The Fortunately/Unfortunately Game: The Adventures Continue!

[techmaster-glitch]

I remember a really old children's book that is the basis for this game. Basically, you have a character, and goodthings and bad things keep happening to him. I'll try to recite what lines I remember: (he was going to a party, this excerpt is in the middle of his story)

Unfortunately, Clark's plane blew up, and he had to eject.
Fortunately, he had a parachute with him.
Unfortunatly, the parachute had a hole.
Fortunately, there was a haystack beneath him.
Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork in the haystack.
Fortunately, he missed the pitchfork.
Unfortunately he missed the haystack.
Fortunately he landed in water.
Unfortunately, there were sharks in the water.
Fortunately, Clark could swim.
Unfortunately, the sharks could swim faster.
Fortunatlety, Clark reached land.

And on and on, until he finally got to the party he was invited to (which, fortunately, was his own birthday party)

So I'm starting a game based off of this. I think it'll be...interesting...to say the least. I'll begin the story, (with a fortunately) and the next person to post will make something unfortunate happen to him. The next person rectifies this with a fortunately, the next person makes an unfortunately, and so on and so forth.

Rules: Pretty much here to state the obvious, but also to warn dumbass n00bs.
-When you post, it must be the oppostite of what the person right above you posted. So if someone, say, posted a fortunately, you really want to post an unfortunatly, but someone beats you to it, tough luck. Go with the flow or not at all.
-No killing the character, obviously.
-For that matter, do NOT make a fortunately/unfortunately that stops the game and makes it impossible for someone else to post. If you do, I will make sure an admin smites you and removes your post so it can be mocked in teh A.M.
-No multiposting. That means, do not post a fortunately and an unfortunatly in the same post just because you want to. You get one line, and that's it. Kinda like the Next Word Game. (though you can occasionally get away with technically posting more than one word in that game, it will NOT be tolerated here)
-This one is more for amusing asthetics than for purpose. You don't reeeealy have to follow it, but it would be cool if you did. Everytime you post, change your message icon (right under the subject bar, for those of you that don't know) If you're posting a fortunately, change it to a Smiley. If you're posting an unfortuantely, change it to a Sad.
I think that's just about it for the excessive rules. Now for the game!

EDIT: Removed invalid text.
Also, it's gone to the treasury? Good gods, I never even dreamed this could happen when I first started this game!

[techmaster-glitch]

Fortunately, that damn sponge has been dead for years due to lynching.

[Ryudo Lee]

Unfortunately, Paul was the leader of that lynch mob and has been on the lam for years.

[lucas marcone]

fortunately the cops don't care as they were in on it too.

[gh0st]

unfortunately jack thompson decides to do a little *insert illegal drug* and sues nintendo for making a spongebob game and making some random kid kill his parents which never actually happened... then a giant mushroom lands on the white house lawn and off it comes the prince off of katamari damacy to eat up the president and Harrison Ford.

[Ryudo Lee]

Fortunately, that was all just a mass hallucination.  Everyone's been spending the past few hours staring up at the sky and drooling.

[Zedd]

Unfortunately everyone has the munchies now and someone ate all the chips

[DarkAudit]

Fortunately they made more chips.

[GabrielsThoughts]

unfortunately those chips were nothing more than bittersweet chocolatey goodness...everyone is now fated to die a death by chocolate.

[lucas marcone]

fortunately death is relative and thus means the death of a healthy life style.

[GabrielsThoughts]

unfortunately death is also permanent, so the truth is everyone has become chocolate starved zombies.

[techmaster-glitch]

Fortunately, chocolate-starved zombies are funny!

[Ryudo Lee]

Unfortunately, the zombie hunters are not amused.

[Kitsune Ascendant]

Fortunately, the zombies aren't also ninjas.

[Ryudo Lee]

Unfortunately, the zombie hunters are.

[gh0st]

fortunately i turn into a guy version of a mary sue for a day and put every single zombie on the slim fast diet plan...

[Dannysaysnoo]

unfortunately, it was the really cheap, knock-off slimfast stuff, and got the zombies really fat.

[Kitsune Ascendant]

Fortunately, the zombie hunters went on the same diet so it evens out.

[GabrielsThoughts]

unfortunately the rotting slim kwik in their bellies makes the zombies as explosive as nitroglycerin, and gives the zombie hunters explosive diarrhea... as well as heartburn, nausea, indigestion, and fatty liver disease.

[gh0st]

fortunatly the zombies now explode in a massive fireball chain reaction type deally and they all die because of a shotgun labeled bat

[Ryudo Lee]

Unfortunately, that was all just a second retake of the commercial for Spells R Us (unfortunate because it was a really bad commercial and got really low numbers).

[Kitsune Ascendant]

Fortunately the Bloodbath and beyond comercial was a huge success.

[Dannysaysnoo]

unfortunately its success was so vast that the economy crashed.

[gh0st]

fortunately that was just a simulated ordeal and the real zombies are over at eb games playing video games...

[GabrielsThoughts]

unfortunately deathklock was scheduled to hold a concert  across the street with millions of fans awaiting their arrival  including Coop, Goat, Kiva, and Jamie, the unfortunate part occurs when the Death Cube lands on the electronics boutique across the street with the zombie gamers inside, and when the cube opens more death occurs.

http://www.vidiac.com/video/ed0cb471-052d-4ef6-878c-98ba01274250.htm

[lucas marcone]

fortunately coop and the gang remain safe throughout the concert and even manage to aviod the coffee and stop deth kloks chef from dieing.

[GabrielsThoughts]

unfortunately the chef still gets cut to pieces by the helicopter because of coop's inattention to detail.

[lucas marcone]

fortunately Kiva always can fix Coop f*** ups and the chef is back to normal, albeit more effecient.

[gh0st]

unfortunately George krstic decides to be idiotic and sues amber 50 million dollars for not keeping her forum in check ultimately leading to no more dmfa (oh noes)

[Dannysaysnoo]

fortunately, everyone has a DMFA revival concert and DMFA lives on!