Star Wreck'd (OOC) ["M"] (Back, but still Open.)

[Drayco84]

   Alright, this kicks off the OOC thread. Just to make absolutely sure, I'm going to lay down a few rules. Biggest is number one...

  1: The goal of this RP is to have fun with it!
  If you guys aren't having fun with this, let me know so I can try to adjust things to make it more fun. However, just to make this ABSOLUTELY clear, your characters are, from this point out, butt monkeys. I will screw with them, you will screw with them, and everybody is going to be screwing with each others' characters. (Not literally though... At the very least, get PUBLIC OOC consent and for the love of the forum, DO IT OFF-SCREEN!) The whole point of this RP is comedy and I know I'm sounding like a broken record with this, but it bears repeating.
  While this is a comedy-based RP, please try to refrain from any Dead Baby Humor and Black Humor. Innuendo is totally fine, though.

  2: My word is essentially law in the RP.
  Unless any of the forum mods disagree, in which case THEIR word is law. Laws can be bent or subverted under certain situations. Also, THESE RULES MAY CHANGE!

  3: I am new to GMing, and open to suggestions.
  This is my first RP and I'm bound to make mistakes. Feel free to speak up in case you feel that I've wronged you. I also don't want anyone leaving because I decided to be an asshole about something stupid. Conversely, normal etiquette applies. (And it applies BOTH ways. If I'm being a major dick, the mods are still there to bitch-slap me. This shouldn't EVER be a problem, but just in case...)

  4: We're using color schemes for OOC and Official GM.
  Yeah, I ripped it off of Mechanisto... Sorry, but if something works, its usually worth copying. Anyway, Teal is reserved for OOC notes and whatnot. Orange is for official GM decisions and important crap you should probably pay attention to.

Anyway, without further delay, meet the pyschos and weirdos your character is going to be stuck inside a small metal container for weeks or months on end with!

Captain: Locklear Kodayn (Azlan)

  Age/Life Expectancy: 750/unknown, thought to be immortal (without the head chopping off thing).
  Race/Species: Valallai (pronounced like VAUL-LOLLIE).
  Appearance: Superficially appears to be a type of bipedal, furred mammal resembling a cross between a raccoon and a canid.  His fur is short and gray in coloration with black mask-like markings.  The tail is long and lemur-like, bushy and striped with black.  The ears are fox-like and are capable of 180 degree directional swiveling like that of canids.  Both the hands/feet and ears are black.  They possess small claws on their fingers and toes with vestigial structures for retractability.  He has blue eyes and ashen gray skin under all the fur.  He is of average height when compared to humans.
  Qualifications For Position/Abilities:  Super strength: can lift and throw vehicles at people casually, but possesses very fine control.  Preternatural Agility: Can dance around light beams or jump between the tops of bamboo stalks growing from cursed Chinese springs.  Insane biology: does not need to sleep, eat or produce waste products.  Semi-psychic influence: subconsciously affects the minds of politicians, lawyers and higher officers to forgive and like him (also allows him to beat people soundly in games).  Unusually frightening record involving the collapse of the CoW, death of the CoW President, countless wars with the border systems, and numerous embarrassing trysts with space princesses across the known galaxy that end in major fail.
  Personality/Psych Profile:  Surprisingly friendly and pleasant sort.  Obsessively busy and needs to be occupied, but this doesn't necessarily mean doing one's job.  He is just as likely to be found playing games in the holo-lounge or having inappropriate relations with the female members of the crew, as actually working.  He also may periodically decide to fix or redesign entire ship systems, despite it not being his job, resulting in critical functions not being available or functioning in the expected way when they are needed.   Strongly emotional; he is far more likely to succumb to emotionally charged situations then others.  This may cause him to succumb to emotions as opposed to render logical decisions at important moments.

