I have had an idea for a fan fiction comic for a while now, and this is it.
The comic is however rated MA, and not just because the first comic has a fair amount of blood in it, the comic gets a lot darker from what I've wrote for it so far.
It's called Manifest Destiny.
Comic 1 (http://fc07.deviantart.com/fs47/f/2009/193/b/0/Manifest_Destiny___1_by_JaxiD.jpg)
I'm hoping you like.
Definitely a dark beginning. I'll definitely keep tabs on this, though. What update frequency are you looking at, and out of interest, what made you pick the name 'Keaton'?
Nice art.
I'd suggest coming up with an actual archive before you go too much further, though. It might be a bit early to say if it's any good - it certainly shows promise, but you'll have to keep up with it.
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on July 12, 2009, 06:30:21 PM
I'd suggest coming up with an actual archive before you go too much further, though.
Well I do like archives. This is the thing however, I don't really want to go ahead and make 100 comics and put them up only to find out that not many of the actual fans of DMFA like it, because I'm making it to entertain the readers of DMFA. Which is why I want to display each one here in turn so I can get enough feedback to make sure it turns out well in the future. This comic took me about 2 days to draw in any case so I'm pretty capable of building up a large collection in speed.
Quote from: Tapewolf on July 12, 2009, 06:22:29 PM
out of interest, what made you pick the name 'Keaton'?
I always thought it was a good name, I found out recently that a member of this board has the same name but I don't want to change it seeing as it is in the script already and I have got use to calling that character Keaton.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 12, 2009, 06:38:00 PM
Well I do like archives. This is the thing however, I don't really want to go ahead and make 100 comics and put them up only to find out that not many of the actual fans of DMFA like it, because I'm making it to entertain the readers of DMFA.
Hmm. One of the things I've heard said is that things like this you have do to because
you enjoy them, not strictly because other people enjoy them. Though I admit, it is nice when other people enjoy it too.
Couple of other questions:
1. Was the guy who was murdered part-Demon or just a bovine Being?
2. When is it set, relative to present-day DMFA (guns being scarce in the present)?
"Not with a bang, but a gunshot"? Aren't they kinda the same?
Quote from: Dannysaysnoo on July 12, 2009, 06:46:24 PM
"Not with a bang, but a gunshot"? Aren't they kinda the same?
Oh, sorry this is Turkish through into my writing. The Turkish Onomatopoeia for gun shot is Bam, not Bang.
The Onomatopoeia Kish actually describes the sound of crushing bone, so, yes, revolting.
In any case it's a play on words of The Hollow Men and the quote: This is the way the world ends, This is the way the world ends, This is the way the world ends, Not with a bang but a whimper.
Quote from: Tapewolf on July 12, 2009, 06:44:09 PM
Hmm. One of the things I've heard said is that things like this you have do to because you enjoy them, not strictly because other people enjoy them. Though I admit, it is nice when other people enjoy it too.
Couple of other questions:
1. Was the guy who was murdered part-Demon or just a bovine Being?
2. When is it set, relative to present-day DMFA (guns being scarce in the present)?
I would not draw this if I did not enjoy it.
Also! Question one. You'll have to find out.
Question two. It's set in the future, how far in the future is left to speculation.
The only thing that sticks out to me, that hasn't been commented on so far, is the title of the comic. "Manifest Destiny" seems kind of... generic.
The art looks pretty clean, tho. Kudos.
Success so far, I'd type. I like your art style, and I'm interested in reading more. Also, you're the 2nd person I've known to have read (or at least mention) that interesting poem that I like for some undefined reason. :januscat
I take it you're a Jack fan?
That head gunshot looks a lot like how Hopkins would draw it, in my mind at least.
Quote from: Sofox on July 12, 2009, 08:26:53 PM
I take it you're a Jack fan?
That head gunshot looks a lot like how Hopkins would draw it, in my mind at least.
What is strange is that I only heard of Jack a day ago from Brian and by then I'd already finished all the sketches. I hate the method of drawing a dark shadow of the person being shot with a line through it, so I decided to show what it would look like in full. To my knowledge that is what it would appear to look like.
