anatomy. The body design for mine was loosely based on Timon from Lion King.


also about the thread , I'm not really complaining but Santa Vs. The Chiplets was an independent comic/artwork/game studio project independent  from the others just as a was A grim tragedy would have been an animation/comic project.   I couldn't garuntee that the number of threads apearing in the forum at any given time in the future. at most there woul only be three... 

1.) for the current storyline of Not intentionally obsessive

2.) one or two on the page depending on which project took priority during the week.

I like keeping myself busy, I apologize for the inconvenience.

[Tapewolf]

UHRP strip 46

Okay, that's in the archives...

[GabrielsThoughts]

SANTA VS. THE CHIPLETS BOOK ONE
THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
by
Gabriel R. Lopez


Gabriel R. Lopez
gabbygt@z6.com
  P.O. box 91061
Henderson, NV 89009



OPENING SCENE- we see a single squirrel/chipmunk, CALVIN,  on a suburban sidewalk somewhere in the southwestern United States. The squirrel is wearing a bottle cap as a hat, and is humming the tune to song by the KGB. The squirrel then stops humming and starts singing aloud.

CALVIN
(singing) I've got lots of shiny objects, furry paws and lots of problems. Plotting furry plots to wreck the mix and turn us all into communists.

CUT TO




1.


EXT. TREE BRANCH 2
We see Calvin has gathered a large pile of acorns and the load is overbalanced.  Calvin narrowly averts tripping over his feet twice as he continues singing  with his eyes closed.

CALVIN
(singing) Another sucker down the line, another day another dime. Another page, another line

[THWAK!] Calvin is hit by an acorn that was thrown from another  branch overhead. We see Calvin slip, throw all the acorns in the air, fall forward, and get clonked by the acorns he had gathered.

CALVIN
ow.

CHIPMUNK VOICE 2
(O.S.) Darn it Calvin!

CUT TO

EXT. TREE BRANCH 1
We see another squirrel, MIMAS, who appears irritated.

MIMAS
You were sleep walking again!

CALVIN
Was not!

MIMAS
Then what the heck were you doing up so early.


CALVIN
Not all of us are nocturnal you know.

MIMAS
I don't care. It's my quiet time, so get lost!


2.



(O.S) CHIPMUNK VOICE 3
Guys! Guys! Lookie what I found!

EXT. SUBURBAN SIDWALK
We see a third squirrel, AGADOR holding a personal media player. which at chipmunk scale is about the same size as a thirty inch plasma screen.

AGADOR
I think it's a personal media player.

CALVIN
Cool! Let me see.

Calvin rushes down the trunk of the tree and takes the personal media player from Agador. Through an over the shoulder shot we can see Calvin press the power button and search through the on screen display, games, mp3, GPS, etc. We then cut two a cowboy two shot with Calvin, Agador, and the Media Player.

CALVIN
Let's see, Justin Long, Jesse McCartney, Ozzy Osborne, Wheezer....who listens to this crap?

AGADOR
OOH! Urban Chipmunk. Play that one!

MEDIA PLAYER
(MP3) The devil went down to Georgia, he was lookin' for a soul to steal...

AGADOR and CALVIN
Lame.

The camera pulls back to reveal a cat is looking over their shoulder. The cat, ready to pounce, twitches it's tail in anticipation. Calvin and Agador realize a feline three times their size is about to get them.




3.



AGADOR
RUN!

CALVIN
jerk!

Calvin complains and almost losses his balance and drops the media player, which at chipmunk scale is still the same size as a thirty inch plasma screen. Agador bolts, leaving Calvin with the Media Player. Calvin runs while holding the media player and tosses it before almost getting pounced and  running up the tree to escape. Once in the tree Calvin regroups with Mimas and Agador. Agador is wheezing, and Mimas is holding an acorn, slightly confused. Calvin steals the acorn from Mimas and throws it at the Cat.


MIMAS
Hey!

AGADOR
What are you doing?

CALVIN
Hey ya' stupid cat. You can't get me. You can't get me nyah, nyah, nya, nyah, nyah!

MIMAS
Calvin!

CALVIN
What?

MIMAS
Cat's can climb trees stupid.

CALVIN
Hey, I'm not stupid, you're stupid.

MIMAS
Evidently not as stupid as you.




4.


CALVIN
You're just jealous 'cause I can read.

AGADOR
(Scared) Uh...G-guys.

MIMAS and CALVIN
What!

AGADOR
She's climbing up the tree!

CALVIN
Every man for himself!

Calvin and Mimas mash into each other running in opposite directions and fall from the branch they're on onto the branch bellow. Mimas barely catches onto a stem of the branch and Calvin lands on the branch saddle sore. Agador rushes down the tree to help Mimas before the stem snaps. Meanwhile the cat has finally caught up to the trio.

AGADOR and MIMAS
(hugging in terror)eek!

Meanwhile Calvin, who is clinging to the underside of the same branch, grabs Mimas legs in an attempt to pull himself up and winds up dragging Mimas and Agador off the branch and all three fall grabbing onto a thin branch bellow. Agador and Mimas glare at Calvin.

CALVIN
Oh right, like this is my fault.

The thin branch snaps and the trio hit the ground bellow.

CALVIN
You know, we're going to be laughing about this tomorrow.

MIMAS
You're assuming I'll let you live to see tomorrow.



5.



Mimas grabs Calvin and starts choking him Homer Simpson style.

CALVIN
(choking)gurk!

AGADOR
Guys, Stop!

MIMAS
Oh, I plan to stop. Just as soon as he stops moving.

AGADOR
But I don't want to be breakfast!






Mimas stops choking Calvin as his eyes close and his body goes limp like a possum. A plop is heard as the cat drops from the tree. The cat licks her lips as she slowly approaches the trio near the sidewalk below. Mimas grabs Calvin and uses his Seemingly unconscious form as a body shield. Simultaneously, Agador backs away from the duo tripping over an acorn in the process and falls on his butt.

MIMAS
Take him! He's delicious.

Calvin cracks open his eyes for a split second a look of hurt, betrayal, and curiosity crossing his face as he's looking around surveying the area. The cat doesn't move, an evil smirk on its face. The feline aggressor licks her lips. Turns his head to look at a nearby wooden fence.

CALVIN
Run!

The three chipmunks make a mad dash following Calvin as he approaches the fence.

CUT TO

.6

EXT.FENCE SUBURBAN HOME
The fence has a gap no wider than a peanut broken from the fence at the corner  through which Calvin squeezes through easily. Mimas unfortunately gets stuck and Agador in a hurry rushes into him and pushes Mimas through, while crawling through the gap himself.

CUT TO

INT. FENCE SUBURBAN BACKYARD
The cat climbs over the fence and continues her chase as the three chipmunks are running over around and through assorted objects(hose, garden gnomes, flower bed, children's toys, etc.) in the back yard. There is a hissing sound as the sprinkler system activates. Calvin's is abruptly stopped when his head collides with the head of one of the sprinklers. The others catch up and help Calvin to his feet while continuing to run from the cat. Calvin regains his footing and is soon keeping pace with the others they soon make it to the gate leading from the back yard to the front of the property. Calvin, Mimas, and Agador easily slip through the three inch gap between the paved walkway and the gateway, the cat however finds herself stuck momentarily and loses ground.

The rodent trio rushes across the front yard, and dash up a ramp into an open U-Haul truck.

INT.U-HAUL TRUCK (back)
We see the cat slowly prowl up the ramp of the loaded U-haul. As the camera pans right we see three very wet chipmunks covered in mud, breathing heavily, and hiding behind a couch as their doom approaches. The cat is now moments away from snatching one of the rodents as breakfast.

(O.S.)WOMAN'S VOICE
Grither!

The woman climbs into the back of the U-Haul and pick up Grither.

GRITHER
Meow?





7.


WOMAN
(Gasp)Grither, You're so filthy. Now I have to take you groomer right away.

The woman and the cat leave the U-Haul. Calvin, Mimas and Agador breath a sigh of relief.

