Belated B-Day present for Amber ***WARNING - (partial) NUDITY! Probably NSFW***

[berkinix]

Hey everyone. This is a drawing I did for Amber's birthday (I know it's super-late, sorry). It's the Tri-Wing couple, Siar & Seme. The full-color one is on my DA account, but the scanner made the colors look horrible and I thought I may as well post the line art here, for clarity's sake.



The color version is here: http://xvlvxvr.deviantart.com/#/d5cnsis.

Critiques are greatly appreciated, as I like to improve myself whenever I can. 

[Ignuus66]

Wrong gender for amber 

[Tapewolf]

Nicely done.  Is this on Furaffinity, by the way?

[Mao]

Hey everyone. This is a drawing I did for Amber's birthday (I know it's super-late, sorry). It's the Tri-Wing couple, Siar & Seme. The full-color one is on my DA account, but the scanner made the colors look horrible and I thought I may as well post the line art here, for clarity's sake.



The color version is here: http://xvlvxvr.deviantart.com/#/d5cnsis.

Critiques are greatly appreciated, as I like to improve myself whenever I can. 

Mmm, I can't view the image at the moment (though I've looked earlier) and I seem to recall that only thing that stood out to me was the relative flatness of the muzzles.  Otherwise nothing about it stood out negatively.  It's clear you put a lot of work into it  and I think it's a damn good gift.

Wrong gender for amber 

1) Wrong gender for fan/birthday art?  I'm not sure that's possible.  I get that you're trying to say that Mab would likely prefer males (because she's straight), but not everything is fap material and therefore doesn't have to be tailored that way.  The gender of the characters is completely irrelevant in this context.  It's birthday art ffs of characters who don't currently have much (if any) fanart of them together.  I would imagine Mab appreciates any love her characters get.
2) Not really critique or appropriate commentary for the tower of art.  If all you've got is an insulting, put-down attempt to be witty then you should gtfo.
3) Your face.

[Turnsky]

Wrong gender for amber 

you have absolutely no clue as to what Amber's tastes are, do you? Hint: poke through her FA gallery sometime.

plus, if one has the nerve to criticise a gift that's freely given to another, it just shows you in a very poor light.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Mmm, I can't view the image at the moment (though I've looked earlier) and I seem to recall that only thing that stood out to me was the relative flatness of the muzzles.  Otherwise nothing about it stood out negatively.  It's clear you put a lot of work into it  and I think it's a damn good gift.

I'm inclined to say just one of the muzzles (the left, not the right) is flat; although, I grant you, the right-hand muzzle might be slightly longer, it's not sufficiently off to be a problem. However, this is a known problem (ie, lots of people struggle with it) WRT front-on views of anthro muzzles, and how to make them look a) muzzle-like, without b) making the face look inhuman. Given the left-hand is full-face, whereas the right-hand is three-quarter profile, that might be enough to explain the difference in what I see.

The only other point I might add is feet, and that's a bit of a bind - Amber tends to go for "let's not show the feet at all", which makes it tricky, but when she does, digitigrade versus plantigrade varies depending on the species. She certainly tends to avoid humaniform feet where possible - and with style - which makes her a hard act to follow. :-/

Having said that, I have to agree with Mao - it's an awesome present. And it's clear you've put a lot of thought into where to have the many and varied wings, not to mention the composition of the picture as a whole; frankly, your composition is wonderful enough to make me consider what _else_ we might persuade you to draw...

[AmberCross]

I'm a somewhat less famous personality than the previous three four guys (really need to work on my counting skills), but would like to say that this is very good, and really sweet. It's nice to see Seme from the happy days. It's very bittersweet, an emotion pictures do not often evoke. As for advice, I had originally been going to say something about the feet and specifically Siar's toes looking off, but they're really not that bad. What I WOULD mention is something I didn't notice until a bit later: their arms are really thin compared to their torsos. They aren't TOO much thinner than they should be, but it's enough that I noticed something off about them. Granted Seme's wings were pretty thin in the clan leader shot, but she did have muscle definition which these two lack here. Human arms rarely arm straight lines, they almost always have some bulge caused by muscle or transition points at joints. You have a little bit of that in Siar's left arm, but I would suggest considering exaggerating it a bit. Of course this is just my opinion and that sort of thing can fall into 'art style' where some people for instance like drawing people with unreasonably defined muscles, but if you feel any resonance with what I'm saying about those arms, consider asking a few others if they notice it too.

Okay, enough with critique; loved your picture, makes me want to find and finish a picture of my own I started trying to do back with Amber had ALL of the sads last year or so, I couldn't view the colored version without a deviantart account so is there another place I can find this?, and lastly.... I've never actually seen Siar before. How did you know what he looks like? (Unless I'm being a moron and Siar is literally related to Clan Siar, but there seem to be numerous reasons why that would not be so.)

[berkinix]

Ah, sorry for those unable to see the color version. It's because I flagged it as Mature Content on DA. And to answer Tapewolf, no, I don't have a FurAffinity account. I don't actually have much access to the internet, and the only reason I have a DA account in the first place is because I created it years ago (and almost forgot it existed). Anyhow, here's the color version (it looks horrible - you can't even make out Siar's face too well because the scanner made the colors so dark!):



Thanks for all the feedback. I must admit, I did struggle quite a bit with Siar's feet, since the lower half of her legs are never shown in Abel's Story (same reason I didn't show a tail, but I can attribute that to the way they're sitting). My sister even suggested I blur out their bottom halves with clouds or something, but I felt that was a copout, so meh. People bring up a good point with the muzzles too; I tried to add more dimension to Siar's face especially with the markers, but don't think I pulled it off too well (plus, the color image is so dark you can't even see anything except her nose and eyes). And then the wings...! Gah, I believe Amber posted once that Tri-Wing cubi can be a bit cluttered, and I was able to verify that for myself. I don't know how she manages to pull it off so beautifully.

[AmberCross]

Ah, so it is in fact THAT Siar. The coloring makes it obvious, it just took me a while to figure out why I was confused in the first place. Turns out, for some reason I thought 'Siar' was the name of the old clan leader of Clan Seme (aka Clan Divallis at that point) and that when 'Clan Divallis' Siar died, Seme stepped up to the plate while in mourning. Realizing I've been wrong about that all this time is kind of mind-blowing. Another reason I've glad I noticed this. Also, thanks for posting the colored version. The color on the muzzle is not as bad as you seem to think and it was able to give me quite a bit of context.

[Tapewolf]

Ah, sorry for those unable to see the color version. It's because I flagged it as Mature Content on DA. And to answer Tapewolf, no, I don't have a FurAffinity account. I don't actually have much access to the internet, and the only reason I have a DA account in the first place is because I created it years ago (and almost forgot it existed). Anyhow, here's the color version (it looks horrible - you can't even make out Siar's face too well because the scanner made the colors so dark!):

Ah, I see.  I was just thinking FA might be a better bet because that's where most of the DMFA folks are, Amber included.  I don't know if she was even on DA, but a lot of people got huffy about the rules a few years ago and moved over to Furaffinity instead.

If you can find the time it might be worth creating an account there just to stick this on it