[writing] I finished a novel and need a Query to be critiqued

[Castle Pokemetroid]

Dear Agent/Publisher,

A biological humanoid mechanical being known by the serial name Model 347 is left without a name or purpose within a city entirely composed of mechanical citizens. Not only that, but the four guardians and the twenty six Armored Automations that protect the city have viewed Model 347 as a threat.

Trapped within a body resembling a teenager in a metal suit of armor, Model 347 is forced to defend his life against a small army of machines, if he is to find out his past, and the very truth hidden within an entire planet built upon the lies of the Higher Ups in control of the City of Steel.

A special Metal Energy Gravitational Annomaly system known as the MEGA system has given Model 347, later named AND, a fighting chance. Wielding an energy saber able change shape to the will of AND, and capable of slicing through any non energy based material on the face of the planet, AND has been given a fighting chance.

And even in the heat of battle, AND's every thought is known the the reader, written through a first person POV style. Understand the confusion and feelings that AND does, as he learns not only about the beggining of time and the creation of the City of Steel, but unlocks the true power of one of the ten MEGA systems left by the fallen king of the city of steel. The power of the stars and beyond. Not even the sky's the limit as how far the power of MEGA and AND shall go, for the end of the world draws near.

From the beggining of time, to the end of the world, AND discovers not only himself and his eons old past, but the truth and power locked within the very planet itself in the 80,000 word Science Fiction Novel of one of the novels in my Sword of Sorrow Series: City of Steel.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerly,

My Name



Also, what crap should I include in the Query, and how can I fix what I have? I need it to be able to stand out from the rest and be able to capture the Agent/Publisher's attention. I'll never get it published if it can't.

The beginning and ending are mentioned in the Query, but no plot twists are mentioned. Should I do that? Flat out mention them? I think I've hinted enough at it.

Also, will it help to mention that this story will be one in a series? I think it will, but that's just me.

I'm calling my Novel Series by the same name as my animation series.

Hell, I call my cat by the same name. Not really, but it seems like something I'd do.