Calvin
Thank heavens. Let's get the heck out of here.

Darkness surrounds the trio as the door to the back of the U haul slide's shut. The camera shifts to night vision green. There is a pause as Mimas and Agador glare at Calvin.

Calvin
Oh c'mon guys. We didn't need that place anyway.

FADE TO BLACK SCREEN

CALVIN
(O.S.)Ok, so you're probably wondering where we came from, or why we can talk. The simplest answer to both these questions is Satan. Of course that would be a lie. The truth is  we were created in a laboratory. Cloned from chipmunk DNA as part of a privately funded research project by the RIAA.

INT. LABORATORY
Chipmunk perspective. We see an extreme close up of a human face warped by glass, plastic, etc.

GREG
They're amazing!

The camera cuts to a cowboy shot of Greg leaning over the table peering through a clear plastic or glass shell. A scientist is standing behind him adjusting his glasses. Inside the shell the chipmunks are scratching themselves


8.


SCIENTIST
Indeed, of the 666 embryos we created in the lab these three were the only ones to survive to maturation.

GREG
Interesting, do they do anything?

SCIENTIST
We weren't exactly clear on why the RIAA wanted to make them in the first place. In fact, the boys in the lab had a wager going to see if anyone from the RIAA was going to show up to see the final product. Guess I lost.




GREG
Well what the hell am I supposed to do with them?

SCIENTIST
Well, we could always euthanize them. But, it seems like a waste of thirteen billion dollars.

GREG
Go for it.

CALVIN
(mimicking Greg)Go for it.

GREG
Did he just talk?

CALVIN
Did he just tock?






9.

SCIENTIST
Yes, it seams to be a result of their genetic manipulation. They can mimic just about anything. My daughter likes the little one.

AGADOR
I'm sexy, I'm Cute, I'm popular to boot.

GREG
Do you think they know we're talking about them?

SCIENTIST
I doubt it. Mostly they're just-

MIMAS
Free the caterpillars, liberate the caterpillars.


CALVIN
Free the caterpillars!

AGADOR
Free the caterpillars!

SCIENTIST
...Annoying.

GREG
I don't know, with the right marketing we can sell anything.

SCIENTIST
You expect people to pay money to hear squeaky munchkin voices.

GREG
We control 90% of the American music industry. America listens to what we tell them too.





10.


SCIENTIST
any way I can cash in on this as well?

CUT TO

EXT.RIAA HEADQUARTERS
We see a 2009 black Lexus hybrid enter past a security checkpoint. The driver, Greg, exchanges a few pleasantries with the guard before entering the facility. We then see the Lexus enter a reserved parking space. Greg then exit's the car with a small cat carrier and walks up to the entrance, swipes a card and enters a 12 digit code. There is a beep and the door opens.







INT.RIAA HEADQUARTERS
Greg enters an elevator. And pushes button for the 3rd  floor. While he's waiting a hidden robotic arm detaches itself from the wall. The robotic arm has a scanner that passes over Greg's body starting from his feet to the top of his head; revealing internal organs momentarily as it sweeps. After completing it's initial sweep the scanner of the arm reconfigures itself momentarily morphing into a retinal scanner. After shining a laser across Greg's eyes the arm retracts.

MECHANICAL VOICE
Greg Flanders, Confirmed.

The door to the elevator slides open and Greg exit's the elevator. He then walks up to the reception desk.

GREG
Excuse me, I have a meeting with Mr.Halliburton.

MONICA
Go in, he's been expecting you.



11.



Monica then pushes a button to unlock the door to Halliburton's office. The double doors automatically open to the outside.

HALLIBURTON
Ah! Greg, to what do I owe this pleasure.

GREG
Sir, I've discovered who was responsible for the profit drain during the last quarter, and have eliminated the problem.

HALLIBURTON
Good job number one, I take it there is something else you wanted to discuss.


GREG
As a matter of fact, there is something I felt you should see.

Greg places the cat carrier on Halliburton's desk and opens the gate. Calvin, Mimas, and Agador tentatively exit the cat carrier.


GREG
A few years ago someone from R&D decided to invest in vibro-acoustic aphrodisiacs, Memetic audio physics, and hypno-acoustic melodies. Unfortunately, after it was approved the whole project was apparently forgotten.

We see Calvin sitting patiently picking his nose. Mimas has apparently mummified himself with the tape dispenser and Agador is busy messing with the stapler





12.



HALLIBURTON
I see.

GREG
Allow me to present the Squirrel Nut Slackers!

CALVIN
Hey guys, Check out this green thing I pulled out of my nose.

Calvin stares amazed at the booger in the palm of his hand.

MIMAS
Cool!

Mimas trips over his feet as his left foot gets stuck on sticky tape and falls on his face.


AGADOR
Mine!

Agador rushes Calvin and eats the bugger off of Calvin's palm. Mimas is still fiddling around with tape.

CALVIN
Eww!

MIMAS
(whining)Awe! I wanted some.

GREG
Boys!

CALVIN, MIMAS, and AGADOR
What?

GREG
Show Mr.Halliburton the routine.






13.



CALVIN, MIMAS, and AGADOR 
(dancing the kangaroo hop)Circle, circle, dot, dot I just got my cootie shot.

Once the chipmunks have their rhythm down they stop dancing and Calvin begins to sing.

CALVIN
Who's the one to take you in at night, and told you everything was gonna be all white...

CALVIN, MIMAS, and AGADOR 
It was Mama.

CALVIN
And, who's the one that would understand if you broke that vase in the living room.

CALVIN, MIMAS, and AGADOR 
It was Mama. Oh, mamma.

CAlVIN
And, who's the one that wood undersand-

HALLIBURTON
I've heard enough. They can't carry a tune.

GREG
They've already cost the company thirteen billion dollars, and I've only had them an hour. Imagine what we could accomplish if I had them for a week.








14.


HALLIBURTON
Get rid of them. They're disgusting, and I can't see anyone willing to pay hard earned money to see a bunch of mutant gerbils singing on stage.

GREG
That's not a problem we could use view screens and-

HALLIBUTON
I'll make this easy for you. I'll contact PETA and they'll do the job for us.

GREG
But sir, PETA kills the animals it rescues.


HALLIBUTON
What's your point?

GREG
Wouldn't it be easier and more cost effective to abandon them in a park somewhere? I'm sure they wouldn't last the night.

HALLIBURTON
I like the way you think.

FADE OUT

INT.U-HAUL TRUCK(back)
The door of the u-haul slides open and movers begin unloading the truck. A woman enters the truck, her name is KAELEA she's in her early 20's and is wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. she picks up a box marked fragile and is having a conversation with someone off camera.

KAELEA
Oh my god Kevin. I can't believe you broke the microwave.


15.



KEVIN enters the U-haul. Also in his twenties he has a five o'clock shadow. He is wearing a muscle shirt, blue jeans, and hiking boots. A rolled up newspaper is poking out of his back pocket. Kevin picks up a box. On the box, one can see the word laserdiscs has been scratched out and replaced with kitchen.

KEVIN
What's the big deal, we'll just go to best buy and get a new one.

Kaelea places and balances the box marked fragile on top of the box Kevin is holding.

KAELEA
Oh right, like we can afford it after all the money we spent moving.


KEVIN
Oh please, they cost like fifty dollars, I'm sure I can pawn enough DVD's to make up the difference.

KAELEA
Ha! We couldn't even afford real movers.


Kevin leaves the van Kaelea picks up another box, and then immediately drops the box and shrieks when she sees Calvin, Mimas, and Agador. Calvin yawns and looks up to see the horrified Kaelea.

CALVIN
Mama?

MIMAS
Eh?






16.



Kaelea screams again reaching into her pocket she pulls out her keychain and fires mace at the chipmunks.

CALVIN,MIMAS and AGADOR
AHH!

Calvin covers his eyes immidiately as Agador uses Mimas as a human sheild by closing his eyes and huddling behind him.

MIMAS
My eyes!

CALVIN
My nose!

