Oh lawd, is that some drink reviews?

[Jim Halisstrad]

I make no secret of it, I am a rotund man.  And a man who loves his liquid refreshment.

I'll get right to the skinny of the issue.

Super energy drink Fad special edition. 
Monster Energy, Low Carb style.

Pros:  The can design is very attention getting.  A big Blue clawed out M, a font that looks cool and is very bold, and a catch phrase that while a tad overused, doesn't want to make me claw my eyes out.  "Unleash the Beast!"

As far as energy drinks go, this one actually keeps me awake longer then most. 

Cons:
Ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages, it is my soloem duty to inform you all that there is in fact a hell.  I have had many a dangerous experience in my 24 years of sampling carbonated beverages and I have NEVER tasted anything this foul in my entire life.  Worse then Paps Blue Ribbon could ever hope to be, this drink is Nasty incarnate.
It tastes like a sweetener that had somehow been tainted with pain and suffering shagged a radioactive chemical spill.
An interesting side note, some people think this is a more chalky of a taste.

If you manage to avoid retching your battle is not yet over.  The aftertaste lingers and is at least half as bad as the initial taste.  What ever you do, avoid burping!!!  A cruel torture indeed. 

.5 out of Five [insert object here]

Next up on the list, the ever pressent classic Jolt Cola (Which they have only recently started selling 'round these parts)

Pros:  The can not only is shaped like a giant battery, when you crack the lid on this bad mofo it makes the neatest indescribable sound.  I say indescribable because I can't remember if it was a 'ffsssst' or a pop.... but I do remember the couple of times I have sampled it there was a vapor that you could visibly see escaping the can.  Much like the raw power of caffeine was barely contained.

I've found that the aftertaste is about on par with what you would get from a Coke.

Cons:  It tastes like a flat Coke.  Which isn't really all that bad, it's just really not all that good either.

If you are in any shape sensitive to caffeine, this drink will probably KILL you.

3 out of five.


VAULT:  IT DRINKS LIKE A SODA KICKS LIKE AN ENERGY DRINK.  WHOOOOOOOOOOOO
DEAR GOD, WHY ARE YOU HERE READING THIS!  DRINK SOME VAULT AND CLIMB A MOUNTAIN.  NO, CLIMB FIVE MOUNTAINS!  AND WHILE YOU'RE CLIMBING THOSE MOUNTAINS YOU'LL IGNORE THE FACT THAT THIS SHIT TASTES LIKE THE BASTARD SON OF SURGE AND SUNDROP SODA.

Good commercials, terrible drink.
Never drink diet vault.  It tastes like an abortion in your mouth.

2 out of five.

Next time, on Jim reviews drinks.  Nos, Amp, and diet Mountain Dew?

[Brunhidden]

what i find repulsive is when the ads for the sweeteners people use claiming the consumers think it tastes just like sugar, or cant tell the difference between diet and regular. and out of morbid curiosity why does anyone drinking an energy drink demand low cal? energy comes from 2 sources- sugar, caffene. the only other energy drinks ive seen were heavy B vitamins and they make me want to projectile vomit....but back to the poor sods who drink the diet sodas.

these people must either have been born without taste buds or it has been so long sinse they've HAD a regular they've forgotten what good tastes like. my wife, my best friend, and i have all had instances where we sampled a new drink and spit it out immediately when we tasted splenda in it, yes we can taste it and we dont want to be anywhere near the stuff. regular artificial sweeteners are even worse, the few times ive had diet drinks i had to fight the urge to lick dirt to overpower the taste....how can people think thats refreshing and flavorful? how?

we need to save these people, and fast.


i drink vault, occasionally. its really a 'i need to stay awake but its too hot to drink coffee' solution. bitter, yes, but if it were sweeter it would be mountain dew anyways. now i feel bad for all the abortions in my mouth....i wonder who the fathers were....

SO whats this machine do?
That sir is the pinical of technology! We are living in a new age. What you have there is a bonified paitented sewage purification device.
So what it purifies sewage?
Thats right sire. Amazing isn't it.
So what you put in raw sewage and you get?
Well purified sewage sir. The essence as it were.
I think I'll just be leaving now.

[gh0st]

monsters aren't that bad but what will kill you is those diet energy drinks. in order to get the buzz of a shot of pure caffeine they have to load it with so many herbs and vitamin which throws the body into a catatonic state... long story short they not only taste like shit on a stick they also are verrrrrrrry dangerous (like a ninja )

also the energy drinks and other stuff that have pure Caffeine as the main ingredient are highly addictive like my brothers girl friend is up to 8 monsters in a day... too put that in perspective the first time i had one i almost puked my lung out....

also i've lost faith in the coke company... i was about to puke every time i had one...
Pepsi rocks

[Netami]

Here is my review of Barq's Rootbeer.

Pros: It has good taste. 

Cons: None; if you do not like it, you're a horrible person.

