DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title) - Jan. 27: Probably The End

[Caswin]

April 19, 2005: Miss Mab posts the topic 'Select your character...', heralding the drawing of what would be later known as 'Fighty Game', a picture displaying the more combat-oriented characters of DMFA, Mab's Land, and a few local forumites on the character selection screen of a fighting game.  The picture turns out to be a popular one, sparking a brief conversation about what would be in the game.

August 20, 2005: Slipdance creates the topic 'DMFA Fighter FAQ and Moves List,' wishing to put together an actual FAQ for the fictional game.  Many move lists ensue, albeit mostly of the posters' own characters rather than those shown.  The topic eventually dies.

Date unknown, late 2005: Can't stop thinking about the game.  Individual scenes start clicking.  Move ideas spring up of their own accord.  After mentally going through the convergence of Repteal, Mikelo and Anthicus for the hundredth time, it is concluded that they just won't stay confined to my brain anymore...

Late December, 2005: On a random burst of inspiration, the first draft of Anthicus' story is written freehand.

January 7, 2007: Done.  As done as it's going to get, anyway.

---

The original plan was for this to be a full-blown FAQ for a nonexistent game.  It may yet be, but I need to find someone other than Slipdance (he seems to have disappeared) to do it; fighting games aren't exactly my forte.

That, of course, begs the question of why I wrote these scripts and profiles in the first place.  Well, I saw the picture.  My muse called.  I'm sure you know the feeling.

And now this is happening.
I've attempted to write the story for a fighting game populated by someone else's characters – specifically, characters who have never appeared in a story before.  Yeah, that's right.  DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title) has no actual DMFA stories.  Maybe that's a good thing.

Hang on.  It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Disclaimer: I, unlike Amber, do not own any of the characters you are about to read about – although not for want of trying. (Let's call that a teaser.)
---
Updates:
January 21, 2006: llearch n'n'daCorna has informed me that I have a pile of words in my story as intimidating as any boss.  Here, have a table of contents.
---
Table of Contents

1. Introduction
I. YOU ARE HERE
II. Character profiles

2. The Out-of-Continuity Saga, part one
I. Fluffy's Story: Boot Camp

3. The Mab's Land Saga
I. Anthicus' Story: Sock Puppets
II. Repteal's Story: One of Those Days
III. Thorganthicus' Story: Let's Go to Work
IV. Mikelo's Story: Revelations

4. The Out-of-Continuity Saga, part two (Here there be spoilers)
I. Pai Gon's Story: Sibling Rivalry
II. Anyone's Story: Amber Turnover
III. Amber's Story

5. Afterthoughts
I. Blooper Reel

[Caswin]

Before we get to the plot, such as it is, let's start with the game itself.  It's mostly your standard Street Fighter-style fighting game, in which you pick a character and proceed to punch, kick, grab and throw the other character until his or her life meter hits zero, ideally avoiding the same fate yourself.

Naturally, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, as well as a variety of special moves (still none too well worked out), with at least one "super" move that becomes available whenever those things traditionally become available.  There is also a weapon system, but I'm not entirely sure how it works, only that they're a wild set of variables all their own...

And now, character stats.

Aaryanna
Strength: **1/2
Speed: ***1/2
Durability: **1/2
Dexterity: ***1/2
Agility: ****
Size: Average
Weapon: Tentacles
Special attacks:
-Toasty: Aaryanna eats a piece of toast, regaining some health; more of a taunt than anything else.

Newbies, beware.  Aaryanna makes for an intimidating opponent, hovering along the ground and unleashing a series of brutal-looking attacks, courtesy of those tentacles of hers.  She isn't as fast or deadly as you might be led to believe, however - her moves and movements are based largely on deception, and once you learn to look for them, she is revealed to be a less-than-stellar fighter beneath it all.  Arguably the Dan of the group.

Abel
Strength: ***1/2
Speed: ****
Durability: **1/2
Dexterity: **1/2
Agility: ***1/2
Size: Average
Weapon: Dagger
Special attacks:
Super: "With magic...": Abel takes out a multitude of swords and hits the opponent with each of them for major damage.

A lifetime of alternately being on the run and causing chaos that ultimately puts him on the run has given Abel superior footspeed, but once caught, a strong offensive will generally put him down.  Just make sure not to give him time to put together something big, or we could have another 'Library Incident' on our hands...

Anthicus
Strength: ***1/2
Speed: ***
Durability: ***1/2
Dexterity: ***
Agility: ***
Size: Average
Weapon: Jenny
Special attacks:
-Vine grab: Vines burst through the ground and hold the opponent in place.

Anthicus has average statistics all around the board, with slightly above-average durability that may be attributed to his floofy fur.  In combination with some simple yet effective plant-based abilities, this makes him a good character to get used to the game with.

Azlan
Strength: ***
Speed: ***1/2
Durability: ***
Dexterity: ***
Agility: ***1/2
Size: Average
Weapon: Sword
Special attacks:
-Squeaky Koala of Doom: Several quick hits.  Good for bugging human players.

Fear the squeaky koala of doom! Squeaky squeaky!  Maybe fear the fox holding the koala of doom while you're at it!  Azlan's abilities are well-rounded, with a slight edge in agility that complements his silly and slightly chaotic nature.  This, along with some simple moves, make him a common character for new players.

Dan
Strength: ***
Speed: **1/2
Durability: **
Dexterity: ****
Agility: ***1/2
Size: Average
Weapon: Sword
Special attacks:
-Pip Heads: Dan's tentacles go out of control and, true to form, start biting the opponent.  Individually, the attacks don't do much damage, but it's a powerful move if enough hits connect.  Has a chance of hurting Dan himself.

Not at all like his infamous fighting game namesake, Dan can hang with the best of them.  He might not always win against the best of them, but he can hang with them.  Years of adventuring mixed with years of DDR have made Dan a formidable opponent - anyone fighting him will want to use their head if they want to emerge victorious.

Fluffy
Strength: **
Speed: ****
Durability: **1/2
Dexterity: ****
Agility: ***1/2
Size: Small
Weapon: Mouse
Special attacks:
-Motivation: A solid strike from the "Wand of Motivation", Fluffy's baseball bat.

Fluffy is short, weak, fast, and overall an odd choice for a 'training mode' guide.  Thankfully, actually playing as her became optional late in production.  However unorthodox, though, Fluffy is easy enough to get the hang of; the preferred strategy is to approach the opponent's knees and continually "Motivate" them.

Jyrras
Strength: **
Speed: *****
Durability: **
Dexterity: ****
Agility: ***
Size: Small
Weapon: Battle armor
Special attacks:
-Anarchy Against the System: Glorified ankle-biting.
-"Mining" Cannon/"Farming" Cannon: Somehow, Jyrras brings one of his machines into play.  They do surprisingly little damage.
Super: Gryphon Mech: The Gryphon Mech leans down and does whatever it is Gryphon Mechs do.  It hurts.

Best known in the comic for his revolutionary inventions and confused love life, the first thing a gamer using him for the first time is likely to notice is: magical mother of Mows, but he's fast!  Yes, those really were my first words.  Roughly.  Jyrras is a quick little kangaroo rat, though most fighters can overpower him easily.  Just watch out for his 'little friend'...

Merlitz
Strength: ***1/2
Speed: ***1/2
Durability: ***
Dexterity: ***
Agility: ***
Size: Average
Weapon: Wand
Special attacks:
-Fire disc: Sends a fiery disc at the target.

True to character, straight-man Merlitz is statistically one of the most average people in the game.  All newbie-friendliness ends there, however.  His fiery special moves, though effective, are tricky to pull off, and it's tempting to just wade in and clobber people, which he is admittedly also good at.  But where's the fun in that?

Mikelo
Strength: ***
Speed: ***1/2
Durability: *****
Dexterity: **1/2
Agility: **
Size: Average
Weapon: Blades
Special attacks:
-Healing: Some life is recovered.
-Fire: Mikelo casts a fire spell.  Has a tendency to backfire.
Super: Shazarelamith's Embrace: Mikelo gets supercharged, giving him increased speed and strength (nicknamed "SSJ Mikelo" by fans).

The primary thing about Mikelo is this: he refuses to stay down.  Whatever comes his way, between his shell, healing spells, and even a special resistance to squeeze-based attacks (the result of being hugged by every other person he encounters), fights with him sometimes border on becoming endurance matches for the player.  On the flip side, his offense isn't too great, at least not until Shaz is brought into play.

Pai Gon
Strength: ***
Speed: **1/2
Durability: **1/2
Dexterity: ****1/2
Agility: ***1/2
Size: Average
Weapon: Star wand
Special attacks:
Super: "Rated PG": All attacks over a certain amount of damage become severely hampered in power.  Combos, however, remain okay.

You didn't violate the rating, did you?  You're in trouble.  Pai Gon doesn't beat around the bush, and has little in the way of elaborate special moves, preferring to simply hit her opponent with combinations until he or she drops.  Two hundred or so pounds of blunt trauma.

Pip
Strength: **
Speed: ****1/2
Durability: *1/2
Dexterity: ****
Agility: *****
Size: Small
Weapon: Teeth
Special attacks:
-Teleportation: Pip teleports somewhere else.

Kii!  Pip is a challenging character, both to play and to fight.  He flies around, attacks with maddening speed, and yet crumples like so much aluminum foil.  Only experienced players need apply.  The rest can only count on bite marks.

Repteal
Strength: **1/2
Speed: ***1/2
Durability: **
Dexterity: ****1/2
Agility: ***1/2
Size: Average
Weapon: DeathScythe
Special attacks:
-Coming Atcha: A quick rush with the DeathScythe.  Cool shadow image effects.
-Just Shoot It: 'nuff said.

Fast, dexterous, and in the hands of a skilled player, an absolute nightmare - that's Repteal.  She whittles down the hardiest of opponents with fluid movements and long-range attacks, and although it may take her a while, once she gets going, she can be very hard to stop.  One weakness: knock her out of the loop, and she almost snaps like a twig.  Good luck with that.

Thorganthicus
Strength: *****
Speed: *
Durability: ****
Dexterity: **1/2
Agility: *1/2
Size: Large
Weapon: Axe
Special attacks:
-Teleportation: Thorganthicus teleports somewhere.
-Lilithin Blitz: Lilithin flies out and performs a quick random attack.
Super: Dark Obelisk: A portal opens behind Thorganthicus, sending out a bunch of orbs.  Damage depends on how little life Thorganthicus has left.

Every fighting game needs a big, slow, strong guy. Enter Thorganthicus, axe-wielding demon with a wild-card imp for backup.  The commands to call her are complicated, but some Thorganthicus players essentially play as her.  Still, more likely, it'll be about keeping away and not getting squished.

---

Bosses to come as they pop up.  Next up: Plot! (Hide while you can.)

[Caswin]

Story Mode is told - in theory - with sorta-animated scenes reminiscent of the 1966 Marvel Superheroes show.  In the foreground, more detailed pictures of the characters chat with text boxes.  However, the scripts don't always reflect this too well.  My recommendation is to imagine it playing out however you like, be that animated, comic format, or some kind of live-action stage play featuring Nicholas Hammond as Anthicus.  You're weird.

One thing about DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title)'s plot mode: it doesn't just go in any order.  In an attempt to make sure the story makes some kind of sense, you have to play the way it tells you, unlocking one plot after another.  At first, all the cells are greyed out, save for one: Fluffy.  On selecting the puffball, all the others suddenly become available for...
---
DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title)

Story Mode: Fluffy (Optional, but used in this script)
"Boot Camp"

[Setting: Outside in what appears to be some sort of boot camp.  Already there is the cynical bi/quadrupedal ball of grey fur known as Fluffy in slightly oversized sunglasses as well as her bow.  She slaps a baseball bat – the "Wand of Motivation" – in one paw.]
Fluffy: Alright, let's move!
Don't just sit there looking confused!  Go go go!
[Snap to a nearby area, with a dummy of Amber's original mascot – a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-looking fellow – at one end.]

[Fluffy shouts instructions– in this case, how to move forward, back, and in range, attack]
[Fight: Dummy]
[The 'fight' is unsurprisingly easy.]

[With this first victory, back to where Sgt. Fluffy was shouting at the player.]
Fluffy: Alright!  I have just received word that you do not know the drill, I look stupid, and you're a confused little furre.
[Beat.  Zoom on Fluffy's face.]
I don't like looking stupid.
NEXT EXERCISE!!

[It's the same dummy, but with a mouse spinning around on a wheel of some sort.  Fluffy now gives lessons on blocking and, ultimately, striking safely when an opening is given.]
[Fight: Dummy II]
[Struck.]

[Again to Fluffy, looking somewhat subdued.]
Fluffy: Good job.
I have now received word that if I want to maintain this position and continue to rush people into deadlines, I should put that mouse way again, explain where I got that particular mouse, and...
[Pause.  Shifty eyes re just visible past the sunglasses.]
Anyway.  My name is Fluffy.
[She gestures to one side as she speaks.  Titles and examples – specifically, DMFA #189 and some Fluffy Funnies with Tuffi – appear as she says them.]
You my remember me hassling Amber behind the scenes of DMFA...
and getting into bizarre conflicts with Tuffi over in Fluffy Funnies...
except nobody remembers Fluffy Funnies.  Good for them.
And now, it is my job to turn you into a competent fighting machine.
So let's do this.  Next!

[The target is much more mobile – someone seems to be under it – and Fluffy explains jumping and jiving (not her exact words) to avoid attacks and catch shifty opponents.]
[Fight: Dummy III]
[Despite having an actual mind behind the wheel, the dummy is once again brought down.  Fluffy seems pleased.]

Fluffy: Alright, good work.
You're probably wondering by now, though - how much can that mockup of a mockery of Internet mascotry take?
[While she says this, she seems to recall something unpleasant, but with a conscious effort, cools down by the end.  However, she seems to steadily lose it over the next few lines, finally falling to over-the-top exuberance.]
Well, as a matter of fact, a lot.  I think it's his shell.
But invincible, Mr. Turtle is not!
Until now, we've covered the basics of combat, but...
...
LET'S RE-ENACT HISTORY!

[Fluffy's nuts.  Anyway, the player uses special attacks – the moves for which are conveniently available by pausing – to break the fully-mobile and now complete with life meter dummy to nothing.]
[Fight: Dummy IV]

[Cut back to Fluffy, a picture of composure.]
Fluffy: You heard nothing worth remembering.
We're just about done here.  You will forget everything but your training.
That said, you have one last test... me.

[But you ARE Fluffy and... uh... what?]
[Final Fight: Fluffy]
[Defeated, Fluffy seems confused, too.]

[Beat.  Her sunglasses fall off.]
Fluffy: ...who are you, and what have you done with me?
[Pan to include the other Fluffy, who seems to be desperately trying not to laugh, and soon failing as she(?) cracks up.  Back to probably-real Fluffy, still borderline catatonic.]
Fluffy: Did you change my voice?  My voice sounds different.
[Fluffy II runs away.  Fluffy just stands there.]
Fluffy: I sound like... uh... Tuffi...?
[She pauses, realizing something with irritation, and pushes her sunglasses most of the way back up.]
Fluffy: Amber...
[Suddenly, Fluffy acknowledges the player's existence again.]
Fluffy: If, on your journey, you should encounter Amber... well, I'll leave that up to you.
[Blows a whistle] Dismissed!

[Credits.]

[Final scene: Fullscreen Fluffy, looking peripherally at the viewer around her sunglasses.]

[Janus Whitefurr]

a) Slipdance is plagued with life and computer problems... especially the latter. Last I saw him was November-December last year, and I don't think he visits the forums anymore.

b) Keeping it to the strictly DMFA cast and not touching the forumites? Good boy. Goood boooy.

[Caswin]

Training is over.  Now the fun can really begin, as the first two characters from either story are colored in.  I don't have any DMFA material, so we'll skip to Anthicus.  This was the first one I wrote (Fluffy was written midway through the year, coming off of a high from the season finale of Who Wants to be a Superhero?), and I've made it flow a little better since.  That's right, get your hopes up...

Ah, almost forgot.  A warning precedes every foray into story mode.  It goes something like this:
-
WARNING

The plots you are about to see and play through are the work of a deranged and somewhat lazy mind.
Characters will be simplified.
Illogical things will happen.
Events may transpire differently due to their personal point of view.
Some of the characters are obscured from view just to avoid having to draw them any more than is necessary.

In short:

HERE THERE BE STRANGE WRITING.

But really, it's a fighting game.  What did you expect?
-
Indeed.
-
DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title)

Anthicus' Story:

"Sock Puppets"
---
[Open in an Academy classroom.  There's a lecture going on, delivered unenthusiastically by an anonymous professor.  Anthicus, in an act probably more befitting of Mikelo (this will happen a lot) looks in danger of falling asleep.]
Anthicus: Eurgh...
Unspecified Professor: But of course if the attack comes from a different angle, so of course must the response be different.
Back... and to the left.
Back... and to the left.
Back... and to the left.
Back... and to the left.
Anthicus (Concurrently): Zzzzzzz...
[Black as Anthicus succumbs to the boredom and falls asleep.  Beat.]
Professor: Anthicus?
Anthicus: ...'lo, Delna...
Professor: Anthicus!
[He snaps awake.  The professor is not pleased.]
Anthicus: Wha?
Professor: Indeed.  So, what made falling asleep seem like a good idea?
Anthicus: Ah, well, that's a long story, I was-
Professor: About to demonstrate what we just went over?
Anthicus: ...
Professor (Deliberately, with a hint of sadism): Oh, no need to worry.
So long as you can keep in mind what's been discussed, there should be no problem overcoming our little simulation.

[Without further ado (no, you don't even get a look at how it works)
[Fight: Azlan]
[Anthicus wins, of course.  The professor resumes being displeased.]

Professor: Well, how about that.
[Anthicus is already nodding off again.  He thinks for a moment.]
What do you say we call that a 'C'?
Anthicus: Zzzzzz...
[Black as he falls asleep again.  Cut to an Academy hallway.]
Anthicus: Well, that could've gone a lot better.
Boko: Really.  What happened?
Anthicus: Boko?  Uh, lemme see – fell asleep during class.
Boko: There's a surprise.
Anthicus: Professor woke me up, suddenly I'm fighting this crazy warrior simulation, and soon as I'm done, I drop right off again...
Boko (Unimpressed): Hmm. <<
Anthicus: And now, end of school, boom, I ran into you.
Boko: Ha... ha.
Anthicus: Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all next fifteen seconds.
Could be worse, I could run into him again...
Boko: If it matters, I passed the offending instructor about ten seconds ago.
He should be here...
[Anthicus vacates.  Boko smiles ever-so-slightly.]

[Cut to Outside.]
[We find our hero walking around, looking for something to do.]
Anthicus: Alright.  Got plenty of sleep in class, no more lapsing into unconsciousness, let's see what I can do with the rest of to... day...
[Enter Thorganthicus.]
Thorganthicus: Hello, Anthicus.
Anthicus: ...'lo.
[The area darkens.  Anthicus looks peripherally to the side, recognizing something.]
'Zone of Silence?'
[His eyes slide back towards Thorganthicus] Wait...
Thorganthicus (Deadpan): No.

[Well, it was worth a shot.]
[Fight: Thorganthicus]
[Anthicus wins.  Didn't see that coming.]

