Engrish it

[Shadrok]

Take a phrase or quote and Engrish it. Here's the site you can do it with.
http://pigeond.net/cgi-bin/e2e.cgi

Post both the English version and the Engrish one.
Have fun.

*EXAMPLES*

"to be or not to be that is the question."

"Because of a certain or because it is not, it is question."



"Dan and Mab's furry adventures."

"The venture which is covered with the fur of Don and Mab's"

[techmaster-glitch]

I'll post the ones I did earlier myself...hee hee hee...

*Ahem*
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
-to-
Mind is rejoicing,, but the meat is weak.

That one i did because I read something in a Reader's Digest magazine once, in the Humor in Uniform section. During the Cold war, the military tried to develop a machine that would translate Russian. They put in that very saying, and, in Russian, it came out as: "Vodka horosho, no myaca slabie" (or something like that) which translates back to: "The alcohol is good, but the meat is poor." Lol.

I wanna be all I can be!
-to-
I wanna when there is I, is everything which is!
...Whaaaat?!?

If it recurs or takes a turn for the worse, then I'm quite certain you'll be the first to know about it.
-to-
If that repeats, or deteriorates, then I am convinced 1st it should know concerning that considerably is.
Yeah, I'll bet...

"I see," Said the blind man as he stubbed his toe.
-to-
"I see, that he threw that toe, it was the blind person simultaneously".
Uh, he threw his toe? Wouldn't you have to amputate first?

Robots are magnificent machines.
-to-
The robot is the magnificent machine.
Close, but it wasn't too complicated to begin with

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
-to-
The chicken why makes the road cross and is high. In order to obtain on opposite side,!
Don't know how the comma at the end got in there...

Aaaand that's all I got for now.

[DarkAudit]

Good night, and good luck.

Be completed cripes and good luck.

[Fuyudenki]

yeah, for some reason, half the stuff I try to Engrish-ize doesn't make much less sense than it did before.

"despite all contrary evidence, I do not exist. "
becomes
"In spite even in all opposite evidence, I do not exist."
yeah, that's about the same.


"excuse me, why are you shooting at me?"
becomes
"I, why am shot with me, you permit?"
no, I don't permit!


"where is my question?"
becomes
"As for my question it is somewhere?"
OK, so that pretty much reversed the meaning.


"you suck!"
becomes
"It inhales!"
OK, THAT was funny.

[Cogidubnus]

"Man proud man, dress'd in a little brief authority, prances like an ape, and plays such tricks before high heaven, as to make the angel's weep."

"Pride of the person the high person, dress'd of a little short authority like the monkey, that kind of trick, does the angel prances, it makes cry before the high heaven to in regard."

[Shadrok]

"Man proud man, dress'd in a little brief authority, prances like an ape, and plays such tricks before high heaven, as to make the angel's weep."

"Pride of the person the high person, dress'd of a little short authority like the monkey, that kind of trick, does the angel prances, it makes cry before the high heaven to in regard."

Is one of those the non "Engrish" version?




"Today is a good day to die."

"It is the good day when today dies."


"The good, The bad, and the ugly."

"Good, bad state, and it is scurvy."
Huh? 

[superluser]

My hovercraft is full of eels.
My hovercraft the eel is complete.

I will not buy this tobacconists it is scratched.
I the cigar store which is hurt do not buy this.

The walls have hearsay.
There is hearsay in the wall.

[Fuyudenki]

let's see what it does to my mom's gingerbread cookie recipe.

Gingerbread Cookies

ingredients
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup dark corn syrup or molassas

1 tablespoon ginger
2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons cloves
optional: 3/8 tsp finely ground black pepper

1 cup(2 sticks) butter
4 cups flower
1 1/4 tsp baking soda

in a small saucepan, boil sugar, water, and corn syrup/molassas.  Remove from heat.

Pour over butter and spices in large bowel.  Mix until butter is melted

add flour and baking soda, mix well.

over and let cool overnight(or refrigerate for half an hour)

uncover, and let soften at room temperature.  Divide into fourths, roll and cut.

Bake 375° for 6 minutes.

"The cookie of Gingerbread

Cone syrup or molassas where the glass water
1/2 glass of sugar
1/2 of raw materials
1 glass is dark

Cinnamon
optional two teeth Poon's of teeth Poon's of ginger
2 of 1 table spoon cloves:
Tsp of 3/8 pulled the black pepper elaborately

1 cup (flower 1 the sodium bicarbonate of 1/4 tsp it scoops)
the butter 4 of 2 sticks

Small pot and boiling sugar, water, and corn syrup/molassas. Remove from the heat.

