[Story] The Future History of Jakob Pettersohn (11/Jul/09 - Final Chapter)

[Cogidubnus]

...terrorist chocolate eggs?

*sneeeerks, gigglefit*

[Zedd]

...terrorist chocolate eggs?

*sneeeerks, gigglefit*

Yet so tasty

[Slowtini]

"You abolished the law of gravity,"


...Yep, That settles it. Tape, do I know you? Because Daryil's starting to sound more and more like me with every chapter you write.

[Tapewolf]

...terrorist chocolate eggs?
*sneeeerks, gigglefit*

Actually, the idea came last year after my first experience with airport security.  Basically I brought a batch of Kinder eggs to Anthrocon (both times) and on the first time, I was a little disconcerted at what they'd make of 12 egg-shaped things which show up opaque on the X-ray scanner (being wrapped in foil).  That later gave me the idea of the Cadbury's Creme Egg bomb.  That's the problem with me - if I'm told not to do something, I'll figure out ways to do it.

"You abolished the law of gravity,"
...Yep, That settles it. Tape, do I know you? Because Daryil's starting to sound more and more like me with every chapter you write.

There's pictures of me in the AC thread and the photo album.  I was also on the Ultima Dragons newsgroup for about 10 years.  Among my more well-known creations are the anti-walkthroughs on it-he.org and the Doom add-on "The Sky May Be", which was featured on the 2003 "Ten Most Infamous Doom WADs" retrospective.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

FWIW, the airport X-ray machines will see _through_ the foil. Not well, but enough to see that there's nothing in there to ignite the contents. Getting a detonator through the security is a little more difficult.

OTOH, having a gameboy, with a stack of eggs, and a power supply for it, and you could probably waltz right in. And then pull the wires from the power supply, plug it into the egg, and use the gameboy to set it off...


But that's a different discussion.

[Jairus]

FWIW, the airport X-ray machines will see _through_ the foil. Not well, but enough to see that there's nothing in there to ignite the contents. Getting a detonator through the security is a little more difficult.

OTOH, having a gameboy, with a stack of eggs, and a power supply for it, and you could probably waltz right in. And then pull the wires from the power supply, plug it into the egg, and use the gameboy to set it off...


But that's a different discussion.

On the one hand, that is all genuinely fascinating information. On the other hand, I'm a little frightened that Boxy of all people knows how to do something like that.

[Tapewolf]

On the one hand, that is all genuinely fascinating information. On the other hand, I'm a little frightened that Boxy of all people knows how to do something like that.

Quite simply, terrorism is successful because terrorists are able to pass unnoticed and unremarked upon -- but they fail to count on the best intelligence network ever devised; the American people.  How can you tell who might be a terrorist?  Look for the following characteristics:

* A stranger or foreigner
* Argumentative, especially about politics or philosophy
* Probing questions about your work, particularly high-tech
* Spends a greater than average amount of time on the Net
* Interests in chemistry, electronics or computers
* Large numbers of mail-order deliveries
* Taking photographs of major landmarks

And those are just a few.  If you're suspicious, then turn them in to your local law enforcement agencies for a thorough background check.  Better safe than sorry.  You and your neighbours will sleep more securely knowing that you're watching each other's back.

Brownie points for the first person to say where that came from.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Piffle. The idea is trivial.

Doing it in such a way that the explosives don't blow your hand through the back of your head is the tricky part. One of the many reasons why I don't mess about with explosives - they're fun, but very very dangerous if you don't know what you're doing.

eg, most of the explosive mixes that the terrorists these days are apparently using are the "I don't care if my bathtub turns into a 60 foot crater" type; the IRA wouldn't touch this stuff with a barge pole, because they wanted to go home and bang their missus of an evening.

Or so I'm told.

Brownie points for the first person to say where that came from.

Let me guess: the metropolitan police advice on how to spot a terrorist?

... no, they said something about more than one mobile phone.

I'd say a parody, but sadly, it's far too close to what the actual advice is...

[Dannysaysnoo]

On the one hand, that is all genuinely fascinating information. On the other hand, I'm a little frightened that Boxy of all people knows how to do something like that.

Quite simply, terrorism is successful because terrorists are able to pass unnoticed and unremarked upon -- but they fail to count on the best intelligence network ever devised; the American people.  How can you tell who might be a terrorist?  Look for the following characteristics:

* A stranger or foreigner
* Argumentative, especially about politics or philosophy
* Probing questions about your work, particularly high-tech
* Spends a greater than average amount of time on the Net
* Interests in chemistry, electronics or computers
* Large numbers of mail-order deliveries
* Taking photographs of major landmarks

And those are just a few.  If you're suspicious, then turn them in to your local law enforcement agencies for a thorough background check.  Better safe than sorry.  You and your neighbours will sleep more securely knowing that you're watching each other's back.

Brownie points for the first person to say where that came from.

ooh! ooh! I know! It's Deus Ex!