AGADOR
My neck!

while the chipmunks are screaming, The sound of broken glass can be heard coming in from outside the U-haul as Kevin rushes in.

KEVIN
What's wrong?

Kaelea
(hyperventilating) Look.

Kevin sees the chipmunks.

KEVIN
It's okay honey, calm down they're just rats. I'm sure they're more afraid of us than you are of them.


Kevin is comforting Kaelea by holding her. Mimas, his eyes shut, is wandering around with his arms out stretched ahead of him as if he is looking for something. Calvin helps Agador to his feet.

MIMAS
Calvin!



17.


CALVIN
Don't worry buddy, I'm here for you.

KEVIN
(shocked) Jesus Christ, they can talk!

MIMAS
Good! (teeth clenched in pain)'Cause I'm going to kick you're-

Whap! Wap! Whap! Kevin swats MIMAS with the newspaper that was in his back pocket, but Kevin is unable to land blows on either Calvin or Agador as they dodge out of the way. Calvin and Agador gain some ground, no more than three feet before they realize somebody is missing.

CALVIN
Mimas?

AGADOR
Man Down!

Agador doubles back as Calvin continues down the ramp to escape. Calvin groans has a change of heart and doubles back up the ramp to help Agador. Kevin is busy trying to stomp Agador as Calvin jumps several boxes to get to Agador.

CALVIN
C'mon

AGADOR
No!

Stomp, thump, Calvin and Agador dodge the human, Calvin sees Mimas huddled in a corner rolled into a ball.

CALVIN
Get up, get up, get up!

Calvin tries to get Mimas to uncurl and pulls him by the arm. Mimas pulls his arm back and remains in ball form.




18.



MIMAS
Go away!

CALVIN
OK, you asked for it.

Calvin gets behind him and after a moment of struggle starts rolling him. Calvin then pushes Mimas toward the exit ramp like a giant ball. Once they get to the ramp Calvin gives a final push and Mimas rolls down to the bottom of the ramp and while uncurling and stops rolling with once he reaches the bottom. Calvin then doubles back to rescue Agador, who has been backed into a corner terrified, and is about to be stomped by the giant Kevin. With his right leg hiked in the air Kevin has no defense against Calvin. Calvin hops onto the back of Kevin's left shoe, stuffs his head under the pant leg, and chomps down hard.

KEVIN
Yow!

Kevin, unbalanced, falls to the ground with a thud. Calvin and Agador bounce into the air, riding the shockwave of the impact. Calvin looks at Agador.

CALVIN
C'mon Lets go.

The two chipmunks exit the U-Haul and rundown the ramp as the screen fades to black.

FADE OUT


EXT.FLOWER BED NEAR GARBAGE CANS
The sky is cloudy, the daylight is dimmed considerably the three chipmunks are huddled together cold, wet, and scared.


CALVIN
Mimas, you ok.





19.



MIMAS
No. My eyes are all scratchy and everything looks like a mega white blur.

AGADOR
Achoo! Sniffle.

CALVIN
This is awful.

MIMAS
Maybe we should live out in the wild, like real chipmunks.

CALVIN
Are you out of your mind?



AGADOR
Seriously. We could live like hippies.

MIMAS
Yeah, and I bet the woods doesn't have near as many cats, bears, or foxes roaming around.

CALVIN
Duh, that's because there's no food in the woods.

AGADOR
We don't know that.

CALVIN
Oh yeah, well being homeless sucks.

MIMAS
We wouldn't be homeless, we'd be living in the woods.




20.



CALVIN
It's the same thing.

AGADOR
(has an idea)I know what we can do.

CALVIN
Really?

AGADOR
Well, I was thinking we could find a struggling artist, become his muse, and teach him the meaning of family. If we milk it right,  we could probably ransack his house and mooch off of him for a few days.



Calvin
No. That's just mean... and why does it have to be a guy.

MIMAS
Yeah, that's a stupid idea.

CALVIN
I was thinking more along the lines of working for the burger hut.

MIMAS and AGADOR
Burger hut?

CALVIN
You know, the place where Greg abandoned us.

MIMAS
Oh yeah, just after he bought us three milkshakes and a box of French fries.




21.



AGADOR
Hey, look over there.

Agador runs off camera to find something.

CALVIN
Aggie, come back!

Calvin chases after him leaving Agador by himself.

AGADOR
Guys?

Agador wanders off in the direction the others wandered off too his arms outstretched like a blind man looking for his walking stick.

AGADOR
Guys?

FADE OUT

EXT.SMALL DOGGIE DOOR (random home)

AGADOR
Look at this, I've seen them before the humans use them to invite other animals into their home. Watch.

Calvin watches as Agador pushes the doggie door and it swings back and fourth. a waft of cool air exit's the door.

CALVIN
I don't know Aggie, something about this doesn't seem right.

AGADOR
Well look at the size of the door.

CALVIN
What's you point?





22.


AGADOR
I don't think a cat could fit through there.

Calvin realizes something and looks around.

CALVIN
Where's Mimas?

CUT TO
EXT.ROAD
Mimas is wandering the street with his hands outstretched, still blinded from the pepper spray.

MIMAS
Guys, this isn't funny anymore.

A Toyota Prius passes overhead, the car narrowly misses Mimas who trips over a large spyglass that was left in the middle of the road. Mimas picks up the bottom end of the spyglass. With the magnifying lens touching the roadway. Mimas is oblivious to the danger he is in because the Prius doesn't give off much sound.


MIMAS
Hmm, I wonder what this thing is?

Mimas begins to lift the lens of the spyglass to his face. But is twirled around as yet another car passes overhead. Mimas remains oblivious to the danger he is in.

MIMAS
Wow, sure is windy today.

Mimas brings the lens to his face. A terrified look crosses his face, which is distorted by the magnifying lens.

MIMAS
AHH!

We then see POV shot of a giant DRAGONFLY though the spyglass, the camera pulls back to an over the shoulder view as the dragonfly flies up and over Mimas.



23.



We then see a wide field view that trails Mimas in a cowboy shot as he turns to follow the movement of the dragonfly with the spyglass.

the Dragonfly splatters on the side mirror of a pickup truck. Mimas blinks a few times in shock.

slowly turning back to the direction he was facing before the dragon fly was spattered. He sees a car approaching. The brakes squeal as Calvin rushes across the road and pushes Mimas to the ground. Both chipmunks narrowly avoiding the right front tire of the vehicle.

After regaining their breath Calvin and Mimas look at each other.

CALVIN
Don't ever do that again.


MIMAS
Not a problem.

FADE OUT
To be continued...


script is 24 pages when properly formated. 20 when not.

[GabrielsThoughts]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMnYruPM71Y

[GabrielsThoughts]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Rg_ys4Hbc

ok, so I've finished the animation. the sound isn't quite right and I looped the last animation because the original sequence was choppy.

[GabrielsThoughts]

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/SVC3fixed.jpg

I've also been toying with the idea of calling the comic "the (fur) real world" and lark the whole MTV/ VH1 reality television idea.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Sleep waking or sleep walking?

[GabrielsThoughts]

Sleep waking or sleep walking?

thank you, and it has been fixed

[GabrielsThoughts]

I've also modified page three again



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/SVC3wbg.jpg



http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/svc4.jpg


that's right folks, even your furry woodland friends have gone digital.

[GabrielsThoughts]

5-31-08

SANTA VS THE CHIPLETS BOOK II
AN HONEST MISTAKE
by
Gabriel R. Lopez

EXT.SMALL DOGGIE DOOR (random home)
Calvin is guiding Mimas as they approach the door.

CALVIN
Aggie?

MIMAS
Where is he?

CALVIN
He wouldn't dare...


INT.KITCHEN
Calvin pokes his head in through a doggie door at the base of the door to the outside.

CALVIN
(loud whisper)Aggie, you in here?

The camera pulls back as Calvin enters and we see Agador is sitting on the top of a paper towel roll hanging from a cabinet under the sink. As Calvin passes under the roll Agador decides to give Calvin a light scare.   

