[Story] The Future History of Jakob Pettersohn (11/Jul/09 - Final Chapter)

[Cogidubnus]

The interlocks in robo-Keaton, Dorcan, Joshua and Ephrael only work on members of Jakob's clique, or at least, people with the right RFID tag (worn or implanted for the living, built-in to the robots).  Remember that Eph is in the same boat now - in an earlier draft she left in this very episode, but I decided to postpone it for a while.  Eph and robo-Keaton would be able to kill anyone else, unless they did what Jakob threatened to do and turn her actuators way down.  In BotM, Dorcan hasn't yet killed anyone himself, but he can and has already shot one of the Brotherhood with a stungun.  If he tried that on Jakob he'd collapse in a heap.

So, in essence, her actions are still at Jakob's discretion.

This isn't something I've had reason to cover yet, but the body doesn't require much maintenance.  Most of the mechanical components are enchanted to prevent wear, and there is also a nanomechanical repair system.  In addition, Jakob is in the process of applying for patents so most of the interesting tech will be available for perusal.  When they go big-time, it's probably going to be something like a car dealership network.  The plan is to allow people to live longer, better lives so it's not like Battlefield Earth where the device self-destructs if you try to find out how it works.

Supposing Jakob is still an Anarctica, how is Keaton supposed to get to him for repairs, if she were to get hit by a car, or burn out her motors, or the thousand other things that could go wrong?
Unless Jakob has some sort of monitoring system, but that's a whole other debate in and of itself.

Largely, my points still stand. Jakob is still binding her hands and making sure that she's going to be a good girl and not do anything objectionable. I feel the metaphor of clipping wings falls flat - more akin to taking the wings themselves.

Debatable.  Dorcan's got used to it, although it was a bit of a bummer.  I don't want to go too far into this since we'll drift into spoiler territory.  However, the Jayhawk team have gone to fantastic lengths to try and make the body as much like a Being body as possible.  In fact, as part of the development process, Jakob has linked himself into the brains to possess them so he knows they're good enough.  Even sex works, on a recreational level, at least - Daryil would make sure of that - although this is not something I intend to explore in the series.  If you want that, read Robots of Dawn by Isaac Asimov.

I'm not talking about her ability to have sex - I'm talking about her ability to shapeshift, her ability to use magic and her ability to do all the other things that her race was gifted with. Those things the body does not replace, nor does Jakob really intend to ever make that possible, I don't think - he would not be putting her in a robot body for her improvement - it's designed to be a detriment and a punishment.

Anyway, this kind of philosophical debate is why I was so disappointed with your 'rimshot' post in the Neutrality thread

Well, I have to recognize a good bit of wry insight when I see it.

Really and truly, it's more about really knowing when to keep your mouth shut. Speaking of...*looks up at the post above*

[Tapewolf]

So, in essence, her actions are still at Jakob's discretion.

First of all, remember that Jakob has only threatened do to this so far, so it's currently all hypothetical.  However, to answer your question, Keaton's actions against Jakob are at his discretion.  If, for example, they had a visitor without a tag and she panned their head in, it wouldn't register.  Or did you mean the ability to weaken them?  He isn't doing this out of cruelty, so if they chose to leave the base, he'd most likely put them back to normal power first.

Supposing Jakob is still an Anarctica, how is Keaton supposed to get to him for repairs, if she were to get hit by a car, or burn out her motors, or the thousand other things that could go wrong?

The address is printed inside the chassis, probably on a strip of blackmetal or something so it would survive the crash.  It would be the address for Jayhawk Cybernetics on the mainland of course, not the secret R&D facility in the Arctic.  If the brain dies, the soul will automatically be stolen into a crystal for later recovery.

Also, as you suggest, I'm thinking that there is some kind of emergency transmitter like with the Daleks, in case of a major systems failure.  Not a continuous telemetry system, mind you, for privacy reasons.

Largely, my points still stand. Jakob is still binding her hands and making sure that she's going to be a good girl and not do anything objectionable. I feel the metaphor of clipping wings falls flat - more akin to taking the wings themselves.