[Tapewolf]

ooh! ooh! I know! It's Deus Ex!

You get a brownie point.

[Slowtini]

Right, never mind, I don't know you, Tape.

But still, the personality of Daryil almost matches my own.
Hell, I know I'd cheat at game shows, given such amazing power.

[Gabi]

Thrilling chapter, JP!

[Tapewolf]

Chapter 40 - Problems

Dorcan wept as he and Seth came across the bodies, the wounded.  They did what they could, Daryil - dressed in a particularly fetching fire-fighter's outfit - healed those he could help and placed the fallen in stasis.
Dorcan knew that all this carnage was his fault, and he wondered if it was possible to be voluntarily imprisoned the way someone might commit themselves to a mental facility.

Maybe they will blame Daryil, he thought with a guilty kind of hope.

"I heard that," the fox told him.

At length they had covered most of the wreckage.  Salomere's own cell - at the epicentre of the devastation - was empty, but the Doberman spotted blood and chunks of fur.  Someone had died here.  Trembling, he examined the fur... it was too long and too red to be his mother's.  He stared again at the blood and noticed that some of it formed a trail.  Leaving Seth behind to tend the injured, he and Daryil followed it.

* * *

"You!" Keaton yelped, turning to face Kirian.  "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you glowing," the warp-aci burbled.  "Why are you glowing, Key-tun?"

Oh shit, Keaton thought.  That floaty little retard can see me clear as day.
As a rule she had never questioned that Xianxi was able to spot her while she was invisible, assuming that it was part of the bond between Warp-Aci and summoner.  But now she remembered it was far more than that... Xianxi and Kirian were made of the very darkness she was cloaking herself in.

"I... it's... a game.  You mustn't let the others know I'm here."

Kirian nodded back inanely.  "Lollipops," she said.

Oh, great.

A few minutes later, Keaton was safely back in her cupboard and Kirian was on her way back to her master.  As it happened, it was Niall's turn for cleaning duties.

"Let me guess..." Joshua said, "This room belongs to Daryil?"

"Got it in one," Niall replied.  Joshua glanced along the room.  Where a normal person might have hung pictures or posters, Daryil's room was decorated with fish of various sizes which he had crucified upon the walls.  It looked strangely reminiscent of a poster the husky had seen in a fishmonger's shop some years before.

"Dad went apeshit when he found out," the fox continued.  "It was one of the only times I've ever seen him really lose his temper since Ha'Khun.  Clan leader or no, Daryil had to keep a low profile for weeks after that, even though he varnished them and used enchantments to cut down the smell."

One one bare patch of wall, a dartboard hung adorned with a photograph of some nuns.  It had been penetrated by darts of various sizes, up to and including a small machete.

"What I don't understand," Joshua said, plugging in the vacuum cleaner, "Is why you can't modify some of the panthers into cleaners?"

"They don't like it," Niall said, dusting a bookshelf.  "They're fighters, and they find it kind of demeaning.  I suppose we might be able to develop some new kind of intelligence from them which is more amenable to it, but-" he looked up.

"Ah, there you are," the fox said, glancing at Kirian.  "Where have you been?  And where did you get those?" he added, glancing at the lollipops.

"Keytun gave them to me," the warp aci replied happily.

"Keaton?"

"She's hiding in the kitchen, but I mustn't tell anyone.  It's a game."

Niall stared at the warp-aci in disbelief for a few seconds.  Then his watch rang.

"Hey, Niall," Jakob said, "Ashley and I are thinking of eating out.  Do you want to come?"

"Eat out?" Joshua asked nervously.  "You don't mean... hunting..." his voice guttered into silence.

"'Course not," Jakob said.  "There's some new horror film showing at the Lost Lake multiplex.  Let's see... Farmland Massacre IV - Death by Fire and the Hoe.  It starts at 5pm, local time, so there's no rush.  You're welcome to join us if you want."

"What about Dorcan?" Niall asked.  "I mean, he doesn't need to eat and all, but don't you think it would be polite to wait until he gets back?"

"Yes, you're right," Jakob said, and his headwings drooped slightly.  "I hope he has some good news.  He could do with a break, poor kid."

* * *

At the end of Dorcan's trail of blood there was an office.  Judging by the lights, this part of the building still had power.  Dorcan backed against the door frame and then spun around, kicking the door open and launching himself into the room in a single, neat movement.
Salomere was sitting at a table, a bandage around her head.  A demon was sat next to her, and of all things, a teapot on the table.

"Dorcan!" she called.  "What are you doing here?"

"We came to rescue you!  We must get out of here, quickly!"

"Let go of her, you fiend!" Daryil added.

"No!" Salomere protested.  "I can't leave!"

"Fair enough," Daryil said, and walked away.

Dorcan was flabbergasted.  "What?  Why not?"

"Because I would be absconding from prison!  I can't do that!  I must stay here until they have pardoned me."