[Somehow, Thorganthicus is down on one knee, struggling to rise again.]
Repteal: ...similis l'tan necto mentus!*
Anthicus: Wh-
[A green flash covers the screen and quickly fades, to no obvious effect.]
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: ...
Thorganthicus: [Still strained] ...
Anthicus: What just happened?
Repteal: [Ignoring him] Odd... what could've...
[Slaps forehead] Of course.  Lillithin?
Lillithin: Yeah?
Repteal: [Gestures vaguely] His glasses.  Get... get his glasses.
Lilithin: Woosh!
[A brief struggle ensues as Anthicus tries to swat Lilithin away, keeping her at a distance until she eventually sets his tail on fire.  As he puts it out, she successfully snatches the prize and flies away.]
Repteal: Hey, Anthicus.  Look over here. [He does.  Another green flash; fade to black.]

[Sudden snap back to the Academy.  Anthicus is in bed, Boko next to him.]

Boko (Uncharacteristically warm): Welcome back, Anthers.
Anthicus: Boko?
Boko: Shh.  Just relax.
Anthicus: Alright... okay.  Relaxed.  What happened to Repteal and-
Boko: All taken care of, no need to worry.
Why don't you get some more sleep?
Anthicus: More...?
[Rolls eyes] Oh.  Ha ha.  Fell asleep in class.  You got me.
Seriously, how long was I out for?
Boko: Later.  Right now it would be nice if you could be out just a little longer, 'kay?
Anthicus: Oh, really?
[Boko gives a strained strained-looking grin.  Some tiny beads of sweat form, never mind that as a Nictarl this probably shouldn't happen.]
Boko: Really.  Nighty-night.
Anthicus (Skeptical): Yeah, another thing, why are you-
[Enter Pip.]
Boko: Eek!
Anthicus (Utter bafflement): Pip?
Pip: Grrrr...
Boko (Arms flung up): Help me Anthiceus! (Sic)
Pip: KIIII!

[He has no choice but to...]
[Fight: Pip]
[Anthicus stands victorious, but wary as Boko glomps him, not coming up very high.]

Boko: Yay!  You're the best!
Anthicus (Unimpressed): See now, that's the response I might expect...
From anybody but you.
Boko (Big sappy Nictarl-eyes): What do you mean?
Anthicus (Faltering): I... I mean that you... you're not...
Boko (Tearing up): Is there something wrong with me?
[The background, as though viewed through Boko's eyes, blurs slightly.]
Anthicus: Huh?  Wha?  Zuvva...
(Shaky resolve) No!  You-you're not real!
Boko: I'm not?
[Anthicus closes his eyes, touching one hand to a temple, struggling to get a grip, backing off until Boko is just out of the frame.]
Anthicus: Boko is not supposed to be this emotional.  She's not this cheery, sad, or naïve.  Ever.
[His eyelids part slightly.  Boko is visible again, lower lip trembling.  She has attained, perhaps literally, mind-bending cuteness; various objects in the background tilt off-balance accordingly.]
Boko: Anthicus...
Anthicus: [He opens his eyes completely.  Beat.] Go.  Away.
[Akin a program suddenly glitching and repeating, 'Boko' seems to struggle to respond – extended attempts at what appear to be "but", "no", "Anthicus" and possibly a little "goodbye" near the end.  Her face stays the same.  If nothing else, it's rather unsettling.]
[Everything skews wildly – black.]

[After a moment, Anthicus wakes up, alone in a dark void.]
Anthicus: That was... easily the third-strangest thing ever.
?: Really.  Only the third?
It must be an interesting life you lead.
Anthicus: Oh, you don't know the half of it.
One time a... hold it.
?: No, no, go on, I'm listening.
Anthicus: And I'm sick of this.  No more games.  Who are you?
?: Really, now.  Why...
I'm you.
[The speaker fades in from the darkness – Anthicus, but for the detail of a small evil grin.]
Anthicus: Okay, I know you're not real.
?: Aren't I?
Well, I suppose not... then again...
Anthicus: Quiet.  I said no more games and I meant it.
Now – who, other than me, are you?
? (Pacing to one side): Don't think I'll say – save that I am more real than you think.
Anthicus: [Eyes narrow, following him] ...Repteal?
?: Hm, not quite.  Not bad, though.
Anthicus: That flash... cast a spell... I'm...
[He trails off, mumbling.  His doppelganger stops, facing him, looking caught off-guard but regaining his composure.]
?: Ah, figuring it out already?
That's right, Anthicus.  You've been under external control for some time now.
I'm just a manifestation of the spell in question – [Bows mockingly] at your service.
[Sighs] I suppose this little confrontation had to happen sooner or later.
Oh, well, it's not like you can change anything.
Anthicus (Suddenly scared): ...how long?
?: [His eyes glow green.] Oh, long enough.
[An expansive grin forms on his face, contrasting Anthicus' growing scowl.]
Care to know what you've been up to?

[The ensuing fight is noteworthy in that there is no background or music – just Anthicus fighting a seemingly hopeless battle against, essentially, himself.]
[Fight: Anthicus]
[Perhaps not so hopeless.  He seems at a momentary advantage.]

?: Argh... not bad.
But futile.  After all, you said it yourself – I'm not real.
[Ponders] Yet neither, supposedly, was that Boko girl.
Anthicus: ...
?: You virtually ripped her heart out.
Anthicus: Quiet.
?: Oh, don't like thinking about it?
(Recovering) Supposing that really was Boko?  What then?
Anthicus (Frustrated): It's a moot point and you know it.  She wasn't, she's not that emotional, and...
[Realizes] You're stalling.
? (Raising an eyebrow): For what?  It's not as if you can do anything.
Anthicus (Smug): I think I can.
? (Bristling): And I know you're wrong.
[Beckons] Go ahead, try again.  I'm not real; you said it yourself.
[Anthicus raises an eyebrow.  It's his turn to start pacing.]
Anthicus: So how do you expect to stop me?
?: Well, maybe I'm not really here –
[The background – it didn't seem possible – fades to pitch black as he steps forward with a scowl on his face.]
But... I can assure you that I'm more than real enough to guarantee that you never see the light of day again.
[Anthicus stops, dread apparent on his face.  He's finally realizing just how badly the odds are stacked against him.  Nonetheless, he holds his ground as his opponent approaches him.]
I'm sure you remember how you got into this awful mess?
[Suddenly, he snatches Anthicus' glasses – something that would probably be impossible anywhere else – and breaks them in his palm, regaining his composure.]
Basically, your mind was forfeit with your glasses.
[He lets them crumble to whatever passes for a floor here.  Little magical sparkles drop from the shards.]
And it looks like this isn't going to be much different.
Anthicus (Disbelief, eyes slightly wide): You... broke my glasses.
?: [Looks up] Well-spotted.  Bravo.  Give the man a hand.
Anthicus: You broke my glasses.
?: [No words.  Just Anthicus' dread seemingly moving on to him at what he's unleashed.]
Anthicus: YOU BROKE MY GLASSES!
[He tackles his adversary to the ground, pinning him, forearm over his neck.  The background begins lightening slightly in the wake of this wave of emotion.  The clone glares right back at him... panicking?]
?: That's not all I'll be breaking.
(Oh, yeah – panicking, and beginning to laugh hysterically as he speaks) Did you really think that would be it?
So I'm not real.  As of now, neither are you.
(Phasing out) Say goodbye, Anthicus!!

[Reality breaks.  Again.  This time, everything cracks, and then shatters, the sound echoing, just as we also hear a chirpy spell noise.  Everything's a white void...]

Repteal: So, any more objections?  ...  Of course not.

[Fade in to Repteal's dungeon.  Repteal, in an image any Mabsland fan has come to be familiar with, has Mikelo chained to a wall.  She smiles.]

Repteal: Well, then – looks like I have you all to myself...
[Still smiling in spite of various injuries, she brings back what appears to be the Deathscythe in whip form – and just before she can strike, her wrist is caught by Anthicus, with every bit as much anger as her mind control thing.]
Anthicus: Think again.

[Final Fight: Repteal]

[Beat.  Mikelo is understandably jarred.
Mikelo: Are you okay?
Anthicus (Cooling down): Yeah... yeah, I think so.  You?
[He gets to work on the chains.]
Mikelo: I guess.  I've been better.
Anthicus: Heh.  I'll be alright as long as I can finally stay conscious for more than

[He is abruptly cut short by a red, screen-covering flash, followed by black.]

[Credits.]

[Final image: A short distance away from Anthicus and Mikelo, Repteal slumping against a wall, Deathscythe in hand and shooting the darkest glare she can muster in Anthicus' direction...]
-
*Translates VERY roughly to "sounds like Latin seize the mind" according to a few online dictionaries.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

isn't it supposed to be "back.. and to the left" ?

[Caswin]

isn't it supposed to be "back.. and to the left" ?

...yes!  Thank you!

You gets free cookie for that.  Not to mention getting it in the first place.

I guess that'll teach me to go by shaky memory of an episode of The Critic.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

nyomnyomnyomnyomnyom.

:-)

[Arcalane]

b) Keeping it to the strictly DMFA cast and not touching the forumites? Good boy. Goood boooy.

A minefield nobody wants to walk, I think.

[Caswin]

Ever have one of those days?  A day where everything seems to go wrong, often in incoherent ways due to things you did for no clear reason?  Fairly ye be warned, if there's any part of this game that seriously suffered from illogical storytelling to move the plot forward and get another fight in,  this is it.  Skimming is totally understandable. You'd almost think I meant to do it...[/subtle]

Therefore, let me just distract you all with something I found using my new favorite toy, Internet Archive.

Heartless psychopathic monsters were never meant to look this cute.
---
DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title):
Repteal's Story: "One of Those Days..."
---
[Trans-dimensional segue into Repteal's lair.  She tumbles out of a portal, sounds of gunfire behind her.]

Repteal (Massaging forehead): Ugh.
Thorganthicus: Picked a fight with a demon again?
Repteal: Heavily-armed angry panda.  Please remind me never to go to that dimension again.
Thorganthicus (Amused): Duly noted.
[Pause]
Repteal: Why were you even standing there?
Thorganthicus: I was rather anxious to move on with that operation you've been planning for so long.  But if you feel that you need to rest...
Repteal (Miffed): I suppose you've been prepared and raring to go for the last hour?
Thorganthicus (Wrong-footed, trying to look nonchalant): Oh, I wouldn't say an hour...
Lillithin (Oblivious bliss): Yeah, he's been all busy with-[She is cut off as Thorganthicus all but covers her in his fist.]
Repteal (Eyebrow raised): Hm?
Thorganthicus: I've been preparing.  This isn't something we want to go awry.
Repteal (Eyes narrowed): No.  No, it's not.

[Setting: Outside]

Lillithin: Is the target in sight now?
Thorganthicus: No, the target wasn't in sight twenty seconds ago and it's not in sight now.
Repteal (Thinking): Why did we bring her again?
Lilithin: How 'bout now?
Thorganthicus: Yes, Lilithin.  The target is in sight now.
Lilithin: Aw, you're just saying that to make me stop, aren't you?
Thorganthicus: Actually, if I'm not mistaken - that's him.
Repteal (Looking through Deathscythe, currently a pair of binoculars): All alone, too.  And I thought this might be a challenge.
Lilithin: Alright – what do I do, again?
Thorganthicus: We are to occupy him and magically cut off the immediate area from view so that Repteal can do her thing.
Lilithin: Ooh, distraction.  Will do!
[They leave.  Repteal begins working on a spell of some kind.  Cut to the fray, where Anthicus, doing surprisingly well, sees Repteal, just as she finishes her spell.  Not missing a beat, she lets fly with a green flash, which doesn't seem to do anything but confuse him slightly.]
Anthicus: [Blinks] ...
[He gets ready to move; whether to strike or retreat is unclear.  Repteal doesn't give him time to choose.]
Repteal: Oh, no you don't.

[Fight: Anthicus]

Anthicus: What do you want, already?
Repteal (Ignoring him): Now, why did that...?
[Slaps forehead] Right...  Lillithin!
Lillithin: Yeah?
Repteal (Gesturing vaguely): His glasses.  Get- get his glasses. [She begins muttering something again.]
Lilithin: Woosh!
[A brief fight ensues as Anthicus tries to swat Lilithin away, keeping her at a distance until she sets his tail on fire.  As he puts it out, she successfully snatches the prize.]
Anthicus: Aw, no – you're not – get away from – gah.
Repteal: Anthicus?
Anthicus: [Looks, distrustful] What?
[The spell done, she wordlessly 'blasts' him.  Anthicus looks stunned, then straightens, eyes glowing green.]
Anthicus: What is your command, Reps?
Repteal (Unamused): Not to call me that again.
[Rolls eyes, muttering] Karvis Dan...
[Lillithin snickers.]
Anthicus: Understood.  Anything else?
Repteal: Well, now that you mention it – Thorganthicus.  Is the cloak still going?
Thorganthicus (Looking): It's starting to wear.  Shall I renew it?
Repteal: Please.
[Vwoomp.  We don't hear any more for a while.]
Repteal: ...further orders.  Understood?
Anthicus: Aye.  This should be fun. [Exits]
Repteal (Mildly surprised): I think I like him this way.

[Setting: Different-Looking Outside]

Lillithin: So that was one of your spells?
Repteal (Messing with Anthicus' glasses on her face): It's a personal favorite.
He's extremely suggestible now, and he'll stop at nothing to do whatever I tell him.
Thorganthicus (Thoughtful): And we can be sure he'll stay like this?
Repteal: As far as he's concerned, he's off in his own little world saving his girlfriend from a dragon, something along those lines.
Thorganthicus (A little more thoughtful): Hmmm.
Lilithin (Spoofing Thorganthicus' look): Hrmmm.
[Pip zips by in the background.  Repteal stops, glaring at him as he passes.  Although exactly what is unclear, some kind of unfinished business is evident.  She turns off Anthicus' glasses.]
Repteal: Hm.  Keep going, I'll catch up.
Thorganthicus (Utterly lost in thought): Ok.
Lilithin (Asleep): Zzzzz...
[Exit Repteal.]

[Setting: Dimensional Gate.  It's fairly large, swirly, bordered by stone, and overall not at all like the Stargate.]

[Pip hovers in front while Repteal watches from a concealed location.]
Pip: Kiii? [He looks back and forth.] Ki. [He leaves through the gate.]
Repteal: [Steps curiously into the open] A dimensional gate... and a new one, too?
[Thinks, muttering unenthusiastically] Dare I enter?
Well, it's not like I have anything else really pressing right now.
[She focuses on the portal a moment longer before shrugging] Nothing ventured...
[She enters, and...]

[Setting: Box.  Slats of light show through, partially illuminating her.]

[Walking forward, before she can stop, she hits her nose against the wood.]
Repteal: ...
Owwwww...
[The wood makes a noise; one would swear it was snickering.  Restraining herself, she cuts something with the DeathScythe and gets the door open.]

[Setting: SAIA storage facility]

Repteal (Rubbing nose): This will never be spoken of again.
[Looks up] So where is this, exactly?
[Suddenly, the Deathscythe begins to shake in her hand.]
Repteal: Oh, really... I thought I... well, you had all the...
[Shrugs] Lead the way, DS.

[Repteal quickly autopilots her way to what she's looking for.]

[Setting: Different SAIA storage facility]

Repteal (Thinking): Strange new dimension, still sneaking through a magical academy.
Hardly have to think about it.
But an introspective can wait.  Somewhere around here...
[She raises the Deathscythe, looks around, and as though it was a divining rod, she finds her way to a small box.  But before she can take or open it, a random Warp-Aci teleports in.]
Warp-Aci: Delivery! ^^ [Teleports the box away]
Repteal: Where did you just send that?
Warp-Aci (Scared): Oh!  Er, uh, down a few floors, we're moving stuff down there, and...
Repteal (Facepalm): [Sighs] Probably the same room, too.  Why not.
Warp-Aci: Uh, if that's all, then I'll just be going, I-I guess...
Repteal: You certainly will.
[Suddenly, she pins the Warp-Aci to the wall with the Scythe, so that the blade surrounds it completely.]
Mind bringing me along?
Warp-Aci: EEP! [Teleports]
Repteal: ... [Blinks]
Just a paragon of clear thinking today, aren't I?
[She vanishes into the clutter as the Warp-Aci returns with an unidentified 'cubus in tow.]
W: S-she was here, and-and really scary, and I'm gonna get more help!

[She does so until there are five searching at once, many conveniently wearing hats or tentacle-concealing garments of some kind.  They're none too enthusiastic – one gets the impression that this Warp-Aci has a history of overreaction.  All the same, the pressure on Repteal is building fast as she shifts silently from hiding place to hiding place, acting on instinct, edging toward the door.  She's just about there, all the 'cubi gathered at the other end of the room, when...]

Repteal (Thinking, relieved): Crisis averted.

[Every head in the room snaps simultaneously toward Repteal, readying herself to move.  All who have them bring out the tentacles, cuing Repteal to flip through the door.  She's sprinting through the halls, tentacles striking the wall she was just in front of, as realization dawns.]

Repteal (Still thinking): 'Cubi!  Why did it have to be 'cubi?!

[The chase continues for a while until, somehow or other, she escapes the group – SAIA's architecture proves helpfully crazy – bringing her conveniently near her goal.  Two doors on opposite sides of the hall are visible.  She pants, getting her bearings for a moment, as a set of familiar-looking purple tentacles begins appearing behind her... no dice.  Repteal dodges backwards as Aaryanna emerges from a nearby room.]

Aaryanna (A bit amused, a bit displeased): I thought I might find you here.
Repteal: Let me guess.  You actually asked that thing what happened and it led you here?
I was wondering when somebody would get around to that.
Aaryanna (More amused now): Indeed.  Well, I'm sure you understand that I can't let you leave.
Repteal (Serious – well, mostly serious): And you realize I can't let you stop me.
Aaryanna: I suppose this means we'll be fighting now.
A pity, really.  You seem like my kind of person.
Repteal: The feeling's mutual.
[Brandishes Deathscythe] To the death?
Aaryanna: [Whips out tentacles] To the pain?
Repteal: We'll see.

[Fight: Aaryanna]

Aaryanna (Lying on the ground, in shock): ...

[Before Repteal can say something to complete the moment, she hears footsteps.  The rest have caught up.  Again acting mechanically, she gestures, darkening the immediate area.  Cut to outside the darkness, where Repteal is visible anyway running into the room Aaryanna sprang from.  Back to where Repteal was standing as the real Repteal runs into the portal room – and sees the portal hovering there, no longer hidden at all.
Her shock lasts only a moment.  She looks quickly around for another way out.  Outside, the group is already looking unsure and doubling back.  No time for a plan B.  She makes a jump for it...]

[Setting: Dimensional Gate]

[Repteal lands on the ground.  Still trying not to miss a beat, she gets up a little slowly – at her best, she ain't.  Suddenly, in mid-rise, her eyes widen.  Brief flashback to a couple moments ago, everything monochrome but something in that other room...]

Repteal: [Pounds ground] It was there!
[Clenches grass] It was there, I missed it...
[Lets go] And it probably still is.
[Resumes getting up] Alright – stop, regroup, and... okay, not such a bad situation.
[Fully on her feet] Can't say the same for anybody else.
[Pip suddenly jumps into the side of the frame.  If Repteal ever had a priceless look on her face, it's now.]
Pip: KI!!