Quote from: Lysander on July 12, 2009, 07:50:24 PM
Success so far, I'd type. I like your art style, and I'm interested in reading more. Also, you're the 2nd person I've known to have read (or at least mention) that interesting poem that I like for some undefined reason. :januscat
I've read a lot of poems, Paradise Lost I have a hard back copy of. Though as you can imagine it takes me a while to read through any.
Quote from: WhiteFox on July 12, 2009, 07:37:36 PM
The only thing that sticks out to me, that hasn't been commented on so far, is the title of the comic. "Manifest Destiny" seems kind of... generic.
The art looks pretty clean, tho. Kudos.
Manifest Destiny is a working title, I had to call it something and Manifest Destiny does tie in with the plot of the comic as a whole.
I may probably change it once I create enough to think long and hard about the name.
So far, it seems like you're waiting to find out if other people like your comic before you commit to it.
The comic will be good as long as you're excited about the project and take pride in the work you put into it. If the comic is good, people will like it.
I'm not big on Jack. The style is stagnant, and the visuals lack definition: half the time I can't tell what I'm looking at.
My favorite poem is Invictus (http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Invictus).
Does anyone here want any cameo's as random background characters?
If the comic doesn't pick up you can at least get some free pictures out of it.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 13, 2009, 02:40:24 PM
Does anyone here want any cameo's as random background characters?
If the comic doesn't pick up you can at least get some free pictures out of it.
*shrugs* You've got my permission to use Jay if you want to. If you need references, just ask me... though most of those references are for a character in Ren Gaulen's story, so there are some differences at work. I can make those clearer if you want.
And as an introduction to the story, this is a good way to draw us in. I look forward to mow, Jax. Is it okay if I use Jax?
I don't mind if you use my character, Mao, as long as you run the details of it by me first. Don't want stuff that's out of his character too much used.
With regards to the comic: I like the art, and love that you've used colored lines (so much nicer than black lined in most cases.. but so much more work imho). I can't comment on the story/dialogue quality because well...there's only the one page. I have to agree the working title is a bit lame, but if it fits the story then so be it. If it really fits then it can be passed off easily enough. Not knowing the story makes it hard to really comment on that, of course. Another option to consider is not having the name really have anything to do with the comic. (see Tikiman's 'Just Another Web Comic' ...if you're 18+..for an example)
To me, "Manifest Destiny" makes me think of the old west, or westward expansion, like that. I could see it fitting (in the context of that this is what's destined to happen, or something), and I'm interested to see where this goes.
And I wouldn't mind if you used Alex, Miranda, or Faerie, if you want.
I don't have a problem if you want to borrow any of my characters - as long as they aren't used for target practice >:3
A pro tip for anyone confused over the name Manifest Destiny, Google it.
And now I'm going to have to decide someone to use in a crowd scene. XD
Quote from: Tapewolf on July 13, 2009, 07:13:30 PM
I don't have a problem if you want to borrow any of my characters - as long as they aren't used for target practice >:3
But wouldn't Joshua just be perfect for target practice?
Nice opening kid,I hope to see more soon
The artwork in the comic is pretty good and how the comic was set up was pretty good as well. Though the way the beginning started could be a bit better in my opinion.
And yes, your free to use any of my characters as a cameo, as long as you tell me which one you used. : 3
Hate to sound like the broken record, but I do have to agree with everyone and say that the artwork is really well done.
Though, IMO, I would have left something like this till maybe a second or third page. I usually go the way of giving some kind of story build up before doing something like this. Although I have seen other comics start in a similar way (start with something dramatic with little or no explanation), it's not always a good way to start if you don't follow up properly.