AGADOR
BOO!

CALVIN
Yipe!

AGADOR
Ha ha.

CALVIN
Shhh!

AGADOR
Oh c'mon, what are you worried about.

CALVIN
You can't just wander into somebody's house.

AGADOR
You worry to much.

CALVIN
I do not, now get down from there.

AGADOR
Give me one good reason too.

CALVIN
It's dangerous, and this place could belong to taxidermists. 

Agador hops off the paper towel roll.

AGADOR
You worry too much. Look, they even set out a bowl of food.

CALVIN
That's because it's a dog dish you goof.

AGADOR
Oh right, like there are any dogs that small.

CUT TO

Upstairs, at the foot of a bed a Chihuahua terrier mix sleeps. He is wearing reindeer ears and has on a bright red harness. Around his neck a collar sporting a bell and an ID tag. Skeezy is no ordinary dog, he's a violent little Napoleonic terror. Skeezy is busily chasing rabbits in dreamland when the sound of breaking glass awakens him. Ready for the hunt. After Skeezy hops off the bed we see a POV shot as he wanders down the hall, climbs down the stairs and approaches the kitchen. We then see a POV shot of Calvin and Agador's current argument in the kitchen.

CALVIN
Oh great, you broke it.

We see evidence of a broken cookie jar on the ground.

AGADOR
how else was I supposed to get to the cookies?

CALVIN
Well for starters it had a lid, and those aren't cookies they're dog biscuits.

CUT TO

Mimas bumps into Skeezy who is arguably twice his size.

MIMAS
Calvin? Oh good, I thought I lost you. 

CALVIN
Uh, Mimas. I'm over here.

Dun. Dun. dun. Insert dramatic chipmunk scene as the camera zooms in as Mimas turns around. Over his shoulder we see a close up of Skeezy growling. Mimas turns around slowly, a POV shot brings Skeezy into focus from a blurred state. The camera them moves to a cowboy shot of Mimas and Skeezy

MIMAS
My, what big teeth you have.

Skeezy barks and gives chase as the chipmunks run around the kitchen like chickens with their heads cut off. Eventually the chase spills out into the living room and the chipmunks take refuge under the sofa. The camera then cuts to a shot of Skeezy trying to dig his way under the sofa. All the chipmunks are out of breath. Agador panics

AGADOR
We're all going to die!

CALVIN
I know you are.

MIMAS
he's pretty small, chances are he could only eat one of us.

CALVIN
So what's your point?

AGADOR
It was Calvin's fault.

CALVIN
It ain't my fault, I look both ways before I cross the street.

MIMAS
Guys. We need to figure out a way to get away from here in one piece. You're bickering isn't helping any.

CALVIN
Right. Weapons check.

The chipmunks survey the area underneath the sofa. Dental floss, a toothbrush, a remote, tube socks, a half eaten bag of chips, a squeaky ball, and a Styrofoam cup are littering the area.

CALVIN
Man, these people are slobs.

MIMAS
Thank God for small favors.

AGADOR
So what's the plan?

Outside the sofa we see Skeezy bark once or twice before attempting  to dig his way under the sofa. We hear a squeaky sound from the squeaky ball and then we see the ball roll out from under the sofa. Distracted, Skeezy grabs the ball and begins to play with it. From the other side of the sofa wee see two tube socks and a Styrofoam cup walking toward the kitchen. The one in the Styrofoam cup separates from the others and bumps into skeezy. The dog notices Mimas peeking out from under the Styrofoam cup, and the chase resumes. Eventually the trio makes it to the doggie door, with Skeezy on their heels.  Fortunately, Mimas narrowly averts death when Skeezy's antlers get caught in the doggie door. The chipmunks then squirrel their way through the chain link fence and they're out of there.

EXT.BUS STOP (afternoon)
It is raining. The fluorescent light of the covered bench reveals Calvin, Mimas, and Agador huddled together. The trio is using a bus schedule to protect themselves from the rain.


MIMAS
Calvin, out of curiosity, do you have any idea where we're going?


CALVIN
Sure do.

MIMAS
Would you like to share.

CALVIN
We're going to see Santa Claus.

AGADOR
Who?

CALVIN
You know Santa, the guy the humans worship every year around Christmas.

MIMAS
And how does this help us?

CALVIN
Well think about it...

MIMAS
I don't follow.

CALVIN
Heavy boots of black, lot's of toys within his sack. Ring any bells?

MIMAS
Not really.


CALVIN
Anyway, Santa is this wealthy billionaire guy who gives away free stuff around the holidays.

MIMAS
I see, and how exactly did you acquire this information?

CALVIN
Unlike you, I can read.

AGADOR
Hey guys! I see the bus.

The bus itself drives past the bus stop without hesitation.

AGADOR
Hey, why didn't it stop?

MIMAS
Probably because their aren't any humans here. Duh.

CALVIN
Jeez, were never getting out of here... hey Aggie, can I see that quarter you found earlier?

AGADOR
No, it's mine.

CALVIN
What you going to do with it?

AGADOR
Buy me some jelly beans.

CALVIN
What if I promise to get you something better than jelly beans?

AGADOR
Really?


CALVIN
Uh huh.

AGADOR
Ok!

CUT TO

INT.CAFÉ
The walls inside the café are the color of caramel. A barista is managing the cash registers at a counter.

BARISTA
Achoo! (sniffle, clears throat) These allergies are killing me.

CALVIN
(O.S.) hey, buddy.

The barista turns his head to look for the voice and sees Calvin approaching the counter.
CALVIN
(whistles) yoo-hoo. Down here.

BARISTA
Why hello there little guy. What are you doing here?

CALVIN
Uh, yes. I would like a double bacon guacamole burger, a chocolate banana smoothie and fries if you got them.

Calvin drops the quarter on the counter.

BARISTA
Uh huh, and how you planning to pay for all that?

Calvin pushes the quarter across the counter toward the barista.

CALVIN
Surely you've heard of my friend. General Washington.


BARISTA
Okay, Dude that's a quarter. That wouldn't buy you three ketchup packets and a french-fry. 

CALVIN
Oh... kay then I'll have two french-fries and a ketchup packet.

CUT TO

EXT.BUS STOP
The rain has stopped. Agador and Mimas are bored. They are sitting under the bench waiting for Calvin to return.

MIMAS
This Santa fellah sounds suspicious. One man, traveling the world, giving away billions of dollars worth of free stuff, and granting peoples wishes... I mean, how does he do it?

AGADOR
I think he runs the Coca-Cola corporation.

MIMAS
Ah. So, he's uses the toys to sell Coke children. I knew there was something fishy about that guy.


INT.CAFÉ (candy machine.)
We watch a series of acrobatics performed by Calvin as he extorts jellybeans from a candy machine and uses a napkin as a makeshift paper sack. He then exit's the store as a patron enters.

EXT.BUS STOP
Calvin rushes to the other chipmunks who are lounging underneath the bench at the bus stop.

CALVIN
Alright guys, dig in.

Calvin unloads the jellybeans.

AGADOR
Hey, you said you'd get something better.

CALVIN
I did.

Calvin continues to speak, but as he does so he takes the napkin and covers his right arm like a matador. He then waves his left hand over the napkin like a magician and pulls off the napkin while extending his right arm level with his shoulder. Three packages of coffee creamer appear on his arm, stacked with two cups at the base as the one on the top threatens to fall over. Mimas appears from behind Calvin and sets the creamers on the ground neatly, chooses one of the creamers, and tears of the lid and starts chugging.

CALVIN
(cont'd)Well, I also managed to get some of those little cups filled with cream, and...

Calvin then shakes the seemingly empty napkin as foil coated chocolates fall out.

CALVIN
I got truffles.

AGADOR
Sweet!

Agador lunges for the chocolate and starts unwrapping the foil packaging.

CALVIN
Hey, Mimas. How much longer till the next bus arrives?

MIMAS
One thousand six hundred and forty-two heartbeats. give or take a thump or two.