[Fight: Pip]

Pip (Eyes closed, shaking head, stunned but not out): Grrr...
[He opens his eyes.  Repteal is gone.]

[Setting: Generic Valley]

[Repteal, likely to her eternal shame, is running away.]
Repteal (Fatigue getting to her, she stops, panting): Gah.  This... is not going as planned.
Fine, it's not like everything goes to plan anyway, but-
[Enter Anthicus.  Yep, eyes still glowing, but he seems a bit distracted.]
You?  What are you doing here?
Anthicus: [Pauses in genuine uncertainty] I don't know.
Repteal: Okay... who told you to come here?
Anthicus: Good question.  Not sure.
Repteal: Uh-huh.  Any chance of your getting out of my way?
Anthicus: ...oh, right, that's why.
None shall pass!
[Anthicus proceeds to block every attempt to get by.  This could get ugly.]

[Fight: Anthicus]

[Repteal looks at him, and slaps her forehead.]
Repteal: Anthicus, this is a direct order spoken in the imperative form.
Get out of my way.  There is a clearing in that direction.  Subdue Pip.  Bring him back.
Anthicus: [The text box appears, but before he can say anything-]
Repteal: Right.  Go.
[Anthicus, as he must, goes.  She resumes running a few paces, then trips.  This could take a while.]

[Setting: Repteal's Lair]

Repteal: [Slumps against a wall, exhales] Get it together.  There's still plenty to be salvaged here.
Although I'll admit that could prove difficult, given the state I'm in...
[A small smile plays across her face] So I'm a tense, nervous wreck.
There are ways around that, aren't there?
[Forebodingly, at an implied mental command, the Deathscythe twists into what may be the scariest-looking whip ever.]

[Setting: A Different Part of Repteal's Lair]

[She moves somewhere else, going for a door, and is faced with Thorganthicus & Lilithin.  Neither are in particularly good shape, themselves.]
Lilithin (Slightly surprised): It's Repteal.
Thorganthicus (Impassive): Indeed.
Repteal (Eyebrow raised, trying to hide apprehension with marginal success): Just on my way through...
Don't mind me.  Please.
Thorganthicus: If you intend to do what we think you do, I'm afraid we may have to.
Repteal (The facade is weakening; she's definitely nervous now): Will you, now.  And why might that be?
You've never been one to care, and I can't exactly see Lillithin putting you up to this.
Well, I can see her trying, but...
[The concept is just too much for her in the state she's in.  She breaks down snickering.  Lillithin, for once, doesn't share her mirth.]
Thorganthicus: [Half-smiles] While that is an amusing mental image...
[Smile gone] No, Repteal, this is far bigger than any of us.
Repteal: Is it?  I don't suppose you could share any details, could you?
Lilithin: Well–[Thorganthicus glares at her.  She shuts up.]
Thorganthicus (Looking back at Repteal): That we cannot.  Trust me when I say that you'd do well to turn back for the moment.
Repteal: Let's say I don't.  Who's going to stop me?  You?
Thorganthicus (In a rather intimidating battle stance): Indeed.
[Repteal pauses.  That's not the answer she was hoping for.]
Repteal: ...
[She reluctantly turns around to go, evidently thinking Thorganthicus to be more than she can handle at the moment – then in one fluid movement, spins around to strike.  Thorganthicus doesn't flinch.]

[Final fight: Thorganthicus]

[Aaryanna didn't flinch, either.  Thorganthicus falls, unconscious, beaten up, but not in as bad shape as Aary.  Repteal gives him a derisive look, panting.]
Repteal: Some people just don't know when to quit.
[She takes her eyes off her opponent.] I should know.  I'm one of them.
Ah, well – to business.

[Setting: A More Different Part of Repteal's Lair]

[Anthicus comes onto the scene.  Well, sort of.  Repteal – looking just a little better, with a few small bandages – stumbles across him, still-green eyes showing first against the darkness.  He's holding a familiar-looking drake.]
Repteal: That was fast.
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: [Sighs] Okay, how'd you beat me here?
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: Fell into a portal and wound up in the right place?  Trust me, I can relate.
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: Gah.  I never did ask, what was going on back there?
Anthicus: ...
Repteal (A sudden irrational outburst, brandishing Deathscythe): Talk already!
[She strikes the Deathscythe-whip, drawing some blood.  Still no response.]
...yeah, you're right, I need a break.
Why don't you stay at the door - I'd rather no one bother me.
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: ... [With a deadpan look, she hefts up Anthicus, flexibly uses her foot to open and kick wide a door, enters, closes the door with her tail, and props him somewhat comically-lookingly against it.  This accomplished, she turns, and there, chained to the wall, in an image familiar to any Mabslander, is Mikelo, looking in horror.]
Repteal (Wearily triumphant): I trust there will be no further objections?
Mikelo: I-
Repteal: [Grabs his mouth, cutting him off; it looks painful] No, of course not.
Incidentally, don't get any ideas about trying to set my hair on fire or something.  These chains have that all taken care of.
[Lets go; Mikelo remains struck dumb] However, healing yourself is encouraged.  It gives me more to work with, you know?
[Sighs] I've been waiting for this for some time now, you know.
I could go into why – a long tangent about desire, the mystifying workings of one's own mind, and of course you...
[Her face abruptly flatlines] But right now, I could hardly care less about that
I'm feeling stressed, I've got some stuff to work through, and more than anything else, I'd really just like to let off a little steam.
[Fiddles with the Deathscythe a bit before turning with a twisted smile and a demented gleam in her eye – features the Scythe seems to match] I'm sure you'll understand.

[And with this, she advances toward him as the scene fades to black.]
[Credits.]
[Final scene: Repteal making her move, Mikelo clearly straining with everything he's got.  However, oddly, the chains have visible slack to them.  Close study will reveal a subtle hand gesture, little distortions leading from there to Anthicus, his eyes no longer glowing, face showing recognition of the scene before him...]

[Caswin]

Since there could be trouble posting this tomorrow morning - long weekend's over and all - this one's going up tonight.  No, I don't know how it got so long, and yes, I am fully aware that I pretty much fail at dramatic narration.  In retrospect, I may have been watching too much Ghost Whisperer at the time - although I'm not sure whether I'd even been introduced to it by then.

Draw your own conclusions, speculate as to the mysterious background and the trustworthiness of the narrators (I can dream), and enjoy the slightly-more-logical break from Repteal.  Lesser of two evils, indeed...

---

DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title):
Thorganthicus' story: "Let's Go to Work."

[Open on a black backdrop.  Thorganthicus narrates from the side.]
Thorganthicus: My name is Thorganthicus.  This, at least in part, is my story.
A long series of events, plans and contrivances brought me to the home of Repteal – some might call it her lair.
What came before is unimportant; what transpired there is another matter.
[Fade into a more defined hallway, presumably in Repteal's lair.  Thorganthicus is kneeling in front of somebody offscreen who seems to be emanating darkness.]
?: You understand, then, what you are to do upon her return?
Thorganthicus: [Nods] And I will not fail you.
?: For your own sake, you should hope not.
However, I would worry less about your own failure and more about your... friend.
Thorganthicus: It would certainly not be the first time – but I will see to it that she does not ruin anything.
?: Do.  Better they both be kept in the dark as long as possible, just like anyone else.
Now, go.
[The darkness recedes.  Thorganthicus rises as Lillithin flutters in, carrying a muffin in both arms.  She looks uncharacteristically frustrated.]
Lillithin: Thorganthicus, you didn't eat every muffin in the house and then hide the only remaining one in an obscure corner of a different room before sending me to find you a muffin so you could keep me distracted while you talked alone to that strange shadowy person you never tell me anything about, did you?
Thorganthicus: No.
Lillithin (Again blissful): Okay, just wondering. ^.^ [She hands him the muffin.]
So... Repteal's probably going to be back soon, right?
Thorganthicus: Most likely.
Lillithin: Alright, see ya there! [Zips off.]
[Thorganthicus starts to follow her, raising the muffin to his mouth, then looks at it with sudden distaste before throwing it over his shoulder, silently mouthing 'bleah'.]

[Setting: Repteal's Lair, portal room]

[The duo is seen standing in the vicinity of a complex-looking portal linking to knows where.  Judging by Lillithin's tiny chair, it's been a while.  Repteal tumbles out, landing on her feet and looking frazzled.]
Repteal (Massaging forehead): Ugh.
Thorganthicus: Picked a fight with a demon again?
Repteal: Crazy panda.  Please remind me never to go to that dimension again.
Thorganthicus (Amused): Duly noted. [Pause]
Repteal: Why were you even standing there?
Thorganthicus: I was rather anxious to move on with that operation you've been planning for so long.  But if you feel that you need to rest...
Repteal (Miffed): I suppose you've been raring to go and prepared for the last hour?
Thorganthicus (A bit wrong-footed, still trying to look nonchalant): Oh, I wouldn't say an hour.
Lillithin (Oblivious bliss): Yeah, he's been all busy with–[She is cut off as Thorganthicus all but covers her in his fist.]
Repteal (Eyebrow raised): Hm?
Thorganthicus: [Lets Lil go] Planning.  This isn't something we want to go awry.
Repteal (Eyes narrowed): No.  No, it's not.
[Paces] Which is why, last I checked, the plan was to wait some time yet.
Why do you seem so worked up about this, anyway?
Lilithin (Nervous): Well, we've just been kind of, you know, waiting for something to do... you know?
Repteal: Try settling accounts with a diehard rating enforcer sometime.  You'll be occupied enough, trust me.
But that's another headache.  This, I don't see much reason to hurry over.
Thorganthicus: How about this – the target won't be around much longer.
Repteal (Eyebrow raised): How so?
[Thorganthicus nods with some reluctance to Lilithin]
Lilithin: Not sure.  I think he's being transferred or something.
Repteal: [Pauses] That might be a reason to hurry.
Then again, I imagine it'll be a while before he goes anywhere?
Thorganthicus: A week, at most.  But you know how he gets around.
Repteal (Truly and utterly indecisive): Point.  And yet...
Hm.  Didn't we have a sparring match planned soon?
Thorganthicus (Cautious): That we did.
[He shoots a peripheral look at Lillithin.  She looks a bit confused but stays silent.]
Repteal: Sounds like a good way to determine our next course.
Lilithin: Alrighty!
[Repteal just smiles confidently.]

[Fight: Repteal]

[Repteal trips over something unseen and falls, stunned.  Shaking her head, she looks where she fell and sees Lillithin's chair.]
Repteal (Looking up, frustrated): That was a fluke and you and I both know it.
[She gets up quickly, showing no apparent signs of injury or fatigue, and sighs]
Buuut... a deal's a deal, I suppose.
[She stretches for a moment, then twirls the Deathscythe with a flourish.]
Whenever you're ready, Thorganthicus.
[Exit all.  Repteal still looks suspicious, leaving last.]

[Fade to black.  Lillithin has taken Thorganthicus' spot as narrator.]

Lillithin: My name is Lillithin.  I'm in this story, too.
So we're walking along with Repteal to help her with that one thing-
But little does she know, we're also in the service of... [Pauses]
[Smiles] Anyway, I think you probably know what happens here.
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah they fight.
[As she blahs her way through an event already covered from two different viewpoints, a flurry of images summarizing the attack on Anthicus flashes by.  It seems pretty accurate, although it's anyone's guess what Suzi-Ko is doing there.]

[Fight: Anthicus]

[The images continue to come fast and slightly off.]
Lillithin: And then Repteal's like "Zing!" and he's like "Huh?"
And then I fly in, and yoink his glasses away, and...
[Pause.  Lil's brain seems to have hit a brick wall.  Her face droops.  Against all odds – certainly for just having stolen someone's glasses – she looks away from the camera, seeming guilty.] ...and... yeah.
[The visual narration leaves Imp-o-Vision as Anthicus leaves.]

[Setting: Outside]

[Normality takes control again, rejoining the group leaving the scene.  Their Lillithin, incidentally, is doing just fine.]
Repteal: ...extremely suggestible, and will do anything I tell him.
Thorganthicus: Hmm...
Lillithin (Spoofing Thorganthicus): Hmmmm...
[Pip zips through the background.  Repteal follows, as we saw in her story.  Thorganthicus seems lost in thought, but Lillithin is curious.]
Lilithin: I'm going to go follow Repteal unsupervised, okay?
[Thorganthicus looks sideways at her, evidently not nearly so out of touch as he would have Repteal think.]
Thorganthicus: Do that.  Find out what she's doing, and come back here.
[Lilithin is thrown momentarily off-balance by this and blinks for a second.]
Lillithin: Woohoo! [She starts to leave.  Thorganthicus catches one of her wings.]
Thorganthicus: Don't let her see you.
Lilithin (Face drooping, though not quite to the earlier degree): Aw, you're no fun.
[Thorganthicus just looks at her.] Right, okay. [She flutters away at a more sober pace, then suddenly fwips out of view, invisible.]

[Setting: Dimensional Gate]

[Hiding behind a tree, Lillithin resumes visibility, in her element here.  Repteal's words aren't quite so audible at this distance, but some exaggeratedly dramatic gestures tell the story just fine.  Our impish friend watches with growing curiosity as her target enters.  She processes this event, hopping down, and starts to go back to Thorganthicus – then, without missing a beat, turns right around and pokes her head through the portal...]

[Setting: Outside]

[Thorganthicus suddenly slaps his forehead, gets up, and gets over to where the gate is.]

[Setting: Box]

[...just in time to see Repteal finish bonking her nose against the door.]
Repteal: ...ow...
[Lillithin snickers and goes back.]

[Setting: Dimensional Gate]

[Lillithin walks out and sees Thorganthicus striding toward her location.]
Lillithin: Uh... hi?
Thorganthicus: [Cracks knuckles] I just remembered something. [He walks past.]
Lilithin: Okay, but-[Too late.  Thorganthicus is already inside.  Lil shrugs and follows.  During the trippy transition, we hear something break.]

[Setting: Box?]

[Thorganthicus is hiding behind a box, if that counts. covered in small pieces of wood.  As Lillithin enters from nothing, he shoots her a wordless look – "Not a word."  Lillithin just gives him a thumb-up signal.  He gestures slightly with his head toward the door, cuing her to go out into the hallway.  All clear.  Thorganthicus gets up and goes out.]
Lillithin (Whispering): So... what are we doing again?
Thorganthicus: Looking for this being. [He takes out a piece of paper, the contents of which we can't see.  Lil studies it for a while.]
Lillithin: Okay, I give up.
[Hands it back] I can't see it.  Could you give me a hint?
Thorganthicus: It's not supposed to be a puzzle, Lillithin...
[Looks] But, no, I'll grant that it's not the easiest to make out.
[Sighs] I think the artist either got carpal tunnel, or didn't want to risk it.
Lillithin: Hmph.
Thorganthicus: Tell me this – would you want to draw all those spots?

[Before Lil can respond one way or another, a heavily-spotted feline leans in.]
Abel: 'scuse me, but is there something chaotic going on here without me?
[Lillithin leans down to where Thorganthicus is still holding the picture, then looks back at Abel, twisting it around so he can see]
Lillithin: Is this you?
[Abel pauses, then jumps quickly back into the doorframe, evidently deciding that no good can come of these two.  Thorganthicus runs after him, but it would seem to be a foregone race – Abel being much faster, already with a head start – until Lillithin appears in front of him, causing him to skid to a stop.]
Lilithin: Really.  I can't tell.  Was that you in the picture?
[The feline incubus responds by knocking her to the side. Thorganthicus redoubles his efforts as he passes through a doorframe and trips on an outstretched tentacle.]

[Setting: Computer Lab]

[Abel sits at a computer, typing as if he has been doing so all along.  Thorganthicus is still lying on the ground, where small cracks have formed from the impact.]
Abel (Not turning): What took you?
Thorganthicus: [Gets up, ignoring the question] It's only fair to warn you, Abel –
Lillithin: [Enters, woozy] I have no idea what's happening or even what's in front of me.
[She falls over next to Thorganthicus, eyes swirling, as Abel, just turning around, falls to the side of his chair, cracking up. His seat is left rotating for the next few seconds. Thorganthicus, picking her up, doesn't seem so amused.]
Thorganthicus: [Clenches Lil-less fist] Let's go.
[Abel's chair is now back where it started, facing the computer.  Its occupant, however, has finished laughing and is now – in what was probably meant to catch Thorganthicus off-guard – leaping over the back, tentacles flared.]

[Fight: Abel]

[Abel crashes into the computer, which flicks to Amber's cast page on impact.]
Abel (Muttering): Okay, plan B.
Lillithin: Hey, Thorg?
Thorganthicus: [Stops, just about to lay down a finisher] Hm?
Lilithin: Why are we doing this, again?
[The question catches him off-guard.  He pauses.  Abel interrupts, wing-typing.]
Abel: Eh, a lot of people have a grudge against me for one thing or another.
I'd write you off, then, as...
[Double-clicks] Gone. [Snap to-]

[Setting: Anthicus' Room]

[Thorganthicus and Lillithin stand there, both looking equally confused.  In the foreground is Mikelo, in front of a prone Anthicus, stunned.  Thorganthicus is the first in the room to regain his composure, but his first thoughts are still surprised.]
Thorganthicus: Anthicus failed... I didn't think the kid had it in him.
Lillithin: [Scratches head] Me neither.
Mikelo: [Turns to face them] Wh-what are you-
Anthicus just...
[Comprehension begins to dawn.] "Failed"?!
Lillithin (To Thorganthicus): Actually, we kind of did, too, didn't we?
Thorganthicus: [Raises ax; in the background, Anthicus is recovering] A mistake I do not intend to repeat here.

