Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Kipiru]

Granted! This forum is overruned with geniuses who only criticize eachother and the admins, making this one of the most boring forums in existence!

I wish I could command the elements!

[Rakala]

Granted. They're not very obedient.

I wish I could get a hug.

[Kipiru]

Granted, you get hugged by an iron maiden! Enjoy!

I wish I could breath underwater!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Admittedly it's only _out_, and not back in.

I wish I felt like I had something to do...

[Rakala]

Granted. You feel like you have to vote. Ooops, too late.

I wish I could meet somebody I truly care about.

[Lysander]

Granted, but your feelings are truly unwanted and despised, alowing you to never go near the person due to a restraining order.

I wish to destroy the internet.   

[Rakala]

Granted. Apocalypse ensues.

I wish I had a symbiote suit like Spiderman's.

[Eagle0600]

Granted. It goes about systematically destroying everything you've ever lived for.

I wish I was omnipotent over all reality.

[Rakala]

Granted, but that means everything bad is also your fault.

I wish I had an opportunity to show my excellent singing voice to the world without them hating me and my voice.

[Eagle0600]

Granted, they just hate you, and not your excellent singing voice.

I wish that I could turn off my absolute certainty that I'm going to die.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You're not certain. But cheer up, you'll still die!

I wish that I would only offend the people I wished to offend, and cut out all that wishy washyness when I'm being playfully mean.

[Eagle0600]

Wish granted, but the people you wish to offend are ever-present and have hired goons.

I wish I was more than a Pygmy Shrew.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Congratulations, thou art a fluffy fuzzball. But nobody respects you any more or less than before.

I wish I had one of those "speak to computer and it writes what you say" programs (Can't think of the technical term. Dictation programs?)

[Noone]

Granted, you get this.

I wish I had a better understanding of C++ iostreams.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

The Borg collective assimilates you.

I wish more people would get it when I throw out obscure, erudite references to works of art.

[Rakala]

Granted. However since everybody knows about it they're not obscure anymore.

[Lysander]

Granted.

I wish for an obtuse angle.   

[Dagardo]

Granted. It turns into a right angle.

I wish I had a Reverse Blade Sword

[Rakala]

Granted. You drop it on your foot.

I wish I had a decorative set of armor.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

It's ugly.


I wish I had a kevlar vest

[Rakala]

Granted. You get shot while wearing it.

I wish Beavis and Butthead wasn't such an insult to human intelligence.

[Eagle0600]

Granted. Now you are an insult to human intelligence.

I wish I had the Libris Mortis.

[Dagardo]

Granted, you cant read it, and will never be able to. Fat lot a good that thing did ya huh? Also someone thumps you over the head with it and steals it.

I wish I had one of these. The weapon not the girl.

[Eagle0600]

Granted, but it's made of plastic, and the girl proceeds to steal it anyway because you rejected her.

I wish I could leap tall buildings.

[Kipiru]

Granted, but now you can't even walk over a rock without jumping into orbit!

I wish I could weild all forms of weapons to perfection!

[Rakala]

Granted, but it's difficult to use all weapons at once.

I wish I knew some form of martial arts.

[Kipiru]

Granted, you know Sumo!

I wish I had a multimillion dollar corporation to run!

[Rakala]

Granted. As soon as you take over all the multimillions go down the drain.

I wish I had a strobe light.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You also have epilepsy.


I wish I'd already handed in my notice.

[Rakala]

Granted, but it's after you're fired.

I wish I knew why your image changes every time I look at it.