Pour the butter and the spice which the large intestine ends.

Until the butter dissolves, mix If the wheat flour is added, it mixes sodium bicarbonate, healthily.

If cool overnight (30 parts which become cold it permits or)

Take the cover, allot because it becomes soft at room temperature. Divide into 1/4, roll, and cut.

Burn 375. for 6 parts.

what's this about teeth and intestines!?

[King Of Hearts]

the Gettysburg address... IN ENGRISH!

"It had the new nation where our fathers being the same 輩 where human everyone was drawn up in this continent being free, are imagined 87 years, ago are used exclusively in proposition. Now we are imagined the nation, so, how it tests you engage in the large civil war where so the nation which is used exclusively can withstand, long. We meet at the battlefield where the war is large. As for us lifting up the part of the field, as a final rest place for those which give their lives perhaps here that the nation which lives it came. We to should do this, it is appropriate and appropriate altogether. But, in a larger feeling, we lift up and us consecrate us whom it is not possible this land of the holiness conversion which it is not possible is not possible. The brave person who fought here, life and it died it adds or, or that with respect to the power where we who fall are bad, directly consecrated. As for worldwide will we say a little note, long here, but you remember that never it cannot forget the thing here. It is because it is lifted up here in the incomplete work where that for us life, on the other hand, fought here and advanced so far so nobly. As for that for us who should you lift up to the splendid work where from the deceased which can give these reputations here us it remained before us whom it keeps accompanying in the self-sacrifice which is raised in the cause of that those giving the last eye full self-sacrifice these deceased in this nation, under God, from the earth which is the origin whose freedom is new, but with the government of the people for the people, do not die with the people, and, - being wasteful not dying on the other hand is, - we solve very here."


NEXT!

The Spongebob Square pants theme... IN ENGRISH!

"Under the sea someone has lived in the pineapple? SpongeBob SquarePants! Absorptivity and yellow and is pourous he! SpongeBob SquarePants! Nonsense of maritime affairs desires some kana and others! SpongeBob SquarePants! And as for decrease and the flop of the deck the fish is liked! SpongeBob SquarePants! Preparation is possible and is high. SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob SquarePants and SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePaaaaannttss! !

[lucas marcone]

it is a make shift bridge, do not try crossing it.

-to-

"The transposition bridge of making, without trying the fact that it makes that cross, it is that"

[lucas marcone]

at once we knew we had been defeated. our ancestors predicted so. we as a nation could not sand before the might of kratos.

-to-


"Directly as for us it meaning that nation before the power of kratos cannot polish with the sandpaper, we our ancestors so us who are estimated had known that it is defeated."


sand paper? wha? how? i dont wanna know

EDIT:

at once we knew we had been defeated. our ancestors predicted so. we as a nation could not stand before the might of kratos.

-to-

"Directly as for us it meaning that nation cannot stand before the power of kratos, we our ancestors so us who are estimated had known that it is defeated."

what a diffrence a "t" makes

[xHaZxMaTx]

what's this about teeth and intestines!?

You spelled bowl wrong.


Original (Speech from 'Independance Day'):

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

Engrish'd:

Good morning. Within 1 hour, the aircraft from here connects other things from in the world. And fight of the air whose history of the mankind is largest is made to launch. "Mankind. All because of us new meaning is today proper "in the word. As for us, it is not possible already to consume with the difference where we are small. We connect with our common profits. Perhaps, because once more... the fact that it fights is not destiny, for our freedom of present July 1/4, but autocracy, from pressure or persecution... extermination. We fight because of our rights to live. Because it exists. And we are the day brusqueness coming which wins, July 1/4 is already not known as the American holiday, but it declared the world with one voice as a day: "Do not enter we into the night gently! "We probably will live! We probably will be continue! Present we celebrate our Independence Days!

We probably will live! We probably will be continue!

I lawl'd.

[R.A.M.]

english:"transcending history and the world,a tale of souls and swords,eternally retold."

engrish:"History of mind and the world where you talk eternally over again, the story and the sword it transcends."

eh heh

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Original (Speech from 'Independance Day'):

Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

The interesting thing is I didn't hear that last "Day" when I watched the movie. Sure, it's a big American wankfest ("Isn't America great? We have enough weaponry that if aliens ever come here and start blowing up the world, we can fight back!" *cough*) but they didn't go that far - doing that doesn't even make sense.