[Fight: Mikelo]

[Mikelo falls, unconscious.  Anthicus is by now standing, eyes glowing green again.]
Anthicus: I didn't need your help.
Thorganthicus: It didn't look that way to me.
Anthicus: [Sighs] Well, either way, he's ready for delivery, and I feel like I should ask: how the heck did you get here?
Thorganthicus: I'm afraid there's no time right now.
Anthicus: [Pauses, doesn't have an answer] ...fine.  Anyway, Pezagayote's been rendered a nonissue, so all we have to do now is-
Thorganthicus: That won't be necessary. [Picks up Mikelo]
Lillithin: [Waves] 'bye!
[Thorganthicus teleports the three of them away before a baffled Anthicus.  There's a dark teleportation segue, and-]

[Setting: Repteal's Lair]

[Thorganthicus, Mikelo slung over one shoulder and Lil sitting on the other, appears in Repteal's lair, walking out from behind a pillar.]
Lillithin (Tired): Yay... we did the thing... I'm tired.  G'night.
[She flies away to sleep on a pillow or something.  Thorganthicus leaves as the scene darkens, showing brief images of him chaining the unconscious Mikelo to a dungeon wall, as he takes the role of narrator one last time.]
Thorganthicus (As Lillithin leaves): I cannot emphasize enough how much of a relief that moment was.
I'll admit, though, I was tempted to follow suit when I finished, when I got the call...
[The narrative reverts to normal.  Thorganthicus enters the room he was in at the beginning of this storyline.  Again, he finds himself talking with someone in the shadows, though the room seems marginally lighter than last time.]
?: Hello.  Thorganthicus, isn't it?
Thorganthicus: [Blinks] That would be me.
?: I have to say, I'm impressed with what you've done so far.
Thorganthicus: I'm... glad to hear that.
?: Funny – I'm not.
[Thorganthicus looks confused, changing to comical shock as a figure steps out from the darkness: the little ball of grey fluff known as Fluffy.  One paw holds a baseball bat; the other is polishing off a familiar-looking muffin.]
Fluffy: Don't give me that look. [Fluffy begins walking toward him; there's quite a bit of space to cover, especially with those stubby little legs.]
Whether you realize it or not, you're rising pretty fast in the eyes of Miss I'm-the-boss-of-everything.
At this rate, my job's not really in danger yet...
[She finishes her muffin.] But I figure, why take the risk?
[Thorganthicus looks at his adversary, having in fact taken a single step backward before realizing just what he's up against.  He still looks surprised, but it's for a different reason this time; a trace of amusement is visible on his face now.]
Thorganthicus: You can't be serious.
[In reply, with one lightning-fast motion, Fluffy discards the muffin's wrapper and replaces it with what can only be seen as a grey blur, sent flying like a flail at Thorganthicus' head.  It narrowly misses, instead making a sizable hole in the door behind him and immediately returning.  The camera holds on the hole as Lillithin flies into view behind it.]
Lillithin: Hey, Thorg?  You never told me, why DID we...
[Looks up, pausing for a second] When did we put a window here?
[Looks back down, pointing at Fluffy] Is that who I think it is?
[Both Fluffy and Thorganthicus – looking over his shoulder – stare at the imp.  She stares back, an ear twitching.]
Fluffy (To Thorganthicus): She knows way more than she should, doesn't she?
Thorganthicus: ...
Fluffy (Devious): Well, I could just leave. now, couldn't I?
(Thoughtful) But then it wouldn't be satisfying for me...
(Smiling) I've got a shiny new mouse and I'm not afraid to use it.

[Final Fight: Fluffy]

[...and as a finisher, Lillithin goes into a dive, ramming into Fluffy, who bounces away, dizzy or unconscious (depending on how one interprets the swirly lines).]
Lillithin: [Poses] Woohoo!
[Suddenly, there is a massive thud, shaking the screen and causing Lil to trip from her victory stance.  Recovering, she looks back, and is greeted with one large hoof.]
Lilithin: Uh... Thorg?
[Pan to reveal Thorganthicus, sprawled on the ground, definitely knocked out.  Cut back to Lil regarding the foot for a moment, then tickling it with a silly look on her face.]
Lillithin: Tickle tickle tickle...
[Suddenly, the room darkens considerably.  The imp looks straight up, ears drooping.]
Lillithin (Stopping, nervous): Sorry?
[Behind her, a vague figure appears, just visible against the darkness.  Lil tries to tilt her head further back to see, and falls over on her back.  The figure – clearly not a small grey puffball – seems momentarily oblivious to the situation.]
?: Excellent work, Thorganthicus.  As you know, only one thing remains...
[It pauses.  Cut to its approximate point of view, sweeping over the unconscious Thorganthicus and Fluffy, with Lilithin standing, completely lost, in the middle.]
Lillithin: [Waves] 'lo.
[Another pause.]
?: You are the only being awake here?
Lillithin: [Looks around and thinks for a moment] Thorg... Mikelo... fuzzy thing... yeah, pretty much.
?: ...this does not bode well.
Lillithin: Heeey, you're... uh... that one person...
?: [Sighs; braces self] What is the condition of Mikelo?
Lillithin: He's a bit unconscious, but otherwise just a little beat up.  Why?
?: Never you mind why.  Just make sure his condition stays stable.
Lillithin: You want me to make him stay knocked out?
?: No.
Lillithin: Should I wake him up?
?: No.
Lillithin: What if I set him loose but don't wake him up?
?: No.
Lillithin (Somehow has Fluffy's bat): ...can I keep him knocked out just a little?
?: Just make sure no further harm comes to him.  Understand?
Lilithin: [Scratches head] Not really.
? (Exasperated): Why not?!
Lillithin: Well, if he's just sitting there, how's he going to get hurt?
?: Repteal.
Lillithin (Lost): [Pause] Uh...
?: Everything you've done recently has been at the behest of Repteal, has it not?
Lillithin: [Ear twitches] Sort of.
?: Now that she has Mikelo at her disposal, what do you think she is going to do when she returns?

[Lilithin processes this for a moment, then – as seen earlier in her narrative – her mind seems to snap, even worse this time.]
Lillithin (Catatonic): Oh... right... I knew there was a reason I didn't like her...
[She walks over to Thorganthicus' body and begins hitting her head against his hoof.  It doesn't last two hits before she stumbles back, holding her head in one hand.]
Lillithin: Oogh... hard foot, hard foot...
?: Ahem.

[Lillithin suddenly turns with, unusually, a look of total comprehension on her face, and speaks with similarly unusual clarity.]

Lillithin: If we don't want her to come here and abuse Mikelo, why can't I just set him free and claim that he escaped?
? (Quickly losing temper): Because that would run contrary to the plan.
Lillithin: And why do I want to help you, again?
?: Because I can do this.

[Cut to outside the door.  Through the hole, we can see only unnatural light accompanied by ghastly wailing mixed with the sound of something breaking.  Cut back inside.]

Lillithin (Eyes and mouth wide): Point.
? (You can all but see the sadistic smile): I don't think I need tell you that it is in your best interests not to fail.  You have your orders.

[The darkness recedes.  Lillithin is left standing there, stunned.]

Lillithin: ...
Okay.  Have to stop Repteal.
(Face drooping) Well, I'm doomed.
[She walks past Thorganthicus, dejected, before pausing and spinning around.] ...duh.
[Walks back toward his head and begins slapping it.] Hey, time to wake up now.
[Snap to her jumping on his nose, anxious] Wake up... c'mon...
[Stops, sniffing] Why do I smell muffins?
[Snap to breaking her tiny chair on his shoulder] YEARGH!
[Finally, shouting in his ear] WAKE UP!
You really don't want to know what else'll happen if Repteal gets back and...
Hey, where is Repteal, anyway?
[Acting on impulse, she flies outside and, with already-potent speed enhanced by fear, she quickly finds Repteal a couple miles away at best, hurt but moving with daunting tenacity.  Thankfully, however, this also means she can't be bothered to notice the already-hidden Lillithin.]
Lillithin (Thinking): Okay.  Think.  She's obviously been through a lot.
She was probably already a little tired the last time I saw her.
[As she says this, black-and-white flashback to just that moment.  Repteal looks maybe just a little fatigued.]

Repteal: It's a personal favorite of mine.  Basically, he's extremely suggestible, and he'll do anything I tell him.

[Back to present.  Lil seems to be going down a different train of thought.]
Lillithin: ...and no matter how she's doing, she can overpower me with both arms and one leg tied behind her back.
She's not exactly one to reason with.  Not like I can do that one spell I just remembered for some reason.
Or anything else that matters.
[She hold out her hands and forms a tiny fire between them.  It doesn't last long.]
Whee.  Matches.
[She thinks for a minute and suddenly develops a thankful, if somewhat desperate smile.] Now, maybe someone else...

[Fade one last time – for real, this time – to Lillithin's narration.  The usual relevant images with minor tweaks follow.]

Lillithin: I'm not going to tell you how I talked Anthicus into trying to stop Repteal.
And I'm certainly not even going to bring up the question of how I found him in the first place.
Or how I expected him to actually be able to stop Repteal.
Probably because I didn't.
[The visuals stop.] But he got out fine in the end.  Sort of.
[Her gradually-weakening smile suddenly reverts to her regular mischievous look as she finishes.] Keep watching for the exciting conclusion.

[Shot from above of the area just outside of Repteal's lair as Lillithin watches Anthicus and Repteal meet.  Cut to the imp as she winces, then back to Repteal, continuing unopposed.  She zips back inside where – not nearly so confident as in her narrative – she begins to break down.]
Lillithin: (Drifting through lair) Goodbye, house I don't actually live in...
(In a dungeon near Mikelo's) Goodbye, rakes, shovels and implements of destruction...
(At Mikelo's cell) Goodbye... you...
(And to Thorganthicus, a little peeved) Goodbye, one person who has any chance of stopping Repteal for reasons well beyond me, but apparently at this stage could only be woken up by cannon fire...
[Slaps forehead] I'm an idiot.

[She walks over to one of the pieces of her broken chair, walks onto Thorganthicus' face, and casts Matches, setting the wood on fire.  However, caught a little off guard by the flames, she fumbles and drops it on the ground, where the fire goes out.  Cut to Repteal tiredly opening the door, then back to Lilithin, again anxious – then getting another idea in which, bypassing the wood, she sets his tail on fire.  Shot of Thorganthicus' eyes.]

Thorganthicus: O_O

[Small jump forward...]

[Repteal enters, indeed not looking too good.]
Lillithin (Slightly surprised): It's Repteal.
Thorganthicus (Impassive): Indeed.
Repteal (Trying to hide apprehension with marginal success): Just on my way through...
Don't mind me.  Please.
Thorganthicus: If you intend to do what we think you do, I'm afraid we may have to.
Repteal (Facade weakening; definitely nervous now): Will you, now.  And why might that be?
You've never been one to care, and I can't exactly see Lillithin putting you up to this.
Well, I can see her trying, but...
[The concept is just too much for her in the state she's in.  She breaks down snickering.  Lillithin, for once, doesn't share her mirth.]
Thorganthicus: [Half-smiles] While that is an amusing mental image...
[Smile gone] No, Repteal, this is far bigger than any of us.
Repteal: Is it?  I don't suppose you could share any details, could you?
Lilithin: Well–[Thorganthicus glares at her.  She shuts up before she can reveal anything.]
Thorganthicus (Looking back at Repteal): That we cannot.  Trust me when I say that you'd do well to turn back for the moment.
Repteal: Let's say I don't.  Who's going to stop me?  You?
Thorganthicus (Shifts to a daunting battle stance): Indeed.
Repteal: [Pause] ...
[She reluctantly turns around to go, evidently thinking Thorganthicus to be more than she can handle at the moment – then in one fluid movement, spins around to strike.  Thorganthicus doesn't flinch.]

[Credits.]

[Final image: The final confrontation – I think we all know who's going to win...]

[Caswin]

This is it.  Mab's Land endgame.  Prepare for dubiously-executed revelations and inadvisable done-on-the-fly kinda-sorta artsy stuff that's vaguely symbolic but not really.  This whole story was pretty much done on the fly, save for this one sequence halfway through - the first scene, in fact, that popped into my head one night... yeah, I can't wait, either.

---

DMFA: The Fighters

Mikelo's Story: "Revelation"

[Open to darkness – quickly revealed to be the inside of a cupboard, camera looking out, as Mikelo opens it and (outside shot) takes out a box of cookies – and suddenly, with exaggerated flair and speed, Pip flies by, snatching it from his hand in slow motion.  Mikelo, looking a bit groggy, blinks for a few seconds.  Pip just gives him a look.

Mikelo takes one step forward.  The drake hunches back, box still hanging from his mouth.  Mikelo leans forward, right hand out to one side, ready to grab.  All of Pip's attention is focused there.  The tension mounts... Mikelo lunges... and grabs the box in his left hand... pulls back... and Pip comes tagging along, ready to defend his prize!]

[Fight: Pip]

[The battle concludes with Pip hightailing it away, holding two or three cookies in his mouth and tail.  Mikelo still has the majority of the stuff, albeit much of it in places other than the box (one has somehow stuck itself to his shell).  Still a little sleepy, he smiles.

Fade to Mikelo at a table, distractedly eating something rather more nutritious than Oreos.  He contemplates the bagel in his hand for a moment, remembering something...]
-
[Flashback: A snowy mountain.  Visibility is limited, but Mikelo can be seen steadily working his way up, fairly close to the top.  He is conspicuously alone.  Suddenly, a few rocks bounce by him.  Rumble.  He looks up reflexively, forcing his eyes open.

His eyes open.  He's just woken up from a dream that probably means something, now in his room at the Academy.  He just lies there, eyes open.  Angle up for a shot of as much of him as the blankets will allow (not much; he's actually bunched them around his body).  Hold for a moment.]
Mikelo: Oreos...
-
[End flashback.]
Anthicus: Huh?
[Mikelo snaps out of it.  Present.  Eating.  Anthicus got here at some point.  So did Demo.]
Anthicus: I guess they're not too bad; I tried them once...
Boko (also there): You licked one once.  It was so awful you simultaneously crushed it and bit your hand somehow.
[Anthicus pauses, and sulkily resumes eating some form of hash.  Demo is just staring at some reason and finally manages to tell him:]
Demo: You've got something right here.
[Mikelo catches the Oreo smudge.  Some monotonous moments pass.]
Anthicus: One of these days, I'm going to take that little drake and...
[You get the picture.  As mundane and normal a day as is possible around here.  Classes pass in montage form, until...

After a long day of nondescript blandness, we find Mikelo in his dorm, studying absentmindedly.  He looks rather relieved at a knock at the door.  He opens it, and is met with a detached-looking Anthicus.]
Mikelo: Hey, I–
[Anthicus walks right past him, one fist at his side clenched, before sighing, letting go and turning around, slumped, in about the middle of the room, looking as though he's bracing himself.]
Anthicus: You... might want to close the door.
[Mikelo, just a little lost, closes it and joins Anthicus across a table as he sits down.]
Anthicus: Sorry to drop in on you like this.
Mikelo: [Shrugs] It's been a slow day.  I don't mind.
Anthicus (Trying to lighten up): Heh.  Yeah, okay, I hear that.
[Shot of his fingers, under the table, making some quick gesturing.
Meanwhile, above, both are silent for a while.  Behind an oblivious Mikelo, a plant seems to be growing on his floor.]
Mikelo: So...
Anthicus: Right.  Sorry.
I'm just
[Without warning] JENALOSI!!
[The plant behind Mikelo explodes into humanoid fruition (with a passing resemblance to Jenny) and grabs at Mikelo – who is already well away and still rolling, wings tucked around him.  He rises to see the plant lying motionless where he was just sitting.
Its summoner, Anthicus, hasn't moved from his spot at the table, but his attitude is another story.  No longer subdued and dejected, his features are now a picture of sadistic amusement that just doesn't look right on his face.  Oh, and his eyes are glowing green.]
Anthicus: Well-played.  I really thought I had you there.
Mikelo: What...?
Anthicus: Your reputation precedes you – specifically, your reputation for being so naive and gullible that I could tell you the sky was magenta, and you wouldn't bother going out to check.
[Mikelo has by now backed his way to the door.]
Anthicus: You can trust me on this much, though – you won't get out that way.
[He hesitates.  Under normal circumstances, he would probably believe him – but, spurred on by the verbal jab, he grabs the handle and gets a vine wrapped around his wrist for his efforts.  Anthicus seems a little annoyed, thinking about something.]
Anthicus: ...oh!
[Slaps forehead, laughs] Right, you were wondering why I was trying to subdue you in the first place!
[Mikelo, meanwhile, is frantically whipping up a spell of his own, one-handed.]
Fine, I suppose you do deserve to know that much.
[He leans against a wall, cracking his knuckles.]
(Cheerful) Too bad.
[Mikelo finally gets a fire going and just manages to burn through the vine holding his arm down as Anthicus attacks.]

[Fight: Anthicus]

[Mikelo stands over an unconscious Anthicus, stunned.  He backs away, panicking and on the verge of hyperventilating – and then, behind him, a certain blue demon and furry little imp appear.  He spins around, seemingly more concerned with explaining than defending himself.]
Thorganthicus (To Lilithin): He failed... I didn't think the kid had it in him.
Lilithin: Me neither.
Mikelo: I... he just... it...
[Comprehension begins to dawn] "Failed"?!
Lilithin: Actually, we kind of did, too, didn't we?
Thorganthicus: A mistake I do not intend to repeat here.
[Mikelo, shock just wearing off from the first fight, seems in no condition to respond...]

[Fight: Thorganthicus]

[...but respond he does.  Thorganthicus goes crashing to the ground (Lilithin half under him) as Anthicus rolls over, groggy but glow-free.]
Anthicus: Ugh... what happened...?
Mikelo: [Spins] Hold on!  Stay there!
Anthicus: Mikelo?  What's...
[Sitting up, he looks around and sees Thorganthicus for the first time, glaring.]
Anthicus (Muttering): Thorganthicus...
[Shakes head] Wait.  I don't know what just went on, but believe me – whatever happened, it wasn't me you were dealing with.
Mikelo: [Slackens, confused] It wasn't?
Anthicus: Thorganthicus – and Repteal.  They did something to me...
[He starts to rise, then stops, cringing.  Mikelo goes over to help him up.  As he comes closer, Anthicus makes a chopping motion with his arm, and he suddenly finds himself grabbed by the Jenny-esque plant for his trouble.  Some kind of powder poofs out.]
Anthicus: And now I feel like passing it on.
[No longer remotely confused, Anthicus' pitiless laughter echoes as Mikelo blacks out...

...fade in from solid black to solid white for a moment, and back to Mikelo.  We're in his mountain dream again, still without explanation as to how he can stay awake in the cold.  He's within sight of the peak – as well as a rushing wall of snow, turning everything solid white again, and black.
Snap to somewhere almost equally dark.  Just a bit of light, origin unclear, reveals Mikelo in a sitting position.  His eyes are wide open from the events of his dream, but they quickly dip to mere concerned surprise.  Waking up in a strange place?  Nothing new.]
Mikelo: Okay... where am I now?
[He tries to get up – and can't.  To his suddenly-growing fear, the light glints off of a chain linking him to the wall.  He tests it, trying to pull away – ten inches or so – just as the door opens, the comparatively bright light producing the familiar, if somewhat subdued silhouette of Repteal, holding an incredibly nasty-looking Deathscythe.
Right on cue, the room lights up marginally, courtesy of some magical torches.  We see her propping the stiff body of Anthicus against the door, then advancing on Mikelo, smiling evilly (there's a lot of that) and looking quite unbalanced.]
Repteal: Ah, Mikelo.  Glad you could make it.
Incidentally, don't get any ideas about trying to set my hair on fire or something.  These chains have that all taken care of.
However, healing is encouraged.  It gives me more to work with, you know?
Or maybe you'll get this headache of mine.  That'd be nice.
[Sighs] I've been waiting for this for some time now, you know.
[Turns] I could go into why – a long tangent about desire, the mystifying workings of one's own mind, and of course you...
[Her face abruptly flatlines] But right now, I could hardly care less about that.
I'm feeling stressed, I've got some stuff to work through, and more than anything else, I'd really just like to let off a little steam.
[Fiddles with the Deathscythe a bit before turning with a twisted smile and a demented gleam in her eye – features the Scythe seems to match] I'm sure you'll understand.

[Understandably, Mikelo is now straining with everything he has.  However, oddly, he only has about eight of those ten inches, judging by the slack.  He thinks quickly, eyes fixed on Anthicus – Repteal takes it for horror – his eyes slowly start to show some recognition... Mikelo seems to babble in incoherent fear...]
Repteal: So, if there are no more objections?
[Anthicus starts to move...]
Alright then – I guess I have you all to myself.
[She advances, bringing one arm back... and finds her wrist caught in one furry hand.]
Anthicus: Think again.

