Ok, seeing as we've got a new forum, I thought i'd better create another thread for the story. As stated before, I'm also letting people submit their character to be included in the story if they wish. If so, Just PM a profile of the character to me with appearance, personality and history description. However, there is a chance that your character may not be used in the story, so don't be put off if your character doesn't show up until further down the line, if at all.
You can view Chapters 1-4 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-story-chapters-1-4-29397938)
You can view Chapters 5-8 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-Story-chapters-5-8-29822403)
You can view Chapters 9-12 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-story-chapters-9-12-30757584)
You can view Chapters 13-16 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-story-Chapters-13-16-31041786)
You can view Chapters 17-20 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-Story-chapters-17-20-32597970)
You can view Chapters 21-24 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-Story-chapters-21-24-34409851)
You can view Chapters 25-28 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-Story-chapters-25-28-35884635)
You can view Chapters 29-32 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-Story-chapters-29-32-73365350)
You can view Chapters 33-36 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-Story-chapters-33-36-73365727)
You can view Chapters 37-40 here. (http://gareeku.deviantart.com/art/Furrae-Story-chapters-37-40-74132624)
Chapter 41
Making their way out of the city, the group headed up and into the mountains. The dull grey, cloudy sky failed to break apart into anything better, and coupled with the strong winds that resided up in the mountains, that made the walk a little less fun or pleasant than it maybe could have been. No snow existed up in these mountains, as it wasn't the right time of year for any to exist, but it was cold nonetheless, and while the wolves' thicker fur helped them keep somewhat warm, occasionally the other members of the group shivered slightly as they made their way through the increasing foreboding-looking mountain range. Their journey would be made worse as well, as roughly after an hour after first entering the mountain ranges, the weather worsened. The winds grew stronger and stronger, beginning to threaten to blow the group off of the mountain path and down the steep mountainsides and chasms that littered their surroundings. To the side of the path a little further along, was what appeared to be an elevator shaft; the entrance to the mountains' mines.
"If these conditions don't improve soon, we'll have to turn back!" James shouted over the howl of the wind, which was becoming increasing louder and stronger.
"We can't afford to turn back now!" Gareeku replied in a call of his own. "Doing so would waste too much time! We need to continue!"
"If we continue, then there is a big chance we'll all be killed!" Paladin shouted. "What about the mines?! We could take shelter in there!"
"No! I don't think we should be considering that!" the white wolf replied. "You heard what that bartender said! There might be something down there that could harm us! And I am not prepared to risk that"
"And there is something up here that can harm us as well!" James argued. "All we need is some shelter until the weather improves! It's either that or we turn back!"
Hearing this, Gareeku turned to the others to see what they thought. All of them seemed to agree with James and Paladin. "Ok...Fine...We'll go to the mines..."
Making their way to the elevator shaft, the group found that the power seemed to be intact, but there were a few pieces of the machinery that needed to be fixed before the elevator could be used. The area around the elevator was also slightly enclosed, sheltered the group somewhat from the fierce weather conditions.
"I think I know how to fix this." Jakob said, before approaching the machinery. Observing this, Paladin offered to help. Jakob then set to work, holding a spanner in one hand while he rummaged through his tool belt with the other. As he did so, one of his wing tentacles sprouted, the small canine head rooting around before extracting a long, thin plastic package from one of his jacket pockets. Swapping the package for the tool he had just pulled from his belt, he tore open the wrapping with his now-free hand and placed a small, light-brown stick in his mouth. The sound and smell caused Paladin's ears to prick up, and Jakob suddenly glanced around to see a host of canine faces staring at him.
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said. "Rawhide chews.. I usually eat them when working, I find it helps me concentrate. There should be a pack of them in my backpack if anyone wants some. They're cow flavour."
Gabi thanked Jakob before moving to the pack and putting her hand in it, only to find it blocked by an invisible wall of force, hurting her fingers.
"Ow! It's warded!" she commented with a degree of surprise.
"Sorry.. try now." Jakob replied, muttering a few arcane syllables as the bag glowed faintly for a few moments.
Gabi then passed the chews around, the offer being accepted mainly by the canines in the group. Aisha declined, her panther teeth not really lending themselves to the task of chewing strips of dried leather. With a joking grin, Gabi offered one to James, who accepted it, much to her surprise.
"Actually I'm very fond of beef," he said, before grinning and displaying a row of distinctly un-squirrel-like teeth from his Angel heritage. Noticing this, the vixen thought about questioning the squirrel about his teeth, but decided against it and said nothing.
A few minutes later, Jakob and Paladin stepped back from working on the machinery, seemingly satisfied with their work.
"Right...let's see if this works..." the grey-haired lupine incubus said as he reached for the machine's level and pulled it. There was a couple of seconds of silence, before the machinery suddenly whirred into life as power began to flow through it. "A-ha! Job done."
After they all stepped inside of the elevator, Jakob then flicked the switch inside. Shuddering slightly, the elevator then began to shakily descend, most members of the group looking around with concerned expressions as they wondered if the thing would actually collapse. Deeper and deeper the elevator descended, the group's surroundings growing darker and darker until the only source of light was the light bulb that shone dimly on the inside wall. After what seemed like an eternity, the elevator finally came to a shuddering stop, the door opening a whining creak as the group stepped out onto the stone floor. Looking around, the group found themselves in complete darkness. To try and remedy this situation, Gareeku channelled light magic into his hand and raised it above his head. As he did so, a white flame engulfed it, illuminated the groups surroundings. Looking around, they found themselves in a small stone cavern, with a stone corridor leading off on the opposite wall from where they stood, all of it carved out of the rock that surrounded them.
Before they could do anything else, however, there was a loud creak, followed by crumbling noises and the sound of bending and breaking metal. Whirling around, the group looked on with alarm as the elevator shaft came crashing down below, right towards them.
"Everyone move!" Gareeku ordered. The others didn't need telling twice, and so made a dash away from the crumbling structure, which landed on the ground with a loud crash, throwing up a cloud of dirt and dust in the process. Coughing slightly as they shut their eyes to prevent them from being blinded by the dirt and dust, the group then looked to where the elevator shaft had been once the cloud cleared. What remained of the elevator shaft was only a few girders and pieces of scrap metal poking out from a large pile of rock. Looking up, the group saw with alarm that the hole which the shaft had once gone through was now gone, replaced with a ceiling of rock.
"Damn it...the rock above the opening must have caved in..." Gareeku commented with a growl as he observed the damage that the rockslide had done, before looking on as Nero spread his wings, flying up to where the hole had once been and pushing against the rock to try and shift it, but to no avail.
"Well it looks like we're not going to get out that way." Jakob commented as he watched Nero fly back down to the others, observing the young demon land back on the floor before looking at the others with grave concern. "So what do we do now?"
"We try and find another way out...by going into the mines." Gareeku replied, a look of grave seriousness on his face as he looked around at the others. This had been one of the reasons why he had not wanted to go into the mines; if they became trapped, then it could potentially become very difficult to get back out again. For him, this was the worse case scenario as far as getting into the mines was concerned. "...Let's go..."
With the white flame still engulfing his raised hand, the white furred wolf made his way to the corridor on one side of the small cavern, entering it with the other sticking close behind. As they made their way down the corridor, the group noticed that there were wires running along the left wall of the corridor. Even so often, a bulb could be seen interrupting the line of wires; this meant that somewhere there may have been a switch.
Sure enough, a few minutes later Gareeku saw something on the bottom of the left wall where the wires suddenly took a right angled turn downwards. Inspecting the wall more closely as he got down on one knee, the lupine warrior found some sort of board-like object with wires running around and through it, accompanied by a large lever-like switch to the right-hand side of it.
"It's a circuit board." Jakob commented as he walked up beside Gareeku before kneeling down next to him. "It looked like some of the wires have become loose, which has loosened the connections as a result. It won't take a minute to fix."
Sure enough, less than a minute later, the wires were reconnected and fastened. Reaching for the switch, Jakob pulled it downwards, a loud -click- being audible as he did so. After a second or two, the lights along the wall began to flicker on and off for a few seconds, before staying on, illuminating corridor with a dim light. Stopping the flow of magical energy to his hand, causing the flame to disappear, Gareeku then carried on walking down the corridor, again followed by the others.
As they walked for what seemed like an eternity, various members of the group began wondering if it would ever end, when suddenly, after turning a corner which led to the right, the group found that the corridor had suddenly ended. Stepping through, the group found themselves in a huge cavern. The ceiling of the cavern was decorated with stalactites of all sizes, ranging from only a metre or two to huge ones which must have been at least 20 metres long. The ground on which the group was standing on was in fact a balcony of rock.
Peeking over the side, Nero looked with widened eyes as the chasm below descended into complete darkness, which not even the dim glow of the lights that were situated around the cavern, including some even being on the side of some stalactites, could illuminate, nor could the keenest canine and feline eyesight could see, save for the tips of what must have been the largest stalagmites that must have decorated the floor below, however far down that it was. Along with the stalagmites and stalactites, there were a couple of visible and massive pillars of rock, where it was evident that some stalagmites and stalactites had grown so large that they had fused with each other.
Looking straight ahead out into the massive cavern, Aisha noticed that a path-like rock structure reached out from the rocky balcony that they stood on. Looking more closely, she saw that one end of what must have been a wooden suspension bridge was connected to the end of the "path" of rock; evidence that the layout of this cavern had been taken advantage of by the miners who used to work here.
Looking to the side, Gareeku noticed a pile of material lying by the back wall a few metres away. Upon closer inspection, he found that it was actually a pile of wooden planks of different lengths. Passing some out to the others, the wolf then cast a fire spell to ignite the end of the wooden plank, the others following suit by those who could use fire magic.
"Right then...let's go. Stay close." Gareeku said to the others, before stepping out onto the "path" of rock, followed by the others.
Not knowing what possibly awaited them, the group carried on forwards into the unknown, walking with uncertainty into the looming blackness...
Chapter 42
As the group stepped out onto the wooden bridge, creaks and groans echoed out from the structure's' timber as they began to cross it. As they walked, various members of the group were continually looking around, their eyes constantly scanning the area as they moved. The air about them was completely still; no wind blew through the cavern, meaning that it must have been completely sheltered from any wind that may exist in this subterranean world.