"And how many centuries will that take?  What makes you think they will ever accept that you are innocent?"

"Dorcan, is it?" interrupted the demon.  "Salomere's augmented son?  Governor Tarfael.  Would you like some tea?  Your mother has just given us a very interesting recording."

"Uh, no thanks... did you say 'recording'?  How could she make a recording here in prison?"

"Salomere has been very cooperative, at least until the disaster happened.  As a reward, she was given a digital voice recorder.  Strictly speaking, we do encourage it among all but our most violent inmates as part of our rehabilitation programme.  There is of course, one slight catch... the recorders are bugged.
"So, while the device she had about her person was destroyed in the blast, it had already transmitted the conversation back to the servers in our basement.  When we played back the recording, we heard one Salwin of the notorious Rhu'Hahn Clan confess to murdering one of our guards and Mayor Faldathan's wayward son.  A few minutes later, in an attempt to kill your mother, she caused an explosion that has resulted in the devastation you now see.  It was fortunate that the eastern half of the building was undergoing refurbishment, or there would have been many more casualties."

Dorcan stared.  "Does this mean that..."

"I have forwarded this information to the first councillor of Thorsden, and he has forwarded it to Mayor Faldathan.  We expect her to be formally pardoned in Thorsden within the hour.  At that point she will be free to leave, though the situation in Kurnshire will presumably take longer to resolve, what with the compensation and the various bounties and so forth that will need to be rescinded."

At that moment, Seth came in.  He looked shaken.

"What is it?" Dorcan asked.  "And where's Daryil?"

"Outside", Seth said, a faraway look in his eyes.

"It was incredible... he was dressed in a white robe... long, flowing brown hair..." the wolf babbled, clutching at a mug of hot tea which the demon thrust into his hands.  "All of the dead people... he touched them all... every one of them and said 'bless you, my son'... and they just got up..."

Dorcan covered his face.  "Not again... I mean it's nice of him to help people like that, but couldn't he use a less blasphemous disguise when does this kind of thing?  Tell me he at least hid the hip-wings this time."

Seth didn't answer.  Brought up as a monster hunter, Tri-Winged 'Cubi were something incredibly rare, and something that you avoided like the plague.  Impulsively, he touched the cup to his lips and then suddenly spluttered as he remembered that he couldn't drink anymore.

"Not enough sugar?" the Governor asked.

* * *

In one of the laboratories, Azrael had a small circuit board under test, prodding various parts of the circuit with an oscilloscope.  In the middle of the board was a large enchanted gem.
The snow leopard was just typing up a short note on a nearby laptop, when the wall display in front of him flashed 'INCOMING'.  He snapped his fingers.

"Oh, hi, Azrael," Martha said.  "I've got a call for Jakob.  Is he around?"

"He's busy at the moment.  I'll take it."

"Hold on," the mare replied and vanished, to be replaced by a bat-winged feline.

"R&D.  Page speaking,"

"Mi'lord!" the demon exclaimed, an expression of surprise on his features.  "I... I was greatly saddened to hear of your death.  I am glad that it was a hoax."

"Actually I am dead," Azrael replied.  "Well, kind of.  You were at Ha'Khun?"

"I still am.  Something strange is in the air.  But first... I am led to believe that Johan Cross is alive.  I wish to talk to him.  Is he available?"

"One moment.  Jakob?" Azrael called.  The wolf arrived a few moments later, clutching another gem.

"Jakob Pettersohn speaking.  Who are you, and how did you find me?" he asked casually.

"The National Sinister," he replied.  The incubus' expression was like thunder and his wings fanned out threateningly.

"Go away," he said in a carefully-controlled voice.  "I've put up with that rag for centuries, and that 'audit' was the last straw.  I am not extending the subscription.  Now be off with you."

The demon looked nonplussed for a moment.  "I'm not with the magazine," he said, "It can make for a good laugh, but I find it most useful to mop things up with.  Anyway, they published the results of their appalling little survey in the latest issue.  If you must know, I scored 28%.  But I called you because I want to ask a few questions about Ha'Khun."

Jakob was taken aback.

"Past or present?  I'll have you know I'm not proud of what I did after Azrael died..."

"Present.  I'm kind of curious about Lord Page, though.  You truly brought him back from the dead?  I had heard it was one of your long-standing goals... is that what you've been doing since you left the realm?"

"Pretty much.  Now, who are you, and what is your interest in Ha'Khun?"

"Call me Sanderssen.  I've lived in Ha'Khun for about 600 years, and I currently sit upon the Council.  We have a bit of a problem.  Something very disturbing is happening and... well, I wanted to know if you knew anything about it."

"Whether I was responsible," Jakob said, with a ghost of his Johan Cross smile.  "No.  I have no dealings with Ha'Khun anymore.  After all the terrible things I did there, I'm not sure I want to go back."

