2020-10-19 [DMFA #2016] Visitor dress code

[MT Hazard]

I don't think Abel's going to bothered by anything Jyrras is wearing, unless he looks like he has completely gone to pieces in his absence.

[Tuyu]

Too bad Jyrras doesn't have an "in" with the SAIA garment construction department.

The chance to make a garment for the being Bachelor of the Year who's about to be seen by his boyfriend for the first time with his boyfriend's newly-regenerated eyes...just as long as they didn't know the boyfriend was Abel, of course.

[killpurakat]

I always hate when "well, look how they are dressed, they HAVE to be gay" or "but a gay wouldn't dress X way" is used as evidence that someone is/isn't a sexuality (especially when that seems to be used as definitive proof). Like if you do or don't fit a stereotype is all someone needs to judge what you MUST be and you can't determine your own sexuality and just state it.

That said, I like how Kria seems fully aware that Jyrras and Abel mean something more to each other and yet is being super petty because Jyrras's timing was super early. Good on Amber for subverting the really bad trope!

[Nightmask]

I always hate when "well, look how they are dressed, they HAVE to be gay" or "but a gay wouldn't dress X way" is used as evidence that someone is/isn't a sexuality (especially when that seems to be used as definitive proof). Like if you do or don't fit a stereotype is all someone needs to judge what you MUST be and you can't determine your own sexuality and just state it.

That said, I like how Kria seems fully aware that Jyrras and Abel mean something more to each other and yet is being super petty because Jyrras's timing was super early. Good on Amber for subverting the really bad trope!

That's not what she's saying though, she's saying 'if you two are dating you'd dress in something reflective of wanting to look nice for your partner instead of something like that.'  She's not even remotely saying 'if you were homosexual you wouldn't be dressed like that.'  It's a stereotype about people in a relationship dressing a certain way for their partner especially when they're in the hospital not a stereotype about what a homosexual would wear.

[FairWage22]

Jyrras should be glad that he's being allowed to visit.     

Most hospitals I can recall have been very *strict* about 'family' only  -- yes, to the point of fiances not being allowed to visit 'because they're not married'.

Maybe that's changed in the past few decades for the better?

[killpurakat]

I always hate when "well, look how they are dressed, they HAVE to be gay" or "but a gay wouldn't dress X way" is used as evidence that someone is/isn't a sexuality (especially when that seems to be used as definitive proof). Like if you do or don't fit a stereotype is all someone needs to judge what you MUST be and you can't determine your own sexuality and just state it.

That said, I like how Kria seems fully aware that Jyrras and Abel mean something more to each other and yet is being super petty because Jyrras's timing was super early. Good on Amber for subverting the really bad trope!

That's not what she's saying though, she's saying 'if you two are dating you'd dress in something reflective of wanting to look nice for your partner instead of something like that.'  She's not even remotely saying 'if you were homosexual you wouldn't be dressed like that.'  It's a stereotype about people in a relationship dressing a certain way for their partner especially when they're in the hospital not a stereotype about what a homosexual would wear.

I'm more talking about the trope that the gays have to always be FAB-U-LOUS with how they are dressed. I've actually never heard of a case where people expect their partner to be dressed up for a hospital visit. For a date, sure, but not for things like this. (And actually, true to real life; my mom works at a hospital and I've witnessed many people visiting; usually, people are just happy when you come to see them and they really don't care about how you look unless it is so awful to evoke concern.)

If you make Abel female, would Jyrras be expected to dress nice to visit his girlfriend? Likely not. That is what I was referencing.

And Kria has shown that she is well aware of gay tropes and equally uncaring/dismissive/"why would you think that's my business now move before I eat you" of them, given her reaction to Devin announcing he was gay when he was alive. Which also fits a bit with the world, since many species can't wear clothes period, or can only wear certain clothes somewhat functionally/comfortably (Matilda would not wear nice clothing to visit Dan; she would likely not wear any clothing). Given how Dan reacted to Abel's "gay" clothing, the stereotype exists in Furrae. Kria is simply old enough and experienced enough to know it is bull and only use it when it gives her an edge and/or causes her some harmless amusement.

I like how Amber used the stereotype for the joke, but in a subversive way via Kria's thoughts.

[killpurakat]

Also, I am REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY feeling Kria's not-quite-thousand-yard-stare-of-I-am-done-with-this-for-today-and-the-day-isn't-started-yet in that last panel with the state of all the things. I need to carry around a pic of that and show it to people saying "Mood."

[Lying Foo]

If you make Abel female, would Jyrras be expected to dress nice to visit his girlfriend? Likely not. That is what I was referencing.

Yes?  At least enough that Kria, in troll mode, might make fun of Jyrras for visiting a girlfriend in ugly clothes.

[Radagast]

If you make Abel female, would Jyrras be expected to dress nice to visit his girlfriend? Likely not. That is what I was referencing.

In about as much as she's serious about this question.  And mind you, the last panel makes it pretty clear that she said that not because she believes it, but because she wanted to get under his skin.  She'd likely have said exactly the same thing if Abel or Jyrras had been female.  Point of fact, if we assumed the latter, the only real question is whether Kria would have cited Jyrras's frumpy outfit or lack of makeup as 'evidence'. 

Sexuality doesn't really play into this.  The argument is not that "no gay guy would dress like that", it's that "nobody would visit their boyfriend dressed like that".  It's all about playing to Jyrras's relationship anxiety.  Abel literally got hospitalized during his and Jyrras's first date.  That makes it a very new relationship, and easily at a point where a lot of people put in that little extra effort out of fear that their partner will find the 'real' them inadequate.  Simple cold reading makes that an easy button to press.

Moreover, considering the nature of Kria's work and the fact that agent Chazore had been shadowing him for a while, Kria almost certainly knows how insecure Jyrras is about relationship stuff.  That makes suggesting that he's not putting in the appropriate effort and/or that Abel would be upset about something he did a very easy way to make him fret and cause some harmless distress. 

[Tuyu]

If you make Abel female, would Jyrras be expected to dress nice to visit his girlfriend? Likely not. That is what I was referencing.

In about as much as she's serious about this question.  And mind you, the last panel makes it pretty clear that she said that not because she believes it, but because she wanted to get under his skin.  She'd likely have said exactly the same thing if Abel or Jyrras had been female.

Yeah, genders really don't come into it.

She said it to Jyrras because she could predict his reaction.

[Howl]

Has it been 24 hours yet?