The DMFA Radio Project

[rabid_fox]

http://rapidshare.com/files/30201719/devinreread.wav.html

The sarcasm to joy and the "consoling Abel" lines hopefully fixed up to be more acceptably Devin'ish.

I wish Devin had more lines now. I'm enjoying myself way too much.

[Fuyudenki]

That sounds good.  I really like how you fixed up the "talking to Abel behind the wagon" bit.  Sounds much better now.

Listening to your clip and mine side-by-side, this is why you're the one with the voice, and I...  well, I do my own thing.

[rabid_fox]

1. Cheers. 2. Heh, yah, but your thing might just last more than "Oh, look, childhood friend oh frig ice spear, nuts."

Maybe i might have a roll through the main comic...any characters notably lacking in readers there I might fulfill?

[superluser]

The "Gosh and golly Abel" bit - what am I aiming for there? I'm not sure what's been suggested, cause RP and me just don't mix, heh.

If that doesn't work, I'd suggest looking into some of the flat accents that John Cleese does.  I'm thinking of Cleese's accent during the Cheese Shop sketch (not the ``You like a nice dance, you're forced to'' one, the ``esurient'' one--especially in the Final Rip-Off version), or the American Cowboy accent that he does.

But I see you've redone the take, and I like it.  I like just about everything about it.  If you want, I can tell you everything that I think you can improve on, but that list is going to be long and boring, and it's going to give the incorrect impression that I don't like your version.

But I do want to comment on one thing:

The mouse clicks.  They're too loud, and one (OSHI--getdowngetdowngetdown, maybe even ICE) is actually too close to the dialogue to remove effectively.

I'd recommend either getting llearch's transcription or transcribing the dialogue yourself.  Or you can give a second or two pause after you completely stop before you switch strips.  Or you could get the images and use a different image viewer.  I use GQview (which may not be available for Windows), which lets you use the scroll wheel instead of the mouse buttons.

And two for the editor (that's you, TW):

1.) If we go with Rabid's version (and I think we should) and a Scottish version of Xander, this effectively turns the characters into comic relief.  This isn't necessarily bad, but it provides a radically different tone for the characters (I'm calling to mind Michael Keaton's Dogberry).  You're going to have to edit it differently.  Just something to start thinking about.

2.) How are you going to do Devin's final thoughts?  One thought that I had was that it might be interesting to try something like Different Trains, where the words just sort of float through the audio track.

[rabid_fox]

Well, when I give in more full readings, I'm not going to be mouse-clicking at all, I'll have all the dialogue in front of me with reminders of expression, which way he's looking and all that funky jazz. What I'm putting up now - just samplers to get feedback on how I'm reading the lines and if it's a horrible clash with expectations or not, heh.

The final thoughts, I think, should be one step above a whisper, except the "can't breathe" lines which'll sound slightly panicked. I don't know if you're familiar with the song "The Dying Soldier", but that's what I'm using as a template for them. If you're not, check it out, beautiful song, in an upsetting sort of way.

But yeah, all feedback is good feedback, I've never actually DONE anything like this before, so it's all new to me - you guys seem to be a lot more on top of it than I am and I'm willing to learn from you (plural) - I've picked up a lot already!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I'm calling to mind Michael Keaton's Dogberry

.. And let it be known that -I- am an ass!

[Tapewolf]

1.) If we go with Rabid's version (and I think we should) and a Scottish version of Xander, this effectively turns the characters into comic relief.  This isn't necessarily bad, but it provides a radically different tone for the characters (I'm calling to mind Michael Keaton's Dogberry).  You're going to have to edit it differently.  Just something to start thinking about.

Here's the rough edit promised yesterday.  There's a number of things to tidy up, and I'd forgotten that Oleg had improvised quite a lot, but it should give us some idea of whether this is what we're aiming for.  I've got the beginnings of a score, but I haven't tried to integrate it yet.

http://dmfa.it-he.org/dmfa/abel41.wav.mp3  - WARNING: contains the F-word

How are you going to do Devin's final thoughts?  One thought that I had was that it might be interesting to try something like Different Trains, where the words just sort of float through the audio track.

I can't decode that, so I'm not sure what it does.  I'll see if I can get it to go at work during lunch.
With Dan's death sequence I used tape echo and panned the echos around in a circle on the mixer (the version used in the final cut of the radio project was actually dubbed across from the multitrack of the album version).  To be honest I haven't decided yet, but slowly increasing the reverb while fading out the dry signal is another possible approach.