So, with that said, I can't really give a full opinion until about 5 to 10 comics in. But I will say, good luck until then, and don't forget to have fun while you are at it.
while I prefer black lines to color lines, I can see you did an exceptional job with the coloring. A simple textured overlay could improve the pages overall appearance and highlight or draw ones eye across the image like a razor (that's BS for "it would sharpen and enhance the image dramatically.") The plot of a one sided gun battle has probably been around since the gun was invented, so originality of writing could not be judged, since you were obviously inspired from without instead of within... your art doesn't express anger or malice, I don't feel sorry for the victim or even care... that actually takes some planning on your part, and to do it at all takes more than the unexpected. It's not necessarily bad, it just lacks empathy...
His glasses disappearing is just bugging me, Inattentive blindness usually covers over mistakes like that. but in this instance, It usually only works when it's different page being presented after another. He's only got one arm as far as I can tell, so unless it spontaneously re-generated I want to know how he took the glasses off. Flipping the second panel could fix that , but you'd have to re color the eye and highlights.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on July 14, 2009, 10:24:08 PM
your art doesn't express anger or malice, I don't feel sorry for the victim or even care... that actually takes some planning on your part, and to do it at all takes more than the unexpected. It's not necessarily bad, it just lacks empathy...
I dunno. I mean, for the most part it seemed like the unnamed victim was familiar with Keaton. There's some real empathy there for ya. And if Keaton seems kind of callous, well, judging from that smirk at the end there, I get the impression he
is. I think there's a lot of expression there.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on July 14, 2009, 10:24:08 PM
His glasses disappearing is just bugging me, Inattentive blindness usually covers over mistakes like that. but in this instance, It usually only works when it's different page being presented after another. He's only got one arm as far as I can tell, so unless it spontaneously re-generated I want to know how he took the glasses off. Flipping the second panel could fix that , but you'd have to re color the eye and highlights.
Perhaps he took off the glasses, gee I dunno, with the arm he does have? :< There's no reason the right hand can't hold the glasses from the left side, or travel to the left while taking them off. Besides, they look like pince-nez, which would allow for even more range of movement.
As for the art, everyone else seems to like it, but it doesn't really seem all that impressive to me. It's kind of hard to judge with only one page to go on, though.
I'd have to see more to tell whether or not I liked the comic.
Well he took off his glasses in the second pannel although I never showed it very clear.
Perhaps now I should draw this comic again in a different style and see what people think this time around.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 15, 2009, 07:44:27 AM
Perhaps now I should draw this comic again in a different style and see what people think this time around.
Nah, do the
next comic in a different style. Then choose what
you think is best.
Good artist styles evolve over time, no one ever get's it right the first time. But, you don't keep restarting, you just keep
going.
If you every want to try out new ways of doing things, always test it in your next comic. That is, in fact, how their styles evolve; they try new things while still going with the comic. Most of the artists I've seen around here do that, at least.
okay, just hear me out. You have one arm, you want to take off your glasses. with one arm you wouldn't reach your arm around your head and pull the glasses off from the from the other side. Nor would you reach over your head pull them off.
one arm--> o.o <--stump of arm. The glasses were removed from the side with a stump of arm.
This causes confusion because the good arm must reach around like a \/ with a twist of the wrist to pluck off glasses that way, it's awkward movement and uses more muscle, effort, and stamina.
If he was pulling off the glasses to throw them like a shuirikan maybe, but just plucking them off like that to put them in his good arm pocket, or throw them to the ground, would be a silly.
I'm providing feedback the artist needs to improve body movement and character perspective. It's a suggestion to help improve the quality of his work not to detract from what he did. If you want me to draw the image by hand to explain I can.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on July 15, 2009, 04:18:37 PM
okay, just hear me out.
I know what you're saying.
I just don't agree with you.
(Five minute sketches. (http://www.northernelectric.ca/~whitefox/images/sketches/glasseslook.jpg) These aren't meant to be sequential.)
By the way, pince-nez glasses don't have arms that hook around the nose. They pinch the bridge of the nose to stay on. Pince nez glasses would be considerably easier to pluck off then regular glasses. If he's using pince nez, he's probably holding the glasses by the spar across the bridge of the nose as he takes them off anyway. (See: The Matrix, when Morpheus meets up with Neo as he comes out of the Oracle's apartment)
[EDIT] You know, this is a really silly point to nitpick over.