Suddenly the silence was broken. A loud snap echoed out from underfoot. Gasps of surprise quickly followed as Gareeku fell down onto one knee, his other leg dangling through where a wooden plank used to be. Looking over the side, various members of the group watched as the pieces of wood fell into blackness, a few hearts pounding rapidly as they did so.
Looking back at the others, the white wolf didn't need to say to them to tread carefully. They had seen what might happen for themselves if they walked across too carelessly. Turning back to face the bridge before them, Gareeku began to resume walking, treading carefully as he did so in case there were anymore weaker planks that could not take much weight.
After what seemed like an eternity, the end of the wooden bridge began to creep into view. As the group neared it, they found that what lay beyond was a series of doors, four in all; a couple lay slightly ajar, while the other two were shut completely. What lay beyond them the group didn't know, but to continue their journey, they would have to find out.
"So then....which door first?" Aisha asked the others as she looked from one door to another. "It looks like we can only go through two of them though."
"Mmm." James replied with a nod of his head. "Maybe if we go through each one in turn to see what lies beyond, we might be able to make better decision."
"Agreed." Gareeku commented. "Let's try going through the one on the left. Not that it makes much difference, I don't suppose."
Opening the door on the left that was slightly ajar, Gareeku saw that a corridor lay beyond, sloping downwards a fair distance. On the floor of the corridor, however, there was a rail track of some sort; presumably for mine carts to travel along when the mine was in operation. Walking down the corridor, the group reached the end to find themselves entered a large room illuminated by the dim light from the bulbs that lined the walls. On the floor, the rail track ran off into a series of junctions, where various pieces of track then ran off into other directions around the room and into what seemed to be other corridors. Upon closer inspection, the group found that one of the corridors was blocked off by what appeared to be a land slide.
"Looks like we're not going that way." Paladin muttered. "I'm just hoping that we don't get lost or something if there are many more of these corridors and rooms, which I suspect there are."
"I know what you mean." Gareeku replied. "But it's not as if we have a map or anything, so we'll have to make sure our memories are working up to scratch."
"Somebody call for a map?" Gabi's voice then said from across the room. Looking over to see what she meant, Gareeku and Paladin walked over to where she and the others had gathered round a mine cart that sat on a part of the track. In the vixen's hands was a large but dirty sheet of paper.
"Talk about luck." Aisha said to the two wolves with a smirk.
"Indeed." Paladin replied, intrigued by the map as he took a closer look. "What does the layout look like, exactly?"
"Well by the looks of things, these mines are absolutely massive." Jakob commented as he too looked at what was laid out on the large piece of paper. "I bet that the people who worked down here needed these maps so they didn't get lost. From the scale of it, these mines could stretch through the entire mountain range."
"Then it -is- lucky that you guys found this map." Gareeku commented, who was a little relieved that the group was something that would help to prevent them from getting lost in this subterranean labyrinth. "So does it say where the best route for getting through this place is, by any chance?"
"Well it isn't all that clear, but from the looks of it, we need to be going through one of the other doors that was sealed shut." Jakob explained, pointing a finger too the place on the map where the four doors were drawn. "The path on the other side of the sealed door on the right looks to be the best route to take. Both routes beyond the sealed doors will take us into the heart of the mines, but the path beyond the right-hand door looks to be the most direct."
"Then common sense would say that that route is the best one to take." Paladin commented as he pondered Jakob's explanation. "The only problem is that we still need to get those doors open."
"From what I could see, it looked like the doors operate via electricity." Jakob replied. "This means that there must be a switch or something that will open them."
"Well it doesn't look like there's anything in here that will help." Gareeku said as he looked around the room once more. "We'd better check the other room to see if there is anything in there."
Heading back out to the doors, the group then went through the other unlocked door, finding that the room they stepped into was more or less symmetrical to the one that they had been in previously. After searching high and low, the group found that, like the similar room before, there was nothing to help them move forward. Heading back out to the doors once again, frustration and confusion as to how they would move on increased.
"What kind of a stupid layout is this, anyway?!" Ramsey exclaimed as his frustration started to get the better of him. "I mean, who would put such an utterly idiotic layout into something like a mine?!"
"I'm sure they had their reasons." James replied, knowing how the feline ninja felt. "I have no idea what those reasons -are-, but still..."
Now standing in front of the four doors once more, the group tried to figure out what to do next. It was then that, looking up, Gabi saw something in the dim light.
"Hey guys...I think I just found what our problem is." The vixen said as she pointed to what she saw. Looking up, the rest of the group found that there was another circuit board above the doorways which looked smashed and broken, almost intentionally. Following the wires that were running off of it, they found that the wires suddenly ended when they reached sections of the wall by the door. From the frayed ends which the wires possessed, it looked as if something had been torn off.
"Great...switches that have been torn from the wall. Now what?" Ramsey said, slapping his forehead as he spoke.
"There has to be another way through..." Gareeku muttered to himself, before walking up to the right-hand closed door and inspecting it closely. It was then that he started pushing it against it; softly at first, but then quickly harder and harder.
Seeing this, one by one the rest of the group joined him in pushing against the door as hard as they could. After a minute or two of doing this, they started to feel the door move ever so slightly. However, it was enough for Gareeku to see in the slight opening that the door was being locked by a large bolt of some sort.
"Nearly...there..." The wolf said as he and the others continued to push, until suddenly, the bolt snapped, causing the steel door to swing open and send the group plummeting down the ramp, which was very slippery due to the drips of water that feel from the corridor's ceiling. Eventually they slid to the bottom, coming to a sudden stop as they landed against something.
Getting up onto his feet, Nero dusted himself off, a look of slight annoyance on his face as he did so. It seemed that sliding down slippery corridors inside an empty mine was not exactly his idea of fun.
"I could have done without that at the moment...but at least we got through the door anyway." The young demon said to the others. It was then that he noticed the looks on the others' faces; some wore a grim look that was bordering on disgust as they looked at something behind Nero, while Jakob looked as if he was about lose his breakfast and Gabi looked more than slightly horrified. Turning round, Neo saw with wide eyes what it was that they were looking at.
Piled high, to the point where they were almost touching the ceiling of the room, were skeletons. Still dressed in the miners' outfits that they were wearing before they died, these now-lifeless corpses, or what remained of them, looked as if they had just been dumped in the room without care or consideration, like trash to be thrown away.
"Now we know why so much effort was made to keep anyone out of this room." Gareeku said, continuing to look at the pile of bones with that same grim look that bordered on disgust. "Whoever created this mass grave didn't want anyone knowing about it."
As various members of the group walked around the massive pile of skeletons, thoughts of who had done this began to creep into their minds. Could it have been fellow miners? The people who owned or ran the mine, perhaps? Whatever the answer was, the presence of a mass grave in an abandoned mine was something sinister indeed.
Chapter 43
"I suggest we keep moving." Gareeku finally said after the group had taken a good took at the grim sight before them. "Let us leave these remains in peace."
Not wanting to argue in the slightest, considering what they stumbled across, the rest of the group agreed and left through the door on the side of the room opposite the ramp which they had plummeted down.
"Who do you think did that to those poor people?" Gabi asked Aisha as they continued on through the tunnel that lay beyond the door they had just passed through to enter the "bone room".
"To be honest, I have absolutely no idea." The pantheress replied to the vixen walking next to her. "But whatever the reason, someone has a lot to answer for."
"That may be so, but we may never find out who is responsible for that tragedy, whatever the details of it were." Gareeku added after listening in to Aisha's and Gabi's conversation. "Personally, I would rather we get through these mines as quick as we can so we can continue our journey above ground."
"And here was me thinking you were a fan of dark, cramped, deserted and creepy old mines." Ramsey quipped, a grin of his face as he said this. "I'm very shocked."
"I'm sure you are." The wolf replied, more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice as he spoke, raising an eyebrow while glancing at the blond-haired feline. "Indeed. The expression is so clearly written all over your face. I admit it's a bit of a surprise."
Continuing through the tunnels of the mine, the group followed the map that they had found in order to try and prevent the distinct possibility of getting lost. It quickly became apparent that, had they not found the map, then they would have become lost long ago. There seemed to be an endless amount of paths criss-crossing each other as they made their way through. Many of them wondered how any of the people who used to work in these mines could find their way around without a map to hand. It had seemed like hours since they had left the room where they had come across the remains, and still the thought of them stayed in the each of the group's member's minds.
"Those remains...who do you think they belonged to?" Nero asked James, to which the squirrel shrugged.
"I don't know in the slightest. It could have been people who worked in the mine; it could have been people from somewhere else. Unless we stumble upon something which gives us a big clue, I doubt we'll find out." James replied to the young feline demon walking along next to him. "Personally, I am quickly beginning to think that we should forget what we saw and move on as quick as we can. What we stumbled upon was something sinister indeed, yes, but unfortunately the chances of uncovering the truth and finding out what really happened and who, or what, was responsible for the demise of those unfortunate souls is very slim indeed."
"As disappointing as it might sound, James is right." Gareeku then said when James had finished, having overheard the conversation while walking just in front of the two of them. "Whatever did happen most likely did so a few years ago, judging by the conditions of those remains. Since we left that room behind, we haven't found anything else that links with them in terms of how they got there and why."
It was then that, true to form, Murphy's Law reared its head. As the group rounded a corner leading off to the right, it was decided that they would stop for a few minutes to have a little rest, as they had been travelling virtually nonstop for quite a bit of time. Choosing to lean against one of the walls of the tunnel, Nero was in the middle of taking a swig from a bottle of water that he had brought with him from Ha-Khun, when a suddenly a loud creaking sound was heard from behind him, coming from the wall itself. Before anyone knew what was happening, the section of tunnel wall that Nero had been resting himself on had given way behind him, causing him to fall flat on his back.
"Ugh...I'm really starting to get tired of this..." Nero muttered as he got back to his feet and dusted himself off, rather annoyed that the fact that he was caught on his back in the mines twice now. "Is nothing down here without a surprise?"
