What exactly does "pretty good" mean?

[thegayhare]

Hi hi folks...

Sorry to be a pest,  this is something that's been eating at me ever since I went on my trip down to see my now exfox.  Sorry to bring that up again.

There was a lot that happened on that trip but I could rationalize most of it...  But the thing that turned out to be the final straw was when I made him dinner.  One of my best recipes,  it took an hour to prep then cooking time, tinkering with the sauce to get it just right.  I set up two plates arranged nicely at the dinner table.  First insult he wouldn't eat with me.  He took his plate over to his computer, but the one that really hurt was being told it was "pretty good". And I don't know why,  it's still digging at me.  Hell last night after my cat stole a chocolate chip cookie and ate half of it I felt vindicated and sent out several textmessages to friends basicly saying "screw him if he doesn't like my food I have a pet that likes it enough to risk life and limb to steal my food".

I don't know ow why that pretty good hurts.  Was it because of the tone in his voice? Just that final insult to my pride? Or is it the term used?  Pretty good it seems like your saying it's not enough to be good but it's not terrible

I know I should let it go but it's just eating at me.

Sorry to be a bother and thanks for your time

[VAE]

Hmm.
I guess it's the nature of last straws that they're, well, straw - it's the accumulation of everything else that led to it that's the problem. (btw this is another application of laws of dialectic materialism to understanding life, thank you Mr's Marx and Engels)

Though, what of the whole complaint - well, there's this thing about not casting pearls before swine. I mean from what I have read, rather than anything malicious, it plain sounds like he is a very unpicky eater, the sort like say, me or my grandpa - aunt tends to say we're best diners since we praise just about anything, but like, neither of us tends to wax lyrical about chow.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

It sounds to me as if he really doesn't appreciate you, Bunny. And that's just sad - for him.

Not being willing to sit down and eat with you is a big warning sign, right there. I mean, in terms of priorities, the real live person in front of you trumps the computer, every time. If you don't have that straight, you deserve to live alone.

[thegayhare]

thanks Llearch...  sad to say  while making tamales I realised why this came to a head now....

Its another birthday alone.  first birthday since it officaly ended, though in truth all my other birthdays were alone too,  he'd always say he was sending something but never got around to sending it...  i always clung on though and now i don't even have the false comfort

oh well sorry again folks

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

*hugs* You're not alone. We're here.

We might not be much use, but we're here all the same. ;-]

[Amber Williams]

I suspect the reason it still digs is probably because the phrase is rather non-committal.  It's almost a hollow compliment in that it has a positive word in it, but combining it with pretty tends to make it just very...I want to say "safe" sounding.  It's kind of like trying to say a compliment without actually investing. Or how some people will cutesify words like love into wub or lub because the word love has too much impact and meaning behind it that they don't want to actually attach to.

Saying something is "pretty good" tends to mean that while it isn't bad, the person isn't really invested.  It's like if someone asks about a movie and someone says "it was pretty good." it usually would segue into them explaining WHY it was pretty good.  Just kind of shrugging and leaving it at that kind of just makes it seem like even though you enjoyed it, it didn't really have any worth to go into detail over.


And frankly, from what it sounds like, that seems to be that guys issue in a nutshell in that it sounds like he just kind of had no interest outside of what general convenience was within arms reach of him and no real sense of appreciation.  That it seemed like he just sort of was coasting along giving only the barest minimum if not even that.  Honestly, it sounds like you really are better off without something like that.  Being solo can be tough, but it really does sound like it was a one-sided relationship and that he would likely just drag you down.

*hugs for da bunny*

[Brunhidden]

im more used to handing my wife food that i have cooked, asking 'how is it' and her reply is 'im eating it aren't i?', which i usually interperate as 'its not bad enough to throw out and demand something else'

although 'pretty good' by itself shouldn't be sneezed at, not everything can be 'excellent'. similar to the discussion on how overuse of the term 'epic' has rendered it pointless- when people describe a turkey sandwich as 'epic' or finding a dollar in their couch, they forget the scale of the words

for reference, this should be a benchmark for the use of 'epic' https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=WL&feature=player_detailpage&v=eA0JVAeSibc

there is nothing wrong with 'good' or 'pretty good' on their own, only when they're used with a tone or implication does it get to be less then a compliment. like when you hear that 'but...' hovering after

[thegayhare]

*hugs* You're not alone. We're here.

