Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Kipiru]

Granted. You can now taste the aromas in the air and that means all sorts of pollutions and airborn muck!

I wish I could read people's minds!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. They should be ashamed of themselves, and your cranial eyes bleed.


I wish I could get these logfiles filtered properly.

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. Unfortunately, it goes unrecognized, and soon you have the irresistible urge to light various things/people on fire.

I wish I had a time machine.

[Lysander]

Granted, but its only use is to go forward in time as going back would inevitably alter things in such a way that this thread was never made, thus making the with never come to be and the universe corroding as a result of the time distortion.

I wish for the topic summary. 

[Rakala]

Granted. It somehow manages to eat your face.

I wish I had a Neptunian Yellow Slug.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Being unsuited for Earth's gravity, temperature, or atmosphere, it dies.


I wish I could win a Nobel Prize in physics.

[Mao]

Granted.  As such you are encourage to study the other sciences much more closely.  During your studies in chemistry and biology you get into a horribly disfiguring accident that leaves you with an appearance similar to my current avi.

I wish I could give the whole world a smile.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You get arrested and sent to prison for life for possession of 8134518356183651835618365 tons of marijuana.


I wish my joints didn't crack every time I moved.

[Lysander]

Granted, they break instead.

I wish to corrupt this wish.   

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

It is corrupted.

I wish that for one day, everyone I met would speak in Elizabethan English.

[Rakala]

Granted. Very few people understand what they are saying themselves. Suicide rate goes up. There are too few people to make a new generation. The human race goes extinct you genocidal fart.

I wish I used less smilies.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Your prose becomes dull, flat, and boring. Eventually you are nominated for an academic writing award and people fall asleep at the mere sight of your work.



I wished I could get "One Winged Angel" out of my head.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You get Carl Orff's "O Fortuna" stuck in it instead.

I wish to be able to distinguish lies from truth.

[Rakala]

Granted. The supposed meaning of life is a lie. There is no point to life.

I wish I could've met Freddie Mercury before he died.

[Lysander]

Grantes, but the took you with him.

I with this wish didn't exist.   

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. You're not with it anymore.

I wish I had a great big pile of gold. Preferably not on top of me.

[Ren Gaulen]

Granted, there will be a dragon on top of that pile, and he won't be going to share..

I wish I could play guitar.

[Rakala]

Granted. You become moderately successful, enough to get by on it. Then thinking it will look cool you smash your guitar against the stage after a performance. Unfortunately you don't make enough income to replace it and you starve to death.

I wish I had an unscratched DVD version of Across the Universe.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. It's pirated so your DVD player / computer can't read it and you spend more money on getting a chip installed so you can read it than you would have if you bought it.

I wish kids would be quiet when told to be quiet.

[Kipiru]

Granted, they do become quiet, but also very depressed an in time turn homicidal! MUHAHAHA!

I wish I had a drawing of mine in the Louvre!

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

It's put up next to a sign which says "Everyone, point and laugh at this!"

I wish that election day would just come and go already so I don't have to be bombarded with political ads every 6 minutes.

[Kipiru]

Granted, but you miss it and wake up the next day with a communist leader!

I wish I could see magical creatures!

[Darkdragon]

Granted. But they don't want to see you.

I wish I can control magical creatures.

[Rakala]

Granted. You are dissected by government scientists to see what causes this control.

I wish I could participate in Ninja Warrior.

[Kipiru]

Granted, you get chopped up into cubes and toothpicks!

I wish I could cook Chinese food!

[Rakala]

Granted, but you're arrested for cannibalism.

I wish everything wrong with my body would suddenly just go away.

[Lysander]

Granted, but nothing right comes back.

I wish for an unrivaled level of awkwardness.   

[Kipiru]

granted, but they lock you in a deep cell in an asylum and throw away the key!

I wish I had perfect teeth!

[Mattie2008]

Ok, but you now have to wear braces for the rest of your miserable life. And you can't eat any form of food.

I wish I didn't have to wait for the cookies to be done.

[Kipiru]

Granted, you become allergic to cookies and you never have to wait for them any more.

I wish I could make my own MMORPG!