Ze Amber For Canada Project.

Amber Williams · December 17, 2008, 11:30:57 PM

The "Ambers for Canada" project.

To skip to the To-Do List, go HERE

To skip to the Cameo Auction, go HERE

To skip to me ranting like a loon, go HERE

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Questions, comments, and all that jazz can be sent via PM on the forum or to Amber@mabsland.com.
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So here I am on the biggest and probably most scariest thing of my life. I basically have until January 31st to get my paperwork in gear or get out. And let me tell you...it's not a picnic in the stress department.

Before I continue though, I want to let everyone know that even if no one donates a single cent, I will not be stopping DMFA nor will I be completely boned. As of right now, that amount isn't what I really need to get things done, its what I already paid. The problem really is more that it completely stomped Mason and my savings and if anything goes wrong...well...this is gonna suck.

What this page and auction really is doing is not me trying to raise money to pay for these things, its raising money to recover the amount we have already paid ourselves. After all has been paid, Mason and I have about...200 bucks to our names. Which, if it boils down to it, we will survive (others have survived worse after all). It's just...very unsettling.

I listed the individual costs of various things that played a part in this. Things like the car repairs, last months bills, etc...were pretty much covered by previous donations and our own finances.

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So yeah. Final notes:

DMFA shall continue on. Even if I dont get a single donation, I will finish the stuff I owe.
The auction will be added to the tally bar as well as any money I make from selling things.
The goal is stupid-high and I dont expect it to be met in any sense. If I can even get to $500, then I will be happy cause that will put $500 back into Mason and my "in case of bad" buffer that we no longer have.
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Thank you for your time, your patience, your past support, and your trust.

I admit I am uneasy even posting this whole thing. Its incredibly discomforting to make oneself vulnerable to the internets. There have been two other times I particular remember doing this, once after I first got kicked back from Canada and my computer completely fried...and the other not too long ago. In both cases it was very scary cause you never know what is going to happen.

So here it goes. Wish me luck.

Either way, come January 31st...something is going to happen.
I hope it will be a good something.

Amber Williams · December 17, 2008, 11:40:32 PM

The Great Big "Need to do this List"

I figure keeping an active tally on what all I need to do will not only help me keep track of things, but also may help other peeps who may one day need to deal with the immigration process realize what all needs to be done for such an undertaking.

Round One I need to get:

* Copy of my birth certificate; *check*
* Copy of my passport biographic page (if you have one); *check*
* Copies of any Immigration documents which Immigration Canada my have issued to me; *check*
* Copy of recent bank statement; *check*
* Copy of my marriage certificate; *check*
* Several photos of the two of you together taken of the years dated and labeled on reverse, together with a few cards, emails, telephone bills showing contact between you; Still need to get several letters in and maybe some more recent photos. Calling Mason's mom tonight.
* Money! *check*
* Statement from me outlining how, when, where I met Mason, the circumstances of my first meeting, etc...and how the relationship progressed over time. *check*

ESTIMATED DUE DATE: Monday!

Current Status: We are still missing a couple parts. Mainly letters from some peeps (which are in transit) and some of Mason's tax info. (which will hopefully be with Mason's mom) But all in all...everything is submitted. Now to sit and hope that it doesn't reveal horrible forboding DOOOM.

Amber Williams · December 18, 2008, 12:02:55 AM

CAMEO AUCTION

The Cameo auction is over. I want to give a thanks to everyone who participated, either by trying to bid or just wishing luck. I'm really kind of...wow...over the actual result. When I started, I really thought it wouldn't pass 600 at most. For a brief second the little shoulder devil Amber popped up saying I should totally do one of these again at some point.

That shoulder devil was promptly beaten with sticks and silenced.

As much as I appreciate the money and how much it will help, I do admit the amount is a bit unsettling. And definately something I will have to remember. There is a fine line in the webcomic artist world between raising funds and abusing readers good intentions and bank accounts. And it's a line I worry all too much of crossing. As such, while I would like to one day give other peeps a chance to have their characters cameo in DMFA...I will be likely avoiding doing an auction similar to this again.

Unless it's for something like charity.

Thanks again everyone. And congrats to the winner. Now to see how much I can make you regret this. Woo!

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Current Top Bid: Morris $1750
Second Top Bid: Jay(2) $1500

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Amber Williams · December 18, 2008, 12:06:12 AM

Extra Info!
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This is mainly going to be me rambling and keeping things up to date. Cause as I said before, I am tired of the front page being ranty.

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Day One: Starting up the auction, still a bit aggravated at Furbid. You never realize how convenient things are until you dont get to use them anymore. It took me half an hour to write all this stuff and I have yet to even deal with the possible blargh of what is going to happen once it all starts.

Really my biggest worry is how I am going to handle multiple people bidding amounts that dont match the person's amount. Or if two peeps bid the same. Or if no peeps bid at all. Or if I get nothing but angry emails telling me how I am a hack who constantly demands money from her readers without ever making with the goods.

Stress stress stress stress.
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Day Two: Just woke up and am wading through mail. I am intending to gather up all the stuff that just needs photocopies today and then writing that outline of the Mason and my relationship. Called a few relatives and friends to ask for letters of validation. I realize that what is going on is Mason and I are being giving smaller chunks of duties each round to lessen the massive amount. Next up will probably be the FBI record check and the medical exam. Which I admit worries me since I have been what feels like borderline "blargh" all fall.

