Favorite Quotes Thread - Generation Two!

[Lysander]

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get, and it usually sucks."  --Anonymous.

[Angel]

"The kitten... was all the motivation I needed. I'm going to kill you."

And the follow-up...

"(punch) This is for Sand! (punch) This is for me! (lifts a heavy thing to throw) And THIS is for MUFFIN!"
-The Spirit

[Orion Asmodeus Dezagrats]

"Do that again and I'll feed your liver to the ravens." -Me, just after someone pulled my ponytail.

"Why do today what I could put off 'till tomorrow?" "What's today but yesterday's tomorrow?" -Exchange between Squidward and Mr. Krabs.

"All we are is dust in the wind, dude." -Ted Theodore Logan

[Lisky]

"nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, your village will burn like the heart of the sun... with infinite glee, it will be me, to slaughter your world" - Richard, from LFG

[techmaster-glitch]

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
-Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes

[Orion Asmodeus Dezagrats]

"I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!" --'Colonel Campbell', Metal Gear Solid 2

[Lisky]

"Soo, now that your done self-congratulating yourself, do you want a cookie, a medal or a small parade?" - me, after loosing a game of beer pong earlier

Edit: this morning i had a moment of brilliance that i found hilarious, and felt it worth sharing... my roommate asked what happened last night, this was my response

"well, lets see, you drunkenly took out a coffee table, you tried to hit on our neighbor while she was hitting on me, you blew chunks all over her floor then tried to blame duke for it... you lost your phone, then you passed out on your bed at like 3am by spreading your arms and shouting 'BED!!!'... oh and apparently at like 4am, while your wasted i bare a striking resemblance to someone named Gabi..."

[Lysander]

"You always wanted this knowledge...you can have it." --Rendall Crane, Stories of Vaa'saide

"Death is for amateurs." --Butcher, Butcher's Legacy

"Life is sacred, but sometimes desecration can become necessary.  They never saw the tears in my eyes at what I had done." --Jakob, The Chronicles of Jakob Pettersohn

"I shall wear your souls around my neck. I swore to make you suffer for this, and you WILL suffer!  For ever and ever!
Amen." --Jakob, The Chronicles of Jakob Pettersohn

[techmaster-glitch]

"We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?"
-Project PYRRHO, Specimen 46, Vat 7 (Subject termination advised), Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

[Tyranastrasz]

"This is not a retreat. We are simply initiating an offensive in the opposite direction." -General Edmund Duke

[Orion Asmodeus Dezagrats]

"We sit together,
the mountain and I,
until only the mountain remains."
--Li Po

"A handsome young Cyborg named Ace,
Wooed women at every base,
But once ladies glanced at
His special enhancement
They vanished with nary a trace."
--Barracks Graffiti
Sparta Command, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

[techmaster-glitch]

"This is not a retreat. We are simply initiating an offensive in the opposite direction." -General Edmund Duke

Whoa, is that quote from the game, or from a book? It's ringing a bell for me...

"A handsome young Cyborg named Ace,
Wooed women at every base,
But once ladies glanced at
His special enhancement
They vanished with nary a trace."
--Barracks Graffiti
Sparta Command, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

Darn you, I was gonna use that as my next quote!

[Arcblade]

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity...
(and it was all very much like now)

~A Tale of Two Cities

"Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony, and a plastic rocket..."
~Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly

"It's like God is playing darts with your life." ~friend

"Well, if I try to drink you printer in the morning, don't say I didn't warn you.."  ~friend

"Shh!  I'm asking God to smite you!"  ~friend

[techmaster-glitch]

"Solicitations malefactors! I am endeavouring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! WHO WILL JOIN ME!?" (gets promptly beaten up by barroom thugs he was attempting to enlist)
- Plankton, Spongebob Squarepants

[Tyranastrasz]

"This is not a retreat. We are simply initiating an offensive in the opposite direction." -General Edmund Duke

Whoa, is that quote from the game, or from a book? It's ringing a bell for me...

It is from one of the books contained within the Starcraft Archives, I believe. Second one, I think.

Anyway...

"Well, [anonymous friend] is stuck going to [that crappy high school noone else from our elementary school is going to next year], so let's say a few words for him now..." ~Friend 1

"...He's gay." ~Friends 1 and 2 simultaneously

[Lysander]

If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh. - Magus, Crono Trigger

In our world, every storm has an end. Every night brings a new day. What's important is to trust those you love, and never give up. We must never give up hope! - A priestess, Crono Trigger

Liar! I was a perfect lady last night! Uhhhh.... why does my tummy hurt? - Lucca, Crono Trigger

Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man? Or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi? Never assume what you see and feel is real! - Doreen, Crono Trigger

The black wind blows... One of you will shortly perish. - Janus, Crono Trigger

There's a letter. Shall we burn it? - Magus, Crono Trigger

Even a man made Legend is but a babe in the face of Time. - Aeon, Castlevania Judgment

No matter how powerful the magic you wield, you will never surpass time. - Aeon, Castlevenia Judgment

Even the Lord of Darkness cannot escape time. - Aeon, Castlevania Judgement

[Tyranastrasz]

"I was perfectly fine until the assassins stole my pants and tried to shoot me." -Chuck

[Stygian]

'God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.'

   - Terry Pratchett

[Jairus]

Thunder rolled...
It rolled a six.

"You know what I think?" said Vimes. "I think it went somewhere."
Thunder rolled again.
"All right, all right," muttered Vimes. "It was just a thought. It wasn't that dramatic."

Both from Terry Pratchet's Guards! Guards!

[Angel]

Rule #142 of the Evil Overlord List:

"If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. when the hero launches into an explanation of morality way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil Overlords, and it's important to spend quality time with the grandkids."

[Cogidubnus]

"Answer: Select grenades, sonic screamers, cluster rockets, and plasma charges. Mines are also effective, since many Jedi will run to meet you in hand to hand combat. Silly Jedi."

-HK-47, on how to kill Jedi

[Tyranastrasz]

"*glare*Can you feel the lasers burning into your skull?!"

-English Goddess Ms. Richards

[Lisky]

"in the event of a fire in the building, please run around in circles, trampling as many of your fellow classmates as possible while screaming 'oh my god, oh my god were all going to die' at the top of your lungs... and in the event of a tornado... well... i don't really know how well these seats are bolted down, but... if you've got some rope, that might help"

My econ prof's mandatory 'safety' lecture