Sanderssen nodded.  "Yes, you'd get something of a mixed reception.  There are people who remember the terror of your reign, as well as a bunch of nutters who believe that you'll return to lead them to paradise or something."  Jakob covered his eyes.

"Either way, I always hoped you would snap out of your madness," Sanderssen said.  "I'm glad to see that you did."

"Thanks," Jakob said, blushing slightly.  "Anyway, what is happening?"

"People are changing," the demon said.  "Stalwart members of society are suddenly turning their backs upon their jobs, their families.  It's almost like they're not the same person anymore.  I fear that someone may be brainwashing the cityfolk."

"Is it really my business, though?"  Jakob pondered.  "Ha'Khun seems to have been doing well enough without me, and to be honest, I really don't want to get involved.  It would send the wrong signals."

"I don't know," Azrael said.  "I built that place pretty much myself.  I saw it grow from a village to a realm, and I haven't been there since I died.  I'd rather like to see what it looks like these days."

"Please don't get me wrong," Sanderssen added, "but word is likely to get out that you are still alive, Mr. Pettersohn.  If this... problem... continues, people are liable to blame it on you."

[Dannysaysnoo]

Jakob shouldn't go, but maybe Dorcan should. he'd be less noticeable. Until someone threw a magnet at him.

In other news, designs for my explosive cream egg are underway. Lighter fluid should ignite from a spark, right?

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

"I heard that," the fox told him.

*snerk*

"Outside", Seth said, a faraway look in his eyes.

More *snerk*

[Zedd]

Your story always keeps me guessing Tape, Great chapter as always!

[Tapewolf]

Jakob shouldn't go, but maybe Dorcan should. he'd be less noticeable. Until someone threw a magnet at him.

I haven't finalised the list, but Jakob is not going to be going himself.

In other news, designs for my explosive cream egg are underway. Lighter fluid should ignite from a spark, right?

Probably.  However I really would recommend not doing this kind of thing, in the current political climate they may send you to Egypt or somewhere to be tortured.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

In other news, designs for my explosive cream egg are underway. Lighter fluid should ignite from a spark, right?

It'll ignite, but it'll burn, not explode.

Chocolate as an incendiary device has limitations, in that the burning needs to be fast, but not enclosed, since the chocolate itself doesn't provide enough structural rigidity to make the difference.

Cyclotrimethalinetrinitramine or nitroglycerin tend to explode, rather than burn, making it possible to use a casing that really isn't enclosing, or providing pressure; although the former will burn happily if you do not use a detonator. Gunpowder is not, and if you light it while it's not packed tight and pressurised, it'll just burn quickly. Most of the backyard chemical stuff you can do is fairly tricky and somewhat fraught, and highly disrecommended; bathtub chemists have a habit of blowing themselves up.

And, as Tapewolf says, messing with this stuff in the current political environment is just begging for someone to drag you away.

[Tapewolf]

Chapter 41 - Ha'Khun

It was growing dark.  While Salomere and Tarfael sorted out her release forms, Dorcan unzipped his jacket and admiring once again the physique that Daryil had given him, went out for a stroll in the evening air.
Many 'Cubi had a liking for flash clothing, and he was no exception.  Privately, he liked the way the black leather went against his wings, even though they were currently hidden.  When I get back to the base, I'll have to see if I can get it altered so I can wear it when my wings are out too.

With a sudden flash of guilt he remembered that his finery had actually been taken from the corpse of someone whose death he was partly responsible for.  Well, I hope he won't mind too much, the Doberman thought.  I mean, it's not like he'll be needing them anymore.  All the same, perhaps I should buy my own...
His expression turned to one of horror as he realised that his wallet was still in a grave in Mundesberg.

Suddenly a twig snapped behind him.  Out of sheer paranoia, Dorcan spun around and saw two furtive-looking Beings, a collie and a feline of mixed heritage.  They both wore prisoner's uniforms, and the collie was brandishing what appeared to be a jail warden's shortsword.

"May I help you?" he asked.  "If you're lost, the prison is that way."

"Your money or your death!" the feline told him.

The doberman glanced back at the prison.  Daryil was still playing Jesus, and Seth wouldn't be able to hear them at this distance.  And apart from the change from Scruff's pocket, he didn't have any money anyway.

"Death, please," he said, as though he was choosing a sandwich.  The pair looked at him for a moment.

"Alright," the collie said, and lunged at Dorcan, driving his sword between the ribs.  It wouldn't go in.
"That hurt," the Doberman said, glancing down at the gash in his chest.  The collie froze, the hackles on his back rising as the nanomechanical layer of the android's skin began to seal the cut.  Dorcan ignored it.  With a single movement, he wrested the blade from his attacker's hands, forced the flat of it down against his own knee and then struck it with both fists.  The blade was hardened steel, which meant it was brittle.  It made a pleasing sound as the metal shattered.

"I think it's time someone taught you a lesson," he said.  The collie assumed a defensive stance, as did his sidekick.