"It certainly seems that way." Paladin replied, peering into where the section of wall had collapsed. In doing so, it had revealed another tunnel. Looking down at the debris of the wall section which had given way, it could be seen that it had been made out of wooden planks, and then covered by the same rock that the rest of the tunnels were made out of. Looking back into the tunnel, Paladin noticed, as did the rest of the group when they also looked, that the tunnel seemed more crudely carved out compared to the tunnels that they had been walking in so far. The newly-uncovered tunnel was also larger in both width and height than the other ones, and combined with the crude way in which it was carved, this made it look more cavernous in appearance.
"Now wait a minute..." Gareeku began, noticing the grin on Paladin's face that had begun to appear. "I'd know that grin from anywhere. We don't have time to be wandering off into other tunnels when we have the map which can guide us out of here."
"Oh come on Gareeku, where's your sense of adventure?" the lupine captain replied to his friend, turning to look at the white wolf. "If I know you, which I do pretty well considering the times we've bumped into each other in the past, you're up for a little exploring as well."
"I may be tempted, yes, but that isn't the point." Gareeku replied. "Right now I just want to get out of these mines and back on the road. I very much doubt Charline would be choosing a labyrinth of abandoned mines as her HQ. It doesn't seem her type of hangout, somehow. Besides, there's a big chance we'll get lost."
"Not if we have something that will help us get back to the right path if we need it." Paladin responded. "Surely one of us have magic capable of doing that. I would be very surprised if we didn't. Jakob?"
"What? Me?" Jakob said, initially surprised at Paladin's reference to him. "Well I suppose I do have my teleportation if need be, though as to how successful or fast it would teleporting all of us remains to be seem. What about your warp-aci, Gareeku? I haven't seen it for a while."
"I sent Li back to my family once the business in Ha-Khun was over." The lupine adventurer replied. "I just didn't feel I needed her, and felt it best that she was back with her true owners. Turns out that maybe I was a little hasty in doing that."
"Well we've got Jakob and the map, so I'm sure that's good enough. Come on!" Paladin said with a tone of finality, the grin back on his face as he turned and walked into the newly uncovered tunnel. Knowing that he wasn't going to win this argument anytime soon, Gareeku sighed and followed Paladin into the tunnel with the others.
As the group walked into the new tunnel, they quickly found themselves descending further into the ground. Many members wondered how long carving these tunnels out took, depending on what methods were used. A strange feature of the new tunnels that they entered was that along the walls, instead of electronic lamps, there was torches that would need to be lit by fire. Surprisingly, the material that the torches were made out of was still flammable, and so members of the groups lit them as they walked, either by magical means or by torches that they had already lit and then decided to take along with them in their hands.
After what must have been ten minutes or so of descending into the new tunnels, the group came across a rather ornate-looking wooden door...or rather, what was left of it. It seemed that the door had been damaged to the extent that there was large holes in it, adding extra fragility to the already weak-looking material. And so, with one swift kick from Paladin, the door immediately collapsed in a heap of debris on the floor.
"Odd...you wouldn't expect something like a series of mines to have a door like that in it." James commented, looking down at the debris as he and the other stepped over it to advance further.
"Maybe that's because we may no longer be in a mine at all..." Gareeku responded, looking at what lay ahead of them. The group now found themselves entering a large cave-like room. With the ceiling littered with stalactites, coupled with the shore of an underground lake situated fifty metres or so away, one could have easily assumed that it was a wholly natural undiscovered cave, were it not for the fact that there was glowing orbs littered around on the walls, surrounded by ornate carvings in the rock. As they stepped out deeper into the cave, the group also noticed that there were small entrances situated along the walls; some of which were closed off by wrought iron gates.
"Uh...guys...you may want to take a look at this..." Ramsey said to the others as he peered into one of the entrances. Walking with the feline into the entrance, the rest of the group were both surprised and disturbed at what they saw. Now finding themselves inside a smaller room, they held their eyes fixed upon the structure ahead of them; something which looked suspiciously like a torture rack, complete with sets of shackles fixed to the walls of the room.
"Oh my god..." Gabi gasped with horror, unable to tear herself away from the disturbing sight in front of her. "What has happened here?"
"Something that might be related to that...look..." Aisha replied, her voice low and possessing a disgusted tone as she pointed to a carving on the wall of the room. The carving depicted someone; someone who must have been of very high importance to whoever used these chambers. "That there looks suspiciously like a deity or some sort. I think some sort of cult used to reside here...someone has a lot to answer for.
Chapter 44
"Now we know, or at least have a very good idea of, how those remains we saw earlier came to be." James commented as he looked over the room once more. "Torture...sacrifice...all for some god this sadistic cult worshipped."
Looking in the other rooms in the cavern, the group would find the same sort of things; strange symbolic paintings, coupled with tools of imprisonment, torture, and execution. The feeling of horror and disgust grew with each sickening tool of pain that they came across, all the while trying not to imagine what the victims of these cruel devices and procedures must have gone through before finally expiring.
In one room in particular, there was a long table instead of the usual devices of torture and death. On it was a mixture of writing tools, including pieces of parchment, all of which were covered by dust and dirt. Rummaging through them, the group found that nearly all the pieces of parchment were either blank or damaged to the point that the writing on them was unreadable, save for one. Picking it up, Jakob began to read what was on it
"Our worst fears have come true. They have found us." The lupine incubus began to read aloud, the other members of the group stopping what they were doing to listen. It seemed that it was some sort of journal extract. "Those fools do not understand us. We are on the verge of finally being able to summon our beloved Ukotumin. These do-gooders have no right to stop us. All our hard work; all the sacrifices, they shall be for nothing if we are forced to cease our activities. They simply do not understand that we are doing this for the greater good of all of Furrae. A handful of our gifts to our god have even been allowed to escape in the confusion of all that has transpired. No doubt they will try to cover all of this up and pretend that it never happened. That cannot be allowed. We must be allowed to finish our crusade towards salvation and bring about the golden age. Thanks to those imbeciles, we shall be denied this opportunity..."
"What do you think that means? I wonder "what the golden age" is..." Nero questioned once what Jakob had read aloud had sunk in. "And who are "they" exactly?"
"Your guess is as good as mine, kid, but I'm willing to bet those "gifts" are people who escaped being sacrificed, and I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if that guy the bartender told us about was one of them." Gareeku replied after listened to what Nero said. "It could be Ha-Khun's council, a group of adventurers...it could be anyone. At any rate, at least we know one thing; that this cult was absolutely insane. It seems like they were so consumed with summoning their precious god that morals and regard for life completely went out the proverbial window."
"Oh I don't know about that..." another voice suddenly said from a little distance off to the side. Whirling round, the group found themselves face to face with another. A gathering of shadowy figures dressed in dark brown hooded monk robes and possessing various spear and naginata-like weapons was now with them in the cavern, situated near the shores of the subterranean lake. Who they were exactly was unknown, as the hoods of their robes were draped over their heads, covering their faces in shadow. "It all depends on whose moral systems you follow."
"I don't think it takes a genius to work out that you guys are the cult that calls this pleasant little domain your hideout." Aisha growled, glaring at the hooded group, as she gripped the handle of her boomerang firmly with one hand. "I would have thought you people would have learnt your lesson the first time your activities were foiled."
"If you are going to refer to us, then we would prefer that you use the proper name; the Church of Ukotumin." The hooded figure nearest to them, presumably the leader, replied. "And we really must thank you for rediscovering our cathedral for us, especially since it's been quite a while since we last visit this sacred place."
"Sacred?" James scoffed. "Maybe to you, but this is more than a domain of torture and death for the helpless souls that you slaughtered. This isn't a "cathedral" as you so affectionately call it; it's a god-damn hell hole."
"Precisely the words I would expect an ignorant heretic such as you to cry out." The hooded figure hissed, before turning to the other hooded individuals. "Start the ceremony! The time for our god to rise to glory has arrived!"
No sooner had the shadowy figure uttered these words had another group of individuals entered the cavern towing a number of carts. Gareeku and the others looked on with a mixture of shock and sheer disgust as they saw that most of these carts contained the remains that they had come across earlier in the mines. However, there were two that contained something else; one contained what looked like a giant shallow dish; the other contained a giant gong of some sorts.
"I may be pointing out the obvious, but it looks like those things are going to be used for summoning their god...and they're going to use those remains as one big offering..." Jakob said as he watched the carts being wheeled to the lake's shore.
"Then we had better make sure that they don't get the chance!" Gareeku replied with a snarl as he too watched the proceedings, before beginning a charge with his weapon drawn. Although the numbers of the cult was vastly superior, the wolf wasn't about to let their god be summoned if he could help it, and experience told him that when a cult was as serious as this one, there was a very big chance that this god they worshipped did in fact exist. Watching the wolf charge, the others drew their own weapons and joined him. Jakob and Gabi, however, were understandably a little tentative, as so would wait for any cult members to attack them first before using violence.
As soon as Gareeku had begun his charge, he had set his sights on the hooded figure who had been speaking to them while the others went after the rest, wanting to shut the insane individual up as he had tolerated quite enough of the cult's nonsense. It turned out that his foe had surprising skill with his weapon, as the cult speaker effectively parried the warrior's sword strike, before bringing it the bladed end of his ornately-decorated naginata in a counter attack, which caused a shallow gash on Gareeku's shoulder as he attempted to dodge it, causing the adventurer to grunt in pain as blood stained the white fur and blue cloth on his shoulder a crimson red.
"If you think you are going to get through us and stop this ceremony, then you are sadly mistaken!" the hooded figure roared, raising his naginata for another attack; this time thrusting the weapon at Gareeku in a stabbing motion. Seeing this, the white wolf swerved to the side to get out of the way of the weapon's path and holding it at bay with his sword, before swiftly moving in with hard punch that connected with a resounding -thwack- to the cult member's jaw, knocking the lupine warrior's foe to the floor and at the same time causing the hood to fall from his head, revealing his true identity.
"...You!" Gareeku exclaimed upon seeing who it was who was under the shadowy hood.
