LOL Dumbest hacker EVAR

[Dakata]

Heh. Someone found this on another forum I go to.

It's "the dumbest hacker on an IRC channel". The guy who made the thread at the other forum said the original's [here], but the site's DED.

* she-witchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* she-witchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<she-witchchecker> why do you kick me
<she-witchchecker> can't you discus normally
<she-witchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn't kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * she-witchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<she-witchchecker> what ping man
<she-witchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<she-witchchecker> i even have dst
<she-witchchecker> you banned me
<she-witchchecker> amit it you son of a she-witch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> sh*t you're stupid, DST^^
<she-witchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<she-witchchecker> for two weaks already
<she-witchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You're a real computer expert
<she-witchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<she-witchchecker> tell me your network number man then you're dead
<Elch> Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
<she-witchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I'm frightened
<she-witchchecker> shut up you'll be gone
<she-witchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
<she-witchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<she-witchchecker> to you man
<she-witchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* she-witchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC.
This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry,
but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.

* she-witchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<she-witchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> she-witchchecker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<she-witchchecker> you're so stupid man
<she-witchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<she-witchchecker> buy buy elch
* she-witchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited.
Nothing happened. I felt relieve... Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack.
Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

* she-witchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<she-witchchecker> elch you son of a she-witch
<Metanot> she-witchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What's up she-witchchecker?
<she-witchchecker> you have a frie wal
<she-witchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don't know
<she-witchchecker> i'm 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<she-witchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<she-witchchecker> be a man turn that sh*t off
<Elch> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<she-witchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes she-witchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he she-witchchecker if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<she-witchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<she-witchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
<He> she-witch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<she-witchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he she-witchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<she-witchchecker> you're afraid
<she-witchchecker> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<she-witchchecker> elch turn off your sh*t wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<she-witchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<she-witchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<she-witchchecker> and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the internet without a fire wall

He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent
then younger, but I couldn't let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is.
I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.

<Elch> she-witchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> she-witchhacker can't hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<she-witchchecker> wort man
<Elch> she-witchchecker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<she-witchchecker> man do you want a virus
<she-witchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it's easy
<she-witchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<she-witchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom...
<Elch> i'll take a look

In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?

<she-witchchecker> don't need to rescue you can't son of a she-witch
<Elch> that's bad
<she-witchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<she-witchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone

Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. she-witchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.

<she-witchchecker> tupac rules
<she-witchchecker> elch you son of a she-witch your f: is gone and e: too

Drive E Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted....

Or isn't it happening on my computer?

<she-witchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn't meta say anything
<Elch> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<she-witchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on she-witch

The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! she-witchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner!
But how did he do this? I'll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.

<she-witchchecker> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<she-witchchecker> i'm already at c : 30 percent

Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?

* she-witchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias "she-witchchecker". We see that he has a "Ping timeout".
We haven't seen him since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.

[Boog]

Dakata, for bringing me this hilarious story I dub thee most awesome person on the clockwork mansion forums for the next five hours. Now go, you have some power to abuse.

[KarlOmega1]

Boy was the guy stupid...

[bill]

"Stupidity, the only 100% effective anti-hacker tool."

[Kasarn]

This is so incredibly old

Just let me get my robe and wizard's hat... oh wait, different thing...

[Zedd]

THat was good

[Dakata]

This is so incredibly old

So? It's still funny.

Dakata, for bringing me this hilarious story I dub thee most awesome person on the clockwork mansion forums for the next five hours. Now go, you have some power to abuse.

Can I abuse my power tomorrow? I don't feel like abusing it right now.

[superluser]

This is so incredibly old

Either this or a very similar thing.  If you haven't seen it, it's still very funny.  Other oldies but goodies:

P-p-p-powerbook

And, the granddaddies of them all, BOFH (Warning!  Contains language!) and the Turbo Encabulator

[Aridas]

I saw a few stories like that one before, but they were pretty short... since the stupid person just got straight to the point without gabbing. No fun.

[Saist]

here's the original video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbVY5teBzlg

[superluser]

here's the original video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbVY5teBzlg

And the Time magazine article from 1946.