[Anthicus wrenches her fist across her back.  Something in there cracks.  Repteal cringes, but holds onto her composure, making the Scythe twist around and slash at him.  Anthicus is forced to let go, moving away as Repteal attacks again in a reaping motion, and yet again, head-on, in her classic "Coming Atcha" finisher...

...but what is normally a lightning-fast move is slower than usual; fatigue has dulled her reflexes.  Anthicus sidesteps, pushing the shaft away and shoulder-ramming her – breaking her grip on the weapon and knocking her within Mikelo's reach, only to escape with a few ballet-esque moves and meet Anthicus at the center of the room, where they really cut loose...

...just as the camera cuts to Mikelo, who can only watch as a very crunchy-sounding fight unfolds before him.  Finally, the finishing blow is landed – Anthicus breaks through Repteal's defenses and decks her into a corner, from where she doesn't move.]

Anthicus: [Walks over] You alright?
Mikelo: W-wait.  Just, how do I really...
[He trails off.  Anthicus casts a quick plant spell.  Vines break through the wall and – conveniently, the camera won't let us see the details – free Mikelo.]
Anthicus: How about that? [Dumb nod from Mikelo]
Glad that's settled.  So, you alright?
Mikelo: I guess.  I've been better.
Anthicus: Heh.  I'll be fine as long as I can stay conscious for more than

[Suddenly, pull away – revealing the Deathscythe painfully half-embedded in his back.  Repteal – up from having faked unconsciousness earlier – crouches there, breathing heavily, holding the Scythe out.  Anthicus falls, mouth gaping, face blank.  Mikelo rushes forward, catching him.]
Mikelo: ANTHICUS!
[Repteal watches with cold indifference as Mikelo's training as a white mage takes over.  He mechanically launches into a healing spell, momentarily oblivious to Repteal, who arches an eyebrow, looking more intent.]
Mikelo: Don't worry, y-you'll be okay, I...
[The spell finishes.  A glow begins to emanate from his hands toward Anthicus for a moment.  Then its course changes.  Repteal, by some dark trick of her own, begins intercepting, then actively draining the magic.  For a brief moment, Mikelo's only reaction is a look of horror as Repteal's injuries and fatigue fade to nothing while Anthicus lies there, watching his life slip away.

She finishes, sighing, fully returned to her calm, confident, domineering and sadistic self we're all familiar with.  Mikelo, watching, finally snaps out of it, and takes an expression not nearly so familiar with him: rage.  Shaking, he rises to meet Repteal.]
Mikelo: You...
Repteal: Monster?  Oh, indeed.
[And in an instant, she snaps a boot up, sending Mikelo flat on his back, and lands the same boot on his neck.]
Repteal: Don't move.
[She gestures with half a hand, keeping the Scythe in place.  Some runes on the chains light up.]
Repteal: Like I said before, I've been looking forward to this.
[The chains begin snaking toward Mikelo.]
Repteal: Trust me – you're not going anywhere.
[Mikelo has noticed the chains, and is unsurprisingly apprehensive, but anger continues to dominate his features.]
Repteal: It's a little much to go into right now, but believe me –
there are fun times ahead for the two of us.
[Almost there...]
Repteal: Shame the same can't be said for your friend.
[The chains are at his wrists again.  No one around to get them off.  She shrugs.]
Repteal: Oh, well.
[Mikelo's fist tightens.  Hold on it as a chain starts to wrap around.]
Repteal (Off-camera): Not that important, I guess.
[And like that, his fist is gone, leaving the chain with nothing.

Zoom out: To Repteal's surprise (and probable embarrassment), Mikelo has retracted his limbs into his shell.  He pushes himself away, rolling and making Repteal lose her balance.  She hops back as Mikelo makes one full revolution and stops, coming out again, seething with fury and ready to fight.  Repteal looks mildly surprised.]
Repteal: Impressive.
(Looking peripherally away, disinterested) I suppose now you'll want me to leave you alone, spare your friend and never hurt anyone again?
[She looks back – and her eyes widen.  Mikelo, for once, is beyond those illusions.  He knows she won't back down.  He knows she'll never stop hurting innocent people for kicks.  And even were these things not true, as evidenced by his wild charge and slight supernatural golden aura, nearly every thought in his mind has been crowded by loathing for her: a cold, remorseless killer in prime form.  One way or another, this will not end well.]

[Fight: Repteal]

[Repteal goes tumbling, bruised, battered, definitely not faking it this time.  Finally, she stops, shaking slightly but otherwise not moving.  Mikelo gives her one last look, and rushes back to Anthicus, who has only gotten worse.]
Mikelo: Alright, come on, don't you go and die now...
[He conjures up another healing spell – definitely starting to push himself – and gets to work, pulling Anthicus away from death's door, and manages to quickly stabilize him as the door gets broken down.

Enter our good friends Thorganthicus and Lilithin, mainly Thorganthicus, the driving power of the deadline evident on his face.  He scans the room for Repteal – and, finding her beaten on the floor and Mikelo standing, ready to go another round, can only stand there, gaping.  After a pause...]
Lilithin: [Applauds] Woohoo!
[Mikelo slackens his stance... maybe a moment too soon.  The room darkens.  We know where this is going.]
?: Indeed...
[Lilithin recognizes the signs.  She flees down the hall, and flies into a wobbly Fluffy.  Thorganthicus' boss has entered the field, personal corner-of-darkness in tow.]
?: Impressive, Mikelo Turratel.
[The darkness recedes ever-so-slightly, revealing the vestiges of a spiny demonic face, covered in spikes and featuring two slitted yellow eyes.]
!: Most impressive...
Mikelo: What?
Lilithin: Who?
Anthicus (still groggy): Boko?
Mikelo (confused): Boko?
Thorganthicus: Mom?!
Repteal (Through gritted teeth): Graskall...
Graskall (Shedding mystique, but not the darkness, which keeps her appearance vague for most of the  conversation): Right.  Glad to hear someone remembers my name.
Repteal: [Nods, immediately regretting it, wincing] So, what brings you here?
Graskall: [Nods toward Mikelo] Him.
[Repteal gives her an incredulous look as Mikelo finally gets around to confusion.]
Mikelo: Me?
Graskall: The world needs you, Mikelo.
Mikelo: It does?
Thorganthicus (vapor lock): Mom?
Graskall: Yes, Thorg.  Mom.
[With a vague offhand gesture, she somehow knocks out him and everyone else in the room, leaving only herself and Mikelo standing.]
Just you listen...

[Meanwhile, Fluffy – last in a long line of waker-uppers – is listening by what's left of the door, muttering.]
Fluffy: Graskall, what are you...
[Pause.  Forehead slap] Oh, no.

Graskall: ...resulting in enough food and medicine for...
[Looks over at the door] Hold on a moment.
Fluffy: @&$*!
[Leaving Mikelo looking skeptical, she appears in a poof of flame in front of Fluffy.]
Yes, Fluffy.
[Not leaving the fire, she punts Fluffy into the room, bringing cast saturation to 100%.]
Graskall: So, Mikelo, do you feel like helping out?
Mikelo: Not a chance.
Graskall: [Raises eyebrow] Shame.  Why not?
Mikelo (Frustration growing): Because your plans for the world are completely insane.
Graskall: Really.
Mikelo: There's more to the world than helping you and whoever you happen to like get on top.
Graskall: Oh, come now.  You can hardly say it's worse than things are now for us – feared, hated, misunderstood – I'm sure you know the feeling.
Mikelo: Against the well-being of everyone else?  I'll take it.
Graskall: Ah, of course.  You care.  Sweet.
Take this into account: I could do it anyway.
You could well not cooperate – all it would mean is a greater body count and a few million more lives ruined.
[She pauses on this note, reflecting.  It affects her more than she'd care to admit.]
Hm.  I don't really like that particular path any more than you.
Really, I'd prefer if you just helped of your own free will.
[Moves toward a couple bodies; the torches flicker out at her approach] I could see to giving some of your friends a break...
[Absentmindedly, she moves toward Repteal, whose unconscious body dominates most of the shots, grabbing at whatever sympathy the player may still have]
Except her.  I don't like her.

[She extends her claws and pulls an arm back – and reacts with deadpan surprise when Mikelo grabs her elbow.]
Graskall: Mikelo, you do realize...
Mikelo: Just don't.
Graskall: Can I count on your cooperation, then?
Mikelo: ...no.  Afraid not.
Graskall (Resigned): It looks like I'm stuck, then.
Going alone really isn't that appealing, and if you won't join... well, I could always just "turn" you.
Mikelo (Edgy): Meaning?
Graskall: [Picks up Repteal in one claw] Meaning I have means of persuasion she's only dreamed about.
[She casually throws Repteal out the door, turning toward Mikelo] Feel like going quietly?
[He just glares at her.]
I thought as much.
You may as well know what you're up against.  Look around for a moment.  Look at what I'm capable of while hardly even getting involved.
[Circular pan.  The room is crowded, but these two are all alone.]
And you – you're hardly any better off than they are.
[Slow analytical shot of Mikelo.  She is, unfortunately, right.]
Mikelo: I don't care.
Graskall: Soon, it won't matter.
Come on, Turtledove.  Show me what you're made of.

[Final Battle: Graskall]
Strength: *****
Speed: **1/2
Durability: ****
Dexterity: ****
Agility: **1/2
Size: Huge
Weapon: Any and all
Special attacks:
Immolation: Lots and lots of fire for unfair amounts of damage.
A moment of silence for the artists who had to draw and animate Graskall in combat.  She fights like Thorganthicus on steroids, with massive reserves of strength and an even greater store of weaponry hidden somewhere, giving her a very unpredictable fighting style.  One question sure to be on every gamer's mind: where'd the pencil come from?

[Mikelo wins.  Because he's Mikelo.

A textless montage of image ensues, fading from one to the next:
Graskall more or less explodes in a burst of reddish light.
Mikelo falls to his knees, utterly burned out.
The room starts waking up again.
Anthicus, with some effort, pushes himself into a sitting position.
Fluffy leaves through the door.
Repteal is already a distance ahead of her, but in rather worse condition.
Anthicus, not so healthy himself, helps Mikelo up.
Thorganthicus' eyes meet Mikelo's.  The message is not a friendly one.
Anthicus and Lillithin share a similar, if not quite so loaded look.
Fluffy, in a parallel to Anthicus, supports Repteal in front of her dimensional gate.
Nothing transpires just yet.  Thorganthicus teleports away, Lillithin in tow.
Repteal rises and, likely more to prove it to herself than anything else, jumps agilely through the activated gate.
Mikelo and Anthicus work their way out the door.
Fluffy follows Repteal's lead, but to a different destination.
An indeterminate amount of time later, Mikelo stands outside – on top of that mountain.  Remember the mountain?
Fade back to the real world as he weakly shakes his head.  Dreams are for sleep, not fatigue/stress-induced hallucinations.
The sun shines on his face, fading to white.]

[Credits]

[Final image: A fractured image, giving everyone a quick final scene.  Mikelo and Anthicus are still outside.  Thorganthicus and Lillithin are wherever they call home, already looking as if they're planning something new.  Fluffy is in an urban setting, looking for something.  And Repteal's day, to judge by her perturbed expression, appears to have gotten even worse...]
---
And it's not over... not yet... (I like to think it gets better.  Stick around.  Trust me on this one.)

[Caswin]

In which use the word 'slumped' a lot, and it is hinted that I may not be entirely clueless as to what I'm doing.

And the fourth wall came a-tumblin' down...
---
DMFA: The Fighters (Working title)

Pai Gon's Story: "Sibling Rivalry"
or
The "Panda Faerie Who Hits People on the Message Board with her Wand When They Go Past the PG Rating of the Board"

-

[Open on a purple, somewhat swirly void - the quintessential background, or at least one of them.  An unidentified narrator speaks.]
They're an odd, bunch, really – even compared to their peers.
[Six silhouettes appear bunched together.]
Six pandas, all sisters, sporting fairy wings and a peculiar ability:
To give their immediate surroundings a particular rating, reflected by their personalities and mannerisms.
[Briefly reveal each panda, in their usual rating-symbol pose (Lady X in back), as her name is mentioned.]
Collectively known as The Rating Pandas, it is the duty – should they choose to accept it – of Gee, Pai Gon, Fa Teen, Rebma, Lady X and Nyra to keep the content of designated parts of the Internet under control.
[Zoom on Pai Gon's silhouette.]
The best-known of these sisters is Pai Gon, the PG sister...
Due in large part to being really the only panda to accept it.
[Reveal all again.]
And woe betide the one who invokes that duty...

[Fade to a computer, probably in Lost Lake.  Abel, its user, wears a smug smile.  Pai Gon approaches from the darkness behind him.]
Abel (not turning): And who's trying to sneak up on me?
Pai Gon: That was a PG-rated forum, Mr. "Abelicious".
Abel: [Rolls eyes] Oh noes, somebody broke a rule on the Internet.
News flash: Nobody cares.
Pai Gon: [Winds up] I do.

[Fight: Abel]

Abel (Grumbling, deleting something with a black eye): Somebody's uptight...
[And she's already gone.  Fade back to the void.  Pai Gon is its sole occupant now.]

A little-known fact about the Sisters:
Interdimensional travel is handy when you're straddling a fuzzy line between fantasy, reality and the Internet.
Pai Gon, let alone her sisters, rarely uses this ability to stray so far - but her priorities are shifting as of late...

[Cut to Pai Gon on her bed, wide awake, wearing a modest nightgown.  She heaves a depressed sigh, turning to look at a picture of Alexsi on one wall.]
Pai Gon: How did you handle it, Alexsi?
The twinks?  The perverts?  An unending legion of sociopathic jerks?
[She reaches to one side.  Her fingers wrap around the shaft of her star-wand.]
You did something about it.
[She rises out of her bed...

...flowing smoothly into a shot of her walking out a doorway, full dress on.]
PG: "Only following orders".  Oy.  What's that even supposed to mean?
[Someone slumped over a swivel chair slides out the door behind her as she says this.  Cut to her attacking another user, with a counter in one corner reading "Strike #3."]
Some kind of... Internet-wide conspiracy to desensitize its users and drive me crazy?
[Strike # 7, still musing.]
And while we're at it, let's put... oh, one of my sisters in charge.
[Walking away from another computer (Strike 28).  The monitor displays an already-sent message inciting others to break the rules, rebel, stop conforming and conform already, and so forth.  Pai Gon hams it up for herself.]
'Mwa ha ha, I, Lady X, will corrupt all ze childrens and doom the Internet to an eternity of pr0n!'
[Strike 77 and still at it, though with more of a deranged edge.]
'Check me out!  I'm so easy to draw!  Just add nothing!'
[Strike 104.]
Nah.
[Strike 219.  Hard to tell if she's still joking.]
Pseudo-rebellion would be a Fa Teen move, wouldn't it?
[Strike 346.  Focused.  Definitely not joking.]
Yes, of course – but would she have the drive?
[Strike 1,619.  She has cornered a scared, confused Jyrras.]
WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?

[Fight: Jyrras]

Pai Gon: ...wait.  This is the wrong reality, isn't it?
Jyrras (Under a pile of electronics): You have to keep in mind the Internet's exponential growth in the last couple years.
If there were such a conspiracy, I could well be part of it.
But I'm not.  So...
[He presses a button.  A red alarm starts flashing (no audio) and a wide variety of implements of destruction are pointed at a surprised Pai Gon.]
Get out of my house.
Pai Gon (Anime sweatdropping): Right.  Sorry to bother you.

[Three Mows fly at the screen in Superfriends-style formation, revealing a nighttime look at one author's interpretation of Pai Gon's home: two stories, a shingled awning extending between them.  Seen through a second-story window, Pai Gon looks a little sobered from attacking Jyrras, but continues to mutter to herself, not bothering to turn any lights on.]
Pai Gon: Could be.  Doubt it.  I'm guessing something closer to home-
After all, the Rating Pandas were formed here for a reason, right?
[She walks over to – it is quickly revealed as she turns on the monitor – a computer with a few star stickers taped to it.  Next to it rises an advanced-looking tower.  She flexes her fingers, cracking one set of knuckles.]
Alright, let's see what you can tell...
[A flash of light behind her.  She spins, and there's Repteal, inured, getting up slowly.]
Repteal: Ngh... who was that winged poodle?
[She looks up and sees Pai Gon, surprised.  She looks back, memories of a long, bitter feud written on her face.  All that's missing is the red filter and alarm.]
Pai Gon: YOU.
[As Repteal cringes uncharacteristically away, she charges.]

[Fight: Repteal]

[The reptilian murderer, in none too good shape to begin with, fares poorly under Pai Gon's attack, and is knocked against a wall, half-slumped.  Pai Gon approaches warily.]
Pai Gon: Really, Repteal?  That can't be it.
[She suddenly points her wand at her neck, making her flinch ever so slightly.]
No, really.  It can't be.  I know you better than that.  What are you up to?
Repteal: I can say with total honesty that I have no idea what you're talking about.
Pai Gon: Words can't express how much I doubt that.
Repteal: Heh.  I guess you do know me too well...
[She casually flops her hand.  Pai Gon, well on edge – Repteal has that effect – reflexively brings her wand back like a bat, shaking.  Repteal remains cool.]
Repteal: Ooh, careful.  Don't go breaking your own rating.
Pai Gon: I'm starting to think that's the point, isn't it?
Repteal (Head tilted, eyebrow raised): What are you talking about?
[Her eyes drift about a millimeter too far for comfort.  A mouse cord wraps around the end of Pai Gon's poised-to-strike wand.]
Fluffy: Hold on, PG.  We need to-
[PG snaps.  Fluffy doesn't have time to finish the sentence as she turns, brings the wand down, jams the star in the floor, and vaults feet-first straight toward Fluffy.]
Fluffy (Eyes wide): Ohboy.

