[Writing] - Real Friends

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I had this sinlge line pop into my head one morning whilst having a shower, and it demanded that I write a story around it. It's not something I'd usually write, but hey. For those of you who like this sort of thing, here's some of this sort of thing.


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Real Friends

Big John, weedy little Jim, and I have always been friends. We'd share beers, cover each other's backs, and lend each other a hand at the drop of a hat, so when Jim turned up and asked for help moving something too heavy for him to lift by himself, John and I simply asked "When and where?"

So, later that night, as we'd arranged, we met up at the bar. Jim directed us, and we drove the van off to his place. The weeds were about four feet high in the yard, and some of the windows had been broken, and not boarded up. I told him "You've really got to find a better place to live." John just grinned. Jim muttered something about smart-arses, and responded "That's what you guys are here for."

So, Jim said it was in the back room, so we went round the back, and I used the keys Jim had left me to open the door and go on in. We trudged down the hall, passing jokes back and forth, just like the old days; planning the beers for later. And there, in the back bedroom, on the bed, it was. John and I looked down, then at each other. "We should use the sheets to protect it from bumps and scratches." "Yeah. Let's do this."

Two or three minutes later, we'd wrapped the duvet around, and lifted one end each. Jim headed out the door, and we followed, in the usual fashion managing to catch the doorframe, almost dropping the whole bundle, and muttering about how heavy the damn thing was.

As we got to the door, I asked Jim, "Hey, Jim, what are you keeping in here? This thing weighs a damn ton." Big John, of course, immediately broke up laughing, and damn near dropped his end on the steps. We fumbled around for a few minutes, finally got back into a reasonable fascimile of a decent hold, and got as far as the back of the van before my grip started to slip again. We managed to get the door open, and lifted it in. Jim jumped in to keep an eye on it while John and I closed the doors, went around, and jumped in the front.

I put the keys in the ignition, cranked the starter, waited, thumped the gas, cranked it again, sighed, swore, and finally got the ancient gas guzzler to turn over. "So, where to, Maestro?"

Jim directed us through town, and up the hill where the toffs live. I asked if he was sure, and he was, so up we went. We pulled into the driveway of this rather imposing villa, then around the back to a pretty green field overlooking the town, neatly mown and all. We parked at the edge of the field, next to a neat hole, and clambered out, trying to remain quiet. After all, it was late, and we didn't want to disturb anyone.

I opened up the back, looked up at Jim, then over at John. "We should probably remove the blankets, right?" John nodded, and we got to work. Halfway through, I stopped. "Oh, dear." I sighed.

Jim turned to me and said "What?"

"Your face just came off in my hand."

"Ah. Try not to lose it. I'll want it back later."

I dropped his face onto his chest, grabbed his arms, and nodded at John, who grabbed the legs. We hefted him out, lowered him into the hole, and paused for a moment.

I looked down at him, sighed, and muttered "Sleep well, old friend." then grabbed the shovel and started shovelling the pile of dirt back into the grave.


Ten minutes later, back at the bar, I looked over my pint at Big John. "Thanks, John."

He shrugged. "Friends help you move."

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

*chuckles*

Well, when you refused to identify the object being picked up, my first guess was a dead body. I was *kind* of close. It almost reminds me of the opening scene of One and a half friends, if that reference means anything to anyone here.

[Drayco84]

Oh my word, that's creepy...

Good story though. Well written, and while I also suspected a dead body, I wasn't expecting that...

[Mao]

I wouldn't trust anyone other than my friends and family to ensure that my body was properly put to rest.  Though my choice is much easier:  Burn it and toss the ashes somewhere with trees.

I can see how some folks might see this as creepy, but I actually kinda find it heartwarming (well.. warmer than Weedy Jim's, come to think of it.. that name really applies if people don't tend to that spot).

[VAE]

That was awesome-  Reminded me of Roald Dahl.
Although Drayco84 says is true - i knew pretty much it was going to be a body when they were wrapping it up, but never that it is the owner who wants to move his weight around

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Yah. It's very very hard to set up things so that it's not apparently a body that you're shifting.

I kicked around a few ideas, but couldn't come up with anything that really worked. :-/

Glad you all liked it, though.

[Tapewolf]

Remembering 'Right said Fred', I was torn at first between whether it was a piano or a body...  But yes, nice story.

[GabrielsThoughts]

I don't know. I understood that Jim was a member of the living impaired, and I realize that he asked John and the box ghost to help him get new living arrangements, but It didn't seem creepy at all. I honestly think the events, location, and actions need more description, since I had to look up the word "duvet" I had initially thought it was a coffin of some sort. From my personal point of view it needs a little more elaboration  to become absolutely brilliant. The idea itself was in fact brilliant, but the story could use some polishing... Plus, imagining a oozing  box with slimy tentacles wriggling around helping anyone  to move anything, with only the prospect of a beer,  is waaaaaaaay more creepy than a corpse whose face fell off.

[Drayco84]

I can understand helping out a friend that's "moved on", but to see someone you know pass on is always a little unnerving. Well, at least to me, anyway. And the face is a vital part of recognizing people. To see/hear/read about it just "coming off" is downright creepy. Plus, there's a big distinction between "head" and "face", again, at least to me.

[Keleth]

Loved it box, It took that slight question I asked you to fully understand what was happening.

I expected it was them moving a body, but didn't realize it was his body until it was cleared up.


. . .

But I'm a little slow, so that's to be expected

[WhiteFox]

I found it extremely creepy, especially because everything was so... casual. Nondescript.  One particular line capped things brilliantly:

"Ah. Try not to lose it. I'll want it back later."

...

*Shivers.*

...since I had to look up the word "duvet" I had initially thought it was a coffin of some sort.

Somebody hasn't seen Fight Club.

[GabrielsThoughts]

that's right, because when someone watches a movie they always remember words they never heard before...
I have seen Fight Club twice on television. Not all the way through, but I know enough to remember Edward Nortan and Brad Pitt are Tyler Durdin a schizophrenic that decides he didn't like his life as a boring insurance investigator, who had an addiction to 12 step programs, and starts a fight club/ terrorist organization to blow up Credid Card companies. I also realize I'm violating the first rule of fight club by talking about fight club.

[Gabi]

*chuckles*

Well, when you refused to identify the object being picked up, my first guess was a dead body. I was *kind* of close.

Same here. I guess it's a common assumption. Then I was confused by the phrase "Your face just came off in my hand."

I like the casual tone of the story too.