Chapter 45
"Heh...yes, me." The voice sneered in reply. Lying on the floor and rubbing his sore jaw was the panda bartender who they had met previously in Ha-Khun. "I must admit, I was pretty convincing back in the city, wasn't I?"
"Perhaps..." the wolf replied, before looking as though as he was beginning to turn away. Seeing this, the panda began to rise back onto his feet. He would be swiftly back on the floor again, however, as Gareeku spun towards him again, this time another punch slamming into the cult member's jaw and knocking the panda unconscious, before turning away again to deal with other cult members. "...or perhaps not."
Paladin meanwhile while ploughing through other members of the cult thanks to his powerful axe, sending various hooded figures flying with each swing. The others were also gradually making their way towards where the large dish and gong were, seeing off any attacking cult members who got themselves in the way. Slowly but surely they advanced as their foes kept on coming, attacking the group of warriors with relentless aggressiveness. Through the fight, cuts and bruises began to show on their bodies, staining their fur and clothes red as they fought.
It was then that, as Ramsey turned to face another foe, the cult member that he had just knocked to the floor thrust his spear up at the feline ninja, causing the weapon to be driven right through his upper leg. With a cry of pain, Ramsey looked down and saw the metal blade of the spear sticking out of the front of his leg, feeling the warm blood run from the wound and down his leg. Whirling round, he then gave the culprit a swift hard kick to the head before whirling around again and, with a flash of his kunai, disposed of the other attacking clan member.
Seeing these events involving Ramsey unfold, Gabi gasped and quickly rushed to Ramsey's aid, who was now on the floor clutching his blood-stained leg. Also seeing this, Gareeku stood guard over the two, seeing off any would-be attackers.
"Stay still. This is going to hurt." Gabi told the feline, and with one swift motion she grabbed the spear and pulled it back out of the wound, causing more blood to spurt from both the front and back of the wound as Ramsey cried out in pain once more. Once she had pulled the weapon from the wound, Gabi then immediately set about the healing process, her hands glowing softly as she ran them over the gradually-disappearing gashes. It wasn't long before the wound was fully healed and the feline ninja was able to stand on his feet once more. Thanking the vixen for her help, Ramsey then leapt back into battle.
It was then that, above the sounds of the fighting and combat, came the loud sound of the gong, causing everyone to stop fighting to see what was going on, as well as a few stalactites to fall from the roof of the cavern into the lake. Looking up, the group saw that, while they had been fighting to try and get to the giant bowl and gong, other members of the cult had been casting the remains into the bowl. Standing between the bowl and gong on a raised platform was the panda bartender, his arms raised in the air with a flaming torch in one hand as he looked down at the crowd beneath him.
"Brethren! It is time!" the panda roared, before beginning to loudly chant some sort of incantation as he began to hold the torch with two hands above his head. As he did this, the other cult members began to chant as well, calling out the same words as their leader.
"Oh shit..!" Gareeku cursed under his breath, before dashing forward trying to make his way through the crowd, as did the other members of the group. However, their efforts were to be thwarted, as they were held back by the cult members. All they could do was look on as the ceremony continued. The cult's chanting gradually grew louder as their leader then turned to the side to face the giant bowl, and as the chanting ended in it's crescendo, he tossed the torch into the bowl, instantly igniting it's contents in a bright flash of flame as another cult member then struck the gong once more, only this time the sound was much louder, causing even more stalactites to fall from the ceiling as many members of the group covered their ears from the noise.
With a maniacal smile on his face, the panda situated on the raised platform turned around to face the subterranean lake, his back now to the crowd below as the huge flame in the bowl continued to burn, illuminating the entire cavern.
"Finally, our goal is achieved! The time of salvation has arrived!" the panda cried out as large bubbles began to surface in the lake, beginning with only a few but very quickly becoming larger in quantity. "The golden age is here! Arise, Ukotumin!"
Suddenly, with an almighty roar, a huge creature emerged from the depths of the lake. It looked like a giant feral snake in appearance, though it seemed to be covered in thick, crimson-coloured scaly armour with horns adorning its head, its eyes glowing a poisonous green as it looked down at the throng of people below. Looking around at the cheering cult members, Gareeku grimaced and continued to try and push his way forward towards where the raised wooden platform, but to no avail; the cult members who were still standing after the fight had pushed forward to get closer. Growling with frustration, the wolf turned to the others.
"We need to find a way to prevent that thing from being able to leave this cavern!" the lupine warrior called to the others above the noise of the cheering cult members. "Anyone got any ideas? Because I'm fresh out!"
As the beast looked down at the throng of cheering cult members below, it titled its head to the side. Noticing this, the smile began to fade from the panda's face as he stared up at "Ukotumin".
"My lord...you are not pleased with our offering?" the panda said, worry and a slight amount of panic being evident on his face as he gestured towards the burning bowl. "We did everything that was required to bring you to us. We have followed what-"
The panda would be swiftly cut short, however, as before he knew what was happening, the beast had lunged down and with one swift bite, swallowed the panda whole. Witnessing this, shouts and screams of terror filled the cavern as the remaining cult members made a dash for the exit. Within a matter of minutes, those who had not been picked off by the beast had fled, leaving "Ukotumin" and the others alone.
Watching as the beast then turned its attention to Gareeku and the others, the white wolf grimaced as he held his weapon in a tight grip. "Uh oh..."
Chapter 46
With an almighty roar, the creature before them attacked. With its jaws wide open, baring its huge fangs, it dove down towards the group gathered below, intent on killing all who were living.
"Move! Now!" Gareeku bellowed to the others. Not needing to be told twice, each member of the group dived out of the way, barely escaping Ukotumin's huge jaws as they slammed into the ground, throwing dirt and dust up into the air as the ground shook.
As soon as they had moved out of the way, Gareeku got to his feet and made his move, unsheathing his katana and moving it for an attack, his blade shimmering as it was swung through the air towards the side of the beast's head. James, Paladin, Aisha and Ramsey did the same, taking hold of their respective weaponry and moving in for attacks for their own. However, such was the thickness of the creature's skin that their attacks barely made a mark on their foe.
"Great..." Gareeku growled to himself, before summoning energy to one of his hands, firing off a bolt of magical energy at the creature as it began to raise its head. However, again barely a mark was made on Ukotumin's skin; it only served to annoy the thing, evident by the angry hissing it was making as it turned to look at the white wolf. "...just great."
"Hey ugly!" Ramsey shouted at the beast, waving his arms to try and get the creature's attention, jumping up and down on the spot as the others looked at him strangely. "Over here!"
"Um...what in the gods' names are you doing?" Aisha asked the feline ninja, thoroughly confused as to what he was trying to do.
"Trying to get that thing's attention, of course." Ramsey replied, rolling his eyes at the pantheress as he spoke. "Don't you know a distraction when you see one?"
"I certainly know someone who looks like an idiot when I see one, chico..." Aisha muttered in her heavy accent, Ramsey not hearing what she said as he continued to try and get the beast's attention.
Grimacing, Gareeku held his blade at the ready as the huge creature snarled and seemed as thought it was about to strike. It was then, however, that the creature suddenly turned away, its attention held by someone else. It seemed that Ramsey had been successful in his efforts.
"Uh...yeah...someone wanna do something while I got this thing's attention?!" Ramsey called out to the others nervously, not taking his eyes off of the giant creature as it hissed at him.
"You mean that was your whole plan?!" Jakob cried out, keeping himself at a safe distance for Ukotumin as a look of astonishment appeared on his face. "Just to get its attention? What did you think was going to happen next?!"
"I don't know! I was thinking perhaps one of you guys would be able to help me out with that!" the feline snapped back, though still he did not take his eyes off of the slowly approached creature's head as it slowly opened it's huge fanged mouth, ready to strike. "Like now!"
With his teeth bared in a grimace, Gareeku looked around for anything that might be of use. It was then that, as he gazed upwards, the wolf saw a large stalactite hanging down from the ceiling right above where the creature's head was. "...that'll work."
Summoning magical energy, the wolf then unleashed a series of bolts, firing them at the stalactite, until it was forced loosed from the ceiling. With almighty crash, the stalactite fell from the ceiling onto the creature's head, causing rock and debris to scatter across the surrounding area, members of the group having to get out of the way of any large bits of rock that flew out from the impact. Once the dust had cleared, Gareeku looked on, the grimace still apparent on his face as he saw that, apart from being slightly dazed, his makeshift attempt at actually dealing some damage to the creature had failed miserably.
"Oh for the love of..." the wolf muttered to himself in frustration. "Is there anything that actually hurts this thing?!"
He would have no time to look for an answer at that point, however, as the creature had once more turned to face him, hissing angrily as it dove down towards him. It was then that it opened it huge jaws, but instead of trying a physical attack, the beast unleashed a large bolt of magical energy from its mouth, catching the wolf completely by surprise. Trying to get out of the way of the attack, Gareeku was then thrown a considerable distance by the force of the blast, landing awkwardly on his right ankle and crying out somewhat as a shot of pain made itself present in his leg.
"Gareeku, are you ok?" the wolf heard Gabi's voice ask with concern as the vixen ran over to him, healing magic gathering in her palms as she approached him.
"Apart from messing up my ankle, I'll be fine, thanks." Gareeku replied to Gabi, though as he spoke he was looking behind her, where the others were carrying on the fight against "Ukotumin".
Aisha had unleashed an attack courtesy of her boomerang, letting the weapon fly at the creature at it glowing brightly, spinning like a magical buzz-saw as it closed in on its target. As it hit, the beast's head was knocked back as it hissed, seemingly in pain. Looking more closely, it could be seen that its eyes were shut tight, and from one of the eyelids, what looked like blood was pouring out; Aisha's strike had seemingly hit a weak point; the creature's eye.
Seeing this, Gareeku knew that disabling Ukotumin's sight might be better than nothing, seeing that nothing else seemed to be working. Looking to the side, the wolf could see Paladin had also noticed the success of Aisha's attack. Gareeku also knew that Paladin wasn't using his full strength, and was fast growing impatient.
"Paladin! I don't think this is the best of times to just stand around! You saw the damage Aisha's attack did!" Gareeku shouted to his friend. "Quit kidding around and fight properly, damn it!"