[Fight: Fluffy]

[Fluffy's flight is stopped by Pai Gon's monitor.  Pai Gon immediately regrets her move, sliding her hand down her face.]
Pai Gon: Nice.
[With an air of resignation, she looks back toward the space once occupied by Repteal, taking a moment to go into the empty hall.]
Yeah.  Real smart.
[She turns again.  Fluffy is nowhere to be seen for a moment – and then, suddenly, a computer mouse comes flying from behind the monitor, hitting the censor in the head.]
(Rubbing forehead) Er... sorry about that, Fluffy.  I thought you were Repteal's Plan B.
[Pause.  Pai Gon keeps looking at the monitor.  Cut to a shot of her, and behind her, Fluffy peeking in from the door frame.]
Fluffy: Boo.
[Pai Gon starts and spins around, wand again at ready, breathing heavily.  Then she relaxes, desire for vengeance overcome by confusion.]
Pai Gon: How did you do that?
Fluffy (Smiling): Apology accepted.
Now, why were you about to whack Repteal into little reptile bits at the expense of your own rating?
Pai Gon: She-
Fluffy: Other than your mysterious long-running feud with her that I wasn't aware existed until just recently.
Pai Gon: Well-
Fluffy: Or the inherent danger in leaving her conscious.
Pai Gon: Bec-
Fluffy: You think she's behind a web of strange, convoluted events focused on you, don't you?
[Pause.  Pai Gon looks at Fluffy silently, not daring to speak for a few moments before she finally decides it's safe.]
Pai Gon: How-
Fluffy: Well, she's not.
Pai Gon: No?
[Fluffy stops mid-word.  Pai Gon smiles smugly.]
Fluffy: ...no.
Pai Gon: And how do you know not only my motivation but that I'm wrong?
Fluffy: Educated guess.
Stuff's been happening all over – Furrae's crazier than usual, and that Mab's Land place is making even less sense.
Pai Gon: Mab's Land?  I thought we were Mab's Land.
Fluffy: We are.  I'm talking about...
(Flustered) That-that place where Repteal's from.  Which is also Mab's Land, apparently.
Whatever.  Big things are happening everywhere and nothing's going the way it should.
I figured something must be going on here, too.
Pai Gon: Would a maddening spike in ratings violations count?
Fluffy: Probably the prelude to something else.  The others were a lot more elaborate.
Pai Gon: And you wanted to warn me?
Fluffy: Warn you, and ask for your help.
I can't find Sphinx MT, and honestly, I'm starting to suspect

[Out of nowhere, a gunshot sounds.  The window shatters.  Fluffy falls backward.  Instinctually, Pai Gon rolls away, presenting as small a target as possible – no gunfire follows – and she quickly gets to the edge of a window and stands rigidly next to it.]
Pai Gon: Fluffy?
[Fluffy is motionless.  Pai Gon cautiously tilts her wand in front of the window, then rotates it, its shiny surface revealing the outside – a clearer, closer reflection of the tree – someone, features invisible save for a lit cigarette, crouching with a rifle.
Abruptly, the shadow grows – and the sniper crashes through what's left of the window.  Pai Gon doesn't hesitate, and rushes forward, bringing down her wand on nothing, her target rolling away, rising; she makes another swing upward – her blow is parried by the rifle – and her opponent draws a handgun on her, arms now crossed over each other.  The hand holding it is definitely not reptilian, but large, black, white, and furry.]
?: You really need to lighten up, Sis.
Pai Gon (Whispered, stunned): No...
?: Oh, drop it already.
[Gestures toward wand with handgun] No.  Really.  Drop it.
[She does, and before being told, backs up as her assailant walks into the light.  Another panda, female, with short, wavy red hair and loosely-worn sunglasses as well as a leather jacket.  This, as may be recognized from the beginning, is Rebma, Pai Gon's "mature" sister.  Pai Gon's next lines are the monotone product of stunned disbelief, with nothing seeming to quite register.]
Pai Gon: What do you want?
Rebma: [Shrugs] A lot of things.  But I really just like messing with you.
Pai Gon (Eye twitching): Messing... with me...?
Rebma: See?  I love that little tic you've got.
Pai Gon: You... shot someone...
Rebma (Frowning): I'm going to need you to be a little more specific...
[Laughs] Oh, that little fuzzball?  Pff.

[Fluffy begins to groan, turning over, bruised but clearly alive.]
Beanbag rounds.  Hurt like Hell, let me tell you.
Fluffy (Waking up): Ugh... this has gotta stop...
[Snaps awake, seeing Rebma] See?  Where'd she come from?!  That does not make sense!
Pai Gon: Actually, the sad thing is... I can believe it.
Rebma: Yeah.  Pretty convenient, that.
Fluffy (Holding forehead, eyes closed): "Convenient"...
[Looks up, realizing something] Of course...
[Without looking, Rebma aims her beanbag rifle at Fluffy and fires, evidently knocking her out once again.  Pai Gon, unable to take it anymore, lunges – and is stopped cold, the handgun still pointed at her face.]
Pai Gon: You're sick.
Rebma: Oh, she'll be fine.  Eventually.
So you're angry, and the Internet spirals further into depravity.  What else is new?
[Pai Gon's only reply is to maintain her glare, teeth about as bared as she can get them with her physiology.  Rebma arches an eyebrow.]
Stymied by your own rating again, huh?
[She slings the gun onto her back and begins opening the broken window, still keeping her handgun trained on Pai Gon.]
Well, I'm going to go home now – laugh at you for a while, maybe revel in some unenforceable rulebreaking.
Oh, and I'm also taking Fluffy along for reasons I don't feel like explaining to you.  If you'll excuse me...

[Suddenly, a mouse comes flying out of nowhere.  Her pistol is knocked from her hand, hitting the upper frame of the half-open window.  She makes a reflexive grab for it, but cuts her hand on the glass, drawing back as it falls.  Both pandas turn to look at the mouse's source – Fluffy, standing there with a bullet hole behind her position and some ruffled fur over her "head", such as it is, twirling her computer mouse.]
Rebma: Why are you still standing?
Fluffy: You missed.
[Rebma's response is to reach back and draw the beanbag rifle again – unwittingly blocking a swing by Pai Gon, wand and all, knocking her toward the half-open window.  Showing impressive awareness of her surroundings, she catches the windowsill behind her, ducks, and slides through, dodging a second swing and smoothly closing the window behind her.  Pai Gon, not losing a second, leaps athletically through what's left of the upper half of the window.
Outside shot: both sisters, silhouetted, Rebma on the awning and Pai Gon coming down from above.  Rebma, turning, again brings up her gun to block the inevitable strike – and is surprised when Pai Gon instead lands in front of her, proceeding to tackle her head-on.  They tumble down the short incline, landing in Pai Gon's front yard...]

[Final Fight: Rebma]

Rebma
Strength: ***
Speed: ***1/2
Durability: ***
Dexterity: ***1/2
Agility: ****
Size: Average
Weapon: Sidearm
Special attacks:
-Automatic: Rebma takes out an automatic and utilizes it to considerable (cheap) effect.
Super: Bazooka: 'nuff said.
"Never bring a sword to a gunfight." Guns take all the gun out of fighting.  This has not stopped Rebma.  Although her basic stats are somewhat low for a boss, they are more than made up for by a veritable arsenal of projectile special moves.  Get close.  Do it fast.  Don't get shot.

[Rebma sits slumped against the tree she was perched on earlier.  Pai Gon approaches her, wand raised, livid, breathing heavily.  Sparked by the rising melodrama levels, a light shower starts up.]
Pai Gon: What was it?  Really?
Somehow inciting half the Internet to "rebel against the system" and break the rules?
Just to get on my case for a while?  Not even you, sister.
Now, maybe, to make me give in to my anger toward you?
After resisting it for so long, to actually break my own rating by hospitalizing someone – a sibling, no less?
[Turns away dramatically]
That would pretty effectively mess me up, wouldn't it?
[She suddenly rears up a massive swing – lets loose – and then stops it an inch from her head.]
Too bad.  Not everyone has your control issues.
[Rebma looks up, disappointed.]
Rebma: How did you know?
Pai Gon (Dry smile): You always were a closet geek.  "Strike me down!" and all that.
But it's a moot point.  You've failed.  I could just walk away, leave you alone and work on the damage you've caused...
[Settles wand behind neck illustratively]
In doing so, ideally, setting myself up for a future of going easy on delinquents and laissez-faire enforcement, with you as a precedent.
My influence would be reduced to about nil.  Being a jerk and getting away with it would be that much easier.
And you, personally, would get off scot-free without a concussion.
That's what really tipped me off.  You're not exactly the self-sacrificing type.
[Rebma's look of disappointment and frustration intensifies.  She's really lost control of the situation – and it's showing.  She's mad.]
Rebma: You think you're sooo smart...

[Fluffy walks in from nowhere.]
Fluffy: Smart enough to know this much:
Either one of those plans would be so out of character for you it's not funny.
[Rebma blinks at her with a look of genuine confusion.  Pai Gon matches it.]
Rebma: My plans are on the what now?
Fluffy: You heard me.  Drawn-out, convoluted psychological warfare?  From the trigger-happy MA panda?  Please.
Rebma: So I've got an intellectual side.
Fluffy: Not like this, you haven't.
Rebma: What are you getting at?
Fluffy: Only that you're slipping, Miss Pan-
Rebma (Interrupting): Williams.
[Rebma claps her hand over her mouth.  Fluffy grins.  Pai Gon is still confused.]
Pai Gon: Is that my sister or not?
Fluffy: Close.  You're familiar with Mary-Sues?
Pai Gon: [Shudders] Not good times.
Fluffy: No kidding.  Just trust me when I say I recommend handling this as you would any other problem.
Pai Gon: [Slaps wand into hand] More than willing.
...am I going to understand this anytime soon?
Fluffy: Possibly.  Keep in touch.
[She puts on a pair of sunglasses – they look better on her than on Rebma, although to be fair, Rebma's not looking too good in general – takes out her mouse, and snaps it at a tree branch, swinging away.  The rain starts to clear up.]
Pai Gon (Watching): I've got to get one of those.

[Pause.  Rebma has recovered somewhat and seems to be sitting down of her own volition at this point.]
Rebma: Hey, have I suddenly stopped existing or something?
Pai Gon: Of course not.
[Horizontal anime-style cop-out whack.  Rebma rubs the side of her head.]
Rebma: Right.  Well, it's not like you can do much more of that.
Pai Gon (Reciting mechanically): Or else I'll exceed my rating's limitations, possibly losing my powers in doing so.
Rebma: [Rises, wincing] Glad you could see it my way.  Later, sister.
[She starts to leave.  Pai Gon catches her shoulder, that deranged look in her eye again.]
Pai Gon: Who says it's my rating I have to worry about, Ms. Mature?
[Rebma pauses to process this.  It's a moment before she breaks away and sprints off in a panic, limping slightly, Pai Gon close behind her and punctuating every word with a painful-looking strike.]
Pai Gon:
NEVER!
DO!
THAT!
AGAIN! ...

[Credits]

[Final scene: Pai Gon doing her enforcement thing to someone offscreen who may or may not be Rebma.  Does it matter?]
-
ATTENTION to all two of my readers: You can decide what direction the story takes next.  "Amber Turnover" marks the beginning of the end, and has the noteworthy quality of, like the first story, letting the player pick whoever they want.  Right now, I have exactly one version written up, but another shouldn't be too hard.  Limited time offer: does anyone have any character in particular they want to see match wits with an author driven mad?

[Caswin]

Just as Pai Gon's story is unlocked at the end of either the (nonexistent) DMFA arc or Mabslander arc - did I forget to mention that earlier? - this pops up after everything else is completed.

One more square on the grid is revealed.  Below the "Random" question mark is an exclamation point.  Upon its selection, it fades away.  The screen flashes.  The music shifts upward in tempo.

Select a character.  It's the beginning of the end.

The tallies are in... the people have spoken... and the conclusion is... nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

Repteal, it is.
---
DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title)

Anyone's Story: "Amber Turnover"

[We find our hero – whoever it may be – not far from where we last saw them, be it at home, on the run, or actively seeking out Amber.  Let's say it's Repteal, sneaking about in a dark alley somewhere.

An unsettlingly off-kilter voice begins laughing.]

?: HAhaHAhaHAhaHAhaAHhahAha...

[Repteal reflexively flattens herself against a wall, grimacing, breathing heavy.  She seems to have recovered considerably from her experiences throughout the game, but still isn't completely better yet.  She carefully leans around the corner.  No one there.  A slow look to her other side – nothing.  She inches down the alley, that voice echoing...]

?: I'm a pretty princess of aluminum foil!
Repteal (Muttering): Yeah, but where...

[Her answer comes racing down the front of the alley where she was looking a few seconds ago.]

APPOAF: HAhaHAhaHAhaHahAHahAHahAHa!!!

[Repteal has just time to step back a pace...]
[Fight: APPOAF]
Strength: **1/2
Speed: ***1/2
Durability: **
Dexterity: ***1/2
Agility: *****
Size: Average
Weapon: Foil Wand
Special attacks:
-Shiny: Light reflects off of the aluminum outfit, stunning the opponent.
The product of an already twisted mind with a fever to boot.  The Princess is more agile than she looks, and strikes with uncanny precision, but her foil armor can take unsurprisingly little punishment.  Try not to get wrapped in foil.  That would be bad.  HaHAHAhaHAhaHAhaHAha...

[The "Pretty Princess" lies on the ground, not moving, although her face looks as crazy as ever.  Her textbar-self, however, seems not only equally crazy but totally unfazed.]

APPOAF: The power of aluminum compels you!
Repteal: Sure it does.

[It sure does.  Light reflects off of her tinfoil hat, amplifying it to an incredible degree.  Soon, the entire alley is invisible.  Repteal, taking action, runs forward-

-abruptly stepping into a different world altogether.  The background is a vaguely-defined pattern of dark blues and purples, aesthetically pleasing and good for still pictures, but a little trippy to actually do anything in.  Considering that every other fighter in the game is also standing there and looking around, this is probably not a good thing.  Repteal pauses for a second, then picks Mikelo out from the crowd.]

Repteal (waving and smiling): Hey, Mikelo!

[Mikelo's reaction is a confused mess of surprise, anger, fear, shock, and confusion.  Lots of confusion.  She turns away, grinning...]

?: Hello, everyone.

[Everyone turns in one direction.  One figure stands apart from the rest: a human, female, wearing a lilac sweatshirt and faded grey pants – but more prominent are two brown eyes looking out from behind a pair of glasses, flicking about, a constant stream of thought running behind them.  She walks through the crowd, fiddling with a pen, and even those who don't recognize her – basically, everybody but Fluffy – instinctively keep a safe distance.]

?: Good evening.  Morning.  Afternoon.  Whenever.
I trust none of you know what you're doing here?

[Fluffy raises a hand.]

? (Irritated): Besides you, Fluffy.

[After a pause, Lilithin raises her hand.  Thorganthicus gives her a look and she brings it back down.]

?: Right.
My name is Amber Williams.  I'm an author and an illustration major, courtesy of the University of Southern Indiana.
And you – well, most of you – are my characters.

[Palpable presence notwithstanding, her statement is met with incredulity.  It's Repteal who steps forward to meet her.]

Repteal: Meaning...
Amber: Meaning just what it sounds like.  I'm the one who came up with you.
Repteal: Really.  Care to elaborate?
Amber: You're a seafood fiend with a clinical case of psychopathy.  You have an unhealthy obsession with Mikelo, whether or not you choose to acknowledge it.  You fantasize about hugging him, taking his feathers out, putting them in your hair and re-enacting various scenes from Sleeping Beauty.
[Repteal stares at her.  Just stares, totally dumbfounded.]
Amber: Would you believe I just made that last one up?  Well, now it's canon, Ms. Maleficent.
Repteal: [Pauses] I know I should probably hate you with every fiber of my being right now, but I can't get over this feeling of respect...
[Twitch] No.  What am I saying?  Of course I hate you.
Amber: And there's my problem.  You've been getting unruly lately – you and everyone else.  I don't like it.
Repteal: Get used to it.
Amber: I could, I guess.  But I've developed something of a liking for telling the stories I wanted to tell in the first place.
Repteal: Should've designed me better.
Amber: A bit late to be thinking about that, now, isn't it?
Repteal: Touché.
[Twirls Deathscythe] You have other things to worry about.
Amber: Do I?
[She gestures behind her.  Repteal takes a cautious look around and, to her considerable unease, sees... no one.]
Amber: Welcome to my world, Repteal.  Not that you ever left.

[Fight: Amber]
Amber Williams
Strength: ***1/2
Speed: ***1/2
Durability: ***1/2
Dexterity: ***1/2
Agility: ***1/2
Size: Average
Weapon: Pencil
Special attacks:
-Cross out: With a dash of the pencil, Amber crosses out her enemy, hurting them and leaving a line on the screen for the duration of the match.
-Erase: One-hit KO with a lengthy telegraph.
The author herself is just a little underwhelming – on close inspection, the pencil she uses isn't even sharpened.  Physically, she has no weaknesses, but nothing particularly extraordinary to her credit.  Keep up the pressure, and chances are low she'll get anything done fast enough.

[Amber falls gracelessly to the ground.  The background fades back to the alley Repteal started in – daytime.  Repteal looks up, a small smile on her face.  Victory.

Pan up...

It abruptly starts raining.  The camera comes back down to Repteal, just a little dejected.  For the first time, she looks down, and sees Amber's prone body, which seems to have followed her.  She walks over and, after a moment of contemplation, pokes her with the blunt end of the Deathscythe.

No response.

She pokes her again.

Zzzz.  But without the snoring.

Poke poke poke poke

SUDDENLY, THE WIKU WORM JUMPS FROM THE GROUND!!!!!!111!!1!

WIKU WORM: WIKU!!

[Fight: Wiku Worm]
Wiku Worm
Strength: ***
Speed: **
Durability: ?
Dexterity: *****
Agility: *
Size: Small
Weapon: Self
Special attacks:
-Touch: Damages on contact, can only be countered by striking first with enough power.
-Wiku: In constant use.  More annoying than anything else.
-Scoot: A sudden zip forward, as if things weren't chaotic enough already.
The background is an insane mess of other images and trippy psychadelia, interspersed with pictures of the Wiku Worm's face happily shouting "WIKU!" (as if there wasn't enough already) whenever a blow is struck by either side.
The music is a cacophony of high-paced techno and backwards singing.
You're fighting the Wiku Worm?  Are you nuts?!  Here – affectionately titled "Wiku World" – the Wiku Worm holds all the cards, even though she can't get her hands out past the sleeping bag.  She inches across the screen.  She causes damage on contact.  Her life meter does not go down.  She is unstoppable, and can only be held at bay.
Defeat is inevitable.
Unless, of course, you look at the background – as damage is done, the Wiku face's expression changes, going from mad glee (WIKU!) to surprise (WIKU?!) to confusion (WIKU?) to fear (Wiku...) to rage (WIKU!!) to unconsciousness (XP).
But dang, is it scary.

[In the battle's aftermath, we find a close-up of Repteal down on one knee, gripping the Scythe in both hands, eyes wide in a rare picture of total and utter terror.]
Repteal: A-as long... as I live...
?: What, too much?

[Repteal turns around.  A Dutch camera angle reveals she's not in the alley anymore, but she's not in the "generic background" place, either.  More than anything else, it resembles a medieval castle's main hall, although it's doubtful that many such rooms were this sparse or this covered with drawings of varying quality.

The rain from the alley continues.  Lightning flashes, cutting again to Amber - but not the Amber we saw before.  She was human, or a reasonable facsimile.  She wasn't green.  She didn't have antennae, wings or claws.  Next to having become a praying mantis, it hardly seems odd at all that her clothes have changed (blue jeans, solid black T-shirt).]