I wish I could reply to that, but spoilers

I'm talking about her ability to shapeshift, her ability to use magic and her ability to do all the other things that her race was gifted with. Those things the body does not replace, nor does Jakob really intend to ever make that possible, I don't think - he would not be putting her in a robot body for her improvement - it's designed to be a detriment and a punishment.

They haven't got this to work by BoTM, but actually, most of those abilities are things that they are hoping to add eventually.  Soul-eating is out, obviously. 

[Brunhidden]

the fake soul part seems to be well planned, but i somehow find it funny to think you could find them on a shelf at the local store.

probably a behind the counter item, as it kinda gives away your a cubi or demon when you stand for ten minutes picking a flavor of soul.


robo keaton seems a good way to handle it, make her feel how a 'powerless' being feels. in a way thats why i disliked how everyone and their dog seems to be a cubi, theyre so overpowered you forget that the normal people are still people. there needs to be some beings that have the capability to put the smack down on cubi.... and now i wonder if jakob ever thought of a way to keep the body alive after ripping the soul out, perhaps if keaton behaves well enough she can be allowed back or a deserving being with no body can be housed in it.

[Tapewolf]

the fake soul part seems to be well planned, but i somehow find it funny to think you could find them on a shelf at the local store.
probably a behind the counter item, as it kinda gives away your a cubi or demon when you stand for ten minutes picking a flavor of soul.

And buying clothes with space for wings doesn't? 

robo keaton seems a good way to handle it, make her feel how a 'powerless' being feels.  in a way thats why i disliked how everyone and their dog seems to be a cubi, theyre so overpowered you forget that the normal people are still people.

That is part of the idea.  As I say, if he does this, it won't be out of malice so much as to try and make her a better person - even if his methods are a little extreme.

now i wonder if jakob ever thought of a way to keep the body alive after ripping the soul out, perhaps if keaton behaves well enough she can be allowed back or a deserving being with no body can be housed in it.

Hmm... you know, in the original CJP series, Malnemar was sentenced to something like that - all his 'Cubi powers were restrained.  Closer to home, I seem to recall that Lianna and possibly Keaton herself were also restrained with enchanted bracers (a military version of the Creature-to-Being amulet from Abel's Story!) although barring some way of preserving her body, as you say, being killed and stuck in an android is rather more permanent.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

probably a behind the counter item, as it kinda gives away your a cubi or demon when you stand for ten minutes picking a flavor of soul.

Pfft. The ones who are browsing the soul shelf are the safe ones. What you have to worry about are the ones who -don't-.

Of course, your average moronic Being will overlook that, so maybe you have a point...


As for Cogidubnus and Tapewolf - I think Cogidubnus has a point. However, Jakob is offering this option to Keaton -because- she's misbehaving after giving her word that she wouldn't. She -did- tell Daryil that she wouldn't try to escape, right? So.. what's she doing, but proving she cannot be trusted?

Given that, Jakob's options are severely limited - turf her out, kill her, or restrain her in some way. And the restraint has to be a restraint that -she- is scared of. If it's one that -he'd- really rather not apply, but will if she forces his hand, then so much the better - she's going to pick up his distaste, but also his resolve, if he so decides to show them. And that's pretty much the reason he's done it this way - he doesn't have any other way of controlling her, other than having Daryil babysit her - which isn't great, since Daryil apparently has the attention span of a 6 hour ice-cream freak who's lost his Ritalin 3 years ago... Lovely guy, but... ;-]

[techmaster-glitch]

If someone cuts off your arm, being able to make a prosthesis that's better than the original doesn't make the person who cut it off nice for doing it.

I certainly think it would

[Cogidubnus]

If someone cuts off your arm, being able to make a prosthesis that's better than the original doesn't make the person who cut it off nice for doing it.

I certainly think it would

Remind me to never let you have a knife near me, then.

I wouldn't cut people accidentally, but I certainly wouldn't cut people up against their will to make them better.

there needs to be some beings that have the capability to put the smack down on cubi.... and now i wonder if jakob ever thought of a way to keep the body alive after ripping the soul out, perhaps if keaton behaves well enough she can be allowed back or a deserving being with no body can be housed in it.

