tough love.

[GabrielsThoughts]

tell me what you think about the subject of love... its work related ,and intentionally vauge.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

"tough love", or "love" ? The two are very very different...

[xHaZxMaTx]

Complicated.

[Kamunt]

Complicated.

...Don't get me started. -_-; I'm in love with 3 guys I've met over the internet and am effectively dating a girl in the Real World. (The show, however, sucks.) ~Why'd you have to go and make me so Complicated?...~

[Fuyudenki]

Romantic love?  IMO, it's a waste of time, and turns ordinarily intelligent human beings into jabbering piles of fluff.

It seems to have worked out pretty well for more than a few people on this forum, though, so  to them.


Love between friends, which nobody calls love, because it's awkward, is an interesting thing.  Apparently, I love all of my friends in this way.(That is, I'll give you the shirt off my back, but I'm not about to jump in bed with you.)


Love between parent and child is somewhat between the above two, and that's the one that really sucks.  As much as it hurts, sometimes, you've gotta let the kid burn himself on a candle before he'll listen.(and sometimes, you REALLY SHOULD grab your 5-year-old who's making a fuss in the store, drop his pants, and spank him, right there in the store.  It's not the pain, it's the embarrassment.)

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Heh. If you've got to go to those lengths, by the time he's five, then you've screwed up elsewhere.

The love between friends thing? That's been covered; eros, filios, and agape, three words the greeks used to mean what we term "love" - love of the body, (ie, lust), love of the mind, or brotherly love, and love of the soul.

[Alondro]

I do not love.  I use people and then discard them when there's naught remaining save a dried up husk.   

But as advice to mere mortals, I would say beware infatuation.  It is not love and it will fade quickly at the first sign of trouble.

And that's when the shootout happens.  Just look at the news recently for proof.

[superluser]

I don't know.  No one's ever loved me, so I'm pretty much incapable of explaining it.

...or perhaps I'm in the best position to explain it?

[Jim Halisstrad]

Love's easy.  It usually costs me a hundred smackers and a two block walk but it's usually worth it.

On a serious note though love is indeed a complicated subject that people usually end up over thinking. 
No no, hear me out. 
This might sound like utter bullshit but when you're in love, Actual honest with yourself love, there are usually two options.  Just two.
You can either go for it, or move on.


Not the best advice I know, but it's worked for me so far.

[Fuyudenki]

@ jim

I've got an even easier set of options: drop the "go for it" part!

[Jim Halisstrad]

Yes, but romance is one of life's greatest clusterfucks.
I never miss out on an opportunity for some good old fashion chaos.

[superluser]

I hear love makes people happy (and indeed, the brief spans of time between deciding to ask a girl out and being rejected have been happy times for me).  As such, I think the concept of cutting it out of your life is foolish.

[Fuyudenki]

ah yes, it's happy between asking her out and getting dumped.

But what about after getting dumped?

My (admittedly scant) experience has indicated the pain afterwards is not worth the duration of pleasure.

Kindof like looking forward to having your parents throw you a birthday party for a week, only to show up at home the day of your birthday and discover that someone has broken into your house and splattered your parents all over the walls.

[Cogidubnus]

No greater love hath man than this, that a man might die for another.

Love is caring about others more than yourself.

[superluser]

But what about after getting dumped?

Dunno.  Never been dumped.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Tennyson

Beware of Had I wist.
-- 14th C. Proverb

[Fuyudenki]

But what about after getting dumped?

Dunno.  Never been dumped.

Here's a hint: I've been single for 3 years, because I'd rather castrate myself with a rusty screwdriver than get dumped again.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Tennyson

Point.

Counterpoint:

Try it, some time.
-Agent K, Men In Black

[superluser]

Try it, some time.
-Agent K, Men In Black

Would that I could.  I've got as much charisma as William Shockley (but without the racism or eugenics).

[Kamunt]

Hahah. I found it odd that I've helped a lot of people with relationship problems over the years, even before I first fell in love. I don't know if that makes me a hypocrite or not, but I apparently did something right, because people kept talking me up. <.<; I've always thought I was pretty fat and oogleh, too, but apparently that's not what....oh, 9-10 guys and 4 girls have though? WTF, seriously. A bit of chub and metrosexuality must be the new beefcake, apparently....

[xHaZxMaTx]

Love is caring about others more than yourself.

I guess I don't love anyone, then.


*Cough,* anyway...  I haven't completely kicked love out of my life, but I don't make it a big deal, and I'm not disappointed if it doesn't happen.  It's one of those things I can live without, but would be nice to have.