First Officer: Click (Danman)

  Age/Life expectancy: Until killed
  Gender: Complicated.
  Race/Species: *another series of clicking noises, but longer*... They call us Shadows.
  Qualification: Enormous intellect adept at making up excuses, Can phase out which aids in shirking active duty, especially in emergencies. Due to racial traits, not only can endure disarray and chaos, it likes them.
Psionics: Telekinetic powers and electrokinetics help - you know how hard it's to pick up a phaser with your pincers?
Adept at biotech - what do you mean you don't want a slimy laptop? It runs on kitchen scraps instead of batteries! And it has antitheft teeth!
  Personality/quirks: SCARY TELEPATHS! THEY MAKE SHIPS GO CRAZY! MUST DIE!
Irrational discomfort in presence of Biolit, Raid, or DDT.
Was one of the capable shadow engineers who decided a selfdestruct system on Z'ha'Dum is a really good idea in case it gets captured.

Security Officer: Oshimaeda/Nanda Girish (Meany)

  Age/Life Expectancy: 533/154, Symbiote: 1000+, Host: 200+.
  Gender: Unknown/Female
  Race/Species: Tok'Ra/Human.
  Qualifications For Position/Abilities: Advanced healing ability, (Can survive anything short of sustained armor-piercing fire, exsanguination, massive internal trauma, decapitation, etc.) Advanced strength, (They hit like a Mac Truck.)  Great endurance/speed, (They can and will run you down like the dog you are.) Their track record is apalling, with complaints of verbal abuse, actual abuse, excessive punishments, and drunkeness on duty, substance abuse, disrespecting a superior officer, and feeding superior officers to large, predatory fish.
  Personality/Psych Profile: Neither of the two are particularly pleasant. Nanda, is a bitch on wheels, with a nasty left hook that she isn't afraid to use. Oshimaeda is a self-absorbed jerk who refuses to treat anyone with civility, which sometimes leads to 'stop hitting yourself' moments.  Both of them are petty, spiteful, with horrid senses of humor and a penchant for drinking.

Medical Officer: Jason Bray (Inumo)

  Age/Life Expectancy: 25/The first shot fired nearby.
  Gender: Male
  Race/Species: Naiti (vampire bat anthros)
  Position Desired: Medical Officer. If unavailable, communications.
  Qualifications For Position/Abilities: No fear of blood, graduated med school with straight D-'s, able to cut a straight line.
  Personality/Psych Profile: A bit paranoid. Not enough to keep him from doing anything, but enough to keep him jumpy. Afraid of guns, but loves gun wounds. Has a habit of literally licking a patient's wounds. Total nerd; carries at least three different non-lethal medical tools, flash drives, and different-sized dice during all dressed hours. Hates clothing, but will wear them in public areas/medical bay.

Medical Officer: Dr. Ash Lee-Winston (That_Wolf)

  Age/Life Expectancy: 26/
  Gender: Male
  Race/Species: Anthro-Fox. 5'6
  Qualifications For Position: Has a surprisingly high IQ
Was admitted to USC. (Was suspended for 4 weeks for being suspect in a act of arson to the chemical lab 'They can prove NOTHING!' Ash shouted at his arrest. They couldn't.) Received his MD at Stanford, graduating 17th. Worked 2 months at Pacific hospitals, quiting because he decided "The work was boring." Has worked on 3 space voyages, with no known deaths. (However, 5 passengers disappeared.)
  Abilities: Is good at figuring out new medical treatments that he describes as 'Fun.' Loves to mess around with technology. Good with CPR. Competent with other methods of medicine, though tries to use his own ways first.
  Personality/Psych Profile: Ash is an eccentric guy, who likes to break the rules, take long showers, give massages, and sing a lot. Despite his eccentricity, Ash has moments of brilliance. Ash occasionally acts serious. This eather means something has gone very, very wrong, can go wrong, or just whenever he feels seriousness is is need. Ash loves trying new thing out, wether new experiences, or new medicaltreatments. He is very flirty with everyone, and Bisexual.