[rabid_fox]

Hah! It actually comes together quite well when you hear it like that. Thoug Zander's a bit...hrrrnnn...TOO Scottish, if you know what I mean? It'd be like me giving Devin "Top a' te mordin t'ye!" inflection. The Scottish Xander works, definitely, but maybe not THAT Scottish.

I see what you mean about the recording quality in mine when I hear it like that, mind you. There's a greasy little sound in the back that I don't like one bit.

Still, that's fantastic to hear it all put in as one like that. Nice one!

[rabid_fox]

Second listen thoughts. Socttish Xander definitely works, but it gets more hammed up as it goes along, it starts fine, I think. Probably is that if one of them sounds a bit hammed, then the other sounds hammed too, and it does become a lot of comedy relief. Which, granted, Xander and Devin are, but the serious bits that come later'll get detracted from.

By the way, if you're actually Scottish and I'm being horribly insulting here, sorry!

[superluser]

The final thoughts, I think, should be one step above a whisper, except the "can't breathe" lines which'll sound slightly panicked. I don't know if you're familiar with the song "The Dying Soldier", but that's what I'm using as a template for them. If you're not, check it out, beautiful song, in an upsetting sort of way.

I'd be an advocate for doing that in editing, rather than acting.  That's mainly because I like the concept of Devin's voice as he's thinking being clear and loud because it's unfettered by meat, but the voice getting filtered as it's leaving his body and getting picked up by Abel.

I'll have to check out the Dying Soldier song.  I might need an artist to find it.

As to long-winded, specific advice...

``...I think I snorted a feather...'' reads to me like he was actually saying something between 58 and 59, so you might want to try to make it sound like there might have been something else that we cut off.

Great reading on ``if they spot you, they'll blast you, wings or not.''   

It's a good reading on ``This isn't the time to cry'' & seq., but you might try a reading where Devin says that completely emotionlessly, like the Litany Against Fear.  It may be wrong, but I think you should give it a shot.

``Thirty seconds.'' needs to be said very matter-of-factly, or whimperingly.  Absolutely no question mark on the end.  I'm reminded of the bit in the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy where they hold a seance--perhaps not as much whispering, but certainly the same matter-of-fact delivery.

I'd suggest watching some ER, but that might be too emotionally detached.

On ``The hell are these?'', I think it's less of Devin trying to figure out what they are, and more that he wants Abel to tell him.

Imagine that you're a restaurant critic and you go out to a fancy restaurant, and the waiter sets out a place setting with fifteen forks and twelve spoons, and sets something on your plate that look almost, but not quite entirely unlike a lobster cracker.  And you're having the chicken.  Obviously, he gave it to you for a reason.  You look up at him and say, ``The hell are these?''  Not quite like the father who comes home and asks his son what his box of drugs is, though.

On ``Woa--sh*t! They're attached!'' he sounds like he's stifling a laugh, which is (in my opinion) wrong.  He should be pulling away, most likely from fright, but possibly from disgust.  Again, imagine.  You're 8 years old again, and you're hunting for nightcrawlers.  You find a nice, large rock with a big worm sticking out, and you grab it and start to pull.  A few seconds later, you realize that it's a feeler for some hideous elephant beetle sort of thing.  You pull back and shout, ``Woa--sh*t! They're attached!''  That's the disgust one.  For fright, imagine that it's a snapping turtle's tongue.

You're doing a great job, and I hope what I've said encourages you to continue, but those things should really be improved, in my opinion.  All of this is, of course, my opinion, and should be discounted if you have good reasons to.  Or bad reasons.  If you've decided that you don't like advice given on a Wednesday, that's a good enough reason.

[Tapewolf]

Hah! It actually comes together quite well when you hear it like that. Though Xander's a bit...hrrrnnn...TOO Scottish, if you know what I mean?

Yeah, well Marakov hasn't logged in since Christmas, so we might have to find another Xander anyway

I see what you mean about the recording quality in mine when I hear it like that, mind you. There's a greasy little sound in the back that I don't like one bit.

To be honest I haven't even tried to do any noise reduction on yours because you were going to redo them when you can get a higher-end mic.  That's one of the things which could do with being tidied up.

[rabid_fox]

Good grief, it is Wednesday. No, those are all useful hints. I'm going to ask around about the quality microphone tomorrow, with luck, and then I can get down to recording it with better quality and, when I'm at that, I can think more about starters, stops and the hints youv'e given me there. I'll defenitely give them a shot, at least, see how it sounds, see if I can carry it off. Ain't often you get that level of feedback in depth, and I dig that. Cheers, man!

[rabid_fox]

Hah! It actually comes together quite well when you hear it like that. Though Xander's a bit...hrrrnnn...TOO Scottish, if you know what I mean?