[Valynth]

No greater love hath man than this, that a man might die for another.

Love is caring about others more than yourself.

I don't exactly love the world, but I'd still sacrifice my life to save it.

I've honestly got nothing on this "love" mostly because I make a distinction between physical attraction and "love" 'cause lets face it, I'm a guy and if I see a pretty face/boobs(mostly boobs) I get aroused.  That doesn't mean I want to actually commit myself to the person in a social and mental way.  It just means my body wants to have sex for the sake of passing on my genes.  Granted that makes me even less inclined mentally to sex, because I'd pity the poor kid who got them.

There, that should make it as clear as the muck from my boots after a ten mile, no stops hike through a swamp.

[superluser]

I've honestly got nothing on this "love" mostly because I make a distinction between physical attraction and "love" 'cause lets face it, I'm a guy and if I see a pretty face/boobs(mostly boobs) I get aroused.  That doesn't mean I want to actually commit myself to the person in a social and mental way.  It just means my body wants to have sex for the sake of passing on my genes.  Granted that makes me even less inclined mentally to sex, because I'd pity the poor kid who got them.

There, that should make it as clear as the muck from my boots after a ten mile, no stops hike through a swamp.

The topic is love, not sex.  If all love means to you is physical attraction, then I guess GT should write that down, but there's more to it than that.

Edit: Let me rephrase that.  You say that you make a distinction between physical attraction and love, and then proceed to talk exclusively about physical attraction.  The subject is love.

[Valynth]

Love is a lot like a negative, you simply can't prove it in logic.  Therefore the only way to determine what it is is to determine what it is not.

[Cogidubnus]

No greater love hath man than this, that a man might die for another.

Love is caring about others more than yourself.

I don't exactly love the world, but I'd still sacrifice my life to save it.

I'm not talking about saving the world. Such a statement is so easy to make - who wouldn't die to save the entire world? That guy in Apocalypse did it, and I don't think he loved the entire world either. Dying to save the world from overt destruction is not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about dying to save another person. Dying for and instead of someone else - much more personal, and much less glorious.
Let's not get the wrong idea. Dying to save someone else is not the only expression of this - certainly, dying to save a loved one, a friend, or a comrade is the greatest expression of human love one might find. But thought this might be the greatest expression of love one might find, it's not all love. Love is caring about others more than yourself: by that I mean, love is patient, love is kind, love keeps no record of wrongs, it is not easily angered, it is not selfish, and it perseveres. It is caring about others, it is those things, and it is both.

[Fuyudenki]

who wouldn't die to save the entire world?

*raises hand*

Particular people, perhaps(bad alliteration!  I didn't ask for you!), but not the whole world.  I do care about certain individuals(that'd be my friends), but as a general entity, the one thing I've found humanity capable of doing reliably is letting you down.

[Cogidubnus]

who wouldn't die to save the entire world?

*raises hand*

Particular people, perhaps(bad alliteration!  I didn't ask for you!), but not the whole world.  I do care about certain individuals(that'd be my friends), but as a general entity, the one thing I've found humanity capable of doing reliably is letting you down.

Perhaps so. And perhaps my logic has been faulty. This happens when you're typing something out after communications class - you can't communicate. *grins*

In retrospect, neither did the guy in Apocalypse, just to pick on him. It could be argued that he sacrificed himself so that stupid kid wouldn't have die - in effect, he died for the kid, and the world was just icing.
However, this wouldn't really contradict what I was saying entirely - by sacrificing his life instead of that kid's, Bruce Willis in effect showed the greatest form of human love. Which, indeed, is admirable.

I would also agree with you about humanity statement, Raist. It might be noble and glorious to sacrifice yourself for the world - then again, one might want to stop and think what they are sacrificing themselves for. I think it would be noble, although I can see someone not giving a damn about humanity at large.
Restating my previous point, sacrificing yourself for the world is not necessarily what I'm talking about. That's glorious - directly stated, it's something that generally one might accede to. But even if you do not find saving the world in general desirable thing, I think perhaps you would still accede to it, Raist - given the choice between your life and all life, I think you might chose your own, if only for the sake of those whom you care about. In any case, you would be dead either way.

I hope that clarifies. As for me, no more statements before coffee. No sir.

[Alondro]

At this point, I'd rather sacrifice myself to DESTROY humanity!  Much easier and quicker than trying to fix the vast world-wide problems.   

[Zedd]

At this point, I'd rather sacrifice myself to DESTROY humanity!  Much easier and quicker than trying to fix the vast world-wide problems.   

Oh I was wondering why you gave me a knife in the back at the SAIA