CALVIN
Awe jeez, that's like a half hour.

AGADOR
(munching on chocolate) More like Twenty-two minutes and change.

MIMAS
Whatever, I hope this Santa Claus fellah is worth the trouble.

CALVIN
No worries there, we'll be living like kings by sunset.


The rain has started again, the wind is blowing. A rusted Datsun truck passes with an unraveled piece of twine dragging the road from the truck bed. The truck stops at the stoplight a few meters from the chiplets.

MIMAS
Guys, I got an idea. C'mon lets go.

Calvin and Agador follow Mimas. As soon as they reach the truck the turn signal changes green and the truck starts moving Mimas has climbed up the rope into the truck bed and turns around to see Calvin struggling to hold onto Agador who has slipped off of the rope. Mimas doubles back and helps Calvin and Agador into the truck bed as the truck finishes its turn and continues on the highway. The chiplets crawl into a flowerpot to get out of the rain.

MIMAS
Not so bad huh?

CALVIN
We're going in the wrong direction.

MIMAS
Nuh uh.


CALVIN
Yeah huh.

MIMAS
Agador checked. According to the flyer, there's a second Santa at the meadows mall.

CALVIN
Second Santa? That doesn't sound right.

MIMAS
Well I don't think he can be in two places at once. do you?

CALVIN
Whatever. Even if it's one of his elves we can still make out like bandits.

CUT TO

EXT.COSSWALK
The trio are balanced one on top of the other. Mimas is on the bottom, Calvin is in the middle and Agador is on top stretching to  push the button to for the light. Agador then looks down.

AGADOR
Okay, it should work.

CALVIN
It's green.

Agador climbs down, Calvin hops off Mimas and the tree are barely 1/16 of the way across the crosswalk before the light changes.

MIMAS
8 seconds.

CALVIN
Don't worry, I do this all the time. Just keep going and We should be able to make it to the median before...

Just before the trio reaches the median a car inches forward. Calvin stops and

AGADOR
Ahh!

Calvin and Mimas pull Agador onto the median.

 
MIMAS
Ok, we only have to cross four more lanes.

AGADOR
Maybe we should wait until nightfall. There wouldn't be as much traffic then.

CALVIN
And, make it easier for cars to make us go sploot. Are you nuts?

MIMAS
I agree with Calvin.  As long as the cars can see us they're more willing to run themselves off the road to avoid us.

AGADOR
But I don't think the cars can see us.

CALVIN
True, but at least we can see them.

MIMAS
Green blur, green blur.

CALVIN
(looks at Agador) You coming or what?

Agador trembles, holding his tail, uncertain as the Mimas and Calvin continue crossing the street. Calvin looks back once he's halfway across one lane.

CALVIN
We'll give Santa your regards.

Agador looks at Calvin and then turns and looks back the way they came. Making the decision to follow the others Agador rushes after the others and catches up with Calvin in the second lane as they continue across the roadway.

AGADOR
Wait up!

The three companions make it safely across the street, pass through some bushes, rush over a block wall and enter a parking garage.

FADE OUT

INT.PARKING GARAGE

AGADOR
This is a mall?

CALVIN
It's more spacious than I thought.

AGADOR
Man, what a gyp.

MIMAS
Where's Santa... all I see here is a bunch of cars.

Cut to a POV shot. we see the undercarriages of several vehicles as the camera stalks the chiplets Calvin and Mimas have their backs to the camera.

CALVIN
Trying to cover your tracks are we?

MIMAS
What are you talking about?

CALVIN
Oh come on, I knew this whole second Santa thing was a crock.


Agador, uninterested in the argument bends down to stare directly into the POV.

MIMAS
like this is my fault.

CALVIN
I wasn't the one who thought it would be a good idea to spend an hour in the back of a pickup truck.


AGADOR
Uh Guys. I think I see something moving under here.

CALVIN
Let me see.

Calvin intentionally pushes Mimas out of the way to get a better look.

CALVIN
Dude, you're crazy, I don't see 'nothing.

POV camera zooms/ darts toward the chiplets.

CUT TO

CALVIN, MIMAS, and AGADOR
AHHH!

Camera switches toward standard view as a mouse 1/3 the chipmunks' size latches itself onto AGADOR.

AGADOR
Get it off! Get it off!

Mimas falls on his back and rolls around as he attempts to remove the beast. Calvin and Mimas tear the mouse away from Agador

MOUSE
Squeak, squeaky, squeak, squeaker, squeaksta!

MIMAS
Chill little guy. We don't want to hurt you.

MOUSE
Squeak! Sqee, squeak.

Calvin helps Agador to his feet while Mimas restrains their attacker.

AGADOR
God, I hope he's not rabid.

CALVIN
What's he saying.


MIMAS
Sqweaken der squeak?

MOUSE
Nya, squeak squeak.

MIMAS
Ok. His name is squeky, he's a three week old Norwegian brown rat from south central California. He lost his mama and now he's looking for Santa also.

CALVIN
You got all that from three squeaks.

MIMAS
No dummy, I made it up. What makes you think I speak anything but English.

Squeaky breaks free of Mimas grip. gets on all fours and circles the three like cat. 

MOUSE
Nyow, hiss.

AGADOR
I knew it, he's rabid.

CALVIN
don't be silly he's probably warning us there's a cat nearby.

The mouse then gets up, points at Calvin and nods his head yes.

MIMAS
You know for someone who has a brain the size of a pea, he's pretty smart.

AGADOR
Are you talking about Calvin or squeky?

MIMAS
Does it matter?

CALVIN
You're one to talk.


Calvin and Mimas' bickering comes to a halt when squeky points behind them, a horrified look on his face as he Squeaks in a dramatic fashion.


MOUSE
SQUEEEEEEEK!

Cut to the scene of a cat leaping in front of the camera. As the cat sweeps over the camera the camera fades to black, then pause five seconds on a blank screen in silence.

CUT TO

Handheld camera style view of the Calvin, Mimas, Agador, and squeky as they run through the parking lot in a panic.

Mimas runs headlong into a 44oz left in one of the parking spaces, causing a chain reaction whereby he and the cup roll momentarily into the Soda pop before he regains his footing and catches up with the others.

Calvin gets separated from the others and becomes the primary target of the feline aggressor. Calvin rushes under a car, rushes across the parkway toward a rusty Chevrolet with heavy rear impact damage, using the tailpipe, license plate, and the bungee cord keeping the trunk closed to squirrel his way up the back of the vehicle. Calvin rushes across the sheet metal of the trunk toward the rearview window.

The cat is discovered on the roof of the car, Calvin slips on the metal and slides partway of the window glass before twisting the front part of his body and doubling back to the left side of the damaged trunk. He heads for a ding in the trunk that leads to an opening in the trunk/car.

Calvin squeezes through the hole and enters the trunk of the car. Calvin is out of breath and breathes a sigh of relief.

INT. TRUNK
The relief is short lived however as the cat's paw slips through the opening causing Calvin to back into a switch.

The switch was attached to a pipe bomb, and a monitor flips up indicating its time to detonation within the next three minutes. Calvin remains oblivious to this as he squeezes out an opening to the far right of the trunk corner of the trunk.
EXT. CHEVY
we see the cat propped and peeking in through the hole in the front left side of the trunk as Calvin quietly slips out of through the small opening near the fender of the trunk

CUT TO
EXT.DRAIN PARKING GARAGE (some distance away from Calvin)

The others have squirreled their way across the parking garage and are hiding in the parking drain. All of them are breathing heavily and leaning against the inside of the pipe.

A curious, Agador wanders toward the light of the opening

CALVIN
Boo!

Agador is startled.
AGADOR
AHH!

Agador hugs Calvin before he backs away.

AGADOR
How'd you get away from the cat?

CALVIN
(sounding cocky) Naturally I used my ninja skill.(Karate chop) woo-ha! Now lets get out of dodge before something else weird happens.

The chiplets and Ralpie exit the pipe one by one Mimas all four rodents are about to exit the parking lot, Mimas looks back and sees a car explode.