Counselor: Rock, aka The Rock (Shachaza)

  Age/Life Expectancy:  Really Freaking Old/Indefinite barring erosion or other geologic processes
  Gender: It's a freaking rock...
  Race/Species:  Taalo descendant?
  Position Desired:  Ship's Counselor
  Qualifications For Position/Abilities:  Very good at listening, very patient, and in a pinch, angry patients can throw it at something breakable (please avoid hurling toward sensitive areas of the craft) assuming that they can lift The Rock.  The Rock was also, by far, the cheapest option available to counsel those who needed someone to listen to them.
  Personality/Psych Profile:  The Rock is usually very patient, however if you displease it, you will know.  The Rock is also very mysterious. No two people see the same Rock. Also, nobody ever sees The Rock move, but there it is, and how it got over there from here is a mystery that the Alliance Scientists were studying intently before some poor lab tech got crushed to death one night. The cameras don't show The Rock moving, but it does show The Rock falling from a height that is beyond the camera's vision. What the tech did to upset The Rock is unknown to all but The Rock itself.
  Physical Description:The Rock takes up roughly a cubic foot of space and weighs about 250 pounds.  Its shape and coloration are different to each viewer. This is no ordinary Pet Rock, though it does tend to look happy; not many of its kind are "promoted" to such a cozy position so fast.

Science Officer: Open

Engineer: Chris Abe Lewl (AmberCross)

  Age: 42, which is to say 21 by Earth years and maturity level.
  Gender: Technically male
  Race/Species: Going to experiment a little here. If you've ever read Inhuman, I'm basing the species off of Koji. Six limbs, back two are for weight support, front two are for manipulation, and middle two are a cross between the others. Can walk on back four, back two, or all six. Fur adapted for a cold and windy climate, but unlike Koji my character's species tends to wear clothing because pockets are amazing. Fur is tinged that light blue color that snow gets when it's everywhere and also found in glaciers. Aside from that details are not terribly important I think.
  Qualifications For Position/Abilities: Very highly qualified, but has never really been responsible enough to keep a job for any real length of time at all. There's an inevitable chain of events whenever applying for a job. Employers are highly impressed with his qualifications, about a week passes, something blows up or he takes something apart for his own project, he gets fired. With a job on a spaceship he figures they can't fire him until at least the first destination. Also he won the Mad Scientist Award of the year a few times on his home planet.
  Personality/Psych Profile: As previously mentioned, he likes to experiment with things. When he's short on parts he'll sometimes take apart old projects or even things that don't really actually belong to him that he figures no one will miss. His ability to tell what's important is kind of a hit or miss though. He also likes mental challenges and is very curious. One of the best ways to stop him from taking something apart or accidentally blowing it up is to give him some sort of puzzle, even if he doesn't always pay attention to the rules.

Communications: GDMFB-9000, aka God-Damn-Messa-Fressa-Bot (Draken)

  Life Expectancy: 20/30 yrs
  Gender: Android, but technically Male
  Race/Species: Android, specially designed to look like a cobra-naga
  Qualifications For Position/Abilities: Eternally "extended hood" captures all forms of communication, via light, sublight, radio, soundwaves, whatever. Also has multiple connector ports in the "fingers", and various programs within his head processor to allow him to understand many many languages.
  Personality/Psych Profile: The problem is, he's close to expiration date, and a year out of date on programs due to being constantly "shuttled" about. Further, because he hears so much, he is constantly distracted by... Well... Everything.  Which, makes him aloof. Worse yet, his programs have melded, which means he tends to get things... Confused.