"Well...if you say so." Paladin replied, a smirk forming on his face as he then suddenly ran forward at the injured creature. As he did so, a pair of wings in the same colour as his fur began to sprout from his shoulder blades, followed by a smaller pair of the same colour sprouting from his head. Firmly gripping his axe, the lupine then took to the air, flapping the wings on his back to gain flight as he closed in on the beast. Diving down towards it, Paladin then morphed the wings on his back into bladed tentacles, driving them into Ukotumin's other eye, destroyed it before leaping away again.
"He's an incubus?" Gabi commented in utter surprise, not taking her eyes off of the newly-revealed lupine cubi. "Since when was he an incubus?"
"Since always." Gareeku replied, a smirk on his face as he too watched Paladin dive down towards the creature again, readying his axe for another attack. "Show-off."
Sorry to interrupt mister Gareeku but this should be relocated in the Tower of art Directory
*edit- I'll get it moved- Damaris*
Oops. DX Sorry!
Quote from: Gareeku on July 09, 2006, 12:57:34 PM
Oops. DX Sorry!
Everyone makes mistakes Gareeku.
I like your fanfict nothing will change that.
And for those who are wondering what it's all about, it's a fanfiction set in the universe of Amber Panyko's DMFA.
And quite a good one, I must add. *Nods and gives praise to the writers involved.*
*seconds Gabi's motion* Aye a great read Gareeku gives everyone who has entered a spot in the limelight!
Thanks for the kind words everyone, they are very much appreciated. :)
Chapter 32 is now up!
Whoa! that's a great chapter!
*drool*
*cough*xzebattlepose*cough*
(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g147/Rheaspenguinshop/zodiac022.jpg)
This was a dream that i had...where some dude was bullying Kio and Zet..and i went crazy and i was in this pose XD
Not bad Xze! :mowhappy
I'm going to have to read these one day...
Yes, you will.
I knew it. And the fact that the creatures got stronger when her magic did means she's actively manipulating them. They'd better take her out before she stops with the shadow creatures too, or she might become too powerful for them to beat.
Good work, Gareeku. :)
Ok, spill it, Gareeku. How are you doing these so quickly? How far in advance were these written?
*EDIT*
Aii! I forgot to mention that it's a great chapter!
Quote from: Xze-Xze on July 10, 2006, 11:59:27 PM
*cough*xzebattlepose*cough*
(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g147/Rheaspenguinshop/zodiac022.jpg)
This was a dream that i had...where some dude was bullying Kio and Zet..and i went crazy and i was in this pose XD
Ok, i'm probably going to sound like a total ass now, but...shouldn't this be in its own thread? :P
Thanks for the feedback, everyone.
Ok, you're loaded with plot twists. *Bows.*
I take it once this battle is over many introductions will have to be made, considering both groups have increased their numbers since they'd last been together.
Okies, now I've had time to read it thoroughly, here's my usual compliment of suggestions and corrections..
- Jakob said as she watched her display of power. -> should this say 'he watched'?
- "Its strange…" -> "It's strange..."
- causing her hunch over -> Not quite sure what that should be, but it ain't right.
- Gareeku then swiftly raised his knee, causing it to smash into her head, before Paladin delivered a swift spinning roundhouse kick to her jaw, knocking the succubus' backwards and to the floor.
This could be simplified slightly, e.g.:
"Gareeku then swiftly raised his knee, smashing into her head, before Paladin delivered a swift spinning roundhouse kick to her jaw, knocking her backwards and to the floor."
Another fine chapter Gareeku. The fighting scenes are great. ;)
Ok, chapter 32 has been fixed, and chapter 33 is now up.
Awww shit- :mowdizzy
Great chapter Gareeku now WE get to see what James did in between Ch26 and CH27.
HOLY (censored)! If I was part of the group, I'd be running for the hills right about now...
Great chapter, Like Paladin said...
Not good.. not good!
Thanks for the comments guys :mowsmile
Chapter 3 was nice.
very sinister and dark
Wow, more great stuff! But then, that's no surprise. ^^
Just a couple 'o edits near the end, JP can't have all the editing fun...
1) "No longer were they the colour of deep blue."-- Saying that deep blue is a colour is redundant, so just "No longer were they deep blue."
Same with "with the irises becoming a yellow colour".
2) "and the pupils becoming slits like a feline."-- This sort of sounds like the feline is the slit in question, instead of its pupils. So, "and the pupils becoming slits like a feline's."
3)"with the irises becoming a yellow colour and the pupils becoming slits like a feline."-- becoming is used twice here close together, so it doesn't sound as cool as it could. A variation could be "with the irises turning a yellow colour" or "and the pupils narrowing into slits like a feline's."
But that may just be me being picky, especially the first one. *has fun editing and feels geeky for doing so*
Hilary I can safely say that Gareeku does not mind the editing, and no its not geeky to edit.
No, but doing it for a form of entertainment very well might be... :rolleyes
Hmm very well *throws Hilary at Paladin's Shortstory topic* THIS should be entertaining (well for me atleast :mwaha)
Hey! No advertising in this thread!! :cuss (just kidding)
Thanks for pointing out the errors, Hilary. I would do it, except i don't notice them until someone else points them out. :mowdizzy
*drops off chapter 34* >.>
Gripping stuff. No drop-dead obvious errors, either. :)
Excellent chapter! I was wondering when Charline would show up again...
Ok, now it was her, there's no denying it. The new chapter was exciting, and even though I'm still wondering how you manage to write this fast, I'm now hoping you can keep at it because I want to know what happens next. :)
Oh my! That was unexpected...
Extensive fighting lot's of action and great battlescenes are what describes this Chapter the best.
Another Excellent chapter, To quote hilary.
Nice one man now where's that lion succubus when ya want her :D
*Charline ooozes in from the shadows* Ah yes, puppet jewlery. A delightful technique. Not quite as thorough as complete soul manipulation and less powerful, but it doesn't carry the risk of personal injury should the puppet's soul be damaged, due to the intertwining effect of that level of direct control. But my my, Gareeku has a dark side to twist. How useful... >:}
Watch it, Charline...or I'll have one of my characters along with Ramsey go Ninja on your can...
Holy cow! (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v129/jaguarstarrunner/emotes/Jamessurprised.gif)
I'm gone for a little while and I see this massive update! Great job Gareeku! Though I suppose I should wake you up after having punched your lights out... (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v129/jaguarstarrunner/emotes/Jamessweatdrop.gif)
Guess it was convenient to have an angel around though...
Quote from: Gareeku on July 11, 2006, 08:47:43 AM
Quote from: Xze-Xze on July 10, 2006, 11:59:27 PM
*cough*xzebattlepose*cough*
(http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g147/Rheaspenguinshop/zodiac022.jpg)
This was a dream that i had...where some dude was bullying Kio and Zet..and i went crazy and i was in this pose XD
Ok, i'm probably going to sound like a total ass now, but...shouldn't this be in its own thread? :P
Thanks for the feedback, everyone.
i'm too lazy tostart my own thread at the moment :P
Awesome Stuff Cuddle-wolfie!!
Speaking of Gareeku, does anyone know where he currently is?
not seen him on MSN for a couple of days but I'm sure he'll turn up.
he should be on in a few days...
A few days? Then I guess I should take him out of this round of Invisible Friend. *Sighs.* I wish he had told me.
don't take my word XD i'm just guessing XD
Now that's what I call entertainment!
I do have a minor quibble in Chapter 34 for when Gareeku comes back, though. This phrase:
QuoteIn doing so, the choking of the succubus also caused the shadow creatures to dissolve into nothingness, due to the now-unconscious succubus not being able to keep her control on them while being choked
Seems a little unwieldly, a bit of a run-on. Maybe something like this?:
"As Gareeku tightened his grip, the shadow creatures began to dissolve into nothingness, no longer powered by their now-unconcious creator."
Or something like that. Just a suggestion.
Sorry Gabi, but i had work, coupled with the fact that my grandmother, who i was very close to, died on Friday morning, so naturally everything else had to take "a back seat", so to speak.
Thanks for the little correction, VC. I'll get on to correcting that asap.
Sorry to hear about that Gareeku. I just noticed one little oversight (likely on my part): When James tries to use any of his angelic powers/abilities, he must take off his glove, otherwise it will prevent him from using them (ex: making his skin hard, increased speed, light magic...)
Quote from: Gareeku on July 17, 2006, 06:03:25 AM
Sorry Gabi, but i had work, coupled with the fact that my grandmother, who i was very close to, died on Friday morning, so naturally everything else had to take "a back seat", so to speak.
Thanks for the little correction, VC. I'll get on to correcting that asap.
awww...poor Gareeku...*cuddle-luffs*
but kickinz!
and sry to hear about yer lose gareeku :(
let the mows cheer you up!
:mowsmile :mowsmile :mowwink :mowwink :mowcookie :mowcookie :mowhappy :mowmeep :mowhappy :mowmeep
Quote from: Gareeku on July 17, 2006, 06:03:25 AM
Sorry Gabi, but i had work, coupled with the fact that my grandmother, who i was very close to, died on Friday morning, so naturally everything else had to take "a back seat", so to speak.
Sorry to hear that. Happened to me as well recently.
Sorry to hear that. My uncle passed away a few years back so I know the feeling.
I have to say what everyone else has already said, but I am sorry to hear that. Don't worry about the forum, we can wait as long as we know the reason.
Hey, we'll wait even if we don't know the reason.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. Take your time getting back. We don't mind.
Thank you for all the kind words, everyone, they are very much appreciated.
I've got another chapter up now, too. It helped me take my mind off the recent 'events', so at least its something to do. :)
Did my nitpic via MSN but anyways..
So the kid is begining to act like a hero :D
I like the chapter :mowsmile not only because Nero finally show that he can be a hero, eventough he´s an airhead :mowwink I hope Aisha makes it there alive. :mowdizzy
:yeahthat Aiyno has summed it up nicely. And I'm surprised that you've managed to come up with a new chapter so soon, but I'm not complaining. I enjoyed reading it.
*Calls for Medic* person down!
Good Chapter, Gareeku...
Okay, good stuff as usual. Also as usual, some tweaks & typos.