EXT.PARKING GARAGE

We see the chaplets and squeky fall against a patch of grass at an incline. The quartette falls to the ground in an arch one right after the other along with shrapnel and flaming debris.

CALVIN
Holy Shit! That was awesome.

MIMAS
(whining, eyes squinty) I'm blind!

CALVIN
(waving his right arm in front of Mimas) Could you see before?

MIMAS
(sarcastic) Ha ha! Real funny. 

Agador is holding a shivering squeky the way a child might hold a dog.

AGADOR
Quit fighting you're scaring squeky.

CALVIN
We are not keeping that greasy mouse. Heaven knows where that thing has been.

MIMAS
Hey, does anyone else smell burned waffles and bacon.

Calvin and the others look in the direction behind Mimas.

CALVIN
Oh god, It's still alive.

The others run away in a panic leaving Mimas to fend for himself.

MIMAS
I don't get it, What's still alive?

The camera pulls away the cat from the parking lot, it ears drawn back in outrage, a low murr sound emanating from its gnarled form.

MIMAS
(pitiful squeak)...Guys?


A plastic soda lid flies softly and lightly taps the Cat on the head. The cat's ear tweaks and he looks for where it came from.
CUT TO

We see a cowboy shot of Calvin twirling a soda straw like a bo staff. The camera then cuts to a long shot of Calvin bringing the base of the straw to the cat's chin pushing the cat from the parking lot to back off. Calvin looks at Mimas

CALVIN
Grab my tail.

Close-up shot of Mimas.

MIMAS
What's going on?

Calvin brushes his feather duster of a tail against Mimas face.

CALVIN
Shut your yap and grab on.

CAT
HISS! (swat's the straw with it's paw.)

The straw separates into five pieces as it falls apart.

CALVIN
Any minute now.

MIMAS grabs onto Calvin's tail. Calvin with Mimas in tow catches up to Agador and hidden in the bushes.

FADE OUT

To be continued...

[GabrielsThoughts]

SANTA VS. THE CHIPLETS BOOK III
THE THRESHOLD OF HELL
by
Gabriel R. Lopez


EXT. PARKING LOT DEBRIS FIELD
Squeaky and the Chiplets are regaining their composure after their valiant escape from the cat from hell.

 
CALVIN
Ok, that's it. From hear on out we're using the buddy system. Because I can't keep everyone, and myself out of trouble.

AGADOR
What's the buddy system.

CALVIN
Everyone looks out for themselves and someone else. I'll keep track of Mimas. Mimas will keep track of you and you can keep a look out for me.

AGADOR
What about squeaky?

CALVIN
Ugg. Fine, I'll look out for Mimas, you look out for squeaky and squeaky will keep track of...wait. Nevermind, this is too confusing. Just pick someone to look after and keep them out of trouble.

Cut to

EXT. Bus stop near the Meadows mall. Camera zooms under the covered bench and follow the chiplets as they force their way through a chain link fence along the back of the bus stop. It is nearly impossible for anything larger than a squirrel to take a shortcut through the fence to a grassy meadow on the other side of the fence, to reach the parking lot. The Chiplets, and Squeaky force their way through the fence onto a small creek. The group walks along the edge of the creek and crosses a stone path to a grass park.

MIMAS
I don't get it, what's so special about this guy. I mean, sure he's a bajilionare, but so is the president. Why can't we just ask the president for food, money, and a place to stay?

CALVIN
Because, Santa is keeping it real. He hasn't been corrupted by the greed driven economy of corporate America. And, he's a socialist. That's just one step away from being a communist.

MIMAS
No, he's a capitalist. He runs the coca-cola corporation, and uses the toys and consumer fantasy to sell drugs to little kids. And, for the last time, you are not a communist.

CALVIN
Prove it. 

AGADOR
I'm gonna' ask Santa for gummy bears...and jellybeans, and a mansion, and a momma.

MIMAS
Oh great, now you got him doing it.

AGADOR
Look, a road!

MIMAS
(sarcasm) Wonderful, more cars.



CALVIN
No need to worry, the cars have to stop at that white line up there. Then we can follow the double yellow line. It has to lead somewhere.

MIMAS
(sarcasm, mocking Calvin) I Know why don't we just cross through the parking lot. They always lead somewhere with food, and then we'll just-.


AGADOR
Guys! I think I spotted the mall! 

Calvin turns his attention back to Agador.

CALVIN
Where, I can't see it.

AGADOR
See, it's over there. You can't tell because it looks like a movie theater.

CALVIN
boy, humans have no imagination. Say Squeaky, what's that like.

MOUSE
Squeak?

MIMAS
Hey, leave the critter alone. It's not his fault he's stupid.

CALVIN
Awe, that's so cute. You two have something in common.

MIMAS
Die Pinko!

Mimas lunges at Calvin and the two of them brawl.

AGADOR
Now squeaky, I want you to see how a positive thought is a thousand times more powerful than stinkin' thinking.

MOUSE
Squeak?

Agador starts singing Yellowcard's believe acapella.

AGADOR
"Think about the love inside the strength of heart, think about the hero saving light in the dark," think about the jelly beans, and cute bunnies, and God is love.

Remember all the joy inside and...and ooh lah lah

The fight between Calvin and Mimas spills over and Calvin pushes Agador to the ground. Agador starts crying.

AGADOR
Waaaaaaaah! I'm telling Santa.

MOUSE
Chu?

AGADOR
C'mon squeaky, we're going to meet Santa all by our selves.

Squeaky looks back at the brawling chiplets. After five seconds of continued brawling they break apart and stop brawling. After this exchange keep Calvin's head  at a ¾ view facing the camera to hide a small bald spot to be revealed later.

MIMAS
Wait. Calvin stop.

Calvin socks Mimas in the jaw, and chips his tooth.



MIMAS
I said stop Mussolini. You broke my tooth.

CALVIN
Oh quit whining, it I'll grow back.

MIMAS
Where's Aggie?

Tires squealing, a horn honking and an automobile accident can be heard in the distance.

CALVIN
Oh my god!

MIMAS
No way!

FADE OUT

EXT. PARKING LOT
The boys are looking over the wreckage which mostly consists of broken glass and a side view mirror  in search of Agador. Calvin picks up a small cats eye mirror that rolls past. Calvin hugs the mirror to himself. Calvin is being overdramatic.

CALVIN
(sob) I'm so sorry.

MIMAS
(places hand on Calvin's shoulder)wow, karma's bitch.

AGADOR
(o.s.)What cha' guys looking at?

The camera pulls back to reveal a minor accident, no injuries or casualties as a truck is firmly planted into a parked Kia Sephia. Calvin brings his hand up to cover a part of his head facing away from the camera.

CALVIN
M-my hair.


MIMAS
Don't worry it'll grow back.

Calvin pulls his hand away to reveal the bald spot

CALVIN
Shut up dude!


Calvin is still holding the cats eye mirror which makes the bald spot appear larger than it really is.

AGADOR
Woah dude, you need a hat.

MIMAS
I dunno' I think it kinda' looks like Jesus.

CALVIN
I thought you were blind.

AGADOR
(cheering) It's a Christmas miracle.

MOUSE
Chu?

DRIVER/CAVEMAN
(on cell phone)...look, I don't have time to wait around for the police. I'm already running late for the flight as it is. Just get someone out here to pick me up, I'm going to leave my contact information and- Jesus Christ!


PHONE
Caveman?

DRIVER/CAVEMAN
You're never going to believe this, the chipmunk that ran in front of my car... has scar in the shape of Jesus Christ.

CALVIN
Um... I think we better get out of here.

PHONE
This isn't like the time you heard chipmunks talking to you the burger hut again is it?

DRIVER/CAVEMAN
No...Dude, this is completely different, I swear.

PHONE
And where is the chipmunk now?

DRIVER/CAVEMAN
Oh, he and the others are heading toward the mall.

PHONE
Others?