"Ohm's Law states that the current between two points of a conductor is in direct proportion to the potential difference between those two points..." Dorcan told him, delivering an uppercut to the collie's jaw.

"...and inversely proportional to the resistance of same.  This relationship is generally stated using the equation V equals I times R," he continued, delivering a swift kick to the cat's abdomen.

"...where V is the potential difference in Volts, I is the current in Amperes and R is the resistance in Ohms," Dorcan concluded, and punched the collie in the solar plexus.

"Now, I suggest you remember that, and remember it well, because if ever you cross my path again, it will come up in your test."

He left the two of them gasping for breath on the lawn.

* * *

"Salomere!" Jakob said, some time later.  "I heard on the news that your name was cleared."

"Thank you, Pettersohn!" she replied, hugging him.  "I'm very grateful for all the legal support you've given me."

"Any reason you're dressed in that get-up?" Dorcan asked, suddenly noticing that Jakob was wearing something that was almost - but not quite - fashionable.

"Sorry," Jakob said, his headwings wilting slightly.  "We had dinner at a cinema.  I'd invite you too, but we'd have missed the screening.  To be honest,it was a bit of a washout really.  For a Being-run establishment there were way too many Demons and they just thought it was funny.  And there was a troupe of other 'Cubi in disguise."

"How did you know?" Joshua asked.

"Because although the film left them so bored that they started checking their email in the middle of it, none of them got up to leave."

"So, was the film itself any good?" Salomere asked.

"Not really.  Lousy plot, wooden acting and they had an incubus as the bad guy."

As the others discussed the film, Dorcan collared Seth.  "I release you from servitude," he said.

Seth smiled.  "I drop my claims upon your body."

"Good," Jakob said, turning to face them.  "Now, Sethir... do you have any future plans?"

"Not really," the ex-incubus sighed.  "Back to Scruffs and Sethir, I suppose.  Though the paperwork is going to be terrible, and now that I've lost most
of my powers, it puts me at a big disadvantage.  I might have to re-think the contracts I accept."

"I may have one for you," Jakob said.  "Something is amiss in Ha'Khun and people are going to blame me unless we figure out who's really causing it.  I'm looking to build a team to send there."  Sethir nodded.

"Oh, by the way... Joshua," Jakob continued.  "Your body was one of the first successful versions, but we've made a number of improvements since then.  If you don't mind, I'd like to run a few diagnostic tests and install the latest system software."

The husky nodded and allowed himself to be led away by the incubus.

* * *

"You!" Mordrith said, and stepped back from the screen.  "What do you want?!"

"Several things," Daryil said.  "Firstly, I want to make sure you know that Salomere is free and pardoned.  Secondly, I want to extend the hand of friendship from Clan Daryil to Clan Ja'Fell.  An alliance."

"Really?"  Mordrith's eyes narrowed.  "And what do you want in return?"

"Nothing," Daryil said, looking slightly surprised.  "You don't seem to have many friends, and I... well, I thought you could do with a break."

The old Doberman's headwings drooped, and he remained silent for some time.  "I'm sorry," he said at last.
"I guess I'm a paranoid old fool.  It's just... it's been so long... I've been jumping at shadows for so many centuries... sometimes it seems like the whole world is out to kill us..."

Daryil realised that the incubus was gently weeping.  "That's just it, isn't it?" he said, with a faint smile.  "I'm offering you my protection.  You won't have to hide anymore.  Well, not as much, anyway."

* * *

The bar of the Angel Islington was quiet.  The company was varied, as Ha'Khun outlawed discrimination between Beings, Creatures and different races in general.  While this looked good on paper, in practice certain races had long-held grudges against each other.  Nonetheless the law was the law, and while things were sometimes frosty, the guards ensured that things went no further, and even now, a quarter of a millennia after the end of Johan Cross' iron rule, many of the older individuals remembered the unspoken threat hanging over anyone who sought to commit violence.

With this background, it came as little surprise that one of the few patrons of the Angel was himself an honest-to-gods Angel, his white, feathery wings openly visible behind his back for all to see.
The squirrel looked about twenty, but like most Creatures this was an illusion, concealing a man who had walked the world as a bounty hunter for more than a hundred years.  And so, in a manner rather more predatory than his feral counterpart, he watched quietly from the shadows as the newcomers entered the bar, and from their attitudes and posture alone, he tried to pinpoint their races.

There was a lynx, a demon, probably an incubus, a Siberian husky, Being, a wolf, another Being and finally a snow leopard.  A feather-winged snow-leopard.

The squirrel started briefly for a moment as he realised that the leopard was an Angel.  And then his eyes narrowed - the figure looked somehow familiar.

"Holy..." he murmured.

No, it can't be.  Maybe a descendant or something?  Still, after that funny business at Mundesberg with the doberman incubus, I guess it can't be ruled out entirely.