Bad news about the end-of-sentence grammar, you can't use a comma at the end :mowsad so for example
"We can't do that," said Jakob. should either be "We can't do that...", "We can't do that!" or "We can't do that.". Bummer, eh?
Note: This has not actually been done in Chapter 35.
Anyway, I've only seen two glitches:
- "I take it you were the one who was control the succubus we fought." -> 'controlling' or 'in control of'
- "A lot of use need to be treated for our injuries"
-> 'us' not 'use'
Something else has occurred to me, but I think I'll send that by PM as it might be useful to Gareeku.
Quote from: Tapewolf on July 18, 2006, 05:36:26 PM
Okay, good stuff as usual. Also as usual, some tweaks & typos.
Bad news about the end-of-sentence grammar, you can't use a comma at the end :mowsad so for example "We can't do that," said Jakob. should either be "We can't do that...", "We can't do that!" or "We can't do that.". Bummer, eh?
Strange, that's exactly the opposite of what my English teacher taught me when I was getting prepared for the First Certificate. According to her,
"We can't do that," said Jakob is correct, the 2nd version is incorrect, and the 3rd one is only correct if the sentence ends there (with no
said Jakob after it, I mean).
Quote from: Gabi on July 18, 2006, 05:53:40 PM
Quote from: Tapewolf on July 18, 2006, 05:36:26 PM
Bad news about the end-of-sentence grammar, you can't use a comma at the end :mowsad so for example "We can't do that," said Jakob. should either be "We can't do that...", "We can't do that!" or "We can't do that.". Bummer, eh?
Strange, that's exactly the opposite of what my English teacher taught me when I was getting prepared for the First Certificate.
Well, I ran this by my brother's GF who does teach English (among other languages) and that's the answer I got. Counter-examples are welcome of course.
Ok, I've just performed a web search for dialogue punctuation rules and this result was ontop: http://mrbraiman.home.att.net/page25.html
I was taught the same as Gabi in school, so the commas stay. I'll get to fixing the other corrections later. Too tired now. x_x
Quote from: Gareeku on July 18, 2006, 06:34:25 PM
I was taught the same as Gabi in school, so the commas stay. I'll get to fixing the other corrections later. Too tired now. x_x
No problem. I can see I shall have to have words with Elise. :twisted
Great chapter. ^^
Speaking as one whose character is also relatively young/inexperienced, more power to Nero! :mowmeep
:mowcookie :mowcookie :mowcookie :mowcookie :mowcookie
5/5 cookies for this chapter!!
How many angelic blue squirrels are there in this universe? Come on there Pal! (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v129/jaguarstarrunner/emotes/Jamestongue.gif)
I guess I would have been about 10 when we first met though. Good chapter Gareeku. Nero finally steps up to the plate.
Quote from: Tapewolf on July 18, 2006, 06:37:44 PM
No problem. I can see I shall have to have words with Elise. :twisted
Uh...now now, no need to be evil. He could have just garbled that particular sentence, maybe.
.....
.....
*scoots away*
Annnnnnyhoo, keep it up, Gareeku. You're doing good. :)
I have two small concerns, though.
It seemed that, while distracted by Gareeku's tranformation, Aisha had been attacked by one of the shadow creatures, inflicting the massive wound upon her in the process.I think if you changed "attacked" to "badly wounded," you could get rid of the rest of the sentence after "creatures." Then again, it might be better as is.
her blood beginning to pour onto and stain his clothesI'm not entirely sure, but isn't "pour onto and stain" redundant? It seems like you could get away with just one or the other.
Quote from: Vaguely Creepy on July 19, 2006, 03:04:56 AM
Quote from: Tapewolf on July 18, 2006, 06:37:44 PM
No problem. I can see I shall have to have words with Elise. :twisted
Uh...now now, no need to be evil. He could have just garbled that particular sentence, maybe.
I asked her myself. Be that as it may,
The Silver Wolf doesn't do this, nor does Harry Potter 6, these being the books I've been reading since this grammatical dilemma was drawn to my attention.
Quote from: Vaguely Creepy on July 19, 2006, 03:04:56 AM
her blood beginning to pour onto and stain his clothes
I'm not entirely sure, but isn't "pour onto and stain" redundant? It seems like you could get away with just one or the other.
Use 'stain'. It sounds nastier.
I haven't read The Silver Wolf, but I wouldn't take Harry Potter as a reference. It can be mildly amusing, but not something to be used as a writing guide.
Quote from: Gabi on July 19, 2006, 10:35:35 AM
I haven't read The Silver Wolf, but I wouldn't take Harry Potter as a reference. It can be mildly amusing, but not something to be used as a writing guide.
Of course, but I'll be looking out for all books that use commas in this manner in everything I read subsequently. Probably for years after this dispute is forgotten :rolleyes
Heh, that's what I was doing today while reading Squire. Commas are used... *commas flash before her eyes* It has begun. D:
so..how is everyone? xD
I'd prefer it if you DIDN'T freepost in the thread. I've had a lot on my plate offline at the moment, so there's been a delay in the writing.
sorry v.v
just take all the time you need man, we understand :mowmeep
ok, i fixed the mistakes in chapter 35 (i think >.>) and finally managed to get chapter 36 done. :mowsmile
Nice. I'll read it more thoroughly later on, but that's my first impression :)
I'm running out of compliments here, just awsome gareeku. :mowwink
Put my two cents in via MSN but again great work! YAY FOR RJ!! :rj
nice chapter like always
and on that note..
WOOHO!! urban brawl! sounds like the crew might have some fun >:3
Wheeeee! :3 Nurse RJ's on the scene!
Okay. Here's some corrections. AFAICS the first segment is completely correct. The rest of it, from where Aisha comes round*, has a few typos.
- sluight -> slight
- beginninng -> beginning
- appeard -> appeared
- vaccuum -> vacuum
Queries and optimisations:
- Was Nero red to begin with? If so, he isn't going to be able to blush...
- "A little while later, Gareeku, who now dressed in his normal attire, and Paladin were sat on the roof of the hospital" - should probably read "Gareeku, now dressed"
- "I haven't hurt any allies of mine, but that doesn't mean I ever won't" - that just feels wrong, somehow. What about "that doesn't mean I never will"?
I think that's it.
*It is unlikely that these two events are related
ok, edits done.
Sorry Gareeku, I knew there was one I'd forgotten:
abosrbed -> absorbed
Thank goodness all of you are alright...good chapter.
I really liked Chapter 36, Gareeku. I liked RJ, and the explanation of her methods, I liked Aisha's reactions, and Gareeku's didn't disappoint me, and I liked the ended to. A well-rounded chapter. I can see you're inspired. ^_^ I'm looking forward to reading the one you're writing now.
Ok, corrections to chapter 36 made, and chapter 37 is now up.
i likey!!
:3 *giggle* But things are looking interesting!
Quote from: RJ on August 01, 2006, 11:09:54 PM
:3 *giggle* But things are looking interesting!
i agree, RJ ^w^....
WHERE'S THE BLOODFEST!!??
0x0 whoops..sorry...
Great job mister Gareeku :mowhappy
Quote from: Gareeku on August 01, 2006, 08:51:04 PM
Ok, corrections to chapter 36 made, and chapter 37 is now up.
Neat. As usual, I'll do a more thorough proofread later.
Yes, another great chapter. :)
I've just spotted 2 uses of the word 'i' in lowercase, one on chapter 35 and one on chapter 37. You can find them by searching for " i " (the letter i between two spaces).
Okay, here's my more in-depth proofing:
Typos:
- Ki -> Li
- "Raine immediately rushed of," -> rushed off
- "Dont remind me..." -> Don't
..and as Gabi points out, a couple of lower-case 'i's here and there.
Queries & possible enhancements:
- "not wanting to get hurt by being in the way of the fight" - nothing wrong with this, but personally I think "not wanting to get caught up in the fighting" sounds slightly more effective.
- "You assholes ain't gonna take his town!" - should that say "this town", or is he referring to Johan Cross who 'owned' the town previously?
Just as an aside:
"Well, they -do- say that the first step towards overcoming something is to face it."
If I was writing it Jakob would probably have muttered something about being afraid of dying too, but that can't really fit into the sentence structure.
Woohoo! All your base are belong to Gareeku....for great chapter!
Oh Warriors...Come out to p-
Whoops, wrong place. :P
Chapters 36 and 37, both excellent as usual, Gareeku. One thing in chapter 37, though: I'm not sure if this is really a problem, becuase I suppose it kind of depends on how you're reading the story, but it seems a little odd that you use the term "fur(res)" to describe the characters, since the story takes place in a furry world.
What I mean is, if you read it as you, yourself, the human sitting there in front of the computer, it makes sense, but if you're trying to read it from the point of the story world, of the characters, then it sort of throws things out of whack.
But like I said, it could just be me.
Exciting and intriguing, as always. :3 Now that I've finally been able to catch up, just one edit from chapter 36.
Gareeku muttered to himself, rubbing his forehead due to the slight headache that now made itself present. The warrior had no recollection of what had happened, aside from being overcome with a severe migrane.
First the headache is described as slight, then as a severe migrane. It can't be both, so you might want to remove the 'slight.'
the "slight headache" refers to the headache he felt when he woke up at the hospital. the Migrane was all he could remember when he transformed into his "feral incubus" state.
Oh, okay. I get it now.
UUUUUUUUPDAAAAAAATE :dface
Yes, after an unexpected hiatus, a new chapter is FINALLY up! :O
(there's also a line in this chapter that makes fun of myself. See if you can find it. :))
Ooh, bit of a cliffhanger there! But I'm so glad you updated! *hugs*
(Couldn't pick out that line though... I'm not in thinking mode exactly at the moment)
Quote from: Gareeku on October 24, 2006, 10:49:06 AM
UUUUUUUUPDAAAAAAATE :dface
Yes, after an unexpected hiatus, a new chapter is FINALLY up! :O
(there's also a line in this chapter that makes fun of myself. See if you can find it. :))
At last! Good stuff, as ever. I'm wondering if the line you mean is about the torches..