Amber: The castle.  Too over-the-top?
Repteal: Oh, don't worry, it suits you just fine.  Love the pictures.
[Suddenly, she looks disgusted, and glares at her author, who is writing on a notepad.]
Stop doing that.
Amber: What – writing you?
Well, if you insist.  Wish I could say it's been fun knowing you.
[She turns her pencil around to erase something.  Repteal quickly dashes over and knocks it out of her hand.]
Amber: Changed your mind?
Repteal: Just tell me already – what is it that you want?
Amber: Good question.  I'd rather like my mind back, I guess.  Regaining control and all that.
Repteal: Control?  You seem to be doing just fine.
Amber: Really.  It looks to me like I'm struggling to keep a few fictional characters I write in line.
Repteal: I thought the best characters wrote themselves.  I mean, talk about case in point.
Amber: Oh, they do, but six days a week can push it sometimes.
Repteal: Six?
Amber: What – not enough?
Repteal (Looking around): No, the hall's enough.
But as for you... I'd say you need a break.
And, mind, this is me, your chilling, remorseless sadist talking.
Amber: That's what they tell me.  My readers, that is.
(Eyes wide) You know what?  I DON'T CARE.
Repteal: [Raises eyebrow] You really are crazy.
Amber: Let's fix it, then.  Get back into your figurative box and follow my lead.
Repteal: No.
Amber: Think about it.  You'll be written coherently again.
Repteal: Coherently against character, sure.  I'd prefer not to be written at all.
Amber: [Drops into a southern Mantis stance] As you wish.

[Fight: Mantis Amber]
Mantis Amber
Strength: ***1/2
Speed: ****
Durability: ***
Dexterity: *****
Agility: ****
Size: Average
Weapon: Pencil
The gloves are off.  Amber has had enough.  Using the southern Mantis style of martial arts – or, more likely, something she just made up – in combination with lightning-fast speed and reflexes, Amber has determined that it WILL end here. (Her pencil is still blunt.)

[One awesome kung-fu-fight with lightning and cool backgrounds later, Amber lies on the floor, pencil and paper scattered around her.  Repteal – in very bad shape but on an adrenaline rush like no other – brings down the Deathscythe.

Freeze frame.]
-
Zoom out.  Not just from the characters.

From the hall.

From the picture.

From the paper the picture is drawn on.

Writing implements.

Desk.

Amber, in the flesh.

Amber (No text-box self): ...that wasn't supposed to happen.

[Gets up] Fine, then.  I'll show her.  I'll show them all!

[The mad author rummages around a pile of various objects, choosing something in front of her that we can't see for a moment.]

Them all, I say!

[She turns – keeping the object away from the camera – and goes back to her chair, one hand in an oven mitt.  For a moment, she stops, as if trying to remember something.  Then she spreads both arms out, laughing maniacally.]

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Zoom on her oven-mitted-hand and the eraser on it:]
ERASER OF DOOM
Do Not Touch
[She brings it down on the paper...]
-

[Final Battle: Eraser of Doom]
Eraser of Doom
Strength: ****
Speed: **
Durability: N/A
Dexterity: N/A
Agility: N/A
Size: Small
Weapon: Self
Special Attacks:
Touch: Damages on contact.
The gloves are on.  It's that dangerous.  The Eraser of Doom goes up and down from one side of the screen, working its way toward the player, with only a soft erasing noise in the background.  Contact causes damage.  Erased areas are off limits.  This time, there really is no way to hurt it, and defeat seems inevitable – until the Eraser of Doom hits Amber's body...

-
Suddenly, the artist had a non-fatal but nevertheless dehabilitating heart attack!

[Amber falls hammily to the ground.]

The real-world menace was no more.

Her characters could continue with their lives.

[Visuals shift to your average fighting game epilogue, monochrome pictures and all.]

Repteal went on to star in a remake of Sleeping Beauty.

She was one of the good fairies.

The number of near-deaths in its production was an all-time record.

[Credits]

[Final image: Repteal's entire "Selected" picture, rather than just a corner.]

-

Not the end...

[Caswin]

Confused?  I can't blame you.  What exactly was Amber doing?  Good question.  I'm convinced that at this point, anyone still reading just has a thing for "crack", as I believe the kids call it these days.  I hope this makes it slightly more coherent, if also more clearly half-baked.

As I said (and polled) before, Amber's story can be played through with any of the basic characters - and though it follows the same overall pattern, everyone interacts with her differently.  With Repteal, her stress-induced madness was emphasized.  Other play-throughs result in other little tidbits, most of them around the same point...
---
[Takes out a clackboard] Thorganthicus vs. Amber, Action! [Clack]

Amber: Really?  It looks to me like I'm struggling to keep a few fictional characters I write in line.
Heck, I'm struggling to write you people - not to mention drawing a few of you.
Thorganthicus: Like Abel, I suppose.
Amber: [Nods] Abel.  Dark Pegasus.  Graskall.
Thorganthicus: Taken out of the picture just to save you some drawing time.
Amber: Not just time.  Brainpower.  There's a fine art to art, and I was already losing it directing you.
Thorganthicus: You're insane.
Amber: Let's fix it, then.  Get back in your figurative box and follow my lead...
---
Pai Gon vs. Amber! [Clack]
Amber: Really?  It looks to me like I'm struggling to keep a few fictional characters I write in line.
Pai Gon: I suppose personally taking over for a few powerful characters didn't hurt.
Amber: Oh, you figured that out?  Nice going.  You out-of-continuity site characters always were a bit harder to control.
Pai Gon: I want my sister back, Amber.
Amber: Let's fix it, then...
---
Anthers! [Clack]
Amber: Really?  It looks to me like I'm struggling to keep a few fictional characters I write in line.
Anthicus: So you used mind control.  Nice.
Amber (Thumbs up, grinning): Effective, though!
Anthicus: There were four characters from my universe!  How did I get fought five different times?!
This "story" is crazy.
Amber: Let's fix it, then...
---
Mik-Mik! [Clack]
Amber: It looks to me like I'm struggling to keep a few fictional characters I write in line.
Mikelo: Okay... how about not?
Amber: Hmm?
Mikelo: I mean, isn't that how it normally works?  We do our own thing and you write that?
Amber (Deliberately, stressing every word): You would think so, wouldn't you?!
Let's fix it, then.
Mikelo: ...what?
Amber: Get back into your figurative box and follow my lead.
---
Still confused?  Totally understandable.  Yes, that's a plot thread you see dangling from Mikelo's version.  Just give me one more chapter.  The endgame cometh.

[Caswin]

DMFA: The Fighters (Working Title)

Amber's Story

[We immediately see Amber – human again, decked out in lilac and grey – lying facedown on the floor of the throne room-style place from her final battle with the cast.  After a still few moments, she turns over, snoring.]

Amber: ...couldn't we just talk...
...no, that doesn't work...
...hey, you can't...that doesn't fall under...
...!

[She snaps awake, raising herself on both hands, then immediately grabs her forehead, wincing as if she hit a bar hovering in front of her.]

Amber: Gaaahhhh...
I feel like I just got beaten up on thirteen similar planes of reality, each with minor differences setting them apart...
[Opens eyes] Oh.  Right.

[She painfully gets to her feet.]

Amber: Fluffy?
(Walking, still holding head) Where'd you go, Fluffy?
(Looking around) Come to think of it...

[Not looking where she's going, in perfect cliché fashion, she walks straight into someone nearly twice her size.]

Amber: You're not Fluffy.

[She backs off a few steps, finally raises her eyes and sees the unnerving face of Fa'Lina.]

Fa'Lina: Sorry to disappoint.
[The poodle-cubus suddenly poofs her fur out to a rather comical degree.]
Fa'Lina: Is this any better?
Amber: Er, not qu-
Fa'Lina: Oh, of course, how silly.  You meant this, didn't you?
[Almost instantly, she morphs into a perfect Fluffy duplicate, although she retains her yellow eyes and wide, unsettling grin.]
Fa'luffy: [Waves] Hi!
Amber: Um, yeah.  That's the Fluffy I'm looking for.
[She turns her head away, moving further with every sentence fragment.]
Although the last time I saw her smiling like that, I think I was being rushed to the hospital.
With a head injury.
Worse than this one.
That she inflicted...
[Turns forward again] Fa'Lina, would you be so kind as to stop manipulating my thoughts down disturbing paths?
Fa'luffy: Actually, that was you.
Amber: ...oh.  And I guess that wasn't you tormenting me in my dreams, either.
Fa'luffy: No, no, that was me.
And then you just had to go and wake up.  That was hardly cooperative of you.
Amber: And now I'm going to ruin your joke about fixing your Fluffy costume by hurting me.
Fa'luffy (Mock irritation): Hey, now, who's the mind-reader around here?
Amber: Who's the author?
Fa'luffy: Point.
[Eyes go solid white] What do you say we skip right to it?

[Fight: Fa'Lina]
Strength: ****
Speed: ***
Durability: ***
Dexterity: ****
Agility: ****
Size: Large
Weapon: Tentacles
Special attacks:
-Transform: Transforms into another character.  Weapons, however, are off-limits.
The headmistress of SAIA is a force to be reckoned with – well, you can try, at least.  She claims to be "semi-omnipotent"; whatever the veracity of that statement, Fa'Lina certainly seems strong enough to put down anybody who would challenge her – and that's without the constant shapeshifting.

Fa'Lina (Lying on the floor): I knew that was going to happen.
Amber: Yeah, yeah, you're semi-omnipotent.
(Thoughtful) Huh.  I wonder what that makes me.
Fa'Lina: A pawn?
Amber: [Lowers hand] ...what are you talking about?
Fa'Lina (Close-up on teeth): Not what, author...
Amber (Bored): ...but whom.  Right.  What happened to the policy of 'no stereotypes'?
Fa'Lina (Cheeky): Who's the author, here?
[Amber seems a bit taken aback.  Fa'Lina rolls onto her side to continue talking.]
If it's Fluffy you want, you may want to pay a visit to SAIA.
Amber: And what am I going to do with you?
Fa'Lina: [Shrugs] Think fast?
[A Warp-Aci – presumably Fu – cuts through the air and warps her away.]
Amber: ...
(Waving) Hey!  Warp-Aci!  Can I get a lift?
[Grumbles] Fine, sure, I'm the author and everything... ch-yah...
[And with a surprised expression on her face at her own last comment, she warps to...]
[Setting: SAIA]

[...specifically, the same dimly-lit computer lab Abel and Thorganthicus fought in.  Amber looks dizzy – too dizzy to see Fluffy working with a computer in the background.]
Amber: Oy.  Don't much like doing that...
[She shakes her head to clear it, and immediately clutches her forehead in pain.  Again.]
...that's even worse...
Hey!  Fluffy!  Are you in here?
[Fluffy, still in the background, cringes, evidently not wanting to be found.  Fortunately for her, someone else takes the opportunity to speak.]
?: Fluffy?  Sounds like someone my son would like.
Amber (Covering face in one hand): Oh, no.  Not you.
?: Don't tell me you're afraid...
Amber: Of drawing you?  Yeah.  Kind of.  Hence, the not looking.
[Something tall and shadowy – helped by the dim lighting – is moving closer.  Fluffy, meanwhile, is scrambling to get whatever she's doing done.]
?: I'm afraid you have little choice in the matter...
Amber: Look, Graskall.  I don't want any trouble.  I've gotten enough from the rest of my characters.  Just tell me where Fluffy–
[A large, red, scaly claw rests itself on Amber's shoulder.  Her resolve not to fight drains away instantly.]
Okay, it's on.

[Fight: Graskall]

[Graskall presumably lays defeated.  Amber has one foot resting on something, anyway.  Despite her victory, she looks resigned.]
Amber: Okay, don't tell me.  I missed her, and she's probably in Furrae.
Graskall: Actually, she's behind you.
[With what may go down as one of the most incredulous expressions in recorded history, Amber turns around and does indeed find Fluffy looking up at her.]
Amber: Fluffy, what are you doing here?
Fluffy: I was the leader of the rebellion against you.  You're crazy.  I don't have to answer any of your questions.
Amber: Uh... sorry?
Fluffy: [Pause] Touché.  What do you want?
Amber: An ice pack and a mug of cocoa.
That, and to find out why I've been fighting everyone I meet lately.
Graskall: That's why you should go to Furrae.
Amber: Uh-huh... not likely, demon.
First, cross-dimensional travel makes me dizzy.
Second, I just know someone's going to be waiting there to attack me.

Third,
[As she speaks, a Warp-Aci – unmistakably Fi, due in part to the banner reading 'FI LIVES' on its tail – zips in and sends Amber to Anthicus' room in the Academy.]
I'm starting to hate Warp-Aci.
[Sighs] Okay, Rebma, come on out.  I know you're there.  'You must fight all the bosses again' and all that.
[She pauses, waiting for something to happen.  Nothing does.]
Okay, maybe not.
C'mon, Fluffy, let's...
Fluffy?
[She looks down to where Fluffy should be.  Her disappearance seems to spark something.]
I really, REALLY hate Warp-Aci.
[A shadow – with, indeed, fae wings – looms behind her.]
Alright!  Let's get this over with!  Get out here, you little–
[The shadow, raising something to strike, looms just a bit too high.  She turns around in surprise.]
Wait, you're not–
[A blow to the head cuts her off.  Fade to black.

Fade back in.  Same setting.  Same conscious Amber.  Same head injury.]
Amber: Et tu, PG?
Pai Gon: My sister's busy recovering from a WEB-14 beating, if that's what you're wondering about.
Who would've guessed our ratings would average out like that?
Amber: No one, because it's not true.  Your rating should have taken priority.
Pai Gon: And yet it happened.  Explain that.
[Amber raises a finger, begins to explain, and falls flat.]
Who's the author?  Not you, apparently.
Amber: I'm... not?
Pai Gon: I lied.  The reason I'm here instead of Rebma is that, frankly, I don't like the way you've been running things lately.
Amber: I blame stress.
Pai Gon: Before that, Amber.  Yes, my limits are tested by people who push the PG limit into 14 territory.
You're supposed to discourage those people.  You're certainly not supposed to be one of them.
[Amber looks confused.  She thinks back for a moment, then looks embarrassed.]
Amber: [Sheepishly makes universal "a little" hand sign] Just a little?
[Pai Gon is not amused.]

[Fight: Pai Gon]

[Pai Gon supports herself with one wobbly arm on Anthicus' table, refusing to give up.]
Pai Gon: It's not over yet...
[Suddenly, she loses her balance and falls onto a seat.]
Amber: It's over.  Where's Fluffy, and why are you and everyone else I meet attacking me?
Pai Gon: [Sighs] Fluffy is in the next room.
[On cue, Fluffy walks in, eating a rice cake.]
Never could see the appeal in those, myself.  Too salty.  Ugh.
Amber: [Stares at Fluffy] What.
Fluffy: [Shrugs] Just curious.
[She takes another bite.  Amber turns her head and looks back at Pai Gon.]
Amber: Alright, that answers that.  And the constant fighting?
Pai Gon: Just following orders.  Ideally, you'd be in custody right now.
Amber: [Sits on a chair and leans forward] Whose custody?
[VWOOMP!  A star-shaped flash of light, and Amber is gone.  Pai Gon smiles.]
Pai Gon: His.

-

[Cut to a darkened room.  All that's visible, at first, is a catwalk, barely illuminated by a string of lights going around it and the stage it juts out from.  Suddenly, a series of bright lights snap on, revealing Amber, sitting in a front-row seat, and an empty space at the catwalk's front.  After recovering from the glare, she arches an eyebrow as nothing seems to happen.]
?: Too much?
[Startled, she twists in her seat to see someone reclining next to her.  Only his (black) pants are visible at the moment.]
?: Hm... not enough, actually.
[He touches his feet to the floor.  This, evidently, is enough to allow him to jump from his seat, through the air, catch the edge of the catwalk, and flip dead center into the lit area.  In the light, he is revealed to be a humanoid lynx – grey fur with black markings, tall and lanky, wearing a forest green t-shirt and a smug, i-pwnz-j00 expression.  He strikes a cool-looking battle-ready pose.]
?: Perfect.
[Amber just stares at him, cocking an eyebrow in confusion.]
Amber: Who are you?
[The lynx looks right back.]
?: Call me Caswin.

[Pause.  Dropping the pose, if not the vanity, he sits on the edge of the platform, legs folded.  The remaining lights come on, revealing the setting to be a fairly small auditorium.  A curtain covers the stage.]
Caswin: Sorry about zapping you here like that.  It's not the way I would have chosen.
Amber: Yeah.  And me being knocked out and dragged here by Graskall would be preferable... how?
Caswin: [Shrugs] It would be slightly less contrived.
Amber: Than what?
Caswin: Teleporting you by author's prerogative.
The plot must go on, no matter how shaky.
Amber: So you're the author I've heard so much about.
Caswin: That's me.  This out-of-character, action-packed, oft-incoherent web of plots you've found yourself tangled up at the center of?
Yeah.  My bad.
Amber: I'm not just here so you can say you're sorry a few times, am I?
Caswin: Not exactly, no.
I should.  You've made quite a comic.  No, scratch that, you've made quite a few comics.
[He drops down, pacing, still talking – monologuing, really.]
And now I've gone and messed it up.  Fa'Lina is insane.  Repteal is incompetent.  You're insane AND incompetent.
[Slaps hand to cheek, feigning shock] Goodness, Amber, what will the readers think...
[Amber, back in frame, has already tuned out his short little rant with the aid of a JyCorp-produced iMow and is happily doing 'The Monkey' in her seat, evidently oblivious.  Caswin, speech derailed, stands there, staring and gaping slightly.]
Amber (Still dancing): They'll call you a mediocre fanfiction author.
Caswin: ...you are a worthy opponent, Amber.

But!  If this is all an irrelevant story by my hand...
[He clicks the button on a projector switch that wasn't there before.  A group of pictures of Amber's brief live-action appearance covers the screen.]
Caswin (Offscreen): Explain this.  I'd say that looks like you writing up those crazy adventures.
Amber (Defensive): That doesn't prove anything.
Caswin: No?  Are you sure?  How about yourself, then?
Amber: Yo.
Caswin: If all this is really an elaborate hoax...
What does that make you?
[Pause.]
Amber: Another author's pipe dream.
Caswin: Could be.
Or... you could actually be here, giving me admittedly effective responses like that.
So, for the fate of your canon and readership: is that your final answer, Amber?
[Another pause.  Amber is looking less sure.]
Amber: Let's say you are telling the truth, and my continuity is totaled.  Why?
Caswin: Because I want to let you know that I can fix it.
[Amber pauses again, not deeming that much of an answer.]
Amber: How?
Caswin: Details, here and there.  Mostly from your comic, which I've made a point of knowing inside and out.
Amber: Go on...
Caswin: I'm not about to let you in on all my secrets just like that.
I'm sure you'll understand, though, that in order to actually fix anything, I'm going to need a bit more creative control.

Amber: "Creative control".
Caswin: Uh-huh.  I mean–
Amber: Nonono.  You want me to give you control over my writing?
Caswin: Over your writing, characters, the worlds you've created...
[Catches self] Just so I can fix them, of course.
Amber: Maybe fix a few mistakes I made while you're at it, I suppose?
[Pause]
Caswin: Okay.  You've obviously–
Amber: All those battles, all the breaking character, all that time devoted to me supposedly writing it while getting me beaten into unconsciousness across a dozen or more timelines...
Caswin: ...was an elaborate blackmail scheme.
[The camera keeps on him again.  As he speaks, he starts clicking that projector button again, revealing silhouette-ridden flashbacks.]

