[Video] - The Return of Dark Pegasus (Part 1) - critique needed

[Tapewolf]

Okay, there have been a lot of delays with this, partly because James wasn't able to continue production of the series, partly because I spent a year or two trying to get hold of the original PSD files of DMFA, and partly because once I finally did get them, I was scared to do this for fear of Old Art Syndrome.

However, these things are not usually as bad as you think and I rather enjoyed listening to it all again.

So, I now present the video for the first episode of The Return of Dark Pegasus.  However, it's not officially out, I would like critique on the video editing.
The soundtrack itself is pretty much locked down now and I'm not interested in comments on that, I know it has a few problems (mostly with contributing VAs having crappy recording kit).

Rather, what I would like to know is whether the slideshow can be improved substantially before I make a final release, whether I've missed a trick, whether there are any design decisions that people disagree with and so on.

So without further ado:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q_6iwJTffE

[Aisha deCabre]

Heh, it's always nice to see some progress from the Radio Project.  The whole thing looks good to me, and the slideshow goes well with the relevant parts and voice actors as far as I can see.

As usual I'm both in awe and laughter at James' portrayal of Dan, too. x3  Along with everybody else o' course.

[Surzsha]

Well to be honest a slideshow is a slideshow, and personally I ignore the visuals and focus on the audio on these types of projects (and nitpick the hell out of the voice acting). Yeah you can call me biased because I enjoy animations better or whatever...

HOWEVER, what you've managed to do still goes well with the audio, even for a simple slideshow. And I have to admit it keeps the old comic-reading tradition of letting the audience fill in the blanks between panels, which is what I love about comics. Now to be a bit critical I do find that you don't keep your transition types constant.

The quick cuts are good between panels, especially when it's a running scene and not much time has passed between strips, but I find some of the fade in-out transitions to be out of place. For instance, between original strips 883 and 884 (and I can't believe I have to specify this), when Shannah tries to punch through the wooden box, the actual time-skip between the strips isn't really that long. Shannah punches, gets electrocuted, then immediately caresses her injured fist. But the way you edited 883's last panel and 884's first panel (with a fade in and out transition) visually implied that a minute or so passed between electrocution and pulling back (which implies that it took awhile for the pain to register), instead of the entire event happening immediately. That kind of transition is actually better for the scene changes (between 858 and 859) and time transitions (between 894 and 895), which you did a good job at.

Still, I'll assume you know which cut works well with what since transitions are basic Film 101, so I can respect that you felt that some of your choices could not be avoided. In fact, you've had the right idea before in the first half of your Recipe for Disasters (part1/3) video. All I can say for this, and any future full-length release, is that your audio and video editing does not have to be strictly tied to the comic's format. There doesn't have to be silence and there doesn't have to be a fade in-out transition at all points between comic strips. In fact, I like it when you add noises to imply character action in what originally takes place between individual panels and full strips to make a scene run fluidly.

I'm sorry if this seems unnecessary, but it is what I think. Despite all that, I still like what you and your crew have been doing, and enjoy when you all improve, so keep on doing what you're doing.

[Ignuus66]

To be frank, I dislike it (mainly) due to the fact that I'd imagine the character voices to be different, but disregarding that, it's pretty good.

[Tapewolf]

The quick cuts are good between panels, especially when it's a running scene and not much time has passed between strips, but I find some of the fade in-out transitions to be out of place. For instance, between original strips 883 and 884 (and I can't believe I have to specify this), when Shannah tries to punch through the wooden box, the actual time-skip between the strips isn't really that long. Shannah punches, gets electrocuted, then immediately caresses her injured fist. But the way you edited 883's last panel and 884's first panel (with a fade in and out transition) visually implied that a minute or so passed between electrocution and pulling back (which implies that it took awhile for the pain to register), instead of the entire event happening immediately. That kind of transition is actually better for the scene changes (between 858 and 859) and time transitions (between 894 and 895), which you did a good job at.

I might try that.  I had a gut feeling that the sudden cuts were a bit abrupt and a smoother transition would be more appropriate, but yes - I should probably speed some of them up and be a bit more consistent except where I'm using it to achieve a particular effect.  Either way, this is exactly what I wanted in terms of critique.

What I have tended to do is save the jump cuts for things like Dan being suddenly whacked on the head etc, and fast-paced scenes.

[James StarRunner]

As usual I'm both in awe and laughter at James' portrayal of Dan, too. x3  Along with everybody else o' course.

Much appreciated Aisha! You make a great Destania I hope you know. ;3

The sucky thing now though is that Jana's laptop (the only working computer) is hardly working in the best of times. The charger is still shot and apparently the replacement part is crap. My new android smartphone I got when we switched to a less expensive phone provider has been what I've been going online with lately.

If I were to add anything to the slideshow, it may be to shake the frame at hits, slams, falls, and the like. But that's getting pretty ambitious.