[Story] Walking down the Unseen Path [July 9]

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

"Well, you can't seriously expect them to completely redesign their classes to factor in the one guy who lacks an incredibly important sense, can you? They teach classes consisting of dozens of students; they won't suddenly stop using blackboards and written notes just because of him."

I can't help feeling as if there's an "overnight" missing from the first sentence, there. I thought about it while beta-ing, but forgot to mention it.

After all, even if they are willing to make the changes, it's not going to be done in less than a week. And is more than likely to involve some discussions with Kitzi himself about what he's capable of...

[Sid]

Chapter 14: Drunks, idiots... and drunk idiots

"And then I said 'Hey, Yas, your tail's on fire!' and hot dang, by then, it had already spread to her dress!" Iris giggled insanely and slapped Kitzi's back. "So yeah, you could say that my first week was pretty wild, too."

Kitzi cocked his head while Iris continued to lead him through the corridors. "Wasn't she mad at you for setting her tail on fire in the first place?"

"Oh, totally! She stopped, dropped and rolled... straight over my face. And when she realized that that had put out the flames - instead of, y'know, setting my face on fire - she got even madder. But all's well that ends well is what I keep saying. Right, Kit?"

"I guess... Still, I'm surprised that she didn't kill you in your sleep or anything." He paused briefly. "And please stop calling me that..."

"The trick is not to sleep. Or at least to only sleep when she has other priorities." Iris crossed her arms and nodded sagely. "You know, like when she has lectures to attend... or when I hide all of her plushies. Can't kill me while I'm holding hostages!"

The Incubus frowned deeply. "Tell me again why anybody trusted you to look over me..."

"You insult me!" Iris gasped loudly to make up for the fact that he wasn't able to see her carefully practiced expression of shock. "I'm a very trustworthy Succubus! In fact, Fa'Lina herself arranged for this to happen. Here, see?" She held up her amulet. Before Kitzi could even note that he couldn't see anything by default, she held his muzzle shut. "It's an amulet Fa'Lina wanted me to have as a reward for keeping an eye on you."

"Fa'Lina gave it to you?"

"Yes!" Iris hesitated. "Well... no. But Yas gave it to me and she said that it's from her!"

"She did?" Kitzi was looking quite amused by now for some reason.

"She totally did!"

"You mean the girl whose tail you set on fire, who hates your guts and has absolutely no motivation to be honest with you?"

She tried to fight down the sudden feeling of despair, but she might as well have tried to stop a house of cards from collapsing during an earthquake. "Yes... b-but I trust her! I mean... she's trustworthy! You know, she wouldn't..."

His slight grin faded when he heard her voice trailing off as a large section of her universe was about to collapse. "Hey, I was just kidding there! I didn't mean to-" Kitzi placed a hand on her shoulder, but it was quickly batted away.

"Shut up." No. Just... no. She hates me, but not like this... I think...

A sigh. "Relax. It smells like her."

"It... does?" Her white tail with the black tip twitched. She gave the amulet a sniff. "I can't smell anything..."

"Trust me, I've got a good nose."

"You may have your magically-enhanced sense, but you might as well be a filthy liar." Iris shoved the amulet in his face. "What do you smell?"

"Mrmph." He took a step back and slipped his cane into a pocket with practiced ease. "Pretty much anything you touched in the past few hours. Yegh, don't you ever wash your hands?" He sneezed and finally held out his hands. When Iris gave him the amulet, he carefully held it closer to his nose. "Yes... Fa'Lina's smell... and..." He frowned lightly. "And muffins? Why does this thing smell like muffOOF!"

"YES, YES, YES!" Iris cheered even as she pounced Kitzi, causing both of them to crash onto the floor. "That's her! She loves muffins! Bakes them every now and then and they're delicious even though I never actually had one but how can't they be? I mean, she has muffins with peanut butter and chocolate chips and all those other totally awesome flavors, and I'd totally sell some of my organs to be able to taste one! Just, y'know, not the vital ones since it'd be stupid to die while-"

"Get OFF!" Kitzi protested and tried to shove her away from him. "What's wrong with you? Don't you have some sort of emotional middle ground? How is it even possible to go from a mild depression to complete ecstasy in less than a second?"