Caswin: I'll admit it.  I'm not a great writer.  I came within a hair's breadth of failing fourth grade English because I couldn't come up with a story.
But I wasn't completely hopeless.  I found that I was good at taking what existed and making it better – or, at least, different.
I could use other people's stuff.  And I could choreograph a good action scene.
But I wanted more.
And then I saw your comic.  Characters both original and made your own.  And Furrae itself, a world so complex, with so much backstory it spilled into forum trivia.
Can you blame a guy for wanting a piece of it?
[Amber re-enters the shot, again listening to an iMow, this time actually dancing on top of her chair with great enthusiasm.  Caswin steps onto the seat next to her and pulls her headphones off.]
Caswin: Cut that out.
Amber: Done angsting?
Caswin: Envy, scheming, power play, I created DMFATFWT, continuity go boom.  You have no way out but me.

[Amber blinks.]
Amber: You're sure bout that?  Mind letting me see the script?
Caswin: Go nuts.
[From nowhere in particular, he hands her a pile of papers.  She sits on top of her chair, skims a few pages and smiles.]
Amber: Know my work back to front, eh?
Caswin: I believe I said 'inside and out'.
Amber: Then you'll be familiar with Miss Mab: Master of Convenience.
[Mab pops up in the aisle behind her.]
Mab: Hiyo!
[If we could see Caswin's skin, the blood would be draining out of it.  This was not in the plan.  Amber calmly hands her furry avatar the script.]
Amber: Do you think you could reconcile this with the original continuity?
Mab: Will do.
[She begins speed-reading – not, it should be noted, scrying – through, deep in concentration.  Back to Caswin, visibly nervous, desperately forming a plan and counting on his fingers with every bit as much intensity as Mab.]

Caswin: Furry purplefae Mab with tendency to hug/glomp/embrace everyone divided by coefficient of own removed presence...
...plus 1/2 Mikelo and unique "huggle magnet" quality to plushie power... plus me and hug evasion; we'll call that zero for short notice...
[Mab has finished.  She takes a moment longer to process it, antennae glowing brighter, then takes a deep breath.]
Mab: I think if you got that "hammer brother" outfit out and–
Caswin (Offscreen): Hey!  Mab!  Look!
[Mab looks.  Caswin is holding a near life-size Mikelo plushie, held out to one side.]
Caswin: It's
[ZING!!  A purple blur shoots straight at the plushie (she's a rocket Mab!).  Caswin himself is knocked backwards and tumbles off the seat, only to flawlessly roll, rise again, and turn his head to a Mab/Mikelo-shaped opening in the wall.]
Caswin (Grinning): Inside and out.

Amber: [Glasses fall down a notch] Where did you get a life-sized stuffed Mikelo toy?
Caswin: That's the great thing about self-insertion fanfiction.
Anything I want – mess with the story, boom, there it is.  Author's prerogative.
Toy? [He holds up a Mikelo doll.]
Change of scenery? [The curtain opens, revealing a black void.]
Anthicus' mind.  It really is empty, after all. [It closes.]
Amber (Eyebrow): The favor of a canon character?
Caswin: I like to think that bit was actually in-character.

Amber (Incredulous): And you'll be writing for my comic.
Caswin: Well, having exhausted all other possibilities...
Amber: I'm still thinking.  How would you like a retroactive guest comic?
[Considering his lofty goal of co-authorship, Caswin's enthusiastic response seems odd.]
Caswin: Very much so!
Amber: [Smiles evilly] Great.  You can have #429.
[Strip #429 appears onstage.  Caswin's name is indeed inserted in the blanks.]
Caswin: aka "The" guest comic.  Ha ha.  Funny.  No dice.
Amber: I kid, I kid.  I do, however, think you'd fit well in the "What Makes a Comic Great" saga.
Caswin: [Nods] Logical.  Lots of fourth-wall-pushing there anyway.
Amber: ...towards the end.  #189?
[#189 also appears up there.]
Caswin (Getting annoyed): The infamous shonen-ai twist.
Did you plan on making a sincere suggestion at some point?
Amber: Hey, it ceases to have happened two seconds later when...
[She pauses, realizing.]
...I'm strangled by my own mouse-cord...
...THAT mouse cord...
[Caswin finishes for her, aware that he won't be able to stop her from figuring out the rest.]
Caswin: The great continuity-nullifier.  Some of the same technology went into your Eraser of Doom, if I'm not mistaken.
Amber: I would've lost more if Fluffy hadn't pulled it off.  She even tried to cover it up.
That's it, isn't it?  You were going to use the mouse to rework...
Caswin: ...yeah, pretty much everything, really; maybe you with it for good measure.
Amber: First, stop finishing my sentences with death threats.
Second, leave me out of your life's plans, you little weirdo.

[She walks off toward the stage.  Caswin follows on the catwalk.]
Caswin: It's a bit late for that.
Amber: I'll take my chances.  I'll call a hiatus if I have to – assuming I keep to the assumption that I do have to.
I might not.  You didn't think this all the way through, did you?
Caswin: [Sighs] No, not quite.  So much for dramatic irony.
That's what the old-fashioned way is for, I guess.
Amber (Climbing onstage): Gee, I wonder what that could be.
Caswin: A display of utter immaturity.  It's ageless.
[Reaches the stage himself] Now what would a godmoding 'cubus do in this situation?
[Offstage, Amber finds a door.  Specifically, she finds it locked.]
Caswin (Walking toward her, again counting on fingers): Give myself a spiffy new form and unfair powers, play some half-baked mind games...
Then decide 'to heck with it', start blatantly godmoding, kill you and take your place.
[He takes out a pencil, scarily pointy.]  Should've let me be co-author.

[Amber hasn't turned from working on the door.  She stops, still facing away, moves a step back, takes out her pencil, and twirls it once in her hand.  Then she speaks, with unrivaled vehemence, the same sentiment on the minds of everyone who's gotten this far:]
Amber: This.  Story.  Must.  END.
[She flips around and charges, driven by everything that's happened to her and her work in this game.  Caswin stands to meet her, easily matching her determination, wanting power over her comic as much as she wants to protect it.  Somehow, she traverses half the length of the stage in about three steps, dragging her pencil across the curtain as she goes.  It tears, falling away, revealing...]

[Select a stage.]

[ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN FOR THE FATE OF THE INTERNET: Caswin]
Caswin
Strength: ****
Speed: ****
Durability: ****
Dexterity: ****
Agility: ****
Size: Average
Weapon: Pencil
Congratulations on making it this far.  Welcome to your doom.  Caswin possesses above-average stats in every area, and in an even fight, will more than likely bring any given opponent down hard.  However, anybody with the skill and fortitude to even reach him isn't going to go down that easily.  Weather the storm and keep on your toes...

[Caswin leans against the door Amber was having trouble with before, panting, covered here and there with bandages, barely supporting himself on the handle.]
Caswin: Impossible... I'm supposed to choose what happens...
[Amber strides toward him, unhurt, unrelenting.  He presses back against the door, scrabbling for the handle as she comes near.]
Amber: An author does that, true.  There's just one question, Caswin:
(Pointing the pencil at his face) Who's the author here?
[Pause]
Caswin (suddenly resolute): I am.
[He pushes down on the handle.  It opens.  He tumbles back and it closes behind him.

Suddenly, we're in a computer room.  Where is uncertain.  Why will be clear soon enough.  He sits down at a chair and begins typing something we can't see.]
Caswin: Well-played, Amber.  I made a few mistakes; you exploited them beautifully.
Let's see how you do in Aaryanna's class of pain and terror...
[No good can come of this.  It looks like things will finish the way he wants them.  His fur stands on end.  Apparently, the fur on his head is pretty long...
No.  Fluffy is standing on the back of his chair.  She brings up a computer mouse cord.  Caswin is too absorbed to notice until she whips it around his neck, catches it in another paw, and turns to the camera.]
Fluffy: Remember, kids: Playing God is wrong and should be left to a professional!
[She turns to Caswin.] I've seen your work.  You don't qualify.

[She pulls.  Fade to white.]

[Cut to Aaryanna holding Amber up with two of her tentacles, the rest of them in the shape of a rug-beater, a cheese grater, and various other potentially nasty objects in a twisted parody of Abel's sword display.  Fade to white.]

[Cut to Mantis Amber kung-fu fighting Repteal.  Fade to white.]

[Cut to Pai Gon attacking Jyrras.  Fade to white.]

[Mikelo defeating Graskall.  Fade to white.]

[Abel leaping at Thorganthicus.  Fade to white.]

[Repteal forced on the defensive by Pip: gone.]

[Anthicus fighting Thorganthicus: gone.]

[Drill sergeant Fluffy: gone.]

[The Character Select menu, replete with secret characters...]

Onscreen text: Just kidding...

[Fade to black.]

[Fade in.  We see Amber, asleep in bed.  Fluffy opens the door to her bedroom.]
Fluffy: Hey!  Time to wake up!
[She rolls over, bunching up the covers.  Fluffy walks forward, pressing her attack.]
Fluffy: Beep beep.  The stupid bus is here for you, Amber.
[Amber rolls over, eyes suddenly wide open.]
Fluffy: Okay, not really.  But that's no reason to sleep the day away!  Move it!  Rise and shine!  Ariiise!...
[Amber claps a pillow over her head.]
Fluffy: C'mon!  People to see!  Stuff to draw!
Amber (Mumbling): I retconned the ebil drawing...
Fluffy: Don't make me come over there!
[Fluffy walks over and pulls the blankets off.  Daytime clothes, same as a minute ago.]
Fluffy: Long night?
Amber: [Sits up and looks down] You don't know the half of it.

[Fight: Fluffy]

[After an easy battle, Fluffy stumbles out the door, woozy]
Fluffy: You're right... sleep is good...
Amber (Up): It's overrated.
[She goes over to a desk, located conveniently in the same room, sits down, and abruptly falls asleep on it.  Life goes on.]

[Credits]

[Final scene: A crudely-drawn but clearly joyous picture of Amber, next to a big old "THE END".]
Amber (Voiceover): Needs more cowbell.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

You're right. It needs more cowbell. :-)


Well done, Caswin. The ending was almost worth the effort of reading through pages and pages of text :-)

[Caswin]

Well done, Caswin. The ending was almost worth the effort of reading through pages and pages of text :-)

...guess I can take that...

Seriously.  I know it's not that good, needs either more or less direction, would have probably been better off played for comedy, and is overall one very half-baked idea, but I know I have more people reading than that.  300 pageviews can't all be wrong.  So today, on the anniversary of Mab's Land's last update, I ask the assembled crack-readers of this forum: what do you think?

Incentive: Comments get a blooper reel that's just as poorly-thought-out as the rest of the story.  On the other hand, if someone other than Aridas or Llearch doesn't respond, I'm afraid I'll have to go emo on you, and that just wouldn't be fun.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

No, seriously, it was great.

The pages and pages and pages is just how much you have. Since there's no contents page, or anything like that, and no looking at how thick the script is beforehand, it's just a bit of a surprise at how far one needs to scroll...

[Caswin]

The pages and pages and pages is just how much you have. Since there's no contents page, or anything like that

Done and done.

Now, anyone else?  Or must I unleash the whiny Livejournaler inside?

[Caswin]

Well, can't say you weren't warned.  Now it's time to open up a can of emo on y'all.

...

Blaaaargh.  And I'm usually better on following up on my threats, too.  [Sigh]  Anyway, I call this little collection "why this game took a year to finish".  I fear for my own sanity.

[Boop]
-
Repteal: Similis l'tan nectar... I said nectar, didn't I.
[Take 2.]
Similis 'tan nectar... [Beep, laughter]
[Take 3,  Repteal seems considerably more focused.]
Similis l'tan necto mentos!  The freshmaker! [The Deathscythe turns into a Mentos roll, which she thrusts toward the camera.  Beep, cutaway.]
-
[Pip charges through the door on Anthicus' hallucination.  While Boko reacts with adequate surprise, Anthicus drops to his knees, grabs him by whatever passes for his shoulders and channels Jim Carrey.]
Anthicus: What is it, Pip?  Did Mikelo fall down the old well?!
-
[Boko, post-Pip-battle, hugs Anthicus unenthusiastically.]
Boko (Monotone): Yaaay.
[Take 2.  Boko, much more enthusiastic, glomps at Anthicus, eyes closed...]
Boko: Yay Anthers!
[...and misses, almost tripping.]
[Cut to Boko, between takes, plotting out a course towards Anthicus, explaining against background babble.]
Boko: Sorry, I'm kind of new at this...
-
[Same general scene, still between takes.  Boko mugs for the camera, ridiculously cute chibifying contacts in place, lip shaking.]
Boko: Pwweeeeeaaaaase?
-
[Repteal is in front of the (still bluescreened) Dimensional Gate, gesturing and flinging her arms about in a classic display of Shakespearean overacting.]
Repteal: Dare I enter?  Dare I not?  Is this a threshold to a new life, that I see before me?  What lies unforeseeable beyond the barrier?  What have I to lose - or to gain?...
-
Repteal: So I'm a tense, nervous wreck.  There are ways around that, aren't there?
[At an implied mental command, the Deathscythe twists into a butterfly net.  After pausing long enough for the camera to pan down, she finally looks at it.]
Repteal: What?  No!  [Shaking it]  Bad!  Bad Deathscythe!
-
[Enter Repteal on a motionless Anthicus, Pip in his hand.]
Repteal: That was fast.
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: [Sighs] Okay, how'd you get here this fast?
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: Thorganthicus didn't last *that* long, did he?
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: What - fell into a portal somewhere and wound up in the right place?  Trust me, I can relate.
Anthicus: ...
Repteal: ...
You make me sad.
So be it!  [Grabs Pip] Come, Patsy!
[She skips offscreen, knocking the Deathscythe against the wall at a steady rhythm.  Half the crew falls over laughing, including the real, just off-set Anthicus.]
-
Lilithin: Thorganthicus, you didn't eat every muffin in the house and then hide the only remaining one in an obscure corner of a different room before sending me to find you a muffin so you could keep me distracted while you talked alone to that strange shadowy person you never tell me anything about, did you?
Thorganthicus: ...no.
Lilithin: Okay, just wondering. ^^ [She hands him the muffin, and pauses.] Was that good? [Pauses again, then starts to dance in midair] One!  Take!  One!  Take!...
-
[Mikelo stares down Pip.  Suddenly, he lunges, grabbing the Oreo box... and swings it downward, jarring Pip loose.]
Mikelo: Oops.
[Take two.  Mikelo lunges, grabs, pulls back... and accidentally knocks Pip against a cabinet.]
Mikelo: Sorry!
[Take three.  They stare each other down... and Pip just flies straight at him, teeth bared, chasing him off-camera.]
Mikelo: Aaaaaaaaaugh!
-
[Breakfast table.  Anthicus' rant continues, uncut.]
Anthicus: One of these days, I'm going to take that Drake and wring his little yellow neck.  That probably means I'll have to wring his entire body, since you can't really tell where the neck ends and his body begins.  Just to be safe.  Pip has interfered with my plans and kept me awake all night for the last time.  Someday, it's going to be him on this plate.  I like to think I'm a well-adjusted enough guy, but...
Boko: You're not. [Sip]
-
[Mikelo has just escaped the pseudo-Jenny plant.  No glowing eyes; presumably, the effects were added later.]
Anthicus: Well-played.  I really thought I had you there.
Mikelo: What...
[Anthicus, a strange look on his face, responds using his finger as a puppet, speaking in a bizarrely skewed voice.]
Anthicus: Anthers isn't here right now, Mr. Turratel...
-
[Prepare for the fight scene!  Repteal charges at Anthicus, "Coming Atcha" - and connects, having forgotten to act fatigued, Scythe stuck (blunt) in his fur.  He blinks, then enthusiastically punches the air.]
Anthicus: Floof saves the day again!
[Take 2.  Later in the fight, Mikelo makes a grab for Repteal as she staggers back, and wouldn't you know it, he successfully catches her by the legs.]
Mikelo (Holding on, shifty-eyed): She's mine!  Mineminemine!
Repteal: Ironic...
-
[Between takes again.  Anthicus, splotched with fake blood, stalks after a "battle damaged" Repteal, who does indeed look like she's been running from zombies all day and is using the Deathscythe as a cane.]
Anthicus: Braaains... braaaaains...
-
[Repteal finishes leeching Mikelo's healing spell away, fully charged once again, to Anthicus' detriment.]
Mikelo: You...
Repteal: What can I say?  Life gives you lemons... ooh, there's an idea.
[She reaches over to one of the vines hanging around from Anthicus' freeing of Mikelo and pulls a lemon away, splitting it and rubbing it against the gash in Anthicus' back.]
Anthicus: Gaaah!  It burns!  Lemon, why hast thou forsaken me?!
[Mikelo runs toward her.  Repteal shoves him back.]
Repteal: Go back to your corner!  Here, have a lemon!
[She throws a lemon after him.  Pan over to him as, ticked, he converts it into a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick and throws it back in her general direction.  Klunk.]
Repteal: Why, you little-!
[Repteal lunges - and Anthicus catches her, grabbing a lemon of his own!]
Anthicus: Eat... lemons... and die!
[Beep, cut away.]
-
[Rebma lies defeated and half-conscious against her snipin' tree.  Pai Gon approaches, wand raised, panting.]
Pai Gon: I would have waited an eternity for this... it's over, sister.
[Rebma snorts.]
-
[Amber, introducing herself to the cast, raises her pencil into the air.]
Amber: This... is my BOOMSTICK!
-
[The Wiku Worm - not Amber - scoots across the stage between takes.]
Wiku Worm: Wiku wiku wiku wiku...
-
Amber: Fa'Lina, would you be so kind as to stop manipulating my thoughts down disturbing paths?
Fa'lina: Actually, that was you... THIS is disturbing!
[She gestures, performing some kind of mind trick.  Pause.  A huge smile slowly creeps onto Amber's face, causing Fa'Lina to look disturbed and slowly back away.]
-
Caswin: Hm... not enough, actually.
[He touches his feet to the floor.  This, evidently, is enough to allow him to jump from his seat, through the air, catch the edge of the catwalk, and suddenly find himself hopelessly tangled upside-down in the wires holding him up, swinging slowly back and forth.]
Caswin: Perfect.
-
Amber: All those battles, all the breaking character, all that time devoted to me supposedly writing it while getting me beaten into unconsciousness across a dozen or more timelines...
Caswin: ...was just me messing around.  I mean, it was just a joke.  It's not my fault that you've decided to get all mad about it.  Stop taking things so seriously.
[Beat]
Amber: Twink Territories called.  They want their leader back.
-
Fluffy: Don't make me come over there!
[She pulls the covers away.  Amber, try as she might to flail away, comes with them...]
Fluffy: [Just stands there, transfixed] Not good.
[And, just before impact, beep away.]
-
Hello?  (Hello?  Hello?  Hello?...)

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

scene involving entire cast and crew sneaking out one side while Fluffy wanders in the other, looking for everyone?

[Caswin]

scene involving entire cast and crew sneaking out one side while Fluffy wanders in the other, looking for everyone?

Sorry if it wasn't clear - that bit was actually me and my echo (which is really hard to get across with that blasted size-changing function gone).

I'd like to give a big thanks to one of exactly two people to admit they're reading my stuff.  I don't think I have any more ideas (I've considered cast interviews, but that's about the stage where I'd start fearing for my own sanity), and I'd need Slipdance or some other fighting game aficionado to take what I have anywhere (which was actually the original plan) so... have a cookie.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Might I suggest talking to Gareeku? He might have an idea... :-)