We're not talking about putting the smack down on Cubi. Beings can't suck the souls out of things and put them elsewhere anyway.
I have to say, being put in a blind man's body and then being told that if I'm a good boy they might let me see again rather makes me want to learn the style of Zatoichi. We don't cut the arms off of murderers. And, although it used to be that way, we don't cut the hands off thieves or blind artists that paint badly.
Keaton does wrong? Undoubtedly. That does not make us the arbiter of what she is.

First of all, remember that Jakob has only threatened do to this so far, so it's currently all hypothetical.  However, to answer your question, Keaton's actions against Jakob are at his discretion.  If, for example, they had a visitor without a tag and she panned their head in, it wouldn't register.  Or did you mean the ability to weaken them?  He isn't doing this out of cruelty, so if they chose to leave the base, he'd most likely put them back to normal power first.

I suppose I mean both, really.

My point is thus: rather like he did before as Johan Cross, by taking the undesirables and placing them elsewhere, he is doing rather the same thing with Keaton by declaring himself the arbiter of what Keaton is. In my opinion, it's worse - at least those who crossed Johan Cross got to stay themselves - in the case of Jakob, they're simply crippled so that they can't do anything objectionable anymore. Werther or not their leash extends long or short, it is still a leash, and it is still in Jakob's hand. Just like before, except in this case, he does not set the offending insect outside so much as pull off its wings.

However, Jakob is offering this option to Keaton -because- she's misbehaving after giving her word that she wouldn't. She -did- tell Daryil that she wouldn't try to escape, right? So.. what's she doing, but proving she cannot be trusted?

If Daryil asked me if I enjoyed running outside in hailstorms, I'd probably tell him I watch for storms every evening. Not that it's an excuse, but...
I think it was proven that she can't be trusted awhile back. But even so, I hardly think that misbehaving, as you put it, is grounds for Jakob rip her from her body and put her into something less objectionable.

Given that, Jakob's options are severely limited - turf her out, kill her, or restrain her in some way. And the restraint has to be a restraint that -she- is scared of. If it's one that -he'd- really rather not apply, but will if she forces his hand, then so much the better - she's going to pick up his distaste, but also his resolve, if he so decides to show them. And that's pretty much the reason he's done it this way - he doesn't have any other way of controlling her, other than having Daryil babysit her - which isn't great, since Daryil apparently has the attention span of a 6 hour ice-cream freak who's lost his Ritalin 3 years ago... Lovely guy, but... ;-]

Hardly. There are more ways to restrain a Cubi than cutting off what makes them Cubi. He's making artificial soul, and can teleport using spells rather than warp-aci. Stasis wouldn't be too far out - and very personally, I wouldn't think death to be that bad of an option here.
I'm not quite certain what you mean by 'turf out', but I suppose he could send her somewhere she couldn't get back from. Hell, I think if someone opened the door nicely she might run out into the snow and never come back, and have a nervous tic around candy stores ever after. My point being, it is not as though there is nothing else he could do here.

[Gabi]

Heh. Quite an interesting and ontroversial chapter. Especially the final threat.

I liked the scene between Dorcan and Mordrith.

[Gareeku]

Wow. If someone trapped me in a stone for over a century, and then had the absolute nerve to still call me a friend, I would be pissed.

[Tapewolf]

Wow. If someone trapped me in a stone for over a century, and then had the absolute nerve to still call me a friend, I would be pissed.

Pal originally wanted Eph and Jakob to be lovers or something - what we're seeing is the result of a compromise.
In some ways I feel it was a little ill-planned, but it IMHO it was better to get it sorted out than have him forget and leave her there for another 150 years 

[Gareeku]

So Ephrael had no problem being trapped in a jewel for 150 years? Wow. She must be weird.

[Tapewolf]

So Ephrael had no problem being trapped in a jewel for 150 years? Wow. She must be weird.