[Zedd]

My review on Mountian Dew Amp

Ups: Great taste that leave you feel hyper and wide awake and yet refreshed every few sips

Downs: Theirs not alot in this can even if its a tall boy size of a can its always a problem 


 

[Cogidubnus]

[Zorro]

Coffee the original energy drink!  And still the best naturally sugar free.


And one that doesn't taste like kool-aid or sweetarts candy.  Might as well just eat a bag of sugar instead.

[bill]

[rabid_fox]

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

ew! Kill it! Kill it with fire!

The logo, it burns! The goggles! They do nothing!

*cough*

[bill]

Ted Williams thinks Diet Coke is shit.

[rabid_fox]

Ted Williams is a foolish fool whose folly will follow him to the grave.

[bill]

Ted Williams is already dead.


But he'll still kick your ass.

[rabid_fox]

I find that hard, nay, impossible to believe. We all know he's more of a face-crusher than an ass-kicker.

[bill]

Yeah, being a .344 lifetime hitter could help in smashing faces in.

[R.A.M.]

i remember surge
that crap was addicting.
few years ago my ma bought a big ass costco casefull of that crack in a can,40 sum cans and i finished it in two days,i,m surprised im not dead,

ironically my binge drinking was recreated in that futurama episode with that drink called Slurm
.
.
.
GOOD LORD

[Netrogo]

I like this new drink that I just discovered not too long ago. NOS. Apparently it's being marketed by the same people who make actual NOS for cars considering they use the same logo. The drink itself has a pretty generic energy drink taste to it but WOW does it ever pack a punch. It has 2750mg of Taurine and 343mg of caffeine per bottle, and a bunch of other medical ingredients but those two are the big ones.

[bill]

NOS and Jolt seem to be the in drinks where I live. Me, I just stick to good-ol' Red Bull.

[superluser]

NOS and Jolt seem to be the in drinks where I live. Me, I just stick to good-ol' Red Bull.

Naw.  Jolt Cola is old-schoolin' it.  Plus, it can't be confused with Schlitz Malt Liquor.

[bill]

The new Jolt is a disgrace to the name of Jolt Cola.

[Netrogo]

NOS and Jolt seem to be the in drinks where I live. Me, I just stick to good-ol' Red Bull.

Nobody drinks NOS 'round here. 'Cept me that is.

[bill]

That's because you're weird, and probably have no friends.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Go for the real thing.

Take half a dozen No-Doz, and slam a 2L Dew down on top.

Then try to go to sleep. ;-]

[Tapewolf]

Nobody drinks NOS 'round here. 'Cept me that is.

That doesn't mean 'New Old Stock' in this particular case, does it?

[Feroluce]

also the energy drinks and other stuff that have pure Caffeine as the main ingredient are highly addictive like my brothers girl friend is up to 8 monsters in a day... too put that in perspective the first time i had one i almost puked my lung out....

also i've lost faith in the coke company... i was about to puke every time i had one...
Pepsi rocks

Sorry, was reading over the topic and had to stop there. Tell her that, in absolute seriousness, having that much caffine a day, every day, is killing her liver. My brothers workmate was doing a similer thing with V, an energy drink here, and just barely escaped the transplant list - his liver recovered against his doctors (and surgeons) expectations.

apparently he is still having trouble with his kidneys lol.

He was up to 10 per day, though.

[bill]

As an administrator of this forum, I feel a personal responsibility to make sure this forum is kept up to the maximum standards.

Thus, I am disappointed in myself when errors slip through the cracks.

also i've lost faith in the coke company... i was about to puke every time i had one...
Pepsi rocks

Pepsi does not "rock", as this post may indicate. It in fact tastes like complete shit. I apologize for any inconvenience caused by misinterpretation of this post.

[superluser]

Pepsi does not "rock", as this post may indicate. It in fact tastes like complete shit. I apologize for any inconvenience caused by misinterpretation of this post.

To be fair, excessive Pepsi poisoning may result in serious side effects, such as desire to be part of the Next Generation, deriving pleasure from Pepsi commercials and the mistaken belief that Pepsi does not taste like shit.

Now, RC, that's good drinkin'.

(I do have to agree with you that new Jolt is not as good as the original Jolt.)

[bill]

RC's always tasted a bit flat to me. It's still better than Pepsi, though.

I still love Moxie, though. Tastes like liquid pain.

[TheGreyRonin]

 *ahem* I don't buy energy drinks; I mix my own.

In an empty 20 ounce bottle, add a half teaspoon of lemon juice. Add two ounces of orange juice. Mix the remaining amount evenly with Pepsi and sweetened black cherry Kool-aid.

Yes, it will wake the dead. Yes, it is supposed to be brown. No, do not let it sit more than two days, even if refrigerated.

Adjust the amounts to taste if desired.

[Tapewolf]

No, do not let it sit more than two days, even if refrigerated.

Now I'm curious.