"Oh, don't worry, you'll get used to it." Iris giggled quietly, making absolutely no effort to actually move off of him. "It's a Cubi thing, actually. Comes from taking in so many emotions. Makes us prone to moodiness and stuff. Heck, you thought your own mood swings were just you being special? Pah!"

"Dante didn't have such insane mood swings..." The fox had finally managed to roll her out of the way and was now getting up again.

"Yeah, well, it's not the same for everybody. I mean, not everybody has it to the same degree. The potential is there, though. But that's more of an aside. What's more important: Aren't you going to help a lady up?" She held out her hand.

"I would, but I don't see one." Kitzi gave her a smirk, making Iris laugh.

"I'd totally kick your tail across the Academy for that snark, but you're lucky that we're here."

"We're where?"

"Use your nose and tell me, Kit."

Kitzi sighed and shook his head. Then raised his head and sniffed carefully. "I smell... clothes. Many clothes..."

"Got it in one!" Iris cheered and shoved Kitzi into the Changing Room they had been standing in front of. Kitzi yelped, stumbled, waved his arms and - Iris flinched - crashed head-first into a large clothes rack.

"Ah, I gather we arrived at the Changing Room you threatened to drag me to," a highly disgruntled voice came out of the pile of clothes.

"Found anything you like yet?" Iris asked, grinning nervously.

"Actually, yes! It's... ah, no, wait, that's just MY SPINE."

The vixen smirked and started to dig Kitzi out. "Don't be such a wuss, Kit, or I'm going to make you try on every design in here just to drive you insane."

"How many designs are there?" he asked as he got to his feet again.

"Listen closely!" Iris waited a moment for Kitzi to focus on his sense of hearing and then clapped her hands.

Kitzi's jaw dropped as he listened to the faint echo. "How large is this room? It sounds as if-"

"I once spent a full week in here, and I only got through one of the five sections. Yes, it really is that large. And yes, I will make you try on everything if you keep whining." She watched his tail droop. "But if you're a good boy, we'll be done here quickly. Just let me choose a few designs for you to try on!"

Kitzi managed not to complain for two hours and about a dozen changes, but in the end, his impatience was stronger than his fear. "What exactly did you mean with 'a few designs' again?"

Iris frowned and placed five more outfits onto a chair. She hadn't expected him to dislike so many materials, most of them on the basis of being too rough or too itchy. Did he try to super-charge his sense of touch to see if it's compatible with the materials? If so, then he's smart, but it doesn't exactly make my job easier! "It would've been just a few if you weren't so picky. But I found some stuff you might like that doesn't look like junk, so go ahead, try them on!" The question of the color selection had been another unexpected problem. Kitzi's combination of almost-black and dark green normally should have looked great with a large variety of colors, but somehow, few actually looked good on him. Iris briefly suspected that she had simply been too picky, but she had also learned to trust her instincts when it came to fashion. And if something tells me "No way," then I'm going to listen.

"Fine, just hand me the next one." He held out his hand from behind the changing screen.

"This one's a complete set, so you'll have to lose your pants, too." In the end, she had decided to try a few more conservative choices, moving away from the flashy and more revealing designs and towards the more formal attire. And he's not exactly as easy-going as most other Cubi, so it sorta fits.

"Okay, this is easily the most complex thing you made me try on," Kitzi remarked as he stepped out into the open again after a few minutes. "But I think I like it!"

Iris cocked her head. It surely was an odd design for a Cubi to wear. The main piece was an ankle-length, long-sleeved robe that was buttoned up to the neck. The pants were completely hidden under it, but Iris assumed that they were there. And to top it off, there were a wide belt and a cape that only went down to cover his shoulders, chest and upper arms. However, the material all items were made out of was smooth to the touch and yet as thick and robust as his previous robe. And the dark blue color was as close to black as possible and looked quite natural on Kitzi's practically black fur. The only color that stood out was the dark red trimming that outlined the entire design. Kinda clashes with his green highlights, but in an interesting way... She frowned lightly. Even though I think I've seen that design before... oh well, I bet it's not important. "It certainly looks good on you! If you want it, we can order a few spare sets to be delivered to your room... I think there were fitting shoes over there, too."