Quote from: techmaster-glitch on July 15, 2009, 01:02:10 PM
Quote from: JaxiD on July 15, 2009, 07:44:27 AM
Perhaps now I should draw this comic again in a different style and see what people think this time around.
Nah, do the next comic in a different style. Then choose what you think is best.
Quoted for truth, on both points.
oh! Keaton doesn't only have one arm, he has two. In the first pannel he was standing with his left arm behind his back.
I have got to work on showing each action clearly rather than focus on trying to finish things as quickly as possible.
Okay next comic I'll keep the same style but make improvements to it and spend more time working on each action rather than just try to get it done as quickly as possible.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 16, 2009, 08:46:44 AM
oh! Keaton doesn't only have one arm, he has two. In the first pannel he was standing with his left arm behind his back.
I have got to work on showing each action clearly rather than focus on trying to finish things as quickly as possible.
Okay next comic I'll keep the same style but make improvements to it and spend more time working on each action rather than just try to get it done as quickly as possible.
i think the boy just nullified your arguement, Gabe. "inattentive blindness" does go both ways, of both the artist and the viewer, where everything is not what it seems, being an artist yourself, you should know this. >:3
and Jaxi, don't pay too much attention to those two, K? i like your style, it's smooth, clean, and stands out without stabbing you in the eyeballs. You clearly do have a lot of coloring skill behind you, and it suits the comic well.
Keep up the good work.
Just thought I should pipe in, looking at how this thread is going, that I really like what you've done so far and can't wait to see more.
I can't help it my monitor s color blind... I've had the same lcd screen since 2003. I get a lot of red polution, but the colors usually look better on other monitors, like on my laptop or the ones at school.
EDIT: it's lived through three computers and will be retired at the end of this semester.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on July 16, 2009, 11:48:25 AM
EDIT: it's lived through three computers and will be retired at the end of this semester.
like old yeller, i hope.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on July 16, 2009, 11:48:25 AM
I can't help it my monitor s color blind... I've had the same lcd screen since 2003. I get a lot of red polution, but the colors usually look better on other monitors, like on my laptop or the ones at school.
EDIT: it's lived through three computers and will be retired at the end of this semester.
Wait wait wait.. you've got a defective monitor, and you know this, and yet you're still trying to comment on how things look? Without even adding that little bit.. "but my monitor is a bit bunk"? This is either kinda silly on your part or a really lame cop-out.
I was trying to be silly.
(http://raoworld.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/double-facepalm.jpg)
That's all I've got.
Progress report?
There’s two more panels and then I have finished.
I looked over everyone who wanted a cameo but everyone seems to have a "fursona" that is a Cubi or another form of creature, except for Mao Laoren, who I did draw into a frame but I misjudged how I'd have to crop it and so you can barely see him.
Sorry about that.
Hehe, no prob. He was there to be used as long as it was in character. Barely being seen or heard fits him nicely. :3
Comic 2 is finished.
Link (http://fc05.deviantart.com/fs46/f/2009/201/e/3/Manifest_Destiny___2_by_JaxiD.jpg)
I'm still messing around with how I want things to be presented, I've stuck with the same style mostly because I really do want it to work out in the end but I've added a bit more detail. If you notice very slight changes in the shading methods between frames that's because I actually redid almost every frame about 3 times each out of frustration for it not looking right.
In any case I hope you like.
Tasty new pages,And I see the Mao cameo,nice job
I'd like to make a suggestion for the 3rd panel. It seems rather crowded with all the characters, and my eye is instantly drawn to the middle character rather than the main one. I think it's mainly because the speech bubble is directly below him, so I look at him first and then realize that the character to the left is the one speaking. This can be fixed by placing the speech bubble closer to the main character so the eye is drawn to her first(I would suggest to the above right of the character, overlapping her hair). Either that, or blurring the background characters a bit or making the line-art around the main character a little thicker, something that makes her stand out a little more.
When the line art is the same width, it makes the panels look cluttered and it's hard to distinguish what's "important" in the scene and what isn't, or what's in the foreground and what's in the background.