I bow to your greatness, an other great chapter after the haitus. :)
W00t! A wonderful chapter to return to the story with.
*Joins the acclamation choir.* It's great to read a new chapter. :)
*Charline sneaks in... looks around carefully* When do I get to cause more havok in the story? Interesting writing thus far. *zooms out chuckling* >:3
0w0
ABOUT GODDAMNED TIME!!!
Quote from: Xze-Xze on October 27, 2006, 01:00:52 PM
0w0
ABOUT GODDAMNED TIME!!!
Hey, i've had a busy real life. Don't push it.
*shnuggle-luffs* awwww, you know i'm just messin with ya ^^
nice, glad that your still ok.
and yes everyone..i am back from my break..not that it matters >>> no one probaly missed me T_T xD
Ah, good to have updates again. Feels....right, ya know?
:p
Glad to see you're back in action, Gareeku. Good work.
Finally, after just over a year, there is a new chapter; chapter 39. Not only that, but I've gone from chapters 1 right through to the end of chapter 36 and made corrections and little modifications here and there. As well as that, I've finally put up chapters 29 to 36 on DA. Huzzah.
Yay! Just today I was wondering if you'd ever resume writing this. I'm glad that you have. :)
Paladin should know better than to ask "what's the worst that could happen", and I should know better than to close my eyes before striking, but it all turned out well after all. :)
Once again, it's a most awesome chapter, Gar. Great work, it's good to see another one up again. ^^
Yeah, good to see this finally make a comeback. I can't say it was the most thrilling chapter I've ever read, but as a return to form it certainly hit the spot. And I must try to finish CJP 37 as well...
Quote from: Tapewolf on December 31, 2007, 05:50:13 AMI can't say it was the most thrilling chapter I've ever read, but as a return to form it certainly hit the spot.
Well gee, thanks. I'm sorry I'm not a truely brilliant writer and that I don't live up to your wonderous expectations.
Quote from: Gareeku on December 31, 2007, 06:27:03 AM
Well gee, thanks. I'm sorry I'm not a truely brilliant writer and that I don't live up to your wonderous expectations.
You're forgetting that FC is what inspired me to write DMFA stuff in the first place >:3
In any case, that's not what I meant. The fact of the matter is that the story has been on hiatus for something like a year, and it's going to take a while back into your stride. If you've ever watched Pink Floyd's
Pulse concert, it takes them a while to warm up too. It would be incredible if the first new chapter of your story managed to eclipse the rest of it.
There have been some truly great moments in the story and, assuming that your skin is thick enough that a single ambivalent response from me doesn't scupper the entire project, there will be again. Properly handled, the point where Jakob discovers that Gareeku has eaten people's souls promises to be such a moment.
Now, my comment was probably a bit tactless and you're right to be nettled about it, but remember the rules : this is not the place for mindless fawning and even if it was, I'm not very good at that anyway.
Yes, this is a decent chapter, and a pretty good return to form. I'm really happy to see FC return, but I can't in all honesty say this chapter is the greatest thing ever to have come from your pen.
I guess it's sometimes hard to distinguish constructive criticism from aggression, and Gareeku's particularly sensitive. It's not your fault, JP.
Everything below this line refers to writing in general and not this particular chapter or story.
Gareeku, you should understand that we like your writings and we'll never disqualify them. Moreover, we like you as a person and we'll never try to attack you. Knowing that, everything has room for improvements, and comments from the readers can sometimes help. You're free to disagree, of course. And you may have reasons for what you write that the readers are unaware of. When it comes to writing, things aren't often absolutely right or wrong. In any case what you shouldn't do is see our comments as an attack. Because they're not.
Sorry about lashing out like that. It was uncalled for, and I apologise.
However, it does sting a little bit when people say things like I'm "particularly sensitive", like I'm a tempremental child or something. Things in my life have been, well, trying, to put it one way. I'd rather not go into it as this is neither the time or place for such a thing. I do agree that I should not have taken it out on others here, and I apologise. But, and please JP, don't take this as an insult or anything, sometimes some things you say can be a little, well, tactless.
I do admit that this chapter was a little uneventful, yes, but I don't really have the energy to write an epic battle between our characters and a group of ragtag thugs. The idea just doesn't seem like it could be epic in my mind, and any efforts to try and make it something more may look a little silly.
Anyway, thanks for the feedback guys, I do appreciate it, even if it does seem like I'm in a mood. I'll try and write something better in the next chapter, I guess.
Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I did enjoy reading this chapter.
I hope things pick up for you soon.
YAY! The original FC is back! *is happy* :)
Aww... looks like I missed out on the fun. :P
Great to see you writing again though.
Chapters 40 and 41 are now up (to read chapter 40, click on the appriopriate link to the DA page where it's located).
Also, there is a point in chapter 41 where the music/sound effects on the mp3 that you can get by clicking on this link (http://gh.ffshrine.org/song/1205/3) is quite appriopriate in a way (when the link loads, find the "Click here" link, right-click it, and choose "save target as"). See if you can guess when it is. :B
Yay, Aisha's well again! :3
Another couple of awesome chapters, Gar, pretty exciting. As usual I look forward to reading more. ^^
Oh, great. I can't read chapter 40. The 'mature content filter' was on. I hate those things :<
Awesome chapters Gar!!!
Quote from: techmaster-glitch on January 08, 2008, 07:45:27 PM
Oh, great. I can't read chapter 40. The 'mature content filter' was on. I hate those things :<
If Gareeku doesn't mind, I can copy-paste it here. Strange, I don't remember anything particularly obscene in it...
Gareeku, I think you did a good job on that one. After the spat we had over chapter 39, I was kind of embarrassed to see you used some of my suggestions for the dam-fixing bit :blush. You're quite right, by the way, tactlessness is an ongoing problem for me. But I digress.
Anyway. There are times when you can have an ending that is too abrupt, e.g. "The Inverted World" by Christopher Priest (which IMHO just stops) and there are times when the ending is too long, e.g the film version of "Return of the King". With chapter 40, I think you've hit the sweet spot for ending that arc.
I see echoes of "Fellowship of the Ring" in chapter 41, not that it's a bad thing, of course.
My only criticism is that Jakob can only glide downwards, not fly upwards. At least, not with his wings... still, I guess we can assume he used a spell or somesuch. This is Furrae, after all >:3
And to echo Aisha, I too am eager to see what lurks in the mines...
Quote from: Tapewolf on January 08, 2008, 07:57:00 PM
Quote from: techmaster-glitch on January 08, 2008, 07:45:27 PM
Oh, great. I can't read chapter 40. The 'mature content filter' was on. I hate those things :<
If Gareeku doesn't mind, I can copy-paste it here. Strange, I don't remember anything particularly obscene in it...
Quote
Mature Content Filter is On (Contains: Violence/Gore and Strong language)
It's rating chapters 37-40 as one submission. I can't see the rest now, either, but I already read those ones.
I really need to update the copy on llearch.net :-/
For those who can't see chapter 40 because the mature content filter, I've now put a copy of it in the first post of this thread above chapter 41.
Quote from: Tapewolf on January 08, 2008, 07:57:00 PM
I see echoes of "Fellowship of the Ring" in chapter 41, not that it's a bad thing, of course.
Yeah it does have those echoes ^^; I've had the underground section through the mountains planned for a while, ever since you suggested the beef chew scenario to me. The way in which they actually decided to go through the mines, and well as the fact that the underground section takes place in mines itself, are the LotR-inspired sections. :B
QuoteMy only criticism is that Jakob can only glide downwards, not fly upwards. At least, not with his wings... still, I guess we can assume he used a spell or somesuch. This is Furrae, after all >:3
Yeah, I should have asked you about that really. Well I can always change the name to whoever. Either that or I can use the explanation you've offered.
EDIT: fixed the mp3 link. I hope.
Quote from: Gareeku on January 09, 2008, 04:08:59 AM
Yeah, I should have asked you about that really. Well I can always change the name to whoever. Either that or I can use the explanation you've offered.
To be honest, Jakob has such a litany of abilities already that I'd rather not add flight as well. I'll have to check the text again to see how high he's going, but one possibility is that he makes himself able to jump further than normal, e.g. by shapeshifting his legs slightly. I'm thinking of the jump enhancement in Deus Ex which worked by increasing the performance of the leg muscles.
Or, as you say, you could simply change the character >:3
I took the simpler option and just changed the name to Nero where appropriate. :3
Quote from: Gareeku on January 09, 2008, 10:12:05 AM
I took the simpler option and just changed the name to Nero where appropriate. :3
Yeah, that'll work. Thanks.
*Charline peeks in* When do I get to start mass-slaughtering things? >:3
X3 patience, you'll reappear again >:3
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! More of mah fave story i love reading cuz it's cool!!!
*reads*
I Came.
I Read.
I Conquered.
not really cuz Xze's not in anymore ;3; but it's still a good story and i love it and will continue to love it <3
Well... I hope it's not a Balrog. ;) Never say you're not going somewhere...
I liked these last 2 chapters, especially the descriptions. :)
Glad you liked the chapters Xze. Sorry about your character not being in it anymore, but the group was getting to be very large, and I hadn't seen you in a very long time. Same goes for the other peeps whose characters left the group. You never know, however, they may return...
And I'm glad you enjoyed the chapters, Gabi (and haha, very funny :rolleyes I knew someone was going to say that sooner or later...). I tried really really hard with 40 and especially 41. I just hope it's paying off.
And chapter 42 is now up.
Like last chapter, a suitable piece of music can be found here by clicking this link (http://gh.ffshrine.org/song/4173/12) (Again, like before, when the link loads, find the "Click here" link, right-click it, and choose "save target as"). Try listening to it near the end. If anyone actually chooses to, that is.
Another good chapter Gareeku.
It's perfectly understandable, Gar ^.^ Yeah, the group IS large but if ya ever need a BIG Villan..There's Ozzie >D With her...cuteness..of D00m...what am i saying she's to cute to be evil DX
anyways, i REALLY like this chapeter...the whole thing in general ^0^
d'ya mind if i print it all out so's i can read the whole thing over again during my study Hall?
I'm always a bit unsure about people printing it out, but I can't stop you.