So far things seem to be looking good. Though I have noticed I am usually 80% more optimistic right after I wake up. I guess that makes me a morning person.

Pt 2: Ye googlie moogies. I think peeps are trying to make me suffer heart attacks or something. Honestly I expected maybe 200 of donations and 300-400 in regards to the cameo auction...but by afternoon both those expectations got blown out of the water. Not that I am complaining...cause wow. You have no idea how much weightis off Mason and my shoulders.

Mason in particular was very happy since the biggest stress he was feeling was if rent was going to be a stretch this month. But with that hurdle more or less overcame, we can now focus primarily on the paperwork and all the hassle of that. Which granted, at this point isn't all that bad. At this stage, 80% of the stuff we need to do is photocopy and gathering. And the writing. All of which can be done in an afternoon.

I am pretty much planning to get my part done by tomorrow evening so that all I have to fuss over is looping some family and friends writing in some vouchers of "Yes they have been together a while. No. She is not a terrorist."

We intend to just drop the first batch and the check off on Monday and hopefully we will get word back on what part is next. I know there is a doctor to vist and something with the FBI. (though in the latter, that luckily is dependant on the US government so the paperwork will allow that part to be delayed)

Right now its just busy busy busy. But its a good busy. I am still really floored that the max amount was nearly met in a single day. (And really once the auction ends, it will more than exceed that.) I hope now I can finally get a good nights sleep and focus on the wallpapers and comics.

I want to give my thanks to everyone who donated, who sent in emails of good lucks, and offered advice. For the first time since I got back, I feel really confident that things are actually going to work out after all.

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I think I am gonna start making new posts for new days. This is prolly gonna get wordy fast.

Amber Williams · December 20, 2008, 01:48:40 AM

Day Three: I luv Fridays! Well...I love them mainly cause of the new update schedule. Friday is pretty much the one day of the week that I can wake up, look at the clock, and decide I want to sleep an extra 4 hours. And that feels nice.

Well...it would feel nicer if there wasnt NARFING SNOOOOW outside. Ugh. Canada has been incredibly bi-polar in its weather. It will melt, then suddenly it is hit with another snowfront that makes the roads impossible. Then it will melt....and repeat. This has made travel a complete bugger. My biggest worry is that Mason's mom really wants to get everyone together in a city 3 hours away for christmas and I honestly do not want to drive cause I just know the weather will crap out on one of those drives and I dont want to drive it. I just dont. I feel bad cause its supposed to be happy family wuv wuv christmas but DO NOT WANT DRIVE. And I realize that's a selfish reason.

Today I am going to probably work on the timeline of Mason and my relationship, though not sure if I should be writing it as an essay or a list yet. MOst of the stuff I just need 5 minutes and a photocopy machine. The bank statement means I need to go out and buy printer ink. Really the biggest delay-culprit is that Mason needs a paper from his boss saying he works gud gud and has a job and the evidence that Mason and I are a couple and not just a duo that met eachother a month ago and got married for ze immigration. Everything else can likely be done in less than 2 hours.

GUD GUD TIMES.

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Pt: 2

So like the genius that I am, I thought to myself "oh hay! I got like...a medical exam that will likely be happening in a couple of weeks. Now, I have had this lingering light cough since the last time I got sick and naturally my conclusion is now that it is some life-destroying cancer that will ruin all my chances of immigrating. So my solution, like many people who seem to lose all rational intelligence when faced with this situation, was that perhaps if I started exercising now...maybe I will be a bit healthier come exam time.

NO ONE SHOULD EVER FOLLOW MY LEAD IN ANYTHING.

Akjadfljld....I am going to not be pleased at all come tomorrow when the muscles in my body decide to let me know how they feel about my little endevour.

That said, things seem to be going as well as they can be. I called all the peeps I can call. Now its all a matter of gathering, printing, photocopying, and check-writing. Then it will be on to the next part...which I am pretty sure is going to be a HORRIBLE TEST OF MEMORY. To all you peeps who think they may immigrate or have someone immigrate one day: SAVE EVERYTHING. Cause they are going to ask you things like " list all the places you have lived in the past 10 years" and "list all the jobs you have had in the past 10 years" and if you are like me...you can barely remember the last 10 days much less if you were holding a job at the age of 15. Also advice, above all make sure that part of your paperwork is seamless. While it likely may not matter if you cant remember if you worked until september or october...what is going to matter is that have september and october on your little sheet. According to the immigraton peep, this is the number 1 reason why the forms get rejected the first time: because someone missed a month.

NO PRESSURE THO. K?

In other news, I started to plot out the wallpapers. The big hitch that has been holding me down is that the two wallpapers...even though I intend to make them a seperate entity...I am also intending for them to possibly become a single image. Primarily this is to offer something to all you dual-screened peeps out there even though I admit I do not fully understand the crazy process. But this basically means I have to literally tape down two 11x17 bristol boards next to eachother and draw the scenery-part over all to make sure the thing will line up come go time.

I repeat: NO ONE SHOULD FOLLOW MY LEAD IN ANYTHING.

Amber Williams · December 20, 2008, 12:24:19 PM

Day Four: Grrr...araaargh...need tea...cannot function yet...

