[Story] I have a story in Fanfiction

[ShiningShadow]

I just put up a story in http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4088213/1/Futures_Past If you are interested just go there and take a look and comment or critique it. Tell me what's wrong with it and I will fix it up and make it a better story. Right now this is my first story and read it for yourself and get back to me. Thanks again everybody.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

You really should pay attention, ShiningShadow.

[WhiteFox]

I'd start with presentation. Clean up your run on sentences, punctuation, capitals. Make sure everything is in past tense. Some of the phrasing sounds really weird too, you might want to revise some of the wording.

[ShiningShadow]

sorry I will fix that.