DRIVER/CAVEMAN
Yeah, there's four of them this time... I think one of them is a mouse.

PHONE
Riiiight.

FADE OUT

EXT.GLASS DOORS MEADOWS MALL(outside the food court)
The camera is at an extreme low angle giving a Citizen Kane look for the doors and a cowboy shot view of the four rodents of the apocalypse. Calvin is looking up at the doors cocking his head to the right.

MIMAS
This is impossible.

MOUSE
(nodding in agreement)Chu.

CALVIN
You're just a cynic. There's always a way in.

AGADOR
Look, a button!

The camera follows Aggie and the others as they move toward the handicap button along the threshold.

CALVIN
See.

MIMAS
It's to high, we'll never reach it.

CALVIN
Then it's a good thing I'm in charge, Mr. Adolph Quitler.

MIMAS
(fake Russian/boris accent)then tell me oh fearless leader, how we are to be getting in.

CALVIN
Same as always...

CUT TO

Close front shot of Mimas holding up a pair of feet on his shoulders. The back of Agador's tail is dangling next to his head.

MIMAS
I'm telling you this isn't going to work.

Mimas "oofs" as Agador's tail brushes past his face. This is followed by a light sneeze the camera pulls back or cuts to reveal a side view three rodent tower with the mouse on top. We see Calvin watching from the sidelines hunched over like a squirrel as Mimas and the others regain their balance.

CALVIN
With that kind of attitude you'll never be in charge.


Calvin pops his neck and back before stretching his legs. Calvin then spits in his hands before wiping them on his belly.

CALVIN
(cont'd)ready or not here I come.

Calvin then runs toward the rodent tower, with a running hop he uses Agador as a spring board, twists around and hops on the wall. The tower has already started to  collapse when Calvin rebounds from the wall bounces off of the mouse, before twisting around and head butting the button for the door. The tower of rodents and Calvin collapse to the ground in a heap. The camera cuts to a shot of all the team laying on the pavement. (a second angle from a birds eye view)

MIMAS
(exhausted) Hey Calvin.

CALVIN
(in pain) what?

MIMAS
(still exhausted)The door's open.

CALVIN
(still in pain) just drag me in.

INT.FOOD COURT
On the outskirts of the food court by the door the team, peaking from behind a wall, observe that the food court is packed.


AGADOR
I don't see Santa.

MIMAS
Yeah. nothing but people, and they're all hungry.

CALVIN
Well, I'm sure he's not eating anything, he has to save room for all the milk and cookies.


AGADOR
Then how are we going to find him?

CALVIN
We're going to search every corner of the mall until we find him, and if that don't work we're going to climb to the roof and wait for him in his sleigh.

MIMAS
But, if his sleigh is on the roof why bother looking for him at all?

AGADOR
Because reindeer are mean. don't you remember the story of Rudolph?

CALVIN
Shake your booty everybody it's time to move.

The four rodents squirrel their way through the eating area of the food court, causing diners to scream, jump up, spill drinks, and at least one person to drop his tray as he falls to the ground. 

A/N: This scene will take some effort to get the right reaction from the actors and extras, so I recommended that random chairs in the food court be rigged to goose the extra's or actors so they are genuinely surprised.

INT.MEADOWS MALL (second floor balcony)
The chiplets are sitting balanced on the banister that borders the overlook of the first floor. Calvin points to an area off camera.

CALVIN
There he is! It's Santa.

AGADOR
Hey Santa! Santa! Over here!

Mimas tugs on Aggie's ear.

AGADOR
Ow!

MIMAS
There's a line stupid.

CALVIN
Hey. I thought we agreed, no more name calling.

MIMAS
No, the arrangement was to stop making fun of your stupid hair. By the way the comb over looks fabulous.


CALVIN
Shut up... where's the mouse?


MIMAS
Lost him in the food court somewhere.

CALVIN
Feh, Didn't like him anyway.

AGADOR
You don't think he's lost do you?

CALVIN
Bubba please, He's not smart enough to get lost.

MOUSE
Chu!

Between two and three feet Bellow Calvin and the others position on the second floor, squeaky looks up at Calvin and the others.


AGADOR
(glee)Squeaky! You found us! Good boy.


Agador hops off the balcony and gives squeaky a hug. On the balcony Calvin nudges Mimas in the ribs.

CALVIN
I think I figured out a way to get past the guards.

MIMAS
Gaurds?... (do) you mean the vulcans?

CALVIN
Yeah.

MIMAS
Will you be taking advantage of your size to go completely unnoticed?

CALVIN
No, I'll use sweet talk.

MIMAS
Sweet talk?

CALVIN
Yeah, I saw a guy do it at a bar once.

MIMAS
I know what sweet talk is Calvin. And I'm pretty sure it's to illogical to work on Vulcans.

CALVIN
You don't know that... watch.

Calvin runs squirrel style along the banister off camera.

CUT TO

Calvin runs into the frame of the camera, on the other side of the overlook. Once in center frame Calvin stops and turns his head and looks over his shoulder across the overlook. In the background, slightly out of focus we can see Mimas on the other banister giving Calvin a thumbs up. Calvin positions himself facing the camera. After a moment of hesitation he jumps. The camera follows him as he lands on a stanchion squirrels across a velvet rope past a row of children playing an assorted variety of handheld gaming systems completely unnoticed. Positioning himself on a stanchion next to a mildly uninterested and completely bored teenage girl dressed as an elf.

CALVIN
Hello there sassy girl.

The elf girl, ignores Calvin entirely, unconcerned she doesn't eve blink. The elf girl tries to pick something from her teeth using her fingernail.

CALVIN
*clears throat* (speaking louder) I said, hello there sassy girl.

This time Calvin does get the elf's attention.

ELF
EEEEK! RAT!

In an effort to back away the elf trips over a power cord and falls into the Christmas tree which topples over causing all sorts of chaos. The camera then focuses back on Calvin who winces, falls off the stanchion as he backs away and lands on his butt. Looking up with a cutest I'm sorry expression he could muster.

CALVIN
Oops.

A glass balls whizzes past Calvin and shatters.

CALVIN
(cont'd)Chill baby girl, it's all good.

Calvin makes a wha-oh sound as another ball heads his way. Calvin avoids three more glass balls and avoids shattered glass as he runs toward the overlook and braces himself and slides before doubling back and hiding behind the side of the overlook with Mimas and the others. Breathing heavily he turns to look at Mimas.

MIMAS
Way to go Romeo.

CALVIN
(out of breath) shut up.(gasp)

FADE OUT

Against a black background we see an extreme close up of a red Gummi bear. Extreme only because the Gummi bear  Bouncing merrily across the screen is seen from the shoulders up. Heading left until it comes across a green Gummi bear. Both Gummi bears are being manipulated like puppets.

RED
Hiya Buffy!

GREEN
Hey Kent!

RED
Wanna' go for a ride?

GREEN
Ok!

INT.TOY STORE
The camera pulls back to reveal Squeaky and Agador playing with the gummi-bears as he starts humming several bars of Barbie girl. They are sitting beside several open boxes of toys. Calvin and Mimas are arguing as the camera is combing over a varied selection of open doll boxes. Cal and Mimas are standing on a pile of half naked dolls and action figures. Calvin is wearing scale amber sunglasses, and has a bandanna around his head to cover Jesus.

CALVIN
Ok, so we're going to need a disguise... Agador, quit playing with those gummi bears, and help me pick out something.

MIMAS
So we're stealing now?

CALVIN
It's not stealing... we just need disguises to get past the elves. Once Santa gives us the mansion, the lifetime supply of chocolate, and the $65 million dollars. We'll come back and pay what we owe. Besides you weren't complaining when we pulled this stuff off the shelves.

MIMAS
This is a bad idea Calvin.

CALVIN
You keep saying that, but you can't tell me what I'm doing wrong.

MIMAS
You're stealing!

CALVIN
No...I'm borrowing from the wellspring of the universe. And, the universe is telling me you need to lighten up.(takes of the shades, flips them around and puts them on Mimas.)

