Demonology 101 update. (Phoenix A/Gryphon C)

[Amber Williams]

http://www.missmab.com/Demo/phoenixa.php

Okay you little typo monkeys! Find em!

I should warn that my "T" key has been dying for a while now so be on the lookout for words that are missing em.

If all goes well, I'll be getting Gryphon C up tonight or tomorrow as well.

[Tapewolf]

In the first paragraph, the sentence beginning "That phoenix" has a lowercase 'p' whereas all the other instances of the word begin with a capital letter.  Apart from that quibble, it looks good to me.

I'd still like to know if Fi's age is a typo though 

[Amber Williams]

No. No it's not. 

[Tapewolf]

No. No it's not. 

In that case I'd be interested to know how come Fi remembers events from before its birth/summoning/inception.  Assuming that isn't a secret

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I bet you would. ;-]


Ah.. in that last sentence, "the only ones who ever speak of her" - do you, perchance, mean that "the only ones who claim to have seen her" ? Since, obviously, if anyone else knows of the name, someone has spoken about it...

[Tapewolf]

I bet you would. ;-]

Naturally.  I could shove it down the throat of the next person who invokes Occam's Razor 

Starting to get into nitpicking territory here, but sometimes the Phoenix race is described as singular and sometimes plural.  e.g. "The Phoenix A race is incredibly smart" vs "The Phoenix A race are all comprised of females."

[Amber Williams]

In that case I'd be interested to know how come Fi remembers events from before its birth/summoning/inception.  Assuming that isn't a secret

You seem to assume that Fi has only been summoned once.  Or that Fi's age is in reference to something other than his most recent physical manifestation.

[Zedd]

I feel as I learned something...

[Tapewolf]

You seem to assume that Fi has only been summoned once.

The demonology says that if the Warp-Aci has been destroyed, it is bound to the plane until the summoner dies.  I was not aware it was possible to un-summon them like that.  Although I suppose I should have thought of it.

Anyway, thanks for the answer/hints... especially since this isn't really the place for it.  Maybe this bit should be spliced onto the 'Something doesn't add up' thread...

[thegayhare]

You seem to assume that Fi has only been summoned once.  Or that Fi's age is in reference to something other than his most recent physical manifestation.

I figured it was something along those lines

[GabrielsThoughts]

I like the time chaser theory of Fi better, it leaves a bigger hole in the plot . 


and if Dan was the most recent summoner that would make fi younger, unless the transference from Fa'lina to Dan doesn't require the dis assimilation of Fi. 

[Alondro]

*Charles hmms*  Interesting about Pandora... though I highly doubt knowing when and how I'm going to die would phase me.

I've known 'how' for a long time now, and the 'when' could be the very next moment, so knowing I have any time left at all would be comforting!

*glances at Charline fearfully*  

[Fuyudenki]

cool.  If it weren't an all-female race, I'd be tempted to switch my "alignment" to type-A Phoenix, now.

come to think of it, I do play female characters with startling frequency...(if I've gotta stare at the character's backside through the entire game, it may as well be a backside that I find pleasant to stare at!)

On the topic of predictions of doom, I don't know if Pandora's predictions are particularly horrifying, but after watching Big Fish, I decided I agree: if you know the place, time, and manner of your death, you can pretty much be assured invincibility before then.  To me, it's like free reign to go play in traffic.

[Amber Williams]

On the topic of predictions of doom, I don't know if Pandora's predictions are particularly horrifying, but after watching Big Fish, I decided I agree: if you know the place, time, and manner of your death, you can pretty much be assured invincibility before then.  To me, it's like free reign to go play in traffic.

Too bad the process of learning it drives you completely insane.

It isn't the fact you know your time/place of death that drives you crazy, it's the manner in which you learn.

[Zedd]

On the topic of predictions of doom, I don't know if Pandora's predictions are particularly horrifying, but after watching Big Fish, I decided I agree: if you know the place, time, and manner of your death, you can pretty much be assured invincibility before then.  To me, it's like free reign to go play in traffic.

Too bad the process of learning it drives you completely insane.

It isn't the fact you know your time/place of death that drives you crazy, it's the manner in which you learn.

My inner child weeps 

[Fuyudenki]

On the topic of predictions of doom, I don't know if Pandora's predictions are particularly horrifying, but after watching Big Fish, I decided I agree: if you know the place, time, and manner of your death, you can pretty much be assured invincibility before then.  To me, it's like free reign to go play in traffic.

Too bad the process of learning it drives you completely insane.

It isn't the fact you know your time/place of death that drives you crazy, it's the manner in which you learn.

I guessed as much.  Otherwise, she wouldn't be nearly as frightening as the Demonology entry makes her out to be.

[Timothy]

uga uga 

"... the Phoenix A race doesn't have much of a history."

"Pandora is reborn with the exact same form and the exact same purpose."

"... will refrain from fighting in any means."
Not sure on that one but sounds odd to me ... maybe "by any means" or "in any way" sounds better ?