Amber Williams · December 21, 2008, 12:22:27 AM

Quote from: Amber Williams on December 20, 2008, 12:24:19 PM
Day Four: Grrr...araaargh...need tea...cannot function yet...

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Pt 2: Freaking out freaking out freaking out. What if I get the xray and it turns out I have tuberculosis.

Or cancer. Why do I still have a lingering cough even after a month of not being sick? What if this one form cant be done right because I made a mistake sometime last year and it completely ruined everything!? Maybe Mason's financials arent gonna be good enough. Which is worse for me...money in my bank or not. What if this...what if that....

woog...feeling dizzy...

I think the worst part of the process is just the stress and anxiety over what I dont know is going to happen yet. And its like every little thing just sends me into a tizzy.

Its just...sometimes it feels like too much. I have to get the comic done and get all the paperstuff sorted. I may get a friend to come by and help keep me focused.

Right now I just want to time travel to yesterday when I was feeling more confident and the deadline wasnt a day away.

Amber Williams · December 21, 2008, 12:05:56 PM

Day Fiiiiive:
Super freak. Super freak. I'm super-freaking. D:

Today is pretty much a crunch day. Even if Mason and I don't have everything on hand at that exact moment on Monday, we are submitting everything we do have and making a note that the stuff that is missing will be arriving shortly but is due to mail and delays outside our grasp.

Really it's time to get things moved along because there is a lot of ground to cover and frankly, I need to get to the points of stress that are worrying me in regards to the paperwork that are causing me to anxiety.

Mainly there are two factors that are not the strongest in terms of grounding so I am concerned about how they will handle. First off, there is the issue with my side of the family. Now first off, I should mention that I love my side of the family. I get along with them. When I do visit, its great. But...I don't really visit as much as one probably should. And I dont tend to call or email or communicate with them as much as normal people probably do with theirs. Basically...I love them...but I am a terrible communicator and thus hard evidence of that is harder to come by. I mean yeesh...I dont even have my dad's personal information and probably wouldn't have known he passed away if it wasnt for the fact I was needed to sign something.

The second issue is financial. Frankly said, DMFA is an odd setup. I have talked with people before and to them, the idea that I just do a comic and occasionally people send money is incredibly astounding. As such, there is a bit of a "whuzzafuzza?" area in trying to decipher how to go about explaining DMFA. Is it a job? Is it glorified busking? Have I unintentially shot myself straight through the leg by doing this very donation setup? I am honestly not fully sure...and that is where my biggest stress and panics are coming from. When I am not sure of things, I tend to automatically assume the worst case.

Third bonus issue: OH GOD LEGS HURT. D:

Pt 2:
Now comes the part of the day where CRUSHING GUILT comes into play. Urf...I really didn't expect the donation counter to get pretty much to its goal. I expected the combined auction and donations to maybe make it 2/3rd the way...not for the auction to pretty much double the amount.

I honestly feel uneasy about numbers like that. I guess deep down I don't like feeling like I may be popular or I may have a good thing going. I like being obscure and unknown in the community and universe. Things like this make me feel like I have overshot my limits. And honestly, and I realize well in advance this sounds like the whiny artist emo thing to say but hear me out...I really don't feel all that deserving of it. When I started this whole shebang...I started it cause I was in a bind and a panic and was just hoping to recover my losses. Not get ahead of them.

Don't get me wrong. I am happy in some ways, but also very unsettled. I think the thing that I want most at this point is a return to normal-feeling things. I just want to be able to do the comic for a few months without a disaster or me having to deal with paperwork stress, catch up on things, and just get back to life in general.

I am the worlds biggest whiner.

It takes a special class of newb to be distressed about getting too much money. X_x

Amber Williams · December 22, 2008, 11:20:55 AM

Day Six: Monday Morning
Today is the day Mason and I drop off as much of batch 1 as we can. Half of it is "make sure we has bank accounts" half of it is "Make sure we has evidence of wuv", and half of it is a giant check that gets this party started.

Definately feeling nervous...but I predict once the thing is in the drop box, I will be feeling good for all of 10 minutes until panic resets. But oh man it will be a sweet 10 minutes.

Pt Two: Just got back in after dropping off the first batch. Missing a couple bits...but hopefully we have enough to get the ball rolling. The stuff we are missing is mainly stuff that just needs to be found or is in transit on its way. It's an important first step...but still only a step of many. My biggest worry is that there is going to be some hidden unknown thing in it that makes it into a step back.

Pt Three:Woo. Running late as usual. For some reasons Mondays just always hand me my butt when it comes to promptness. This week's culprit was visiting Mason's mom to look for some more photos, get the tax returns, and work out the holiday. We also went grocery shopping for the week so now I got to get back in and sit down and try to get back into the groove of drawing things.

I really wouldnt be suprised if I completely fail hard and end up having to delay YET AGAIN.

WEBCOMIC ARTISTS TO BE. HEAR MY WORDS.
MAKE. A. BACKLOG.

Do not be me. For the love of god. Do not be meeeeeee!

Amber Williams · December 23, 2008, 11:43:08 AM

Day Seven: Round Two: FIGHT!

Going to head out and try to get the last straggling information. Found Mason's tax returns so gotta photocopy all of those. Also still need that letter from his workplace and a 2005 assessment. Once we get those...all that will be left of the first batch of things is more pictures and letters to help our case that we are in fact a married couple who spends time together and loves eachother.

