Iron Man (Non-review Review with Spoilers)

[Gryphon]

You know... It's actually been a while since I wrote one of these and I don't remember exactly what people wanted me to do in this situation.

So you know what? Spoilers ahoy!

If you know the back story of Iron man you're pretty much got a good start on the character. After that the script deviates through the fine aging process.

Let's get the movie started with a nice introduction to the main character Tony Stark. You'll know who it is by playing one of these things is not like the other. Right about the time when you are mentally saying "Nothing has exploded yet" guess what? Explosion time! And what do you know. It's An Ambush!

Now if you have read the originals or the re-release of the originals or the adaptations of the original you'll know that a Tony Stark without a life threatening condition just isn't Tony Stark. So, as you can sort of expect, Tony gets hit with shrapnel and passes out.

Captured by the enemy, a friendly doctor who is also in the hands of the enemy, does his best to keep Tony alive. Unfortunately Tony is now stuck with shrapnel tunneling towards his heart with every second. The only thing keeping him alive is an electromagnet connected to a car battery.

Now let's flash back to how to this unfortunate series of events has occurred AND have a handy dandy info dump on the nature of the character. Seems Tony is off in the back end of nowhere to demonstrate his brand new Jericho missile. And boy does it work.

Back in the present... The bad guys want his new weapon in their hands. So get cracking.

Tony, after some prodding by the doctor, does as you'd expect them to do. We're not going to build weapons for terrorists! We're going to build a kick-ass awesome suit of armor and kill our way to freedom!

Just as they were about to make their escape they unfortunately run out of time. Just as the comic book ordered the good doctor buys Tony time at the cost of his life. Now the audience is treated to the sheer awesomeness of the armor... And the fact that it is still a cobbled together piece of crap.

Rescued by the air force afterwards Stark heads home and gives a press conference. About how his captivity changed his outlook on life. No longer wanting to be an arms manufacture it's time for something new. This, of course, is not good news for the board of directors and his friends.

Ah well. It doesn't matter. Time to get cracking on version two and three of the armor. And you know what? It comes out just in time for the bad guys from the first half of the movie to start terrorizing the countryside once more. Not only that it's revealed that the old adviser, whom his dad and he have trusted their entire life, has been secretly selling Stark Enterprise weapons to terrorists all along! Gee who would have thunk that he was a treacherous adviser all along?

Let's go kicking ass for vengeance part two!

Now that that is done Tony gets his main love interest to go hack the Gibson for the dirt on the adviser. What she sees is not good. It's all the fault of the adviser! The ambush, the dethroning, everything! Even the weapons specs for a new super suit based on the Iron Man armor.

Meanwhile the adviser discovers that the super suit is good. But the power plant technology hasn't gotten good enough to fit in the suit. But the one in Tony's chest is... So it's time to suck it right out of Tony.

Of course Tony doesn't die and now it's time for the throw down between the super and a severely underpowered Iron Man. Through the use of a reverse Ion cannon using the main bad guy is defeated.

The film closes with the comic book background story cooked up by a certain government organization. Iron Man is actually Tony Stark's bodyguard.

But you know what. In front of every single news agency person Tony stands up and states "I am Iron Man."

Cue credits.

All in all I think it's a great movie. Take your old comic book background. Update it so we have relevant bad guys of the week. (Unless of course you really want the Vietnamese to be the idiots to kick start this whole deal.) Strip out the things that aren't Heroic (Like alcoholism). Add some comedy so that people won't be distracted or fidgety and voila! Seriously there are some good moments of comedy in there.

Oh and by the way. Stick around till after the credits for a special announcement from Samuel L. Jackson.

I know this is a little weird but seriously. Check out the time stamp on this.

[Dannysaysnoo]

Going to see it soon.

It's gonna rule.

[Gryphon]

Oh ha ha. I saw what you did there. You know if someone actually reminded me what this forum's stance was on the subject I'd tailor future reviews in that fashion.

Also. For a sort of semi update

Marvel Vs DC (I'm a mac/Pc parody)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlLeCu63HCA&feature=bz303

[shadowterm]

saw it TWICE. awesome. actually listening to Iron Man by Black Sabbath right when I start typing (this, changing street lights at will, I think somethings going on.) Back on topic!

I'd like to share a theory I have. A lot of people don't understand the propulsion systems on the suit, and mistakenly assume that it's either jet powered or ion. The propulsion is driven by repulsors, like in the Jericho missiles. They repel matter with surprising force through a mechanic of physics wish they'd explained. The jet appearance comes from the repulser actively reflecting the particle portion of light, creating the illusion that it emits light. The Ark reactor shows similar lighting effect, and is able to produce the same feild. Thus suggesting that the field is magnetic in nature, or in some way a result of the energy form used in the power source.

[AmigaDragon]

Interesting difference I noticed between this and other Marvel movies, in the others Stan Lee had unnamed cameos (man crossing street, pretzel or hot dog vendor, etc.), in this one they call him "Hef"