Navigator: Jacob Grayson (JamesCray)

  Age/Life Expectancy: 24 / Every day he makes it through surprises his former commanders.
  Gender: Male
  Race/Species: Flying Squirrel, anthropoid
  Qualifications For Position/Abilities: An IQ of 137, and a remarkable sense of spatial awareness. In short, he's a natural-born navigator.
  Personality/Psych Profile: The subject's natural talents and enthusiasm for space travel have proven problematic, in that he is unwilling to resign and simply too good to justify firing, despite the fact that the subject is otherwise entirely unsuited for service. Unfortunately, it was not until after he had signed on that his slow reflexes, poor motor skills, poor social skills, and difficulty with abstraction became apparent.

Stowaway: Dr. Dresdan McSplane, PhD, MD, DDS, SoB (Dekari)

  Age/Life Expectancy: Unknown/Ham Sandwich (inside joke to him)
  Gender: Male
  Race/Species: Unknown but looks human
  Qualifications For Position/Abilities: Because of where he normally lives, he has a habit of showing up where he probably shouldn't, though weather it's on accident of purpose is yet to be determined.
  Personality/Psych Profile: Take the mind and personality of the tenth doctor from Doctor Who and fuse it with someone who should be permanently restrained in a straight jacket. As for Dresdan, really not much can be said about him. If asked a question about himself he will usually distract the asker with a random answer that has nothing to do with the question asked. However the only thing he has ever said pertaining to himself is to describe the position that he is in at the end of the universe, "I am like an artist staring at a blank canvas but with not the paints needed to make my masterpiece.  It's maddening to know the kind of powers that I can behold but to not have the power with which to use them."

Positions That Could Still Be Claimed!

  Maintenance
  This Space For Rent
  A Good Suggestion or Two

[Draken]

Everyone looks so /awesome/.  This looks to be very very fun.  ^^


And, ouch.  By comparison, my thing looks so....tiny.   

[Inumo]

Buh budadaaaa!!! Let's go!

[That_wolf]

I seriously thought 'A rock' was a joke. ...How do you RP as a rock! I get it can b therapeutic to rant at a rock(today, me and Mr plastic bottle had a talk) but how do you RP as one? That. requires massive RP skill. I swear, though, if Rock moves around, always showing up in front of people, it'll be scary as hell.

[VAE]

I seriously thought 'A rock' was a joke. ...How do you RP as a rock! I get it can b therapeutic to rant at a rock(today, me and Mr plastic bottle had a talk) but how do you RP as one? That. requires massive RP skill. I swear, though, if Rock moves around, always showing up in front of people, it'll be scary as hell.

The rock will probably be a lot like the Weeping Angels from doctor who.

[That_wolf]

Pity I've never seen that, so I can't understand. I suck, I know.

[Inumo]

Pity I've never seen that, so I can't understand. I suck, I know.

Basically, so long as you're looking at them, they can't move. But if you even so much as blink, they can move in and send you back in time to kill you from aging, possibly even causing you to be your own grandparent. Pretty creepy, and those that have seen the episode ("Blink," if you want to look for it) tell me that seeing any of those statues ever again will scare you witless.

By the way, when will we start up?

[Drayco84]

First part of two-part post is up. Let my brain recharge a bit before trying to beat out the next portion.

[Shachza]

I seriously thought 'A rock' was a joke. ...How do you RP as a rock! I get it can b therapeutic to rant at a rock(today, me and Mr plastic bottle had a talk) but how do you RP as one? That. requires massive RP skill. I swear, though, if Rock moves around, always showing up in front of people, it'll be scary as hell.

Rock is based on my musings on how Boxy gets so much done while being...  a box.

[Inumo]

Nice title, Drayco. XD

[That_wolf]

I just noticed, Gender:Complicated.

[Draken]

Waaaaaaaait a minnit.

Something just occurred to me.

Is Mr. Rock therapist a....combination of a Companion Cube and the Weepers???

[hapless]

I swear, though, if Rock moves around, always showing up in front of people, it'll be scary as hell.

Now this reminded me of this flash game: http://redherringlabs.com/game-morningstar.html
Strongly recommended if you did not play it already.