If she wasn't before, she is now 

Something that was cut from the Mordrith-Dorcan dialogue was that Jakob successfully revived the demons who he wore around his neck.  I'll work that in later, probably at that time I'll work in a fix for it because frankly, it is drawing more attention than was intended.  Strictly speaking, the whole 'stuck-in-a-stone' thing was only done because it was the most expedient way to cameo her.  (And I was reading too much Foxfire at the time it was originally written)

**EDIT**
For people new to the program, Eph first appeared in chapter 15:

http://clockworkmansion.com/forum/index.php/topic,2274.msg143819.html#msg143819

[Gareeku]

Ah, I see. It's just that it really put me off Jakob's character, like he was trying to play god or something, especially when he speaks of his respect for people only to do something like that. Unless Ephrael wanted him to do it, of course.

[Tapewolf]

Ah, I see. It's just that it really put me off Jakob's character, like he was trying to play god or something, especially when he speaks of his respect for people only to do something like that. Unless Ephrael wanted him to do it, of course.

Well, he did it because he felt her death was his fault and he was trying to make amends.
It went wrong, but his motives were pure.

[Gareeku]

He was still trying to play God, though. Just because you do have the ability to bring people back from the dead doesn't mean you should. I'm not denying that his motives were pure, in a way I admire him for going to such a length to bringing her back from the brink of death. However, the way that he kept her in a stone like that for 150 years, seemingly without her even saying so (again, this is going on the assumption that she hasn't agreed to this) puts me off.

[Tapewolf]

However, the way that he kept her in a stone like that for 150 years, seemingly without her even saying so (again, this is going on the assumption that she hasn't agreed to this) puts me off.

He forgot.  See Chapter 15:

Still in his disguise as Kris the Arctic wolf, Jakob opened the cupboard and began to search through it for some sticky notes.  I can see I'm going to have to order some more, he thought to himself.  In the process he managed to knock over a box of soulstones and swore.  Packing them away one by one, he suddenly froze as he realised that one of them was faintly glowing.

Now who could that be...? he wondered.  Oh dear... it's going to be HER.  She's not going to be very pleased with me.

He clutched the gem tightly with one hand and closed his eyes.  A vision of a black-furred marsupial swam in front of him.

"After the first thousand years of my imprisonment I vowed that I would grant three wishes unto the one who would release me..."  Ephrael said.
"After the second thousand years..."

"Knock it off," said Jakob.  "It can't have been more than a hundred and forty, if that.  Though I suppose that is twice your lifespan," he added guiltily.

"So... what's been happening outside?" she asked.

"Oh, this and that.  The good news is that we've figured out how to perform the resurrection.  The bad news is that I don't have a body for you at the moment so you'll have to... wait..."

"You forgot, didn't you?" she said curtly.

"Well, yes.  Look, it took over a century to get it to work!" he protested.  "You can't expect me to remember that far back!  It'll just a few more hours now, I promise!" he said hastily, and broke the link before she could argue.

[Gareeku]

Ah, ok then. From that segment I assume that she agreed to being resurrected.

Forgive my lack of knowledge, I'm currently in the process of reading the story and there are bits that I haven't got to yet, yet I glanced over the last couple of chapters anyway, for some reason.

Is this story canon to the characters involved (forgive me if it's a stupid question, but I thought I'd ask anyway)?

[Tapewolf]

Forgive my lack of knowledge, I'm currently in the process of reading the story and there are bits that I haven't got to yet, yet I glanced over the last couple of chapters anyway, for some reason.

Yeah, I thought that might be the case...

Is this story canon to the characters involved (forgive me if it's a stupid question, but I thought I'd ask anyway)?

I can't speak for Zedd, but Jakob is definitely the same as in FC, and from the enormous effort that's gone into Keaton, I'm pretty sure she is too.  Ephrael is as well I think although ultimately that's up to her creator.  I'm assuming it's the same Ephrael as in FC.

[Paladin Sheppard]

Indeed she is the same!

[Gabi]

And hopefully by this time Gabi's soul is having a good time in some other dimension.

[Brunhidden]

would the dimension of vibrating chairs, cheesecake, and topless cabana boys be okay? i could get you an opening, pull a few strings and all that


I cant help but wonder how many characters are still yet to show up, seeing as how i have not tackled the first one and have no clue what 'new' characters await as well.... but seeing as how far in the future its placed i also have to wonder how many potential characters are now dead, and how many would see death as only a minor inconvenience

[Tapewolf]

I cant help but wonder how many characters are still yet to show up, seeing as how i have not tackled the first one and have no clue what 'new' characters await as well.... but seeing as how far in the future its placed i also have to wonder how many potential characters are now dead, and how many would see death as only a minor inconvenience

It is not my intention to revive the entire cast of Furrae Chronicles 
However, there are a couple of new characters scheduled to turn up, but most of them will be transient.

