12/05/07 [DMFA #850] - Fear the Reaper

[Alondro]

"Then through the air, rang an angelic chorus.
Down from the Heavens, descended Chuck Norris,
Who delivered a kick that could shatter bone,
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones.."

Phear the power!  Because of Chuck Norris alone, Mike Huckabee will become President!  

Chuck 'hearts Huckabee

And eventually Chuck will reveal he's a Cosmic Cube and well-nigh unstoppable.  

[Dannysaysnoo]

Stop quoting the Ultimate Showdown, you evil Microbiologist! Chemistry for the win!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.

[chaotik]

Bruce Lee is dead now.....to his credit, it took Chuck's roundhouse kick some time to take full effect....they're that powerful.

Mr. T and Chuck Norris once got in a fight..

Bruce Lee won..

There, can we be done with the Chuck Norris stuff now? :p

[chaotik]

#  When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

# Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

[Turnsky]

*sucky chuck norris gags*

you do realise that there's an entirely new circle of hell for people like you.

and i get the feeling that there's a waiting list of people wanting to send people such as yourself there. 

[Dannysaysnoo]

I read through a bunch of them and quote them in real life when i want to make people laugh at me.

[Falcarthum]

Changing the subject... did you notice that Mike have a nose and five fingers? He can`t be the real bro of Amber! Unless he had gotten a cosmetic surgery... 

[Fuyudenki]

honestly, I thought the crowbars looked like shotguns.

Also, I loved Fluffy's reaction.

[Dannysaysnoo]

What one? Roger Dodger or the validity of google?

[chaotik]

The Fraggle virus is not yet perfected. his time will come.

Changing the subject... did you notice that Mike have a nose and five fingers? He can`t be the real bro of Amber! Unless he had gotten a cosmetic surgery... 

[chaotik]

Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Roundhouse kick of Chuck, i shall fear no Ebil.........for Mr. T is with me.

*sucky chuck norris gags*

you do realise that there's an entirely new circle of hell for people like you.

and i get the feeling that there's a waiting list of people wanting to send people such as yourself there. 

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

... Please don't double-post. The edit button is there for a reason.

Also, your post with the "jokes" has a typo in it. You might want to fix that.

[Madmann135]

I remember reading a Chuck Norris joke about him being able to stop a bullet just with a look.

I wonder what they would say about Chuck Norris VS magic and Chuck Norris VS a plasma bolt?

I found it funny that Fluffy was attacking other people than Amber...

[BlueTiger]

"I'll use Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route."

"I prefer Map Quest."

"That's a good one too, but Google Maps the best."

"True that."

"Double True!"

EDIT: On the Chuck Norris note, check this out:

Chuck Norris

[Kuari]

Bruce Lee is dead now.....to his credit, it took Chuck's roundhouse kick some time to take full effect....they're that powerful.

Wait...  scratch that...  misread the wiki article date..


Anyways...  wonder why Fluffy chose a crowbar rather then something else...  like a sniper rifle or cattle prod.

[terrycloth]

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, he has never cried.

SSL is immune to man in the middle attacks, unless that man is Chuck Norris.

[Dannysaysnoo]

Chuck Norris can get hit by the Bull Rush.

[Kenji]

Paul Bunyan could kick Chuck Norris's ass.

[bill]

Bob Barker wins any fight ever.

[Dannysaysnoo]

THIS IS A WHEEL.

Bruce Forsyth will go Medieval on all yo' asses.

[Falcarthum]

The Fraggle virus is not yet perfected. his time will come.

Changing the subject... did you notice that Mike have a nose and five fingers? He can`t be the real bro of Amber! Unless he had gotten a cosmetic surgery... 

Curse you, Umbrella...! curse you and your zany experiments...!

Another Chuck Norris Fact:

Red Bull is Chuck Norris' canned sweat...

[Kenji]

Bob Barker wins any fight ever.

Only if animal genitalia is concerned.

[Saist]

* je.saist makes a suggestion that all those who made Chuck Norris jokes shall henceforth have their title manually changed to "Aridas Wannabee"

[Kuari]

You know....  thinking about it, if someone said Chuck Norris had the secret to eternal youth, I'd probably almost believe them...  he's fricken 67 and he looks like he's in his early 30s

[Dannysaysnoo]

He does do the aging thing quite well, probably from all the wood he eats.

[bill]

The next person to post a Norris joke itt will be banned.

[Darkmoon]

Changing the subject... did you notice that Mike have a nose and five fingers? He can`t be the real bro of Amber! Unless he had gotten a cosmetic surgery... 

It was a childhood accident. I swear. I accidentally bit off her nose and a finger from each of her hands.

I didn't do it on purpose out of jealousy for her artistic skill. Really.

[Dannysaysnoo]

I didn't do it on purpose out of jealousy for her artistic skill. Really.

no, you were jealous of her pinky rings and her nose-ring.

[Darkmoon]

They were made of tasty silver. Mmmm, silver.