Right now I am just trying not to stress out about the little things I dont know about. Which is hard. I guess in a way I am a bit of a control freak. I don't like having things I can't control...I like straight up knowing "here is the situation." "here is the solution" and going to it knowing if I complete Point A with Point B...situation will be completely successful.

Honestly I can see why so many people feel distrustful of governments and systems. You get some really bad loop arounds and shakes and you can't help but feel the system itself is set up to make you fall. It's really hard when you are submitting something and you honestly cant tell if they are wanting it because they just need it for clerical stuff or they want it because they are looking to find something incriminating.

Working on Perfect Date, but honestly I think I may just do some sort of sketchy filler this year for a holiday update cause this week has only just started but I feel completely thrashed. And apparently on Wednesday I am getting pulled away to do holiday stuff when really all I want to do is stay at home. I really dont feel all that holly jolly christmas spirit but I know Mason's family is really into that stuff. But I realize this is probably the WORST time to suddenly become antisocial and not want to be around family members and friends.

As an aside, though this really should be said first and foremost, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been supportive and who sent in helpful emails and those who donated. I need to update the counter tonight but I can say the goal has been met. More than met at this point. I am probably going to disable donations for a bit to be honest. The donations I have gotten should more than cover Mason and myself for a long while and truth be told...I don't want to give the immigration peeps the wrong idea.

I have found out a few times that while the donation thing tends to not really matter unless I am making 12k+ a year...at the same time it is really hard for people not in the webcomic world to wrap their heads around the idea of someone getting donations for doing what they do. When they think of donations, they tend to think of buskers on the street corner or "will work for food" sign holders who get maybe spare change here and there...not a webcomic peep who is able to rustle up a few hundred (or in this case, a couple thousand). It's definately a sign of shifting times and something a lot of people cannot quite comprehend cause its a concept never really travelled.

So I gotta be careful. Cause while I am sure I am not commiting any crime, it's not a solid black and white thing and it can quirk some brows. And it's very sad when it would probably be easier for them to believe I am smuggling stuff than I just got donations because I asked people on the internet to help me out.

NOT THAT I AM BEING PARANOID.

But yah. Gonna work on Perfect Date. Gonna make a holiday thing for the main page. (I will probably spend the holiday drawing something better to make up for it) and gotta make more bevaaarghs for the counter to let people know the goal has been way met.

That ontop of trying to go out in UGLY BUTT WEATHER again to make more photocopies and other various things. Ugh...seriously...the weather here has been downright nasty.

Amber Williams · December 24, 2008, 03:42:10 AM

Day Seven point Five:

Urgh....figured I would give a bit more details about today's events since it pretty much caused me to completely bomb in regards to this week. I really really really dislike missing updates because I know far too well how easy it is to make a habit of it. But this month...I swear.

So this afternoon Mason and I went out and photocopied a bunch of documents and sent those to the immigration peep and started making plans for how the holiday stuff was going to go down. Basically it was "Get picked up by Mason's mom. Drive to someplace. Have christmas there. Probably Greyhound back the next day at crazy prices." Annoying in some ways...but at this point I am willing to just suck it up.

So in the afternoon, I figure I would go out to a get-together with a friend for a few hours cause it would be fun to do something fun this holiday since my month had been lacking. Considering Canada's weather in this area has been TOTAL BALLS....and I don't like to use that term lightly. But yes. Total balls. Like...every other day has been turning the roads into crazy hazards and I dont know if there is something going on but the plows/ice trucks are not really doing too well this year in comparison to last years. So I decided "you know what. I dont feel comfortable driving my car while it was still somewhat light...screw this. I am going to take public transit." So I did.

I suppose my first warning should have been when the bus arrived so late that it arrived with another bus that followed that same route only a half hour later. But I figure I would press on.

So I did, and when I did arrive it was actually a pretty fun time. I left with a friend and we waited by the bus stop for the bus that would take me home. Giving Mason a call, I asked Mason to meet me outside the drop-off place cause I didnt want to walk home alone in the dark when I got there. After a moment or so, I noticed that there was a car somewhat desperately trying to get out of a parking lot (which at that point had gotten enough snow thick enough they were having a real hard time) and so my friend decided to help out and give the people a push. He did, and they offered him a ride back to his place so he left. No biggie. I would survive. Cause oh hey...here comes my bus.

...and then there went my bus. Apparently when you stand in those little booths and arent' stuck right next to the street, you gain magical invisibility powers. So I was stressed. And a bit panicked cause I couldnt recall if that was the last bus or not. Having no cash and no phone...I started to make whimpery "why me" noises and began the long long LOOOONG trudge back home. Now, its a doable walk in some sense. In the summer...its a really long walk. But in the winter? AGONY. Fortunately for me, after about 6 blocks of feeling sorry for myself...I realized another bus was coming around and thankfully I was in close distance of the bus stop sign. So I was able to show enough enthusiasm for them to stop and I got on and was happy for all of 8 minutes of the remaining trip.

Along the way I must have seen at least 10+ cars that had gone offroad due to the terrible driving conditions. But I figured this was a bus. It can take it. And it did. I got off, wished the driver a good day...and looked around for Mason.

No Mason.