[Gabi]

would the dimension of vibrating chairs, cheesecake, and topless cabana boys be okay? i could get you an opening, pull a few strings and all that

What's a cabana boy?

It doesn't sound like a place where I'd like to spend a long time, but it might be interesting to visit. Is there tea?

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Pool boy. Or the boy sent to bring you drinks, or fresh towels, while you laze beside the beach.

Correct me if I'm wrong, there, Tapewolf.

[Alondro]

*Charles snerks*  I'm just waiting for some super-villains to start doing their dastardly deeds!   

[Zedd]

Is this story canon to the characters involved (forgive me if it's a stupid question, but I thought I'd ask anyway)?

I can't speak for Zedd, but Jakob is definitely the same as in FC, and from the enormous effort that's gone into Keaton, I'm pretty sure she is too.  Ephrael is as well I think although ultimately that's up to her creator.  I'm assuming it's the same Ephrael as in FC.

You rang sir?

[Dannysaysnoo]

"Can you guess what it is yet?" he asked in a strange and slightly irritating voice.

I do love me some Rolf.

[Tapewolf]

"Can you guess what it is yet?" he asked in a strange and slightly irritating voice.

I do love me some Rolf.

Someone got it 

[Dannysaysnoo]

"Can you guess what it is yet?" he asked in a strange and slightly irritating voice.

I do love me some Rolf.

Someone got it 

I can see Jakob playing the digeriedoo and making epic tunes on a piece of noisy cardboard. Is that weird?

[Tapewolf]

My youngest son came home today
His friends marched with him all the way
The fife and drums beat out the time
While in his box of polished pine
Like dead meat on the butcher's tray
My youngest son came home today.
--Eric Bogle

Chapter 23 - Promises

One of Jakob's more controversial funding techniques had culminated in an influx of new music, the like of which had never before been heard of in all Furrae.  Armed with the entire creative resources of Earth at his disposal and no kind of trans-dimensional copyright enforcement to get in the way, the only problem had been presenting the music in a form amenable to local consumption, especially when live appearances were required.

To this end he had assembled a variety of bands and persuaded them to cover the otherworldly material which he had provided.  There were drawbacks, in that his proxies necessarily had to have a career echoing that of their human counterparts.  Successful groups had unfortunately split at the height of their fame when the material from their namesakes had run out, although he was sometimes able to sustain them with material from other, similar groups.
Once, a band had split up owing to 'musical differences' while still having more than five albums of material allocated to them.  The discovery that their manager had wings on his head and an appetite for souls had somehow persuaded them to reform a few days later, although the public never fully understood the slightly haunted look which they displayed during interviews and live events.

The husky sat in the couch, regretting his decision to put that particular record on.  Hippie Music Volume 4 - Songs of War and Whinging was an especially miserable collection of songs but it was the song which had just started that was really getting to him, one of many songs about the casualties of war.
Tears began to well again.  His youngest son had never come home at all and was now mouldering in an unkempt grave in some hick mountain town.  Perhaps his father was right... perhaps they were cursed for the sins of their ex-clan.  It would certainly explain why his beautiful wife was in hiding and half of his children lay dead.

The dreams were the worst.  As an incubus he didn't need to sleep but from long experience he had learned that lights left burning at four in the morning could bring awkward questions.  So he slept.
He didn't have many dreams anymore but when he did they were of his family.  A dream in which Amath had somehow survived or been mistakenly pronounced dead was enough to make him cry when he awoke, but the only thing worse was when Dorcan or Fenholt was there too.  At that point the suspension of disbelief would crack and he'd realise that it was just a dream and the house would be empty when he awoke.