Once she found shoes in Kitzi's size and ordered the delivery of the other robes, Iris dragged Kitzi out of the Changing Room again. As they walked through the corridors, the vixen noticed a few raised eyebrows as they passed other Cubi, but she decided not to worry about them. Probably just surprised by the fancy design. "So, Kit, what should we do now?"

Kitzi crossed his arms and leaned against a wall, apparently deep in thought. "I think you can just bring me back to my room, and then... I dunno, you can go to your party or something. I'll get along, I think."

Iris started to shake her head, but then stopped and grinned. "You're right, the party has already started!" She watched him nod. "And everybody will have lots of fun!" Another nod. "And it would be a pity to miss it!" Yet another nod. "So it's settled then! We're going to the party!"

Kitzi started to nod again, but then froze. "Wait, what do you mean with- Hey! Watch it! The robe's new and I dunno how well it'll hold!" Iris ignored his protests as she dragged him down the corridor by his shoulder cape.

"You deserve to have some fun, too." She pulled him into the SAIA Staircase and scanned the floor numbers.

"I don't know anybody there!"

"All the more reason to get out and meet people," Iris retorted and dragged him towards an exit that had materialized a few steps away, going just slow enough that he wouldn't stumble too much.

"They'll hate me!"

"They'll only hate only if you keep whining like that, Kit. Now shut up and look pretty; we're almost there."

"Don't call me that, please," he whined quietly, but Iris was pleased to note that he wasn't complaining about the party anymore.

This is gonna be great! A wild party is just what I need after a long day of selecting clothes and stuff. And Kit's gonna love it, too... I guess. She gave Kitzi a look just as they arrived at the door to the Seduction classroom. The idea of anybody not enjoying a party seemed completely alien to her, but if she had learned anything from Yasma, it was that such people existed. But nah, he's cool. He'll have fun! I mean... he better have... otherwise, Yas is gonna strangle me for real... She took a deep breath. Okay, relax. Smooth sailing. Just make sure to tell a few key people that Kit's off-limits for practical jokes, and you're clear. "You ready?" she asked the fox and put one hand on the handle.

"I guess... yeah..."

"Hey, guys!" Iris cheered even as she opened the door. "Look who's here!"

Iris's welcoming lasted several minutes. After going through the various greeting rituals - some of which required shape-changing and confetti - the vixen was giggling and already holding a glass filled with a bubbling pink liquid. "Hey there!" somebody behind her said and lightly pinched her butt. "Hoped you'd come by!"

She turned around - and her grin froze. "Ah, hey... uh..." The Beagle. The one with the bunny tentacle heads. The one who had scolded her about forgetting his name just a few hours ago.

He groaned. "Seriously, what's wrong with you? The name is-"

"-Mortimer!" Kitzi stumbled into the Beagle and chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry to drop in like that! My, quite the welcoming committee you guys got here!"

Mortimer - Iris briefly wondered how Kitzi had both recognized the Beagle so easily in a crowd and remembered his name - gave Kitzi a look and raised an eyebrow. "Well, look who we got here..."

"This is Kitzi. You know, the guy we met earlier and-" Iris explained and gestured vaguely at the fox.

"Yes, yes, I remember... Good to see he got out of the hospital rag; did you pick the outfit, Iris?"

Iris beamed and let her tail wag freely. "I did! Nice, huh?"

"Quite so!" Mortimer gave her a wide smile, and Iris briefly thought that it was wider than it should have been.

"I, uh- I hope it's okay for me to join the party?" Kitzi suddenly asked, looking lightly concerned. "I know I'm not invited, and I didn't exactly make the best first impression, but-"

"No, no, it's cool! Just relax, man!" Again, Mortimer gave Iris a smile bordering on a grin. "But you didn't get anything to drink! Can't let that happen, can I? What sort of host am I?"