It's a little detail, but I think it might help for future reference. Makes things more pleasing to the eye and allows for the reader to take in the scene quickly without having to think, which is what you want.
I hope this makes sense. I'm a tad sleepy.
Other than that, I really like the art and I enjoy the coloring style. You also do a wonderful job with expressions. I'm interested to see where the story goes.
You know I don't know if it's just how my crazy mind works or if others are seeing this, but the green haired girl in the 7th and 10th panels, the way her collar bone and the bit of fur on her chest are drawn....I don't know, I just see a face.....like a fat Chinese guy face >:3.
Only other thing I like to know about the comic so far is, is this some time before the first comic, sometime after the first comic, or at the same time? It doesn't seem to be linear to me.
Quote from: Zina on July 21, 2009, 02:55:34 AM
I'd like to make a suggestion for the 3rd panel. It seems rather crowded with all the characters, and my eye is instantly drawn to the middle character rather than the main one. I think it's mainly because the speech bubble is directly below him, so I look at him first and then realize that the character to the left is the one speaking. This can be fixed by placing the speech bubble closer to the main character so the eye is drawn to her first(I would suggest to the above right of the character, overlapping her hair). Either that, or blurring the background characters a bit or making the line-art around the main character a little thicker, something that makes her stand out a little more.
When the line art is the same width, it makes the panels look cluttered and it's hard to distinguish what's "important" in the scene and what isn't, or what's in the foreground and what's in the background.
It's a little detail, but I think it might help for future reference. Makes things more pleasing to the eye and allows for the reader to take in the scene quickly without having the think, which is what you want.
I hope this makes sense. I'm a tad sleepy.
Other than that, I really like the art and I enjoy the coloring style. You also do a wonderful job with expressions. I'm interested to see where the story goes.
That's good advice, I do know about line art width and use it in single images but I was hoping I'd be able to get away with being lazy to save time per comic. In the sense that nobody is ever going to take a comic with lazy images seriously as anything visualy horrifying I'll focus more on detail in the next comic using your advice, especially in terms of thinking more about how I possition the speechmarks. Thank you.
Quote from: Dekari on July 21, 2009, 10:55:40 AM
You know I don't know if it's just how my crazy mind works or if others are seeing this, but the green haired girl in the 7th and 10th panels, the way her collar bone and the bit of fur on her chest are drawn....I don't know, I just see a face.....like a fat Chinese guy face >:3.
Only other thing I like to know about the comic so far is, is this some time before the first comic, sometime after the first comic, or at the same time? It doesn't seem to be linear to me.
hahaha!
I didn't notice that, I'll make sure to alter her appearance in the next comic to get rid of that.
The time span of the comic is not in chronological sequence, the exact order the events happen I'll never tell.
5th panel, girl on our left side has lost the fur on her right shoulder (left shoulder to our view). Also, the arm of the girl in the 4th panel is pretty awkward looking to me. It looks like it's supposed to be curling in across the front of the guy but with the hand that way it just doesn't seem right. A slightly smaller nitpick I have (and not knowing the story, this might have been intentional) is that the girls in panel 6 and 7 look almost exactly alike to me and it threw me off a bit.
Otherwise.. great now I'm seeing the face on the chests.. or is that just me projecting? ;-)
I can't really say much more than what has already been said in terms of commenting on the art. It's an excellent style, very much inspired (by the looks of it) by Amber Williams and most folks around here are going to like that, myself included.
And who is that handsome nictarl fellow in panel three? :3 Thank you very much for the cameo, it looks great!
I didn't want to explain this. T_T I feel I'm going to have to try to be more clear in presenting things.
The green haired cat girl who works at the coffee shop is imagining herself as being the racoon girl, it’s not until she’s spoken to directly does the comic acknowledge her presence and switch the situation back to what’s actually happening as opposed to showing the green haired cat girl’s perception of the situation. This is hinted to in the fact that the text Dellusional thoughts related to perceived appearance defect is highlighted amongst the other symptoms, and that the girls in panels 6 and 8 are wearing the same clothes.