Rising, the squirrel touched the stud on his bracer and his wings melted away into invisbility and intangibility.  He emerged from the shadows, approaching the snow leopard.

"Excuse me," he asked.  "You look somehow familiar.  Have we met, perhaps?" he paused, as if trying to remember.  "No... are you perhaps kith or kin to the late Angel Page, who ruled these parts some centuries ago?"

"Indeed I am, good sir," Azrael replied, with a solemn nod.  "And whom have I the honour of addressing?"

He knows, the squirrel thought, cursing himself inwardly, and touched the concealment charm again.  There was no point in hiding anymore.

"James," he replied, as the white feathers manifested from his shoulder blades.

"James..." Azrael muttered, as if tasting the word.  "Might you be related to the bounty hunter, StarRunner?"

James hesitated, unsettled.  "I am indeed," he said gravely, and took the other's hand.  "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Are Angels always this verbose? Joshua wondered, stifling a yawn.

"Ah, but we are boring your companions," James said.  "Two Beings, and an Incubus, if I am not wrong?"

"You are right on my account," Ashley said, revealing his wings.  "Our companions are more difficult to classify, though," Azrael replied.  "For all intents and purposes, we may as well refer to them as 'Beings', though.  It is close enough."  Seth looked a little put out.

"So.  Are you planning to stay in our city, or are you just visiting?"

"Just a visit," Azrael said.  "We were invited here by Councillor Sanderssen to investigate some issue or another.  I have not been to Ha'Khun for some centuries, so it seemed like a good opportunity."

Inwardly, James flicked to attention.  The cult...

It was only a moment, but Ashley picked up on it.  Before he could say anything, Sanderssen emerged from the gents, noticed Azrael and stiffened.

"My Lord," he said, offering his hand.  "I am ever at your service.  May I ask, though... where is Jakob?"

"He wouldn't come," Azrael said.  "Too distressed by what he had done here... he didn't think it would be fitting to show up in person, but he is on standby as our backup, and he picked our little team himself."

James' fur stood on end as he made the connection between Jakob and the snow-leopard.  "Lord Page?"

[Zedd]

Nice chapter and interesting of James appearing as well

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Heh. I love the lesson.

And "Death, please." I see as being said in a chirpy tone of voice, completely devoid of any connection to reality... ;-]

[RobbieThe1st]

"I think it's time someone taught you a lesson," he said.  The collie assumed a defensive stance, as did his sidekick.

"Ohm's Law states that the current between two points of a conductor is in direct proportion to the potential difference between those two points..." Dorcan told him, delivering an uppercut to the collie's jaw.

"...and inversely proportional to the resistance of same.  This relationship is generally stated using the equation V equals I times R," he continued, delivering a swift kick to the cat's abdomen.

"...where V is the potential difference in Volts, I is the current in Amperes and R is the resistance in Ohms," Dorcan concluded, and punched the collie in the solar plexus.

"Now, I suggest you remember that, and remember it well, because if ever you cross my path again, it will come up in your test."

He left the two of them gasping for breath on the lawn.

ROFL. That was pure awesome.   

Keep up the good work!


-Robbie

[Tapewolf]

"I think it's time someone taught you a lesson," he said.

ROFL. That was pure awesome.   

I have Jairus and Ren to thank for that, though they probably don't know it:
http://clockworkmansion.com/forum/index.php/topic,4158.msg219736.html#msg219736

And "Death, please." I see as being said in a chirpy tone of voice, completely devoid of any connection to reality... ;-]

It is now.

[Jairus]

"I think it's time someone taught you a lesson," he said.

ROFL. That was pure awesome.   

I have Jairus and Ren to thank for that, though they probably don't know it:
http://clockworkmansion.com/forum/index.php/topic,4158.msg219736.html#msg219736

Well, I do know. Very cool.

[Gabi]

Hehe. Nice ending. And nice appearance of James too.

I've noticed I missed commenting on chapter 40. I was a bit surprised at how Salomere's issue was wrapped up. And I couldn't have expected any less of Kirian.

[James StarRunner]

"Awesome! Lord Page is back to rule! Huh? Wassat? You're a robot, you have no more powers? You don't even have peanut butter cookies?! We're DOOOMED!"

I hope Ha'Khun does get stable again, I really do.

[Gabi]

You've made me think, James... I wonder what because of my bag of infinite cookies at this point.

Oh, and you never did tell me whether your fluff liked the peanut butter.

[Tapewolf]

Keaton chose the title for this one.  And thanks also to James for help with the dialogue.



Chapter 42 - Apples

The mayor looked up.  There was a stranger at his desk, a grey fox.  With wings.

"Hello, Mr. Mayor," Daryil began.  "I think it's time we had a little chat."

"Guards!  Remove this idiot!" the wolf shouted.  Daryil smiled at him.

"Sshh," he said gently.  "They're asleep."

"Who are you?  What do you want?" the mayor asked, suddenly afraid.