Yeah, well Marakov hasn't logged in since Christmas, so we might have to find another Xander anyway

Well, darn. I suppose that's the hassle with something like that. Internet's a fickle thing, ain't it? Yeah, like I say, going to hassle the music department this week and really try to drill out a quality recording this weekend, maybe sooner.

The Ladies for Compassionate Lynching approve of that mix, though. It's very interesting to hear the different people coming together.

[superluser]

.. And let it be known that -I- am an ass!

You get a cookie.

With Dan's death sequence I used tape echo and panned the echos around in a circle on the mixer (the version used in the final cut of the radio project was actually dubbed across from the multitrack of the album version).

That works for Dan's death because we're actually in Dan's head.  IMHO, Devin's death should be slightly different because we're outside, listening to what's coming out.

By the way, if you're actually Scottish and I'm being horribly insulting here, sorry!

I recall that someone was visiting England and was debating whether to try to imitate a British accent, since he picks up accents like nothing anyways.  I pointed him to the bit in Snatch where Turkish effects an American accent (MP3), and he promptly decided against it.

I think I can do semi-passable Received, if I try.  Also, I think I pulled off whatever accent those Findus guys were doing.  Also, I cannot do Orson Welles, as you can see.

Good grief, it is Wednesday.

Yeah, it's still Tuesday over here.  I was trying to figure out...UTC -5, 1700...

Ain't often you get that level of feedback in depth, and I dig that. Cheers, man!

The trouble is that that's the sort of stuff that (I assume) you get when you're actually recording the lines with someone in the booth.  You've got tons of tape, and all you have to do is say, ``I want that line done over with this spin on it, or that spin.''  But when you're doing this over the internet, it seems rather trivial to say something like, ``You did that take with too little emotion.  Go back, get your studio set up again, rerecord, send it back to rapidshare, and wait for more comments,'' if it's something very minor.

[Fuyudenki]

Devin sounds good, looking forward to a redub with less echo.  Xander's absolutely great.  Now, we're back to Abel.  I think your Abel needs some better sound equipment.

The rough edit sounds great!  Audiological anomolies aside, the characters sound like they're actually responding to each other.  Can't wait to hear the final dub.

I recall that someone was visiting England and was debating whether to try to imitate a British accent, since he picks up accents like nothing anyways.  I pointed him to the bit in Snatch where Turkish effects an American accent (MP3), and he promptly decided against it.

Surprisingly, if I only heard the "American accent" portion of that, I'd probably think it was the real deal.  Reminds me of Will Smith, except with a deeper voice.  Of note: I am American.  Coloradoan, to be specific.  I occasionally have the slightest southern drawl that you can only hear when Steam's voice chat filters it up.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Sounds good, although I can hear the various bits people have commented upon.

(Just thought you guys might appreciate that others are listening :-)

[Tezkat]

Hmm... since I finally found a little mic time, I thought I'd offer a take on Aniz. Okay, so my campy "villain always has to be English" voice is just silly, but the delivery is in the neighbourhood of how I think you should read Aniz in terms of attitude and emotionality. He's playfully happy and secure throughout the whole scene, with just the hint of threat. He certainly doesn't look angry at the end. If you can pull that off with a deeper, slightly more serious American accent, I think you'd nail the character.

The other villains always have to be English, though.

I recall that someone was visiting England and was debating whether to try to imitate a British accent, since he picks up accents like nothing anyways.  I pointed him to the bit in Snatch where Turkish effects an American accent (MP3), and he promptly decided against it.

I think I can do semi-passable Received, if I try.  Also, I think I pulled off whatever accent those Findus guys were doing.  Also, I cannot do Orson Welles, as you can see.

That sample wasn't bad. Actually, I'm a tad jealous; I personally have a lot of trouble mimicking African American accents. For the record, I can't pull off a very convincing Orson Welles, either, no matter how many times I try to take over the world.

I do have a nasty habit of picking up bits of local accents when I travel, however...

[superluser]

Hmm... since I finally found a little mic time, I thought I'd offer a take on Aniz. Okay, so my campy "villain always has to be English" voice is just silly, but the delivery is in the neighbourhood of how I think you should read Aniz in terms of attitude and emotionality. He's playfully happy and secure throughout the whole scene, with just the hint of threat. He certainly doesn't look angry at the end. If you can pull that off with a deeper, slightly more serious American accent, I think you'd nail the character.

He seems happy, and smug, but not secure (or gloating).  On the last line of 85, I was tempted to say that I was planning to connect that line with the next one, but it turned out that I would have to wait for May's line.  He seemed to be on a roll.