From the feedback I’ve been getting I really feel like I can’t cut any corners in order to save time, as difficult as it’s going to be for me to do I’ll have to draw out each frame with the fullest amount of attention placed into it. Next comic I’m taking everything everyone has said into account, we’ll see how it goes.
the one in the burgandy v-neck looks like she has a bulbus fleshy skin tag at the neck line. Extending the line, straightening/boxing the lines, or adding an extra line could help avoid this confusion in the future. plus the shading makes it look like a sphere... so unless it's an evolututionary mistake to have a testicle hanging off the character's chest... :U nevermind, forget I said anything. :mwaha
First impressions:
Love the facial expressions.
The art style feels kind of generic.
The timing and pacing is well done.
The breasts look very spherical, and seem to be set high on the chest.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 21, 2009, 05:05:25 PM
I didn't want to explain this. T_T I feel I'm going to have to try to be more clear in presenting things.The green haired cat girl who works at the coffee shop is imagining herself as being the racoon girl...
I didn't get that at first, and the
Dellusional thoughts element didn't really explain all that much. Then I got confused wondering if there were
two green haired girls, and I read it over again...
then it clicked. The identical poses in panels 6 and 8 were what clued me in.
You did a very good job of expressing something about this character through "Show don't tell (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Show,_don't_tell)." Not only do I
know something about her, I
understand something about her.
I love art that make you think, and makes you look closer. Maybe there was a way to make it more clear, but the comic still gets a thumbs up from me.
Quote from: Zina on July 21, 2009, 02:55:34 AM
When the line art is the same width, it makes the panels look cluttered and it's hard to distinguish what's "important" in the scene and what isn't, or what's in the foreground and what's in the background.
It's a little detail, but I think it might help for future reference. Makes things more pleasing to the eye and allows for the reader to take in the scene quickly without having the think, which is what you want.
I don't think it's a little detail. I think it's a huge detail. 80% of the time I don't like a piece of artwork, it's because the artist didn't vary the line weight.
Suggestions for depth cuing:
- Desaturated (Pale) colors look farther away.
- Smaller objects look farther away. (IE: perspective.)
- Highly detailed objects look closer.
- Layering objects on top of one another gives a sense of depth. If the dude in the background of panel 3 were half covered by the girl, he'd look farther away. (He would draw less attention if he were only half visible, too)
Quote from: Zina on July 21, 2009, 02:55:34 AM
Other than that, I really like the art and I enjoy the coloring style. You also do a wonderful job with expressions. I'm interested to see where the story goes.
I'll second that.
Haha, what I meant was that it's a little detail, but it makes a huge difference. :V
Quote from: WhiteFox on July 22, 2009, 08:08:04 PM
I didn't get that at first, and the Dellusional thoughts element didn't really explain all that much. Then I got confused wondering if there were two green haired girls, and I read it over again... then it clicked. The identical poses in panels 6 and 8 were what clued me in.
Yes. First time I didn't notice. Second time I wasn't sure if it really was doing that or if it was a glitch in the artwork.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 21, 2009, 05:05:25 PM
I didn't want to explain this. T_T I feel I'm going to have to try to be more clear in presenting things.
I didn't expect you to explain it as I felt it was story relevant and it just didn't click with me. You would have been just fine not doing so.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 21, 2009, 05:05:25 PM
From the feedback I've been getting I really feel like I can't cut any corners in order to save time, as difficult as it's going to be for me to do I'll have to draw out each frame with the fullest amount of attention placed into it. Next comic I'm taking everything everyone has said into account, we'll see how it goes.
This is the Tower of Art. People will try and find just about anything to point out about your work. Good points, bad points, points that only make sense to the person posting it.. all of it. I wouldn't take it as anything more than folks trying to help.
Quote from: WhiteFox on July 22, 2009, 08:08:04 PM
1) The breasts look very spherical, and seem to be set high on the chest.
2) I don't think it's a little detail. I think it's a huge detail. 80% of the time I don't like a piece of artwork, it's because the artist didn't vary the line weight.