Good work. One point to note about the door is that 'Cubi can perform acts of telekinesis. For example, even as a kid Dan was able to levitate rocks, so logically a properly-trained 'Cubi could slide a bolt across from the other side of the door. Of course, this would likely mean that most locks are enchanted to protect against that...
As for the bodies, I'm surprised Alondro hasn't yet blamed Charline >:3 I guess we'll have to see who or what is responsible for that.
*Charline whistles innocently* Who me? :3
Ok, this is getting interesting... Sorry for the late reply, I've been busy. In any case, I liked this chapter.
Just one little detail: where it says "the group was something that would help to prevent them from getting lost in this subterranean labyrinth", shouldn't that be "the group had something"?
Yes it is, Gabi. I'll correct that.
And yes, I know cubi can perform acts of telekinesis. We'll just say that there was some enchantment to protect it from telekinesis. Christ, is there anything that cubi don't have? It's' starting to getting frustrating when thinking of an obstacle that even cubi can't overcome without delving into their bag of tricks... -_-;
Humbleness? ;-]
Very funny. But it's starting to get just slightly ridiculous when trying to think of a problem that can't be solved by a cubi's almost limitless range of powers.
They don't seem to have long-range communication (thank goodness). Indeed, I've been generally assuming their powers tail off in accordance with the inverse square law. And as I mentioned, I don't like the flying ability.
Also, never underestimate the power of "I didn't think of that" as an explanation for why they can't simply cut through the door with their tentacles.
Another, similar point is that most of the powers tend to be a giveaway that they're not a Being, so if there's someone in the party who'd try to kill them if they discovered they were a 'Cubi, that alone neatly precludes most of the more powerful abilities.
Llearch does have a point, though - at least in combat situations they tend to be cocky and it's usually that which is the cause of their undoing, or at least a bloody nose.
Except a) this isn't a combat situation, b) Jakob isn't hiding his cubi heritage, and c) having to think through every little obstacle is going to get tiring quickly.
Another limiting factor which I didn't think about consciously until just now is endurance. You aren't going to be able to perform miracle after miracle without end - a 'Cubi is going to have to take it easy for a while after doing something big.
Horribly rude to chime into a fic thread without actually having read said fic, but as another guy who has to deal with pesky Cubi in a story...
Keep in mind that not everybody is equally trained in everything. I'd chalk telekinesis under "magic" and not "built-in feature". Dan obviously had some talent for that particular branch, but that doesn't mean that every Cubi knows it. And even with talent, it won't do much good without proper training.
Just like not every human would be able to solve complicated equations or even set the clock of their VCR.
A Cubi who knows ALL branches of magic to their full extent would be quasi-omnipotent, maybe only topped by Fae and Dragons. So simply saying that there are things that particular Cubi simply can't do only serves to make things more realistic.
And even with proper training, there are ways to design the universe to prevent omnipotence situations, even without resorting to plot-induced stupidity (which is a valid and often critical tool, mind you). For example, magic (or just individual spells) could be limited by sight. So if you can't see it, you can't work telekinesis or whatever on it (And no, I won't even start on how horribly boned my poor Kitzi would be in that universe.)
Dunno if that helps, just browsing through.
...and I seriously got to catch up with the various fics... apologies again for commenting without having read it. :(
Quote from: Gareeku on January 13, 2008, 08:16:02 AM
Very funny. But it's starting to get just slightly ridiculous when trying to think of a problem that can't be solved by a cubi's almost limitless range of powers.
Thank you, but there -was- a serious point behind the flip answer. Cocky to an extreme, as Tapewolf says, means you can set them up via their pride.
Other than that, well, it's magic. Anyone with magic can do anything they can imagine, which means you have to out-think them. Which is always tricky, unless they limit themselves somehow - as Sid suggests. :-/
It's a thorny problem.
From Gareeku's earlier reply his question seems to be more a case of "is there anything Jakob can't do" rather than 'Cubi as a whole (or indeed Creatures as a whole - IMHO Gareeku's concerns so far are not limited to 'Cubi). Consequently pretty much all of the answers he's got have been long-range ones.
In any case, if it helps here are a few restrictions on Jakob's ability:
He has never AFAIK displayed any ability in fire magic beyond fireballs, of the kind a well-trained Being can do. Most of his limits are 'soft', in that he can but won't. Ice-magic is a good example of that - he simply won't use it if at all possible. A side-effect of this is that he probably isn't very good at it, having lost the knack.
He certainly can't do the weird earth-shaking stuff that Keaton's Insectis has pulled off in Rains. In a nutshell, he can do telekinesis, shapeshifting, soul manipulation (this is rare), transmutation and sundry other illusion-type magic. If he was a Morrowind character, he'd major in alteration and illusion, but that's about it. Destruction and combat are not things he's particularly good at, which IMHO are the sort of things you'd want in a mine full of nasties.
My question wasn't directed at Jakob in particular. I only mentioned Jakob because he wasn't hiding his heritage, whereas Paladin, the only other cubi in the group, is. But thank you for the information anyway.
Being cocky in battle is all well and good for a weakness, but Paladin has the power to back it up (apparently he even defeated a tri wing before. I think that speaks for itself). So to humble him, it would take a creature that is basically a god. See the problem?
Not quite a tri-wing that time Gar, and she left herself completely open :P
It could be worse. There could be a Fae in the group.
Then again, Fae sometimes impose limitations upon themselves to make things more fun.
In any case, not all Cubi have reached their full potential in everything they can possibly do. But Jakob is a powerful incubus. It may help to find out what his limitations are. Same goes for Paladin.
Quote from: Gabi on January 13, 2008, 07:09:47 PM
But Jakob is a powerful incubus. It may help to find out what his limitations are.
I made a short list a couple of posts above. From the outset, Jakob wasn't really intended to be a powerful character. In some ways I've slipped, I'll admit, but to be honest, he generally goes for flashy stuff rather than raw power. I'm sure someone will come out with a counterexample :rolleyes ...but as a rule, most of the stuff he does is illusion-based.
**EDIT**
Actually, it might be an interesting mental exercise to compile a definitive list of things he cannot do...
Quote from: Paladin Sheppard on January 13, 2008, 07:07:51 PM
Not quite a tri-wing that time Gar, and she left herself completely open :P
True, but he's still probably the most powerful out of everyone in the group.
He may be the most powerful, but he doesn't have acorns that go BOOM! :3
And after a few delays including a loss of motivation, Chapter 43 is now up.
Looks good. Cults usually turn out quite interesting.
What about Pal's warp-aci, though? After all, Jakob probably isn't powerful enough to teleport the entire party all by himself in a single go...
I don't know whether Paladin even has his warp aci with him, seeing as he was going under the disguise of a being. If he does I'll add it in.
Quote from: Gareeku on April 01, 2008, 06:50:50 AM
I don't know whether Paladin even has his warp aci with him, seeing as he was going under the disguise of a being. If he does I'll add it in.
Yeah, he probably wouldn't have it with him there - to avoid suspicion - but I got the impression that the warp aci's owner can summon them on demand, since they often seem to sneak off.
That's true, though there is the possibility that he might not be sure whether to mention the fact that he does have a warp-aci as of yet. Then again, the group already knows that Jakob is an incubus, so he may summon Rex at some stage if the situation calls for it.
Quote from: Gareeku on April 01, 2008, 07:06:12 AM
That's true, though there is the possibility that he might not be sure whether to mention the fact that he does have a warp-aci as of yet. Then again, the group already knows that Jakob is an incubus, so he may summon Rex at some stage if the situation calls for it.
Indeed. I'm thinking that Pal is liable to shed his disguise if - and only if - it comes down to a life-or-death situation. At least, that's the approach I'd use if I were in his position.
Yeah, that's the approach that I'm going for in this story, though that might change depending on whether Paladin himself states otherwise XP. If he says that as his character is around people he trusts (Gar, Jakob etc) and therefore may be slightly more lenient in letting his heritage be known, then I'll add it in accordingly, but we'll have to see what Pal says about it. Either way it doesn't bother me in the slightest, but I'd like to know what he thinks in case I do anything with his character that I shouldn't, as is the same with everybody else's characters. >_>;
Once again, another awesome chapter, Gar. ^^ Hoo, can't wait to see where this leads. :3
Two more chapter, 44 and 45, are now up. It was originally going to be just one, but i wrote two instead. >.>
I liked that. Whatever they got it doesn't seem very godlike, which is probably a good thing.
In a way it's kind of a shame, all that effort and it never quite lives up to the ideal.
How to be a Cultist - Rule 3
Never summon anything bigger than your head.
Whoa. Epic. o.o
Awesome work, especially with coming across the cult, and the twist with the panda. Ohooo, now how to dispose of that beast... x3
Quote from: Tapewolf on April 01, 2008, 07:54:46 PM
I liked that. Whatever they got it doesn't seem very godlike, which is probably a good thing.
Or it could be that I totally
suck at creating beasts and other stuff like that.
Nice chapters, Gareeku! It took me a while, but I've finally caught up.
I liked the battle scene in chapter 45, and I don't normally care much for battle scenes.
I guess the cultist got what was coming to him, I can't feel sorry for him.
*finally gets another chapter up*
Woooo, another wicked awesome chapter, Gar. :3 No wonder the cultists hail that beast as a god, he's one tough hombre. x3
*Throws massive Paladin reveal party* Dude!! awesome chapter (not just cause Pal revealed) I devored it so damn quick it was over too soon for me :3 Gonna have to reread it...and again...and again :mowmeep
Save some for us Pal! XD
Great chapter! 'Bout time we faced a 'god'. :P
I've finally had a chance to check this, and I'd just like to add my voice to the chorus of 'yeah!', over the Paladin reveal in partiular. Nice work.
Oh hey, I'm finally getting around to commenting on this. :boogie
Very cool chapter, Gar. Nicely written, too. I'm gonna echo the "BOO YAH!" sentiments for Pal's reveal - that was rather well-done.
~Keaton the Black Jackal
Sorry for the late reply. Nice chapter!
We do have more than a few show-offs in our group, don't we? :mowwink
At least they can spare enough concentration to actually get the job done.