The way you (and TW) read him seems to be a pretty straightforward view of the character, but this doesn't seem to be a straightforward situation.  I'll even say that I don't think that I can do the voice if it's supposed to be straightforward.  For a variety of reasons, but mainly that I don't think that I can grok the character.

Edit: what I mean by not secure is that it reads sort of like his foot's gone numb, and he's still trying to rub feeling into it.

The other villains always have to be English, though.

Why is he enunciating like that?  I don't see that sort of enunciation coming from him.  Unless he's a sort of Darth Vader character, I don't see him coming out of a battle where one of his students died and another deserted being cool, calm and collected.  Even if he didn't even break a sweat, I think he'd be pretty excited.  I'm trying to think of a good reference, but I'm coming up with nothing.  I just think that Kria's teacher shouldn't sound like he stepped out of the trailer, blow-dried and ready to go.

For alternative interpretations, I can almost see a working-class accent on it.

(Michael Caine might be fun to try!  I think any line can be improved by having Michael Caine say it.  It wouldn't work from a stylistic standpoint, but it *would* be fun.)

Edit: Also, I don't think that the pronunciation/accent is wrong, just the timbre of the voice.  Maybe I should just re-write this message (but I'm not going to).

[Goatmon]

I too did a take on Aniz.  It didn't seem right to really play the "evil sound" to his voice, since he seems to be having fun about it.  Though I think I came out sounding like he was having a little TOO much fun. x3

http://media.putfile.com/Aniz-by-Goatmon

[Fuyudenki]

doesn't sound much like Aniz to me, but I think you should take a shot at Albanion.  That's exactly the kind of voice I think he needs.

[Goatmon]

Y'know, I just might do that. 

[Tapewolf]

Finally managed to play back the Aniz files by Tezkat and Goatmon.  I agree that Goatmon's voice would probably be better for Albanion.

I'd say Tezkat has mastered the forgetful part of Aniz' speech.  The accent is peculiar, though - it's like something from 'Round the Horne'.  I'm undecided as to how well the accent works in fact, although unless someone else manages to nail Aniz completely and does such a good job on the acting I'll be happy to go with it.

As for the shadowy guy, his lack of concern IMHO makes it all the more creepy.  The two voices are somewhat similar though so I'm not sure we could get away with using both unless it turns out that Mr. Shadow was Aniz anyway, which Amber has implied is not the case.

[Fuyudenki]

I just listened to Tezkat-Aniz, too.  That's good, but I think it would fit better if Aniz had a handlebar mustache than a goatee.  Sounds very Snidley Whiplash.

Which, of course, had the offshoot of almost sending me into giggles.  ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Oh, I say! Jolly good show, what?

*snicker*

[rabid_fox]

Well. This is a turn up for the book. I got an elbow in the throat today breaking up a fight in the corridor and my voice is totally askew. Apologies, but it'll probably be a week before I'm good to record anything decent.

[Tezkat]

I'd say Tezkat has mastered the forgetful part of Aniz' speech.  The accent is peculiar, though - it's like something from 'Round the Horne'.  I'm undecided as to how well the accent works in fact, although unless someone else manages to nail Aniz completely and does such a good job on the acting I'll be happy to go with it.

Um... er... I wasn't seriously auditioning for Aniz.

To tell you the truth, the accent wasn't really supposed to work. I took the camp English villain voice (mostly Tim Curry, with some Kenneth Williams, Jeremy Irons, and a menagerie of cartoon antagonists mixed in) that I pull out when I plan on badly overacting an evil villain, and I smoothed it out a tad for the part. Personally, I'd prefer to hear Aniz with an American accent. (And less gay... ) I'd have trouble playing him with one, however. People would wonder why Abel and Dan have the same dad...

As for the shadowy guy, his lack of concern IMHO makes it all the more creepy.  The two voices are somewhat similar though so I'm not sure we could get away with using both unless it turns out that Mr. Shadow was Aniz anyway, which Amber has implied is not the case.

Shadow guy is how my normal speaking voice sounds with a Patrick Stewart style theatrical RP accent. He does sound reasonably distinguishable from Aniz to me, but then I'm hardly unbiased. If I pump the villainousness back up, the Aniz voice could work for this guy instead, however.

Why is he enunciating like that?  I don't see that sort of enunciation coming from him.  Unless he's a sort of Darth Vader character, I don't see him coming out of a battle where one of his students died and another deserted being cool, calm and collected.  Even if he didn't even break a sweat, I think he'd be pretty excited.  I'm trying to think of a good reference, but I'm coming up with nothing.  I just think that Kria's teacher shouldn't sound like he stepped out of the trailer, blow-dried and ready to go.