I figured "oh hey. He may have mistook me saying the front for the front of the building from this one side. So I checked.

No Mason.

I figured "Well maybe since I am late he decided he may have missed me so is looking for me. I better stay put."

Half hour later.

I figure "...well crap. Maybe I just missed him and he is home." Now...I know Mason enough to know the route and that if we did end up passing eachother, we would see it. So...cold and already tired...I trudged the remaining 4 blocks to my apartment.

And then realized I had no narfing keys! So there I am...outside the apartment...and sure enough...No Mason cause when I tried to buzz in, the phone went to answering machine. So I was feeling dejected and torn about whether or not to head back. About that time, I noticed a car trying really hard to get into the driveway but was sort of stuck cause the snow was really bad. So I went out and offered to help and helped push her car up and she was able to park. So I at least made someones day a little less stressful. But my back is gonna dislike me tomorrow.

Feeling empowered by aiding another...and also realizing that NO RAPIST/MURDERER/MUGGER/ETC would be caught dead trying to scout the middle of a blizzard for victims...I started the 4 block trudge back to the place I told Mason I would meet him.

And waited and waited and waited. At this point I was worried he may have been hit by a car or something terrible. I went inside the mall area and asked the security if they had seen him and they let me try to call the phone. This time I left a message saying I was at the place and which section I was at. So I went outside the side area and started to walk back to that area cause I wanted to make sure he wasnt out by the one side...

...and narfing snow plow goes by and suddenly I am now knee-deep in SNOOOOOW.

Trudge trudge trudge...soaking wet feet and legs. Standing in the cold for a while. And then I see Mason coming over. As it turns out (of course) Mason was on the complete opposite side this whole time and had just gotten back and got the message and ran back. So re-united, we trudged back the four blocks and made it back in.

About that time I noticed that my bag I had with me had gotten enough snow from it all to completely douse one of my sketchbooks. So much displeasure there as well.

So yeah...I gotta say...not feeling all that grand. Things could have been worse...and I certainly am not nearly as bad off in life in general...but just not a feel-good kind of series of events and even now its still narfing snowing. And Mason's mom expects to travel in that tomorrow. SHE BE CRAZY. CRAZY I TELL YOU.

Right now I am just sore. Sore ankles, sore knees, sore back, sore lungs...I just feel like blargh in general. And I feel worse because I really bombed this week so soon after everyone was super wonderful and helped me out of a really tight sitatuion and I cant even seem to keep a scehdule together.

I'm tired...and prolly will try to sleep soon. But really...I am so not feeling the christmas spirit and I just know this week where everyone else is going to be shoving it down my throat is going to make me just hate the universe something fierce. I dont want to be social. I just want to sleep and then return to normal updates and feel competent again.

So yeah...that was my day. I apologize for the missed update and for the blargh. I dont even have the energy for the donation counter at this time. I am sick of the BS weather conditions and how everyone is pressuring me up here to stop worrying and get back into driving. Its frustrating as heck because everyone around here seems to be in my face about it and thinking I am just being a whiner who is making things complicated because I dont want to drive right now in this weather. And yes...I realize I am being a bit of a whiner...but the weather here is TOTAL BALLS. I know my limitations, I know my cars limitations...and the weather outside has exceeded both big time.

I am gonna just up and say it. This year, I hate christmas. I wish it wasnt here this year and I hate that everyone seems to expect me to just hop into holiday carole gift-giving mode. I havent felt in a christmas spirit most of this month cause all my attention has been immigration. If it wasnt for the fact everyone was reminding me, I wouldnt have even known it was christmas at this time.

I dont want presents. I dont want turkey. I dont want to travel and sing carols and pretend that I am having a wonderful christmas time. I want to be left alone and to go back to drawing and not stressing about the immigration deadline in January and just feel normal again doing comics.

Ugh...sorry for the long rant. It was a really long day for me.

Amber Williams · December 24, 2008, 12:55:22 PM

Day Eight:
10 minutes till I have to leave. Going to be a 3 hour drive in butt driving conditions in a car with 4 other bodies. Then its all the sachharine induced bile of Christmas holidays. Honestly...I feel bad that I am not in good spirits this season. But right now Christmas just feels like a chore, something I have to put on my game face and play along with rather than be genuinely enjoyed. Which really sits badly with me. I don't want to fake Christmas...but right now I just feel too drained to really care and put effort into it.

I am not sure when we will be back. Hopefully on Saturday but who knows. This has foreboding doom all over it. I'm trying my best to keep an optimistic pace and keep on chugging...but I am just exhausted. It's justa lot of things to juggle right now and the one thing I want to do most seems to be the one that takes the hit first when things go crunch.

I hope everyone else has a much happier holiday than I. Have a good safe season and enjoy the happiness that you can get from this time of year. I'll make a post when I return.

Amber Williams · December 26, 2008, 08:12:08 PM

Day Nine
Granted since I had been gone for a bit, this should be something like Day 11 or 12 or something...but I am le tired and dont want to bother figuring out what math is what.

Just got back in and trying to chill for a bit. Been a very interesting Christmas. There was some pretty downer moments but overall there was good ones and I am not in the mood to cling to the negative ones right now. My main focus is waiting for the immigration peep to get back to us on what the next step is.

Really I think thats my biggest worry is that he is going to get back to us and be like "Hey. There is a problem in what you sent me." With the deadling now roaring around the corner, the last thing I want is unexpected hangups.