But the best part about the video?  It appears to have actually been done by some people at Allen-Bradley.

[Brunhidden]

*feels really stupid now that all his preperations to kill the ping man are in vain*

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner, that is what I'd truly like to be. For if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner, everyone would be in love with me.

[Aridas]

Ping is a chinese hacker you know... he got me all the time before but I just learned to stay off IRC.

[superluser]

Ping is a chinese hacker you know... he got me all the time before but I just learned to stay off IRC.

Oh, yeah!  Another classic.



The book describes networking in terms even a child could understand, choosing to anthropomorphize the underlying packet structure. The ping packet is described as a duck, who, with other packets (more ducks), spends a certain period of time on the host machine (the wise-eyed boat). At the same time each day (I suspect this is scheduled under cron), the little packets (ducks) exit the host (boat) by way of a bridge (a bridge). From the bridge, the packets travel onto the internet (here embodied by the Yangtze River).

[Madd the Sane]

That is too good!  What hacker doesn't know that 127.0.0.1 is his own computer! 

You should have said you could reach your computer with localhost.  If he didn't figure it out then, he's so veeeery stupid.

And I dare someone to visit http://127.0.0.1:631  You may see something interesting.  Or nothing.  In two days I will tell you what the address does (or would do) 

[Saist]

That is too good!  What hacker doesn't know that 127.0.0.1 is his own computer! 

You should have said you could reach your computer with localhost.  If he didn't figure it out then, he's so veeeery stupid.

And I dare someone to visit http://127.0.0.1:631  You may see something interesting.  Or nothing.  In two days I will tell you what the address does (or would do) 

there are better ways to manage CUPS, you know that right?

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

there are better ways to manage CUPS, you know that right?

There are. There probably aren't for windows PC's, though....

[Eldoran]

I am not going to read all of this. It'd be like reading www.timecube.com word for word. Ugh.

[Madd the Sane]

Dangit!  Someone knew!
I wanted to see who had unix
Oh, well.  I doesn't matter anyway.

[fesworks]

This is so incredibly old

Just let me get my robe and wizard's hat... oh wait, different thing...

!!!!! Anyone have a link to that one! I remember that, but I wanna read it again!

[Aisha deCabre]

That's just hilarious...I remember reading something similar.

Just goes to show how stupid some people are.  The internet is always proving to be a medium for said stupidity, but as we see here, more for the crafty ones.   

[Zorro]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/

Still what hacker has only one computer? 

[Kasarn]

This is so incredibly old

Just let me get my robe and wizard's hat... oh wait, different thing...

!!!!! Anyone have a link to that one! I remember that, but I wanna read it again!

I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman shiny bishounen.

[Eibborn]

Heh. Reminds me of the time when I was playing Diablo II and some guy, after telling me he could 'dup' (duplicate) my items (which led to me telling him that he was a moron) started telling me he would hack me and started mashing in ones and zeros in the chat. I simply guffawed at him until he went away.

Not quite as stupid, but certainly running in the same vein.

[fesworks]

Thanks!

[Turnsky]

ah, a definite classic

[Toric]

Oh the turbo encabulator video was fantastic. "If it is below 10 RG's you will be directed to perform a series of tests that will effectively raise the billable hours for the service department, but will perform no other useful functions."

[Boog]

I hadn't seen the robe and wizard hat bit. That's great!

[Akisohida]

Man, gotta love teh intarnetz. I once had a guy in WoW in my party who saw me win a loot roll for 'The Black Knight' and he wanted to AH it. WHen I said I could use it, he threatened to 'hack my ip'. I WILL give him a little credit after I gave him my IP; He said 'Next time you log off WoW, you will never be able to log back on'. At least he had a claim I could not back refute unless I sent mail to every person in the group to tell them that I could still log on and none of us really cared that much because we knew he had the IQ of a seven year old. Of course, simply for claiming to hack me, I reported him to the Blizz Admins. 'Hacking' attempts are met with being banned so I think my firewall bounced his hacking back and made him block himself from WoW.