We might not be much use, but we're here all the same. ;-]

thanks hon... sorry to be so whiny just feeling low.  sorry

I suspect the reason it still digs is probably because the phrase is rather non-committal.  It's almost a hollow compliment in that it has a positive word in it, but combining it with pretty tends to make it just very...I want to say "safe" sounding.


Saying something is "pretty good" tends to mean that while it isn't bad, the person isn't really invested.  It's like if someone asks about a movie and someone says "it was pretty good." it usually would segue into them explaining WHY it was pretty good.  Just kind of shrugging and leaving it at that kind of just makes it seem like even though you enjoyed it, it didn't really have any worth to go into detail over.

I think your right ma'am,  that feels a lot like truth. 

And frankly, from what it sounds like, that seems to be that guys issue in a nutshell in that it sounds like he just kind of had no interest outside of what general convenience was within arms reach of him and no real sense of appreciation.  That it seemed like he just sort of was coasting along giving only the barest minimum if not even that.  Honestly, it sounds like you really are better off without something like that.  Being solo can be tough, but it really does sound like it was a one-sided relationship and that he would likely just drag you down.

*hugs for da bunny*

again that feels alot like the truth ma'am,  its something I noticed in the week I was there.  All he had in his place was processed instant stuff frozen meals, canned stuff and instant meals.   even where there was left overs  from my meals in the fridge he never ate any after the day I made it instead going for more instant stuff. 

thanks for everything hon *hugs*

im more used to handing my wife food that i have cooked, asking 'how is it' and her reply is 'im eating it aren't i?', which i usually interperate as 'its not bad enough to throw out and demand something else'

although 'pretty good' by itself shouldn't be sneezed at, not everything can be 'excellent'. similar to the discussion on how overuse of the term 'epic' has rendered it pointless- when people describe a turkey sandwich as 'epic' or finding a dollar in their couch, they forget the scale of the words

LOL 
Ohh no worries Im not some one who expects every meal to be showered with praise,  on average I cook 6 meals a week for the family in addition to packing lunches.   I can't make all of them 4 star cuisine. like tonight was simple,  corn on the cob, with home made oven baked ranch flavored chicken strips.  a meal I could do in my sleep, but it tasted good and my family appreciated it, and thanked me for making dinner.  (me and my mom were laughing over the fact that I now have a meat hammer and got to use it for the first time,  and it was well worth the two bucks I paid at auction for that bucket of kitchen stuff)  when I made something for jon I got the feeling afterwards like "that was nice but you needen't have bothered I have a can beef a roni in the cupboard"  just the feeling that they apreciate what you did for them

for reference, this should be a benchmark for the use of 'epic' https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=WL&feature=player_detailpage&v=eA0JVAeSibc

DAMN....  now that looks awesome soooo much want

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

*hugs* You're not alone. We're here.

We might not be much use, but we're here all the same. ;-]

thanks hon... sorry to be so whiny just feeling low.  sorry

You're not whiny, just a little low. It's perfectly okay, we're here for that. ;-]

again that feels alot like the truth ma'am,  its something I noticed in the week I was there.  All he had in his place was processed instant stuff frozen meals, canned stuff and instant meals.   even where there was left overs  from my meals in the fridge he never ate any after the day I made it instead going for more instant stuff. 

Hey! I resemble that! ;-]

... in that I have a lot of pre-processed meals, but since there's only me here, that's hardly a problem. I _will_ eat leftovers, but I don't use the oven because, well, I don't want to have to clean it. >.>

That's not to say I wouldn't appreciate it if someone else were to make me a meal, mind. That's a totally different thing, and, frankly, even if the food were nearly inedible (which I _don't_ think is the case), his response was just downright rude. Plus all the stuff that Ambaargh enunciated far better than I would. ;-]

for reference, this should be a benchmark for the use of 'epic' https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=WL&feature=player_detailpage&v=eA0JVAeSibc

DAMN....  now that looks awesome soooo much want

Heh. I felt it was five and a half minutes well spent, as well. >.>