Iris quickly raised her hand to get the Beagle's attention. "Maybe start him off with something non-alcoholic?"

"Of course, of course!" Mortimer assured her with surprising eagerness. "We wouldn't want to get Kitzi horribly drunk, would we?"

As soon as the canine had left, Kitzi gave Iris a frown. "He's totally going to get me the strongest stuff he's got, right?"

"I hope not... but you better put your magical nose to good use, just in case." Iris of course had no doubt that Kitzi was correct, but she had some faith in the fox's enhanced senses. Besides, this might be a good way of making Mortimer look silly. Let Kitzi experience some genuine success when he identifies the booze!

Mortimer returned a minute later, holding a glass filled with an orange liquid. "Here you go!" He carefully placed the glass in Kitzi's hand, and Iris held her breath.

"Thanks!" Kitzi held the glass close to his muzzle and sniffed briefly. "Orange juice?" He blinked and smiled. Then he took a small sip. "Mhhhhh! Nice!"

Iris raised an eyebrow when the fox he emptied the glass. That actually was orange juice? Looks like I didn't give Mortimer enough credit. She gave the grinning Beagle a look. There was something she was missing, she was sure of it. The question is what I'm missing. I better keep an eye on him if I want to keep Kitzi out of trouble. Yeesh, I wanted to relax here!

But, much to her amazement, the next hour went by without much incident. Mortimer, Iris and Kitzi had sat down at one of the tables in a calmer corner of the room and talked. Or rather, they had let Kitzi do the talking while Mortimer occasionally headed to the bar to get more drinks. The fox seemed to relax slightly while talking about his cozy little village, cracking jokes - some of them surprisingly dirty - and delving deeper and deeper into what he really thought about most people there. Through all of it, Iris kept an eye on Kitzi and his drinks. They all looked non-alcoholic - and Kitzi's scent and smell tests seemed to verify this - but Iris noted that it was odd how a guarded guy like him would suddenly loosen up this much. He reminds me a lot of someone who is drunk, but he didn't have anything alcoholic. But maybe this is the real Kitzi, and the paranoid, shivering mess I had to babysit was in fact the weird behavior... not that I'd complain...

In the end, Iris volunteered to get Kitzi a new glass of juice, mostly to get out of her chair for a change. She stretched idly, noted his order of banana-and-cherry juice and headed to the table with the drinks. "Alrighty... juice... juice..." She frowned lightly and cocked her head. "Juice...?"

"Allow me," Mortimer suddenly said, appearing next to her.

"I said I'd get his drink," Iris protested and gave him a look.

Mortimer's eyes met hers. "I figured you wanted to talk. After all, we both know you suck at this."

"I suck at what?" she asked, but then looked down at his hands.

Mortimer had prepared a drink. A fairly strong one. "Think it needs more Dragon's Blood?" he asked and held up a bottle labeled with various warning stickers. "Figure we might upgrade him to the stronger stuff..."

"What are you doing?" Iris finally asked him, gesturing at the glass. The feeling that she was missing something had returned, and she knew she was this close to figuring it out. Then, as if to answer her question, Mortimer whispered a few words and waved his hand over the glass. The content immediately changed into a glass of what looked like banana-and-cherry juice, and Iris was willing to bet that the content also smelled and tasted like Kitzi's order. Her jaw dropped. Illusion magic. Oh dear God. "There had never been any juice, right?" she whispered. "You just slowly got him drunk."

The Beagle blinked. "...of course. Wasn't that plan?"

"...plan? What plan? What the Hell are you talking about?" Iris knew that she was in trouble now. Explaining to Dante and Yasma how Kitzi had ended up with a hangover would end with pain. Lots and lots of pain.

Mortimer was frowning now. "Okay, lemme get this straight. We mocked this guy just a few hours ago. And now you drag him in here, dressed like this, and you're trying to tell me you didn't plan anything?"

"What's his outfit got to do with this? I mean, sure, it's more formal than-"

"It's a priests' robe, Iris," the Beagle replied flatly.