As he's talking Calvin grabs a red vest from the pile and puts it on, pulling the collar up dramatically. After quickly tossing an anarchist shirt to Agador Calvin picks up a hat. After trying the hat on he decides he doesn't like it and places it on Mimas's head. First pulling it over his head, then cocking it to the side.

CUT TO

INT.MALL SANTA'S LITTLE CORNER
The damage from earlier has been repaired and Santa is sitting comfortably on the candy cane colored throne like a king. Santa is wearing a big red suit and heavy boots of black. There is nothing remarkable about Santa's outfit. In fact, what sets this Santa apart from all others is that he is wearing a mad hatter top hat with a bird's skull next to the buckle of the hat band. The elf from earlier is escorting a young girl with brown hair tied into streamers on either side of her head.

ELF
Hey Santa. This is Megan.

SANTA
Ho ho ho! Why hello there. Why don't you get up on Santa's lap and tell me what you want for Christmas.

Megan gets settled on Santa's lap.

MEGAN
Can I ask you a question?

SANTA
Of course, you can ask me anything you want.

MEGAN
Do you have an asshole?

SANTA
(looks shocked.)eh he. Wh-

MEGAN
(talking really fast.) I really wanna' know, [be)cause Billy Whitmore said you didn't have an asshole, and I said that's impossible because everyone has an asshole, even Jesus, and then he said I was going to burn in hell cause I said Jesus had an asshole, and...

SANTA
Whoa. Slow down there little lady... now, I'm afraid that I can't answer your question. But, it sounds like this Billy Whitmore kid is on the naughty list. Now, Is there anything special you would like for Christmas?

MEGAN
I don't know, a hula hoop maybe.

CUT TO

INT.MALL ESCALTOR (near Santa's little corner.)
CALVIN and the others are dressed in assorted doll outfits and hiding behind the banister of the escalator. the camera shows Calvin peaking around the corner Calvin confirms that Santa is sitting on his candy cane throne. We hear the roar of shoppers and Megan in the background repeatedly using the word asshole

CALVIN
Ok, so you all know the plan.

MIMAS
This is stupid. We'd have better luck disguising ourselves as tube socks and kidnapping Santa at gunpoint.

CALVIN
Oh shut up...(looks over shoulder and turns around) oh my god! Where'd he go?

AGADOR
(climbs up to the banister and sees Santa.)There he is! Santa's going to the room with the smelly water fountains.

Calvin climbs up and pushes Agador out of the way. Agador almost falls off the banister.

CALVIN
The Bathroom? (looks back to Mimas and squeaky) C'mon Let's go!

MIMAS
Yeah. I'd rather stay here, I've been blinded enough for one day.

CALVIN
Move out!

Calvin runs along the banister squeak follows along the ground. Calvin, in a mad rush to get to santa ignores Agador. Unfortunately, Agador slips off the banister and falls into the penny fountain bellow. Mimas hops onto the railing and looks to see if Aggie is alright. We see aggie surface and caugh up some water.


MIMAS
you okay?

AGADOR
(looks up)yeah, jump in the water's fine.

Aggie gets hit on the head with a penny.

AGADOR
(cont'd) ouch(rubs sore) never mind.

Agador swims to the edge we see a second splash. Mimas surfaces and spits out some water and squirts it out through the chip in his teeth as Aggie shakes the water out of his fur. Mimas swims to the edge climbs out and shakes off fur.

MIMAS
I'm hungry... wanna' grab a bite to eat?

AGADOR
But, we don't have any money.

Mimas turns Agador's head to the penny fountain. We see The bottom of the fountain is covered in an assortment of shiny coins. Mostly pennies. quarters, dimes, nickels, and  a few random Mexican and Canadian coins sprinkled through out for authenticity. 

AGADOR
(cont'd)It's so pretty.

Another coin is thrown into the fountain.

MIMAS
Wow, I didn't know people just throw their money away at the mall.

AGADOR
We're going to buy so many jelly beans!

CUT TO

INT.UPSTAIRS BATHROOM
Calvin and Squeaky have entered the bathroom. Calvin pulls the shirt over his nose.


CALVIN
Chewie! This place smells awful.

Squeaky agrees, but lacks the gift of speech. Calvin tries to jump up to the sink and fails because it's too high for him to reach.

CALVIN
(cont'd)Santa?... Santa you in here?

The door of a bathroom stall opens to reveal Santa... his belly fat is bursting from the suit and it appears Santa has gained twenty pounds. Santa appears drunk, belches and scratches himself inappropriately. Falling to the floor drunk as he exit's the stall and lands on his butt.

SANTA B
Hullo floor.

CALVIN
(Exited)Santa!

SANTA B
(unintelligible) Roit you're.

CALVIN
Huh?

SANTA B cocks his head to the side and looks at Calvin

SANTA B
Well Aoin't you a cute lil' nipper.

CALVIN
(confused) Nip per?



SANTA B
Well come 'ere and tell Santa what you want.

Santa slaps his thigh, and gestures for Calvin to get closer.

CALVIN
I think I'd rather not.

SANTA B
Suit you self.

CALVIN
Is it true it true I can ask you for anything? Anything in the whole wide world?

SANTA B
Well, Santa's magic is spread a bit thin at the moment. But, anything is possible to he who believes.

CALVIN
Okay, well first I want a lifetime supply of chocolate.

SANTA B
No you don't.

CALVIN
Next I want a huge mansion with hot tubs, and a refrigerator, and um, and uh, a safe with $65 million dollars!

Santa puls out a flask and takes a swig. After closing one eye an inspecting the interior of the flask he then tilts the flask to reveal it's totally empty.

SANTA B
A mansion? Really? That's a lot of work. Santa'll give you five dollars now if you bring him half a carafe of rum. 


CALVIN
HaffaCroffo what now?

SANTA B
I want a half a carafe of rum, you know Bacardi, sweet ambrosia of the gods.

CALVIN
Is there anything you can just give me now?

Santa reaches into his pocket and produces a candy cane. He then hands it to Calvin.

SANTA B
Now r'mber don't eat it all at once.

Santa pats Calvin on the head. Calvin looks disappointed.

CALVIN
Wow Santa, that's kinda' cheap.

CUT TO

EXT.MALL PENNY FOUNTAIN
Both Mimas and Agador are dripping we and each is carrying about two dollars in quarters. As they are walking agador slips and the as he falls forward the stack of quarters slide out in a line as a dealer would slide a deck of cards. Mimas stops as Agador recollects the quarters and both approach a candy shop where an angry man is holding a picket sign that says "don't feed the fat people" Agador looks up to read the sign.

AGADOR
Donut feed the fat people... hey! I know you, you're Santa.

Santa looks down to see Mimas and Agador. The two chipmunks holding quarters are dismissed as a woman and her son walk out of the candy shop.

SANTA
Hey, fatty. How does it feel to support communist China?

The woman smacks Santa.

SANTA
Bitch!

AGADOR
Gasp, that's mean!

Santa looks down at the two chipmunks

SANTA
What you looking at?

MIMAS
Weren't you just upstairs?

SANTA
Hey what I do on my off time is my own business.

People enter the candy shop.

SANTA
(con't)hey fatty! Too much sugar will turn you into a booger.

Agador looks at Mimas.

AGADOR
Is that true?

MIMAS
I don't know.

More people exit the candy shop.

SANTA
That's a cute be-beh, mmmmm.

Santa rubs his tummy. Agador starts crying.

AGADOR
(panic) I don't want to turn into a booger.

Mimas puts down his stack of quarters.


MIMAS
C'mon let's go find Calvin.

AGADOR
But what about the jelly beans?

MIMAS
We'll get them later, now come on...

Agador puts down his stack of quarters and chases after Mimas... but then he doubles back and stuffs four of the quarters in his mini dollie backpack befor running off camera.

CUT TO

INT.MALL STAIRCASE
Mimas is waiting for Agador, once Agador reaches the staircase, both chipmunks run up the stairs.

FADE OUT

To be continued...