Chipmunks...

[Alondro]

Well, it's coming out this week.  The "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie. 

The movie summary on Yahoo is one sentence long... which pretty much says how complex the plot is: "Three chipmunk brothers, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are adopted by a man named Dave. "

Yep, that's it.  That's the entire summary.  I expect another "Garfield" and "Underdog" fiasco.

Maybe they'll get eaten by a fox or a hawk or something.  Then at least we can be sure there won't be sequels. 

[bill]

it will be a dark tale involving rape


probably

[Dannysaysnoo]

i hope that i can tell the difference between them, or it'll be hell on earth!

[Alondro]

it will be a dark tale involving rape


probably

And so it was that too many lurkers took Bill's comments as truth, and thusly were the theaters packed with furverts seeking chipmunk rape...  

[bill]

totally my bad 

[Dannysaysnoo]

Bill, you've ruined modern cinema. I hope you're happy.

[superluser]

Bill, you've ruined modern cinema. I hope you're happy.

Unfortunately, not even this can cheer Bill up.

[Angel]

Bill, you've ruined modern cinema. I hope you're happy.

There was something left to ruin?

[Netrogo]

it will be a dark tale involving rape


probably

Well it already has mild Scheizer Porn in it so rape wouldn't be much worse.

[Alondro]

it will be a dark tale involving rape


probably

Well it already has mild Scheizer Porn in it so rape wouldn't be much worse.

It's a tale about a grown man living alone who takes in 3 innocent young chipmunks... you do the math!   

It quicklt turns into a "Law & Order: SVU" episode.   

[Feroluce]

haha.... I have this mental image in my head now of the chipmunks in a rape porn movie... their lil high pitch voices talking all dirty and abusive...  

[Dannysaysnoo]

haha.... I have this mental image in my head now of the chipmunks in a rape porn movie... their lil high pitch voices talking all dirty and abusive... 

How can you find that Funny? thats just twisted!

[Netrogo]

haha.... I have this mental image in my head now of the chipmunks in a rape porn movie... their lil high pitch voices talking all dirty and abusive... 

How can you find that Funny? thats just twisted!

I'll reitterate my earlier statement. The fact that the movie ACTUALLY contains Scheizer Porn is twisted. Everything else is just funny by comparisson.

[Feroluce]

haha.... I have this mental image in my head now of the chipmunks in a rape porn movie... their lil high pitch voices talking all dirty and abusive... 

How can you find that Funny? thats just twisted!

XD thinking of a high-pitched, fast-talking chipmunk saying "c'mon, b*tch, suck it!"...

meh. I guess Im just twisted, but I find that thought hilarious.

[bill]

it will be a dark tale involving rape


probably

Well it already has mild Scheizer Porn in it so rape wouldn't be much worse.

It's a tale about a grown man living alone who takes in 3 innocent young chipmunks... you do the math!   

It quicklt turns into a "Law & Order: SVU" episode.   

the best thing about SVU is how fat that guy got in the offseason

seriously, how did he do that?

[Brunhidden]

we have had several of these, we should just have a semi-permanent 'movies that are an abomination unto at least twelve different gods' thread

underdog and chipmunks both seem to have been made by people who have NEVER seen the original, and only heard about it from someone who saw it once back in the 80s when he was stoned.


its epic fail, and it hurts to even look

[Kenji]

I really wish they didn't go with the "size of real chipmunk" thing.
Does Hollywood hate anthros? Seriously? Underdog is NOWHERE near as cool when he isn't a shoe shine boy! Superheros do not make good pets to annoying little boys!

As for the Chipmunks, they aren't as cool when they can't be annoying on a person sized scale. Somehow a 3 inch chipmunk riding a bike, doing lab experiments, or eating a whole hoagie just doesn't seem right. Not to mention being singers...

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

totally my bad 

Oh, well. At least they're all in one place, and we need less C4 to clear them up...

[Alondro]

I really wish they didn't go with the "size of real chipmunk" thing.
Does Hollywood hate anthros? Seriously? Underdog is NOWHERE near as cool when he isn't a shoe shine boy! Superheros do not make good pets to annoying little boys!

Yes.  Hollywood MUST hate anthros, because political correctness won't let them go after anything else, except Christians, but they're too afraid to go after them too much after seeing how much money Christian-themed movies have brought in.

That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.  Hollywood hates furries!  Now I can sue them for attacking my 'lifestyle choice'!  Soon I shall be very rich... 

[Brunhidden]

actually hollywood likes furries, so many movies have badly done furries and they know its a good way to sell to kids.... however there are no furries IN hollywood so they don't have a clue how to make them good, closest they can get is a talking animal with 'tude', a catchphrase, and a whole shelf of merchandise

[Netrogo]

I really wish they didn't go with the "size of real chipmunk" thing.
Does Hollywood hate anthros? Seriously? Underdog is NOWHERE near as cool when he isn't a shoe shine boy! Superheros do not make good pets to annoying little boys!

Not to mention that movie steals the whole point of his name. He's called Underdog because his, cartoon, costume was a pair of long red underwear.

[Fuyudenki]

haha.... I have this mental image in my head now of the chipmunks in a rape porn movie... their lil high pitch voices talking all dirty and abusive... 

How can you find that Funny? thats just twisted!

It's just twisted.  How can you not find that funny?

[Kenji]

I really wish they didn't go with the "size of real chipmunk" thing.
Does Hollywood hate anthros? Seriously? Underdog is NOWHERE near as cool when he isn't a shoe shine boy! Superheros do not make good pets to annoying little boys!

Not to mention that movie steals the whole point of his name. He's called Underdog because his, cartoon, costume was a pair of long red underwear.

I don't care so much about the costume as I do having his real name be Shoe Shine Boy! DX

[Helena]

I hated the previews...and i will not ever see the movie. They ruin a lot of things now adays when it comes to movies

[Magic]

This is your childhood.
This is Hollywood.
This is Hollywood raping your childhood.

Alternate:
This is your childhood.
This is the internet.
This is the internet raping your childhood.

[Janus Whitefurr]

This is your childhood.
This is Hollywood.
This is Hollywood raping your childhood.

Alternate:
This is your childhood.
This is the internet.
This is the internet raping your childhood.

Can we get the unspoken third option?

This is the internet raping Hollywood.

[bill]

this is the internet raping you

[Goatmon]

How can you find that Funny? thats just twisted!

Does not compute.

[bill]

haha.... I have this mental image in my head now of the chipmunks in a rape porn movie... their lil high pitch voices talking all dirty and abusive... 

How can you find that Funny? thats just twisted!

it is awesome

[Alondro]

Well, the results are in.

The critics pretty much overall despised it.

But people audiences were defending it with the old excuse "It's great for little kids!"  That was the same excuse used for the horrific Disney abomination "Chicken Little".

And it was #2 in theaters with a shocking $45 million opening weekend.

I can't say it surprises me.  Number one is "I Am Legend", yet another mutant-virus-kills-almost-everyone.  It's an "Omega Man" remake mixed with a bit of "28 Days Later".  I don't care how well written or acted it is, the fact remains that it's utterly unorgininal, and uses a plot that's so cliche as to become comical in the past decade, ie "Shawn of the Dead".

Maybe it's enough to warrent a #1 spot during a period where there really aren't any other good movies.  But $76 million?  People really must have nothing to do.