Eowyn bakes, prunes, exotic dances

[Brunhidden]

many of you have met Eowyn, some of you may have even chatted with her on MIRC, but none of you know all of what she does on a day to day basis. i cant start a thread every time she does something unusual, and by starting this thread she has an opportunity to come to the forum more often.

Don't worry, she does not do 'normal' kid stuff, most of this will be worth putting up.

In addition, this thread will not be all about her either, much of it will just be father stuff or the horror of other peoples kids....

speaking of which i place my first entry- About a week ago the wife and i stopped by a dairy queen so that Eowyn could play in the ball pit and the wife could get her ice cream fix. Upon reaching the play area a small boy somewhere between age four and six grabbed my wrist and said "ah ghawt yhooo". i was kind of surprised, and thought to gently force him to let go by lifting my arm till he fell off... didn't work, i had my arm at a full right angle and he kept hold, struggling desperately to do a pull up but failed. after about a minute of this the mother finally notices and says something along the lines of "have you considered that man may not appreciate you doing that to his arm". not the best scolding ive heard, but after a little while he dropped, refused to say he was sorry, and the mother handed over a pair of coupons for free ice cream that were going to be his but he had been "behaving poorly this entire day".

hey, free ice cream, but the biggest issue i had was i was extremely tempted to say "you are lucky im pretty strong, this kid weighs a ton"

Joseph Stalin -
- Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

[Kenji]

Well... I suppose weighing a ton would just be another reason to hand over the ice cream coupons. Wouldn't you say?

[Zedd]

Kids these days..I swear I fear the deep side of the ball pit

[lucas marcone]

i wouldn't let your youngun' in those ball pits if i were you. nasty stuffs have been found in there rangeing from puke to haroin filled hypodermic needles. i'd ask how often the ball pits are cleaned out first.

[RJ]

I'd suggest Eowyn get her own LJ, but I don't think she'd pass the emo test.

[lucas marcone]

myspace seems less emo. then again they have some pretty skeezy people.

[RJ]

I refuse to get a MySpace or a Facebook. Even if I can stick pretty photos on it, I don't see the point other than attracting attention from my employer.

[Alondro]

Do not EVER let a young kid on Myspace!  Especially not a girl!  That place is used regularly by law enforcement to trap pedophiles, and you know why?  BECAUSE THERE'S A TON OF EM ON THERE!!!  Of course, if you wish to trick a number of them, lure them to an abandoned factory and slaughter them all with wanton glee, then please be my guest!    

Have her read PubMed instead.  The whole thing, every article of biomedicine ever published.  That'll keep her occupied for the next 500 or so odd years.    
Who needs friends when you have thousands of articles on squamous cell carcinoma cytogenetics!  Wheeeeee!   

[Brunhidden]

Most of this will have to wait till she can read- at the moment she can see pictures and react, or i tell her what people say and she reacts. this leaves mostly just comics and forums for now.

by telling her about this she now wants to go to a pub, myspace and LJ do not interest her.


of note, and irritation, is that today and yesterday she broke a really good habbit of hers. she had almost potty trained herself and quit. while on vacation for a week every time she went poop she did it sitting on the toilet, and two or three times she peed there too, the two days after we got home she did not have a single wet diaper. she was proud, loved wearing underwear, and developed the cute yet inappropriate habit of pulling at peoples pants to check if they too wore underwear. the last two days she has refused to go on the potty, and for the life of me i cannot understand why... this is the 'terrible twos', the time where they have advanced thoughts but become severely frustrated not being able to communicate them. whats doubly irritating is she already could communicate 'potty', 'eeeww', 'stinky', and 'mommy go?"

its time to be a little cruel, if she wets herself its NOT getting changed until she gets a bit uncomfortable.

You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.

[Zedd]

Eowyns real life cuteness...

[Fuyudenki]

Do not EVER let a young kid on Myspace!  Especially not a girl!  That place is used regularly by law enforcement to trap pedophiles, and you know why?  BECAUSE THERE'S A TON OF EM ON THERE!!!  Of course, if you wish to trick a number of them, lure them to an abandoned factory and slaughter them all with wanton glee, then please be my guest!    

Alondro, have I ever told you that you amuse me?

[superluser]

Alondro, have I ever told you that you amuse me?

What, like a clown?  He amuses you?

[Netrogo]

Alondro, have I ever told you that you amuse me?

What, like a clown?  He amuses you?

If we're talking the clown from 'It' then yes

[Alondro]

Alondro, have I ever told you that you amuse me?

What, like a clown?  He amuses you?

If we're talking the clown from 'It' then yes

We all float down here, and you'll float too!  YOU'LLLL ALLL FLOOOOOAT!!!! 

You'll never see me, you'll only see what you're little minds can understand.   So beware, Billy!  Beware!  You'll lose you're little minds in my dead... lights...