She froze. "...it is?"

"...you didn't know?" He gave her a look, then started to snicker. "Oh my God, you dressed him up like a fricken priest by accident?"

"And you got him drunk!" Iris whined loudly, trying to focus on the issue at hand again, if just to move the spotlight away from her own failure. "I need to get him back to his room in a few hours, and my roommate is gonna kill me if she realizes I got him in trouble like that!" She ignored Mortimer's snickering and headed back to the table. "Kit, we need to get you- Kit?"

The table was empty.

"...I'm dead," Iris whispered. She wasn't used to feelings of dread and panic. In her view, those were things that only happened to people like Yas. But now, she had been given responsibility for a change, and she had to admit that she had screwed up. "Okay, calm down, Iris. He's got to be around here. Maybe he left and is now sleeping it off. Maybe he's trying to seduce a chair. Maybe..." She turned around and blinked. "...maybe he's dancing with three Succubi and having the time of his life?"

"He seems to be quite a hit with the ladies," Mortimer commented and chuckled as he joined Iris by their table.

"Shut up!" Iris hissed. "This is all your fault!"

"What's the problem? He's enjoying himself!"

"He's drunk! He'll have a hangover! He'll-"

"Iiiiiiiiris!" Kitzi was suddenly standing next to her and put a hand onto her shoulder. "C'mon, you gotta stop hanging out with puddy-cheeks here and dance!"

For the first time this evening, Mortimer looked less than pleased. "Puddy-cheeks?" he whined. "Why'd you call me that?"

"Iz what Cassie and Bethie call ya," Kitzi replied, and pointed at the dancing area. Iris noticed that his speech was already slightly slurred and asked herself how she possibly could've missed it so far.

"Okay, seriously, that is so not true." The Beagle crossed his arms. "You really should stop listening to such silly rumors and-... why are you giggling?"

"You hear anything?" Kitzi asked Iris between his giggles. "I just keep hearing 'Arf arf arf' all the time!" Iris couldn't help but snicker, too. There was something cute about Kitzi in his drunk, carefree state. "Arf arf arf arf-" Kitzi mocked dog barks even as his hand slipped off her shoulder. The Incubus, still giggling, lost his balance and hit the floor with an audible thud.

"Kit!" Iris yelped and tried to help him up again. "You okay? Say something!"

"Arf arf arf..." Kitzi started snickering again.

"Yeah, I guess he's either okay or completely brain-damaged," Mortimer concluded and rolled his eyes. "C'mon, let's get him out of here."

"Are you mad?" Iris flashed him a mad grin. "You heard the guy! We're going to dance now!"

"Oh, I get it. You're all worried, but the minute he starts taunting me, he's your best buddy again?"

The Beagle looked insulted, but in a way that indicated that he was mostly kidding. Nothing some make-up sex can't fix. She gave Kitzi a look. "You hear anything, Kit?"

"I just hear 'Arf arf arf'," Kitzi replied with a grin.

"Me, too. C'mon, let's dance!" So what if Yasma rips off my tail tomorrow morning? Tonight, we're going to have FUN!

---

Author's Notes:
- The chapter title comes from Tony Hawk's Underground 2, where it is used to introduce the Mardi Gras stage. Fun times.
- This is the end of Iris's mini-arc that was originally supposed to be just one chapter. No, don't ask me what made me think that I'd manage to squeeze all of this into so little space. *shrugs helplessly*
- I missed my bus because I wanted to post this chapter before leaving. Argh.

[Tapewolf]

Now I'm curious.  What kind of priest is it?  Were you planning to do an expose on that religion?

Also, the way they deal with Kitzi somehow reminds me of Neuromancer.  Is that just a coincidence?

[Sid]

Now I'm curious.  What kind of priest is it?  Were you planning to do an expose on that religion?

I'm pretty sure the priest stuff will come up again. After all, it's such a convenient chance to take a brief look at the state of religion and belief systems of Beings and Creatures thousands of years before canon

Also, the way they deal with Kitzi somehow reminds me of Neuromancer.  Is that just a coincidence?