Suggestions for depth cuing:
3) - Desaturated (Pale) colors look farther away.
4) - Smaller objects look farther away. (IE: perspective.)
5)- Highly detailed objects look closer.
6)- Layering objects on top of one another gives a sense of depth. If the dude in the background of panel 3 were half covered by the girl, he'd look farther away. (He would draw less attention if he were only half visible, too)
allow me to elucidate on points i (dis)agree with here:
1) True, they do, there's a few tutorials about that make a point of this, laws of physics tend to apply, too. (i've got a few tutorials for such things should you need them)
2) And most of the time, they don't do it right, and it looks rough as, these lines look damn smooth, and go excellent with the Style Jaxi's trying to convey. He understands the value of good, clean linework first, over line variance, perhaps he'll try it later on, who knows, but it's best to sort the former, before trying the latter too, otherwise it comes out like ass. Otherwise, Zina's Comment does hold true also, usually it's Thicker lines in foreground, thinner towards the back, and what have you, try experimenting.
3) strictly speaking, not true, they just look desaturated and pale. why else are high visibility clothing so bright? so they can be seen from a distance.
4) uh... smaller objects just look smaller.. i think you have your foreshortening rules confused there.
5) no, they just look more detailed, you mean that there is a loss of detail the farther away something is, and an increase the closer it gets, potentially, depending on whether you're a detail fiend or not.
6) ooooh, this could go either way, layering does give a sense of depth if you understand perspective, but if you don't, it'll look like you've just glued a set of cardboard cutouts together and took a photo.
Quote from: Mao Laoren on July 23, 2009, 08:26:18 AM
This is the Tower of Art. People will try and find just about anything to point out about your work. Good points, bad points, points that only make sense to the person posting it.. all of it. I wouldn't take it as anything more than folks trying to help.
Technically, the Tower of Art has rules suggesting that art posted here is requesting useful posts; "I love it" is not considered useful, without pointing out what it is you like about it. However, we do prefer that people provide useful ideas; "I hate it" is just as bad.
This has the downside of bringing criticism out of the woodwork; try not to take it to heart, JaxiD. At least, it's not intended to make you stop doing what you're doing - just to help you do it better.
Having said that, The Management tries to keep an eye on things, and correct things when people get overly critical. If you feel picked on, let us know, and we'll likely already have been watching. ;-]
Oh no, I'm not saying that I feel sad. Sorry I think I must have made it seem as if it were that way.
The reason why I am drawing each comic and starting the next comic after reading all the feedback is because I want to implement everything everyone has said into this, so pretty much a lot of what everyone says goes into the production of the next comic. What I found is that a lot of the things which I had skipped in order to cut corners and save time on drawing came up in what people said in the feedback.
How I figure is that this way these comics will come in slower to begin with, but after the first ten or twenty the style will evolve into something the fans of DMFA are comfortable with. This is why I'm making this comic, for the fans of DMFA, so it would make sense that I would want to incorporate everything everyone is saying.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 23, 2009, 11:19:06 AM
How I figure is that this way these comics will come in slower to begin with, but after the first ten or twenty the style will evolve into something the fans of DMFA are comfortable with. This is why I'm making this comic, for the fans of DMFA, so it would make sense that I would want to incorporate everything everyone is saying.
Don't forget that you also need to have fun making it, too! :3
Heh, people always seem to misunderstand that with me. Fact is what I have fun with most of all is making something that people can both read with interest and have fun taking part in the creative process. What I also have fun with is writing the story and trying to create something unique, for example, the instance where the blue haired cat girl says "don't be a square" and literally makes a square in the air between her fingers, and the instance where the green haired cat girl says "My problem?" when the exact definition of her problem flash up on the screen almost breaking the forth wall in the process. Things like that happen a lot within the story, progressively getting more and more weird.
Okay I'm trying to find a level where I can produce comics on a regular basis but also work with a level of quality that people will be happy with.
So the following is a section of an image from the next comic.