Unhappily he lifted the stylus and went to answer the door.  No, it had definitely been a mistake to put that LP on, and he began mentally searching or something cheerier to play when the intruder was gone.  It was probably the postman.  As he opened the door, a numb feeling of shock enveloped him, not at all like the warm contented feeling in the dreams.  He blinked, looked away, but the figure was still there.
His youngest son came home today.

* * *

Meanwhile, Keaton had found a solution to her problems, or at least, a workaround.  Taking a couple of bottles from Jakob's wine cellar, and after a brief hesitation a wineglass, she sneaked off to find somewhere nice and quiet where she would be able to consume them undisturbed.

The jackal wasn't a great one for fine wines, but then again nor was Jakob.  The stash which she had plundered was mostly for celebrations, but as far as Keaton was concerned, her need was greater than his.

Her first action was to down about half the bottle of red.  Not exactly her choice but it would do.  The white was pretty grim, so taking the wineglass, she resolved to find out if mixing the two would improve it.

"Don't," said a voice behind her, just as she was about to add the white.  Keaton started, splashing the wine, and glanced back to see the snow leopard.  She'd seen him before, but not much.

"Oh, it's you," she said, holding the glass out to him.  "Want some?"

"No, thanks.  I'm synthetic.  In any case, I'm not sure you're supposed to be here."

Hah!  An Angel with clipped wings, she chuckled to herself mentally, and took a sip, to Azrael's apparent distaste.

Keaton Jyraneth had a measure of hatred for Angels.  Centuries ago one of their kind had taken her prisoner, tormented her and finally violated her, an act which was largely responsible for her twisted and vicious outlook on life.  In time this utter loathing and detestation had slowly mellowed into a low-level hatred and distrust as she gradually realised that judging an entire race by the deeds of one member alone wasn't big or clever.
But now, in a disused laboratory the middle of some godsforsaken frozen wasteland, she found herself unable to resist staring at the white-winged feline in front of her.  Angel or no, he meant something important.  But what?  Azrael... Azrael... the name was tantalizingly familiar...

The glass she was holding shattered on the cold tiles of the floor, spilling her concoction like pale blood as the realisation hit her.

"Lord Page?"

"Do I know you?" he asked politely.  "I didn't think we'd met before."

"N-No," she replied.  "But... I've heard of you...  you died.  Or was that a hoax too?"

"No," the leopard sighed.  "I was murdered by a pack of demons who wanted to dethrone me.  That was about five centuries ago..."

"...and Cross stole your soul?  He kept you in a piece of jewellery ever since?"

"Poor Jakob was too shocked to think of that.  He made a number of attempts throughout the centuries to raise my spirit from beyond the grave, but it wasn't until about four months ago, with a lot of help from Daryil, that he finally succeeded."

The jackal's mind was in a whirl.  So it's true... he brought someone back from the void...

"Are you quite all right?"  Page asked, slightly alarmed.

"I'm just... the raising spirits thing... Could he do it again?"

The leopard blinked.  "I'm not sure.  I assume so.   Why do you ask?  Is there someone you've... lost?"

"Everyone," she replied.  "All of them except my mother, and my sister... and she's catatonic.

"...but if I had to pick one person, it would have to be Dad," she finished.  There was an awkward silence.

"It's not my decision to make," Azrael admitted.  "You'd have to convince Jakob and Daryil.  Daryil in particular because he'd be the one to find and bring back his soul."

"Anything," Keaton said, trying unsuccessfully to keep the desperation out of her voice.  It seemed as if the wine was starting to get to her already.  "You want me to be a good girl?  Fine!  I mean it... no more soul eating... I mean f***, I don't need to anymore once your stuff is on the market, right?  Hell, I'll wear enchanted bracers, anything, if you'll just bring him back..."

* * *

"Ah, there you are now... uh... how in the gods names did you get her to agree to that?"  Jakob said, wide-eyed, staring at Keaton as she placidly followed the Angel, a pair of Creature-to-Being bracers on her arms, and a contented smile on her face.

"Actually, it was her own suggestion."

Jakob looked at the succubus with disbelief and suspicion.  Probably the smile was the worst... he'd never seen her do that unless something was going terribly well for her, and terribly bad for someone else.

"That's got to be some sort of trick!" he said at last, which made her smile waver slightly, but it held.