Oof, I've read the book about a decade ago, but I'm honestly not sure which elements you're comparing right now. Care to elaborate? For the moment, I'll say that it's likely coincidence; although I'm often inspired by other novels and stuff, of course, so I won't rule it out without knowing what you had in mind.

[Tapewolf]

I'm pretty sure the priest stuff will come up again. After all, it's such a convenient chance to take a brief look at the state of religion and belief systems of Beings and Creatures thousands of years before canon

And about 6000 years before Jesus...

Oof, I've read the book about a decade ago, but I'm honestly not sure which elements you're comparing right now. Care to elaborate? For the moment, I'll say that it's likely coincidence; although I'm often inspired by other novels and stuff, of course, so I won't rule it out without knowing what you had in mind.

'Case?' Molly sat up in bed and shook the hair away from her lenses.
'Who else, honey?'
'What's got into you?' the mirrors followed him across the room.
'I forget how to pronounce it,' he said, taking a tightly-rolled strip of bubble-packed blue derms from his shirt pocket.
'Christ,' she said, 'Just what we needed.'
'Truer words were never spoken.'
'I let you out of my sight for two hours and you score.'  She shook her head.  'I hope you're gonna be ready for our big dinner date with Armitage tonight.  This Twentieth Century place.  We get to watch Riveria strut his stuff, too.'
'Yeah,' Case said, arching his back, his smile locked into a rictus of delight, 'beautiful.'
'Man,' she said, 'if whatever that is can get through what those surgeons did to you in Chiba, you are gonna be in sadass shape when it wears off.'

[Sid]

I'm pretty sure the priest stuff will come up again. After all, it's such a convenient chance to take a brief look at the state of religion and belief systems of Beings and Creatures thousands of years before canon

And about 6000 years before Jesus...

Is that confirmed? O.o I didn't quite follow Amber's comments about religion...

'Case?' Molly sat up in bed and shook the hair away from her lenses.
'Who else, honey?'
'What's got into you?' the mirrors followed him across the room.
'I forget how to pronounce it,' he said, taking a tightly-rolled strip of bubble-packed blue derms from his shirt pocket.
'Christ,' she said, 'Just what we needed.'
'Truer words were never spoken.'
'I let you out of my sight for two hours and you score.'  She shook her head.  'I hope you're gonna be ready for our big dinner date with Armitage tonight.  This Twentieth Century place.  We get to watch Riveria strut his stuff, too.'
'Yeah,' Case said, arching his back, his smile locked into a rictus of delight, 'beautiful.'
'Man,' she said, 'if whatever that is can get through what those surgeons did to you in Chiba, you are gonna be in sadass shape when it wears off.'

...*blinks* I... would say that any connection you see between that and my chapter is pure coincidence... O.o;

[Tapewolf]

And about 6000 years before Jesus...

Is that confirmed? O.o I didn't quite follow Amber's comments about religion...

No, it's simply based on the assumption that today in DMFA is roughly concurrent with today in RL, and that your story is set about 7000 years ago so it would actually be more like 5000 years because I fluffed the arithmetic.

...*blinks* I... would say that any connection you see between that and my chapter is pure coincidence... O.o;

Probably.  Nonetheless, when they got Kitzi drunk it was the first thing that I thought of...

[Sid]

And about 6000 years before Jesus...

Is that confirmed? O.o I didn't quite follow Amber's comments about religion...

No, it's simply based on the assumption that today in DMFA is roughly concurrent with today in RL, and that your story is set about 7000 years ago so it would actually be more like 5000 years because I fluffed the arithmetic.

Ohhhhhhh, I see. Well, if you're going by what the Bible says and apply it to this timescale, certain groups of biblical literalists would conclude that this fic takes place 1000 years before Furrae's creation. I think I'll either leave Jesus out of the equation or re-date him a bit so that he's already history back then. Changing the date would make some sense because otherwise, several Creatures in the canon setting would have been alive during Jesus' time, which might result in quite interesting debates about religion.