What do you think about this? (http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz224/JaxiD/marie.jpg)
I'd suggest that the front of the hair is a touch too thick in outline. I'm not sure quite what leads me to that, though; other than that, it's very interesting looking for the specific things you've got going on in each area.
At least some of which are in my head, not the art. Go figure... ;-]
I think it's the dark on light green; having white on one side makes it look thinner. Maybe.
The next comic is finished.
Comic 3 (http://fc00.deviantart.com/fs46/f/2009/210/c/a/Manifest_Destiny___3_by_JaxiD.jpg)
I've had to draw this comic with my left hand and I'm right handed. My right arm is broken unfortunately, I fell off my board whilst I was Kiteboarding so now I having a cast on for five weeks minimum.
I'm going to try keep at a steady update process but if I miss out a few weeks you will know why.
Holy hell. You sir, are a trooper. And I can't even tell any difference in quality...
You'll notice I use a lot of close ups.
They're easier to draw.
I like how the comic is going. I love the use of colour, and it's got my interest so far. The subjective reality thing in the last comic was a bit confusing, but overall I'd like to see more.
Quote from: JaxiD on July 30, 2009, 03:04:56 AM
You'll notice I use a lot of close ups.
And profanity. ;-]
Not that I'm complaining, mind. Merely commenting.
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on July 31, 2009, 08:18:56 AM
Quote from: JaxiD on July 30, 2009, 03:04:56 AM
You'll notice I use a lot of close ups.
And profanity. ;-]
Not that I'm complaining, mind. Merely commenting.
Aside from one noticeable swear word in the comic the only thing profane here is your post count, llearch.
Quote from: Mao Laoren on July 31, 2009, 08:35:50 AM
Aside from one noticeable swear word in the comic the only thing profane here is your post count, llearch.
I do what I can.
BTW, two. You need to look closer. ;-]
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on July 31, 2009, 08:38:30 AM
Quote from: Mao Laoren on July 31, 2009, 08:35:50 AM
Aside from one noticeable swear word in the comic the only thing profane here is your post count, llearch.
I do what I can.
BTW, two. You need to look closer. ;-]
No doubt. You do what you can and you do it oh so well.
Anyway..I saw both, I don't consider the first profane in the context. c: Fair point though.
Ouch. If you think one swearing word and a term considered a swearing word when used in another context is a large use of profanity, later comics will shock you.
Oh and using my left hand for drawing is not hard as I use a computer and so it does not matter if I make a mistake because I can edit it out. Luckily however I also have been work on a few new techniques which should in theory improve this style to some extent, I‘m still not impressed with the look of the comic, it needs to convey more serious.
I need to say there is a small issue preventing my ability to draw right now, other than my arm being broken.
I cannot go into it but I'm technically still an immigrant, the worst case scenario right now being that I could be deported.
Though not wanting to bring anything depressing to the board I have actually kept working on drawing.
I've been focusing on trying to draw the differences in the different races of DMFA and making them strikingly noticeable, so you will be able to look at a certain image of a character and be able to say "Oh yes, that's definitely a Cubi" or demon, or otherwise.
First up, which is a pretty simple race to be able to recognize, the Angels.
Link to Image (http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz224/JaxiD/happyangel.jpg)
Currently I'm looking over the comics I've already done and to be honest I'm thinking about redoing it over from the beginning.
Some people have clued onto the fact that I've been using this thread as a testing ground for deciding the best way to go about making this comic, which is true. I'm trying to push myself to work harder by not falling into false comfort and keep drawing the same thing over and over, I like how my anime style looks like Amber's style, but that causes problems in that it looks too happy for what I'm trying to do and that far too many people have claimed I'm stealing as it is. That's something I don't want to elevate.
haha, this took me half an hour to figure out how to write. X3
So next time I post an image it'll either be the next comic, or the first comic again but drawn differently.
Quote from: JaxiD on August 16, 2009, 09:01:49 AM
First up, which is a pretty simple race to be able to recognize, the Angels.
Link to Image (http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz224/JaxiD/happyangel.jpg)
He looks happy for the wrong kind of reason to me, but whatever. Looks nice.