"I've never once seen her do anything without an ulterior motive.  She wants something..."

"Her father," put in Daryil.  Jakob stiffened, and so did Keaton, but she didn't trust herself to speak yet.

"Don't worry, it was just a quick peep," he said.  "I was afraid she may have found a way to bypass the bracers or something.  But it looks like she's hoping we can bring back her family, in whole or in part."

"Hmm," Jakob murmured thoughtfully, "Well, it would be a good test, I suppose.  And if it would obviate her vendetta against the Kamei'Sin, it might be worth consid-" he broke off as Ephrael stormed into the room.

"Jakob!" she screeched.  "Where's my tattoo?"

"What tattoo?" he replied irritably.

"The heart one on the left cheek of my butt.  It's gone!"

"That can happen," the wolf replied.  "We're still pretty new at this game.  Isn't it enough that you can see and feel again?"

"You've had a hundred and thirty odd years to get it right!"

Jakob threw his hands in the air.  "Okay, okay, okay.  Daryil?  You're best at magical tattoos.  Could you add one to Ephrael's bum, please?"  It will make her shut up, I hope.

"Ugh," the fox replied, making a face.  "Very well.  Happy now?"

"Maybe," grumbled the marsupial.

"Good.  Now as for you, Keaton, you know I don't trust you, and after what you've tried to do you're certainly not in a position to demand anything from us.  All the same, if resurrecting a loved one will make you a better person, I'll consider it.  But you'll have to prove you can be trusted..."

Keaton nodded vigourously, and Jakob glanced at her again and mouthed to Page.  Is she quite all right?

Either way, there were more pressing matters at hand.  Ashley should have reported back by now and since he hadn't, that meant something must have gone wrong.  He punched a number into his watch, and the lynx appeared on it.  He looked rather harassed.

"Hi Yak.  The trademark board has rejected I can't believe it's not Being."

"What a bunch of poofs," Jakob snarled.  "Did they give a reason?"

"I'm still trying to get to the bottom of that.  Everyone I speak to gives a different answer.  Anyway, give me half an hour and I think I'll have the reason for you.  Okay?"

"See what you can do.  Use thought-reading if need be," Jakob said.

Thirty minutes later, most of the base was assembled in the meeting room, where Ashley, through a wall-display, looked on.

"Oookay," Jakob began.  "It seems that the trademark office' database has a 24-character limit on that field, so we'll have to find a new name, I guess.  Does anyone have any suggestions?"

As he spoke he rifled back through the flipchart to their earlier meeting where they had come up with the name in the first place.  Upon the chart was a host of crossed-out names including "Quoul", "Quol", "Foul", "Soula" and so forth.

"Diet Soul," Niall suggested.

"Yeah, but that sounds like it's got real soul in it."

"What flavour is it?" someone piped up.  Jakob turned around in annoyance.  "What?"

Kirian bobbed into view.  "What flavours does it come in?  Strawberry would be nice... and you've got to have chocolate... and orange..."

"I don't think you quite understand the target market," Jakob snapped, his restraint cracking.  "I made this stuff to save the souls, that is, the very existences of people who would otherwise be formerly referred to as 'prey'!  It does not come in different flavours!"

"Soul Food?" Joshua supplied, half-jokingly.  Jakob slapped himself.

"Simple, elegant.  What I can't understand is why we didn't think of that before.  But let's merge it together... and CamelCase it..."  He wrote 'SoulFood' on the chart and showed it to Ashley.

"If they don't accept that, we may have to resort to threats and violence."

* * *

Once again, Jakob found himself watching the news.  At least one thing was sure, Daryil wasn't going to have caused any more mayhem among the Beings, because he'd been inside the complex for practically the entire time.

Local authorities are mystified by the overnight appearance of a new ornament in the town park.  The statue, made of solid granite, resembles a giant onion.

Sir Croft, head of the council planning division, today issued the following statement:
"He did it, it was him, why won't he leave us alone," which is believed to be a reference to the incubus Daryil, who recently attained quasi-divine powers and has plagued the town with a series of increasingly bizarre practical jokes.

"Oh for f***'s sake..."