I am pretty positive the next thing I will be having to throw down information wise is every job I have done in the past 10 years, every place I have lived in the past 10 years, and a list of most of my closest family members. Followed by information of how to do the FBI record and names of medical peeps who will do the medical checkup.

In other news, I think I have figured out what has been causing my cough. I think it may actually be my apartment itself. Considering the vacumn broke a bit ago and we hadn't been able to really vacumn...I am starting to suspect that perhaps the dust and the air in here is what is causing my lil coughs since I definately was doing a lot less when I was away.

If the weather wasnt going to be total BLARGH this whole weekend, I would be tempted to try to buy a new vacumn. I just might when the weather gets nice enough to actually venture out.

I will probably go into more details of the holidayness when I get more sleep. Right now I am still a bit groggy and am trying to catch up on the internets so I can get back to work. I want this to be the last week of major DMFA delays. Though now that I said that, its almost a surefire thing something is going to clock me on the head.

Optimiiiiiiism...

Amber Williams · December 27, 2008, 11:15:45 AM

Day Ten
Sleeep! Delicious delicious sleeeep! Oh how I missed you so! Ahhh....spent pretty much most of yesterday and all morning unconcious and it felt so gooooooood. I always feel bad about sleeping in since it means I could have been working on something important...but since I didn't get any sleep all holidays while visiting, I figure I could give myself the day. But woo. I feel a lot better and am ready to get back to work.

Right now just waiting on the immigration peep to get back to us. He is likely doing holidays too so I am not the most worried...well...outside of the usual worry I seem to constantly have.

Amber Williams · January 05, 2009, 01:59:45 AM

Day something in January
Been a while since I posted in this. Just been...bwagh.

The stress is somedays unbearable. It's like I will be sitting and having tea and then suddenly I am reminded I have less than 30 days otherwise DOOM. And then I freak out for a few hours before settling down. It's made for a very agitated situation and I give Mason props for being able to handle it cause I am pretty sure me going crazy every day is not the best of things.

Going to submit stuff today, email the immigration peep, and hopefully get onto the next phase by Wednesday. I know there is a medical apointment to be made, and an FBI background check to be filed. Both of which can be done in an evening. (well...the FBI record can be mailed out in an evening. Actually getting it will take some time but luckily we can file papers before it goes in if we have a reciept it was sent) And I know I have to throw down 10 years of my job and living situations. Which is going to be a mental feat since I have the memory span of a gummy bear.

But even that, if I really hunker down and GRIND, should be doable in a day's time. It's just going to be a stress and I apologize so much in advance because I just know up until the day the paperwork is mailed out...I am going to be THE CRAZY.

In other news, I found out another webcomic author is dealing with a similar situation. It's very...saddening to see that the border is giving people hell both ways. You would think we are loaded down with dope and explosives or something. I guess geeky webcomic girl artists are the new racial profile or something. Still, its a stress I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy...so I feel for her. I admit I am torn between taking off part of my own donations I got and send them her way. Part of me feels I should hold onto what I have just in case...but part of me also feels compelled that if I am doing well and I see another peep doing not so well, I should lend a hand.

Either way, I am not looking forward to this month and all the stress its going to bring.

Amber Williams · January 06, 2009, 03:18:33 AM

Day Blaaaargh:

Finally submitted most of everything needed to get to step two. A couple letters are still missing and can always throw more photos at them...but so far its looking like its round 2.

And oy...total pain in the butt round.

Basically there are three major things I need to do to complete this next step.

Thing one is the medical appointment. No biggie. I knew that one was coming. I got a list of numbers and tomorrow I am intending to call and make an appointment. So odds are next Monday or Tuesday I will be going in and getting X-raaaayed.

Thing two is the FBI record check. Also not a biggie. That is me sending fingerprints, a check to the FBI and whatnot along with an essay telling them why I want this record. Pretty much doable in an evening...but also annoying. Its my current anxiety attack thing to imagine how they are going to uncover some past transgression of DEWM. Cause I am retarded like that.

Thing three is the worst of the bunch because it is a serious reminder of how much I suck when it comes to memory and paperwork. Gotta list my work history, my living residency history, and jot down a good chunk of my immediate family and their current status/locations. As well as dates regarding Mason and my relationship. I am the kind of peep who forgets everyones birthdays. Trying to figure out where my ex-step brother from my moms previous marraige is is like me trying to find religion in a bag of Fritos.

But regardless of the stress and the fuss...I actually feel for the first time a bit confident. It isnt going to be easy, but it isn't impossible and I have a outline of what needs to be done. And as long as I dont get stupid procrastinating...I should be able to get most all of it done before this Friday and the rest of it all should come together by next Friday.

In other news, my car is actually doing well. A friend got me a new grill to replace the one I lost in the accident and as it turns out there is a Geo bumper in stock that the auto place was able to order. So in a weeks time my car should in theory be back up to full snuff soon enough which is also nice. It will likely be the last of my purchases since all remaining funds will likely be going to possible immigration hidden fees and bills.

All in all...another stressful day.

Amber Williams · January 06, 2009, 11:43:40 AM

Day Blargh some more
Made an appointment. Getting the medical exam next Tuesday. Gonna be a mix of bloodwork, xrays, and overall healthiness tests. Much like the FBI background check, the paranoia that something is wrong that I am aware of is pretty there.