*desperately tries to think of a character to submit...*

[That_wolf]

hap, Maaaake. A. Janitoooooor. We need it to clean up the blood gore and limbs the candy.

[Draken]

Make a Scruffy.

[That_wolf]

Make a Scruffy.

What's a scruffy?

[Azlan]

I have a Shadow for a first officer... that's better than a vulcan or an ex-soap opera actor!

[Drayco84]

Dang... Shachaza has just shown us how he's gonna RP a rock...

At the risk of a horribly lame pun, he's rockin'. My apologies to Azlan, but I knew I couldn't turn down that kind of character down...

I have a Shadow for a first officer... that's better than a vulcan or an ex-soap opera actor!

Until something horrible happens to you...

[Inumo]

Careful, my las-cutters might accidentally cause you to lose your guts if I hit you too low...

[Drayco84]

Inumo... Swahili? Seriously? I would've gone with Navajo, I mean, English.

[Inumo]

I think WWII was big enough for it to be remembered even at this point in time, at least for the codebreaker tactics. Swahili, on the other hand, is a language few people outside of Africa speak (that I know of); I doubt it'd be remembered into the space age. At least it's better than Swedish, which was my first pick.

[Drayco84]

Which is why I changed it to English for an even more blatant lie, and then I would've ran with it...

"English?"
"Yes."
"Even though we're speaking it right now?"
"Look, do you want the job or not?"
"Now I'm not too sure..."
"Look, it's either this or we use you to study the inside of a black hole."
"English it is, then."

[Inumo]

Well, I didn't know Snivers too well; I figured he'd not do that blatant of a lie.

[Draken]

Bwehehehe.  Just a taste of the communicative troubles ahead!

[Shachza]

At the risk of a horribly lame pun, he's rockin'. My apologies to Azlan, but I knew I couldn't turn down that kind of character down...

I'm actually very surprised that you didn't turn my character down outright, I was worried that it would be too out there even for this.  "A Rock" doesn't sound like much of a character.

I'm looking forward to this very much because the character is very out there, it's going to be a challenge.  I think I can do it though.

[Drayco84]

He's employed by the government, and works for a guy that refuses to turn on his freaking lights...

A valid point, though... Okay, from now on, whenever one doubts the intelligence of an NPC, err on the side of stupidity, ESPECIALLY if they're government agents. Unless someone is obviously an "Only Sane Man". THEN you can assume that they actually HAVE some intelligence.

I'm actually very surprised that you didn't turn my character down outright, I was worried that it would be too out there even for this.  "A Rock" doesn't sound like much of a character.

I'm looking forward to this very much because the character is very out there, it's going to be a challenge.  I think I can do it though.

I figured that even if all it did was sit there, it could still be interesting. Especially if something happened to the lights and nobody brought a flashlight...

That, and anybody planning to RP a rock has to be planning something... And as for "too far out there", you're all gonna be using Nerf for weapons, so yeah...

[Inumo]

"Greetings.  Estoy GDMFB-9000.  Tsūjō senrei GD.  Come posso servire?"

Hey Draken, if you were using Spanish for the second sentence, it should either be "Me llamo" or "Me nombre es;" "estoy" implies that he's temporarily afflicted (for lack of a better word) with GDMFB-9000. Also, what language was the third sentence in?

[Draken]

Will change.  And the third one is Japanese, last one is Italian.

If I need to, I will provide translations after the fact.

Roughly:

"Greetings.  My name is GDMFB-9000.  Usually christened GD.  How can I serve?"

[Inumo]

Really? The "tsujo senrei" is in Italian? Huh... I thought the one that looked a lot like Spanish (Como posso servire, which in Spanish would be como puedo servirte) was Italian.

[Draken]

My apologies, I miscounted the sentences.

I have decided on how to do my char's "Quirk", just to mess with the language further:

I will take what I need "translated" to Google Languages.  And use whatever they give me there.  Just to make things funny.  Bwahahahah!   If it's ok of course.