"today we celebrate our independence" makes sense. Adding the final "day" does not. But I can see how they might have had two versions, one for internal use, and one for everyone else...

Pet peeve. Sorry...

[DarkAudit]

Original (Speech from 'Independance Day'):

Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

The interesting thing is I didn't hear that last "Day" when I watched the movie. Sure, it's a big American wankfest ("Isn't America great? We have enough weaponry that if aliens ever come here and start blowing up the world, we can fight back!" *cough*) but they didn't go that far - doing that doesn't even make sense.

"today we celebrate our independence" makes sense. Adding the final "day" does not. But I can see how they might have had two versions, one for internal use, and one for everyone else...

Pet peeve. Sorry...

I happened to be in Haifa, Israel when the movie came out. IIRC, the line was "Independence Day" there, too.

[Angel]

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake."
(becomes)
"It is beautiful, it is not the unique snow flake."

"And the Lord said 'Let there be light.'
becomes
"And ' it allotted the main thing which was said there because it is the light/write. ' "

"I'm going to be late for work."
becomes
"I am late for working, it has gone."

[Vidar]

Abrham Lincoln in "Bill and Ted's excellent adventure.

English:
"Four score and seven minutes ago, we, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure, conceived by our new friends, Bill and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition that was true in my time, just as it's true today: Be excellent to each other. And PARTY ON, DUDE! "

Engurisu"
"Four scores and 7 minutes ago, we imagined the friend where your ancestor we are new, the building and Ted in the excellent venture, had. Because as for the gentleman whose this 2 are splendid exactly that is true today in the proposition which is true in my time, it is lifted up,: Be an excellence mutually. And party, man!"

[Angel]

"I wish I had an angel for one moment of love."
becomes
"I desire the fact that I the angel for 1 o'clock of love possess."

[LionHeart]

"Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound"

becomes

"Jumping the building where the single limit is high than the bullet of powerful promotion it is faster than the locomotive which is produced,"

[Ryudo Lee]

"My name is Guybrush Threepwood, prepare to die."

becomes

"My name Guybrush Threepwood, prepares the fact that it dies, is."

[Angel]

"My wings just tried to make me coffee!
becomes
"My wing exactly tried the fact that the coffee is done in me!"
****
"How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?"
becomes
"No person you take baby that it dies in order to paint the house?"

[Shadrok]

Avast me hearties. run out the guns and give them a broad side.

As for Avast there is no my hearties. gun, to those the wide side gives.



Justice will be dispensed by cutlass and cannonade, and all sorts of remorseless pieces of metal.

Justice is distributed by the cutting lath and continual shelling, and various diversified remorseless parts of the metal.

[lucas marcone]

"i am not flying with a nuke strapped to my jewels, but it is the thought that counts."

becomes

"I flying nuke, in my jewel am not bound with the string, but that it counts is thought."

[Azlan]

"Methought I saw the grave where Laura lay, Within that temple where the vestal flame Was wont to burn; and, passing by that way, To see that buried dust of living fame, Whose tomb fair Love, and fairer Virtue kept: All suddenly I saw the Fairy Queen; At whose approach the soul of Petrarch wept, And, from thenceforth, those Graces were not seen: For they this queen attended; in whose stead Oblivion laid him down on Laura's hearse: Hereat the hardest stones were seen to bleed, And groans of buried ghosts the heavens did pierce: Where Homer's spright did tremble all for grief, And cursed the access of that celestial thief!" 

~A Vision upon the Fairy Queen, Sir Walter Raleigh


Becomes:

"As for Methought I the position of Laura inside that temple which has the vestal flame, looked at the grave which does not burn; Looking at the dust thing where the reputation which and, grave fair love and fairer virtue maintained and has lived is buried it crosses such wind,: I met to the Fairy queen entirely suddenly; Being everyone's, whether the mind of Petrarch which cries from thenceforth, and approach gives to approach, it was not seen,: Those this queen attended for the sake of; Did Oblivion of someone's stead put him at hearse of Laura?: Groan voice of the illusion to which as for Hereat the hardest stone seeing heaven bored the hole in order to bleed and is buried: Homer's spright everything sadly when the tremble because of the straw raincoat and access of the thief of that heaven are denounced!"

--------------------

"Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest. Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest. Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!"


Becomes:

"15 people of the box of the person who dies. Yo-ho-ho of ram liquor and 1! It designated the beverage and demon as because of remainder. Yo-ho-ho of ram liquor and 1!"