[stiletto]

In the very bottom right, the category is listed as:

"Back to Top
Demonology 101 - Phoenix (B)"

Should be Phoenix (A)

[SpottedKitty]

It isn't the fact you know your time/place of death that drives you crazy, it's the manner in which you learn.

I have a mental image of her singing the prophecy (in the key of Off), with backing vocals from a choir of American Idol rejects...

[Regal]

*Charles hmms*  Interesting about Pandora... though I highly doubt knowing when and how I'm going to die would phase me.

In that case, it's tonight at 3:47am, steamroller accident.

[Azlan]

I like your Phoenix Oracles, they have lots of props for the plot department.

[Goatmon]

<----- half phoenix.

Oh god yes.  Say, Amber, I don't suppose Pandora has a phone number?  Fax?  Email?   

[Zedd]

<----- half phoenix.

Is the other half chicken? *flees*

[Alondro]

*Charles hmms*  Interesting about Pandora... though I highly doubt knowing when and how I'm going to die would phase me.

In that case, it's tonight at 3:47am, steamroller accident.

My only regret is I won't live to find out how they got a steamroller onto the 7th floor of our lab building.   

[Zedd]

*Charles hmms*  Interesting about Pandora... though I highly doubt knowing when and how I'm going to die would phase me.

In that case, it's tonight at 3:47am, steamroller accident.

My only regret is I won't live to find out how they got a steamroller onto the 7th floor of our lab building.   

LIER!

[Amber Williams]

http://www.missmab.com/Demo/gryphonc.php

I think I fixed all the typos in Phoenix A.  So here's Gryphon C for you peeps to tear apart.  Go go go!

[LionHeart]

Weaknesses: Dumb. As. Doornail.

I think that should either be "As. A. Doornail." or "As. Dumb. As. Doornails."

In the same section:

...as they tend to have an attention span of a gnat.

Probably would be "...the attention span of a gnat."

Towards the end, last paragraph:

...to get chomped mid-producion.

I assume that should be "production".

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

In the "Strengths" section:

Gryphon C types tangling with a dragon and giving the dragon a run for it's money

it is? Or "its'" ?

There's also two full stops at the end of that paragraph.

in Weaknesses:

race isn't considered a big a threat as they could be is

"as big a threat as they could be" might be a better way of phrasing it.



Finally, most of the way through you seem to use ellipses with no spaces after them. Normal typographical convention recommends treating an ellipsis as the end of a sentence; ie, use either a single or double space, as you would at the end of any other sentence.

[superluser]

Finally, most of the way through you seem to use ellipses with no spaces after them. Normal typographical convention recommends treating an ellipsis as the end of a sentence; ie, use either a single or double space, as you would at the end of any other sentence.

You're actually supposed to space an ellipsis over three em spaces.  Thus, `. . . ' (Yeah, those are normal spaces.  I'm not aware of a way to do em-spaces in HTML.)

[Tezkat]

The three Gryphon races have always lived together as far as their records go

This statement is confusing. Do you mean "as far back as their records go" or something more along the lines of "according to their records"?

it seems their historical note is almost interlocked.

I find it weird to see the term "historical note" used in this way. Maybe replace it with "it seems that their histories are interlocked" or even the stronger "their histories seem interlocked" (or "intertwined").

It has been documented a few times of

That sounds like an ESL construct. Substitute "There have been a few reported cases of" or something similar.


There are a lot of comma issues, too, but I'm too lazy to list them all.

<----- half phoenix.

Is the other half chicken? *flees*

Ooooh... vampire is a much better pairing! Coupling phoenix flames with vampiric vulnerabilities could lead to an endless cycle of resurrections followed by spontaneous combustion, thus creating an infinite source of emo angst. Enterprising Cubi could then tap this power supply and rule the world!

Er... yeah...

You seem to assume that Fi has only been summoned once.  Or that Fi's age is in reference to something other than his most recent physical manifestation.

Hmm... interesting... I think this is the first time I've seen you refer to Fi as a male. All the other official sources have referenced the Warp-Aci with gender-neutral pronouns. Could be a slip, but is it normal for Warp-Aci to have a preferred gender?

In my own Furrae fanfic/RP writing, I've followed the original model and consistently described Warp-Aci as genderless. I'll admit that it can get a bit awkward at times...

On the topic of predictions of doom, I don't know if Pandora's predictions are particularly horrifying, but after watching Big Fish, I decided I agree: if you know the place, time, and manner of your death, you can pretty much be assured invincibility before then.  To me, it's like free reign to go play in traffic.

Too bad the process of learning it drives you completely insane.

It isn't the fact you know your time/place of death that drives you crazy, it's the manner in which you learn.

Heh. What percentage of Pandora visits lead to suicide? Most literary examples of death prophecy-induced insanity seem to end up that way...

"You don't see yet, Genry, why we perfected and practice Foretelling?"
"No--"
"To exhibit the perfect uselessness of knowing the answer to the wrong question."