"My name is Lord Daryil, and I am here to talk about my friends, Mr. and Mrs. Ja'Fell."  As the wolf watched, the intruder made an intricate gesture, and plucking a small file from thin air, began to buff his claws in an abstracted manner.

"As you are probably aware, Salomere Ja'Fell has recently been cleared of the crime which she was framed for, and will shortly be returning home," Daryil continued.  "It is my wish that her husband's parents, Mordrith and Julei, settle here in Kurnshire as well.  However, I felt it was only fair to inform you first."
The wolf's mouth opened slightly, but Daryil pressed on.

"I know what's you're about to say.  'Over my dead body' or something like that.  Well, I am going to try and change your mind.  Salomere is a peaceable sort, as is her husband.  Oh and by the way, he's an incubus himself, in case you haven't guessed.  They're not monsters, they're just people, that's all.  They just want to get on with their lives.  They work for a living, they pay their taxes.  They will even defend the town with their lives if it is attacked, just as they have done in the past.  If you ask nicely, I'm sure they would leave, albeit reluctantly.  What I'm here to warn you about is if you do anything reckless like attempting to have them killed.  Are those oranges?" he added, glancing at a bowl of fruit on the desk.

The mayor nodded, sweating.

"Are you sure?  They look like apples to me.  May I have one?" Daryil asked.  The mayor nodded again... he seemed to have great difficulty speaking.

"Thank you.  As I was saying, I'm going to be visiting at least once a week for the next fifty years or so," Daryil said, taking a deep bite out of his orange without peeling it.  "They will also have my number on speed-dial.  If I come by and find that they are being mistreated in any way, I will be very angry.  I'll leave you to guess what happens if I find them dead."

"I... I understand," the wolf croaked.

"I knew you would," Daryil said, placing the core of his 'apple' in the mayor's ash-tray.  He gave the wolf a small kiss on the cheek and then vanished.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, the mayor called up his assistant.  "Jones?  Something has come up.  I need you here ASAP."
As the mayor put down the phone, he glanced up and let out a piercing shriek.

"I... just remembered your guards are still asleep," Daryil said, staring at the floor with embarrassment.  "I won't take a minute."

* * *

Niall made his way purposefully through the corridors of the base, Wils following him.  As he approached the living quarters his step became softer and softer until he was padding as quietly as Wils.  He turned a corner, went in and suddenly pulled the cupboard open.  Keaton let out a squeak of alarm and tried to disappear, but Niall had a counterspell ready.

"You found her!" Kirian exclaimed.  "Now it's your turn to hide."

"Kirian, go and play with Wils for a moment," Niall told her.  "I'd like a private word with Keaton."

When they were alone, he sat on the floor, eyes level with Keaton who was still sitting cross-legged inside the cupboard.
"What's the game, Katherine?" he asked finally.  The succubus stared back at him for a few moments and then her expression crumbled.

"They've sent adventurers to kill me!" she bleated, her eyes wide and pathetic.

"Pull the other one," the fox told her.  "What you usually do with adventurers is kill them and rip their souls out, isn't it?"

"Okay, okay," she replied sourly.  "They're going to serve me with a summons.  Idiots with swords I can handle.  Lawyers?  No way."

"Well, if you will go around de-souling people...  Seriously.  Is it really so hard for you to realise that your actions have consequences?  You can't just swan around doing whatever you like.  Life simply doesn't work that way!"

Niall paused.  "Anyway, let's hear the worst.  What foul deed have you committed this time?"

"They found out about Ashford."

"Ashford... Ashford... He was your boss, wasn't he?  You impersonated him or something."

"He tried to kill me.  I stuffed his soul into the desk lamp."  Niall's face darkened.  "He was a bit of a nut," she added helpfully.

"I'm sure you provoked him.  Had it not been for you, Ashford would have, should have died at home years from now, surrounded by his loving family."

"You mean a multiple-murder suicide?" the jackal asked, her eyes shining.

"No, no, no, no, no." Niall buried his face.  "How can I make you understand?  Hiding here won't help.  You can't stay in a cupboard for the next fifty years or so."

"I can try..." she cut off as the incubus glared balefully at her.  "All right.  If you're so f___ing smart, what should I do?"

"Turn yourself in.  Tell the judge that you're really, really sorry and that it won't ever happen again.  If we can convince Daryil, he may be able to influence them to reduce your sentence.  The only other way I can think of to settle this mess is for you - armed with only a small pistol - to break into the evidence chamber like Linda Craft did in CheeseRaider and bring Ashford's soul to us so we can resurrect it.  The choice is yours."

* * *

Azrael stared back at James.  The barkeep and the few patrons left in the bar were staring at them.  At him.

"Lord Page?" a voice asked.  The speaker was a pale cream jaguar with feathered wings.  "You have returned to lead us into glory once more?"