Either way, the medical exam is set and thats progress.

Amber Williams · January 10, 2009, 10:44:21 AM

Cue the Final Coundown music

So here is the upcoming weeks plan for me...

Monday: Background checks. Basically I have to walk down to the commissionars office and get fingerprints taken and verification done so that I can have both the Canadian government and FBI check my records to make sure I am not a secret criminal in disguise. Both of which should be doable in a single afternoon so I am setting Monday to be that day. This is the part where I panic that I may have some criminal smudge on my record I am not aware of.

Tuesday: Medical checkup. Going to the doctor and getting bloodwork and xrays done. Hoping to get that all done in a single afternoon as well. Course they wont actually tell me if anything is wrong (well, outside of the doctor saying anything at the end of the checkup like normal) so if I have the cancer or anything reject-worthy...the government that will be judging me will know about it before I do.

In both cases...its very paranoia inducing since even though I personally think I am ok healthwise(stupid sicknesses notwithstanding) and criminal recordwise...I am not 100% absolutely stone positive. So its a bit of a nerve wrack.

Wednesday: The big dropoff. Going to drop everything off to be organized. All the documents, all the personal info, all the remaining fees. If things go according to plan, this will mean on Wednesday I will have submitted everything necessary on my part to get the application put in. Granted there may be one or two hiccups or bits I need to resubmit or double-add on...but yes. Wednesday is the day I am aiming to finally have everything that needs to be done done.

As such, I admit it is very very very likely that while I will likely have an update on Monday...that Tuesday and Wednesdays updates will be getting the shaft this week. But on the plus side, this will mean that those should in theory be the last updates I truly miss and next week I will be able to return to a normal update schedule rather than this sporadic one.

ZE END IS NEAR!

Amber Williams · January 13, 2009, 12:44:03 PM

Ze Doctor, Ze Commissioner, Ze Candlestick Maker...

Entering the final hurdles now. Pretty much if we can get the stuff all needed submitted this week...there should be plenty time to get the paperwork sent out before deadline and all will be well.

Yesterday I went to the commissioners office to get my fingerprints done. Which was grand because apparently my WUSSY ART FINGERS were just too darn dainty or something and I kept botching their fingerprint scanning device. To the point it actually froze the whole program and caused it to crash. 3 times.

So I had to get them done the old fashioned roller-ink way. Despite the snafu, fingerprint mission complete.

At the time I write this, I just got back from the doctors office. Had to get pretty much a physical. Tinkle in the cup, blood test, followed by a chest xray. Whole nine yards I suppose. All in all not the worst, even the blood test went pretty smoothly without any real discomfort. I am just glad needle phobia is not on the list of my issues.

I admit I am nervous cause who knows what may turn up. But at the same time, neither the doctor or the xray lady said anything seemed off...and I would assume that if there was anything that triggered their "you should get this medicated", they would have said something. BUT PARANOIA NONETHELESS.

All thats left at this time is to get letters rounded up, write out my history and personal information, print, write checks, and organized. So everything is going to plan right now.

In other news, FREAKING SNOW. Uuuuurgh...hate hate snoow! And naturally every day I am supposed to drive...SNOOOOW. This winter: sucks butt.

Amber Williams · January 14, 2009, 04:32:43 PM

De Drop Off
As of this time, the papers and documents and information has been sent to the immigration lawyer peeps and if all goes well, all that is left is putting it all together and sending it out. Odds are there are going to be some details that need to be added and a few more questions and tweaks...but all in all...this is it. Things are officially more complete than not and its the final stages where the majority of it is work that we dont have to do.

Needless to say I am now finding new and creative ways to worry about. Particularly in regards to if I detailed my employment information enough. or my residency information. Or perhaps I should have put in more pictures...

It's hard to believe that this whole situation may actually be drawing to a resolution. A lot has happened since my return back in December...a lot of stress, fuss, and tears. I cant help but think that it really isn't close to ending but instead I will find out and discover a new hiccup.

Regardless, tonight I am gonna go out and eat some tasty food and try to enjoy an evening. Even if this isn't the end, I feel like celebrating a little because dangit...I feel like I accomplished something.

Amber Williams · January 28, 2009, 11:35:11 AM

This is it

The papers have been submitted. Including the sudden last-minute ones that popped up and I had to mad-dash to complete before Thursday in order to get my visa extended in time.

Now all I can do is wait and see what happens. In less than 3 days I will know what my life is going to be like for the next 6 months. In less than 3 days, I get to sit and wonder what exactly could go wrong and prepare for the worst case scenario.

I am actually in physical discomfort at this point. My head has been a constant headache since Monday. My left shoulder keeps locking up with cramps and making me unable to turn my head proper at times. I may have in fact gone a bit insane, I am not sure yet. This whole process has been miserable, stressful, expensive. It has drained me of energy, sanity, finances, and good will towards life in general.

And despite all that, I still have to wait less than three days to find out if it was all for nothing.

Amber Williams · January 29, 2009, 10:57:28 PM

The wait continues...

I have been sleeping a lot today. I think part of it is since I cannot draw, I am just trying to avoid thinking about anything by being as unconcious as possible. Sort of like I keep hoping to wake up and the problem will have gone away and resolved itself.