For alternative interpretations, I can almost see a working-class accent on it.

(Michael Caine might be fun to try!  I think any line can be improved by having Michael Caine say it.  It wouldn't work from a stylistic standpoint, but it *would* be fun.)

Edit: Also, I don't think that the pronunciation/accent is wrong, just the timbre of the voice.  Maybe I should just re-write this message (but I'm not going to).

The character honestly didn't feel very "excited" to me. I saw him as a cold-blooded bastard who watched his students kill and be killed with detached amusement or annoyance, perhaps, but not bubbling with excitement. If anything, I'd be inclined to try making him even icier. But that's just me...

Besides, it's a fun voice to do. I'm not sure where I could take the timbre and still keep the accent, however. A softer reading with less gravel would become something similar to my Dr. Ink voice. A rougher voice might turn out a bit too cartoony. Maybe adding a bit of air and age? Raising the pitch a bit could certainly work for the character--except then it would sound like the voice I'd just recorded for Aniz (unless I go even higher into the super camp range).

Apparently, I can't quite manage Michael Caine (a source of annoyance, as he's supposedly easy to mimic), but did I try a reading with a more Cockney/Home Counties accent. I killed it with fire.

Well. This is a turn up for the book. I got an elbow in the throat today breaking up a fight in the corridor and my voice is totally askew. Apologies, but it'll probably be a week before I'm good to record anything decent.

Ouch. Get well soon!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Apparently, I can't quite manage Michael Caine (a source of annoyance, as he's supposedly easy to mimic), but did I try a reading with a more Cockney/Home Counties accent. I killed it with fire.

Camp Freddy, we all know...

... You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

*innocent look*

[Tapewolf]

The accent is peculiar, though - it's like something from 'Round the Horne'.

I took the camp English villain voice (mostly Tim Curry, with some Kenneth Williams, Jeremy Irons, and a menagerie of cartoon antagonists mixed in)

That would account for it

Well. This is a turn up for the book. I got an elbow in the throat today breaking up a fight in the corridor and my voice is totally askew. Apologies, but it'll probably be a week before I'm good to record anything decent.

Ack.  Hope it gets better soon.

[superluser]

As for the shadowy guy, his lack of concern IMHO makes it all the more creepy.

The lack of concern is right.  The timbre/accent, IMHO, is not.

Mr. Shadow was Aniz anyway, which Amber has implied is not the case.

No, she bet me that *Cid* wasn't Mr. Shadow.  (I had been meaning to bring this point up)

Well. This is a turn up for the book. I got an elbow in the throat today breaking up a fight in the corridor and my voice is totally askew. Apologies, but it'll probably be a week before I'm good to record anything decent.

That's no good!  Get well, man.

To tell you the truth, the accent wasn't really supposed to work. I took the camp English villain voice (mostly Tim Curry, with some Kenneth Williams, Jeremy Irons

Now I get it!  That is an awesome cross of Tim Curry and Jeremy Irons.

Shadow guy is how my normal speaking voice sounds with a Patrick Stewart style theatrical RP accent. He does sound reasonably distinguishable from Aniz to me, but then I'm hardly unbiased.

I was going to suggest that he sounded a bit like (a British) Jon Lovitz as the Master Thespian.

If I were listening to this at home, and I came to Tezkat's Aniz and Mr. Shadow, I'd start thinking, ``Those voices sound awfully similar.  I wonder if it's the same voice actor.''  They're easily distinguishable, and for the purposes of a radio play, the audience would clearly identify them as two people based on those voices, but they do sound very similar.

The character honestly didn't feel very "excited" to me. I saw him as a cold-blooded bastard who watched his students kill and be killed with detached amusement or annoyance, perhaps, but not bubbling with excitement. If anything, I'd be inclined to try making him even icier. But that's just me...

I don't necessarily mean excited as in happy, just excited as in, ``If I don't have a cool-down lap, I'm going to wind up with cramps.''

Apparently, I can't quite manage Michael Caine (a source of annoyance, as he's supposedly easy to mimic)

It's easy to make it obvious that you're trying to imitate him, even though no one actually sounds like him.  Likewise, Christopher Walken.  Look up Walkentalk (NSFW) for an example.

[Goatmon]

http://media.putfile.com/Albanion

Here we have Albanion's dialog, excluding today's page because it wasn't up yet at the time.  I may record additional dialog later, but I think I'll be lazy and wait for more pages to come first.