"My return comes at a heavy price," Azrael said.  Sanderssen stiffened.

"Not for you," the Angel added hastily.  "I meant I had to pay a heavy price... most of my magic is lost.  And I have no designs to return to power... I'm just visiting."

"Oh," the feline said.  He sounded a bit put out.

"This is Arcuros," Sanderssen said.  "He's my aide."

You... really are Azrael?" James said, regaining his ability to speak. "Ha'Khun never had a better leader, they thrived when they had you! You and Jakob... How is it that both of you are alive?"

"I will explain later," Azrael promised, "But right now I need to discuss something with the councillor.  Should we move to a more private location for this?"

"Yes, indeed." Sanderssen replied.

"I'll speak with you later, if you're still here," Page told the squirrel.

"That won't be necessary," Arcuros said.  "Mr. StarRunner is working for us."

* * *

"First, I want to know one thing," James began, as they settled themselves into the spare room.  "How is it that you and apparently Jakob are not dead?"

"I would like to know this myself," Sanderssen agreed.  Azrael looked at the floor for a moment, as he tried to figure out how best to summarise.  How his hosts would react to the news was anyone's guess, only Ashley was liable to give him any hint or clue.

"Before I answer, I'd like to make it clear that my visit is unofficial," he said.  "I don't want the fact that I'm in Ha'Khun to become front-page news."

"Good point.  Arcuros?" Sanderssen gestured to the door.  "The barman and his patrons.  Can you ensure their silence?   I'll fill you in later."

"Yes, sir," the feline said and slipped out the door.

Graceful little fella, Sethir thought, lazily watching the cat go past when Azrael suddenly caught his eye.

"Seth?  Would you be so kind as to show the others the price we have paid?"

"Why me?" he grumbled.

"Because you're not wearing a shirt under that jacket."

There were a few puzzled expressions as Seth stood up, removed his jacket and hesitantly touched his ribcage.  A few moments later there was a hiss of surprise from the feline and James' wings had fluffed out.

"Joshua, Sethir and myself have all undergone this procedure," Azrael said.  "I can't speak for them, but losing my powers was a small price to pay that I might touch, see and feel things once more.  It is my hope that we'll have some form of magic in due course."

"It's a pain in the arse, but better than dying," Seth agreed, putting the jacket back on.  "And from what I understand, Joshua never had any powers to lose."

"Yeah, for me it's all plusses," Joshua said.  "I'll live indefinitely, I never need to eat or sleep and I don't tire.  I don't even need a watch to tell the time any more.  I do kind of miss eating and that, but I'd never want to go back to being an ordinary mortal."

"What about Jakob?" James asked.  "Was he... reborn in this manner?"

"No, his death was just a hoax," Ashley put in.  "But these bodies we designed, that was Jakob's idea.  Bringing Azrael back was of course, one of his main motivations, but beyond that it was his hope that it and the other prosthetics that we've designed would improve the quality of life - and death - for millions.  In some ways he is trying to make up for his behaviour in Ha'Khun."

"He's been alive all this time and never called?!" James fumed.  "Hanna and I went to his funeral thinking he was dead all this time!  I'm totally going to kick his butt when I see him next!  No cookies for him!"

There was a knock at the door.

"All done," Arcuros said, slipping back in.  "They were waiting outside to catch a glimpse of him, but I believe we have bought their silence.  What did I miss?"

"Azrael is a robot," Sanderssen said.  "Containing the soul of our former leader.  Apparently he is not the only one.  In fact, unless I missed something, Ashley is the only living member of this team."

The panther looked flustered for a moment, then his eyes narrowed.  Seth was closest.  "Do you mind if I...?" he asked, taking the wolf's wrist and feeling for a pulse.  There wasn't one, and the internal structure felt subtly wrong.

"Well, take my soul..." he said and wandered back to his chair.  Seth found his gaze following the panther, with a faint, lazy smile on his face.
Damn, he thought.  You know, that guy's got a really cute- the smile vanished to be replaced by a look of guilty horror.  Oh my gods.  I did NOT just think that!

"Are you okay there?" Joshua asked, looking at the wolf with some concern.

"I... don't feel quite right," Sethir admitted, staring at the floor.  "I'll be okay," he added hastily.  "It's nothing serious, but all the same..."  The wolf sighed and his eyes narrowed.  "I think I'm going to have to have a few words with Jakob's clan leader."

[Zedd]

Seems like a conflict is building up again


Great job as always!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

"I... just remembered your guards are still asleep," Daryil said, staring at the floor with embarrassment.  "I won't take a minute."

*rotfl*

"You found her!" Kirian exclaimed.  "Now it's your turn to hide."

more *rotfl*

armed with only a small pistol

Oh, yes. We get to see Keats doing Croft-style raiding. I can so see it...

Excellent storyline, Tapewolf. Much amusement. I needed a laugh...

Edit:

Oh, yes. Sethir "I need to have a talk" ;-]