My guess is tomorrow is going to be the moment of truth. The immigration lawyers are likely not going to be working the weekend which means if I am to find out my situation, it will be on Friday afternoon. Cause the next time they would be available to talk to me...it will be 2 days after my current visa has expired. And I am pretty sure being in the country after the visa has expired may very well be a bad thing. And possible one of the few things that could likely make the entire two months completely worthless.

The kicker of course is...everything is in fact done. I have completed the requirement put forth. The application at this time is submitted. There is no real reason that a visa extension would be denied. It's all boiling down to a race of time. And that...is probably the most aggravating part of it. Cause I cant help but feel maybe I should have pushed harder. Maybe I should have given up christmas with relatives, or maybe I should have just put DMFA on haitus for January. Its all sorts of maybes and what ifs.

So yeah. Friday afternoon is the time I expect to discover what comes next. And if it is bad news...or no news at all...that means I need to pack some bags and drive regardless of whatever terrible weather may be out there back to Indiana before Saturday ends. And that...is incredibly frightening.

It's an astounding kind of fear really. It isn't a fear where my life is in danger. Or something I can just adrenaline rush and be done with. It's a constant paranoid feeling that I will be miserable for months or years to come and everything I will try to stop it will be either pointless, not good enough, or something that will make me more miserable in the process. And there is nothing I can do about it at this time.

Physical/mental wise...I am not even sure what is going on anymore. Its like I sort of want to just have some sort of hysterical cry-fest but at the same time I am emotionally numb. I also seem to be going from hyper "I dont care about anytheeeeeng" to me just looking for something to fight and tear apart. I've been avoiding most forum and email things because anything that would require more than a paragraph of serious conversation seems to be causing me to become incredibly agitated. It doesn't help that I have near no attention span at this time. Concentration is completely gone. For a while there...it actually felt like a surreal sense of intoxication in that there was a delayed reaction time, and a sense of apathy for my own actions. Its like...I have gone so far past the point of stress and caring...I have lost the ability to care in general.

All in all...I am tired. But I am scared to sleep. Tomorrow is the day as far as I can tell. Not necessarily the day I find out my residence status, but at least the day I find out my status for the next month. And I know once I do go to sleep, it will be upon me in no time. I'm scared to know the answer...because I don't know if I am going to be strong enough to handle it if it is the bad one. Or none at all.

I've done what I can and yet I feel like I haven't done nearly as much as I should have. Or done it as good as I should have.

Come what may..I want to thank everyone who has been reading along and sending kind words. It's not been a fun time for you guys either I know. And I know in my mind-daze I have really been apathetic to everyone else and their feelings and needs. And I apologize for that. You all have been wonderful peeps and even though right now I am in crazy-town, I know that regardless of what happens...things will ultimately get better even if they do go worse for a bit. Because I got a family that wuvs me, and friends that care about me, and the best peeps on the internet rooting for me.

So here we go. All together now.

Amber Williams · January 30, 2009, 01:29:05 PM

And now...a sing along while I wait for a response from the immigration peeps!

Oooooooooh~
My ulcers have a first name.
It's stress stress stress stress stress!
My migraines have a second name.
It's stress stress stress stress stress!
Oh I don't like immigration,
And if you ask me why I'll say
Because all this stress really sucks
Just tell me what comes next today.

Amber Williams · January 30, 2009, 03:43:53 PM

And thus finally appearing, the response:

QuoteHI Amber;

Your application for visitor record was sent yesterday to arrive in Alberta today. What that means is that as long as you apply for an extension prior to the expiry date, you are allowed to stay until the decision is rendered (you hold what is called "implied status"). You should refrain from leaving Canada until you receive your new permit. Being that you did not anticipate travelling to the US anytime soon, mailing made the most sense.

You do not have to leave Canada and I would advise against it as you could encounter trouble without a new permit.

The only potential issue is the fact that your permit actually expires today and not February 1st. CIC could (although I doubt it) come back to us and ask for the restoration fee, which is $200.00. Shouldn't be an issue but if they don't date stamp the application received today they could call to see if we want to proceed with restoring status versus extending. Keep that in mind if I come back to you asking for $200.00.

Is definitely best to stay on top of your expiry dates, however, we got the application in and you can relax for the time being.

Have a good weekend

So I finally got an answer, and I may have to pay a ninja bill of $200. And it is possible things could go awry after the fact. But it looks like I am at least not having to make any trips this weekend and there won't be any mounties coming to get me on Sunday. This calls for a celebratory nap. See you peeps in 5 hours.

Amber Williams · January 31, 2009, 11:44:19 PM

Cause life just likes being a dick

Mason is going to the medical centre tomorrow. While it is far from life threatening...something is definately not good and it is looking like it is gonna require a doctor. This may or may not delay Monday's comic.

Ugh...I dont want to say "if its not one thing its another" because this involves my husbands health. But geez...talk about timing.

Amber Williams · February 01, 2009, 05:12:40 PM

Bloog

So many hours, a bunch of tests, and icky hospital cafeteria food meal later...Mason is back and doing ok. Its looking to be mainly a really stubborn bit of bacteria but nothing serious or dire so he was allowed to go home. They're gonna call tomorrow with results and likely what medication he is going to be narfing the next week on.

All in all..blargh day but could be worse.