[Brunhidden]

i have no idea what your talking about

in fact, i have no idea whats going on as far as much anything is concerned right now, because of my next observation.


my wife takes me for granted as some kind of tool. specifically that i will do portions of her work and not really need to be 'asked' persay. last night i had a four hour nap before going in to work about midnight while she slept and leaving for home about seven in the morning, once i reached home i was told i was not sleeping today- she needed me back at work at 11 in the morning to help her with her work, and i just got back home to rest about seven at night. but will i sleep? no, in a short period of time i have to deliver a lunch to her, and then an hour or two later i have to pick her up and bring her back home, followed by about a two hour gap or so that i have to maybe eat before going BACK to work at midnight while she sleeps and staying another seven hours, to return tomorrow at about 11, where i will probably work until five or six, and back to work at midnight AGAIN while she sleeps for another seven hours.

AFTER THAT i can sleep, for about three hours, on the couch, with my knees hanging over the edge and my feet on the floor. i need a bigger couch.

my next observation- when i go for over 20 hours without sleep i suddenly need to eat 3 times my normal amount and develop an intense twitch in my arms, neck, and eyes. if this persists for over 25 hours or so i start giggling for no reason whatsoever.

fun eh?

We compound our suffering by victimizing each other

[Fuyudenki]

from what I've heard, that sounds pretty much typical for a wife.  Also pretty typical for staying up late.  My primary impetus for getting enough sleep is that I get hungry when I stay up until all hours of the night.  Secondary is that I don't really enjoy being a zombie the following day.

[lucas marcone]

dude...that is SO unfair i wouldn't go through that crap. that kind of sleep schedule can damage the body.

[Netrogo]

Why're you on the couch? Shouldn't you be in the bed?

[Brunhidden]

Why're you on the couch? Shouldn't you be in the bed?

because my wife is also hammered after such a rigorous schedule and has been asleep for the last 3 hours before i got home so i do not wish to wake her. on another note i have to say that about 3/4ths of my 'sleep' is couch based, so i REALLY need a bigger couch... being a big guy can be a problem sometimes like that and hitting your head on door frames, but at least it comes with the ability to throw people and move furniture by myself.  thankfully we can relax until next weekend, and the following weekend should be the last we do this in a while- the extra work is kind of pointless and our bosses only occasionally spring this on us.


in other news i had a very fun observation- many people freak out when their manager (me) twitches spastically and giggles incessantly. also, two people quit, i have no idea if its related or not. I don't blame them, if my manager came to work and polished a gun while singing 'its a small world' i would probably bolt too.

Demonic forces? Terrible danger? This is perfect!

[Eowyn]

What Eowyn types- pppppppoooooppppppoooooooooooooooooooottppppppppppppppp

What Eowyn says- Potty, igopotty. stinky, eew

What Eowyn means- I have been using the potty recently, have switched to pull ups (when they tried underwear i kept wetting myself) and enjoy not having a load in my pants. mommy and the other guy are happy, but i still have accidents now and then

[Brunhidden]

Yesterday was a Grade A Eowyn day, and i shall run down what she did

first she dressed herself- in a green shirt that said "i *clover* saint patrics day" and a pair of fuzzy red socks.... no pants

shortly thereafter she found an errant fine tipped marker and drew tribal tattoos on her right cheek and left leg, they were pretty good actually.

heres the fun one, halfway through the day we went shopping and stopped by a sporting goods store so my wife could purchase a small trampoline and look at a clothing sale- eowyn immediately went to the weights, and tried to lift the 90 pound dumbbells. she couldn't, she ordered my wife to, she couldn't, and then she ordered me to... i thought it was best to put them on the rack before she tried it again. however she loved the idea so much she grabbed a small pair of weights for herself. the 1 pound weights she thought were too wimpy, so got 2 pound weights. she then spent the rest of yesterday and part of today pumping iron and saying "STRONG!"

the evening ended at an applebees, where Eowyn dined on mozzarella sticks- by stretching them into string and demanding that both my wife and i hold the ends in our mouth so she could play it.

this is not a typical day with eowyn, but its not far off

[Kenji]

Haha. Forcing her parents to go "Lady and the Tramp".

[techmaster-glitch]

Reading this makes me smile very much

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

"Strong!" ;-]

[Brunhidden]

This last weekend Eowyn did her normal stuff, but her 'normal stuff' at grandmas was never reported to us until now. This i needed to hear

1- for the past month or so Eowyn has been helping grandma bake, taking particular care in cracking eggs for baking. This weekend she baked brownies, banana bread, and not very good cookies

2- grandma went out to prune and trim the berry bushes, so she got a pruning snips and work gloves. Eowyn demanded she get a pair too, and kinda sorta helped prune too by holding the snips on the bush and ripping the leaves off. afterwards the prunings were thrown on a fire, so Eowyn threw her snips in too, and then asked if she did a good job with the snip snip

3- grandma took Eowyn to catch butterflies, giving shorty a box for the bugs and swinging a butterfly net. after catching a few grandmas foot slipped and she fell, looked up and saw eowyn dump her box and say "go getem mama". cute but frustrating

4- Eowyns dance repertoire has expanded. previously she moonwalked in a bathroom and pole danced at a graduation party. just yesterday she got some coffee filters and did an 'erotic' fan dance. its just too cute for me to actually be disturbed

[techmaster-glitch]

Ah, the antics of the innocently young. They are so random, it is impossible for it to get old. everytime you think you've seen it all, a little one does something you never imagined